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25:21vous savez, ils sont petits.
25:24Et donc, vous vous dites,
25:26« bon, on va bien, on va bien, on va bien. »
25:29Et il m'a été très grande et le hugger,
25:31c'est comme, vous savez,
25:34comme un wrestler,
25:36et je n'ai jamais hâte de jouer à un wrestler.
25:38En tout votre years...
25:39Je ne sais pas ce que vous avez entendu.
25:41Je n'ai jamais hâte de jouer à un wrestler.
25:42Vous n'avez jamais hâte de jouer à un wrestler.
25:44Nous allons vous mettre en WWE.
25:47Et, Leanne,
25:49vous avez des filles de l'aise aussi.
25:51Je n'ai jamais eu poursuivre...
25:52C'est vrai.
25:54Ça va à la manière...
25:55Vous êtes de l'aise en vous ?
25:57Oui, je suis de laité,
25:59et nous avons des filles en designing.
26:01Que j'ai déconné,
26:02je l'ai été allé si taux.
26:04Ils sont différents.
26:05C'est-ce qu'il prête de faire ça ?
26:07Oui, c'est-ce qu'il...
26:08Je l'ai mouillé à l'école,
26:10quién taux,
26:10Donc, je vais prendre laité d' Hanım.
26:13Et je fais aussi...
26:15Je fais comme un joueur de tes...
26:17C'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon.
26:47C'est bon, c'est bon.
27:17C'est bon.
27:18C'est bon.
27:20C'est bon.
28:20C'est bon.
28:21C'est bon.
28:29C'est bon.
28:38C'est bon.
28:39C'est bon.
28:41C'est bon.
28:44C'est bon.
28:46C'est bon.
28:48C'est bon.
28:48C'est bon.
28:49C'est bon.
28:55C'est bon.
28:56C'est bon.
28:57C'est bon.
29:01C'est bon.
29:02C'est bon.
29:07C'est bon.
29:10C'est bon.
29:12C'est bon.
29:13C'est bon.
29:15C'est bon.
29:25C'est bon.
29:28C'est bon.
29:42C'est bon.
29:43C'est bon.
29:57C'est bon.
29:59C'est bon.
30:10C'est bon.
30:17C'est bon.
30:20C'est bon.
30:22C'est bon.
30:25C'est bon.
30:25C'est bon.
30:26C'est bon.
30:28C'est bon.
30:28C'est bon.
30:28C'est bon.
30:29C'est bon.
30:30C'est bon.
30:31C'est bon.
30:33C'est bon.
30:34C'est bon.
30:35C'est bon.
30:35C'est bon.
30:37C'est bon.
30:37C'est bon.
30:37C'est bon.
30:38C'est bon.
30:39C'est bon.
30:40C'est bon.
30:41C'est bon.
30:43C'est bon.
30:44C'est bon.
30:45C'est bon.
30:46C'est bon.
30:48C'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon.
31:24Hey. Hey, if you liked that, be sure to check out the online versions. That's three times as long. Welcome
31:29back. I'm talking heights with David Letterman and Leanne Morgan, and as I read a minute ago, we're having a
31:35great time. I'd like to bring out a couple more guests. Please welcome two very funny comedians with two very
31:41different energies. It's Hannibal Buress and Nikki Glaser.
31:54Hello, Nick. Thanks for being here on Hyde Night. Hannibal, Dave. What's up, man? Nice to meet you. Nice to
32:03meet you. Nice to meet you. Have a seat. Have a seat. No, no, no. You're here. All right.
32:08All right. Nikki, how tall are we? 5'9". 5'9". Hannibal? 5'10". 5'10", a true 5'10".
32:16True 5'10". I like that. But I got bow legs, so I should be 6'1". Now, you hear
32:22about bow legs a lot. What does that mean? You hear about bow legs a lot. You hear about bow
32:27legs a lot.
32:40We'll be right back. No, I just want to say, David, I do want to say with everyone here that
32:46I would like to point something out very wonderful you did for my dad.
