- 22 hours ago
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00:06I can make my world come true All my views will see me through
00:11Doesn't matter what may come my way Believe it now, I will win someday
00:22Is that your impression of a doorstop, Rio?
00:24Tracey Beaker, you can't come in unless you say
00:28Please, Lord Rio, may I enter your residence?
00:31OK, I'll say it if you can spell it
00:34Oh, wow, you've got your trousers on the way around Rio
00:37Special day, is it?
00:39Tracey, I'm afraid you can't stay
00:40We're expecting an inspector
00:42Yes, that's why you look so worried
00:44The Annual Review by the National Care Standards Commission
00:47Can identify areas of concern in a care home
00:49OK, I'm going
00:53See, when you get fostered, you don't have to worry about inspections
00:56I've got it made living with Cam
00:58So how come you're always around you then, eh?
01:01Because I feel sorry for everyone else having to live with you, little maggots
01:05See you later
01:10Right
01:12Now all we have to do is make sure Elaine doesn't talk to him
01:41Oh, hi Tracey
01:43Anything wrong at the dumping ground?
01:45They have to come back so they're having their inspection
01:48Residence only, Sid said
01:49Oh, shame
01:50Look what I got down the charity shop
01:52Two quid, this cost
01:54Oh, Cam
01:56Don't ever, ever wear that top
01:58Not even to scare people with
02:00How do I end up with you as a foster mum?
02:02If I was a care home inspector, I'd close you down
02:06Oh, no point asking me to help with your maths homework
02:09Actually, this chart is to measure your progress
02:11My progress?
02:13Yeah, I'm putting you on review
02:14I used to get reviewed every year when I was at the dumping ground
02:17Just to see how I was getting on
02:18Oh
02:19Oh, Cam's squishing my chart
02:22OK, so you haven't been a total disaster as a foster parent
02:26But I have identified errors of concern
02:29So, I will be rewarding points for quality of meals
02:33Personal style
02:34And most important, QTT, quality Tracey time
02:38Right
02:39And you'll see I've started off at minus ten at that top
02:46No, no, Mr Rooney
02:47I'll find my own way
02:49I prefer to look around without the staff
02:50Of course
02:51Have you seen the kitchen?
02:53Ah, Lane, you're early
02:54I've got something to show you in my office
02:56Yeah, in my office, quick
02:59So, who else try and get this kit home closed down as well?
03:05This form goes on and on
03:07Does Mr Pincher really need all this information before he can talk to me?
03:10Yep, me and Duke have filled one out
03:12It's going to take me ages
03:13Mmm, an hour and forty-seven minutes
03:16Yeah, I'm guessing
03:20Does that look mouldy to you?
03:24You're an artist, you are
03:27Can you just tell me how you look after the children's emotional welfare?
03:31Mr Rooney was a bit vague
03:33Is your social worker here today?
03:36Mini Muffin?
03:41Well, we do have a social worker
03:43But that's only one way that we
03:47Personally, I find a nice tea usually fixes everything
03:51You use food as a substitute for counselling
03:54Oh, no, no, no
03:56No, no, no, I just meant
04:00Well, everybody likes a tasty treat
04:05Except you, apparently
04:06Hello, Mr Pincher
04:08Would you like to come and have a look round the home with me and my sister?
04:11Yes
04:12I think I will
04:21This isn't exactly what I was expecting
04:24You don't all share this room, I hope
04:26No
04:27Remember what Sid said
04:29We're not to say
04:30Hmm
04:32What, this
04:33This bedding isn't very thick
04:35I'm very grateful for you, Mr Pincher
04:37We just stick it out as best we can
04:39Good thing we got one another
04:41Not like that poor kid
04:42Rub it?
04:44Rub it?
04:44He was alright before he came here
04:50Carrot and pumpkin seed salad
04:53Do I look like a hamster?
04:55Hey, I can't be doing that badly
04:59But I made you that mango pineapple smoothie, you love them
05:03What does that say?
05:04Ham?
05:05Why do I lose points for ham?
05:07I don't even have ham, I'm vegetarian
05:09It's not ham, it's hair
05:11And I should knock off points for you being a fudgy
05:13Well, hold it right there, Tracy Beaker
05:15If you get to review my progress, I'm going to review yours
05:18Oh, review me?
