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00:06I can make my world come true. All my dreams will see me through. Doesn't matter what may come my
00:13way. Believe me now, I will win someday.
00:19How can all your clothes be dirty? You've got to take more responsibility for yourself when you move out. You
00:26can't wander around wearing no trousers all your life.
00:29Responsibility. Yippee. Next stop, a dull job. Followed by a dull wedding with dull kids. You'll be old and dull
00:36before you know them. Just like these two.
00:38No, I won't. When I move into the halfway house, I live by my own rules.
00:43At Can's Place, you have to vote on rules, rotas, everything. Democracy, she calls it.
00:48Having a say in your life is positive. It reaches into our inner selves.
00:53You'll be giving this lot the vote next.
00:55Why not? Yeah. Why not?
00:59Elaine, you are a genius.
01:01Well, I wouldn't say that exactly.
01:04Such vision. I can just see the bestseller now.
01:08Elaine. Democracy and the Inner Self.
01:13Bestseller?
01:26Bestseller?
01:27Better get started now before someone stills the idea.
01:31Better hat.
01:36Now what?
01:40Only ask for some trousers.
01:43So, voting gives you all kinds of grown-up responsibilities. What do you think?
01:53Brilliant, Elaine. Can we vote on anything?
01:56Absolutely. Anything you want. Just propose it.
02:00OK. I propose. There are no rules. Vote.
02:05Er... No, no, I don't think that, erm...
02:08That's that, then. Passed unanimously.
02:10Yes!
02:11Yes!
02:12Well, no, no, hang on. Wait, er...
02:17That woman. That girl. This place.
02:25Why are you wearing a suit?
02:27What?
02:31An interview.
02:34Why on earth would you want another job?
02:37More money. Less work.
02:40As if I haven't got enough problems.
03:02Oh, one other thing. Could you give me a written reference?
03:30Ha-ha!
03:31Heidi, where are you off to? Getting married?
03:34Married? Who on earth wants to marry him?
03:46I'd marry you, Duke.
03:55Hey, what are you two up to?
03:59Hello. I'd like a temp cook for a week, please.
04:04What about a day?
04:05Half a day?
04:07Half a day?
04:08An hour?
04:09Hello?
04:10Hello?
04:12So!
04:14How's the brilliant idea coming along?
04:17Marvellous.
04:19Everything's, erm...
04:21You know.
04:22Great!
04:23Well, you can make the lunches, then.
04:25Oh, I'd like to, but the thing is, I have to observe. Take notes. Can't Duke do it?
04:31No. He's been head-hunted.
04:34Oh.
04:36Mr Smart really does listen to my suggestions, after all.
04:40You recommended him for another job.
04:44Brilliant, isn't it?
04:51So, if there's no rules, when do we eat?
04:56When we say so.
05:00Well, we could if there was anything to eat.
05:03Someone's nicked the lunch.
05:04Who'd do that?
05:05Boys, of course.
05:06Oh, typical. They're all the same.
05:08Yeah, greedy and selfish.
05:10Hey, that's sexist.
05:13You girls have got a serious attitude problem.
05:18I'll give them attitude.
05:25Do you think they run this place?
05:26Girls. Typical.
05:28I suppose we could share with them.
05:30No!
05:32Yeah, right. Good idea.
05:35Let's get cooking.
05:37Oh, looks like we're just in time.
05:39Er, make mine two eggs, sunny side up.
05:41Yeah, in your dreams.
05:43But we're hungry.
05:43OK, here you go.
05:46Enjoy.
05:47Hang on, there has to be a solution.
05:50Yeah.
05:51We'll fight you for it.
05:53OK.
05:54Game on.
05:56OK, leave them in line, come on.
05:57We could web this bunch any time.
05:59Oh, I said, let's go.
06:01Yeah, go on, run off.
06:03Yeah!
06:04You bunch of girls!
06:08Bunch of girls.
06:09With Tracey Beaker.
06:12It seems quiet after the care home.
06:14This is where the real care work is done.
06:17You can make a real positive difference here.
06:20It might take some time getting used to working in an office again.
06:24You mean...
06:26one like this?
06:27Yes.
06:28This would be your office.
06:31Pot plant and all.
06:52as far as I'm concerned, the job's yours.
06:56All I need is a written reference.
06:59You do have one, don't you?
07:21Dear me, I've never read a reference like that before.
07:28Oh, well. Nice to have met you.
07:31Sounds like he thinks the world of you.
07:33You must make quite a team.
07:37I guess so.
07:39When can you start? Have you got your national insurance forms?
07:45Oh, sorry. No, I'll post them on.
