- 18 hours ago
- #realitycentralusa
#
#RealityCentralUSA
"If you enjoyed this video and want to support our team by helping us fund our late-night coffee needs, please donate via PayPal! ☕️
A small act – a big impact. Thank you all so much! ❤️"
Donate at: [https://www.paypal.me/ngaxo]
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:05This video is brought to you by R.I.P.
00:29Oh, my God.
01:07Oh, my God.
01:36Oh, my God.
01:37Oh, my God.
01:37Oh, my God.
01:39Oh, my God.
01:40Is everything okay?
01:41Yes, I'm just going to test your reflexes.
01:44They're spoons, aren't they?
01:46Yes.
01:46Don't you normally use a little hammer or something to test reflexes?
01:50Mr Jones, I'm the doctor here.
01:52I think I know what I'm doing.
02:00Hmmmm.
02:02Hmmmm.
02:04Hmmmm.
02:06Hmmmm.
02:06If you knew, should they
02:08I know what I'm doing.
02:09Oh, my God.
02:12Oh, my God.
02:13Oh, my God.
02:15Oh, my God.
02:16Oh, my God.
02:25Oh, my God.
02:34Oh, my God.
02:36Wow.
02:38Oh, my God.
02:41Uh, is it going to hurt?
02:47Not if I warm them up.
02:59Cara and Tamara O'Hara are twin sisters.
03:02They are already well known to TV viewers
03:06for their abortive attempt to become world famous tap dancers.
03:10Oh, well, we were raised by a very strict order of nuns
03:12and they said whenever we had impure thoughts
03:15that we had to do something physical.
03:16But the only physical thing we could think of was tap dancing.
03:20How's it going?
03:21Oh, Tamara.
03:24Oh, Cara.
03:31But Cara and Tamara have since developed a new passion.
03:38To become champions on Wheel of Fortune.
03:41We're hoping to go on the show next week.
03:43We're so excited.
03:45We've even erected a shrine to Rob Elliot.
03:51Rob Elliot, we give thanks to thee
03:53for your nightly program on TV.
03:57You're just as good as baby John
03:59and you'd look nice with nothing on.
04:04Hot.
04:06Hot, Mara.
04:08Oh, my God.
04:14Tamara, hurry up.
04:16Ads are finished.
04:17I'm coming, I'm coming.
04:22Oh, it's a hard one.
04:24I know what it is.
04:25What?
04:26Stupid as a mole.
04:27Yeah.
04:28Oh, no, that's not good.
04:30Slack as a mole.
04:32Oh, that's too rude.
04:34Oh, he's handsome, isn't he?
04:36Almost as handsome as Rob.
04:43Choose a wha!
04:44Wha!
04:45A bee for Bob.
04:46Oh, you...
04:47Yeah!
04:48I knew there was a bee in it.
04:50Oh, I know what it is, I know what it is.
04:52Stillborn.
04:53That is what it is.
04:54Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know.
04:55It's silly as a wheel.
04:57Yeah, I got it.
04:57As stubborn as a mule.
04:59Yes!
05:00You were really close, Cara.
05:02Well done, though.
05:03Thanks, Tamara.
05:04Could you pass the chips, please?
05:05Yes, Cara.
05:10As the big day approaches,
05:12Cara and Tamara
05:13go to extraordinary lengths
05:14to recreate the conditions
05:16of Wheel of Fortune
05:17in their own home.
05:19As for spoon, thanks.
05:21Thanks.
05:24Thanks.
05:29Can you guess the phrase, Tamara?
05:32I think I might have to buy a vowel.
05:38Cara O'Hara speaking.
05:40Yes?
05:42Oh, what a shame.
05:44All right, thank you.
05:45Bye-bye.
05:47That was the producers
05:48of Wheel of Fortune.
05:49We can't be considered
05:50for contestants on the show.
05:52Wheel of Fortune has been cancelled
05:53because Rob Elliott is still missing.
05:56Well, I've got no choice, then.
06:01We're going to have to
06:02let you go now, Rob.
06:04If you love something,
06:05set it free.
