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10:17Il prend trois jours de votre vie minimum.
10:19C'est un pain dans le ass.
10:21Et les courtoons sont plus et smelly.
10:25Ok, donc, un bon raison.
10:26Ok.
10:27Je vais juste prendre un autre pique.
10:29All right.
10:31Ok, c'est à l'heure une personne dans la lumière.
10:34Il y a la lamp.
10:35Pou !
10:35C'est bon, c'est bon.
10:37J'ai une bonne santé.
10:37Encore une bonne santé.
10:39Merci.
10:40Et, je ne vais pas avoir un pire sur vous,
10:42qui avec la lamp,
10:43je parle pour tout le monde à Everybody's Live
10:46quand je disais,
10:47«Nocque ça va ! »
10:49Ok.
10:50On a fait des...
10:54Et c'est comme ça.
10:55Et c'est bon.
10:57Et c'est bon.
10:57Nous avons fait le monologue
10:58et les birthdays en Telescope.
11:00All right.
11:01On a reprisons, les gens arrivent.
11:03Let's...
11:03Let's get into it.
11:09Let's get into it.
11:10Les gens qui ont vu le show
11:12J'espère que l'année dernière, je vous remercie que chaque show,
11:14nous avons choisi un topic que j'étais très intéressé en
11:17pour parler avec mon panel de guests.
11:18Et ça aide, parce que je n'ai pas préparé pour les interviews.
11:22Nous faisons ça encore.
11:24Et nous avons pensé un peu à l'heure depuis quelques mois.
11:26Et le topic que nous avons choisi pour notre première épisode
11:28est « Lending People Money ».
11:31All night long...
11:32Oui.
11:35C'est un hot topic.
11:36C'est un hot topic.
11:37All night long, nous allons prendre des calls
11:39de loaning people money, the number is up on your screen,
11:43and we want to hear from you.
11:44There's the number right there.
11:45Please call us with your stories, questions,
11:48or needs for advice concerning lending and borrowing money.
11:51Richard, have you ever lent a friend money, and why not?
11:55I actually have.
11:57I've lent a few.
11:58Really?
11:59With lending money, I don't buy people's meal.
12:02I don't pick up tabs.
12:03You don't buy people's meal?
12:04No, I don't.
12:05I don't when I go out to a restaurant.
12:06I like to be taken to restaurants,
12:07but I'll give you whatever money you need.
12:10If I have it, it's yours.
12:12You'll give me any amount of money,
12:13but taking me to a Thai restaurant out of the question.
12:16I'm sorry.
12:17I have my standards.
12:19What's the biggest amount you've ever lent, you think?
12:22Ten thousand dollars.
12:23Did you get it back?
12:24Yes, I did.
12:24You did?
12:25Three times.
12:26You got 30 grand back?
12:27No, to three different people.
12:29You lent 10 grand to three different people,
12:31and all three paid you back?
12:32Yes, they did.
12:33That's like a fairy tale.
12:34And all of them took me out to dinner.
12:37Oh, wow.
12:38Yeah.
12:38Well, eventually.
12:40The trifecta of what Richard Kind wants.
12:43Three free dinners.
12:44That's right.
12:45But it's a nice thing.
12:46It's a very nice thing.
12:47I had no doubts that they would bring me back.
12:48Oh, really?
12:49Yeah, they're good people.
12:49You trusted them as people?
12:51As people, I did.
12:52Yeah.
12:53Yeah, they were nice.
12:54What kind of restaurants did you go to?
12:56Oh, I have no idea.
12:57It's been years.
12:58Okay, listen.
12:58Find out and let us know as soon as you know.
13:02To discuss this urgent matter,
13:04I would like to welcome my first guests.
13:05You know him from Being Michael Keaton,
13:08and she is the personal finance columnist
13:11for the San Francisco Chronicle.
13:12It's Michael Keaton and Jessica Roy.
13:27Michael Keaton and Jessica Roy, everybody.
13:34What an honor to have you here.
13:36Jessica, what a pleasure to meet you.
13:37I'm so flattered you both came on our first episode of the season.
13:41Thanks for having me.
13:41Oh, I really...
13:42You're welcome.
13:43That's Rich.
13:44Hi, Rich.
13:45I know Rich.
13:46And by the way, I paid that 10 grand back within the week.
13:49Yes, you did.
13:50And it was a good sandwich to boot that you paid me back.
13:53Yeah.
13:53Thank you.
13:54Beautiful.
13:55A big hero for Richard.
13:56I did take him.
13:57I took him to dinner where you had to kill, slaughter,
14:00and smoke your own meat.
14:01Really?
14:02Yes.
14:02And how did he do at it?
14:03He was very good at it.
14:04Do you like kibachi?
14:06Do you like Benihana?
14:07I was just at Benihana.
14:08When?
14:09Uh, about a week ago, because...
14:12You were at Benihana a week ago?
14:13Yeah, because...
14:13And I think I was at a Benihana once before.
14:17I can't remember.
14:19Or it might have been Sammy Hanna.
14:20It was one of those guys.
14:22No, it was either...
14:23It was...
14:24It was, uh...
14:25We took the grandkids there.
14:27Oh, nice.
14:28Yeah, they love it.
14:29Oh, kids love it.
14:30But, you know, we've ever been to one?
14:32Yeah, many times.
14:33Okay, so I think people are over it,
14:35because this guy was great, you know,
14:37doing all the things.
14:37And no one was paying attention but me.
14:39Really?
14:40Yes.
14:40Like, kids liked it?
14:41Yeah, the kids, but only some were paying attention.
14:44Really?
14:45Yeah.
14:45How old was the oldest kid?
14:47Uh, 47.
14:49No, he was...
14:50No, six.
14:52Really?
14:52And he was kind of into it for me.
14:54He was locked in for me, you know,
14:55me being the annoying person that I am.
14:57Yeah.
14:57Kept going, hey, look.
14:58Look what he's doing.
14:59That's probably what hibachi grill artists hate the most,
15:01is someone going, hey, look.
