- 2 hours ago
First broadcast 22nd January 1972.
Fenn Street School holds a charity walk for the local old and needy.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Vivienne Martin - Miss Petting
Bernard Holley - Mr. Hurst
Barry McCarthy - Terry Stringer
Charles Bolton - Godber
Billy Hamon - Des
Drina Pavlovic - Celia
Rosemary Faith - Daisy
John Sharp - Police Inspector
Paddy Joyce - Mahon
Lockwood West - Sir Giles Hardwicke
John Owens - Police Constable
Declan Mulholland - Flann
Frank Littlewood - Man
Fenn Street School holds a charity walk for the local old and needy.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Vivienne Martin - Miss Petting
Bernard Holley - Mr. Hurst
Barry McCarthy - Terry Stringer
Charles Bolton - Godber
Billy Hamon - Des
Drina Pavlovic - Celia
Rosemary Faith - Daisy
John Sharp - Police Inspector
Paddy Joyce - Mahon
Lockwood West - Sir Giles Hardwicke
John Owens - Police Constable
Declan Mulholland - Flann
Frank Littlewood - Man
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:24The Lone Ranger
00:44Oh! Decorators!
00:52Do you mind taking your boots out of me bucket?
00:54Well, that's all I'm trying to do, isn't it?
00:56I mean, I'm not wearing it to fetch, you know.
00:57I mean, plastic buckets are not my idea of oak.
01:00Oh, no. Here, mind up, Lang. My leg!
01:06Late again, Mr. Potterman. Three to us, none to you.
01:10Listen, this isn't a game, you know.
01:12I shouldn't have to go around protecting windows with my...
01:15I'm sorry about that, but you see, well, Flann here, he's never at his best.
01:18Especially when he's walking backwards.
01:20Best? Well, you two haven't got any best.
01:22You were supposed to be out of here by the 24th, weren't you?
01:25You think you were supposed to be out? Well, what is it now?
01:27Ten to four.
01:28You see, a week late.
01:30Oh, don't worry, Mr. Potter.
01:31We'll be well finished in time for your charity due.
01:33Yes, well, you see, you do, you know, because my headmaster
01:36doesn't want his big day blighted by distemper.
01:40Hello, Potter.
01:41Sprung a leak of you?
01:43Eh?
01:43Oh, sprung a leak.
01:46Oh!
01:47Oh!
01:56Oh!
01:57Oh!
01:58Oh, I lost my soul in Gulledge!
02:00Oh!
02:00Oh!
02:01Gulledge is a sinful place!
02:04You, Desmond Gobber ain't back yet!
02:06Here we are.
02:07Do we get our money now?
02:09No, Gobber.
02:10You don't get it.
02:11It goes to the old folks.
02:13Eh?
02:13What a swizz I'd make and walk for their own money!
02:16No!
02:16Pick me up quick, Gobber.
02:19I think I've got feet on me blisters.
02:22Oh, that's a lot.
02:2375 back, I make it.
02:24Oh, you're for getting stingy stringer.
02:26When he gets back, I'll be stiff as a board.
02:28Well, he went pretty rigid when Erste made him go.
02:30Here, I heard that.
02:32Oh!
02:32Oh, don't be rotten.
02:34I'm aching all over.
02:35God, I need someone to soothe away me aches and pains.
02:38Eh, Celia?
02:39Don't look at me.
02:40I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole.
02:42Don't think he's after a barge pole, Celia.
02:44I know what he's after.
02:45He's not getting it.
02:46Oh, come on.
02:47I'll give you a good time.
02:48We could go somewhere special, eh?
02:50Yeah, all right.
02:51We'll go to the bamboo club dancing.
02:53Yeah!
02:54Oh!
02:54Oh!
02:55Oh!
02:56Feeling fit after your little stroll stringer?
02:58I'll push off you.
03:00I've expected you to skive off.
03:01Glad to see you've kept it straight and narrow.
03:03Yeah.
03:04Well, I didn't have much choice, did I?
03:05Were you playing the good shepherd on your bike?
03:07Yeah.
03:09Yeah.