06:07There we go.
06:08Bye-bye.
06:09Bye.
06:10Thanks for coming.
06:11Good having you.
06:14Put a good word in for us.
06:16I'm Tamara.
06:16She's a Cara.
06:27On behalf of all of us here
06:29at Foreign Correspondent,
06:30I'd like to welcome
06:31our new reporter,
06:32David Smithson.
06:34Dave-o's just fresh out of uni
06:35and we've sent him off
06:36on his first big overseas assignment.
06:38Next week,
06:39David will be reporting
06:40from war-torn East Timor,
06:42Zaire,
06:43Belfast
06:43and the Gaza Strip.
06:45And that'll teach you
06:46for slagging off my moustache
06:47in the lunchroom.
06:49All the best, smart-ass.
06:53From Sydney,
06:54the ABC's late line.
06:56Here's Maxine McHugh.
06:58Good evening.
07:00With the massive groundswell
07:01of support in the bush
07:02for Pauline Hanson's
07:03One Nation Party,
07:05the National Party
07:06seems to be in serious trouble.
07:08Joining me tonight
07:09is National Leader
07:10Tim Fisher
07:10and outspoken
07:12Queensland backbencher
07:13Bob Catter.
07:14Good evening, gentlemen.
07:15Good evening, Maxine.
07:18So, gentlemen,
07:19is there disharmony
07:20in the National Party?
07:21Not at all, Maxine.
07:22No, no,
07:23we're all one
07:23big happy family.
07:27What about the WIC issue?
07:28Are you united on that?
07:30Absolutely.
07:31But, Mr Fisher,
07:32you've stated
07:33that you would back
07:34the Prime Minister's
07:34ten-point plan on WIC.
07:36That's correct.
07:37And, Mr Catter,
07:38you've indicated
07:39that anything
07:39but complete extinguishment
07:41of native title
07:41is unacceptable.
07:43In a nutshell, yes.
07:44So, with conflicting views
07:46like that,
07:47do you feel safe
07:48as leader, Mr Fisher?
07:49Absolutely, Maxine.
07:51I have the complete
07:52confidence
07:53of my colleagues
07:54and I can say
07:55for certain
07:56that they're all
07:57100% behind me.
07:59What are you doing, Bob?
08:02Uh...
08:02Hmm?
08:04Ooh...
08:06Victory!
08:09Victory!
08:11Wealty amongst
08:12the Nationals.
08:13I'm the Nationals.
08:13Hey, Tim.
08:15Victory, Mike.
08:18So, if there was
08:19a leadership challenge
08:20tomorrow,
08:21would Tim Fisher
08:21have your support?
08:22Uh, without question, Maxine.
08:24Sure, he's got his faults.
08:25He's toadie to John Howard.
08:27He's a traitor
08:28to the man on the land.
08:29He's spineless,
08:30has no leadership skills
08:31and he's got a big nose.
08:34You have?
08:35He's got a huge
08:36hooter on him, Maxine.
08:36Look at it.
08:37Uh, I know you are,
08:38but what am I?
08:40Well, you're a...
08:44Mr Fisher,
08:46do you take heed
08:46of your backbench's concerns?
08:49Of course I do.
08:50Even when they're
08:50ill-considered
08:51and come out
08:52of the mouth
08:52of mentally deficient
08:53albino rednecks.
08:56At least I've got
08:57some hair.
08:59At least I'm not a moron.
09:01I know you are,
09:02but what am I?
09:04So how do you prevent
09:05your personal differences
09:06from affecting party unity?
09:08We've got no
09:09personal differences, Maxine.
09:11We're actually
09:11quite good friends.
09:12That's right.
09:13We're good friends,
09:14aren't we, mate?
09:16Mate.
09:18Mate.
09:22Mate.
09:23Mate.
09:33You got in trouble.
09:37You started it.
09:38You started it.
09:38He started it, Maxine.
09:39Did not.
09:40You want to make
09:40something of it?
09:42Maybe.
09:44Well, why don't you
09:45cross this line, then?
09:48All right.
