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00:06I can make my world come true
00:08All my dreams will see me through
00:11Doesn't matter what, make up my way
00:14Believe me now, I will win someday
00:22Must be an easier way to earn pocket money, your niece
00:28Mike, the new ghost here
00:36Come in
00:37Hello
00:39Yes
00:41I tried
00:43Yes
00:49Don't worry, Elaine
00:51We'll help you
00:52For a small fee
00:57Elaine, you're right
00:58Thank you
00:59Oh dear
01:03Hi, Elaine
01:04I'm Alice
01:05You two will be sharing a room
01:09Oh good, my crystal says you're really nice
01:11I am going to like it here
01:14I can feel really positive vibes
01:24What's up, Marco?
01:25Someone at your spaceship
01:27It's Mother's Day tomorrow
01:29I know, but at least you've got her say
01:31Thanks, but I need a mum
01:33Me too
01:33No, I really need a mum
01:37A Mother's Day special
01:38A free potted plant for every mum who visits our shop
01:41You want a potted plant?
01:42And a free inflatable alien for any child with her
01:47I've wanted an alien for ages
01:49Can't Mrs Boxer take you?
01:50No, she's in Scotland looking for the Loch Ness Monster
01:53This person just have to forget it
01:55Mum's don't exactly grow on trees round here
02:18So, what did you think of Elaine?
02:21My crystal says she's really nice
02:23Really?
02:24Really?
02:24We all think she's a pain
02:27Maybe it just needs polishing
02:33Guess what?
02:34I've got a really wobbly tooth
02:35Do you think my tooth fairy will find me now I've moved?
02:38Don't worry
02:39Mike always gives us a pound
02:42That's really nice of him
02:43But I'm not sure Willow Heather would like that
03:11Chocolate biscuit?
03:12Oh, lovely
03:13Um, what have I forgotten?
03:17Oh, my, I've lost a new girl
03:18Chill out, Elaine
03:19She's with Mike
03:21You really need help, Elaine
03:22I know
03:23Everything just seems to be getting on top of me lately
03:25I just don't seem to be able to cope anymore
03:27I'm on a rollercoaster of mayhem and disaster
03:29Even simple things seem to go past me
03:31And get a grip and sort your life out
03:33Before you completely crack up
03:52Elaine, stop moaning and sort yourself out
03:55You're right
03:57I have to do something
04:00Thank you, Justine
04:01I'm going to change my life
04:02Go for it
04:03Say goodbye to the old Elaine
04:04And hello to the new
04:07Where's my coat?
04:12Good morning
04:13Marco
04:14Wake up
04:21Stop panic
04:22It's us
04:24Happy Mother's Day
04:25Today is your lucky day
04:27Which mum do you want?
04:29Don't choose him
04:29He's got a big bum
04:30Well, at least I haven't got hair and legs
04:34Choose me
04:34And get a lifetime supply of chocolate cakes
04:37It's up to you, Marco Maloney
04:38Pick your mum
04:39And get your alien
04:41Can't even remember what my mum looks like
04:44Come on, Marco
04:45We're better than nothing
04:47OK
04:48You're too small
04:50Your clothes are horrible
04:52You're too scary
04:54It'll have to be you
04:55Even though you need a shave
04:57Oh, yes
04:58Yes
05:01He didn't choose you lot, did he?
05:07This mirror will balance up the yi and the yang
05:10Oh, is that good?
05:12Very
05:13Now let's put the tooth in
05:16Oh no, don't put it there
05:18It's really bad feng shui
05:19Can we put it right in the middle
05:21So the energy flows smoothly around it
05:24I want everything to be perfect for Willow, Heather
05:27Oi, new girl
05:29Hi, I'm Alice
05:32What's that pile of junk?
05:34Um, a fairy palace
05:35Oh, great
05:36Another weirdo
05:38Pardon?
05:38Only babies believe in rubbish like that
05:41Don't be so mean, Roxy
05:43Ooh, I'm scared
05:45Don't set the fairies on me
05:47They might bite my kneecaps
05:50Don't worry about her
05:53She's alright
05:54She seems quite nice, really
05:56Maybe she just needs her aura cleansed
06:04Quick, hide!
06:08Elaine Boyack
06:12It's sorted
06:14Goodbye
06:20Is that Elaine?
