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00:06Hey, Sass, uh, we wanted to talk to you about Thanksgiving.
00:11Obviously, we normally go to Jay's parents.
00:13Yeah, but this year they're going on a cruise.
00:15Apparently, my mom wants to see Alaska more than her baby boy.
00:18He is a 40-year-old man.
00:20Anyway, we just wondered how you might feel about us doing a small Thanksgiving here.
00:24And why are you asking me specifically?
00:28Um...
00:29Jay?
00:31I don't know what's being said.
00:32Relax, I'm just messing with you.
00:34Well, first off, I appreciate that you guys even thought to ask.
00:37And yeah, if you want to have a dinner to express gratitude with friends and family, like, I'm all for
00:42it.
00:42He says it's okay.
00:43But I would maybe ask that we take some time to remember the atrocities that were committed against my people.
00:50And that you make that marshmallow yam thing.
00:52So Sarpis, oldest friend, Thorfinn agree is important not to gloss over a difficult history, all of which happened long
01:01after Thor's time.
01:03So you're just distancing yourself.
01:05Didn't you, like, murder thousands of people?
01:07Yes, but in Europe, so clean hands.
01:11Okay, this is a disgraceful display, and I, for one, am disgusted, especially as an Irish person who was also
01:17oppressed.
01:18You didn't even know you were Irish.
01:20I'm pretty sure that during the first Thanksgiving, my ancestors were being chased out of the shtetl by the Cossacks,
01:25so...
01:26Pete?
01:27I'm from the 80s.
01:29I drove a Datsun.
01:29Look, I think the point is, you were all taught this idyllic story about Thanksgiving, and obviously there's much more
01:37to it.
01:37Right.
01:38Well said, Sarsapis.
01:39Really, all we can do now is learn and be better, because none of us were actually there.
01:45Well?
01:48I wasn't there either.
01:49Maybe you're a colonizer.
01:51I'm gay.
01:53Is that anything?
01:54What about our purited friend, Patience?
01:56Where is she?
01:58Patience!
01:59Patience!
02:00We need you!
02:08Heavy to Chicago for your first book signing.
02:11This is very exciting.
02:13I once made it as far west as Michigan, but I did not have the confidence in my French to
02:18continue on to Illinois.
02:20I'm a little nervous.
02:21I mean, the publisher says we still haven't gotten the sales numbers.
02:24What if nobody shows up to my signing?
02:26Then it shall be both our failures.
02:28Though far more humiliating for you, since you'll be there and are alive and everything.
02:32It's gonna go great, babe, and we're gonna celebrate with Thanksgiving dinner, which you promised you'd be back in time
02:36for and not abandon me like my parents did.
02:38You pay taxes, you own a home.
02:40Cut the cord, Jay.
02:41Are you kidding?
02:42Are you kidding?
02:42Our first Thanksgiving together in our own home?
02:45I wouldn't miss it for the world.
02:47Samith, have you reminded Jay about turning on my sound machine while you're gone?
02:51I know that I was born before electricity, but now I cannot sleep without the soothing murmurs of the rainforest.
02:57And I need him to turn on the History Channel tonight at 6 p.m.
03:00There's an American Revolution marathon, and dare I say it will be the first marathon Ben Franklin's ever been a
03:04part of.
03:04Also, Thor need small man to turn on nightlight.
03:08For flower!
03:09Thor, not at all worried about monsters under bed.
03:12Don't worry, guys.
03:13I have given Jay a comprehensive list of ghost tasks.
03:16You'll be well taken care of.
03:17Yeah, guys, don't worry.
03:18I promise to turn Alberta's magazine page every 12 minutes.
03:23Oh, you tell him to double that for any Momoa-related content.
03:26Your girl likes to save her.
03:27Let's go, go, go.
03:28We gotta get a move on, Sammy.
03:29Whoa, relax, Pete.
03:30The flight doesn't leave for three hours.
03:32Which leaves just enough time for you to get through security and for me to find your pilot and make
03:36sure he's sober.
03:37That Denzel movie?
03:38Scary accurate.
03:41Okay, this is unacceptable.
03:43Trevor, I asked you 15 minutes ago to have Jay open the curtain so that I could stare out my
03:46staring window.
03:47He is not responding to any of our texts, Teddy.
03:50He's not even checking list.
03:52I am hitting send on a very sternly worded warning in which we threaten to tell Sam that he's not
03:56doing our bidding.
03:57You see how you like this?
04:08He's not doing any of this.
04:14He did nothing.
04:16This is actually really healthy for you.
04:18You guys have gotten spoiled with Sam kowtowing to your every need.