09:50Well, cross this line, then.
09:54Well, there you have it.
09:55Once again,
09:56Bobcat are moving
09:57Tim Fisher
09:58further and further
09:59to the right.
10:00Let me see if you
10:01are shaking on me.
10:03He's coming, baby.
10:04He's shaking.
10:05He's coming.
10:06He's coming.
10:07He's coming.
10:07He's coming.
10:08He's coming.
10:12Hey, looking for a present
10:14for a real fitness fanatic?
10:15A real three hours a day
10:17work it, work it,
10:18Nazi hard body type?
10:20Then you need
10:21the Humiliator 2000.
10:23The Humiliator 2000.
10:25It's cheap,
10:25it's easy,
10:26and it makes you
10:27look completely ridiculous.
10:29Best of all,
10:30it has no physical benefit
10:31whatsoever.
10:32In fact,
10:33it'll do permanent
10:34spinal damage
10:34while making you
10:35look like a complete dick.
10:37The Humiliator 2000
10:38can be used anywhere,
10:40walking down the street
10:43or at the office.
10:48The Humiliator 2000,
10:51great for workout classes
10:52as it's completely unsafe.
10:56The Humiliator 2000,
10:58from the people
10:58who brought you
10:59the goatee,
11:00lime green,
11:01Susie Elliman's
11:02logey dresses,
11:03bubble skirts,
11:04Canberra,
11:05the Atlanta Olympics
11:06closing ceremony,
11:07ponytails on men,
11:09the thong bikini,
11:10Denny Minogue's tits,
11:11and other great disasters.
11:13applause
11:27Hi, we're Human Nature,
11:28I'm Michael.
11:29I'm Toby.
11:30I'm Phil.
11:31And I'm
11:33Andrew.
11:35Andrew.
11:44Yeah,
11:45and you're watching
11:46video.
11:47and you're watching.
11:57Yes.
12:10Why spend the fortune on sleeping remedies when you are tossing and turning?
12:24Chuck at you, my gears, you'll be all as well, cause you will soon be returning.
12:36Don't sleep, that's deep as hell.
12:40For an anesthetic so cheap that could put an elephant to sleep.
12:49Baby, you should listen to us sing, draining the life from everything.
12:57When we are through, don't be surprised if you're completely tranquilized.
13:07Sleeping peacefully, without new CDs.
13:12Is it something without hair? Is it the dreary clothes we wear?
13:21Even when we bear our perfect bonds, people still declare we're boring sons.
13:30Listen to our plea of humanity.
13:35By our news...
13:44See...
14:06And welcome back.
14:08Time now to check on your calls.
14:10So, let's join our panel over in the crime telephone phone room.
14:18Starting from the left, we have Toadie from Neighbours.
14:23Gina Boo, Channel 9 News Freedom.
14:26And Sean McAuliffe from Fast Forward.
14:30Now, police search and rescue...
14:33It's a full frontal, Roger.
14:34Yeah, same thing.
14:36Now, police search and rescue is the most important part of the job.
14:40But it's not without its lighter side.
14:42Here now, to tell us of the more amusing places they've discovered dead bodies,
14:46is Chief Inspector...
14:47No?
14:48No, I understand we're crossing back to Toadie, who has a new total.
14:53Yeah, Roger, our new 8 o'clock total shows we've received calls from 677,000 viewers on thefts, assaults and
15:02acts of gross indecency.
15:07That is a magnificent effort to Australia.
15:09Yeah, yeah.
15:11Keep those calls coming in, keep that information rolling in.
15:15You know, no matter how much information, how little information you have.
15:18You know, dig deep and, you know, see what you can make up.
15:22Gina.
15:23Thanks, Toadie.
15:24Where are...
15:25Oh, right.
15:26Uh, from A. Vanston of Canberra, the names of a couple of dope-smoking students.
15:31Thanks for that.
15:32I understand that Richie now has a couple of calls for us.
15:37Yes, sir.
15:37Thanks, Roger.
15:38Now, Mrs. Jean Croup of, uh...
15:43How do you say that?