06:23No
06:24It can't be
06:35Good morning, everyone
06:37Elaine
06:37Then you improved Elaine
06:39But you look fantastic
06:41Well, thank you
06:43After speaking to Justine
06:45I decided to see a life coach
06:46Which I'm sure you'll agree will benefit us all
06:49Now, as it's Mother's Day
06:51Inevitably a difficult day for children in care
06:54I've prepared a few treats
06:57Enjoy
06:58Mmm, my favourite
07:00Mine too
07:01Hey, Alice, no fairy cakes
07:03Nice one, Justine
07:04Thanks
07:05I'm a miracle worker
07:06I've totally transformed the woman
07:08It'll land in tears
07:14I don't know if this is such a good idea
07:16I mean, I just don't feel really very mumsy
07:20But Bouncy, you promised
07:21I've been a bit of a twist
07:22Oh, OK
07:24But you lot gotta stay outside
07:25And no peeping
07:27Mum's the word
07:29Mum
07:30And no taking the mickey
07:34Now, listen carefully, everyone
07:35I've some important changes to announce
07:37Firstly, I shall be introducing compulsory fitness sessions
07:41Cool
07:41Compulsory?
07:42In your dreams
07:44A healthy body makes a healthy mind, Roxy
07:46She'll have to catch me first
07:47Thank you
07:48And secondly, I shall be inspecting your bedrooms later on this afternoon
07:52Cluttered, untidy rooms reflect cluttered, untidy lives
07:56Unfortunately, pocket money will have to be withheld
07:59Until the right attitude is attained
08:11What?
08:17Thank you
08:19Here you are, sir
08:22Can I have an alien, please?
08:24Oh, not you again
08:25Look, I told you yesterday
08:28This is a Mother's Day promotion
08:30And for that, believe it or not
08:31You need to bring your mother
08:33But I have
08:40Well, hello
08:48How about a nice romantic dinner, sweetheart?
08:51I'm on a diet
08:53I know a place where they do wonderful salads
08:55I'm allergic to lettuce
08:57One leaf
08:58And I go all puffy
08:59Like a big puffy puffball
09:00It's not a pretty sight, really
09:02And then there's the 50% chance of me exploding
09:05Oh, you're funny, too
09:08I like that in a woman
09:11Well, you wouldn't like my little monkeys
09:13They come with me wherever I go
09:36Mummy, we're hungry
09:38Can you have some crisps?
09:40Please, Mummy
09:40No
09:41What lovely children
09:42Go on, give us your number
09:44Oh, come on, children
09:45We really must be leaving now
09:47Don't be shy
09:47I think you're a lovely lady
09:50Oi, get off
09:51I mean, er
09:52Oi, get off
09:54You're not a woman
09:55Right, come on
09:56I haven't got time for these silly games
09:57Out of my shop
09:58Wait
09:59Please don't be angry
10:00He's only dressed up
10:01Because I haven't got a mum
10:03What's it mean?
10:04We live in a care home
10:05Oh, I see
10:08Well, you should have just told me
10:09In the first place
10:13What?
10:13I still have the alien
10:17Go on, then
10:18Thanks
10:22We don't have mums, either
10:24Yes
10:32Neither do I
10:36I'll have a pot of plant, though
10:37It's all the same
10:39Thanks, sweetheart
10:42Recycle, rubbish
10:43Recycle, don't need
10:44This is so empowering, isn't it, Alice?
10:47Um, yes
10:48Clearing out all this unnecessary baggage
10:49You're the only unnecessary baggage around here
10:52Yeah, rubbish
10:54I'm extremely immature
10:57You don't mind me inspecting your room first, do you, Alice?
10:59Uh, no
11:02Whoa
11:05This is well spooky
11:11Where is everything?
11:12And everyone
11:16I think I might know where they've gone
11:19Take me to the Malida, my gun
11:39This is all your fault, Justine Littlewood
11:43Oh, what have I done now?
11:45The new alien threw away Alice's fairy palace
11:49Look, I don't want any faults
11:51It's okay
11:52Here, look
11:54I managed to save my tooth
11:55Oh, no
11:58I've created a monster
12:25Elaine
12:26Now, doesn't this look better
12:28More efficient and smoother running
12:31It's called streetlining
12:33No, it isn't
12:34It's called messing with other people's dreams
12:37This is Alice's fairy palace
12:39And you threw it out
12:40While you were cleaning out the clutter
12:43The older Elaine might have been a total muppet
12:47But she'd never do something like that
12:56There you go, Alice
12:59Thanks, Elaine
13:00Thanks, Justine
13:02Good, isn't you?
13:04Oh, dear
13:05Don't worry
13:06I'll do that
13:08Shall I be mum?
13:10Would you like a cup of tea, Elaine?
13:11Yes, please
13:12Bounce so you can stop now, please
13:16Elaine!
13:17Elaine!
13:19Elaine!
13:20Sorry
13:22Sorry
13:25Don't go changing channels
13:26I know where you live
13:29How could you do this to me?
13:31Tracy, will you?
13:33Calm down
13:34It's disgusting
13:36What's going on?
13:37Say what you just said to me
13:38Go on
13:39I want someone to witness what you just said
13:41Tracy, would you like to go away for the weekend?
13:43Can you believe this?