07:49No, no, I want to fast-track this. I'll pick them up in the morning.
07:52So, welcome aboard, eh?
07:56Yeah, I mean, what are they going to do?
07:59Yeah, exactly. We'll stuff ourselves, then veg out with telly and computers.
08:04Oh, no.
08:05She wouldn't.
08:06They haven't.
08:08Looking for one of these boys?
08:09Give us that!
08:12Wait! Wait!
08:14Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
08:15I think you need to discuss this.
08:18Hello? Anyone?
08:20How's the meal, boys?
08:21Give them back.
08:21We'll fight you for them.
08:23And you can forget about the virgin out as well.
08:25You can't do this!
08:26You can only get one channel without the remote.
08:29What about life?
08:30And don't even bother trying to use the toilet.
08:37Hmm.
08:49Discipline holding up, then?
08:51Oh, pretty much.
08:52And it'll be terrific research for my bestseller.
08:55Don't worry.
08:56I've got everything under control.
09:07This is better talking.
09:09You have to admit, it got a bit silly.
09:13It's not very grown-up, is it?
09:15No.
09:15Grown-ups, we've had strikes.
09:17Riots.
09:18Wars.
09:19Right, well, anyway, it's time to negotiate.
09:24How about a compromise?
09:26Good idea.
09:27Yeah.
09:27You can have half the food.
09:29If you cook all the meals.
09:32How about you, Boggo?
09:34This is war, Beaker.
09:35That suit's us.
09:49Hurrah!
09:51False alarm!
09:53Don't worry, Sonia.
09:55It's way past your bedtime!
09:57What bedtime?
09:58Yeah.
09:59No rules, no bedtime.
10:01Yeah!
10:02Yeah!
10:13It's time to get to sleep.
10:15I'm tired.
10:16I'm tired and hungry.
10:19So what do you suggest?
10:20Just give in.
10:21No way!
10:22We should attack!
10:23When the time is right.
10:33How do you think?
10:35Time.
10:37I suppose you think when you go away, everything just falls to pieces.
10:41No, no, I just thought that...
10:44Yeah, the fridge is empty.
10:47Everyone's starving and the kids have turned into packs of wild animals.
10:51But apart from that, everything's perfectly normal.
10:54No.
11:21No crash.
11:23No crash.
11:23Well, I'm so hungry.
11:25I'm so hungry.
11:25You're hungry.
11:26I'm so empty.
11:29I could eat your horse.
11:35I'll take these and get off.
11:37Meet the kids first.
11:39I'd love to, but...
11:41Busy, busy.
11:45You must be able to find some common ground.
11:48A like you share.
11:50A dislike, then.
11:52Surely something in here makes you go mad.
11:56Now you've come to mention it.
11:58Now you've come to mention it.
11:58Yeah, there is.
11:59Great, so why don't you resolve your differences and unite?
12:06Sounds good to me.
12:07OK, I'm up for that.
12:09Great.
12:10So, come on, then.
12:12Let it all hang out.
12:13OK, if you say so.
12:16Charge!
12:24Off already?
12:25Just typing up my notes.
12:26It's all going brilliant-ish.
12:28Smart, quick.
12:29Save yourself.
12:30Get out of here.
12:31I'm up!
12:32I'm up!
12:34I'm up!
12:36I'm up!
12:45Duke!
12:46Let's get out of this dump!
12:49They're animals!
12:51Actually, they're not animals.
12:52They're kids who need care.
12:54That's why it's called a care home.
12:58But, er, you've forgotten that with your comfort.
13:01You've got a coffee office in, you pot plants.
13:03Goodbye.
13:05Who needs an office when you've got all this?
13:14Right, you lot!
13:17I've just got one word to say to you.
13:22Pizza!
13:32Do remember, viewers, watching TV gives you square eyes.
13:36Not!
13:38You've done gold locks.
13:40You've seen Cinderella.
13:41But there's no one quite like Bija.
13:45Hurry up, Shant.
13:46It's feeding time.
13:47Erm, he's not here.
13:51What?
13:52He's not in his box.
13:54Course he is.
13:55You're just not looking propped.
13:58He's not me.
14:00He's not in his box.
14:02What's the matter?
14:03What is it?
14:04He's gone.
14:07Oh, no.
14:12What kind of monster gets up your nose?
14:14A bogeyman.
14:17Oh, Sid, Sid.
14:19What's the difference between an elephant and a biscuit?
14:23Have you ever tried dipping an elephant into a cup of tea?
14:28It's funny.
14:29Uh-oh.
14:31Red alert, red alert.
14:32We have a sense of humor failure.
14:34I repeat, we have a sense of humor failure.
