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18:10On a cruise ship
18:11I've never been on a cruise ship
18:13Ever in my life
18:13Yeah
18:14I am fascinated with cruises
18:16But I've never experienced one myself
18:19And my only real sort of knowledge of cruises
18:23Is from the Poseidon Adventure
18:24Ah Shelley Winters the Poseidon Adventure
18:26Yes
18:27And then it was remade later with Kurt Russell
18:29In the 90s I think
18:30They remade Poseidon Adventure with Kurt Russell
18:33Didn't they?
18:33This is Shelley Winters' role
18:35Really?
18:36Okay
18:38This is news to me
18:39And this is breaking live around the world
18:41They remade the Poseidon Adventure
18:42Am I making this up?
18:43Maybe it's just a dream I had
18:44No, that's pretty cool
18:45But yeah, so I'm like
18:47I was like
18:47It was my favorite movie growing up
18:49Do you know
18:49Have you seen it?
18:49Yes
18:50Yeah
18:50And I just watched it
18:51Like maybe 20 times when it came out
18:53The cruise ship turns upside down
18:55In the Poseidon Adventure
18:55Yeah, they get hit by
18:56Like a tidal wave in the Mediterranean
18:59And the cruise ship goes upside down
19:01And it's New Year's Eve
19:03And does any
19:04Has anybody ever seen the Poseidon Adventure?
19:06Yeah
19:06A couple of people
19:07Right
19:08So they're stuck at the bottom of the boat
19:10Yeah
19:10But the bottom is the top
19:11And they have to get up to the hull
19:14And Gene Hackman leads them up to the hull
19:16The great Gene Hackman leads them up to the hull
19:18That is great stuff
19:19Anyway, it's a great movie
19:20And then I also, you know, I watched The Love Boat too
19:24That is fantastic
19:26I understand your parents were on an episode of The Love Boat?
19:29My parents were on multiple episodes of The Love Boat
19:32Yes, and they, yeah, they would
19:35They did maybe like two or three times
19:37And that was, you know, that was, that was fun
19:39That was fun
19:40Did you visit them on set?
19:41I never visited them on set
19:43But I visited them on other sets
19:45But not that set
19:46Okay
19:46Yeah
19:47That's good
19:48Anne, was The Love Boat a big boon for the cruise ship industry?
19:52Definitely
19:52Really?
19:53Yes, with stars like your parents
19:56Absolutely
19:57It taught people about cruising
19:58It was unknown
19:59It was unknown
20:01So we had Titanic, 60 years go by
20:05Obscurity, and then Love Boat comes out and really kicks out to you
20:08Titanic wasn't really a cruise ship
20:09How was Titanic not a cruise ship?
20:11It's an ocean liner
20:12It was transporting people across the seas
20:15Whereas cruise ships are for vacation, fun
20:18Oh, that's an interesting
20:20Right
20:20Oh, that's an interesting
20:22It had like a purpose
20:22It was people getting from one place
20:24It wasn't a cruise because it had a purpose
20:28Let's go to our first fall
20:30We have Oren from Houston, Texas
20:34Hold on, let me see if he's there, line one
20:36Hi, Oren, it's John Mulaney
20:38You're on Everybody's Live
20:39I'm here with Ben Stiller
20:40And Anne Kalosh and Richard Kind
20:43Hey guys, how's it going?
20:44Hi, tell us your cruise news
20:47Yeah, so both jobs can be either chaotic
20:51Or it could be fun
20:52Or it could be both
20:53Like, I'm a chef
20:54And so, like, this one time we had this guest come on board
20:58Or, um
20:59Oren, could you sit down, you're a what?
21:00We took them all down to the beach
21:01Hey, Oren?
21:02And so this one, one guy, like, dies
21:05Oren
21:06And, um, this is while everyone is swimming
21:08And having margaritas
21:09And
21:09What should I do?
21:10The standard protocol is to
21:11Whoa, Oren, Oren
21:13Yeah
21:14Okay
21:15I'm so sorry, honey
21:17You gotta start from the beginning
21:19Do you work on a cruise ship?
21:22Yeah
21:23Cool
21:25Are you currently on one?
21:27No
21:28Okay, please continue
21:31Okay, so, like, um
21:34I forgot where I, where the hell I was
21:35I took you off rhythm, yeah
21:38No, no, no, okay
21:39What was your job on a cruise ship, Oren?
21:40I was telling the story of how this, this passenger passes away
21:44A passenger passed away
21:46Right, um, and typical protocol is to basically store the body in a cool area
21:51So, like, the trash cooler
21:53And on this day, the cooler was full
21:55So, the second option is to
21:57The body
21:59Yes
21:59The dead body
22:01So, the, the next option is to store them in a refrigerator
22:06Now, John
22:07Wait, the first option is the trash refrigerator
22:09Yes
22:10And the second option is regular refrigerator?
22:12Yes
22:12Correct
22:13Okay
22:14Can I ask a question?
22:15So
22:16Ben, Oren has a question, Oren
22:17Oren?
