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Watch The Big Bang Theory GalaxyTV Season 9 Episode 8 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:02Previously on the Big Bang Theory.
00:04There's no point dwelling on it.
00:05As the Vulcans say,
00:11Do you know what that means?
00:13No.
00:14You telling the truth?
00:16Nurse.
00:18Well, this is ridiculous.
00:20Being upset about Amy all the time isn't accomplishing anything.
00:23If I want to resolve this situation, then I need to take action.
00:26What are you going to do?
00:27I'm going to find her and ask her to marry me.
00:30If she says yes, we can put this behind us and resume our relationship.
00:33If she says no,
00:35well, then she can just pompo mirin.
00:41He didn't mean that.
01:06You think it's so adorable you're making Sheldon breakfast?
01:10Well, he's having a rough time.
01:12Amy broke his heart.
01:13The DVR cut off the last minute of Doctor Who.
01:16That crow followed him home.
01:20Aren't you worried you're making French toast on oatmeal day?
01:23Oh, well, what's this?
01:25A pot of oatmeal or, thanks to you, what I will now call gloatmeal?
01:30Oh, well, I don't want credit for that.
01:35Doctor and Mrs. Hofstadter, lovely to see you this fine morning.
01:38You're in a good mood.
01:39Yeah, I am indeed.
01:41I have decided instead of wallowing in sadness about Amy,
01:44it is time that I find myself a new female companion.
01:47Oh, good for you.
01:49What brought this on?
01:50I realized something.
01:51When Amy was in my life,
01:53I was hyper-focused on my work and ignored her.
01:56You don't want to make the same mistake with the next woman?
01:58No, I need a new woman in my life to ignore
02:00so I can hyper-focus on my work again.
02:03Hey, I made French toast sticks.
02:05On oatmeal day?
02:06Ah, I also made oatmeal.
02:08Oh, that's a lot of carbohydrates for a man on the prowl.
02:12You know what?
02:13You eat it.
02:14You're married.
02:14It doesn't matter what you look like.
02:18Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow.
02:49Thank you for coming by, gentlemen.
02:51No problem.
02:52So, what's up?
02:53Well, it was the two of you who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me.
02:56Now that I'm looking for my next girlfriend,
02:58it seemed only logical that I employ your services once again.
03:02You sure you're up for that?
03:03She did hurt you.
03:05Oh, no, it's all right.
03:06I think of my time with Amy as a stick of fruit-striped gum.
03:09Sweet and enjoyable at first,
03:11but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.
03:16You're not wrong about fruit-stripe.
03:18I was always a hubba-bubba man.
03:21Hubba-bubba over double bubble?
03:23You're crazy.
03:24Hey, the jaw wants what it wants.
03:27Yeah, Jad's on that.
03:28Oh, right.
03:29Uh, girlfriend.
03:30But what are you looking for?
03:33All I'm looking for is an educated, intelligent woman
03:36who shares my interests while retaining her own unique point of view.
03:39Uh, she should be kind, patient,
03:40and most important, uh, unable to imagine life
03:43without me by ten o'clock tonight.
03:46Isn't that a little unreasonable?
03:48All right, fine.
03:49She doesn't need her own point of view.
03:50Now chop, chop.
03:54Come on, Amy.
03:55Show us the dress.
03:56Okay, but I'm really stepping outside of my comfort zone here.
04:08Uh, I don't think any of your comfort zones are showing.
04:13Yeah, it's your third date.
04:14Maybe you could go more sexy.
04:16Well, some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
04:20No one ever bought me drinks at a bar
04:21because my brain just popped out of my shirt.
04:25Do you have any heels higher than this?
04:27He's pretty tall.
04:28Ooh, tall.
04:29Finally, some details about this mystery man.
04:32Yeah, come on, tell us more.
04:33Well, I told you his name and that he's tall.
04:36What more do you need?
04:37Did you kiss him yet?
04:39Just a little peck on the lips.
04:44Oh, we're your best friends.
04:46Give us one more detail and we promise we'll leave you alone.
04:48Fine.
04:49Um, he's British.
04:54All right, that is a juicy one.
04:57All right, where's tall British Dave taking you?
05:00Tea and basketball.
05:02To that new Italian place on Walnut.
05:05Oh, nice.
05:06I'm gonna go look for other shoes.
05:07Oh, good luck.
05:08I threw out all my tall ones when I married Leonard.
05:13Hey, you want to swing by that place tonight and get a look at this guy?
05:16We don't even know what time they're gonna be there.
05:18I'll just call a restaurant, pretend I'm Amy, and check the reservation.
05:21Damn, you're sneaky.
05:24Yeah, but I'm little, so it's adorable.
05:29I think the quickest way to find you a new girlfriend is just to get you on every dating website
05:35out there.
05:35Oh, are you sure?
05:37I've heard that on those sites, often when you think you're corresponding with someone,
05:40it's actually a computer program pretending to be a real person.
05:43And you're afraid it'll do a better job than you?
05:48Excuse me, no one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do.
05:53Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.
05:57But if you don't want to use dating websites, what do you suggest?
06:00Off the top of my head?