15:02Okay, Sid.
15:03This will make you laugh.
15:05Bounce.
15:06Do your Dot Cotton impression.
15:08You suck at pretty girl, Sonja.
15:12Okay, okay.
15:13Dot Cotton being attacked by piranha fish.
15:16Sonja!
15:17Oh, yeah!
15:18Oh, come on, Sid.
15:22This is really hilarious, okay?
15:26Bounce.
15:27Do your exploding alien.
15:32Oh, yeah.
15:35Later, boys.
15:39There's something wrong with him.
15:41Yeah.
15:41Doesn't he realise we're like the funniest people here?
15:43The comedy dream team.
15:45That's us.
15:46If we can't make him laugh, no one can.
15:52He was like my best mate.
15:54I could tell him anything.
15:57Call yourself a wellard?
16:00Wellards don't cry over nothing.
16:02But...
16:03Nothing.
16:04Gory?
16:05Me and Roxy are family.
16:06We're the only mates you need.
16:09Now, let's split up and search.
16:16Hi.
16:17My name's Bounce for Koba.
16:18And when I grow up,
16:19I want to be...
16:20a pop star.
16:22I just can't get you out of my head.
16:25Boy, your loving is all I think about.
16:29Have you two been drinking that fizzy drink again
16:31with all the additives?
16:32No.
16:33We're just trying to make you laugh.
16:35You know, like this.
16:38I laugh as much as anyone else.
16:40What?
16:40You never find anything funny?
16:42That's not true.
16:43I have a finely honed appreciation of comic irony.
16:46Yeah?
16:46OK.
16:47So when was the last I've had a good, proper giggle in?
16:53La la la!
16:54La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
17:00la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
17:03Has anyone seen Marco?
17:05Sorry.
17:07We were supposed to be making an animal hospital.
17:11Oh, dear.
17:14Tell me the truth.
17:17Am I a humourless grump?
17:21No.
17:22Come on.
17:22This is serious.
17:23Tell me.
17:25You've had a very heavy workload recently.
17:28What's that?
17:28A code for you've got no sense of humour?
17:31Well, not...
17:33Everyone has.
17:36Yeah.
17:38That's ridiculous.
17:40I like a laugh as much as the next man.
17:44Aww.
17:45Ha-ha.
17:46Gotcha.
17:46It's only plastic, Duke.
17:48That is childish and silly, and it's totally unfunny.
17:52Isn't it, Duke?
17:56What's wrong with you?
18:00Are you looking for Marco, too?
18:03Rio, snake's got out.
18:05Cool.
18:05Snake?
18:06His name's Rex.
18:09Go on, Rio.
18:11Go look in the hole.
18:13Go on.
18:14I hear the noise.
18:16What kind of snake is he?
18:18I don't know.
18:20I don't know.
18:20A slithery one lives near water.
18:24Get a grip, or I'm not helping.
18:27Got it?
18:28I just couldn't bear it.
18:29If anything happened to him...
18:35Perfect.
18:36This can't fail.
18:37Thank you, dearie.
18:38Oh, I'm sure my bum looks big in this.
18:40Oh, massive, dearie.
18:41Massive.
18:41The size of a large asteroid.
18:43Enough of your cheek, Edna.
18:44Now go and ring the bell before your tights fall down.
18:47Off you go, little girl.
18:47We have an urgent appointment with the manager of this magnificent establishment.
18:51You know?
18:52Well, it doesn't laugh much.
18:54If ever.
18:56Off again.
18:57Oh, get me with your handbag.
18:59Bro, not that hard.
19:00Oh, sorry.
19:03Good afternoon, sir.
19:05We're here to foster a couple of children.
19:07Two nice polite kiddies.
19:10No smelly ones.
19:11We don't want any riffraff.
19:14You're rehearsing a play.
19:17I see what you're doing.
19:20What are you doing?
19:23Sid, you really do have a problem.
19:30Have you seen Marco?
19:33Sorry.
19:34Cry.
19:35You know about snakes, don't you?
19:39Snakes.
19:41Yeah, I know about snakes.
19:43Every type, every mutation, every variety.
19:47I wouldn't risk being caught face to face of one, though.
19:49I don't know whether it's a suffocator or a venom splitter.
19:55Are you scared of them?
19:57No way.
19:58Snakes are cool.
20:01Okay.
20:02Which snakes live near water?
20:04Yeah.
20:06Boal constrictors.
20:09They eat anything from a mouse to a live antelope.
20:13That's what Rio's got, then.
20:16You're joking?
20:18No.
20:19We have to find it before it gets really hungry.
20:22I'll get Jackie to help.