22:18Yes
22:18You said the, the morgue was full?
22:23No, the, uh, trash cooler, the trash cooler was full
22:26I see, okay
22:27So, but do, do most cruise ships, this is something I read
22:31Do cruise ships have onboard morgues in case a passenger dies?
22:35Yes, there is a place to store bodies, but
22:37And it's not the trash cooler?
22:38No
22:38Okay
22:39But, Oren, the ship you worked on didn't have a proper morgue?
22:43No, not at all
22:44Okay
22:45What'd you do with the body, honey?
22:50Sorry Oren?
22:51I was, I was, yeah, no, we, we ended up not putting it in the refrigerator
22:56And you just imagine, cause I'm from the hood, John
22:59So, like, putting bodies in the refrigerator, it's not like something you would do, but
23:03I'm not from the hood, and we wouldn't do it either, I promise
23:06Um, so, they just ended up putting the guy back into his cabin because he came alone
23:13You put him in his cabin?
23:15Yeah, he came alone, so they, they blasted the AC and then, um, that's basically it
23:22They blasted the AC?
23:24You laid him on his cruise bed?
23:27Yeah, yeah
23:28Do you remember how many days he was dead in the room?
23:31Uh, it was two days to get to port
23:33Alright, Oren, what, what was the cause of death?
23:35Ah
23:36Um, I believe he had a heart attack while he was swimming
23:40While he was what?
23:41Swimming?
23:41He had a heart attack while he was swimming
23:43Uh
23:44We were all at the beach
23:46Oh, you were all at the beach?
23:48He died at the beach?
23:50Yeah
23:53Oren, what kind of car do you drive?
23:58Um, uh, FJ Cruiser
24:00A what?
24:01Uh, FJ Cruiser
24:01Oh, cool, I never heard of that
24:03Sick, okay
24:03Uh, great question on how he died
24:06Because it sounds like he died at one of the excursions
24:09They brought him back on the boat
24:12There's no room in the trash fridge
24:14So they put him in his room
24:16That's fantastic
24:18Should that boat, it should have had a morgue?
24:21I think it probably did
24:22Yeah
24:23I'm a little suspicious about this story
24:25To sort of misquote Jaws, we're gonna need a bigger morgue
24:27Oh
24:29All right, Angela
24:32Hi, Angela
24:33Is this true?
24:34Angela, it's John Mulaney
24:35You're on everybody's live show
24:37Um, is it
24:38It says here you are in the middle of the ocean near Brazil?
24:42Yes, we are currently in the Atlantic Ocean off of the coast of Brazil
24:47And we are sailing on a residential cruise ship
24:51A residential cruise ship? What's that, Angela?
24:55It is where we live here full time
24:58Wow
24:59You live on a cruise?
25:01Yes
25:01Wow
25:02That's crazy
25:04So do people, people do that?
25:06It's, it's very rare
25:08I only know of a couple of residential cruise ships
25:10Well now you know of three
25:11No, I think this is gonna be one of them
25:13Oh, Angela, how long, how long, uh, why?
25:22Well, my husband and I are retired
25:25And we thought what a better way to travel the entire world
25:30Without having to pack bags and make all the travel plans
25:35We just moved into a room and let the ship do all the planning
25:39And we go to bed at night and wake up the next day
25:41And we're in a new country exploring new things
25:43It's amazing
25:44And you're pretty satisfied with living on the boat
25:47Is there any, any amenities of, of, of land that you miss?
25:53Um, well, maybe some friends
25:57But not necessarily an amenity
25:59Because we have pretty, all the amenities
26:01Do you like the other people on the boat, Angela?
26:05Uh, we've been here since, uh, October 1st
26:09So, so far so good, but maybe ask me in another year
26:12Okay
26:13Okay, I see
26:13Can I ask a question?
26:15With your kind as a question, Angela
26:16How many people are on the boat?
26:17And how many people are living just like you are?
26:21Um, we currently have just under 300 full-time residents
26:27Wow
26:28Wow
26:28That's just shocking
26:30I've never heard of anything like that
26:32Are you retired, Angela?
26:33Are you, are you working from the ship?
26:36Um, we do have a lot of people that work full-time from the ship
26:40But we are both retired
26:41Fantastic
26:42Do the people who work on the ship know that you're on the ship forever?
26:50Um, I, I think so
26:54That's the, uh, the idea behind the big, uh, residential idea
27:00Angela, have you seen the same entertainment multiple times?
27:03Because you live there?
27:05Um, no, they actually rotate every six weeks and they bring new people on board
27:10And then we kick them off and they bring on more
27:14What's the best act you've seen on the cruise?
27:18Ooh, best act
27:22Um, that's a hard one
27:24Oh, make something up
27:25You know, they
27:26Oh, shh
27:28Do they have magicians?
27:30Um
27:30Yeah, that's a good question
27:32Yeah, that's, I, I can't even answer it, I don't know
27:36Okay
27:36Can you have a dog serve ice cream whenever you want?