03:09I'll show them.
03:11Stinking charity.
03:14This is a most gratifying and heartwarming experience.
03:18Oh, I handling money always is.
03:21Oh, look.
03:22I've got a few left over here.
03:23No, you don't, Mr. Price.
03:25This money is going to the local old people, not the landlord of the feathers.
03:29Oh, well.
03:31I suppose the old folk deserve it.
03:33Are you taking your cut now or later, Smithy?
03:36I am neither old nor local, Price.
03:39But if I were, I should be extremely reluctant to accept charity.
03:45Oh, I wouldn't.
03:45In fact, I'm thinking of sponsoring my own charity walk.
03:48I would have thought charity beer drinking was more in your line, Mr. Price.
03:51Eh?
03:52One evening's work and you could retire for life.
03:54Here we are.
03:55Another fibre from our sponsors.
03:56Oh.
03:57Oh.
03:58Oh, I'd like to pay up too, you love, Mr. Price.
04:00I'm always willing to sacrifice a part of my meagre penance, you know, for a worthy call.
04:04Oh, yes, Norman.
04:04The lad you sponsored arrived back a long time before the others.
04:07Ah, yes.
04:08Well, naturally, because I know a bit about sponsoring, you see.
04:10I have what is known, you see, as a sort of fifth sense.
04:13See what I mean?
04:14Right.
04:14Well, now, there's ten bob for a brave lad.
04:16Yes, he's so keen he set off and completed the circuit twice.
04:20So that's a pound, please, Potter.
04:22Well, it's not my fault if the lad's lost his reason.
04:25Good one.
04:26Come along, my dear love.
04:27Now close your eyes and think of poor bear.
04:30I bet he said that to all his women.
04:32That big fat Irishman has just given poor Miss Petting a very nasty moment.
04:37Did I see a look of envy flash across your face then, Doris?
04:40He pushed it straight through my window.
04:43Oh, I'm fed up with these decorators and their planks and ladders and things.
04:48Oh, strike a light.
04:49That's four to them and none to me.
04:51Norman, this is not a game.
04:52I suggest that you go and lash them with your icy invective.
04:55Very good, Mr. Marshal.
04:56I'll do that, son.
04:56Yes, thank you.
04:58Well, perhaps just on second thought, you know, sir,
05:01I'll sort of give them a sort of a talking to, son.
05:06Oh, Doris, you know, sitting there, you look just like a poem.
05:10The king was in his counting house counting out his money.
05:13The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey.
05:15The maid was in the garden hanging out.
05:18No, no, no, no, don't be sorry, don't be sorry.
05:20I find your childlike innocence so, so pathetic.
05:24Oh, dear.
05:25You know, sometimes when I look at you, I see myself.
05:28Well, it's time for another visit to the optician then, her master.
05:32Oh, what a wonderful lot of money.
05:34Oh, I am glad that I inaugurated the first Fen Street charity walk.
05:37The fact that every other school in the district has had one
05:41and the chairman of the governor's threatened you for 20 minutes on the subject
05:44has nothing to do with that, I suppose.
05:46Nothing whatever.
05:46Oh, he has been very busy, haven't you?
05:48Yes.
05:49He's been arranging this afternoon's presentation
05:52and Sir Giles, somebody is arriving at 3.30,
05:55and all the papers have been told,
05:56and on top of all that, there's his box.
05:59Yes, yes, Sir Giles is to have his presentation
06:02in a very special presentation box.
06:04Of course.
06:06Very impressive.
06:08It used to have old English humbuggers in it.
06:11Oh, it still has.
06:13What a splendid result.
06:15Well done.
06:16Well, the walk has certainly produced a new burst of energy.
06:19Oh, you've got all the bedclothes again, Madge.
06:24Oh, I am sorry, Osborne.
06:25There you are.
06:27Thank you, my precious.
06:28That's all right, pet.
06:37There he goes.
06:38I reckon he's following you, Seal.
06:40But he's in front of us.
06:41I know.
06:42Dead devious, isn't he?
06:44I feel a bit sorry for him, really.
06:46Now, don't, Seal.