13:45I can
13:45Elaine, what were you thinking?
13:47It's not funny
13:48It's with me and Gary
13:49Oh
13:50Is that so bad?
13:51It's terrible
13:53Look, I just want the three of us to go away and have a lovely time
13:57But I can't have a lovely time if he's there!
14:04Fine
14:05Haven't you got some packing to do?
14:31So, you've upset Cam
14:33And you've done yourself out of a weekend away
14:36Not a bad morning's work, Tracy
14:38Don't you think you're being a little unreasonable?
14:41Go after her and say you were wrong
14:42Why should I?
14:44Because it's about time you started thinking of others
14:46You're just being childish
15:05Childish? Me?
15:06Who do they think they are?
15:07Well, it's Cam's fault
15:08How could she even think of going away with Gary instead of me?
15:11But she didn't
15:11It's all, oh, I'll do what I want now, Tracy
15:13You can please yourself
15:14It's all Gary this and Gary that
15:15I mean, I can't believe she choose him over me
15:17What is she thinking?
15:18He's not even that funny
15:19And I've seen better looking camels
15:20I wouldn't mind if he was rich and had a decent haircut
15:22And he's a shape
15:22Because he knows what race they're for
15:23Can't believe she choose him over me
15:24I mean, why should I apologise?
15:26Are you two listening?
15:28Uh, yeah, of course
15:29Well, if I think I'm being childish
15:31I'm going to give them exactly what they want
15:32They're about to be beacered like they've never been beacered before
15:37Glad we could help
15:52Everything all right, Elaine?
15:53Mm-hmm
16:10All right
16:11Who did this?
16:13Roxy?
16:15Typical
16:15Anything bad happened, blame her well hard
16:18It wasn't me, right?
16:20What about you, Tracy?
16:22Mike
16:22Mike, I can honestly say with my hand on my heart
16:25He had absolutely nothing to do with me
16:29What?
16:32Busted
16:32What are you, Tracy?
16:35What are you, Tracy?
16:37Yeah
16:41Come back here
16:44You're dead
16:56Mike?
16:58Mike?
17:01Whoa
17:02Since when do I wear tweed?
17:06What do you want?
17:09What's going on?
17:12Don't start on me
17:13I didn't do nothing
17:14I mean, what are you wearing?
17:17You can't tell me what to wear just because you reckon you're in charge
17:20I'm not in charge
17:20Yeah, you got that right
17:21But
17:22Talk to the hand
17:28Can?
17:29Can?
17:30There's any
17:30What?
17:31What are you doing here?
17:32You being funny?
17:33No
17:34I live here
17:35Er, where are you going?
17:37Anywhere away from here
17:38And by that, I mean away from you
17:40Please don't go
17:41I need to talk to you
17:43Well, I don't want to talk to you
17:46The world's gone mad
18:02I don't want to talk to you
18:24Oh, hey, Tracy.
18:25Oh, Mike, thank goodness you're normal.
18:29I just think so.
18:30The whole place has gone topsy-turvy.
18:34Something's never changed.
18:35This is awful.
18:37That is totally what I'm called for.
18:41What?
18:43You're supposed to be supporting me, Tracy P.
18:46Girl.
18:46All I want to be when I grow up is a chef.
18:50And all you ever give is criticism.
18:56Well, if that's the case, there's only one place for it.
19:27Is anyone going to get that?
19:33Oh, dear, I'm telling you, Tracy, these kids have been driving me mad.
19:37OK.
19:38I give up.
19:39Who are you supposed to be?
19:40Ooh, cool badge.
19:42Latest gimmick from head office.
19:44Come on, you better start getting your act together.
19:47What?
19:48Do I have to spell it out?
19:50Uh, yeah, that might help.
19:52Well, you are head care worker.
19:55I'm head care worker?
19:56Yeah.
19:58And it's about time you start and put on your weight around here.
20:00These kids have been running me ragged for hours, especially Marco.
20:04Marco?
20:05He's sweet.
20:07Bonkers, but sweet.
20:08He's a teenager from hell.
20:10Teenager?
20:12Here we go again.
20:13Come on, I need backup this time.
20:24Right.
20:26That is enough.
20:27Did you two hear me?
20:29Tracy Beaker, shut your big fat gob.
20:33But Millie, you don't even speak.
20:35You're joking.
20:36She's the goriest kid in the house.
20:37She got that right, Munchkin.
20:40Quiet!
20:41Right.
20:42As I'm in charge, apparently, I want this place tidied up.
20:46So, you two, clean the windows until I can see my face in them.
20:49What for?
20:50It'll only crack them.
20:53Oh, you think that's funny?
20:54Well, after the windows, you can sort out the mess you made in the kitchen
20:57and then do the upstairs bathrooms.
21:00No way.