27:39Oh
27:41That's the only thing good I've found about my cruise
27:44Angela, Angela, this is, I don't even know what to ask you
27:48This is so mind-blowing that you live on a goddamn cruise
27:50Uh, what kind of car do you drive?
27:57Uh, okay
27:58Uh, that, that weird disembodied cackle means
28:05That it's time to take a break for this message
28:11What is God?
28:12God is unknowable
28:14Even the word itself, God
28:16Is a confusing word
28:17And so I have no idea
28:22You ask, when did I decide I want to be a rabbi?
28:26I'm still wondering, do I want to be a rabbi?
28:30I, I never saw rabbi as part of the definition of my existence, my life
28:36I am David
28:37When I'm dreaming
28:39I don't dream as a rabbi, I dream as a me
28:42David is who I am, me
28:43Rabbi is what I do
28:46Hobbies?
28:49Actually, movies
28:50I can see a movie a hundred times if I like it
28:53Oh, like, Crimson Tide
28:55You ever heard of it?
28:58Gene Hackman
28:59Submarine movie
29:00There's trouble in Russia
29:02So they called us
29:04The captain wanted to fire nuclear missiles without authorization
29:08I've made the decision
29:09I'm captain of this boat
29:10Now shut the fuck up!
29:12The order was incomplete
29:13Incomplete
29:14That's a message fragment
29:15Because it got cut off during the attack
29:17So the message can mean anything
29:18It can be a message to a board
29:19And, and Denzel Washington character
29:23Mr. Hunter
29:24How can I remember that
29:25And not remember names of members of this congregation?
29:29Right, Katie?
29:30The end
29:49All right
29:50Right
29:51Welcome back
29:52Ladies and gentlemen
29:53My guests are the fantastic Ben Stiller
29:55And the wonderful Ann Kalash
29:57And we're talking cruise ships
29:58But before we continue
29:59We would like to pause for a tradition we have here at Everybody's Live
30:03Where we'd like to take some time
30:04And honor one of our brave service members
30:06For the service that they have sacrificed for us
30:10Yes, so
30:14If you could, please stand and remove any hats
30:17As we welcome the Lieutenant General of the No Limit Soldiers
30:21Silk the Shocker
30:23Thank you
30:26Silk the Shocker
30:27Has served in over 13 corns
30:31And 13 corns as a No Limit soldier
30:35Including multiple summer jams
30:38Officer the Shocker
30:40Yeah
30:40On behalf of everybody's here
30:41At Everybody's Live
30:42Thank you for your service
30:44Yep
30:45Okay
30:45It's not lost on me
30:47Or any of us
30:48The great contribution you've made to our nation
30:50And for that
30:51You have my eternal gratitude
30:53You got it, you got it
30:54And may I just say
30:55May I just say Silk the Shocker
31:01If it was up to me
31:01You would always board first on every airplane
31:04Well John, I actually do board first
31:07I'm very rich, so
31:08Yeah
31:09As it should be
31:11Thank you very much
31:14For keeping us safe
31:17I appreciate you man
31:18Thank you
31:18I mean uh
31:19Thank you guys
31:20Should I keep it?
31:21What I'm gonna do with this?
31:22You can keep it, sure
31:22I don't know
31:23Yeah, use it as a bedspread or something
31:25Some people
31:25Some people keep the No Limit soldier flag
31:27Some don't
31:28But
31:28Okay
31:28Okay, great
31:29Silk the Shocker ladies and gentlemen
31:30Very nice
31:36Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
31:39All right
31:40My next guests are the star of Abbott Elementary
31:42And a man who knows so much about me
31:45That I could never sever ties
31:47Please welcome Quinta Brunson and Nick Kroll
32:02Hello Quinta, nice to see you
32:05Thank you for joining us
32:08Hey John
32:09Hey my friend
32:10We've been friends for a long time
32:12We've known each other
32:12We've known each other a long time
32:15I have um
32:16I have Quinta's phone
32:17She asked me to
32:18So she couldn't push out the door with the phone
32:20She wanted me to push the door open
32:21It was really hard
32:22Oh, I'm sorry about that
32:23It's okay
32:23If anyone, by the way, wants to take out their phone
32:25Please do at any time
32:26Yeah
32:27Also, I do want to say
32:28I forgot to name this up top
32:29But every guest is allowed one pass during the show
32:32So if I ask a question that you're not interested in answering
32:34You can exercise your pass
32:36Great
32:37During the last video we were showing
32:39We found out, yes
32:40Kurt Russell remade The Poseidon Adventure in 2006
32:43Yes
32:43With Josh Lucas and of course Richard Dreyfuss
32:46We're happy to have cleared that up
32:48And we're sorry to anyone who was left in limbo
32:52During those few minutes
32:54Have you ever done
32:57Thank you
32:57Thank you
32:58Emmy Rossum
32:59Emmy Rossum was also in the
33:00Emmy Rossum
33:01Emmy Rossum was in the film, yeah
33:02Have you seen it?
33:03No
33:04You looked it up too?