20:32I'll get Jackie to help.
20:50I'll get Jackie to help.
20:54Sid, there's a massive boal constrictor on that looks in the dumping ground.
20:57You've got to do something right now.
20:59Yeah, nice try, Crash.
21:01You nearly had me laughing.
21:03Maybe if you'd said there's a six-foot, celery-snorting yeti on the rampage, I might, I giggled.
21:09But a snake?
21:10Eh, a bit predictable really.
21:12Sorry.
21:13I'm not joking, Sid. There's a very large, very hungry boat constrictor somewhere in this very care home.
21:20Health and safety wouldn't allow it. That's all you're going to do about it.
21:23Forget it, Crash. It does not get more funny the more you labour it.
21:28Hang on, hang on. On a scale of one to ten, how funny would you say this is?
21:34What did one earwig say to the other earwig as they fell out the tree?
21:38I don't know what.
21:39Earwig O, earwig O, earwig O.
21:44That's not funny.
21:51Can you see anything?
21:53No.
21:54What?
21:57Something's there.
22:01It's only a vacuum cleaner.
22:04Of course. I knew that.
22:19Jacky.
22:22Wow.
22:23Marco, Jackie, Layla, one-time Le Mange. Come and get it.
22:32The Le Mange is off.
22:37Well, at least it's better than Crash's snake joke.
22:40No, Sid. There really is a snake. Really, really.
22:43Ooh! And I'm Posh Beckham's grandmother.
22:46It's Rio. She's been keeping that a secret under Chantel's bed.
22:50No, he's gone.
22:54We can't find Marco anywhere, but you found Rio's snake.
22:57Oh, yes!
22:58I'm afraid it's bad news.
23:01Oh no!
23:07I'm sorry, Rio.
23:10He's dead.
23:11And by the look of things, he's been that way a long time.
23:14We put him in Crash's snooker cue box.
23:18It is needless grater.
23:20Sid!
23:22Sorry, it's just the long box.
23:25It's Rio's pattern there.
23:27Not funny!
23:28Yeah, I'm sorry.
23:29Maybe we could bury him in the garden.
23:35Out.
23:35Now.
23:37Of course we could bury him in the garden, if that's what you want, Rio.
23:41I'd like to see him.
23:42For one last time.
23:44I wouldn't, Rio.
23:45There's not much left of him.
23:47Ah!
23:49Don't worry, Rio, let it all out.
23:51I don't worry.
23:52He's alive!
23:53It's his skin!
23:54You fickles!
23:56He just shed his skin!
23:59Rex lives!
24:01That's great!
24:03Where is he then?
24:05And where's Marco?
24:07No one's seen him all morning!
24:08Leila!
24:10Leila!
24:11Leila!
24:11Leila!
24:17Leila!
24:29Leila!
24:39Where have you... been?
24:43In the attic, making the animal hospital. Annabelle can be our first patient.
24:48He's mine. His name's Rex and he's not sick.
24:52But I found him.
24:54He's a wild snake. Is that right, Crash?
24:56Er, y-yeah, sure. Just a harmless little wild snake. It's harmless. It's totally harmless.
25:06I just... I just got it.
25:09Chicken!
25:12He's a wild creature, Rio. He'll get sick if you keep him in a box.
25:19I'm not giving him up. You can't make me.
25:22Come back in. It'll be tea time soon.
25:24Rex won't eat anything.
25:26Maybe he isn't happy.
25:28I think you should let him go, Rio.
25:31Come on, buddy. He's got to hang out with his snake mates.
25:38Goodbye, Rex. I'll never forget you.
25:41My scaly little friend.
25:44Come on.
25:45Come on, please.
25:54Hi.
26:04Are you all right, Rio?
26:06I'm sure Rex will be okay.
26:09You can have my cake tonight if you like.
26:11Course. I'm all right.
26:13What sort of wimp you think I am?
26:14Where's Marco?
26:15Marco!
26:17Supper's ready!
26:20I was just checking all my stick insects were gone.
26:22I set them free.
26:24Cos you said it was cruel to keep animals in a box.
26:27Do you think I'll skip supper tonight?
26:29Yeah.
26:30Me too.
26:31Oh.
26:32I'll have you all set.
26:36Can you climb?
26:40Oooo!
26:47Come on!
26:52Kiiiihihihi!!
26:53I can make my world come new.
26:55All my dreams will see me through.
26:58And the set won't get me down, no.
27:00My jeans will turn things all around with a shine upon my face.
27:05I could see a better place.
27:07Doesn't matter what, they come my way.
27:09No, no, no.
27:09Believe me now, I'll win someday.