15:46Perth.
15:50Perth.
15:51A call to say that she'll give us information about who started the Margaret River bushfires last year,
15:57if her name isn't read out.
16:05And, uh, finally, Mrs. H. Smith of Mount Isa says she'll tell us who murdered Gary Jamison eight years ago.
16:14How do you say that?
16:18If...
16:21If...
16:21If Roger Clemson does the Macarena.
16:25All right, Claire.
16:26Might leave that to you young'uns. Thank you very much.
16:28Roger and Rog.
16:29Yes, come on, Roger.
16:30We'll give you the Saturday Night Tats Lotto drawl.
16:32Roger.
16:32Sure.
16:39That's fine.
16:40Oh, Linda.
16:45Linda?
16:46Cut it out.
16:47What?
16:52Okay.
16:53Hey, Linda.
16:54Oh, Linda?
16:58Linda?
16:59Cut it out.
17:02Linda, cut it out.
17:02Take who? Where?
17:04You're giving supermodels a bad name.
17:07I thought mommies and daddies gave bad names.
17:09Like I had this friend Una, like I couldn't believe that.
17:12What kind of a name is that?
17:13New stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.
17:16You eat it. Don't stick it in your ear.
17:19Oh, now you tell me.
17:26Gavin, I think my husband's getting suspicious.
17:30Why?
17:31Well, it's taken you three months to fix the telly.
17:35Well, these vertical hold knobs could be a bit tricky.
17:41Oh, my God. Dennis is home.
17:42Look, you've got to hide.
17:43But I'm here to fix the telly.
17:45It's one in the morning. Hide.
17:50Hi, darling.
17:51Hi, sweetheart.
17:52How was the pub?
17:52Oh, all right.
17:53Did you win the trivia night?
17:55No, no, no.
17:57You're already tired. I think you should go to bed.
17:59Oh, that's just where I might sit up for a bit, you know,
18:01and get a couple of times.
18:03Watch some telly, you know.
18:07Oi.
18:12That TV repairman's been back here again, hasn't he?
18:14I can explain everything.
18:16Because he's fixed the thing at last.
18:18Dear beauty.
18:19I wish there was some sound happening here.
18:20Where's that bloody remainder?
18:26Sweetheart, you see them as spectacles?
18:27Oh, look, I'll find them later.
18:29Right.
18:31Okay.
18:32Two large watermelons.
18:34A spokesperson of the industry spoke on the matter
18:37and reiterated his stats on the matter
18:39and promised to fulfil his promises.
18:43To finance news now, the Dow Jones was up.
18:47The Hang Sen wasn't.
18:48Oh, bloody finance news.
18:49Is that Milroy's tape still on the machine?
18:51Oh, I don't know.
18:54Oh, bloody beauty it is.
19:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:05Sydney, we need to talk.
19:07Jake, what are you doing in my bedroom?
19:10Sydney, I want you.
19:12Oh, but you're engaged to Alison.
19:14I know, I don't care.
19:15But why?
19:16Let's get it on.
19:17Okay, yeah.
19:20They died?
19:20Oh, I told you you were wrong
19:22and you guys two would get together.
19:26Matt, could you come here for a second, please?
19:30Sure, Billy.
19:30What seems to be the problem?
19:32It's about these.
19:33Oh, geez, I hate Matt Stewart's.
19:35I'm going to skip through this.
19:51Amanda, there's something I'm going to be wanting to tell you.
19:54I'm your daughter.
19:55You are?
19:56Yes.
19:57What was that?
20:00I'm your daughter.
20:01You are?
20:01Yes.
20:02But they're the same age.
20:05I'm your cousin.
20:07You are?
20:08Yes.
20:08You are?
20:09Oh, Christ, I can't follow this.
20:11I'm going to bed.
20:12Good night, sweetheart.
20:13I'll be up in a minute.
20:14Try that.
20:22That was close.
20:24Now, where were we?
20:25I'll just put the stereo on.
20:27Sure.
20:29Here we are.
20:31Oh, you got your stereo fixed at last.
20:34Yes, I do.