05:20But there's nothing wrong with me
05:21I'm world perfect, foster daughter
05:23Well, we'll see, won't we?
05:25Game on
05:30Well, I hope Mr Pincher appreciates this
05:34Oh, Elaine, would you give me a hand?
05:37I've got to plant some herbs in the vegetable patch
05:39And your advice would be priceless
05:42I'm waiting for the inspector, Duke
05:44Oh, he'll be ages yet
05:46Tell you what, I'll give you a shout when he's done
05:47And what you don't know about parsley isn't worth knowing
05:52Oh
05:55All right
06:00I want you to feel that you can be completely honest with me
06:04Now, is there anything you're not happy about here in Cliffside?
06:11Well, it'd be nice not to have to wash in cold water
06:14You mean hot water is rationed?
06:16No, it's just a dodgy boiler
06:18And it would be nice not to have to share a room with this spanner
06:22Spanner?
06:23Yeah
06:23Go on, a spanner
06:24Here
06:27Yes, um, overcrowding does seem to be an issue here
06:31Not really
06:33Ribbit
06:33Ribbit, ribbit
06:34Oh
06:36Hello, little boy
06:39I'm not a little boy
06:40I'm a frog
06:42Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit
06:44Ribbit, ribbit
06:49Ribbit
06:49It's a voucher for the IMAX cinema
06:52I know what it is, Cam
06:53I can read
06:54Oh, if you don't want it
06:55No, no, I want it
06:56Bye
06:58Yay
06:59Points to me
07:03What have you done to your room?
07:04Do you like it?
07:06We're trying to show that inspector what a rubbish care home this is
07:08What for?
07:09He can close us down if he fails inspection
07:11Yeah
07:12It's what we do and we don't like somewhere
07:14And we don't like a lot of places
07:15If they close the DG down, they'll move us
07:18Then we'll have to try and fit in somewhere else with kids like you
07:21So?
07:22We don't care
07:23We've got each other
07:24Well, I care
07:25Another place might be ten times worse
07:28You could be messing up all our lives again
07:30Just for a laugh
07:33Obviously, I'm always really pleased to help
07:35But I'm a social worker, not a gardener
07:37And I really wasn't appropriately...
07:39Thank you so much, Elaine
07:41If you just put these away in the pantry
07:43That'd be lovely
07:50There he is
07:52Mr Pitch, it's really nice here
07:54Yeah, we're all really happy
07:55We've got those to eat
07:56And we can watch telly and everything
07:58Well, that wasn't what some of you said before
08:01Someone been talking to you
08:03Yeah
08:05Oh, I mean, no
08:06Sid and Duke haven't been talking to us
08:08And they definitely haven't been telling us what to say
08:10Or anything
08:12What?
08:13What?
08:16I just wish that sometimes it wasn't so curly
08:20At least it's not like yours, though
08:22Well, I think your hair's lovely, Tracey
08:26Hope you feel a bit better after that little chat
08:28What do you mean?
08:30Well, I've helped you get something off your chest
08:31That's therapy
08:33Which has got to be worth, um, at least 20 points
08:37Oh, yeah?
08:38Well, get this, Miss Sneaky
08:40I hate therapy
08:42So that's minus 20 points
08:49Thank you, Roxy
08:51I don't know what happened to Duke
08:54Elaine, one of your therapy sessions would be really good with that inspector
08:58What a good idea
09:01I suppose you'd better let her out
09:03Just keep her out of you-know-who's way
09:06I'll gather everyone together after lunch, Mr. Pinch
09:09And my therapy sessions always seem to help the children express themselves
09:17She wants to have escaped
09:19Okay, uh
09:22Who's got something they'd like to say?
09:24Anyone?
09:27Anyone at all?
09:29Don't be shy
09:32Elaine?
09:33Yes, Roxy, what is it?
09:35You know Cati, my pet caterpillar?
09:37Um
09:39Um
09:39Duke took him away
09:41Oh, dear, um
09:44Were you close?
09:46Cati was my very, very, very best friend and I loved him
10:06Stop lying
10:07Duke would never do anything like that
10:09And you've never had a caterpillar anyway
10:12He's got so mean since Duke took away his reason
10:18Oh, never mind about homework for now
10:20Let's have some quality Tracy time
10:22What do you want to do?