06:47He's only playing on your maternal feelings.
06:50And you know what happens to girls when they get maternal?
06:52They have to leave.
06:53Nobody reckons he's got a chick on his shoulder after the charity walk.
06:56Ah, flowers.
06:57Now, there's a lovely going-away present for an old Irish decorator.
07:01Ow!
07:02Isn't that so, Flann?
07:04Mm.
07:04These ain't for you.
07:05They're for Sir Giles.
07:07Oh, isn't that just like the English?
07:09Always crawling to the aristocracy.
07:11We're not going to crawl.
07:12We'll walk sedately and then curtsy.
07:14Yeah, I believe you're going to give him money as well,
07:16as if he didn't have enough already.
07:18You know, it was the likes of him that turned half of my family into potatoes.
07:21Oh, I wonder if he'll do some tricks this afternoon.
07:23Oh, the aristocracy's always up to tricks.
07:26It's their top hat, you know.
07:27Anyway, give us a look at all this money you're going to give him.
07:29Oh, we haven't got it.
07:30Cromwell's looking after it.
07:32Oh.
07:32Yeah.
07:32There's hundreds of pounds in his study.
07:33The safe's bulging.
07:35Oh, is that so?
07:37Hey, do you hear that, Flann?
07:38Yeah.
07:38We collected it all from...
07:39Oh, come on, Daisy.
07:39Look, they're starting to droop.
07:41Oh, that would never do.
07:42Oh, you can't droop in the face of the aristocracy, you know.
07:45Ooh, no.
07:45Here.
07:46I thought you paddies were packing up.
07:48Not fraternal lining with miners.
07:50Right.
07:50Miss Petting wants you to a mill.
07:52Well, Mr. Foller, we've finished on time, haven't we?
07:54One week late to the minute.
07:56And I shall be glad to see the back of you at all.
07:58Nice.
07:59Where's your oppo, then?
08:00Oh, yeah.
08:00Come on, Flann.
08:01They've gone.
08:02Right.
08:02Come on, the two of you.
08:03Out.
08:04You know, you're very rude, even for an Englishman.
08:06Careful.
08:07Oh, no, you don't.
08:08Why don't we?
08:09I'm protecting my job.
08:11Well, yeah.
08:11That's where you're going.
08:15Well done, Mr. Potter.
08:16That's one up to you.
08:18That's that.
08:19Ah, you're catching us up.
08:20You're catching us up, Mr. Potter.
08:23Oh, yes.
08:25Well, of course, I mean, it's quite easy when you think.
08:28Hey.
08:29Oh.
08:30Right.
08:31Well, chairs over there, and flowers over here.
08:36No.
08:37No, no, no.
08:38Uh, flowers over there, and chairs over here.
08:42Oh, right.
08:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:45No, curtsy.
08:47Curtsy.
08:50No, not you.
08:52The others.
08:56Now, that's something you don't see back home.
08:58With all due respects, ma'am.
09:00But don't you think it's a little too late you like to have the boys' courtesy in like that?
09:04Did you want something?
09:06No.
09:06Just you.
09:08Well, as a matter of fact, it's Flann here.
09:10He'd like to apologise on behalf of his plank.
09:13Go on, Flann.
09:20Yeah, well, I think he said his piece.
09:23Anyway, if there's anything we can do for you before we go, like...
09:26Well, as a matter of fact, there is.
09:29The banner needs to be hung.
09:31Oh, say no more.
09:32Oh, you carry on with your lessons.
09:33We'll have it hanging like a new pin.
09:36Grab the other end of that pant.
09:39Oh, I'm spinning.
09:42Oh, I don't believe it.
09:44It's a mirage.
09:45Here, listen.
09:45Come on, you two.
09:46I'm not telling you again.
09:47Oh, boy, Mr. Putnam.
09:48I don't want any more of your Irish waffles.
09:50Just pick up that dust sheet and go.
09:52That's not a dust sheet.
09:53I don't care what it is, sonny boy.
09:56Get it up and out, see?
09:58Right, Flann.
09:58Come on.
09:59Right, Flann.