21:24Well, good evening.
21:25This is Australian National Nightly Network News.
21:27Buggered if I'm not Ian Goodings.
21:30And to head into tonight's news,
21:32police search for witnesses to SBS television
21:35gardeners at Melbourne's floral clock
21:37dig up all the plants
21:38and move them back one position
21:39for the end of daylight saving.
21:42And investigators conclude human error
21:44is to blame for Gina Boone's hairstyle.
21:47Good folks, the news.
21:49Well, Australian publishing circles
21:51were rocked again today
21:52by revelations of another literary hoax
21:54when Australian author Dorothy Hewitt
21:56admitted that she had written
21:58all the Chopper Read books.
22:01Scientists say they now have proof
22:03that astral travel is possible
22:04after discovering that Senator Mal Colston
22:07has made a claim for it.
22:09To overseas news now,
22:11and a bloody battle today
22:12in shagging Ecuador
22:13was a f***ing ripper.
22:17Well, it took 250 dozen eggs,
22:20125 kilos of flour,
22:222,000 litres of milk,
22:241,000 kilos of raw sugar,
22:26700 blocks of chocolate
22:27and 2,400 kilos of whipped cream.
22:30But finally, kitchen staff
22:31at Parliament House
22:32managed to make Mal Colston's breakfast.
22:37Well, Felicity Kennett's got one
22:39and so has John Farnham.
22:41No, it's not a dickhead husband.
22:44Because only one of them
22:45has one of those, isn't it?
22:47No, what I'm referring to
22:48is a free brand new BMW
22:50as part of a new promotion
22:51for the prestige car.
22:53But has BMW really chosen
22:55the most credible,
22:56high-profile Australians?
22:58And is the new BMW
22:59all that good anyway?
23:04Yes, they have
23:05and I'm sure it's a pearler.
23:07Well, a Melbourne medical research team
23:10has come up with a cure for ecstasy.
23:12It requires licking Geoff Kennett's hair.
23:18Well, it was only weeks ago
23:20that archaeologists in Cheddar, England
23:22discovered a 9,000-year-old skeleton,
23:24the oldest ever found in Britain.
23:26And even more extraordinary
23:28was the discovery through DNA matching
23:29that a man living in the vicinity
23:31was related to the so-called Cheddar Man.
23:34That man joins me now.
23:36Mr Target, welcome.
23:37Ian.
23:38So Targety,
23:39what's been the reaction amongst your family
23:41to the sensational discovery
23:43of this ancient relative?
23:44Well, Ian,
23:45it's been a very distressing period.
23:47I mean, obviously, Cheddar Man has been missing
23:50for some time now.
23:51But, you know,
23:53we never gave up.
23:54We never gave up hope
23:55that he might be all right.
23:57You know, he might...
23:58He might just have gone off on his own
24:00for a little while.
24:02Yes, yes.
24:039,000 years does seem a long time, though,
24:05doesn't it?
24:06Well, you're telling me, Ian.
24:07Yes, it does.
24:08You know,
24:08it's not knowing whether he's dead or alive.
24:11That's what really tears you apart.
24:13Right.
24:14So do police think there are any suspicious circumstances
24:16surrounding the death of your skeleton relative?
24:20Well, Ian,
24:22he was found with a spear in his hand.
24:25I think someone was trying to make it look like suicide.
24:29But, Cheddar,
24:30he never had a spear.
24:32He didn't even like spears, Ian.
24:36We've kept his cave just like it was
24:38when he disappeared.
24:41Right.
24:41Yes, I understand that.
24:43That's very sad.
24:44And perhaps you should give up eating tuna.
24:49Well, that's how we saw the world today.
24:52Violent, bloody,
24:52and a bit sexy.
24:54You may have seen it differently,
24:55but you don't have to make a TV show out of it.
24:59But before we go,
25:00there was no pussyfooting around
25:01at Perth's U today
25:02when they took delivery of Clive,
25:05a new male cougar.
25:06While staff thought Clive was the cat's whiskers,
25:09Clive thought his new enclosure
25:10was less than perfect.