33:05Yeah, I looked it up actually
33:06She was in the Pamela Sue Martin role maybe
33:08Yeah, I think so
33:09Okay, I think so
33:09You should use your pass for that
33:11I would use my pass, have you seen it?
33:12Pass
33:12Yeah
33:14You know
33:14Have you seen Poseidon Adventure?
33:15I haven't seen it, no
33:16Okay
33:16Pass
33:18You know what, I don't know if you want to use your pass there
33:20Okay
33:21Why don't we all, after this is done
33:23We'll all just watch the Poseidon Adventure together
33:26I would love that
33:27I would love that
33:31Nick, have you ever been on a cruise?
33:33I've never been on a cruise
33:35Never?
33:36Never
33:36I've been on a boat
33:37I went with my family
33:39Sure
33:40I've been on a few boats
33:42I went with my family to the Galapagos
33:44Oh
33:46On a boat?
33:47On a boat
33:48And it was a boat
33:49But I wouldn't know
33:49I don't know if it would be a cruise
33:52I don't know
33:53It was like a 50 to 60 person boat
33:57Okay
33:57Is that a cruise?
33:58Were there other people on board?
34:00Yes
34:00Okay
34:01Yes, it was a booze cruise
34:03It was a Galapagos booze cruise
34:05The Galapagos
34:05Those are islands with turtles, is that right?
34:08Yes
34:08And Charles Darwin was down there?
34:09Yep
34:09And he put it all together?
34:11Yep
34:12That's great
34:12But that would have had a purpose
34:13The purpose was to go to the Galapagos
34:15Exactly
34:15So it would have been a cruise
34:17Because you said the Titanic
34:17Because we were watching upstairs
34:19And so when you said that the Titanic
34:21Wasn't a cruise
34:21I just have questions about it
34:23But I don't want to take over
34:24No, please take over
34:25Absolutely
34:26So what do you mean by that?
34:27I'm just so interested
34:29Well back in the old days of the ocean line
34:31You say we're transportation, right?
34:33Carrying people from one point to the next
34:35And cruise ships go to a variety of destinations
34:38And the goal is to have a lot of fun
34:41When you're on board
34:42It's not necessarily like taking an airplane
34:45But the QE2 today is a cruise ship
34:47Right?
34:48Yeah, it's an example of something
34:51Yeah, it's like
34:52There are exceptions to what she said
34:58You poked a hole right in there
34:59By the way, on the QE2
35:00If you start in London
35:02Every day is 25 hours
35:04You gain an hour every single day across the ocean
35:08Damn
35:08One reason, you live longer
35:10Oh, that's nice
35:11Oh, I know
35:11That's why you ride the QE2
35:13Hey, Richard?
35:14Yes
35:14Keep the QE2's name out your fucking mouth
35:17Yeah
35:20Question
35:21On ocean liners
35:23We're talking disasters
35:24We're talking cruise ships
35:25On a commercial cruise ship
35:28Does the captain go down with the ship were it to sink?
35:32Well, they don't sink very often
35:35Whoa
35:35So
35:36Judgmental tone at me
35:37I know, I know
35:38Don't they sink sometimes?
35:40Well, any ship can sink, right?
35:43Poseidon Adventure
35:44Yeah, Poseidon Adventure
35:45But the captain should stay on board
35:48The captain should stay on board until everyone is off
35:51Hey, Samo
35:52This is Samo, by the way
35:58Samo is a serve robotic delivery cart robot
36:01You see many of these around mainly West Hollywood
36:04Yes
36:04They're often going uphill from Bristol Farms
36:07Trying to bring Scott Kahn his treats
36:10I don't know
36:11Does anyone want anything?
36:14There's Gatorade, there's soda, there's
36:16Oh, that's very funny
36:18Someone put Dramon
36:19Well, I was gonna
36:20Do you have a bubbly water?
36:22A bubbly water? Let me see
36:23What kind of soda?
36:24This is still
36:24Yeah, what kind of sodas you got?
36:26They Greek'd it, so
36:28That means they covered it in a fake label
36:30That looks fake as hell
36:31So it's some kind of cola
36:31This is an original cola if you want
36:33This looks like a Nickelodeon
36:34Yeah
36:34When they used to have to give out the little fake things to iCarly's
36:38This doesn't look real
36:39I'll pass down a variety of things
36:41Okay
36:41That's obviously yellow Gatorade
36:43Greek it however you want
36:45That ain't a Powerade, that's a Gatorade
36:47Come on
36:47I don't want that
36:48Waste of my time
36:51I don't want that
36:52So the captain is supposed to stay on until everyone's off
36:55Exactly
36:55I think it's a moral obligation of the captain to stay on board
36:59But there's not much of a
37:00Is there a code between cruise ship captains as there would be in other maritime
37:05A code?
37:06A code of like
37:07Like a secret handshake?
37:09No I mean we stay with it
37:10Do they feel they are responsible for the lives of all
37:13Are they just kind of like oh here's you know
37:15No they are
37:16Here's a bad production of grease
37:17Alright
37:18They are responsible for everyone on board
37:20Yeah
37:21The buck stops with the captain
37:22The buck stops with the captain
37:23I like that
37:25Ladies and gentlemen let's take our first call as a group
37:28We have Joshua from Fort Worth, Texas
37:32Joshua how you doing?