09:59Come on.
10:05Come on.
10:07Come on.
10:08Come on.
10:09Come on.
10:10Come on.
10:11Right, here.
10:11Listen.
10:12Come here.
10:12Stop all that nonsense.
10:13Where's the banner?
10:15We're up with the paddies.
10:18Hey!
10:19Wait a minute.
10:20Come back.
10:20Who said you could go?
10:21Come on.
10:22Come on.
10:23Oh, you look wonderful, Morris.
10:25This could be your finest hour.
10:28One of them, Gloria.
10:29One of them.
10:30You be the king of the castle.
10:32The captain of the ship.
10:33The kitty in the middle.
10:35Oh, sorry.
10:38There.
10:40Doesn't that look nice?
10:42Oh, yes, it does, doesn't it?
10:44Yes, it does, yes.
10:45And now, Gloria, do you know,
10:46I should like to pay you a little compliment.
10:49Oh.
10:50Oh, yes, Morris.
10:50You have a rare talent for suppressing odors.
10:54Oh.
10:56Yes.
10:56The smell of paint in the hall
10:58has been completely overcome
10:59by your wonderful floral arrangements.
11:01Oh.
11:01Thank you, Morris.
11:02And then this speech you wrote me.
11:04Well, you know,
11:05Doris herself couldn't have done better.
11:06Perhaps it's too short.
11:08But that's for the best, isn't it?
11:09Yes.
11:10I mean, people lose interest
11:11if you ramble on, don't they, Morris?
11:14Morris.
11:16Shh, shh, shh.
11:17I'm trying to see three walls at once
11:19without moving my head.
11:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
11:28I've gone all dizzy.
11:29I must sit down.
11:30Headmaster!
11:31The last of the sponsors has paid up, Headmaster.
11:33This will make a grand total of £112.10p.
11:37The money will be all right in the safe, won't it, Headmaster?
11:39Oh, yes, yes.
11:40Safe in my safe.
11:42You will forgive the pun.
11:46But it's not locked.
11:47No, no, no.
11:47It doesn't lock.
11:49We got it cheap.
11:52You did say the money was in the safe, didn't you, Headmaster?
11:54Yes, yes.
11:55Safe in my safe.
11:56But it's not safe.
11:57It's gone.
11:57Look!
11:58But...
11:59Oh!
12:26It's ridiculous.
12:28I mean, nobody would steal a hundreden.
12:29Two pounds and tenpence from the old and infirm.
12:32Oh, hundreds would.
12:33They're all about so high and they wear fenstery badges.
12:36Oh!
12:36Remember, Mr. Price.
12:37Hi.
12:38Careless talk costs lives, you know.
12:40All these accusations, you know.
12:41Very dangerous.
12:42Mind you, if you, uh...
12:46If you ask me, you know, it all boils down to those Irish navvies.
12:50Oh, Godson.
12:51I thought they were quite pleasant people.
12:54You've obviously been charmed by their lilting brogues, haven't you, eh?
13:02I can't think why you had to call in the police, Doris.
13:05People will think we're harbouring a Judas.
13:07Perhaps we are, Headmaster.
13:08Let's wait and see who kisses the police, Inspector.
13:11That's...
13:12That's not what the police are for.
13:14No, no, they'll go quest-hunting all over the place,
13:16and you know what?
13:18Sir Giles will spot them.
13:20Well, I suppose Sir Giles has seen a policeman before.
13:22Ah, yes, but not here.
13:23He'll suspect something.
13:24And after all, it was only a harmless prank.
13:26Oh, I suppose that's why you gave the culprit 30 minutes to put it back.
13:30Yes, and I'm quite sure that no faith would be justified.
13:35Well, I was gonna give it back anyhow.
13:37I only nicked it to mess up the ceremony,
13:38and I still think that was a good idea.
13:40Well, seeing it doesn't, do you, Seal?
13:42No, you promised.
13:43I don't like men who break their promises.
13:46Come on, Terry.
13:47We've still got ten minutes left to get it back.
13:51Terry?
13:52Oh, all right.
13:53Here.
13:54It's in here.