25:12But it wasn't long before Clive looked like
25:14the cat that ate the cream
25:15after biting an attendant's head off.
25:19Until tomorrow night,
25:20good night.
25:31Yes, go on, Denise.
25:34Well, I've always been interested in the dance
25:37and I've spent most of my life
25:39looking for someone to share that love.
25:43And I knew from the first time I saw Gerald
25:45that he was the only one for me.
25:48It was just something about him
25:50that stood out for my friend.
25:55And I knew from the moment I saw him
25:57that we were destined to marry.
26:13And we were very, very happy there for a while.
26:22Then she came along.
26:25I grew suspicious when I first saw her
26:28at Gerald's work.
26:32I don't know why.
26:33She just kind of stood out.
26:44And then my worst suspicions were realised
26:47when I saw the two of them
26:48having lunch together.
26:54That was the end for me.
26:56My whole life in one single moment
26:59just exploded.
27:07Bernice.
27:08Bernice.
27:11I know you've been to hell
27:12but you just have to believe
27:14that you will find someone else.
27:16Gerald is not the only man.
27:19But that's where you're wrong, Doc.
27:21He is.
27:23He is the only one.
27:25And now he's gone.
27:30He is the only one.
27:41He is the only one.
27:42He is the only one.
27:43He is the only one.
27:44He is the only one.
27:45He is the only one.
27:45He is the only one.
27:45He is the only one.
27:46He is the only one.
27:46He is the only one.
27:47He is the only one.
27:48He is the only one.
27:48He is the only one.
27:54He is the only one.
28:09This week in your 1976 Woman's Day,
28:12our astrologer Richard Stirling tells us what to look forward to in 1977.
28:18The Bay City Rollers.
28:19Why Scotland's pop sensation is here to stay.
28:23Liz Taylor speaks out.
28:25I'll never marry again.
28:27Rock Hudson tells, I'm just crazy about women.
28:31And we unveil the car of tomorrow, the Leyland P76.
28:36All in your Woman's Day.
28:38Available now.
28:39Tattered, faded and 20 years old.
28:42In all good doctor's surgeries and dentist's waiting rooms.
28:45Everywhere.
28:57They're pulling the umpire's pants down, eh?
29:00But who can blame him for that?
29:01All right.
29:02Well, with Dipper still very stupid, we have documentary filmmaker and art critic Philip
29:07Quist down in the rooms now talking with one very disappointed losing skipper, John Bitmead.
29:14Who belongs in a home?
29:17John, leading by six goals at the start of Act 4, you lost by 19 points.
29:22What's your hypothesis?
29:23Oh, well, you know, we just ran out of legs, mate.
29:24We just stopped.
29:25You know, lost our big playmakers there early on.
29:27You know, you've got your Donaldsons, your McCanns, your Crofts.
29:31What, so you lost all six of them, did you?
29:34Or is it nine?
29:35I'm not too sure.
29:36How many were there?
29:37Just one of each.
29:39So just one Donaldsons then, was it?
29:43What do you think you can do to improve your game in the future?
29:47Well, I reckon we just, you know, we've just got to sit down and decide that we've all
29:51got to stand up and take responsibility.
29:53I see.
29:53So your plan is to sit down and then to stand up.
29:59Yeah.
29:59Yeah.
30:00Well, that should improve your game immeasurably.
30:02Now, your centre-half forward is Jason Voone.
30:05Oh, yeah, Vooney.
30:05Great player.
30:06Great player.
30:07Doesn't know the meaning of the word for you.
30:08I suggest that no one on your team could tell him, either.
30:11But his place was today taken by an understudy.
30:14Why didn't Vooney play?
30:16He had a groin.
30:20Excuse me?
30:23He had a groin.
30:24Oh, I see.
30:25I wasn't aware that having a groin and playing football were mutually exclusive.
30:28When did you have yours removed?
30:31Recently.
30:33He had a groin injury.
30:35Oh, I see.
30:36Excuse me.
30:36My mistake.
30:37I wasn't aware that I had to complete your sentences for you.