06:02Perspective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains.
06:07She shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory
06:10and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
06:15You seriously think women would fight for you?
06:17People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
06:22He's right, he knows a lot of jokes.
06:26No, but it is basic human nature.
06:28If we present him as a prize, maybe they would.
06:32Well, he's smart. He's a respected scientist.
06:35And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.
06:40I don't know if I'd say you...
06:43Oh.
06:46I have an idea.
06:47What if we put a post on Craigslist that says
06:50world-class Caltech physicist seeking girlfriend.
06:53If interested, solve the following puzzles for a chance to meet him.
06:57Yeah, we'll make the puzzles extremely challenging to eliminate unworthy candidates.
07:01Oh, we could set it up like a scavenger hunt where the last puzzle gives the winner Sheldon's contact information.
07:06This is actually an interesting social experiment.
07:09I'm a little jealous of the people who get to do it.
07:11Me too, and we've seen the prize.
07:18I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie.
07:21Oh, I forgot to tell you we're gonna meet up with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date.
07:24What?
07:25What?
07:25I want to do that.
07:27And you think I want to see a documentary about aluminum can recycling?
07:31This is the movie that Big Soda doesn't want you to see.
07:35No, it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see.
07:39So you're actually okay with invading your friend's privacy?
07:43You're not curious who she's out with?
07:45Not really.
07:46But you're curious about aluminum cans.
07:51You're a weird little guy.
07:56That's it.
07:57The Sheldon Cooper girlfriend challenge is officially live.
08:01Congratulations.
08:02Exciting.
08:03Right now, somewhere, a woman is dividing the atomic weight of the best noble gas by the number of colors
08:09and the oldest national flag still in use.
08:11Well, then using that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire.
08:15And taking her first step towards a lifetime of laughter, love, and best of all, rules.
08:22I hope we didn't make the puzzles too hard.
08:24Well, if she can solve them, it'll prove she's intelligent, tenacious, and so socially awkward she has nothing better to
08:32do on a Saturday night.
08:35Golly, she sounds too good to be true.
08:40This is fun.
08:41I haven't dated much since my divorce.
08:43Oh, I'm having a good time too.
08:45If you don't mind me asking, why did you and your wife split up?
08:49Oh, you know how it is. We wanted different things.
08:51I wanted children, and she wanted a pastry chef named Jean-Philippe.
08:57Oh, I'm so sorry.
08:59No, it's fine. It's why I left England.
09:00It reminded me too much of her cold, gloomy, and easily accessed by a Frenchman through a tunnel.
09:09Hey, so where are they?
09:11Across the street, in the left window.
09:14Oh, damn it. We should have brought binoculars.
09:16Right here.
09:19We just happened to have those in the car?
09:21Kinda.
09:22Before I met Howie, I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends.
09:25By stalking them?
09:27No, stalkers are creepy.
09:29I'm just a harmless little girl with military-grade spy equipment.
09:34Oh, there he is.
09:36He's cute, right?
09:37Yeah.
09:38Can I see?
09:39What, now you're interested? You didn't even want to come.
09:42I know, but you guys make being a crappy friend look fun.
09:46Fine.
09:49Yeah, okay, I see him.
09:50It looks like they're having a nice time. I wish you could hear what they're saying.
09:53Yeah, I should have brought my parabolic microphone.
09:56Your what?
09:57Nothing that important.
09:59So, you've never been married?
10:01No. I mean, to be completely honest, I've only been in one long-term relationship.
10:06What happened with that?
10:07That's a good question.
10:13After five years, it was just feeling like more work than it should be.
10:17That's too bad. Was he a neurobiologist like you?
10:19No, he's a theoretical physicist at Caltech.
10:25I love teaching math, but that would be my dream job.
10:28What's his focus?
10:30Used to be string theory, now it's dark matter, but let's not discuss Sheldon.
10:35Let's get back to you.
10:37Wait, you're not talking about Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
10:42I'm trying not to.
10:45Do you know him?
10:47No, but I followed his work for years.
10:49He's a rock star.
10:50You've got to tell me about him.
10:51What's he like?
10:56He really seems into her.
11:00I took a video.
11:02I forgot how much fun this is.
11:05Okay, we saw them.
11:07Can we go catch the movie?
11:08Why'd you bring him?
11:10I had to hear we're married now.
11:13Yes, I hear that.
11:21I'm sorry, just one more question about Sheldon.
11:23Sure, why not?
11:25It's more of a four-part question, really.
11:29When he wrote his paper on super-singular prime numbers, how long did it take?
11:34Um, about an hour and a half.
11:36Wow!
11:39I mean, wow!
11:41And you were there to see it?
11:43Yes.
11:44We were on a date.
11:47Very much like this one.
11:50I doubt it was like this one.
11:51I mean, he's a genius and I wasn't even smart enough to figure out why my wife always smell of
11:56croissants.
11:59What was the rest of your question?
12:01Do you think you could introduce me to him?
12:02Really?
12:03You want me to introduce you to my ex-boyfriend?
12:06You're right, it's weird.
12:08No, wait, do it!
12:11No, I changed my mind.
12:13I'd be too nervous.
12:15Oh, I don't know what to do!
12:19Are we going to be much longer? I really have to go to the bathroom.
12:22Right here.
12:2837 minutes left until the deadline.
12:31Someone will show.
12:32And no matter what happens, this is still a fun experiment.
12:36Not as fun as the night we blew up grapes in the microwave.
12:40You really have led full lives.
12:44Someone will show.
12:46Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you.
12:48You know what they say, opposites attract.
12:50Well, by that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy.
12:55Not to cast dispersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.
13:05You know, I once drove 500 miles to hear him speak at Stanford.
13:11I have a DVD of that lecture.
13:13Really? Wasn't it great?
13:16Not as a Valentine's present, no.
13:20Well, the next time you watch it, I'm the bloke who asked the question that he said was stupid and
13:24obvious.
13:26It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there.
13:30That's terrific.
13:31Listen, I'm kind of tired. Can we call it a night?
13:34Oh, gosh.
13:35Sorry, I just spent the whole night talking about your ex-boyfriend.
13:38I'm such an idiot.
13:39No, you're not.
13:41Well, maybe not an idiot, but certainly not as smart as someone we won't mention.
13:48That you said you might introduce me to. I'm free on Thursday.
13:52Hey, hey, they're leaving.
13:53What? Here, give me, give me.
13:56Oh, my God. Oh, my God, they're coming right towards us.
13:59We gotta get out of here.
14:00Okay, well, wait, what about Leonard?
14:02He and his tiny bladder can take the bus.
14:07Oh, oh!
14:09Oh, no.
14:14She just hit my car.
14:17What are you guys doing here?
14:19Oh, hey, what are you doing here?
14:24What happened?
14:26OMG.
14:28Aren't you Leonard Hofstetter?
14:30Yeah.
14:31I saw you speak at Stafford with Sheldon Cooper.
14:33Amy, can you believe it? It's Dr. Leonard Hofstetter.
14:38No, pinch me.
14:40It's an absolute pleasure to meet you.
14:42Can I shake your hand?
14:43I don't know if you want to do that.
14:44I was just, oh, yeah, never mind.
14:48Amy, I'm never washing this hand again.
14:49You really should.
14:5460 seconds.
14:56This is not looking good.
14:57One minute is a long time.
14:59Well, I've been telling women that for 20 years.
15:0545.
15:0645 seconds is plenty of time for a woman to walk through that door and fall in love with me.
15:11Probably half that if I break out the old cow eyes.
15:1530 seconds.
15:17Uh-oh.
15:18What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
15:21What?
15:22Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
15:25You thought she was great in X-Men.
15:27Oh, fine. I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.
15:31Guys, 15 seconds.
15:34Maybe she's waiting to show up at the last possible moment.
15:36Ugh, sounds like a drama queen.
15:38Oh, no. It is Jennifer Lawrence.
15:42Five.
15:44Four.
15:45Three.
15:46Two.
15:48One.
15:54It's too bad.
15:56Maybe we did make the test too difficult.
15:58I don't think it matters.
15:59Look, Sheldon.
16:00I believe when the time is right for you to meet someone, it'll just happen.
16:04Okay?
16:05Not because of a test or a website, but because-
16:09We are the dreamers of dreams!
16:18It's an actual girl.
16:20She's really pretty.
16:21Answer it!
16:23Alright.
16:30Can I help you?
16:31Um, are you the physicist that placed the ad on Craigslist?
16:34Yes?
16:36Hi.
16:37I'm Vanessa Bennett.
16:38Sorry it took a while for me to get here.
16:40I was stuck in this boring symposium on atomic spectroscopy when I came across your ad.
16:44And it saved my night.
16:45The puzzles were really fun.
16:47I've never had to translate Klingon into ancient Sanskrit before.
16:54Careful.
16:55It's addictive.
17:04Or, as they say in Sanskrit,
17:11And just like that, you're a Klingon Sanskrit junkie.
17:14Anyway, I just, I knew I had to meet the person responsible for such a brilliant idea.
17:19And I don't need to tell you, there aren't a lot of men who love physics, archaic languages, and flags
17:23of the world.
17:25I am a bit of a unicorn.
17:29Well, you certainly seem like a special lady.
17:31But as you know, you missed the deadline, so thanks for playing.
17:42How could you send her away?
17:45She was late.
17:47And she found atomic spectroscopy boring.
17:50I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals.
18:01Thanks for driving me home.
18:02No problem.
18:03I'm really sorry about your car.
18:05Oh, it's alright.
18:06If you're free next weekend, I'd love to take you out again.
18:10Um...
18:11Listen, you're a really nice guy, but I just, I don't think this is working out.
18:16Oh.
18:17Okay.
18:18I'm...
18:18I'm really sorry.
18:20Nice.
18:21At least the same woman that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me.
18:27There you go.
18:30If I ever do meeting, we'll have that in common.
18:33Sure.
18:35And he's kissed you, and I've kissed you.
18:38So if you think about it...
18:39Okay, get out.
18:52All right.
19:05Good clip.
19:10See you soon.
19:12See you soon.
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