13:55I'll wrap it up in a dust sheet and hit it in the corner of Potter's storeroom.
14:00Oh, bleeding hell!
14:02It's gone!
14:04I think this is the most despicable and mean trick I've ever come across.
14:08Well, it wasn't me, sir.
14:10I'm a policeman.
14:11I mean, it shouldn't be allowed.
14:13It isn't allowed, sir.
14:14That's why I'm here.
14:15But you mustn't let Sir Giles see you.
14:17Why not?
14:18I'm wearing my best suit.
14:19I still think the ceremony should be cancelled.
14:22Yes, I agree.
14:23We've questioned half the school already with no result.
14:26Ah, yes, but you'll find the money in the end.
14:28I've seen you do it on television.
14:29We shall do our best, sir.
14:32Anyway, I want to be clear by five.
14:34We're off home to curl up with a good Agatha Christie, are you?
14:37No, sir, no.
14:39Rehearsal night for the Divisional Operatic Society.
14:42Oh, what are you putting on this time?
14:43The Pirates of Penzance.
14:44Oh, a policeman's night is not a happy one.
14:48When a fellow's not...
14:49They seem to have something in common.
14:51Ah, they're both off their chumps.
14:53Inceptive, please.
14:55Yes, sir.
14:56Well, if you're not going to postpone the presentation, Mr. Cromwell,
15:00I'll return to your study and just carry on.
15:02Yes.
15:03When constabulary duties to be done...
15:06When you find the culprit, bring him to me.
15:08I'll paddle his backside myself.
15:10You may not have been a pupil, Mr. Smith.
15:13Aye, nobody is above suspicion.
15:15I mean, you might end up with Doris across your knee.
15:17Oh!
15:23Why do you start singing at his days?
15:26Psychological warfare, innit?
15:27Two more verses tonight and I'll have confessed to anything.
15:30Yeah, Terry, Terry.
15:33Well, did you tell him?
15:35No.
15:35Well, look, my dad's in the nick, innit?
15:37Give them half a chance, they'll nobble me and all.
15:39Oh, come on, Celia.
15:40My time and your beauty are being wasted here.
15:43What about tonight, then, Celia?
15:44That's still on, innit?
15:45Oh, yeah.
15:46I thought we could go down the casino and play the tables.
15:48Eh?
15:49Me?
15:49Play the tables?
15:50You're joking.
15:50Oh, I thought you were used to handling money.
15:53I hope you choke on your poppadums.
15:56This way, Sir Giles.
15:58I must say, you know, sir, it's not often that we have a sir in the school, you know.
16:02Enterprising burglars, not a burglar.
16:04Who's there?
16:04Not a burglar.
16:05Oh, that.
16:05Yes, sir.
16:06Well, now, that is a singing police.
16:07No, singing.
16:08Yes.
16:10After you.
16:10After you.
16:13Ah, flimmin'.
16:14Fuzz are everywhere.
16:15Fuzz.
16:17Fuzz.
16:17Ah, yes.
16:18Well, now, you see, it floats cross from the bedding factories on.
16:21Yes.
16:22That's why I'm a little thick today.
16:24You may have noticed that, sir.
16:25After you, sir, please.
16:26Yes, come along.
16:29Now, repeat after me.
16:30Maurice, I am in control.
16:33I am in control.
16:34I am in control.
16:35I am in control.
16:35It's no use, Miss Pettings.
16:37Even if he manages to convince himself, he'll never fool anyone else.
16:42Most of the kids are here now, Dory. Shall we go?
16:44No, no, no, no, no, no.
16:45My staff must be here with me.
16:48Your staff are too busy trying to get you out of this mess, Ed Master.
16:51Well, I'll be here to keep them calm.
16:54I know.
16:55Let's see who can hold their breath longest.
16:57One, two, three.
16:59Sir Charles is here now.
17:01Oh, that's good.
17:02Now, remember, Maurice, you must stall him.
17:04Give us time to organise something.
17:05You can rely on me.
17:07He's very good at holding people up.
17:09That's right, sir.
17:10Now, this way, Your Highness.