15:03Yeah, yeah.
15:05Michael, when you were, uh, when you were, uh,
15:07you became very successful very young, uh,
15:10as a stand-up comedian, then as an actor.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Did your friends and your cohort of fellow people
15:16in the performing arts hit you up for money?
15:18Uh, not really.
15:20Uh, no, no, actually not really.
15:22I mean, I have obviously given people money
15:25and never saw it again, but that's not that unusual.
15:28You weren't paid back?
15:29Well, a couple times, but it was never a big deal.
15:31Was it family, friends?
15:33Um, let me think.
15:34Uh, yeah.
15:35And it's uncomfortable.
15:36Oh, of course.
15:37Yeah, it's really uncomfortable.
15:39Jessica Roy, small loans between friends and family
15:41must be an enormous source of stress for, uh,
15:44for interpersonal dynamics.
15:46Yeah, I think so.
15:47I mean, I think it can totally change the relationship
15:49if you don't get paid back.
15:51Is it, though, should you even go in with the mindset
15:53that you're gonna be paid back?
15:55I don't think so.
15:56I would say, like, any money you're gonna loan to somebody,
15:58you just have to be kind of psychologically detached from it
16:01and think of it like they can think of it as a loan,
16:04but, like, it's a gift and I'm not gonna get it back.
16:06And if you do get it back, amazing.
16:07I think kids grow up, especially in America,
16:09with these fairytale stories of Richard Kind
16:11getting 30 grand back from three different people
16:13and getting three free meals.
16:15And it's a delusion that I think we can dispel.
16:18Let's get to our first call.
16:19Here comes Samo, by the way.
16:26Jessica, Michael, those of you that don't know,
16:29this is our Samo robot.
16:31He's a Serv Robotics delivery cart robot
16:33and we're so happy that he's back on the show.
16:36In the past few months, Samo was hit by a car
16:40and this is a photo of Samo's son, Michael,
16:42who just graduated from the Air Force Academy
16:44and we're all very, very proud of Michael.
16:46I know you and Elise are too.
16:50Let's get to our first caller and I am,
16:52yes, the disclaimer, I'm sorry, Ashley.
16:54I have to make a disclaimer that we are not,
16:56we can't give any financial advice of any kind,
16:59is that right?
17:00Or they shouldn't listen to us.
17:02Okay, but you should listen to me, I got great stuff.
17:04Okay, let's go to Dylan in Montville, New Jersey.
17:08Dylan, you're on Everybody's Live with Michael Keaton,
17:10Jessica Roy, Samo the Robot and Richard Kind.
17:14Hey John, how are you doing?
17:15I'm doing pretty good, how are you doing?
17:17I'm doing pretty good, I could really use your advice.
17:20Absolutely.
17:20So, my brother gave me a $20,000 loan to go to law school.
17:26But instead of going to law school,
17:28I used that to buy a car.
17:30And I raced that car for about a year,
17:32didn't go to law school, ended up crashing the car,
17:35sold it for scrap metal for about 1200 bucks.
17:38And I like, need advice, like, what do I tell my brother?
17:42Does your brother think you're in law school?
17:46Yes.
17:48Could you still go to law school?
17:50Oh, that's a good question.
17:51Yeah.
17:52I would really love to, but it's just really expensive.
17:56Yeah, some people even take out loans.
18:00You bought a $20,000 car and crashed it,
18:04and you sold it for scrap metal,
18:05you only have 1200 bucks at present?
18:08A little bit less, because I had to buy some van
18:11for like 500 bucks.
18:12You had to buy some what?
18:14Van, a car.
18:16Oh, you bought a van for 500 bucks,
18:17so you have a van.
18:18Yeah.
18:19Jessica, what should he do?
18:20This sounds like a pretty serious transgression.
18:22I noticed you didn't ask me, by the way.
18:24Well, we'll start with Jessica and then we'll get to you.
18:27No, no, no, you don't want to ask me.
18:30Um, well, you've got a van, you could drive for Uber,
18:32so you can make a little money that way.
18:34I would talk to your brother and come up with like
18:36a good faith repayment plan of however much you can commit to
18:41and start making those payments and start thinking about
18:44how you're going to fess up about the law school thing.
18:47Yeah, I think tearing that band-aid is the harder part
18:49than even the repayments.
18:50I mean, he seems like a pretty wily guy.
18:52He'd be able to eventually get some money together.
18:54Yeah, and he could live in the van.
18:55He could live in the van.
18:57Have you thought about living in the van?
18:59Uh, unfortunately, yes, I have.
19:01Okay. Well, Dylan, if you've ever seen this show,
19:04I normally end calls by asking people what kind of car they drive,
19:07but we already know.
19:10Um, good luck and it's always, you know, come clean.
19:13He's your brother and life is long and we wish you well
19:16and we hope you get that law degree.
19:19Um, let's go to Helen in Vancouver, Canada.
19:23Hi, Helen, it's John Mulaney.
19:25You're on Everybody's Live with Michael Keaton,
19:26with Jessica Roy and Richard Kind.
19:29How are you?
19:30I'm great, thank you.
19:31Uh, I appreciate in advance your advice.
19:35How, Richard, do you get people to pay you back the money you've lent me?
19:40Because perhaps I'm asking myself as a very easy mark on international television,
19:44but I've lent a friend similar amounts of money and I'm too much of a chicken to ask for it
19:50back.
19:51And being British, I also can't just say what I'm thinking.
19:54I have to just mind beam it very pointedly.
19:57Helen, how much did you lend and what was it for?
20:01Uh, it was for them to do a, uh, they wanted to, uh, make a particular creative project
20:07they've been trying to make for years.
20:08A creative project?
20:10And, yeah, and, uh, they have not made it, but now...
20:13What was it, I'm sorry to cut you off, Helen, but what was the creative project?
20:16Oh, John, I mean, now I'm gonna sound more like a fool because it was a podcast,
20:20but this was a few years ago.
20:21It was a podcast?
20:22When there was some credibility.
20:23Yeah.