37:33You're on Everybody's Live with Nick Kroll, Quinta Brunson, Ben Stiller and Kalosh
37:37Samo Robot, Richard Kine
37:38Hi Josh
37:41Howdy y'all
37:41Hey good to be here man
37:43Just to give you some feedback
37:44I'll take you back
37:45I used to be a cruise director
37:47And this was the Alaska season back in 2014
37:50And we notify crew and guests by a public announcement system on board right
37:55We tell them emergencies that are taking place or how to prepare for emergencies
37:59Or if there's a crew response that needs to go handle a situation
38:02Well the crew responses are based on codes of the ship
38:07So we have like for example code alpha would be for medical emergencies
38:10Okay
38:11So you have to send the medical team
38:12Alright
38:13Then we have code delta
38:14That's for damage
38:15So we're going to go send probably chief engineer, staff captain
38:19Go look at the damage of the hole
38:20Okay
38:20Okay
38:21Josh sorry to interrupt
38:22Is there code sigma for badass dudes like me, John and Ben?
38:28Yeah actually you have to look in the Keir handbook for that one
38:32Yeah you gotta dig a little deep
38:33Josh I forgot to include Richard
38:35And Richard yeah
38:37Badass
38:38Josh
38:39Yes
38:40Hey Josh
38:41Is there a code for iceberg right ahead?
38:45Did they like invent that after that happened?
38:49There's just really specific code for more like response stuff
38:52But I want to get into one code that's really important for the story
38:55There's no code yet
38:56And this code is
38:57There's not
38:59Josh sorry what's the code you want to just tell us about?
39:02It's code PAPA
39:03And this stands for pollution
39:05Okay now pollution is usually like large oil spill or chemical
39:08Y'all following?
39:10Oh
39:11Oh
39:11Oh we're following
39:12Sure
39:12Okay
39:13Alright
39:14So we're sailing to Juneau one night
39:16I just left crew bars
39:17Oh Juneau is beautiful
39:18And this is
39:19Josh this is Alaska
39:20This is Alaska season 2014
39:23This is Alaska yeah
39:24We're sailing to Juneau
39:25Okay sorry I just left one
39:26This night
39:26Okay
39:27Yeah this is at 4am okay
39:30And um
39:31I get attacked in my cabin
39:33I'm settling down
39:34And I hear a ding ding
39:35And the PA says it's active
39:37I'm like oh sad
39:39Probably mental emergency
39:40Been here
39:40Heard this before
39:41I don't respond to it
39:42I'm going to sleep
39:43Right
39:44Less color more story
39:45Come on come on come on
39:46Okay
39:48There's a Serbian voice that comes over the passage
39:50The announcement system
39:51It goes
39:52Code PAPA
39:53Code PAPA
39:54Code PAPA
39:54Deck 10 starboard ship
39:56Starboard side midship
39:58And I'm like
39:58Okay why or how is that called?
40:00Well
40:00We have a lot of eyes in the sky
40:02This eyes in the sky
40:03We got security
40:04I'm sorry
40:04All right I'm done
40:05I'm very sorry
40:10You seem like a good guy
40:13But you've told the story a lot
40:15And you've added little tags
40:16And it's become a yarn
40:18And we don't have time for yarn
40:21I do apologize it's a little rude
40:24But also it's rude to waste the whole globe's time
40:32Okay I'm going to take line one
40:34Is that a stressful moment when he's going on like that for you?
40:38A hundred percent because he might be getting somewhere great
40:41Yeah
40:42And I'd be denying this audience and the audience watching at home and all of you a great story
40:47Yeah
40:48And this is a top ten Netflix show right now
40:52Yeah
40:53At the moment?
40:54At the moment?
40:55I don't
40:55But
40:56I think at the moment it's safe to say
40:58Can you check on your phone?
41:00Yeah
41:00Okay
41:00Yeah go ahead
41:01Does being live on Netflix means that right now anybody who's watching Netflix has to watch this show?
41:09Oh that would be great
41:11Shoot
41:12We got to get
41:12We got to ask them about that
41:14It's only if they choose to watch
41:15No we're like an option like how you like Monday Night Raw
41:18I'm literally watching the show right now
41:21Oh wow
41:21Oh wow
41:23Hey hey
41:24If you guys at home are watching the show right now
41:27Isn't that crazy?
41:28Watch the show let's get it in the top ten
41:31Let's get it
41:31If you're watching you keep it
41:32Stop streaming suits
41:34I'm doing my first
41:35Stop it
41:36Okay
41:37Okay but do some Abbott tonight cause the episode just came with me
41:39There's an episode
41:40There's an episode of Abbott tonight
41:41Watch Abbott
41:42And also
41:43And then 2006
41:45And then also Doctor Odyssey
41:48Yeah
41:48A show about a cruise ship doctor
41:49Yeah
41:50Have you seen that show?