17:12Oh.
17:14We're all looking forward so much to this visit at all, sir.
17:17Now, my steps, please, sir.
17:18Now, are you careful now?
17:20Damn it, man. I'm not an invalid.
17:21Ah.
17:22Now, it's funny you should mention that, sir.
17:23Because I am, you know.
17:24Oh, yes.
17:24It was the war, you know.
17:26The shrapnel.
17:27In the leg, you see.
17:32They're very appreciative, aren't they?
17:35That'll be all, you buffoon.
17:37Oh, buffoon.
17:38Yeah, you flatter me, sir.
17:40Thank you, sir.
17:42Mr. Cromwell.
17:43Yes.
17:44Oh, no.
17:44It's him.
17:46Sorry.
17:47Well, are we ready to start?
17:49Yes.
17:49No.
17:50No.
17:51Sorry.
17:52Well, when you've finished apologising, may I point out I have another engagement at
17:56five o'clock?
17:56Oh, not you too.
17:57A policeman's lot is not a happy one.
18:00Happy.
18:02Would you prepare for a glass of water whilst we wait?
18:05Thank you very much.
18:06Waiting for what?
18:07For the presentation to start.
18:09But we are the presentation.
18:10But we haven't started yet, have we?
18:12No.
18:13We haven't.
18:14Well, what's the delay?
18:15Well, he's forgotten his speech.
18:17Well, he's forgotten his speech.
18:17What are staff speeches to do with it?
18:19Now, come on, man.
18:20I'll make my speech, you give me the money, and then we'll be off.
18:25He's very strange, isn't he?
18:27Well, they have to be to keep their title.
18:32Now, children, we've got someone here that you're all dying to meet, aren't you?
18:37Now!
18:38Yes, you are.
18:38He's come all the way from, er, er, to, er, to receive, er, er, Sir Giles Hardwick.
18:53Now, as you all know, I'm here today to take away all your money.
18:59APPLAUSE
19:02Ridiculous, Monsieur.
19:03We'll never make up another hundred pounds.
19:06Well, we've got to hand over some things.
19:07Well, I suggest the headmaster.
19:09That's fifteen pounds, plus the ten that wasn't stolen.
19:13Oh, and a commemorative medal from the 1948 Ice Stedford.
19:17Worthless, Mr Price.
19:19Worthless?
19:20That's your passport to the fleshpots of Flangartland.
19:24Well, anyway, I mean, I am supplying the container.
19:28There.
19:29Come along, Price. Pay up.
19:31We've all had to.
19:32I've just had my last aniseed ball for a whole year.
19:36Well, I can't afford it.
19:38I mean, look at this jacket.
19:39It's falling apart at the seams.
19:41And look at this pocket.
19:42It's all ripped.
19:43Look, Doris.
19:43Look, look.
19:44Before you actually launch into hearts and flowers, may I remind you, Mr Price,
19:48that the prestige of the whole school is at stake.
19:51And it will stop the headmaster looking very silly.
19:53Hey, that's impossible.
19:55Oh, all right.
19:57Oh, look, Doris.
20:00No, Inspector.
20:01I think it's more...
20:021, 2, 3.
20:041, 2, 3.
20:061, 2, 3.
20:071, 2, 3.
20:07Slap.
20:08Oh, all right.
20:10And...
20:111, 2, 3.
20:121, 2, 3.
20:131, 2, 3.
20:151, 2, 3.
20:15Slap.
20:16And...
20:171, 2, 3.
20:181, 2, 3.
20:191, 2, 3.
20:191, 2, 3.
20:21Slap.
20:22And...
20:22No wonder you haven't caught anybody.
20:26Prancing about like Gene Kelly and her husband.
20:30Shall I hook him for insulting behaviour, sir?
20:32Look, they should have left this to me alone.
20:35Born a nest of pot.
20:36Army intelligence, you know.
20:38Oh, yes.
20:39Oh, yes, when anything got lost in the desert,
20:42it was always me they chose to go looking for it.
20:45Yes, I can well believe that.
20:47You know, we do know what we're about.