04:22Well, guess what?
04:24There's a new sheriff in town.
04:25One that plays by his own set of rules.
04:27I don't like this.
04:28I don't like this at all.
04:29Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go upstairs and watch whatever the hell I want on TV.
04:36Okay.
04:39He is diabolical.
04:40We need to do something.
04:42What if we text Sam saying the house burned down?
04:44She come running back?
04:45Oh, she might check in with Jay first.
04:46Otherwise, perfect plan.
04:47No notes.
04:48Thor think Thor have idea.
04:50If we can't have Sam, we can't have Sam's man.
04:53Maybe we can have Man-Sam.
04:57Wait, I speak Thor.
04:58I think he's talking about Kyle.
05:00Yeah, that's what I say.
05:02Hold on.
05:03Kyle, the living who can see ghosts who hit on Sam last time he was here?
05:08I don't think Jay's going to be doing backflips over us inviting Kyle to the house.
05:12Yeah, that's a good point.
05:13Although, when you think about it, here is the one place we know Samantha is not.
05:17So, in a way, by having Kyle come here, Jay should be put at ease.
05:21How?
05:22Well, if Kyle is here, then Kyle cannot be out there potentially bumping into an unchaperoned
05:27Samantha.
05:28So, you're saying we're not just bringing Man-Sam to be butler.
05:31We're actually potentially saving Sam and Jay's marriage.
05:35Oh, we are good people.
05:37Now, let's text Kyle pretending to be Jay and we'll deal with the fallout when he gets here.
05:41Oh, yes.
05:44Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:46Not quite done.
05:48And almost there.
05:51Okay.
05:52You can turn it.
05:55Wait a minute.
05:56Who's Derek?
05:57Can you go back a few pages?
05:59Ugh, Pete, are you sure you don't want to just stretch your legs for a bit before we board?
06:03It's kind of a long flight.
06:05It's not a bad idea.
06:06Maybe I'll go sample some of the smells over at the old Cinnabon.
06:09Dang, that's fun to say.
06:11Cinnabon.
06:12Cinnabon.
06:13Cinnabon-bon-bon.
06:14Okay.
06:15You know, the Cinnabon was actually a keychain hut a while ago and there was a guy named Phil that
06:19ran it and Phil went to Ithaca College.
06:21True story.
06:22Why would I think it was fake?
06:24Well, it's a pretty good college and Phil was not the best student.
06:27Yeah, and I didn't know any of those things, Pete.
06:29Well, now you do.
06:31Cinnabon-bon-bon-bon-bon.
06:32Ithaca.
06:33That's another fun one to say.
06:35Ithaca.
06:35Ithaca.
06:36Caw.
06:36Wait, who is Derek?
06:42Hey, I'm here.
06:43Man, that Thanksgiving traffic is brutal.
06:46Okay.
06:48First of all, thank you so much for coming.
06:49Second, please accept our apologies.
06:52For what?
06:52What the hell are you doing here?
06:54For that.
06:55I'm confused.
06:57You invited me.
06:58Why would I invite you?
07:00You made a move on my wife.
07:02Well, we invite you.
07:04Now finish up saying hellos and commence cooking food for us to smell.
07:08Ah, the ghosts are saying they invited me.
07:11Seriously, guys?
07:12I tell you I won't be your butler, so you call my nemesis?
07:15Wow.
07:15Nemesis is a far cry from this reconciliation text I got,
07:19which I'm now realizing must have come from Trevor
07:21due to the late 90s Bud Light gif.
07:24Wazzup.
07:25Okay, this is so embarrassing.
07:28Jay, I will get out of your hair.
07:29No, please don't go.
07:30What about Momoa?
07:31I'm sorry, guys.
07:32I can't help you.
07:33What are they saying?
07:34They're just doing their typical ghost begging.
07:35Well, we didn't want it to come to this, Kyle,
07:38but please tell Jay that if he doesn't allow you to stay,
07:40we're going to tell Sam of how he's been eating since she's been away.
07:44He's an adult.
07:44I'm sure Sam doesn't care what he eats.
07:46Wait, what are they saying?
07:48Well, that doesn't sound so bad.
07:51No, that can't be possible.
07:53For breakfast?
07:55Oh, no.
07:56In the bathtub?
07:58Four big dill double smashers in one sitting.
08:01Towards a feast, but not a celebration.
08:03Reeked of shame.
08:04Is this about the Sonic?
08:06It's about the Sonic.
08:08Okay, fine.
08:08You can stay and help with ghost stuff,
08:09but you stay out of my way.
08:11And the bathroom is supposed to be off limits.
08:14Off limits, ghosts.