10:23What do you want to do?
10:25No, I mean it
10:26What do you want to do?
10:27No
10:27What do you want to do?
10:28Oh, you're freaking me out
10:30Can we just forget about earning points?
10:33I knew it
10:33You only want to stop because you'll lose it
10:36But don't take it so seriously
10:39And that's minus 50 points for getting a cob on
10:43And minus 30 for slamming the door
10:52Tracey Beaker, just in time
10:53Come on
10:56And what about the state of the children's bedrooms?
10:58And that poor boy who thinks he's a frog
11:01Now, the changes I'm going to recommend are three
11:12And you are...
11:15Tracey Beaker
11:16Gorgeous, super cool
11:18Used to live here
11:19Now in a foster home
11:20I understand
11:21You're scared to admit what it's really like here in front of Mr Rooney
11:25Why would I be scared of Sid?
11:27I don't even live here anymore
11:29You've been scammed by these amateurs
11:31Don't know what you mean
11:33Mr Pinscher, let me tell you about the Wellharts
11:37Face it
11:37Views are a complete waste of time
11:42Well, thank you, Mr Pinscher
11:44And I must say you were a hit with the Wellharts
11:47They only tease people that they really, really like
11:50Yes
11:51A very good joke
11:55The children's high-spiritedness clearly shows they must be comfortable here
12:01Yes
12:01Well, goodbye, Mr Rooney
12:04Oh, goodbye, Mr Pinscher
12:09Having a little bit of fun at the inspector's expense, were we?
12:13It's like you said, Sid
12:14We must have really, really liked him
12:15Well, let's see how you really like repainting your room
12:19Shall we?
12:20So, that's the thing
12:56Why did you do that? You were winning.
12:58Refuser for losers. Quite honestly, I don't know why you went along with it.
13:02I thought it really mattered to you.
13:04Well, it's rubbish. There's no point in trying to change you. I am lumbered with you the way you are.
13:09But next time you go shopping at charity shops, I'd least take me with you.
13:14Well, thanks, Tracy. And of course, you do have your faults too.
13:19Yeah, I said that.
13:20No, you didn't.
13:22Yeah, I did.
13:23No, I don't think you did, Tracy.
13:25I think you're fine. I did, Kat.
13:26No, you didn't.
13:27Yes, I did.
13:28You didn't.
13:29You did not.
13:30You did not.
13:33Did you know the dictionary definition of beaker is clever, funny and gorgeous?
13:39It's not.
13:40Well, it should be.
13:45Are you sure this is supposed to be fun?
13:48Tracy, this is what families do.
13:49It's not about fun.
13:51But why can't we just phone for a pizza like normal people?
13:54Because normal people are boring.
13:59You did that on purpose.
14:01If only I could be so accurate.
14:04Let's get that scraped off.
14:07Oh, visitors.
14:08Oh, Cam!
14:11Hi, Cam.
14:12Hello.
14:13Don't worry.
14:13I'm not checking up on you.
14:36It's tomato sauce, Elaine.
14:38I'm not checking up on you.
14:39Oh, of course.
14:41I knew that.
14:47Was that an alert your mum sent?
14:49It's her engagement ring.
14:50She doesn't want it anymore.
14:52Reminder of my dad.
14:53Erm, it's a nice big stone.
14:58Diamond?
14:59Glass.
14:59Cheap, nasty and tasteless.
15:01My dad all over.
15:06Let me get this straight.
15:09You want me to spend the whole afternoon with a load of scuzzy social workers and weirdo care kids.
15:15It's a party.
15:16A special reception organised by Kids in Care magazine at the Saracen Hotel.
15:21It's very posh.
15:22And they do most delightful cakes.
15:24And all you have to do is...
15:25What?
15:26You mean on top of everything else there's a catch!
15:29All you have to do is mention how pleased you are that I've finally managed to get you both in
15:35a successful fostering situation.
15:48So, so, so, skinless.
15:56Woo!
16:04Skinless.
16:05So, so, so.
16:08Sorry, Elaine, but today is Saturday.
16:10And thanks to your wonderfully successful handling of my fostering,
16:13I don't need to listen to people like you on a Saturday.