30:40So you're unable to finish off your opponents and you're unable to finish off your sentences.
30:44All right.
30:44I'll make a note of that in the future.
30:45Listen, smart-ass.
30:46We did our best, all right?
30:48We lost Vooney before the game.
30:49We lost our three best players in the first quarter with injuries.
30:51I came off injured in the last quarter.
30:54We didn't have anybody else on the bloody bench to bring on, all right?
30:56Why didn't you send out one of your extra Donaldsons?
31:00No.
31:01Well, there you have it there, Roscoe.
31:02John Bittman there, unable to speak English, unable to play football, but he earns five times as much as I
31:07do.
31:07Well, there you have it.
31:13I loved it.
31:14I thought it was dreadful, absolute rubbish.
31:17David, it was the most honest film I've seen all year.
31:20It was a beautiful story, sensitively told.
31:21It was an appalling cliché from beginning to end, and how you can sit there and sing its praises is
31:26quite frankly beyond me.
31:27It was superb.
31:28Vile.
31:29Magnificent.
31:30Egregious.
31:30The film of the year.
31:31The turkey of the decade.
31:32What film are we talking about again?
31:34No idea.
31:53Dolores, get me explosion.
31:55And quickly.
31:56Yes, Minister?
31:57Butoh, again?
31:59I'm afraid so.
32:00And no doubt, after some devilish plan, that's why I've called for explosion.
32:05Roger, explosion.
32:07Let me in, you goddamn sons of bitches, or I'll kill you all!
32:11Come.
32:17Ever been to Butoh's secret ice palace before explosion?
32:20No, I haven't had the pleasure, Minister, but I'm certainly looking forward to it.
32:25Remember Butoh's replicoid army?
32:29If you mean that flange of super robots that nearly took over the Earth, then yes, I remember
32:34them only too well.
32:36Tell me he hasn't rebuilt them.
32:37Tell me I don't have to live through that hell again.
32:40There'll be time for that later.
32:41The Admiral will fly you to these coordinates in his atomic plane.
32:47We won't let you down.
32:48And Godspeed to both of you.
32:55Before you go, explosion, take this flame-throwing biro.
32:59It may come in handy.
33:09Take care of explosion.
33:11Butoh's agents are everywhere.
33:15Why, thank you, Alfred.
33:19Don't drink it, Admiral.
33:20It's poison.
33:23Look, it's Butoh's helper.
33:28Watch out for that glacier.
33:30Then they turn the camera.
33:39Where?
33:40I...
33:41What?
33:43You...
33:44I...
33:46But...
33:47Oh...
33:48Explosion.
33:50So nice of you to visit me in my magical ice palace.
33:55You're just in time for my brain experiment.
34:00Where?
34:01Struggle all you will, my pretty.
34:03You cannot escape.
34:05You will be my prisoner forever.
34:07Your brain in a robotic version of Earth.
34:26You'll not thwart my plans a second time, Explosion.
34:29But that's my middle name.
34:45Oh, my God.
35:02It's melting!
35:21And the next thing I knew, I was on a plane bound for Australia.
35:25Roger also cured me of poisoning.
35:27That's nothing. He melted me to death.
35:30What explosion? You've done it again.
35:56Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a celebrity for a day?
36:00Well, stop wondering. It can all be yours in the Be A Celebrity For A Day contest.
36:06Experience the glamour, the power and the extreme wealth of being a celebrity for a day.
36:10Live in a fantastic Hollywood-style mansion with over 15 toilets.
36:15Marry a really beautiful woman.
36:17And hire your own Italian personal trainer to get in shape.
36:22Then watch him run off with your wife and have sex in your jacuzzi.
36:26While you develop an alcohol problem.
36:30And a mad stalker develops an unhealthy fixation on you.
36:35While members of the press follow your every move just to get an embarrassing photo of you in the nutty.
36:42Which will then be published along with astonishing lies in horrible women's magazines.
36:48Be a celebrity for a day.
36:50And be a better person for it.