32:50We were on your show. My next guest needs no introduction. My dad and I and you sat down and
32:56had a little dinner conversation. I never told you this before, but my dad had a hard out that evening
33:01because he needed to get home.
33:04because the pastor of our church was coming over to ask for money. And my dad, I told him, like,
33:10I think that's a he waits for you situation.
33:12But he kept running around about this hard out. But then he had a great, great time with you. And
33:17when that episode won the Emmy Award, you sent the Emmy to my dad, which he now has in their
33:25living room, the ultimate conversation starter.
33:29They don't have a picture with the Pope. So this is the second best thing you could ask for.
33:36Does anyone else have a gift like that for my dad?
33:45You're very kind to bring this up. And of all of the things I've been lucky enough to do in
33:50the world of television, that moment with you and your father
33:54was perhaps one of the most important that I was ever part of. And I, I have something in common
34:00with your father that still resonates with me now.
34:03So, and thank you for mentioning that. But hi, if you're watching and thank you for everything.
34:08Oh, that's so cool.
34:12That's so nice. And there's, there's no way he's watching, but how long was that? How long was that dinner?
34:17We were sitting there for an hour and a half, two hours. That's so cool.
34:21Now, because this has nothing specifically to do with height, will it be edited?
34:24No. One, that's the fun of the live show. And two, uh, it actually does. I mean, fathers and sons,
34:30I feel like always relates to height.
34:32I didn't know I was taller than my dad till college. Yeah.
34:34My girlfriend was like, you know, you're taller than your dad. And I was like, no, he's bigger because I'm
34:38little.
34:38And he said, no, no, you're like two to three inches taller than him.
34:42So, Hannibal, you taller than your daughter?
34:49Uh, yeah, yeah. I got her for right now, but she's growing.
34:53Yeah. She's catching up. She's how old now?
34:54She three. She turns four on, uh...
34:57She's catching up. Yeah. June 2nd.
35:00I'll tell you this. In the goodie bags, throw $1 bills in each of them for the birthday party.
35:05I'm like a god at Sky Zone in Mission Viejo because these kids came for my son's third birthday.
35:11and I sent them all home with $1 and they flipped their shit.
35:14Oh, my God. They're talking about me still.
35:15Flipped their shit. It's love cash.
35:17All right. Hannibal, you and I started around the same time in Chicago.
35:20Yeah. What was your first impression of me?
35:26I don't think I met you in Chicago, though.
35:28We didn't meet there? I think I met you in New York.
35:30And my impression was like, you seem like a rich white dude doing comedy.
35:37And now, surrounded by glass grapes. Has your opinion changed?
35:42Nikki, we met when you were in college, right?
35:44Yeah, yeah.
35:45Were you doing stand-up back then?
35:46I was, but I just came to see... You were opening for Mike Verbiglia.
35:50Mike Verbiglia, yeah.
35:51And you came to my school, and I remember watching you and being like,
35:56Oh, this is what I should... I should be here.
36:00Like, I should be at that level.
36:02Like, I hadn't seen anyone my age at that level yet.
36:04And you gave an example of like, oh, this is someone who's doing it right.
36:09And I've felt that way about you ever since.
36:11Oh, Nikki, that's very sweet.
36:12You're always setting the bar, John.
36:14Oh, well, a bar. I don't know if it's a high bar.
36:16Until this show, we're redefining bar on this.
36:20No.
36:20Leanne, are you on the road a lot right now?
36:24I am.
36:24Well, I'm shooting a series right now.
36:27And then I'll start touring heavy again.
36:30That's great.
36:32I understand you were just doing a corporate in Arizona?
36:36Yes, I did a corporate in Arizona for darling men that sell insurance.
36:42And they were very fun.
36:45Yeah, very fun.
36:49They were very much like my husband, Chuck, who is very introverted and quiet and doesn't talk.
36:55And so they were fun.
36:57I mean, it was a big time.
36:59They had on golf shirts, you know.
37:02And I loved that.
37:04Were they sunburned?
37:05And I gave it everything I had.
37:06Were they a little sunburned?
37:08Because I feel like when I perform at any kind of...
37:10Like, the last one I did was Dentsply, Dental Supply Conference.