20:24A $10,000 podcast?
20:25They needed $10,000 for a podcast?
20:29Yeah.
20:29Oh, do you want to get into podcast economics?
20:31I don't think you do.
20:33Uh, I, I, I'll get into the fake ones that your friend told you about.
20:37It's like two dipshits with a voice memo, a podcast.
20:41That's a good idea.
20:42Maybe I could suggest that in the past.
20:44Uh, I, um, um, um, I didn't hear the last thing you said, but Rich, you got paid back.
20:49I think the first thing is pick good investments, I guess.
20:53Yeah.
20:53Pick your friends wisely.
20:54I didn't say I did lend somebody $10,000 and I have not been paid back, but it was for
21:01a friend of mine,
21:03her church, and I will never ask for that money back.
21:06I sort of knew that I was, what I was doing, but I think you gotta invest wisely.
21:13Yeah, she did not.
21:14Helen did not.
21:15She, a podcast that cost $10,000.
21:16What's the podcast about, Helen?
21:18It was about art.
21:20It was about art?
21:21Oh, you really made a mistake.
21:23Yeah, you really made a mistake.
21:25Richard giving money away to God makes, there's a much better return chance.
21:29Two of my three friends can buy and sell me six ways from Sunday right now.
21:33They can?
21:34Yes, they can.
21:34Oh, that's always fun.
21:35Yeah, it's nice.
21:36Uh, let's take another call and, uh, Michael, I, I'd like you to weigh in on this one.
21:41Sure, sure.
21:41Uh, this is Fareed in Redondo Beach, California.
21:44Yep, right here.
21:45Hi, it's John Mullaney, you're on Everybody's Live.
21:47What, what is your experience or story with lending or borrowing money?
21:51Uh, so I, two years ago, I borrowed a little bit of money from my parents to start a business
21:59and move here from Vancouver, Canada, actually, to, uh, L.A.
22:04How much, Michael asked?
22:06Yeah, how much?
22:08Uh, 20 grand.
22:09Okay, boy, that's 10 grand each parent, I guess.
22:13Yeah.
22:14What kind of business were you starting?
22:16Um, I have, uh, like a personal training studio.
22:20Okay.
22:21Yeah.
22:22And, uh, I also needed some money.
22:24When I moved here, I wasn't able to work.
22:26It took me about six, seven months to get my work permit.
22:29Right.
22:30But I just needed some money to survive as well.
22:32Well, do you feel you owe your parents the money, Fareed?
22:35I'm paying it back, but, so, so here's the thing.
22:38I'm not asking for financial advice.
22:40I guess I'm just asking for advice, advice, because that transaction changed my relationship
22:48with my mom.
22:49Yeah.
22:50It became really weird.
22:51Initially, she was super stoked.
22:53She was like, yeah, I'll lend you the money.
22:55I'll help you build a business.
22:57And then when she gave me the money, literally, like, this following night, she was like,
23:02we need to sit down and write a contract and make sure you pay me back on this.
23:07Everything changed.
23:08Yeah, everything.
23:09Money changed everything.
23:09Everything changed.
23:10Absolutely.
23:11Yeah.
23:12By the way, um.
23:13Oh, sorry, go ahead.
23:15No, go ahead.
23:15The contract might not be a bad idea, though.
23:17What do you think?
23:18Well, that's, that's, I think it would make the boundaries clear and there might be less
23:22hurt feelings, but Jessica, what have you seen?
23:24I totally agree.
23:25I think setting up that contract upfront, I'm, I know it does change the relationship,
23:29because that's your mom and you're not used to like signing stuff with her.
23:33But I, I think that was kind of a favor that she did you.
23:35Then you're not like, every time you talk, kind of wondering if you should bring it up or
23:40not.
23:40Like, I would take that as a kindness that she set up those boundaries for you
23:43and established how you should pay her back.
23:45Yeah.
23:46What do you think?
23:46Very true.
23:47However.
23:48However.
23:49However.
23:50Before the transaction, um, she said it was a gift.
23:53She's like, oh, don't worry about it.
23:54I'm not gonna.
23:55Yeah.
23:56Don't worry about it.
23:56It's on me.
23:57Wait, she said it was a gift.
23:58Yeah.
23:59And then gave it to you and said, we need to draw up a contract?
24:02Yeah.
24:02Yeah.
24:03Wow.
24:03Have you thought about training your mother?
24:09Yeah, I'm in the process of that.
24:11Oh, really?
24:11She gets free sessions?
24:13Yeah.
24:13She, she gets free sessions.
24:15She pretty good, pretty good shape?
24:17She's working on it.
24:18Well, there you go.
24:19All right.
24:20So how many, how many days a week does she train?
24:23One.
24:24One?
24:25Okay.
24:25Yeah.
24:25Total body.
24:26Do you like do like a, is it a leg day?
24:31So I actually do something very different.
24:33It's kind of like a full body workout, but I use computers.
24:36It's called EMS training.
24:37So we plug you into a device.
24:39What?
24:39You do like a 20 minute workout.
24:41Oh man.
24:41Your body goes through like hours of working out.
24:43Yeah.
24:43I don't think I'd have given you the 20 grand on that.
24:45Yeah.
24:46I can see why the contract came into it as soon as you tried to
24:49plug her in for a USB cable.
24:51What kind of car do you drive, Fareed?
24:54Say it again?
24:55What kind of car do you drive?
24:57I have a Jeep.
24:58A Jeep what year?
25:00Uh, 2017.
25:02Oh, kick ass, man.
25:03Okay.
25:03Talk to you later.
25:04Thank you to our first couple callers.
25:07We will be back with Jessica and Michael after this message.
25:13The last time I got mad at someone?
25:14Um, my fiance, he's just, he's a fiance.
25:18He's been complaining about money, but he's the one that's spending it.
25:26I just keep getting pictures of boats.
25:30He's been wanting to buy a new boat, but he has a perfectly fine one on the carport.
25:35I'm like, we don't need it, you know, we have one that works perfectly fine.