20:49Stops, we've interviewed over 600 kids today.
20:52Kids? You're barking up the wrong horse there, aren't you?
20:56I mean, it's all these Irish navvies that you should be after, you know,
20:59going around, breaking windows all over the place.
21:01Oh, that's all right. We're pursuing that matter, eh, Constable?
21:04What? Oh, yes, Inspector, yes, sir, we are.
21:07Yes, don't you worry, Mr. Potter. We'll find them soon enough.
21:11Oh, they all are.
21:13It's them. Get a risk, these men.
21:16You're a very bad loser, Mr. Potter.
21:18I came about this.
21:19Ah, just as I thought. See, he's come to hand himself in.
21:22No, not meself, just a tin.
21:24Oh, I found her in some old dust sheets.
21:26Oh, unlikely so.
21:28Aye, it was hidden in his storeroom.
21:31Ah, well, just as I thought.
21:35Eh?
21:36Ah, now, wait a minute. Hang on.
21:37No, no, no. I mean, it couldn't have been me, could it?
21:39I mean, I had another boy, didn't I?
21:41I mean, I was prancing by him in front of him,
21:43protecting my windows. I mean, it wasn't my fault, was it?
21:46Pardon?
21:46No, no, of course not.
21:48You see, I mean, it was the kids.
21:49It was all those panks, you know.
21:50Have you counted that?
21:51Oh, no, we haven't touched it. It's still all there.
21:53£102, 10 new pence to the letter.
21:56Just a moment, just a moment.
22:01There's an unbog missing, Inspector.
22:03Oh, you noticed.
22:05Well, eh, I suppose I'd better come clean.
22:07As a matter of fact, it was Flann here.
22:09He ate it.
22:09Well, I stopped him from eating the money.
22:12Sir Giles, Miss Petting.
22:15Children, I would like to make a short speech.
22:18You've already done it.
22:19Twice.
22:20Mr. Cromwell, the money, please.
22:22Yes.
22:23No.
22:23No.
22:24No.
22:25No, there is just one point I would like to make before that.
22:30Now, I, you, great bustards.
22:36No, no, no.
22:36There's a great human to learn from bustards,
22:38and indeed from all our feathered friends.
22:40We so often see them...
22:42Hopping about and chirping?
22:44Quite, quite, quite, quite.
22:45And how clever we may be,
22:48can we hop about chirping and twittering?
22:52You mean, apart from yourself.
22:54And so I feel...
22:55Oh, hello, Potter.
22:57Yes, and I think...
22:58Oh!
22:59Oh!
23:00Yes.
23:01And that little digression on the subject of the great bustard
23:04leads me very neatly to the money about time.
23:09Sir Giles, it gives me great pleasure...
23:11And me!
23:12...to present to you...
23:15From Fen Street,
23:17their contribution to the
23:18Keep the Old People Happy Walk.
23:22Please.
23:25Oh, honey, honey.
23:27Oh, a late contribution, anonymous.
23:29Oh, dear, how selfless some people are.
23:32And so, Fen Street will now make
23:34not one fine contribution,
23:36but two.
23:39Two?
23:40Arloid, maud.
23:42Two?
23:45Ah, this way, Sir Giles.
23:47That's the idea, sir.
23:48Mind the bowler hat, sir.
23:50That's it.
23:50In we go.
23:51There you go, sir.
23:52Well, farewell, Sir Giles.
23:53Farewell.
23:55May I just say, sir,
23:57what a privilege and a pleasure it has been serving you, sir.
23:59I can always tell you all,
24:00I'm a member of the aristocracy, sir.
24:02Then why did we let him get away with both lots?
24:04I could have brought him down with a rugby tackle.
24:06A very dignified end to the presentation, Mr. Price.
24:09No, we really couldn't ask for it back.
24:11No, we was just content ourselves with the fact
24:14that it's all gone to a very worthy call.
24:17Here, here.
24:17Don't be too sure of that, Smithy.
24:19We've been conned.
24:21Conned?
24:21What do you mean?
24:22I am Sir Giles Hardwick.
24:24Oh.
24:25Oh.
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