36:54Just ask Kate Fisher, Darren Hinch, Danny Monade, Carrie Packer, Spice Girls, Albie Mabel, Princess Mabel.
37:05Where's breakfast?
37:08Oh, uh, I'm going to the shop. You want anything?
37:11Something with fibre.
37:13Something with fruit and nuts.
37:15And something low in fads.
37:19Something with humming.
37:23And get a new haircut.
37:26Oh, and try to shower a bit more often.
37:29Stop looking at me funny, you perff.
37:31And don't spend all day moping about the house because you haven't got a job and your girlfriend left you.
37:36I stopped borrowing my underpants.
37:38And mine.
37:40Now, you flatmates, just leave.
37:43And I slammed the bloody door.
37:57Hi, and welcome to Foreign Correspondent.
37:59And the news that I can't be stuffed going anywhere tonight.
38:04Go on. Go on, watch something else.
38:09Rack off.
38:13Rack off.
38:19Rack off.
38:29Rack off.
38:32Rack off.
38:34Rack off.
38:35Rack off.
38:36Rack off.
38:37Rack off.
38:37Rack off.
38:38Rack off.
38:38Rack off.
38:38Rack off.
38:40Rack off.
38:41Rack off.
38:41Rack off.
38:42Rack off.
38:42Rack off.
38:42Rack off.
38:43Good evening.
38:46The work of Australian film comedian Roy Wallace
38:50has been ignored for the last 70 years,
38:53and not without good reason.
38:55His films have not been seen since they were first bought back
38:59from the chemists in 1921.
39:02Denied a cinema release of any kind,
39:05Roy's career slowed to a halt only a week after it began,
39:10and he died tragically only five decades later
39:14at the age of 107.
39:18The rich legacy he leaves the Australian film community
39:22is typified by this classic 90-second fragment
39:26from the superb and indeed only comedy one realer
39:30entitled The Drunk.
39:32Enjoy!
39:46The Drunk.
40:13Bravo, Roy!
40:15Such brilliant comedy and such pathos.
40:18But that is not the least of Roy's work.
40:22That can be seen in this mercifully short 20-second fragment
40:25from his comedy feature The Rink,
40:28where Wallace's superb pantomime skills and body control
40:32are seen to full effect.
40:34Enjoy!
40:35Enjoy!
40:44So that's the end of the movie show for this week.
40:47I'm sorry we couldn't bring in the Brad Pitt interview
40:49owing to a satellite failure,
40:50but we wouldn't have had time for it anyway.
40:52No, we're completely out of time.
40:54Not a minute left, so good night,
40:56and do join us again next week.
40:57And I hope you get to catch some of those wonderful movies
41:00we've been talking about.
41:01That's all we have time for tonight.
41:03So, good night.
41:04Sleep well.
41:05Cheerio.
41:05Nighty-night sleep tight.
41:06Don't let the bedbugs bite.
41:08And remember, there's no business like show business.
41:10That's entertainment.
41:12Hooray for Hollywood.
41:13Keep your nose clean.
41:14Keep your pecker up.
41:15Don't go changing.
41:16Missing you already.
41:17Au revoir.
41:18Adieu, adieu.
41:21Do you think they realised we were padding it out a bit?
41:30Never.
41:30No, those people think Schwarzenegger can help.
41:32No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:37No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:42No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:43No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:47No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:50No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:50No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:50No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:51No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:53No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:56No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
41:57No, those people think they'll be padding it out a bit.
42:01Oh, my God.
42:32Mmm.
42:34Mmm.
42:36If you knew so then, I'd love you.
42:40Oh, what a girl.
42:41Now it's all my thing.
42:43Oh, my God.
42:52Mmm.
42:55Mmm.
42:57Mmm.
42:59Mmm.
42:59Mmm.
43:00Mmm.
43:00Mmm.
43:07Mmm.
43:09Mmm.
43:11Mmm.
43:11Mmm.
43:11If you knew so then, I'd love you.
43:14Mmm.
43:20Mmm.
43:22Mmm.
43:23Mmm.
43:23Mmm.
43:23Oh, so dear, I know.
Comments