25:39We were just on it last weekend, so there's not a problem with it.
25:42But he doesn't really listen.
25:44Why not?
25:45Uh, cause he's a man.
25:56Welcome back to Everybody's Live.
25:58I'm here with Michael Keaton and personal finance columnist from the San Francisco Chronicle,
26:02Jessica Roy.
26:03But the panel is about to get twice as cool.
26:06My next guests are a dear friend and a artist and folk music icon.
26:11Please welcome to Everybody's Live, Fred Armisen and Joan Baez.
26:22How are you doing?
26:35How do I sit?
26:38Merci.
26:39Oui, c'est parti.
26:40OK, merci beaucoup pour rejoindre notre panel et notre discussion.
26:44Joan Baez, c'est un honneur d'avoir vous sur ce show.
26:46Vous dites ça dans 10 minutes.
26:48Je pense que vous allez être génial à ce sujet.
26:52Je voulais vous demander, vous parlez de l'argent et de l'expectation pour l'argent.
26:59Quand vous jouez dans la marche sur Washington,
27:01je pense que 250,000 personnes...
27:04Did I get paid?
27:05Do you ever think about what would have happened if you'd charged all those people?
27:09I was going to say...
27:12You clearly had.
27:15I watched that footage and I just count heads and imagine even a nickel each.
27:19I know.
27:20It would be a much different story.
27:23You've probably done many, many free concerts
27:26for all the causes that you've worked very hard for.
27:28Yes.
27:29Are there any that you look back on and you go, that cause wasn't that good?
27:34Actually, very few.
27:36Is there just the odd animal that you're not, that psyched you saved?
27:39That's correct.
27:41No, the animals are all cool with.
27:43With some of the people.
27:45Oh yeah.
27:46Eventually.
27:47Eventually you don't want to, you want to revoke concerts for certain people.
27:52You've played, you've had such an incredible career.
27:56I wanted to ask you something that I've heard you mention in the past,
28:00but I was wondering if I could dig into it for a second.
28:02I've heard you say that you were fortunate enough to know Dr. Martin Luther King
28:07and that he was a funny person.
28:10He was.
28:11And I was curious like what his sense of humor was like as far as you remember.
28:16Yeah.
28:17First, I have this set of contexts that I'm here in.
28:20Um, you said you could say anything I want out here.
28:23Oh yeah.
28:24A hundred percent.
28:24Okay.
28:24So that we're all here to be silly and have fun.
28:29And as long as we recognize the fact that our democracy is going up in flames and we're
28:35about to, for being run by a bunch of really incompetent billionaires.
28:48That being said, ask me, ask you anything you want.
28:52Um, what was Martin Luther King's sense of humor like?
28:55And thank you for saying that.
28:56And Joan, thank you for saying that.
28:58And please anyone say whatever you want on the show.
29:00Thank you.
29:00So Dr. King was sort of like me.
29:03He had the image of always being serious.
29:05Never had a sense of humor.
29:07And he did.
29:08And, uh, there are lots of stories.
29:10But my favorite one is really when, um, I was asked to go and pick him up.
29:15We were at a conference in South Carolina.
29:18We'd go and pick him up at the airport with all of his, you know, lieutenants and his co-workers.
29:24And I was so excited, you know, because they were going to have a march planned for two days later.
29:30I thought, I am going to get the inside story on how these guys do these marches and civil disobedience.
29:36And so he drove out to pick him up.
29:38There were probably four other people.
29:40They were all like Jesse Jackson and, um, folks that you would associate with him.
29:45And they picked up Dr. King.
29:46And we drove, um, maybe an hour back to where we were going.
29:52And I thought, here it comes.
29:53I'm going to hear this stuff.
29:55And they all started telling dirty jokes.
29:56I'm not supposed to say that, but they did.
29:59I mean, from the airport to his favorite little restaurant, um, where he ate, they ate.
30:07Got back in the car, went back to the conference.
30:09More jokes.
30:11Okay.
30:12So later on, I asked Andy Young, one of his folks, I said, I thought we were going to,
30:17I thought I was going to hear the inside story on how you guys plan a march.
30:21He said, you just did.
30:24Do you remember any jokes specifically that King told me?
30:28I do and I can't tell them here.
30:30Okay.
30:31Fantastic.
30:32Um, in the early 60s, for your cohort, you achieved a level of popularity pretty quickly.
30:39Is that fair to say?
30:40That's very fair to say.
30:42Did, um, in the folk music community, uh, did you all support each other financially?
30:47Was there a lot of like couch sharing?
30:49Was there a lot of...
30:50There was couch sharing.
30:51I don't know.
30:51They're supporting each other.
30:53Oh, really?
30:54You didn't, did any, um, other folkies hit you up for money once you were on television
30:58a lot and releasing albums?
31:00Gosh, you know, I didn't lend money.
31:03I just mostly gave it away.
31:05Yeah.
31:05You know, that's easier than trying to get it back.
31:08Yeah.
31:09Generationally, Jessica, how does Gen Z, uh, uh, deal with lending money, uh, compared
31:15to like my generation, Joan's generation?
31:19I think younger people are a lot more open about talking about money.
31:22I think for people who are boomer generation, Gen X, it's more like that's a private matter.
31:28That's something you don't really talk about.
31:29And I think younger people, millennials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha are just a lot more open about
31:33that stuff.
31:34They're more likely to share their salaries with their coworkers.
31:37They are?
31:38Yeah.
31:38Oh, wow.
31:40That's very, that's shocking to share your salary with a coworker.
31:43You know, Jack Nicholson, pardon me, Jack Nicholson used to have this expression.
31:47I think I can, he'll be cold with me saying this.
31:50Yeah.
31:50He's watching for sure.
31:51He was like, well, you may be.
31:55Uh, and, and he said, you know, uh, I don't know how the subject came up, but it was about
32:00this, you know, and he's an extremely generous guy, not to make a big deal about it, but has
32:05been very, very generous.
32:07Uh, and he said, uh, Keats, uh, he says, I'd do the $500 junkie buyout.