16:16And I... I thought you might like these.
16:20This reception is being sponsored by a firm who makes training issues.
16:24Bribery, Elaine.
16:25It's not bribery. It's a free gift.
16:28You don't have to come, Tracy.
16:30It's just that I always thought of you as special.
16:44Oh, what's working, then?
16:46What?
16:47Elaine's bribe. Sorry, a gift.
16:50Cam, I'd rather eat a dog bogey sandwich than go to Elaine's shipping.
16:56Is something burning?
16:58Oh, the pizza!
17:02Oh!
17:04What are we going to do for lunch?
17:05What do you mean, we?
17:06What? Where are you going?
17:08Well, I'm having my lunch at a posh hotel.
17:10Apparently, they'd do the most delightful cakes.
17:16Far be it from me to state the obvious,
17:18but won't all that tugging make your fingers swell up?
17:23What are you up to?
17:25Chantelle's got this stupid ring.
17:27It's like on her finger.
17:29But...
17:29That's Crash's mum's ring.
17:31No, it isn't. It's mine.
17:32Lie, it's mine.
17:32Oi! If my sister says it's yours, it's yours.
17:38Even though I've never seen it before.
17:40Whoa!
17:41People, people, people.
17:44I'm sure we can sort this out in a calm and rational manner.
17:51Welcome to the Florence Blakova Show!
17:55Protector of the beast.
17:57Fighter of fights.
17:59Soother of sorrow.
18:00Now, please welcome your host,
18:04Florence Blakova!
18:16He accuses her of trespassing and theft.
18:19She says,
18:20That's crazy talk.
18:21Who's right?
18:22You decide.
18:23Go, Florence!
18:24Go, Florence!
18:25Go, go, go, Florence!
18:26This is stupid.
18:28Chantelle, so, you say this ring is yours.
18:31Yeah, I found it.
18:32Finders, keepers.
18:33Not when you find things in other people's rooms.
18:35Honestly, details, details, details.
18:38Boo!
18:40Boo!
18:41Boo!
18:42Boo!
18:48Guys, guys, you must try to understand one another.
18:51This meaningless aggression is not healthy.
19:08Isn't that shop a little too stylish for you, B-Con?
19:14Well, well, well, Justine Littlewood.
19:32What's that make-up you're wearing?
19:33Why are you on your way to a clowns convention?
19:36I hear the dummy ground finally managed to get rid of you.
19:39I wish I'd been at the party afterwards.
19:41Oh, you were.
19:42Haven't you heard of the Justine Littlewood dartboard?
19:44They only bring it out on special occasions.
19:46It tends to scare the younger kids.
19:48Well, it's been wonderful catching up,
19:51but some of us have more important things to do.
19:53Yeah, some of us do.
19:58Look, Crash's door was open.
20:01I might have seen the ring out of the corner of my eye.
20:04I might have wandered in and accidentally tried it on.
20:10Boo! Boo!
20:13I don't have very many nice things.
20:16Aww.
20:22Duke?
20:23Tracy!
20:24Elaine's suckered you into this one as well, has she?
20:26No one suckers the beaker into anything.
20:29Whatever you say.
20:30Nice trainers.
20:33Duke?
20:34Beaker!
20:35Justine!
20:36This is like a school reunion.
20:39I may have cried.
20:41But, Elaine personally invited me to this official reception.
20:45This official reception where Kids in Care magazine are doing a big photo shoot on your favourite social worker.
20:51But I don't have a...
20:54Elaine the pain?
20:55Elaine the pain?
20:55In a magazine?
20:57With pictures?
20:58But what happened to all those laws about taste and decency?
21:17There are at least half a dozen of Elaine's other kids in there.
21:19I don't know if she does it.
21:21Half a dozen?
21:22But Elaine said I was special.
21:25And you believed her.
21:26You must be even dumber than...
21:27Dumber than you?
21:28Now that's a frightening thought.
21:45Delightful.
21:46That's Elaine with an I.
21:48Obviously.
21:48And the surname's spelt...
21:50Well, of course you know that.
21:52I'm silly of all.
21:53It's just that...
21:54Well, I just feel so honoured to be here.
21:56Hey Elaine.