37:14And they were all... they all come in.
37:16They have like a... do you do a lot of these?
37:17Yeah, yeah.
37:18They have like a day of activities.
37:19Dave, you've got to get in on this circuit.
37:22You perform for dental supply salesmen.
37:24They're all sunburned.
37:25They've been drinking in the daytime.
37:26And then you go up and you bomb.
37:27And you think about the check.
37:29And then you go home.
37:30And you avoid going to the gym the next day at the resort
37:33because they all saw you bomb the night before.
37:35And you dress in disguise.
37:36That's true.
37:36Yes.
37:37You face forward on an elliptical while grown men who watched you eat shit
37:41sort of do light weights.
37:43I'd love to take a call because the phone lines, more than any other episode,
37:47are blowing up right now.
37:48Who should I go to first here?
37:50Brian.
37:51This is Brian in Dawsonville, Georgia.
37:54Brian, how are you?
37:55You're on Everybody's Live.
37:57Hey, John.
37:59So, I used to be six feet tall, and I decided to fly to Turkey,
38:05pay someone to break my legs, and now I'm six foot six.
38:08What?
38:10Six.
38:11Do you mean you got the leg lengthening surgery?
38:15Yeah.
38:15I got two of them.
38:17Well, yeah.
38:18Whoa.
38:20Oh, you didn't just go for the one?
38:23Wait.
38:24Wait.
38:24Honey.
38:25Why Turkey?
38:27Why Turkey?
38:29Oh, is it cheaper there?
38:30Hair at the same time?
38:31Yeah.
38:32Hey, what's with Turkey?
38:33That's a possible show topic.
38:34What's happening in Turkey with all the cheap surgeries?
38:37Rich, if you could write that down.
38:40So, wait.
38:41Why did you want to...
38:42How tall are you now?
38:43I'm 6'6".
38:44You're 6'6"?
38:46Yeah.
38:47How much did it cost?
38:48Yeah.
38:48How much did it cost?
38:50So, if you were to get the surgery at today's prices, it would be about just over $100,000,
38:56but I got it for $75,000.
38:58Oh, that's...
38:58That's...
38:59Can you have it done in America?
39:01You can have it done in America, but it's about $80,000 per, so it would have been 160.
39:07Okay.
39:07All right.
39:08So, I do get why you went to Turkey.
39:09That's real savings.
39:11That is nothing to shake a stick at.
39:12Why did you want to be 6'6", when you were already six feet?
39:15I'm six feet tall, and I'm pretty satisfied with it.
39:17Yeah, that's interesting.
39:19Yeah.
39:19So, that's the thing.
39:21This surgery is usually for people who are, like, you know, pretty short, and they just
39:25want to be normal height.
39:27For me, it was a little different.
39:28I actually didn't care too much about my height, but I wanted to do something really
39:33crazy, and this kind of fits the bill, and I thought, hey, I got a really cool benefit
39:39after all of it.
39:41Why not?
39:41Sign me up.
39:42Oh.
39:43Have you heard of skydiving?
39:44Yeah.
39:46Dude, I don't know where to start with you, but are you on the level you didn't care
39:50about your height?
39:52You just did this to, like, shake up your life?
39:56No, no.
39:57So, to clarify, of course, every guy, most guys would like to be a little taller.
40:02Like, if you ask anybody, would you do it if there was no pain?
40:05You're not Andy Rooney.
40:06You don't have to talk about society at large.
40:08Andy Rooney.
40:11Well, do you like being 6'6"?
40:14Yeah, what changed?
40:16Dave Letterman has a question for you.
40:17What did this do to your pants budget?
40:20That's right.
40:22Yeah, so I can only buy pants on Amazon now.
40:26My instinct is not in stores.
40:27Oh, so there's your win-win.
40:28Was it painful, and is it still painful?
40:31Good question, Rich.
40:33So, is it still painful?
40:35Yeah, I have, I had complications, uh, because of, you know, where I went.
40:40But, uh, so I'm still recovering from it, which is unfortunate.
40:44But I will make a full recovery.
40:46So do you regret the surgery?