21:02Yes, way.
21:03Well, you'll have no dinner and television will be banned for life.
21:06And that's just me getting started.
21:09You can't do that!
21:10Oh, I'm sorry.
21:11Hands up all head care workers in the room.
21:16Oh, just me then.
21:18Good.
21:18Get on with it.
21:21Ah, this includes you, too.
21:23Er, I don't think so.
21:24I'm going out with my mates later.
21:26No, you're not.
21:27Privileges are cancelled.
21:28I'm so gonna get you back for this.
21:32Well, I've got the power and I'm enjoying it.
21:36I'm literally living the dream, Roxy.
21:37This is a piece of cake.
21:44I just wanted you to take a look at the kids' menus for this week.
21:47I'm gonna need a bit of an increase on the budget.
21:48I just don't know where the food goes.
21:51What?
21:52You.
21:53Um, your, um, size.
21:57Yeah, I know.
21:58I have lost a few pounds.
21:59That's because I've got snacks in between meals.
22:05Um, what are you doing?
22:07Clattering my staff.
22:08I've been sacked.
22:09By who?
22:10Me.
22:11And what in the name of McFly are you?
22:13I'm the Children's Home Inspector.
22:15Your boss.
22:16No.
22:17Not you.
22:18Anyone but you.
22:19And this is my fellow Inspector.
22:20Crash.
22:22That's Mr Crash to you.
22:26Cover up him, please, darling.
22:28Darling?
22:29Customer greeting for a fiancée.
22:32You're getting married?
22:33To her?
22:35Tomorrow.
22:36Not that it's any of your business, Miss Beaker.
22:38You've got to be joking.
22:40You can't marry her.
22:59All right, um, I think it's time for my inspection now.
23:03Where are the children?
23:04In the lounge.
23:05Tidying up.
23:05I'm on a tight ship here.
23:09And it looks like they've just gone overboard.
23:23Stop that.
23:25This looks more like a sinking ship to me, Miss Beaker.
23:28But it's not my fault.
23:29They're out of control.
23:30Now, it's a poor social worker who blames their children.
23:34Right, will somebody please tell me what's going on?
23:36We're rebelling.
23:40Linger made me clean the toilets with my toothbrush.
23:43That's a lie.
23:45Well, we wouldn't act up at all if she didn't lock us in.
23:47I suppose it's just a cry for help.
23:50Is this true?
23:50No.
23:51Cam, tell Crash the truth.
23:53Do you mean about starving us as well?
23:54You don't believe this rubbish, do you?
23:58You have no dinner for life.
24:01I did not say that.
24:02She's doctored the table badly.
24:03Isn't that right, Cam?
24:04If I say yes, can we have some food later?
24:06We're all so hungry.
24:09That's all I need to hear.
24:10You are sacked.
24:11What?
24:12Think yourself lucky.
24:13We don't involve the police.
24:15I can't let Justin Littlewood sack me and walk away with Crash.
24:20Just go and tell them you made it up.
24:22No.
24:22But you're being unreasonable.
24:25You can't treat people like this.
24:28Just go and tell them you were wrong.
24:30I don't want to.
24:31But you're being childish.
24:33It's about time you started thinking of others.
24:36It's about time you started thinking of others.
24:40Well...
24:55Hello.
24:57Please don't mind, Justine.
24:59What?
24:59Take it easy.
25:00That's quite a bump you've had.
25:03So good to be back.
25:05You all right, Josie?
25:07Cam, I am so sorry.
25:12What?
25:12For what?
25:14For being me, I suppose.
25:15And for being unreasonable.
25:17You want to run into doors more often.
25:38What's up with you?
25:40Er...
25:41Nothing.
25:43Nothing.
25:49Tracey.
25:50How are you feeling?
25:51Yeah, a lot better, thanks.
25:54Er, Mike, Elaine.
25:57Just wanted to say I'm sorry.
25:58I was totally out of order earlier.
26:01Tracey Beaker apologised?
26:03Yeah.
26:05And all it took was a crack to the head.
26:07Do you know,
26:08this could rewrite all those childcare books.
26:11That's enough excitement for today.
26:13You're going to have to leave her alone now
26:14to give her some rest.
26:20You all right, Tracey?
26:22Yeah.
26:23Thanks to you, Marco.
26:24And you, Millie.
26:27Everything's back to normal.
26:33Tracey Beaker, shut your big, fat gob!
26:37I can make my world come true
26:40All my dreams will see me through
26:42And the fact won't get me down
26:44My dreams will turn things all around
26:47With a sign upon my face
26:48Slate upon my claim
26:50I need a better place
26:51Doesn't matter what they come my way
26:53No, no, no
26:54Believe me now
26:55I'll win someday
26:57Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
26:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
26:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
26:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
26:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
27:00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
27:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah