- 4 hours ago
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00:07What the hell was that?
00:14Hello?
00:16Jay?
00:22Surprise!
00:24Carol!
00:25What are you doing here?
00:26You got sucked off!
00:27You're right, and I've been having a blast up there.
00:31I can't say too much, but they have pickleball.
00:34That's it. That's all I'll say.
00:36Carol, what is happening?
00:37I'm your little Christmas Carol.
00:39You see, around Christmas, we Carols are given special powers,
00:43including the ability to grant wishes.
00:45Oh, also, we can give out candy canes.
00:51I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding.
00:53I didn't make a wish.
00:55Oh, yes, you did. You said, and I quote,
00:58I wish I had never been able to see ghosts.
01:02Okay, so why are you here?
01:05I'm here to show you what your life would be like
01:08if you'd never tripped on that vase,
01:10if you had never fallen down the stairs,
01:13if you had never gained the ability to see ghosts.
01:17Wow.
01:17So let's get this started.
01:19Sam, you're coming with me.
01:23Well, that was supposed to whoosh us away,
01:25but it's my first time.
01:27Hey, I need to get some steps in anyway.
01:30Let's go.
01:35You know, Carol, I'm actually feeling a little silly
01:38about this whole wishing not to see ghosts thing.
01:40Holy crap, am I day drinking with Sasha and Libby?
01:44Sam, this eggnog is delicious.
01:46And these gingerbread men you made?
01:48So cute.
01:49Not to brag, but I think this one is flirting with me.
01:52Look at you, just enjoying a little Christmas Eve tipple
01:55with two of your closest gal pals.
01:57But I don't get it.
01:58Sasha thinks I'm crazy.
02:00No, Sasha thought you were crazy
02:02because she caught you performing a seance for the ghosts.
02:04And she thought you and Jay were murderers.
02:06But that was because of the ghosts.
02:08In this world, none of that happened.
02:11So she thinks I'm sane.
02:12Yep, and not just sane.
02:15Funny.
02:16Short, bald, and covered in crumbs.
02:18I'm sorry, is this a gingerbread man
02:20or the guy I dated before Jay?
02:23Sam, you are hilarious.
02:26Without the ghosts interrupting you all the time,
02:27you're actually a much better conversationalist.
02:30Man, I'd love to see these ladies in bikinis.
02:33How does this place not have a hot tub?
02:35Ugh, disgusting.
02:37Bright.
02:37But you can't hear him, so you don't care.
02:39I hate to say it, but we've got to run.
02:42Next time at my place?
02:43Uh, do you have wine?
02:45Of course.
02:45Then yeah, I think I'll be there.
02:52So, what am I doing now?
02:54Oh, just sitting there.
02:55Since you're not always taking care of the ghosts,
02:57you actually have time to yourself.
03:00Whoa.
03:01I can't remember the last time I just sat and read a book.
03:04And look at me, I don't even mind that Trevor's reading over my shoulder.
03:07I'm pretty sure he's trying to look down your dress,
03:09but hey, you don't know, so who cares?
03:12Stupid camisole, I'm getting nothing.
03:15So, if I have all this free time,
03:18I guess that means the B&B still isn't doing very well.
03:20Are you kidding?
03:21Without the ghost to worry about,
03:23you've really been able to throw yourself into making this place a success.
03:27The B&B is thriving.
03:30Oh, come on.
03:34Woodstone B&B, how may I help you?
03:37Freddy, he used to work here.
03:38He was incredible, but he quit.
03:40He quit because of the ghosts,
03:42but now he's all in on Woodstone.
03:44I'm so sorry we don't have any availability until January 17th.
03:48Hold on, the B&B is sold out?
03:50Great, we'll see you then.
03:53Who keeps searching Girls Gone Wild on this thing?
03:56I should have gone to Arizona State.
03:59I'm home!
04:00Hey, Freddy!
04:01Jay, I missed you!
04:02I missed you too.
04:06Uh-oh, mistletoe!
04:10She could do so much better.
04:12I gotta admit, this life looks pretty great.
04:15And Trevor seems pretty much the same.
04:17How are the other ghosts doing?
04:19Well, why don't we find out?
04:21Huh, it's still not working.
04:23Looks like we're huffing it again.
04:25And that concludes my lecture on different kinds of knots.
04:28Tomorrow, Thorfinn will be giving a talk on trout.
04:31We'll be similar to herring lecture, but more trout-focused.
04:34I'm in hell.
04:35Okay, so this all seems pretty standard.
04:38I guess the ghosts are just doing the same kind of stuff they did before I met them.
04:41So, Alberta, you excited for our upcoming wedding?
04:44Aw, Alberta and Peter getting married, that's sweet.
04:47Yeah, I mean, I get to sing, which would be a nice little treat for everybody.
04:51Although, I may be a little surprised they're finally going through with it.
04:55Oh, so it's not Pete and Alberta.
04:57You know what?
04:58If they're happy, I'm happy.
04:59Well, one of them is definitely happy.
05:01Carol, who are they talking about?
05:03Hello!
05:05Oh, we look forward to seeing you at our nuptials this afternoon.
05:10Huzzah!
05:11Isaac and Hedy?
05:12But that is impossible.
05:14And yet, in this world, it's happening.
05:16Your wish.
05:17We just wanted to remind you that the ceremony is to begin promptly at two o'clock.
05:21Weather permitting, of course.
05:23The wedding is indoors, my love.
05:25Right, right, right.
05:26Could be a tornado.
05:28No, no.
05:29The only tornado shall be tonight.
05:31You know, a marriage bid.
05:34Oh.
05:34Hmm.
05:42Wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:43Carol, what is going on?
05:44Isaac can't marry Hedy?
05:45He's gay.
05:48Why did you whisper that?
05:49I don't know.
05:50It seemed like a weird thing to shout.
05:52Here's the thing.
05:53Isaac only came out because you were there to support him.
05:56Without you, he still hasn't figured out who he truly is.
06:00Huh.
06:01I guess I did have kind of a big effect on him.
06:03You've had a big effect on all of them.
06:06Without you, Alperda never found out who killed her.
06:08Thor's still having his night terrors, and Pete never learned he could leave the property.
06:12He never even tried?
06:14He was told he couldn't, and the man loves rules.
06:17He won a goldfish at the state fair once and reported it on our taxes.
06:22Let me guess.
06:23He also tried to report a free sample from the grocery store.
06:27It's actually the other Sam that's funny.
06:29Come on, I have a lot to show you.
06:31Christmas is always one of the toughest times to be dead.
06:34Wondering about my family.
06:36Are they doing okay?
06:38Do they even think about me?
06:39They do.
06:40Your daughter, Laura, named her son after you.
06:43Pete doesn't know that.
06:44In this world, you never invited me here to dedicate that weird bench.
06:48Pete never watched Laura get married.
06:50He doesn't even know little Pete.
06:52We'll also miss his family.
06:54Leave behind young son.
06:57We'll never get to know what he like as man.
06:59No, Thor.
07:01Your son is like a hundred yards away.
07:03Tragic.
07:04I hope he grew up to be a great warrior, kill many Danes, and never eat best friend.
07:11What?
07:11Nothing.
07:12Random example not taken from Thor's life.
07:15The nice thing about the holidays is that the girls on the dating apps are lonely as hell.
07:21I'm talking to like six separate livings right now.
07:23One may fly in from Miami to meet up.
07:25And what do you hope happens when she gets here?
07:27I don't know.
07:28Maybe she'll choke on something and die.
07:30It happens.
07:31I get it.
07:32Sex with women.
07:33Nothing like it.
07:34Which I know because of the 43 times.
07:37Oh, that's right.
07:38Sass is still hiding the fact that he's a virgin.
07:40This is painful.
07:42Has anyone found love?
07:43What about Thor and Flower?
07:44Not even close.
07:46Flower fell into the well two years ago.
07:49Flowers in the well?
07:50Well, she was until you filled it with cement.
07:52So now she's lost in the dirt.
07:54A fact she keeps forgetting and then quickly rediscovers in an endless cycle of horror.
07:59Okay.
08:00So is that it?
08:01Or do you have more bad news to show me?
08:03More bad news?
08:04The basement ghosts are really upset about your shiny new water heater.
08:10Wait.
08:11Everyone shut up.
08:13I think I heard a gurgle.
08:16Oh, there it is again.
08:18Sorry.
08:19That was my tummy.
08:20Oh, damn it, Stuart.
08:21You got her hopes up for nothing, you toad's ass.
08:25This newfangled water heater hasn't made a peep since that blonde witch put it in.
08:29God, I hate her.
08:31She's very rude.
08:32Last week I saw her drop a piece of pizza on the ground and pick it up and eat it.
08:37And it fell cheese side down.
08:40I think we can move on.
08:44What's going on here?
08:45Hedy, I need to talk to you about the wedding.
08:47Are you still waffling on a best man?
08:49I do agree, slim pickings.
08:52But Sasabies probably presents the most handsome stage picture.
08:56No, it's more than that.
08:59Oh my gosh, is he going to tell her?
09:01Could you just watch?
09:02You'd be a very annoying person to go see a movie with.
09:05Maybe we push it.
09:06What?
09:07Why rush a wedding in the dead of winter when spring is just around the corner?
09:11Because we were supposed to get married in spring.
09:13Last spring.
09:15And you wanted to push till summer, citing the April racket of the birds.
09:18But then summer was too hot, and then fall came around, and you started whining about
09:22how it's the season when you're most sleepy.
09:24I've always been very sleepy in the fall.
09:25Everyone knows that.
09:26Isaac, what's wrong?
09:28If there is something else going on, just tell me.
09:34Well, actually.
09:35Come on.
09:37Isaac, tell her.
09:38She's your dearest friend.
09:40You can trust her.
09:44Wedding prank.
09:45I'm sorry.
09:46What?
09:47You've been wedding pranked.
09:50Huzzah!
09:52Score one for Higgintude.
09:54You should have seen the look on your face.
09:55You were freaking out.
09:57Indeed!
09:59Oh, it's funny.
10:00I don't want to have this talk again.
10:02Oh, sounds like the show's about to start.
10:04Come on.
10:04It's Christmas Eve.
10:05You can't go back into the city already.
10:07You just got home.
10:08I don't know what you want me to tell you.
10:09I have to work.
10:10These two back at it.
10:12Classic Sam and Jay fight.
10:14It's like tiffs between Whoopie and Megan.
10:16But they can't cut the commercial.
10:18We get to see everything.
10:20Wait, why is Jay working in the city?
10:22Jay never wanted to move out here, remember?
10:24He only stayed because of your accident.
10:27But in this world, you were just pulling him away
10:29from his cooking and his friends and his career.
10:33Didn't he open his own restaurant at the B&B?
10:35Without the ghosts, the idea for Mahesh
10:37never came up.
10:38So Jay's resentment built
10:40until he finally took a job back in the city.
10:42Ooh, Sam's mad.
10:44There goes the Bane.
10:45Can't you just call in sick or something?
10:47I don't want to call in sick.
10:48I love my job.
10:49Yeah, but you're never here.
10:51I never wanted to be here.
10:53You dragged me here.
10:57Not nice to drag people places.
10:59Skin on back of head wear away quicker than you think.
11:03This one time.
11:04I don't want to hear it though.
11:05Oh.
11:06We seemed so happy together this morning.
11:08A performance for your assistant, Freddy.
11:11He's seen so many of your fights,
11:13so now you guys overcompensate in front of him.
11:15Okay.
11:16Let's give this one more shot.
11:20Isaac Higentut and Henrietta Woodstone.
11:22Holy crap.
11:23It worked.
11:24It's so lovely to be gathered here today
11:25with you and all of your closest friends.
11:27Fun.
11:28My sincere hope is that the two of you
11:30enjoy a marriage as loving and as loyal
11:33as what I had with Carol.
11:35Whoopsie.
11:35Now, if anyone here sees any reason
11:37why these two should not wed,
11:39then now would be a great time to pipe up.
11:43Nothing?
11:44Really?
11:46Captain Higentut.
11:48Lieutenant Colonel Chesham.
11:50You've come.
11:51Yes.
11:51I know we've had our differences,
11:53but I couldn't let you get married
11:55without saying...
11:58Come on, Nigel.
11:59You got this.
12:01Congratulations.
12:03Okay.
12:05Well, I guess there's nothing left to do
12:07except continue.
12:10And let's go on ones.
12:13Anyone?
12:14Look at me.
12:15I'm 15 feet away from this train wreck
12:17and there's nothing I can do.
12:19Why do I look so happy?
12:21Jay and I just had a huge fight.
12:23Well, you're not going to want to hear this one,
12:25but with you and Jay growing apart,
12:27you started an emotional affair
12:28with someone you met online.
12:31What?
12:31Who?
12:34No.
12:36No.
12:36No.
12:37No.
12:44Okay, I'll call you when I get to the city.
12:46No, Jay, don't go.
12:48Okay.
12:49Hedy, do you take this man
12:51to be your lawfully wedded husband?
12:53I do.
12:54You've got to stop this.
12:55None of this is right.
12:56I'm sorry, Sam.
12:57It's too late.
12:58What do you mean?
12:59Isaac, do you take this woman
13:00to be your lawfully wedded wife?
13:02Well, you made a wish
13:03and I was sent here to grant it.
13:05I do.
13:06But this isn't what I want.
13:08Hedy and Isaac,
13:10I now pronounce you husband and wife.
13:11Isaac, you may kiss the bride.
13:19That's it.
13:20The tour's over.
13:21This is now your life.
13:22Merry Christmas, Sam.
13:29No!
13:31Oh, great.
13:33I know someone objects.
13:34I mean, I love you.
13:37Oh.
13:42Carol?
13:43Carol!
13:44Come back!
13:46What's wrong with Sam?
13:46I want things to go back
13:48to the way they were.
13:49I want Pete and Alberta
13:50to be dating again.
13:52Me and Pete?
13:52How does she know our names?
13:54Sass shouldn't be hiding
13:55the fact that he's a virgin.
13:57Virgin?
13:58Okay, yeah,
13:58tell that to all my satisfied customers.
14:00And I want to live in a world
14:01where Isaac is proud to be gay.
14:04Gay?
14:05A red-blooded billy goat like me?
14:08You jest.
14:09Most of all,
14:10I want Jay back.
14:12I don't care if things aren't perfect
14:15or if our life is complicated sometimes.
14:18I just want to face it all with him.
14:20I wish things could go back
14:23to how they were.
14:24I wish I could see ghosts again.
14:30That's my girl.
14:31Welcome back, Sam.
14:39I can see you.
14:41Hedy, can you hear me?
14:43Alberta, can you see me?
14:45What's with Sam?
14:46She sounds like Yentl.
14:47Oh, thank God.
14:48I made a terrible wish
14:50that I couldn't see ghosts
14:51and then Carol granted it.
14:53My Carol?
14:54Yes, but she was Christmas Carol
14:55and everything was messed up.
14:57You were there, Isaac,
14:59but you were marrying Hedy.
15:01And you were there, Thor,
15:02but you didn't know your son.
15:04Was I there?
15:05I don't really remember.
15:07The point is,
15:08I regret what he said.
15:09I'm sorry.
15:10I'm so happy I can see you guys.
15:12I was just upset.
15:14Hey, uh,
15:14I was just talking to that guy, babe,
15:16and I'm not...
15:19Whoa.
15:20What was that for?
15:22For everything.
15:23I love you, Jay.
15:27Whoa.
15:28I think I fell asleep for a few minutes,
15:30but then the smooching woke me up.
15:33Hey, man, it's Flower.
15:35What?
15:35What's happening?
15:39Jay, it's me.
15:41Flower possessed me.
15:43Thor did it as a gift to her.
15:44Next year, we'll only give sex coupon.
15:46It's enough.
15:48What?
15:48Okay, well, we gotta get Flower out of you
15:50before this interview.
15:51What interview?
15:51I thought I blew the interview.
15:53What are you talking about?
15:55The interview hasn't happened yet.
15:56You were just getting your makeup done.
15:58There she is.
16:00It's showtime.
16:02Hey, man.
16:04Aren't you that guy from TV?
16:06You know, I was on TV once.
16:08I flashed the second basement
16:09at a San Francisco Giants game.
16:11Cool.
16:12Maybe we don't mention stuff like that
16:14on the air, huh?
16:15This way, please.
16:17Flower.
16:18Sam.
16:18Flower, Sam.
16:19Okay.
16:20This is right over here.
16:21Cool.
16:22Oh, guys, you know what?
16:24Actually, I think Sam needs to go outside
16:27for just a minute.
16:28Sorry, we're about to go live.
16:29We need to buy Sam some time
16:31to regain control and get to the boundary.
16:33I got this.
16:40Walter, just a minute.
16:41I'm picking up a weird room tone.
16:42Guys, can we fix this now?
16:44Tiny camera.
16:47Feel Odin's wrath!
16:49Oh, we lost picture.
16:51Unbelievable.
16:52All right, we need a battery change
16:53on camera one.
16:54This is incredible teamwork.
16:56And if it were St. Patrick's Day,
16:57I'd be jumping in
16:58with a contribution of my own.
17:03Whoa, what the?
17:05Hey, hold the roll.
17:06Let's get this cleaned up.
17:07All right, we're taking a type two,
17:09then we're going live.
17:10Take control, Sam.
17:11This is your moment.
17:14I'm back.
17:14Now go!
17:15Get to the boundary.
17:18Run!
17:19Run!
17:20Like there's a sail in Old Navy!
17:31Man, Pringles were good.
17:33Sorry about all that possession stuff, Sam.
17:36All good.
17:38She's back!
17:39All right, I think we're good to go.
17:41Camera's ready?
17:43You good, babe?
17:45We're live in three.
17:49That's right, Jill.
17:50I'm here in New York's Hudson Valley
17:52with author of Isaac Higgintooth,
17:54Colonial Vampire.
17:56Hey, Sam, thanks for being here.
17:57Thank you so much for having me.
17:59And so this is a book
18:00where you can have a laugh,
18:02maybe a cry,
18:03and hopefully learn something
18:05about the origins of our nation.
18:06Well, I certainly enjoyed
18:08when George Washington turned into a bat.
18:10Did that really happen?
18:12I'm kidding, of course.
18:13Well, anyhow, thanks, Sam.
18:15Jill, back to you.
18:17Oh, you crushed it, Sam!
18:19And if I had money
18:20and the ability to turn pages,
18:22I would buy your book for sure.
18:23Babe, you were amazing.
18:26Thanks, Jay.
18:27I couldn't have done it without you.
18:29Without any of you.
18:31I just feel so lucky
18:32to have all of you in my life.
18:33Even Thor?
18:35Yes, Thor.
18:36Even you.
18:36And not to relitigate,
18:38but you did sort of say
18:40to surprise you.
18:42We'll leave it at that.
18:43I know the possession wasn't ideal,
18:46but it was a really groovy gift.
18:48I mean, I got to take drugs
18:49for the first time in 60 years.
18:51I'm sorry, what do you mean
18:52you took drugs?
18:53The mistletoe.
18:54The drug I got from Gabe.
18:55I took it.
18:56Well, we took it
18:57on my way back
18:58from the restaurant.
18:59Wow, look at that.
19:01You were high as a kite.
19:03I suppose that explains
19:04this whole visit
19:05from Carol nonsense.
19:07I guess it does.
19:08Okay, I can't help it.
19:09I got to watch it again.
19:11I'm so proud of you, babe.
19:22Hey, Trevor, help me out
19:23with this scratch and sniff
19:24Sam got me for Christmas.
19:28Come on, come on, come on.
19:34Wow, for a piece of paper
19:37with cartoon eyes
19:37and a pepperoni bow tie.
19:39That's pretty good.
19:40Great days.
19:41Ah, every time.
19:43Patience.
19:44What's up?
19:45I come with good news.
19:47Your disappointment
19:49at our parting gave me pause.
19:51What?
19:51What are you saying?
19:52I'm saying that
19:53I now believe
19:54that we should be together.
19:58Yeah, but
20:01different worlds.
20:02Oh.
20:03Sometimes that first thought
20:04is the best thought.
20:06Oh, but that can be remedied.
20:07I have met your friends
20:08and you can meet my people.
20:10Where is this going?
20:11Trevor Lefkowitz,
20:13dweller of the overground,
20:14son of Abraham,
20:15holder of my heart.
20:17Allow me to introduce you
20:18to the others.
20:24Oh, holy night.
20:48Oh, holy night.
20:50Oh, holy night.
20:52Oh, holy night.
20:56Oh, holy night.
20:56Oh, holy night.
20:57Oh, holy night.
20:57Oh, holy night.
20:57Oh, holy night.
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