32:14Cause he had like titles for everything.
32:16And I said, okay, Jack, what's the $500?
32:19He said, when people, people want me to, to loan the money and they say, I'll pay it back,
32:24man.
32:24I'll pay it back.
32:25I'll pay it back for sure.
32:26He says, you don't have to pay me back.
32:27I don't want you to pay me back.
32:28I give him money.
32:30At the time, 500 bucks was a fair amount of money.
32:32I give him 500 bucks and said, no man, keep it.
32:34You don't have to.
32:35And then the next, and then next time the guy thinks twice about hitting you up for some,
32:40some bread, you know what I mean?
32:41He goes, geez, I hit him up one time.
32:42I don't know if I'm really going to ask him again.
32:44Oh.
32:45Yeah.
32:45He said yes the first time.
32:47Yeah.
32:47So he's got that in the favor.
32:48Yeah.
32:49You don't, you don't give anybody money.
32:50You just give people money.
32:51You don't, you don't loan them anything.
32:53That's very interesting.
32:54Fred, in the punk band days that you started in, Long Island punk scene.
33:00Is that fair to call it that?
33:02Sure.
33:04Did, did you guys, as you, as your career progressed, did people ask to borrow money from you?
33:09Yeah.
33:10I mean, after the band days.
33:11Yeah.
33:13Definitely.
33:13And it's the same kind of thing.
33:14It was just easier just to give someone money and just say, don't worry about it.
33:18Yeah.
33:19I just don't want to think about it.
33:20But in the early days, we all had zero dollars.
33:23Were you ever in significant debt?
33:25No.
33:26Jessica?
33:28I was.
33:29I ran up a ton of very stupid credit card debt in my 20s.
33:33Oh.
33:34And then I...
33:34This was before you were a personal finance columnist?
33:38Yeah.
33:39Definitely.
33:39I was not somebody who started out being good at money.
33:43I was somebody who...
33:45I didn't.
33:47Yeah.
33:47I didn't feel like I lived all that extravagantly.
33:50I...
33:50My husband and I drove, like, sensible used cars.
33:53Oh, what kind of cars did you drive?
33:56A 2011 Nissan Sentra that I still drive.
33:58Good.
33:58Thank you.
33:59Good car.
34:00And at the time, a 2007 Prius.
34:02I was gonna ask Joan what kind of car she drives.
34:04And wouldn't it be awesome if it was a Tesla?
34:07Like...
34:08I think...
34:08I think you drive a Cybertruck for sure.
34:10Hang on.
34:12My...
34:12One of my assistants said to me at some point,
34:15you know, you really need a nice car.
34:18And I, you know, I had, what, a Honda or something,
34:20and I was fine.
34:20She said, no, no, I mean, a really nice car.
34:23I said, well, like what?
34:24She said, oh, a Tesla, for instance.
34:27Yeah.
34:27So, of course, the for instance, that's where I went first.
34:31I hated that thing.
34:33But I thought I was supposed to like it.
34:35Yeah.
34:36So I drove off in it.
34:37Within 45 minutes, I'd smash it into an oak tree
34:40on my property.
34:41Oh, my God.
34:41You smashed it into an oak tree on your property?
34:43Banked on my property.
34:44Purposely?
34:44No.
34:46Somebody here, yeah.
34:47Because I was thinking, that's a sign.
34:49Right.
34:49And it was.
34:50And the next sign was the same.
34:52With $7,000 worth, like, two months down the road.
34:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:55So by the third one, I decided, okay,
34:57it's time to get rid of this thing.
34:58I hated it.
35:00Yeah, yeah.
35:00I just, it was too big.
35:02And I was so busy thinking I was supposed to be enjoying it.
35:05Yeah, it's one of those things people tell you to enjoy,
35:07but then it's probably like that guy's workout thing.
35:09You're just hooked up to a computer, really.
35:12Not feeling connected to anybody.
35:14But I did sell it.
35:15I sold it and got one half the amount of money.
35:18You really walked the walk, though.
35:19You're not just talking about these billionaires.
35:21You're smashing their cars.
35:22Yeah.
35:28You know, let's go to a call.
35:33You guys good to go to a call?
35:35Yeah.
35:35We're going to Mike in Portland, line six.
35:38Hi, Mike.
35:39It's John Mulaney.
35:40You're on Everybody's Live.
35:41Hi, John.
35:42You know, I was calling in because I just wanted to tell a story.
35:46I rented this room.
35:48It was like a sublet.
35:50And it was just like a couple months into it, though,
35:54my roommate got in a fight with our landlord.
35:57And that led to our hot water getting turned off.
36:00Oh.
36:01And then he got in a physical fight with the landlord, and we got evicted.
36:07Ooh.
36:07So as we were moving out, he gave me my deposit check back.
36:12But it didn't, of course, bounce and super traumatized me about money after that.
36:20So you've never gotten the deposit money back?
36:22Is that what you're saying, Mike?
36:23No, I never got the deposit money back.
36:25The guy disappeared.
36:28He stopped answering his phone.
36:30And yeah, I was out of luck.
36:31How long did you know him before you moved into the place with him?
36:34I did not.
36:35It was like Internet's Craigslist rental.
36:39Oh, so you meet a guy.
36:41You loan him the deposit money.
36:43He starts a verbal fight with the landlord.
36:46He starts a physical fight with the landlord.
36:48You're kicked out.
36:49And you've lost the money and you've never seen him again.
36:52That is correct.
36:53Is this like a fight club situation where it's you?
36:57Sorry to spoil fight club, but it's one person the whole time.
37:01I hope so.
37:03Hopefully I can reintegrate and I wouldn't feel as bad about it.
37:07Well, do you need any advice?
37:08I mean, I would say like...
37:09Yeah, I mean, I just want to feel how to get more comfortable giving people money again.
37:14Oh, you want to be comfortable.
37:15No, I mean, the mistake was with that stranger that you didn't know.
37:19Like it's, this is more like a lesson.
37:21You lost that money, but you like learned a lesson.
37:23Like I've got to really know people before I move in with them.
37:26A hundred percent.
37:27It's a very, I mean, I appreciate you set it out really well, but as Fred was saying it, I'm
37:31like, it's a pretty clear lesson.
37:32Like this is just a one and done, really dumb mistake that you made.
37:35Yeah.
37:36And I think you can trust other people in your life.
37:39I don't know why it has to decay all of your trust with the people that come in and out
37:43of our journey on the world.
37:44I mean, the next person to ask me to loan money to them after that was my mom.
37:48And I was, I had a similar concern that I didn't want to make that weird.
37:56You meet someone in a chat room, you pay their deposit.
38:00They beat up the superintendent and leave town and they don't even have a phone.
38:04And then your mom, who you've known since the drop, asks to borrow money.
38:10And now you're hesitant because of this bad experience with a total drifter?
38:15I mean, that was part of it.
38:17You know, my mom also, my mom also did have a history of using and I wasn't sure, so.
38:25Using what?
38:27Using drugs.
38:28Oh, okay.
38:28So I wasn't sure what she was going to use the money for, so.
38:31Okay.
38:31Well, that was information that informed how we viewed the whole story.
38:38Well, Mike, I think Fred was right.
38:40I think don't do the exact thing you did again.
38:44What kind of car do you drive?
38:46Uh, I drive a Honda Accord.
38:48What kind of car do you drive?
38:49Oh, I drive a 1990 TC Chrysler Maserati with a V6 Mitsubishi engine.
38:54It was $3,900 on eBay and it's parked outside.
38:58Nice.
38:59Thank you.
39:00All right.
39:00My best to you and your mother and wherever you are, mystery man with that deposit, hope you're doing well.
39:07Um, Fred.
39:08Yeah.
39:08I wanted to mention something that you've been working on that I'm very excited about.
39:12Okay.
39:12Uh, you have, uh, made an album of sound effects.
39:16That's right.
39:16Is this right?
39:17It's, it's, it's really true.
39:19Like, I recorded all these sound effects like a, you know, sort of like a library of sounds like car
39:24doors slamming, uh, kitchen utensils, airplane sounds.
39:29There's a hundred of them.
39:30There's 100 tracks.
39:31Yes.
39:32I have the album here.
39:33Can we get a shot of it?
39:34It's called Fred Armisen 100 sound effects.
39:37Yeah.
39:37Um, it's going to be really cool.
39:39Yeah.
39:41This is coming out on Drag City Records.
39:43Drag City at the end of the summer.
39:45At the end of the summer.
39:46Yeah.
39:46That's really good.
39:47And I've been doing it for like a year.
39:48Going into some recording studios and some stuff out in the world.
39:51Could we hear some of the sound effects?
39:53Sure.
39:53Okay.
39:54The first one I wanted to hear is track 39.
39:57It's car rental door.
39:58Yes.
40:00Okay.
40:02It's locked?
40:04No.
40:08Out of there.
40:10So, so a car rental, like, you're never sure if it's locked.
40:13You're never sure if you did close it the right way.
40:16And I've got a bunch of other car doors, like your own car, you slam it in a very confident
40:20way.
40:21Right.
40:21Um, if it's a car service, very gentle and respectful.
40:24Thank you.
40:26That's a good sound effect that a lot of libraries probably don't have.
40:29Yeah.
40:29Um, another one I liked, um, but I need a little context.
40:32It's, uh, uh, track number 53 is bottles being thrown into plastic bin.
40:36Uh, this is more, uh, if you're at a music venue and the band has stopped playing and the bartender
40:42wants everyone to go home.
40:43Um, this is what it sounds like at the bar as he's throwing bottles angrily into a plastic bin.
40:49Okay.
40:50Let's hear that, please.
40:51If you are not with the band, it's me.
40:56You're closed.
40:58Out you go.
41:01If you don't have an orange wrist band, it's me.
41:05That is great.
41:06That is a really good one.
41:08The performance is really good on that.
41:10I wanted to, I wanted to end with, uh, my favorite, uh, track number 19.
41:15I don't think it needs much setup.
41:16This one is obligatory laugh.
41:18Oh, yeah.
41:20Can we hear it again, please?
41:24Yeah.
41:25Like, like at a speech.
41:26Like, if someone's making a speech or something, you're like, uh, uh, uh, uh.
41:29Yeah.
41:31That is great.
41:32We're going to make good use of that on the show.
41:33Fred Armisen 100 sounds.
41:35Comes out very soon.
41:38We will be right back after this message.
41:42Is a customer always right?
41:44I mean, let me get a cheese piece of honey.
41:48C'est un poil de cheese, un all-meat pizza, un poil de sausage, un poil de ham, un poil
41:54de beef, un poil de peperoni pizza, un poil de peperoni.
41:58Oui.
41:58C'est un poil de cheese pizza.
42:28Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
42:48Latifah.
43:00Blessings.
43:01It's as I, king of the sovereign nation of Latifah, independent for nearly six weeks now.
43:08Your Eminence, I have to say, I'm sorry to say this, you don't look well.
43:13Well, I'm dying from a rare disease that runs through my Latifah line.
43:19Alcoholism.
43:24Baloney, you must take my place as the new ruler of Latifah.
43:29Oh, no, no.
43:31People wouldn't be happy with me in that outfit.
43:33Uh, I also, I don't even know where Latifah is, Your Grace.
43:38Your Grace.
43:38It is a weird long country.
43:41Two thousand miles up and down.
43:43Half a mile wide.
43:46Completely landlocked.
43:47You know when you can just feel white people drawing your boundaries.
43:52I do.
43:53I really do.
43:58I understand you have a saying in Latifah.
44:00Yes.
44:05We have a saying in Latifah.
44:08Latifah sucks.
44:10But it's just ours.
44:12Now, Your Grace, I'm curious, when you pass away, won't Queen Latifah just rule?
44:17No.
44:18She is on the equalizer.
44:26It takes up a lot of her time.
44:28I see.
44:28I see.
44:29I understand.
44:30Don't worry.
44:30We have an arrangement.
44:33She keeps her title, but I get to step out.
44:40Oh, I see.
44:41That's, well, if that works for you, that's nice, King.
44:44But now, I must ask you, please take my place to step out on my wife.
44:50I'm sorry.
44:51Your Highness, I can't take over Latifah.
44:53You know, some people say, by the way, King, I've read international news, that you're a puppet for the Belgians.
44:59How do you respond to that?
45:03Underneath our soil, there's a red mineral.
45:06Lucas referred to it as Khadija, but you will know it as the name UNITY.
45:15That's a unity.
45:16That's right.
45:17The word was never supposed to leave the country, but my wife put in a little song of hers.
45:23So now, I have to hang out with the Dutch people.
45:27Yeah, I mean, they're Belgians, but yeah, that sucks.
45:32Listen, Your Grace, I'm honored, but the show really needs me.
45:36I'm the only one that knows Richard's feeding schedule, and I can't leave.
45:39I understand, but...
45:43But I go, but I go, can you at least tell me, what's Stavros Halkius like?
45:51What's Stavros Halkius like?
45:53He's, uh, he's really fun.
45:56Good.
45:58Good.
46:02Oh, he's...
46:03We've had another death on camera.
46:05Okay.
46:06Well, there goes the King of Latifah, one of the big dogs.
46:09Thank you so much.
46:14Rest in power, King Latifah.
46:16We're gonna take one call as a group here.
46:20Thank you all so much for helping people with their financial problems.
46:24Who should I go to, Ash?
46:28Jessica in Spokane, line two.
46:31Hello, Jessica.
46:32It's John Mulaney.
46:32You're on Everybody's Live.
46:34Hello, John.
46:35How are you?
46:36How can we help you?
46:39So, uh, I gave my brother some money for college, $10,000 to be exact.
46:44But he took it all to Vegas, John.
46:46And he spent it all on drugs and strippers.
46:50Oh, my God.
46:51He took 10 grand and went to Vegas and never went to college with it?
46:55No, he said he was gonna go to the University of Florida, John.
46:57He even named a university?
46:59Yeah.
46:59That's a pretty airtight story.
47:01I can't believe it wasn't true.
47:03Well, he got accepted, John, but he went to one class and he couldn't handle it.
47:09Um, well, what are you gonna do about this, Jessica?
47:12He's your brother.
47:14Yes.
47:14I don't know, really.
47:16I haven't confronted him.
47:18He's still...
47:19He's asking for $5,000 more, John, to go to rehab after this, uh, this Vegas bender.
47:26Oh, I see.
47:27He spent the money on a bender in Vegas and is now saying,
47:29can you give me five grand for treatment?
47:31Yeah.
47:32Yes.
47:32Wow, you are, you are in a pickle.
47:35Uh, I, I, I have to say we all hope he gets help if he needs it, but I, I
47:40don't know.
47:41That seems like a dicey thing.
47:43Would you give him five grand, John?
47:44And that one, no.
47:46No.
47:46You know, I'm thinking about it.
47:49Go ahead, Jessica.
47:50Oh, sorry, John.
47:52I, I'm thinking about it cause he's my brother, you know?
47:54Yeah.
47:55Yeah.
47:56There's the university.
47:57Does he have any, anyone else he can ask?
47:59Why is it, why is she only...
48:00Yeah, why is it just on you, Jessica?
48:02I mean, our parents are dead, John.
48:06Um, I'm sorry about that.
48:07And I just want to note, I like the use of my name at the end of every sentence.
48:11I'm sorry, I, I'm a big fan.
48:13Um, Jessica, uh, you're, you're in a bind.
48:16Um, I would, I would, I would, I don't know.
48:20I don't know.
48:21I, I'd offer to pre-pay the rehab.
48:23Pre-pay the rehab.
48:24Oh, geez.
48:25Pay them directly, so not give him $5,000.
48:27But no, but you don't understand, he just wants it for drugs.
48:30Yeah.
48:30Right.
48:31But if you say you won't give it to him.
48:34Right.
48:35Well, how about that?
48:36How about you send it to a rehab that you call his bluff, then he has to go there.
48:41Well, is he my responsibility?
48:44I don't know.
48:45That's for the, that's for the gods to answer.
48:47And I still don't rob my $5,000.
48:49He's your brother, but I don't know.
48:52It's, it's a general question.
48:53Are your siblings your responsibility?
48:55No.
48:58Yeah.
48:59Okay.
48:59So like nine people yelled no.
49:01So I think you're off the hook.
49:03I'm off the hook, John.
49:04Yeah.
49:04What kind of car do you drive?
49:07You'll never believe it.
49:08I drive the Ford.
49:10All right.
49:12What year?
49:151993.
49:16That's a old Ford.
49:18Okay.
49:19It is a old Ford.
49:20Jessica, best of luck to you.
49:22Thank you so much.
49:23Um, we've really tackled some great things.
49:25There are a lot of important issues though facing our world.
49:28So I recently sat down with some people.
49:31Take a look.
49:33From Broadway to London's West End to high schools around the world,
49:37Willie Lohman, the protagonist in Death of a Salesman,
49:40has riveted audiences for more than 75 years.
49:43And I wanted to speak to some men and women who've played this iconic character
49:47to get answers to today's most pressing questions.
49:55Hello.
49:55Thank you for being here.
49:56You've all played Willie Lohman.
49:58We've asked you to come here today to speak as yourselves,
50:01but more importantly to speak as Willie.
50:03Let's begin.
50:05In your production of Death of a Salesman,
50:07were your cases filled with something,
50:10or did you just act the weight of them?
50:12They were filled with something.
50:13What did you have in your cases?
50:14A ton of stuff.
50:16Everything.
50:17Bricks.
50:17And just to make them heavy.
50:19Grace, how did you feel about playing Wilma Lohman?
50:22Me and Rocco were in the same production at our high school.