40:48Regret's a strong word.
40:49I would've...
40:50Oh, come on.
40:56Regret is a strong word.
40:59Give it a try.
41:00I have to ask, is it reversible?
41:02Uh, is it reversible?
41:03Yeah, I just, I couldn't with that guy at a certain point.
41:06I, I, I, I, it was kind of fun when he just wanted to be 6'6",
41:10but now that he's suffering complications,
41:13he's gonna have to get back on a one-way to Istanbul.
41:16Oh, my God.
41:18All right.
41:19Let's go to, uh, who am I talking to here?
41:21Let's go to Britt in Salem, Oregon.
41:23And, and, uh, any questions the panel has for these callers,
41:26please jump in.
41:26Is this line two, Ashley?
41:29Britt!
41:29It's John Mulaney.
41:30You're on Everybody's Live.
41:32Hey, guys.
41:33Hey, how you doing?
41:34So I'm a tall woman.
41:35I'm good.
41:36How are you?
41:37I'm good.
41:37How tall are you?
41:38Um, I'm six foot two.
41:40Oh, that's tall.
41:42Yeah.
41:43That's how tall people thought David Letterman was for a minute.
41:45And then...
41:48I'm actually six foot two.
41:50Women don't lie about their height.
41:52Um, so I'm a bartender.
41:54Wow.
41:56Shots fired.
41:58Send her to Turkey.
41:59Um, so...
42:03So, yeah, men are always saying something about my height.
42:07Like, it's always a thing at work.
42:08But the weirdest thing was once a guy offered me $300 for a pair of my socks.
42:13A pair of your socks?
42:13Because a tall woman had big feet.
42:16Uh, what size foot do you have?
42:18Um, I'm a women's 12.
42:20Women's 12.
42:21Okay, that's serious.
42:22Yeah.
42:23Yeah.
42:24He offered to buy your socks so he had some sort of an interest in feet.
42:28Yeah, I assume so.
42:30Did you sell them?
42:32Yeah, of course.
42:35You know, I applaud you for doing that.
42:37Leanne, if a man offered to buy your socks, would you sell them $300?
42:44Yeah.
42:44Yeah.
42:45I just don't see it as...
42:48There's something about the foot fetishist where the way they're approaching you is so...
42:52It's so specific.
42:53But at the same time, they're not talking about what we call your intimate areas.
42:58And so there's something harmless about it.
43:01Anyway, I could see doing foot content.
43:03Of course.
43:04I could, too.
43:06Pand...
43:06Dave, during the pandemic, did you do any foot content online?
43:09I know a lot of people resorted to that.
43:11None of your goddamn business.
43:13Hey, Britt, what kind of car do you drive?
43:17Uh, Kia Soul.
43:19Kia Soul.
43:20Very beautiful.
43:20And is it hard to, uh, is 6'2", a little tall for a Kia Soul?
43:26So, I actually have it because I can't do smaller cars.
43:29I wish I had a bigger one, but it's okay.
43:32All right.
43:33Well, I'll tell you this.
43:35You keep selling those socks, you're gonna get the biggest car in town.
43:37Yeah.
43:39Got it.
43:39That's fantastic.
43:45You know, when I heard that we would be talking about height on the show tonight, I thought
43:50maybe it would get dull.
43:52No.
43:53I have never been happier to be wrong.
43:56There's just, you're absolutely right.
43:58There's just so many levels to height.
44:01Yeah.
44:01And the way it works in our society, the way it works in our family.
44:04I mean, even the guy that got the leg lengthening surgery, uh, in the course of one phone call
44:09realized that he actually did care about his height a little and maybe it wasn't just a lark.
44:13Yeah.
44:13Yeah.
44:14That's right.
44:14There's discrimination for men who are shorter, I feel.
44:17Do you feel that?
44:18I mean, I don't feel it, but I think they feel it.
44:21I mean, you see it on like dating apps where girls will write, you know, if you're under
44:25six foot, swipe left.
44:26Really?
44:27Yeah.
44:28You can write that?
44:29I would think that you would get kicked off for that kind of thing.