21:56You said that I was the only one here.
21:59Justine.
21:59Tracy, how lovely to see you.
22:01So glad you could make it.
22:03My other success stories are over there.
22:05Ah!
22:06But Elaine, you said that...
22:07Tracy dear, can't you see we're talking?
22:10He's writing an article and it's all about me, so leave us in peace with you.
22:14He's a good girl.
22:17Of course it's all about the children.
22:19I mean, their welfare is central to every single decision I make.
22:22I really can't stress that strongly.
22:24And it's a question of experience, you see.
22:26And when you have...
22:26It wasn't me!
22:28I'm sorry.
22:29I thought I saw you talking to Elaine Boyack.
22:31Is she a social worker?
22:32Well, I...
22:33I'm a journalist with Kids and Care magazine, you see.
22:36And I was wondering whether you could talk to me about your relationship with her.
22:41You can't mess with other people's property.
22:43Those are the rules.
22:44Look, you can have your stupid ring back as soon as I get it off, okay?
22:47I don't want it back.
22:50I mean...
22:51I do.
22:52It just...
22:54It just brings back bad memories.
22:57You can throw it in the bed for all I care.
23:00Crash?
23:02Does this mean I can keep it?
23:06Boo!
23:07Boo!
23:09And then there were those stupid activity days she made us do.
23:12And, of course, one of my strengths has always been organising activity days.
23:21You remember the time she drove us 20 miles so we could sit in a field and think about nothingness.
23:26And teaching meditation, encouraging the children to be as one with nature.
23:42We had to go to the toilet in a hedge.
23:44With nettles.
23:45First aid.
23:46And a wide range of alternative therapies.
23:49No, no.
23:50The worst one was when she brought in those big spongy hammers so that kids could work out their aggressions
23:55on one another.
23:56And then she wondered why they went after her.
23:59Not to mention conflict resolution.
24:02We're a team and all good teams work well together.
24:05So, let's show everyone what a great team we are.
24:10In fact, I've got some letters here from some children who've really appreciated the way I've helped them change and
24:15develop.
24:18I'm sure they'd have given you a doggy bag if you'd asked.
24:21Well, you could say that, um, I'm the cream of the crop.
24:25You can quote me on that if you like.
24:27Quote you?
24:28Yes, you know, in your article.
24:30I don't know anything about any article.
24:34I just heard there were some delightful free cakes going in here.
24:38I had been hoping to enjoy them in peace and quiet.
24:51I have nothing else worth stealing.
24:54We got it off.
24:56So...
24:59It hurt, actually.
25:01Good.
25:03Listen, I didn't mean to upset you.
25:06I mean, we've all got bad memories, haven't we?
25:18But, er, of course, on the whole, Elaine's a highly effective and professional social worker.
25:29Wouldn't you say so, ladies?
25:32Anyway, let's be off home.
25:35Bye, girls.
25:36See you, Jake.
25:37Bye.
25:38He's got so many great stories, hasn't he?
25:41So much experience as well.
25:43Yeah, he's much more interesting than Elaine.
25:46I, er, wonder if anyone's ever written an article about him.
25:49I wonder.
25:52Bye, girls.
25:53Bye.
25:54Bye.
25:56See, leaving the dumping ground hasn't made Jenny less evil.
26:00I'm not evil, Justine. I'm misunderstood.
26:04Mind you, the thing about the DG is, well, there was always something happening.
26:11I mean, I love living with Dads and Carrie, and the baby, but sometimes we can just get the teenies
26:19a bit boring.
26:25That was a journalist from Kids in Care magazine, wasn't it?
26:28I don't know. We didn't ask.
26:29I know what you've been doing, saying mean things about me.
26:33Well, she'll be back, because I'm a professional. The story is right here.
26:38It sure is.
26:46Delightful.
26:48I can make my world come true.
26:51All my dreams will see me through.
26:53And this life won't get me down.
26:56My dreams will turn things all around with a smile upon my face.
27:00I could see a better place.
27:02Doesn't matter what may come my way.
27:05Believe me now, I'll win someday.
27:12I'm not happy with them.
27:12We'll be back home and I'll be back home and I'll come back home and see you in there.
27:14You know what?
27:15But, now I will see you in the back and you're back.