00:05what are you doing the light is red so I came to a stop you're in a stolen cop car
00:11with a dead
00:11hooker in the trunk you don't have to obey traffic laws I know I don't have to the fun
00:18is choosing to hey misty guys at the faculty mixer oh you should have been there dessert
00:27was bananas sorry that was misleading the dessert was pie but the pie was bananas actually the pie
00:34was cherry but the taste of the pie was bananas those mixers are such a waste of university money
00:44if they spent less money on frivolous nonsense and more money on science we'd all be better off
00:49you're a theoretical physicist what more do you need than an office in a whiteboard someday my
00:55new formulas on entropy decrease due to quantum decoherence will need to be tested and that will
01:01require funding your theories are pretty abstract I wouldn't even know how to design an experiment to
01:06prove them says the experimental physicist well I know a place the university can make some cuts
01:13bye Leonard he's got a point in order to corroborate your string theory research you'd have to create a
01:20black hole wouldn't that destroy the earth well perhaps but we'd all go to the grave knowing I was
01:26right I guess you could create a contained microscopic black hole huh interesting if welcome back Leonard
01:39sorry you're out what did I do exactly
01:46our whole universe was in a hot dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way
01:53the earth began to cool the autotropes began to drew me and with all developed tools we built a wall
01:58we built a pyramid snap science history unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang
02:15oh this one's pretty hmm my mother wouldn't approve shows too much clavicle she calls it the bosom's
02:22welcome mat I can't wait to get drunk and pick a fight with her at your wedding it's so hard
02:30to tell
02:31what will look good on me no this is just to give you ideas you know do you want something
02:35simple and
02:35elegant do you want a train oh we're talking about trains not the kind of trains you like oh I
02:42like all
02:43kinds of trains steam diesel coal elevated bullet I defy you to name a train that I don't like the
02:50kind
02:50on the back of a wedding dress I did not see that coming good job while we're on the subject
02:56of fashion I'm
02:57asking the university for some funding tomorrow what should I wear well I've got a push-up bra I
03:02can loan you that always gets me free drinks how much money are you asking for five hundred million
03:09dollars then I'd go no bra what do you need that kind of money for I have figured out an
03:18experimental
03:19design that may corroborate my latest thinking on string theory I just need 2148 high-power lasers to
03:26compress 20 micrograms of gold into a small enough volume to make a microscopic black hole just nod
03:37Sheldon they're not gonna give you half a billion dollars I mean they won't even give me that much
03:41and I keep promising I can make people's brains grow younger can you but I need it is the only
03:53way to
03:53settle the contradictions between gravity and quantum mechanics well it's too much money you can't ask
03:58for that all at once well what if I asked for it in six easy installments of eighty three million
04:03three
04:03hundred thirty three thousand three hundred thirty three dollars and thirty three cents okay what if
04:08you asked for twenty million yeah I'm sorry I'm trying to do science not hire Lady Gaga to come to
04:13my
04:16birthday do you even know who Lady Gaga is presumably the wife of Lord Gaga Sheldon you know Penny's got
04:27a
04:27point sometimes when you want something big from someone you gotta be careful not to scare them away
04:32you know you gotta start small and build up slowly even if it takes eight years eight long years
04:48that's oddly specific have you ever done that so with this level of high power laser array we would
05:05actually be able to solve the black hole information paradox once and for all that's impressive and how
05:11much funding were you looking for twenty million dollars really you think you can build that for
05:17twenty million dollars not a chance I'm sorry then why are you asking me for it because once you've
05:25spent twenty million dollars you're much more likely to give me an additional fifty so actually what
05:30you're saying is with seventy million dollars you can build this I can see why you think that but no
05:36you can't go to the board of trustees and say you gave Sheldon Cooper seventy million dollars and
05:41have nothing to show for it now the only way you'd be able to save face is to double down
05:45so 140 and
05:47then double again 280 and then good news not quite double again so uh what do you say we have
05:58a deal
06:00you said no no that's only a two-letter word you're gonna have to double down
06:07I'm sorry Sheldon but this sort of thing happens you Higgs had to wait almost 50 years before they built
06:13a
06:13collider big enough to prove his theory 50 years but I want to play with it now
06:19just have to wait for science to catch up or technology to get cheaper think about DVD players
06:25they used to cost like a thousand dollars but just the other day I used one to smash a bug
06:29yeah you
06:32just have to be patient yeah but what if while I'm being patient someone more relentless than me
06:37badgers their university into giving them money there's someone more relentless than you I'd like to meet
06:43them I would not I'm not waiting for the university to come around I'll find another way to raise the
06:52money oh if it's one of those booths where we can throw a pie at you I'm in for like
06:5620 bucks 40
06:59bucks if I can throw a DVD player would you like some champagne thanks nice with helping Amy find a
07:12dress or day drinking what do you think Amy oh my god you look so beautiful I feel beautiful and
07:25look
07:25both clavicles take that mom you know what they say if you got them flaunt them is it possible that
07:34the
07:34very first dress is the dress don't be silly you can't buy the first dress you try on that'd be
07:40like
07:40marrying the first guy that you you can't buy the first dress you try on little finger sandwiches
07:50too this place is amazing interesting thing about finger sandwiches you put enough of them together
07:55you got a sandwich uh guys we have a problem are you okay what's wrong I look amazing in all
08:03of these
08:05dresses wow look at your waist where you've been hiding that thing Bernadette stop Penny you say
08:13something nice now boy you know when Sheldon sees you in that dress he's gonna want to methodically take
08:19it off fold it up carefully place it in a storage box label it and then ravish you should I
08:26try on
08:26do you want some more you having fun am I having fun being beautiful of course I am all right
08:31keep going this is it this is the one
08:42do you love it do you do you I do I do wow
08:54also wow
09:02hello Leonard hi are you doing anything no I'm sitting here at my desk typing on my computer for
09:08nothing that was my guess but I didn't want to assume can you help me shoot my Kickstarter video
09:16do you really think people are gonna give you half a billion dollars of course not but if I can
09:21raise
09:22enough seed money to show that I'm serious I should be able to attract some major investors and look
09:27at the cool incentives I'm offering for $50,000 I will examine your diet and create a customized
09:35bathroom schedule that's fitting 50 grand down the toilet but how about this for a hundred thousand
09:44dollars I will design the flag of your house or apartment and for one million dollars I will come
09:50over and tell you what's wrong with you oh and all these years I've been getting that for free
09:59don't be smug Leonard that's one of the things that's wrong with you
10:05well that was a successful trip yes Amy found a dress that she liked she sure did
10:14she found a dress that looked like like it made her happy she did look happy I mean her face
10:22was just
10:23glowing yeah we should make sure the photographer knows to just really get in there so we agree
10:34it's awful that dress should be set on fire should we say something no we can't don't you think she
10:42brought us with her she wants our honest opinion no one wants that I do no you don't I don't
10:53want her
10:53to look back and think she made some awful mistake you mean like your dumb cookie monster tattoo see was
11:00that fun someone's gonna say something it should be us now instead of everyone at her wedding okay
11:07but as long as we do it gently and together what about my dress don't you like it I don't
11:16you to fall
11:30hey Stuart I'd like to sell some comic books oh I know all about that step one is flunk out
11:36of art
11:37school why are you selling them the university is refusing to fund my experiment so I need to raise
11:45money and do it on my own how much you need for a start I'm trying to raise five hundred
11:49thousand
11:50dollars well I hope you have that rare Superman printed on the skin of actual Superman yeah I know
11:59you're making a joke but I really do have some valuable issues in here and this is just the
12:03first box of many all right let's see what you got this is a complete run of Todd McFarlane spawn
12:18yes look at this giant size X-Men number one Len Wein's relaunch of the franchise yeah I know what
12:26it is
12:27I'm the one who bought it bagged it boarded it and taped it shut while wearing white cotton gloves
12:32okay well you know I'm gonna have to open it to assess its condition just be gentle that's never
12:39felt the touch of a man before you don't seem like you really want to sell these of course I
12:47don't want
12:47to sell these these are all important to me but not as important as science and if this is the
12:53sacrifice I need to make then so be it okay why don't you leave these here with me and I'll
12:58I'll
12:59price them out for you is it okay if I stand here and watch sure if anyone asked tell them
13:08I was brave
13:13hey I can't believe you just threw me under the bus I know right that was crazy what
13:18do you know how that makes me look that's an easy one bad what why didn't you tell her that
13:24you
13:24didn't like the dress either I mean what happened to our united front I'm sorry is this your first
13:28day being a girl oh did your mom pack your lunch of course not do you know how much it
13:42costs to pack a
13:43tuna fish sandwich and dry ice and overnight it from Texas well I do when my mother says it's too
13:48expensive I like tuna fish do you want it I'll sell it to you for $5,000 how's the fundraising
13:56going
13:56oh that depends Raj was that a yes no it's going badly how much have you raised well with my
14:03Kickstarter campaign selling my collectibles and the money in my bank account about $65,000
14:09wow that's a lot yeah not enough it's so frustrating that science should be held hostage to the almighty
14:16dollar don't give up you'll find that money somewhere you really think so no but it's good
14:21that he has a hobby you ever thought of going to Vegas can you be more specific Las Vegas oh
14:31you
14:31mean gambling oh well that's not the worst idea um it is the worst idea and I'm including the year
14:38that Raj wore nothing but track suits ordinary people can't beat a casino but mathematicians and
14:45scientists they do it all the time yeah a group of students from MIT took Las Vegas for millions
14:50and that's MIT Howard went there come on Sean I'll give you a ride out to the desert right now
14:59no one is going to Vegas no we weren't gonna make it to Vegas
15:07hi do you have a minute depends is what I'm wearing okay or should I go change first
15:14look I'm sorry I never should have said I didn't like your dress it's your wedding and all that
15:19matters is that you feel beautiful thank you so are we good no we're not good you ruined my dress
15:28why I just said you should wear it well I can't wear it now I mean I know you hate
15:33it that's all
15:33I'm gonna be thinking about I don't hate it I asked if you liked it and you said no there
15:39is a lot of
15:40room between don't like and hate you know it's it's where you you find rice pudding and jazz
15:46anyway who cares what I think I do you're the the coolest prettiest best-dressed person in my life
15:54okay that would be flattering except I know all the people in your life
16:01look Amy I don't know what to say I think I got stuck on the fact that it's not a
16:05dress I would
16:06choose but it shouldn't be you know it's your dress I mean hey would you marry Leonard no okay
16:15a simple no would have been fine but you see my point that we're different people yes and from now
16:24on I'm gonna remember that this wedding is all about you I appreciate that you're a good maid of
16:31honor it's Bernadette hello I feel bad about hanging penny out to dry the truth is I don't like the
16:41dress
16:42either are you kidding me now Bernadette doesn't like the dress no she is the worst anyone seen
16:55Sheldon last time I saw Sheldon was this morning careful don't say his name a third time
17:02you don't think he actually went to Las Vegas do you
17:09this is it it's everything okay sir oh it's better than okay I am a physicist and I've been observing
17:17this wheel for hours and running a chi-square analysis which is how I know that the ball is
17:22far more likely to land on 32 17 or 5 so if you could hold off on replacing this wheel
17:28I'd like to
17:28make several large bets well good for you pelican what's pelican sir would you come with us oh no I
17:37have to place my bet first this is for science 17 black
17:52guess who's no longer allowed to set foot in Wow you look beautiful
18:05really because I was gonna return it why would you return it well you look like a pile of swans
18:17I'm so glad you like it because it's gonna be my wedding dress I can't wait to marry you
18:31why do you smell like smoke
18:34I was in Vegas Vegas no I'm sorry Las Vegas
18:45so
18:53so
Comments