44:31But I think when women are, take a stand about height, it's like, good job, girl.
44:36You know what you want.
44:37Whereas if a man wrote, you know, you're over 120, swipe left.
44:41Right.
44:42We wouldn't be like, you have good boundaries.
44:43Yeah, exactly.
44:45I've always been attracted to little men.
44:47Me too.
44:48I'm very big man, but I like all men.
44:52I mean, I do.
44:54But, I do.
44:56But I've never, I dated little men and loved it.
44:59How little?
44:59Dance, like Michael Jackson.
45:02I loved it.
45:04It's not bothering me one thing.
45:06My boyfriend's shorter than me.
45:08Signific, like significantly shorter than me.
45:10And I just, I don't even notice it.
45:12I've never had a problem with it.
45:13And I actually think that like, there's maybe a part of me that thinks like, when people
45:18see like, oh, she's with a short guy, like, he must be fantastic.
45:21Like, he must be, he must have, he must be great.
45:24And he's, he's fine.
45:25But, you know.
45:28But there is something about that.
45:29It's, it's never bothered me.
45:31Oh, right.
45:31So you, they, you go, ah, this, this man must be very confident.
45:34Because I, some of these men you were dancing with, with these Michael Jackson-like moves,
45:37it sounds like they were all confidence.
45:39Yes.
45:40Was it hard to then marry such a tall man when you're so attracted to people?
45:44I, I mean, I just, I'm trying to, to all men.
45:47I mean, I mean that in a sweet way, biblical way.
45:50But I mean, I just always just enjoyed men.
45:53I didn't care about heights.
45:54I just never did.
45:55And then Chuck Morgan, yeah, it's been nice being married to a big man.
45:58And he can, you know, get the raccoon out of the garbage can, stuff like that.
46:02That's been helpful.
46:04He can, he can do.
46:04He can reach, you know.
46:05He can do what to a raccoon?
46:07He got a raccoon out of the garbage can because I didn't want to have to deal with that.
46:10Oh.
46:11I wouldn't reach in.
46:11He's very manly.
46:12I do a lot of stomping close to the garbage can.
46:14I go, hey, get out of here.
46:18It sounds like an exorcism when I'm doing it.
46:20I'm always like, be gone!
46:22Uh, Levinson, I am just getting word.
46:24Is it time?
46:25Look, I know we've had a setback and we lost our six foot tall man,
46:29but I don't want this night to pass without celebrating those men who are here
46:33and who got measured.
46:35The Know Your Age campaign has been very worth it for you.
46:38You know, men come up to me in the grocery store.
46:40They come up to me at Ross for Less.
46:41They say, thank you.
46:43I finally know my height.
46:44and so my simple goal of getting men measured has been accomplished,
46:48even if we don't have the perfect diagonal.
46:51Wait, I'm six foot!
46:52What's happening?
46:53I'm six foot!
46:54I'm six foot on the dot.
46:55Wait, measure.
46:57What do we have here?
46:58I'm wearing Toms because I know it flattens the foot for the perfect measurement.
47:02He's six foot.
47:03Oh, get in there.
47:04I told you I was six foot.
47:05Oh, my God.
47:06Jimmy Kimmel has joined the line.
47:12A friend, a friend and a truce.
47:14A six footer.
47:15A hero.
47:16The perfect diagonal is actually going to happen.
47:19Okay.
47:20Um, everybody at home, gather your friends, gather your family, gather your children.
47:24Oh, beautiful.
47:25This is moon landing type shit.
47:26Here they come.
47:31Oh, my God.
47:33For spacious skies.
47:36Amber waves of grain.
47:41For purple mountain majesty.
47:48Above the fruity plain.
47:54America.
47:58America.
48:00America.
48:01God damn shit is great so deep.
48:05And clown back ooh.
48:08With brotherhood.
48:12From sea to shining sea.
48:25From sea to shining sea.
48:36Around the fruity plain ages.
48:48Excuse me.
48:51Excuse me.
48:52Excuse me.
48:54Excuse me.
48:55What a four footer.
49:00Whoa.
49:01Come here.
49:02This is me.
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