41:51Right
41:51I've seen trailers for that show
41:53Oh she don't like that show
41:54Yeah she don't like that show
41:55She said I'm not getting on no fucking boat with nobody
41:58Joshua fucking Jackson
42:00To be in the pilot
42:01I feel you girl cause me neither
42:03I would never get on that boat
42:04No?
42:04I would never get on a boat
42:05I would never get on a cruise ever
42:07Wow
42:08Wow
42:09Have you always felt that way?
42:10Always
42:11Always since I was a child
42:12There's no reason for me to be in the middle of the ocean
42:15If I want to go to a hotel I will go to the Four Seasons in Philadelphia
42:19It's a beautiful hotel
42:21I don't enjoy the idea of being on a cruise
42:24With the Disney cruise with the characters and they come out
42:27I can go to Disneyland and do that
42:28I just don't see the reason
42:30But I got a cruise from my parents and my dad and mom really really like it
42:34So I support cruises but you won't catch me on one
42:38Would you go with your parents?
42:40No girl I'm not getting on a cruise
42:41I don't like them
42:44I don't like
42:45You're trapped
42:46You're trapped
42:47Are you kidding me?
42:48And I just it's too long
42:49Oh what about I got one for you remember
42:51Sorry John
42:52No go ahead please
42:54Remember that time all those people were trapped in the cruise
42:57And then
42:57The Poseidon Adventure
42:59No no
43:01Twice actually
43:02What was it called?
43:03The Carnival
43:04Uh
43:05What boat was that where people got a stomach illness and they were stuck
43:08Oh no
43:09Oh the stomach illness
43:10Yeah
43:10And then a bunch of people got STDs and a bunch of people STDs
43:16Wow
43:17Wait are you talking about that?
43:19Ann
43:20Ann
43:21This is going to come up a lot so I do want to say
43:23How do you respond to people that go
43:25Oh cruises that's where everyone gets stuck and gets sick and things like that
43:29Yes
43:30So it is a really big misconception because cruise ships are the only industry that have to report when there's
43:37stomach illness
43:37It's the most second most common disease after the common cold right?
43:43Like regular hotels don't have to be like everybody fucking puked last night
43:46Correct
43:47Right
43:48Now if I'm a
43:49When Richard's at Harrah's in Tahoe on some awful golf trip
43:53You guys don't have to say what's happening in the bathroom
43:55Yeah
43:56We do not have to say it no we don't have to report
43:57But the thing is that you're right if it's just a small small percentage
44:02But there are other reasons
44:04Guenta says and she's right
44:06Where people don't like cruises
44:09Mm-hmm
44:09And I
44:11I went on one
44:12It was Denny's on the sea
44:13It was awful
44:14Yeah
44:15Awful
44:15Breakfast all day?
44:17What are we talking about?
44:18Dirty
44:19You know when you walk on a carpet barefoot?
44:21It's smooth
44:23Awful
44:24Awful
44:24Awful
44:25Awful
44:26Awful
44:27Okay we have to take a short break
44:29We'll be right back after this message
44:31You have commercials?
44:32Awful
44:33Um
44:34So the
44:35And the executive officer played by Denzel Washington
44:41Said do you realize what can happen without authorization?
44:44Boom
44:45What do you got?
44:46Nuclear war
44:47World War III
44:48And blow up the planet
44:50Captain Ramsey's under arrest
44:52Lock him in his stateroom
44:53Gene Hackman says we know the Navy is never wrong
44:56God help you if you're wrong
44:57If I'm wrong then we're at war
45:01God help us all
45:02And in the end they're both in a board of inquiry before the Admiral
45:08Now you may have been proven right Mr. Hunter
45:11But in this case you are both right
45:15And you are also
45:17Both wrong
45:19I think that everybody is potentially a decent human good human being
45:25The majority of people in this world want to make it better
45:29A good person
45:30A decent person
45:31Which we all should be
45:32Which is the essence of religion
45:34For me
45:35But Gene Hackman was wrong
45:37Except that you know the
45:39I'm not here to defend Gene
45:41The Gene Hackman character because I agree with you
45:43But there's a little bit of right in that
45:46I've seen that about ten times
45:48It's on Netflix I believe
45:55Welcome back
45:57Welcome back to everybody's live
46:00We're live around the world
46:01We're talking cruise ships
46:02I'm here with Ben Stiller
46:03Quinta Brunson
46:03Nick Kroll
46:04And Kalosh cruise industry expert
46:06Our topic is cruises
46:07I'm going to get to some calls
46:09In short fashion here
46:10Line one
46:11We have Richard in Saguaro, New York
46:15Richard
46:16It's John Mulaney
46:17You're on everybody's live
46:18What's up?
46:20Hey, John
46:21Hey, I've been on a lot of cruises before
46:23And I've never had nothing really crazy happen to me
46:25And I always had a great time
46:27But check this out
46:28Four years ago
46:29Me and my wife
46:29We went on this cruise, dude
46:32And we had a time of our lives
46:33You went on what?
