Mock the Week S22E06

Reality Central USA

Mock the Week S22E06  # #RealityCentralUSA "If you enjoyed this video and want to support our team by helping us fund our late-night coffee needs, please donate via PayPal! ☕️ A small act – a big impact. Thank you all so much! ❤️" Donate at: [https://www.paypal.me/ngaxo]

Transcript

00:29Transcription by CastingWords

00:43Transcription by CastingWords

01:28Transcription by CastingWords

01:40Transcription by CastingWords

01:56Transcription by CastingWords

02:08Transcription by CastingWords

02:32Transcription by CastingWords

02:54Transcription by CastingWords

03:20Transcription by CastingWords

03:31Transcription by CastingWords

03:37Transcription by CastingWords

03:56Transcription by CastingWords

03:59Transcription by CastingWords

04:02Transcription by CastingWords

04:03Transcription by CastingWords

04:08Transcription by CastingWords

04:10Transcription by CastingWords

04:12Transcription by CastingWords

04:14Transcription by CastingWords

04:16Transcription by CastingWords

04:17our first ever uh super mario mp she is yes a plumber who we haven't seen do any plumbing

04:24yeah wants to legalize mushrooms i think i'm turning into my nan because i keep referring

04:31to her as a lady plumber that is a big debate yeah yeah right and i i hate myself every

04:35time

04:35i say it i feel what's going to happen i'm going to wake up vote reform and try and turn

04:39on the

04:39dishwasher with the sky remote there's a whole thing about how because because like a female

04:44plumber sounds like creepy and weird so you're left with a lady plumber hello i'm a lady that's what

04:51i call my gynecology absolutely she's not a lady plumber i'm a lady plumber

05:00would it be fair to say that we've all been pretending we've always known what gorton and

05:05denton is i keep thinking it sounds like manufacturers who make trousers that old

05:12people can soil themselves in yeah yeah no no is that a company sorry is there companies that make

05:18trousers for old people it used to be on the back of sunday supplements but you're too young to

05:24remember them yeah dragons i'm asking for a hundred we will now do a demonstration over to you deborah

05:36she did say in her victory speech was like apologies to anyone who i've got appointments with i'm gonna have

05:40cancel and if you did have an appointment with her but she was going to fix like dude you'd be

05:45so

05:45pissed off yeah but you'd want to take it to your local mp you turn up and you're like you

05:51jesus right

05:52this is a bloody racket round here the thing is that zach polanski who's the leader of the greens

05:57isn't an mp right he's not a sitting mp she now is so she's more powerful than him

06:01so every anytime he tells her to do something she'll be like yeah all right billy no see why don't

06:05you do it

06:05yourself i think hannah i think you should ask the prime minister oh i think i think get your own

06:10seat you can ask him yourself you dickhead it's nice that the party called labor has been defeated

06:16by a woman who's done some but the harsh thing is for starma because it's obviously it's a huge loss

06:23for labor yes but they didn't win this um and one of the main reasons they won is because she

06:28was

06:28campaigning on being a plumber and the only reason she could be a plumber is with tools made by starma's

06:33dad everyone's angry with starma but they're going to be even angrier when they find out how

06:40much promoting of foreign manufacturing he does apparently the first word he said in his wedding

06:46vows was ikea how did a reform react to their loss at the by-election they claimed it was rigged

06:59they did they said there was family voting yeah uh but i think that's also just reform being

07:04suspicious of the concept of loved ones that's what that is what families are isn't it it's like

07:12yeah we live in a democracy as society but within that society and democracy is a thousand mini

07:19dictatorships that is what families are parents are dictators aren't they like i didn't get a vote

07:24as a kid as to whether or not i got christened that was decided by this sort of mussolini figure

07:29who raised me and her puppet husband one half term right me and my siblings won the democratic vote

07:38to go to thorpe park okay what's that democracy upheld no we went to halfords it's all dictatorships of

07:45course this is how it works you're a dictator you've got kids you're a dictator yeah of course i am

07:54you're going to get this model train to run on time uh meanwhile uh what have the clintons been up

08:04to

08:04this week um managing the greetings card company

08:13you're absolutely right there paul goes meanwhile what have bill and hillary clinton

08:17been up to this week should be more specific they've been being deposed about their being in

08:23the epstein files yes right so and the thing is like bill clinton is sort of the one guy where

08:29you're

08:29like it'd be weirder if you haven't been like you know what like you find out that stephen hawking

08:35was there and you're like sorry what and then someone says that clinton was there and you're

08:39like oh yeah the sex president yeah yeah the guy who the guy who you know had sex in the

08:44oval office

08:45how would he not have been there i mean how like epstein would be in clinton's files

08:51just like clinton clearly has a type and that type is women with large black boxes around their face

09:00that square thing it's become so iconic now uh that uh i'm gonna do an app that just will like

09:06redact your photos on your phone just randomly uh so when you're flicking through just redacted faces

09:11just appear uh i think that is dragons if you give me 50 grand for a redacted one uh so

09:21randomly your

09:21photographs will just we'll just have somebody how upsetting would it be though if you did that on

09:32your phone randomly and it just covered up your face also yeah dara no one would ever be able to

09:38work out who that was yeah yeah you might want to redact the words mock the week behind you

09:56that's what it looks like when two ahead of you is a mega bus but ahead of you is a

10:02hearse

10:10so moving on how are counselors cracking down on fly tipping why would they do that if a fly gives

10:16you good service you're right really mean i've got a fly tip if you wear a button rather than a

10:29zip

10:30you'll never forget to do it back up would you match i you know i remember the 5010 my cock

10:37was

10:37always hanging out well i know i've worked with you for you and that's why you're now redacted

10:47sorry it just reminded me of a story my friend got on a train and went to the toilet and

10:51he

10:51accidentally hooked i can't tell it just for the room right don't bring but we'll put a black square

10:57over it he went to the toilet so he had his earphones on and uh when he came out he

11:02hadn't realized

11:03that when he'd done his trousers up the earphone cord had wrapped around his business and then when

11:08he got back into the train he put his earphones on and just pulled his panace

11:21oh the rest is history what a weird december when your spotify wrapped is just your dick

11:29presumably he wouldn't have been able to hear everyone screaming the good thing is if we all

11:34do a joke about it it has to go do you know what he was very embarrassed and he let

11:46himself down a bit

11:47but no one knew because he was wearing a fresh pair of gorton and gentry

11:53at the end of that round the points go to angela aher and glenn

11:59join us after the break for more mock the week

12:11now we play a game called you think that's bad in a world where everything seems to be going wrong

12:15this is a chance for a performance to compete to outdo each other with tales of woe from their lives

12:19and i decide whose is the worst and you care to start us off i'll go first if you like

12:23i bought um

12:24a tumble dryer this week because you know things are going all right and um i got it home and

12:29this

12:29tumble dryer is wi-fi enabled and i don't really understand why and it's made me really paranoid

12:34that the russians are gonna hack it and i think they have because the other day i took all the

12:39socks

12:39out and all the little ones were inside one big one you can actually save a lot of money on

12:47a wi-fi

12:48enabled dryer if you set a vpn to pretend it's somewhere warmer

12:55really going to say that you have some trousers that really need washing

12:58i don't actually because i wear gorton

13:03you think that's bad uh my girlfriend's got this parrot she keeps in this cage next to the bed i

13:07hate

13:07it so much because it's just such an idiot it's like genuinely the dumbest parrot i've ever seen

13:11in my life it thinks i'm called jonathan it keeps asking me to it harder it's like my name is

13:15peace

13:17if you think that's bad uh i once texted my dad saying hi dad can you pick me up tonight

13:23but my

13:24phone changed the word pick to oil yeah okay peter mandelson we believe you think that's bad the

13:34woman i'm seeing at the moment thinks my name's jonathan

13:46everything has just fallen into place if you think that's bad last week my wife and i watched

13:52all the episodes of game of thrones back to back unfortunately i wasn't the one facing the screen

14:04oh what's the dragon like tell me what the dragon is like

14:09you think that's bad when i was at school i once uh call my teacher dad uh instead of daddy

14:16you think that's bad uh i just booked a non-refundable holiday to dubai in a week's time

14:20i think that's bad i've had a difficult life my earliest memory is getting hit

14:25around the head with a cricket bat when i was 28. i think that's bad i tried to impress a

14:32girl

14:32once by putting my foot down on the pedal but apparently she'd seen a bin open like that before

14:37i think that's bad my own phone auto-corrects my name to the word

14:45shit i'll hear it to shit not charter shit you'd assume it'd be charter shit wouldn't you yeah

14:51i wouldn't perceive any of that i didn't know all that corrects my first name to the word

14:55shit auto-corrects my surname to the word shag

14:59which you are

15:05angela and i had a very acrimonious divorce

15:08if you think that's bad i've never even had a boyfriend

15:18i've never had a boyfriend in the edit just use that

15:21at the end of that round the points go to angela aher and claire

15:28the next round is called redacted redacted andrew redacted mansel redacted island

15:37this game involves angela and milton so if you could make your way to the performance area please

15:40this round is a stand-up challenge i launched a wheel of news and where we choose to stop

15:44one of our performances step forward and talk about that subject the winner is whoever i think

15:48is the funniest okay here we go let's our first topic please let's spin the wheel

15:54the first tribute is nudity who wants to come in that angela the look of fear on the audience's

16:00faces it's like i'm not good at being naked i don't like being naked i've tried all those things

16:06you're supposed to do to be okay with your own naked body you know you're supposed to stand in

16:10front of a mirror and say out loud all the things you love about your body but unfortunately the

16:14only thing i ever come up with is left nipple marginally less hairy than right yeah i wish i was

16:20more german really german people are really good at being naked you'll know if you've ever been on

16:24holiday to the canary islands you'll know it's just english pubs and german penises as far as the eye

16:29can say well they have the highest number of nudists per capita in the world that's truth the

16:35germans they love getting it out and they do but they do it in a very german way you know

16:38they're not

16:39all embarrassed like we are a red face they don't why wouldn't i want to get the air on all

16:43my bits

16:43it's just very german and um and i read about this because it there's a german nudist movement you might

16:49have seen their their beaches all over europe they're called the fkk beaches you know the frei

16:54corporal culture the free body movement and i'm telling you about it because i read about the man who

16:58started that movement in the 1920s in germany and his name was i shit you not adolf cock now

17:07i can't stop thinking about adolf cock back in 1920s germany because i think there must have been a

17:13moment must have there must have been a moment where he went oh no oh no i started a nudist

17:18movement and

17:19my last name is english slang for male genitalia oh no thank god i've got a nice normal first name

17:27he didn't know did he what was gonna happen he didn't know what was around the corner that's

17:31how you know that hitler's the worst dictator isn't it because he's ruined both his names you can't

17:35call a baby adolf anymore you're not allowed to you can still call a baby benito you can still call

17:40a baby joseph i said it to my friend he said yeah you can still call a baby paul i

17:44said paul he said paul

17:45pot i said that's not his name that leaves us with milton let's see what your topic is spin the

18:02wheel

18:04topic is espionage

18:17the russians have infiltrated everything even the instructions to my cottage pie last night said putin

18:30microwave do you need to know something ladies and gentlemen i've spent some time in the secret

18:35services yet the ones between swansea and cardiff on the m4 where all the signs are encrypted

18:53i'm not quite sure why i lost my job with mi5 as an interrogator and i didn't like to ask

19:02they said that reports have been defecting in a stairwell i said they needed to read the reports

19:07more carefully i was sponsored by gorton and denton another time i was supposed to

19:21brought bombs under ships in the harbor i accidentally filled all our breathing equipment

19:25with nitrous oxide i mean we laughed about it at the time

19:32another time i woke up in the middle of the night was a beautiful woman in my bedroom i said

19:36who are you

19:36what do you want she looked at me and went nikita and sure enough when i woke up in the

19:43morning

19:43my radiator was missing

19:57it's not a nick heater

20:01it's not easy to kill not even a mouse in fact i'm still banned from euro disney

20:07it's not easy to kill not even a mouse in the middle of the night

20:08thank you very much jones

20:13give that round the points go to andrea

20:15both of you come back please

20:21join us after the break for more mock the week

20:33our next round is called picture of the week i show the panel topical image and ask them to tell

20:37me

20:37what is happening so teams what's going on here it looks like 8 pm christmas day when one person has

20:44still got their paper hat on

20:48it's a it's it's a serious occasion so he's wearing the formal presidential trucker hat

20:54that that hat was actually lincoln's

20:57is this a picture of the happiest meal anyone's ever had in a harvester

21:02that guy coming in through the curtain going sorry i've got this room book from four for zumba

21:08is that what chat gpc will show you if you say can i see american mock the week

21:15would this be the least appropriate time ever for a photographer to say

21:19now let's do a silly one is this photo taken like two minutes after he said which one is iraq

21:25and which one is iraq come on donald let's just plan one more bombing then you can stand in front

21:31of the map again and pretend to do the weather well they've hung black curtains and drapes all

21:38around and it's completely changed the shape of the room let's see what the owners think

21:42i'm going to do something no president has ever had the bravery to do bomb the middle east

21:50that woman does look like she's just said we did save that we would wear white today

21:58imagine keir starmer wearing a hat with gb written on it i mean gordon brown all right

22:04anyone have the correct answer please it's it's operation epic fury it is of course thank you

22:09very much yes this is you as president donald trump pictured in the situation room from where

22:16operation epic fury was launched this is news of the united states and israel launched extensive

22:20airstrikes against iran in response iran has launched retaliatory strikes across the region

22:24and at the time of recording the conflict is still ongoing we are aware there's a very

22:28sensitive and fast-moving situation and obviously we're everyone's choice mock the week to discuss

22:33this at some detail they've all required yeah mock the week they'll do a brilliant job of really

22:39no digging down in a sensitive way to what is a very delicate situation internationally uh yeah epic

22:44fury isn't it so american is it might as well call it operation kaboom but they should be calling

22:50it is operation distract everyone from the epstein files for a bit it's not the most FIFA peace prize

23:00thing he's done no i will say that that and while that's maybe not the most important thing in some

23:07ways it is quite the most striking thing that he's the first person to ever host a world cup and

23:11bomb one

23:12of the participants in the build up there's very few there are very few precedents for that like

23:18i think you'll find italy did it to trinidad and tobago in 2006

23:24very much yes yes there are a lot of clever people out there i mean you remember saddam hussein

23:28he had a degree in chemistry and combined in humanities

23:35where is the this is the uh i just i love that you just move on

23:44never dignify milton with response you just turn away

23:48i think the timing of it is it gives it gives it its time and then we move on yeah

23:52that's absolutely

23:53what we should do this is the situation room uh from which this was launched where is this

23:57top secret secure is it a wedding venue it looks like they've just called it off a bit of a

24:02wedding it's very much at a wedding it's got all the security of a mum holding a towel in front

24:06of

24:06you at the beach what's happening are they saying please stop talking about the war yeah sort of

24:15can i remind you that you asked us yeah at no point did i go yes i know we're having

24:20some fun

24:20talking about shitting yourself into trousers i'd like to talk about the war please

24:47that's that's the smile of a man who actually has a nuclear weapon

24:52this is how you solve a small boat crisis he looks so shy doesn't he know he's beautiful

25:00he is he's so cute he is cute we have to admit he is cute he might be evil but

25:06he's cute he's

25:07like a labubu made of asbestos he is cute is he a little grab the cheeks yeah do you remember

25:16like

25:1620 years ago you get like photos developed at the chemist and then sometimes you end up getting

25:20someone else's photos they'd always look like this photo so the busy morning playing jango with massive

25:27bricks yes of course it's a story that supreme leader of north korea kim jong-un has officially

25:34named his successor as his 13 year old daughter kim ju-ae there is another photograph released in this

25:40week wearing matching leather jackets looking very cool there they go whoa their jackets are matching

25:49where'd they get them the the same shot

25:56they're the same height and they're nearly 100 bees tall what is amazing is that that north korea is

26:03going to have a female leader before the labor party day i didn't realize that kim jong-un

26:10succeeded his own father and it's just like it's so annoying when you really like somebody and then

26:15you realize they're a nepo baby moving on what have shop differences in the uk been targeting

26:22chocolate bar yes it's a it's like a gang thing yeah they found um bodies of 10 men wearing concrete

26:29shoes in wonka's chocolate river now apparently there was one man was found with a a coat full

26:37stuffed full with cadbury's cream eggs and reader i married him yeah chocolate has become the thing

26:45to steal now yeah there are lots of high value chocolates out there so freddo's are 45p now

26:50fuck off yeah that's the real chocolate crime 45 pence for freddo i can't believe people are

26:56stealing chocolate maybe they should put a bounty on their head i can't believe you didn't believe

27:11in that which is clearly the best joke of the entire show i remember years ago going into a news

27:17agent and opening a packet of pero rocher uh chocolate took the wrapper off and stuffed them

27:22down my trousers and then the shopkeeper stopped me on the way out and a couple of them just

27:26rolled out on the floor and he said are those chocolates and i said i hope so

27:33i did read the story about the the guy who was caught with a coat full of cream

27:38eggs and all i could think is obviously i don't condone violence but imagine if they'd shot him

27:47oh it's white white and yellow white and yellow this guy this guy appears to have come everywhere

27:58like in a movie going you made me come my own car

28:03oh my god i'm washing my hands and i'm washing my hands but the fondant won't come off

28:10is that better is that more than you want yeah

28:14yeah like that we can go back to the bit

28:16your choices insensitivity with the wall or cum jokes about cream eggs

28:21we only have two tones here and supermarkets are too accusatory anyway man whenever you're at the

28:28self-checkout it says have you swiped your nectar card it's like no i signed up for it fair and

28:31square

28:33they said that that they're being stolen to order right and i just think well surely

28:38everything's stolen because someone wants it who's going that looks shit i'll have it

29:02all right

29:03the next round is called between the lines it features glenn and reese would you make your way to

29:06the press pit please reese will deliver speech in the guise of a leading figure in the world stage

29:10while glenn will translate what they really mean this week reese is peter mandelson oh good

29:19good evening i am here to finally answer all your questions and at the end of the day

29:24there won't be a stain on my character i can't say the same about my pants

29:30i am not worthy of my peerage i'm the worst lord since voldemort

29:36let me be clear i am not the prince of darkness i have been stripped of that title

29:42i am now the mount baton windsor of darkness

29:48the idea of me as some evil manipulator is ridiculous

30:06my life is in ruins who in their right mind would consider employing me now

30:12i'm delighted to accept the role as manager of spurs

30:18i am proud to have created employment opportunities for young people thanks to

30:23jeffrey epstein my husband's a qualified osteopath

30:26i am embarrassed by the images of me in the epstein files i look like winnie the

30:30fucking poe i am still good friends with tony blair well you recently texted me saying sorry new phone

30:38who dis i still have plans to make a positive contribution i will destroy harry potter and

30:46become all-powerful and immortal

30:58so what is going on here

31:01is this a photograph of a man whose only proven crime is friendship

31:10there is a male loneliness epidemic

31:16you've got to check in on your mates 10 000 times a day

31:20it's okay not to be okay that's what he was emailing

31:23i mean you can live on an island and also be an island

31:28i recognize this that's the frustrated look of someone having to collect a parcel that's been

31:31left with a neighbor even though he was in all day

31:36it's weird to think that he's nelson mandela's son

31:45it's not commented on enough i think

31:48i mean you must be an awful disappointment as a family

31:51i can imagine being peter manderson now every time the phone rings he must

31:55himself but luckily he's wearing gorty

32:00okay at the end of that round the points are going to say a recent milk time

32:06join us after the rake for more mock the week

32:18we're going to talk to him now we play around gold what on earth i showed the panel a topical

32:22image

32:22and asked him to tell me what's happening so teams what's going on here

32:26paul

32:30is this how jeffrey epstein actually died

32:34is he saying come on iran who wants something

32:39the thing about this picture is that guy on the right's camouflage is good

32:42but the six guys on the left camouflage is

32:44is this the only gun that's got a trigger big enough for his finger

32:52has he just found an unconventional way to scatter his mum's ashes

33:01it does sort of have the vibe of mummy's dead and i can have a go now

33:07is he saying so during trooping of the color this can fire three t-shirts into the crowd

33:14oh man if that's all that came out that would be very fun if they did all that they would

33:17go boom boom boom boom three t-shirts of child

33:23is this just for if any more of his family decide to marry americans

33:29yes it's actually an air rifle

33:30yeah oh come on okay yeah first good good good yeah

33:39well welcome to radio four

33:44quip of the week

33:48oh god not the bbc anymore

33:50uh yes this is charles handling a missile launcher on a recent visit to an army barracks

33:57what further indignant has his brother andrew suffered this week oh it's terrible they've

34:01said that king charles has told him not to go horse riding but i think king charles just

34:05told him not to mount anything when was this then no no no it's clear that's a file photograph it

34:13wasn't he didn't immediately go well screw you the biggest issue was the whole thing question that's

34:20sugar i don't get why he would want to go horse riding anyway because that's kind of an activity that

34:26teenage girls are more oh i get it okay

34:31this doesn't look good no he looks horrible on a horse

34:35i don't think people would recognize him actually well you can see the bloke who was

35:05putting the lines on a football pitch just went right over him

35:11do you think he you know because he must be stressed at the moment with all this stuff that's

35:15going on yeah i'm sure it's his fault but he must have been do you think he listens to relaxation

35:19tapes to try and take the edge off and it's like just breathe imagine you're on a desert island

35:29and he goes

35:30apparently now he's been banned from river island

35:36at the end of that round the points go to angela aher and glenn

35:44and he's been banned from river island

35:44now we've come to scenes we'd like to see so if everyone can make their way over to the performance

35:48area i'll read it this week's topics and we'll see what our panels can come up with here we go

35:52the

35:52first subject is unlikely things to hear in hospital come straight through we're not busy

36:04so you're not going to believe this but um it turns out that with this sort of machine

36:09turning it off and on again is actually the worst thing you can do

36:15i'm afraid it's bad news i've left my wedding ring in your bum

36:24we have the results of your are you allergic to chairs test you might want to stand up for this

36:33so you sat down suddenly on a golf course and had sudden rectal pain that's a red flag for me

36:43okay just stand still for the x-ray great all right let's do a silly one

36:50you can't keep prescribing pizza dr oetker

36:58i've got the results from your x-ray he doesn't want to get back together

37:09well i was told that screaming and shitting yourself during childbirth was normal

37:13but now apparently i'm a bad midwife

37:20son of a bitch congratulations mr and mrs bitch it's a beautiful baby ball

37:28mr smith you've got a sausage up your nose mashed potato in your hair you need to eat more sensibly

37:37i appreciate that you're upset and i'm not trying to brag or anything but i said he had six months

37:42and i

37:42got it bang on

37:47madam when i said open wide i meant your mouth

37:52well mr wallace incredible to see they've done a very successful full face and full body transplant

37:58i'm in the wrong room

38:03yes we first became concerned that you had a problem with cholesterol when we took a slice of blood

38:14we've lost him oh no he's over there

38:21i'm afraid you're going to have to take a pill a day every day for the rest of your life

38:25so here's nine pills

38:32the parking here is free

38:40bad news you did shit yourself during surgery but good news you were wearing gorton and denton trousers

38:51going down yeah i'll tell you how your grandmother's operation went in a second

38:55but uh could you just press that button please the one that says morgue

39:01now don't worry this sort of shooting stabbing pain is very common in people who've been shot and stabbed

39:10i've been a doctor for 30 years of course you can show me your scar

39:20the surgery was a success we managed to amputate your leg with no problems and

39:24uh we kept the one with a cool tattoo that says amputate

39:29the next topic is things you wouldn't hear in a cooking show

39:35and this week it's a tricky skills test as we ask our chefs to negotiate peace in the middle east

39:44as you can see this lamb just falls right off the bone which is why we're at the vet

39:51i want that real home-cooked feel so i'm going to cock up the recipe

39:55throw it in the garden and tell my husband to cook his own dinner

40:02and today on celebrity masterchef the surrealist icelandic singer is cooking pork

40:13hate speech hate speech what do you mean hate speech i just want to know the chairman of the

40:17judges has a flavor of yogurt he doesn't like oh hates peach

40:26so if you just give a little uh tap on the bottom you'll lose your job at masterchef

40:33well as you can see chopping up onions has really made me cry but uh thank you for watching

40:38today's episode is in memory of our beloved family dog onions

40:46here's a little tip if you're making your own sourdough shut up about it nobody gives a

40:55today i'm making a classic roast chicken with an american twist the chicken's got a gun

41:04i've intentionally left the chicken raw in the middle because i know greg wallace is going to be

41:10tasting it

41:15simba i know you thought it was selling out to do a lion king cookery show but i brought you

41:22a sandwich

41:24tuna tomato

41:31okay this is mary berry saying you've got five minutes left bakers and i'm getting fucking hungry

41:41so

41:49now do be careful because if there's too much oil there's a chance you'll be bombed by the united

41:53states

41:59now i don't know if you do cheat days but when i do i like to call up the local

42:02italian and have sex

42:03with her instead of my wife

42:08simmer for 20 to 30 years and then snap and kill everyone

42:15well in 15 years of presenting bake-off that is the most delicious pastry i've ever tasted

42:20i think you've earned the famous paul hollywood hand job

42:29welcome to is it cake where you can't believe it's cake and we can't believe you watch this

42:34shit

42:38once again today we're going to be making fruit wine i'm going to be using my feet to crush the

42:43banana

42:44skin

42:50now this dessert is rather naughty in fact it features really quite prominently in the epstein files

42:58what the are you doing what the is that this piece of that's not a souffle that's a piece of

43:03you're a fucking low life how are you going to win junior masterchef like this

43:08thank you the end of that and the points are going to sarah reese and milton

43:15and that's the end of the show this week's winners are

43:22congratulations to mr jones reese james and sarah keyworth thank you for watching i'm daryl breen good

43:33night

43:35the world

Category

Transcript

Comments

Recommended