08:15Was it Hetty?
08:16Yeah.
08:18Victorian perv.
08:21Really?
08:21They tricked Kyle into coming?
08:23I'm so sorry about that, Jay.
08:25Whatever.
08:26Ghosts are going to ghost.
08:27How'd the book signing go?
08:28It was okay.
08:29I don't really want to talk about it.
08:31Honestly, the hardest part has been...
08:36Pete, I've just never spent this much one-on-one time with him.
08:39He's been very annoying.
08:42Well, it doesn't sound like my boy.
08:44Although, to be fair, I've never once interacted with him.
08:46Here he comes.
08:47I gotta go.
08:48Hey, deep breaths, babe.
08:49Just a quick flight home, and then our Thanksgiving feast awaits.
08:52I can't wait to see you.
08:53Oh, I can't wait to see you either.
08:55I'm going to go shower with my bathing suit on.
08:57Please hurry back.
08:58Love you.
08:58Love you.
08:59Hey, Sam.
09:01I just met a really nice ghost over at the Hudson News.
09:03I told her you'd look up her nephew to see if he ever became a dentist.
09:06Seriously?
09:07It's going to take some time, too, because she died in 1905, so the nephew's also long dead.
09:12How expensive is Ancestry.com?
09:14One short flight.
09:16What's that?
09:16Due to an unresolved labor dispute, all ground crew are on strike.
09:20Effective immediately, all flights are canceled at this time.
09:23What?
09:23No.
09:24Fish sticks.
09:26What?
09:27Look on the bright side, Sammy.
09:28You and I are about to spend a whole lot more time together.
09:31Fish sticks.
09:36All right, road trip time.
09:38This is fun.
09:39Good, clean fun.
09:41Uh-huh.
09:41I think we can make it in 13 hours, which puts us back at Woodstone just in time for
09:46Turkey.
09:46Great.
09:47And that's even allowing for several brief stops for the one of us who still needs to pee.
09:51Now, if we really want to shave some time...
09:53Pete, I've already said no.
09:54I'm not wearing a diaper.
09:55Damn it.
09:56Why won't this stupid phone connect?
09:58Just put it in the cup holder facing me.
09:59I'll keep my eye on the map, you keep your eye on the road.
10:02Now, do you have a preference in terms of navigation voice?
10:05Crikey, turn left in 300 meters!
10:07The Australian accent will be in metric.
10:10Or I just use my regular voice.
10:14Yikes.
10:15Okay, Sass, your pizzas are on the way.
10:19Pepperoni extra pungent?
10:21I did ask for that.
10:22They seem confused, but we'll see what arrives.
10:25Time!
10:25On it.
10:26Hetty and Isaac, I know Jay's watching football on the TV, so I downloaded the latest season
10:32of Bodices and Barons for you to watch on the iPad.
10:35And you'll watch it with us?
10:36Shirtless?
10:37Yeah, sure.
10:38But not the shirtless thing.
10:40Man, Sam is true boon to the house.
10:42Too bad small men hate his guts.
10:44Seriously, it'd be great to have you ghosted us whenever Sam goes out of town.
10:48Agreed.
10:49Because even my tier one ghost power has limits.
10:52I can poke, but I can't grab.
10:54It's probably for the best.
10:55It wouldn't be fair.
10:56Grabbing would make me a god.
10:57Yeah, well, unfortunately, I think this might be the last time I'm here.
11:02It's a bummer.
11:02I really enjoy being around livings who know my secret.
11:06And Jay seems like a really nice guy.
11:08Well, what if we were able to help you mend fences with Jay?
11:11Fence mandate?
11:12Now, there's a shirtless activity if you've ever heard one.
11:14What do you mean, Sass?
11:15Well, I mean, you got a bunch of people right here who basically know everything there is to know about
11:19Jay.
11:19What if we helped you make inroads with him?
11:22I'm listening.
11:23Are you?
11:24I said turn light two minutes ago.
11:25Oh, sorry.
11:26Good little butler boy doing what we said.
11:28What?
11:29I said, let's help you win over Jay.
11:34I don't understand.
11:35This doesn't even look like a road.
11:37This is what the GPS said?
11:39If GPS stands for good Pete suggestion, then you betcha.
11:43What are you talking about?
11:44I'm saying the robot is no match for a travel agent.
11:47This thing was sending us straight into holiday traffic.
11:49It didn't even know about State Road 81.
11:51Trust me, this is a huge time saver.
11:56Crikey.
12:00Hey, what you doing?
12:02You watching football?
12:04Yeah.
12:05Cool.
12:05I love football.
12:08NFL.