46:34And it broke up
46:35What was it?
46:36A kiss cruise
46:38A kiss cruise?
46:39A kiss cruise
46:40Like the band?
46:40Yeah, with the band Kiss
46:41And I've always been a fan since I was a kid
46:44And to get on the boat
46:45When everyone shared the same passion
46:47It was wearing makeup and everything
46:48It was a time of our lives
46:50Wait, okay
46:51Richard
46:53How long was the kiss cruise?
46:55It was for five days
46:57Five days of everyone dressed like Kiss?
47:00Yeah, it was almost like that, really
47:02It was like a Halloween party
47:04I don't know if you could imagine it
47:05But all these people together
47:06Wearing Kiss makeup
47:08That's right
47:08Absolutely crazy
47:09And I've always been a fan since I was a kid
47:12To go on the boat
47:13And everyone shared the same passion
47:15It was just a fantastic time
47:16So, like, you wake up and it's like
47:18You do what?
47:20You sing Detroit Rock City
47:21And then I want to rock and roll all night
47:23And then repeat?
47:26It was kind of like that
47:27I mean, you meet and greet with the bands
47:29They were on the boat
47:31Yeah, was Gene Simmons on the boat?
47:34Yeah, he was
47:35He actually noticed my tattoo pointed to it
47:38And he goes, ah, cool
47:39And I was like, oh, man
47:40It meant so much to me
47:41It was so cool
47:42That's really sweet
47:43That's really memorable
47:43He said, ah, cool
47:44That's really sweet
47:45That's great
47:46Gene's a good man
47:47And a friend of the show
47:49No
47:49Richard
47:50Any questions for Richard?
47:51I mean, Richard
47:52This story is making me so happy
47:54Because I can tell how happy it made you
47:56I have a question for Richard
47:57Yeah, it was really exciting
47:58Richard, have you ever
47:59Have you seen that movie WALL-E?
48:01The Pixar movie?
48:03It's just WALL-E
48:04WALL-E?
48:05Have you seen
48:06How do you pronounce it?
48:07How do you pronounce it?
48:08Is it WALL-E?
48:09Or is it WALL-E?
48:11WALL-E?
48:11It's WALL-E
48:12Okay
48:14Alright, thanks, man
48:15I appreciate that
48:16Right
48:17No, I did have a question, though
48:19About WALL-E
48:19You know, because like
48:20You go up into that ship
48:22Mm-hmm
48:22And it's like a cruise
48:23It's really, I guess for you as well
48:25You know, they're on this
48:26Like, spaceship cruise, right?
48:28Mm-hmm
48:28And they're like
48:29All in their own little carts
48:31And there's like robots
48:33Serving drinks and food
48:34And you don't have to do anything
48:36And like
48:37Like
48:38Would that be
48:39Would that be a fun cruise to go on?
48:42A WALL-E theme
48:43Oh, no, I mean the actual WALL-E cruise
48:46Like, not a theme
48:47Like
48:48If everyone's in Kiss makeup
48:49Because it meant a lot to him
48:50Because he became a fan
48:52When he was a kid
48:53As opposed to those mature adults
48:55Who are drawn to Kiss
48:57Richard, I
48:58You know, Kiss is like
48:59Kiss fascinates me
49:00Because it was so much more
49:01About the money than the music
49:03And I think that that's like
49:04I think that's genuinely interesting
49:06Yeah
49:06Like, few artists say that
49:08Like, we were such good marketers
49:10And so
49:11I'm really happy that they did a cruise
49:13And that all of you got together
49:14Mm-hmm
49:15Did your wife have a good time?
49:19What was that, John?
49:20Did your wife have a good time
49:21On the Kiss cruise?
49:23Yes, we did
49:24We had asked
49:25We actually got to meet
49:26Some of the members of the band
49:27And stuff like that
49:28And it was just one big party boat
49:29Did Gene Simmons say anything to you
49:30About your tattoo?
49:32Or
49:33He just
49:33He just
49:34He lifted his thumb up
49:36And he said
49:36Yeah
49:38Richard, I love you
49:39This is a great story
49:40I'm gonna jump
49:41I got one more caller
49:43James
49:43Is this James Anderson in New York?
49:46Yes, it is
49:47Hello, James
49:48Legendary Saturday Night Live writer
49:49James Anderson has called in
49:51Hi, James
49:54Hey, John
49:56Would you tell us about your cruise ship experience?
49:59Yeah, when I first moved to New York
50:01I was a dancer on a cruise ship
50:03I auditioned and got a part of a dancer on a cruise ship
50:06It was in the 80s
50:07And they
50:08There was the day that we had to learn our lifeboat duties
50:12And they took us down
50:14And showed us the lifeboat
50:16And then they said
50:17Well, here's where the food rations are
50:19Here's where the flare gun is
50:21And here's where the gun is
50:23The gun gun
50:24And I was like
50:25The gun gun
50:26I was like
50:26Well, what is this gun for?