50:25There was like a normal cast and there was like a gender-swapped cast.
50:28Rocco.
50:29Rocco Polanco.
50:31Rocco Polanco?
50:31Rocco Polanco.
50:32Great.
50:36Can we get in character now?
50:38And I want your Willie Lohman reactions to the topics and images that come up.
50:42How concerned are you about child obesity?
50:46Answer is Willie Lohman.
50:47Fat kids are just lazy.
50:49Yeah.
50:49They're just lazy.
50:50All their parents, you slap them around a little bit.
50:51Willie, that's terrible.
50:52Go play some football.
50:53Willie, how much screen time should an adolescent get?
50:57As much as he can get.
50:58You want him to be on phones all the time, Willie?
51:00As much as he can get, whatever it takes.
51:03Willie, what's the most money you'd spend on a mattress?
51:06Easily $500.
51:08Do you sleep well, Willie?
51:09No.
51:10Why not?
51:11I have a bad mattress.
51:12Wilma, what do you think of Drag Story Hour?
51:15At least kids are reading.
51:17Willie, are movies too violent?
51:19Yes.
51:20I mean, people getting shot up and blood spurting all over the place.
51:25Women being massacred or whatever, whatever it is.
51:29And a man's worth more debt than a life.
51:31That line.
51:36First image.
51:37Coffee.
51:38One of the major food groups.
51:42Nature's alarm clock.
51:43Oh, Willie.
51:43Willie, it's decaf.
51:45What?
51:45No such thing.
51:46Make coffee.
51:47I'll wash my car with it.
51:49Next image.
51:50Mortal Kombat.
51:51I'm Willie Lohman and I don't know what that is.
51:54Frogs.
51:54I'm Willie Lohman and I say you put 50 of those things together and it's the most beautiful
51:59symphony you ever heard.
52:01Do you like camping, Willie?
52:02No.
52:07Dad, can we have a trampoline, me and Hap?
52:13I'm Willie Lohman.
52:14I don't need that shit.
52:16Perfect answer.
52:19Okay, Willie's, draw an animal that scares you.
52:23I'm Willie Lohman and spiders scare me.
52:26A lot of snakes out there.
52:28Tiger.
52:28That's genuinely terrifying.
52:30What is that?
52:31Wolf.
52:32Vance, Willie, what do you have?
52:34I got the chupacabra.
52:36Now, if you'd indulge us, we wanted everyone to recite There Were Promises Made speech together.
52:42Let's get everyone on this.
52:43We're gonna all do this at once?
52:45Yeah.
52:45Yeah.
52:45One.
52:47Two.
52:48Three.
53:04Another piece of fruit!
53:07All right.
53:10Thank you, Willie.
53:11Thank you, Willie.
53:12You're all worth more living than dead.
53:15Oh.
53:17They'll see you out.
53:20Ladies and gentlemen, everyone here is so excited about this.
53:25Accompanied by a 17-piece orchestra, the pride of Southgate, California.
53:30It's Cypress Hill.
53:36All right.
53:39Hits from the ball.
53:42You know we like hits from the ball.
53:49We take hits from the ball.
53:52Fred Armisen hits the ball, right?
53:56Pick it.
53:57Pack it.
53:58Fire it up.
53:59Come along.
54:00And take a hit from the ball.
54:02Put the blunt down just for a second.
54:04Don't get me wrong.
54:05It's not a new method.
54:07Inhale.
54:08Exhale.
54:09I'll send you a pound in the mail.
54:12I like a blunt or a big fat cone, but my double barrel ball is hitting me stone.
54:17Don't steal it.
54:18There's water inside.
54:19Don't spill it.
54:19Smells like shit on the carpet.
54:22Go sound smooth when I get a clean hit of the skunk it, funky, smelly, green shit.
54:27Sing my song.
54:28I puff all night long.
54:30All night long.
54:31As I take hits from the ball.
54:33Who wanna take a big hit?
54:34Of this good shit?
54:36With the big Cypress Hill.
54:38Who wanna take a big hit?
54:39Of the good shit?
54:41With the big Cypress Hill.
54:43Who wanna take a big hit?
54:44Of the good shit?
54:46With the big Cypress Hill.
54:48Who wanna take a big hit?
54:50Of the good shit?
54:51Of the good shit?
54:51With the big Cypress Hill.
54:53First you smoke that bowl.
54:54Hit the ball.
54:55And then you take that finger off of that hole.
54:58You plug it.
54:59Unplug it.
55:00Don't strain.
55:01I love you, Mary Jane.
55:03Never complain.
55:05When I hit Mary with that plan.
55:07You know I light up the cherry.
55:09Cause she's so good to me.
55:11And when I pack a fresh coal.
55:12I scream.
55:13Scream.
55:14Don't get me stirred up the smoke.
55:16Through the bubbling waters.
55:17Negative.
55:18Pure.
55:18So I got to take another hit.
55:20Then I hold it.
55:21Just like Chong.
55:22I get the ball.
55:23And I reload it.
55:24Got the eight footer.
55:25Gonna hit it strong.
55:27Hit it strong.
55:27But god damn.
55:28I left it at home.
55:29Who wanna take a big hit?
55:31Of the good shit?
55:32With the big Cypress Hill.
55:34Who wanna take a big hit?
55:36I do.
55:36We're good shit.
55:38With the big Cypress e.
55:39We're going to bring the ball.
55:40Who wanna take a big hit?
55:41I get high.
55:41You wanna hit.
55:43We're going to put a big hit.
55:45I do.
55:45One puisse.
55:46You wanna take a big hit?
55:46Yeah.
55:47For the good shit?
55:48With the big Cypress Hill.
55:49Everybody say hell yeah.
55:52I get high.
55:55Say hell yeah.
55:57We all get high.
56:00say hell yeah.
56:15Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
56:31Fred Armisen, Jessica Roy, Cypress Hill
56:33Thank you to all the Willy Lomans
56:35Only 11 more to go
56:37Tune in next week
56:38Bye-bye
57:13Tune in next week
57:40Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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