12:09You got a team in this?
12:11Nope.
12:11I'm just hoping the Cowboys lose.
12:13Oh, yeah, me too.
12:14Big Giants fan.
12:16Those 80s teams were just the greatest.
12:18You know, Mark Bavaro, Phil Simms.
12:20And the linebackers, LT, Pepper Johnson.
12:23And the linebackers, LT, Pepper Johnson.
12:26Whoa, Kyle, you really know your stuff.
12:28Oh, like the Vikings.
12:30Does Boston have a team?
12:32What's their mascot?
12:33An alcoholic?
12:34How about that 1990 season when Sims got injured in, like, the last game?
12:38Hostetler came in and led the G-men on an epic Super Bowl run.
12:42Hostetler.
12:43Unforgettable.
12:43Talk about the best mustache since Magnum P.I.
12:47Say it.
12:48Trust him, dude.
12:49He's gotten you this far.
12:51Talk about the best mustache since Magnum P.I.
12:55Hell, yeah.
12:56Men require such tenuous ground for friendship.
12:59Hey, man, you want to sit down and watch the game?
13:00Did LT end Joe Theismann's career on Monday Night Football?
13:04Did LT end Joe Theismann's career on Monday Night Football?
13:08Oh, that's dark, Kyle.
13:10But I like it.
13:11Ah.
13:13Go Vikings!
13:14It was so loud.
13:17Come on, pick up.
13:19They counted 38 rings.
13:20I don't think they're answering.
13:22It was the last tow company in a 50-mile radius.
13:25You know, I can't help but feel partially responsible.
13:28You don't say.
13:29On the other hand, you did sort of force me to look for a shortcut because you refused
13:33to wear the Huggies pull-ups as I suggested.
13:35Was it because they had dinosaurs on them?
13:37Because those can be for gals, too.
13:38Just shut up.
13:39Shut up.
13:40Shut up.
13:40Shut up.
13:41Okay.
13:42I can't take it anymore.
13:43The tips and the quips and the stories in every town we passed.
13:47You knew a guy who worked at a place who did a thing.
13:49I'm just trying to be a good travel buddy.
13:51The only thing that you have done besides get us stranded in the middle of nowhere is
13:54annoy the crap out of me.
13:55I wish you weren't even here.
13:59Well, looks like you might get your wish.
14:03Oh, no.
14:08We have to get you home, Pete.
14:10Like you even care.
14:12I didn't mean what I said.
14:13I was stressed out and I took it out on you.
14:15Well, yeah.
14:16Travel's stressful.
14:17That's why people turn to qualified professionals, or at least they used to.
14:20Now it's just bleep, blorp, phone, bleep, bleep, bleep.
14:22It's not just the travel or your stories.
14:25It's, I don't know, the book.
14:28I know it's just a YA novel, but for me, it's a big deal.
14:33Nobody showed up at the signing.
14:35I still haven't heard anything about the sales numbers, which doesn't seem like it bodes well.
14:39There were a few people there.
14:41Remember that one guy that ran in so excited and he asked you that question?
14:44He wanted the bathroom code.
14:46He thought I worked there.
14:47Look, it makes total sense that you're stressed.
14:50But no matter how the book does, you already won.
14:52You're a published author.
14:54And I couldn't be prouder of you.
14:57And if this is how it ends, next to a broken down rental car outside of Dunbridge, Ohio,
15:05I'm just glad it's with you, Sam.
15:07Wait a second.
15:07Did you say Dunbridge, Ohio?
15:09I remember a long time ago, you told me a story about that place.
15:13Yeah, I get it.
15:13I tell too many stories.
15:14No, Pete, who was the guy you knew who worked in Dunbridge, Ohio?
15:17He had some sort of tour company?
15:20Shane Johnsonbaugh.
15:21Good man.
15:22Scratch golfer.
15:23I remember his mother had a wooden eye.
15:25Pete, look.
15:27Johnsonbaugh Tour Company.
15:28They're still in business.
15:30Maybe they could help us.
15:31I mean, Shane's probably long gone.
15:33It's worth a shot.
15:35I know, right?
15:37Walter Payton gets all the love, but Otis Anderson was the man.
15:41But how do those teams stack up against Eli Manning's Super Bowl teams?
15:47Oh, that is after my time.
15:50Uh, yeah, Manning, he was good.
15:53Okay, here's a fun one.
15:54If you could take one receiver from that team to start a new franchise with, who are you going with?
16:00Just say an extremely common name.
16:02Um, Archibald.
16:04Or Sven!
16:06M-Miller.
16:08Miller?
16:09Who's Miller?