50:28And they're like
50:29If someone freaks out
50:30Or
50:31You know, becomes detrimental to everyone in the lifeboat
50:34You would just
50:36You know
50:36There it is
50:37And then you would toss them overboard
50:39So that everyone
50:41And you the dancer were in charge of this?
50:43Yes
50:44Yes
50:45Oh my god, James
50:47Yes, and that went through my
50:48That went through my mind
50:49Because I was like
50:50I just was thinking of what I was wearing in the show
50:53And it was like this sparkle top that went wrist to waist
50:56And it was just like
50:57It was just like
50:59You know
50:59Flying squirrel wings from wrist to waist sparkle top
51:03And I'm like
51:03And now here I am
51:06You know
51:07With this dude
51:08Did you ever have to kill anyone on the boat then?
51:14No
51:14I never had to
51:16I never had to do that
51:18I'm so grateful
51:20I may have
51:20Sorry?
51:21I may have killed them with a song, A Sour Note
51:28I bet if you did a split kick in front of those crowds they would faint
51:33And I
51:34And they would be lucky to be gunned down by you and thrown in the ocean like Osama Bin Laden
51:40Okay
51:41I'll talk to you soon James, thank you so much for calling
51:44Okay, thanks John
51:44Love you buddy
51:45Okay
51:46Go ahead
51:47So would the Osama Bin Laden being thrown into the water
51:50Sure
51:50Would that be considered a cruise?
51:52Or was there
51:53Or is there too much of a purpose for that ship?
51:57Gotta think about that
51:59That's a philosophical question
52:00Yeah
52:01We will be back with more after this message
52:05Yay
52:13Hello, I'm Jerica, your Netflix AI executive assistant
52:18It looks like in the past 10 days you've watched
52:21Bad stand-up special
52:23Good stand-up special
52:25Dog shit special
52:26Absolute dog shit special
52:28As well as multiple series where the main character is
52:32A sad girl
52:33A short girl
52:34A short girl
52:35A whole school
52:36A dinner girl
52:37We are thrilled that you are enjoying the diversity of our programming
52:42Based on your complex viewing habits
52:44I feel like you might be interested in an eight part documentary about a fucking loser who collects
52:50Farbys
52:51Y resulta ser
52:52Secretly gay
52:53Secretly gay
52:54You may also enjoy a
52:57Eating show
52:58Petite bald twins real estate show
53:00Or movies like
53:02Big names and bad stuff
53:04And ssssmall names and Christmas stuff
53:06Christmas stuff
53:07And if you do, you're guaranteed to love
53:10Expensive show executive produced by Barack Obama
53:14The Joe Tori Kennedy Center thing
53:17Tell me where you would like to begin
53:19Simply by saying something like
53:21Jerica, do you have anything that's set in the south but also somehow Korean?
53:25It's as easy as that
53:27Let me know how I may best assist you in maximizing your Netflix experience
53:32And happy viewing
53:37We were honored to welcome them both solo
53:42But now performing for the first time together anywhere
53:46Their song Little Trouble Girl from Sonic Youth's album Washing Machine
53:50Please, it's our honor welcome Kim Gordon and Kim Deal
54:06If you want me to I will be the one That is always good
54:21And you'll love me too But you'll never know
54:30Why I feel inside That I'm really bad Little Trouble Girl
54:48Remember mother? We were close Very, very close
55:00You taught me how to fit in good Float and laugh, you understood
55:10Curl my hair and I laugh Pinch my cheeks and do my lips
55:17Sha la la la la
55:20Swing my hips just like you Sha la la la
55:24Smile and behave Sha la la la
55:29A circle of perfection Is what you gave Sha la la la
55:37Then one day I met a guy He stole my heart, no alibi
55:42Sha la la la
55:44He said Romance is a ticket to paradise Sha la la la
55:54Mama, I'm not too young to try
56:01We kissed, we hugged
56:05We were close
56:09Very, very close
56:15We danced in the sand
56:17And the water rose
56:19Higher and higher
56:21Until I find myself floating
56:24In the sky
56:27I'm sorry, Mother
56:29I'd rather fight
56:31Than have to lie
56:32If you want me to
56:38I will be the one
56:42That is always good
56:47And you'll love me too
56:52But you'll never know
56:57What I feel inside
57:01That I'm really bad
57:07Little trouble, girl
57:12Little trouble, girl
57:14Little trouble, girl
57:15Cross my heart and hope to die
57:17Little trouble, girl
57:19I cannot tell a lie
57:21Little trouble, girl
57:24Little trouble, girl
57:34Thank you
57:36Thank you so much, Kim Gordon and Kim Deal
57:39You can catch them each on tour this spring
57:42Thank you, everybody
57:43And thanks to our guests
57:44Ben Stiller
57:45Quinta Brunson
57:46Nick Kroll
57:47Anne Kalash
57:48Silk the Shocker
57:50Vanessa Bear
57:51Rabbi Goldstein
57:52And as always
57:53Rabbi Kind
57:55We've got ten more shows
57:56See you next week
57:57Bye-bye
58:27Bye-bye
58:58...
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