16:11Uh, a receiver.
16:13Oh, this is hard to watch.
16:14Just say goodbye to our shirtless butler dreams.
16:17Kyle, name any giant from 2001 to 2020.
16:23Andre.
16:24You were using Trevor?
16:26Do you even know anything about football?
16:28Not in the way I think you're using it, but I am a really big soccer fan.
16:32Oh, my God.
16:33I'm sorry.
16:34I just, I thought that maybe if we bonded over something, it would help smooth things over.
16:39Not cool, man.
16:40And, Ghost, I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed.
16:46Nice work, Alberta.
16:48How is this on me?
16:50That is what you should be saying about your hat.
16:53Come on.
16:55Answer the phone.
16:57Hello?
16:58Hi.
16:58Uh, my name is Sam.
17:00Is this Shane Johnson-Baw who founded Johnson-Baw Tours?
17:03Uh, no.
17:04That was my dad, Shane Sr.
17:06Oh, okay.
17:06Well, my car broke down on State Road 81.
17:10And no one in the area can help me.
17:12I was hoping...
17:13Oh, lady.
17:14It's Thanksgiving.
17:15And what were you doing out on 81?
17:17That hasn't been a road in 20 years.
17:19Rub it in.
17:19Sorry, I knew it was a long shot.
17:22It's just...
17:24I'm a family friend of the late Pete Martino.
17:27Pete Martino?
17:28Forget it, Sam.
17:28I'm gone and clearly forgotten.
17:30He was friends with your dad.
17:33Man, I haven't heard that name since my dad passed away 10 years ago.
17:36He loved that guy.
17:38He said he always had the best stories.
17:40I'd have to agree with that.
17:42So, wait, you said you're stuck?
17:43Yeah, I just need a lift to the nearest bus station.
17:46I'm trying to get back to the Hudson Valley.
17:48Bus station?
17:48You know, for a friend of Pete Martino's?
17:51I think I can do you one better than that.
18:01Thank you, Shane!
18:09Pete is complete!
18:11Happy Thanksgiving, babe!
18:14You made it.
18:15You arrive in helicopter.
18:17Car is a landship, but you know helicopter?
18:20Here's what sky flies in Paw Patrol, so yes.
18:23Full familiar.
18:24The house smells incredible.
18:25Oh, soft hands.
18:27Jay's been cooking up a storm.
18:28Hey, Sam.
18:30Hey, Pete.
18:31Kai Guy.
18:32Hi, Kyle.
18:32Uh, thanks for babysitting the ghosts.
18:35Jay, I just want to say I'm, again, sorry for everything.
18:39I, uh, I don't have a lot of friends in my life because of the, you know, freak thing.
18:44Um, but, yeah, I'm gonna get out of your hair.
18:47I think Blimpy is open till six on holidays, so.
18:51What a sad history that knowledge implies.
18:55Are you okay if I invite him to stay?
18:57If you're comfortable with that.
18:59Kyle, wait.
19:00I overheard what you said, and yes, I'd love to stay.
19:03Yes!
19:04Man, Sam, back in the fold.
19:06Oh, well, let's all go freshen up.
19:08Kyle looks like he could use a long, steamy shower.
19:11Hetty, I can see you.
19:12Mm-hmm, I can see you too, scrub-a-dub-dub, butler boy.
19:19I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute to Sasapis and the Lenape people,
19:24so I prepared what the Lenape referred to as the three sisters,
19:29corn, beans, and squash.
19:31Kind of a long-winded way of saying you didn't make my yams and marshmallows.
19:34And now, as promised, the coup de grace, yams and marshmallows.
19:39Yes!
19:40The fourth and fifth sisters!
19:41Oh, let's go!
19:43Oh, this is so lame.
19:45Why are we at the kids' table?
19:47We're the newest ghosts.
19:48Hey, should we choreograph a dance and present it to the grown-ups?
19:51We're all grown-ups.
19:53Pete, we're post-grown-ups.
19:54We're dead.
19:55I would like to say something.
19:58Thanksgiving is about family and friends,
20:01and sometimes those are the people who annoy you the most.
20:05But they're also the people who you would miss the most if they weren't there.
20:09We're only in each other's lives for such a fleeting amount of time.
20:12Not that fleeting.
20:13And it's easy to get caught up in reaching a goal or getting to a certain destination.
20:19But what matters is who you're on the journey with.
20:23Right back at you, Sammy.
20:26Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
20:28Even Isaac, who was a colonizer.
20:31A gay colonizer.
20:33All right.
20:34I'm going into the dirt to find patients.
20:36All right.
21:01A gay colonizer.
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