- 1 day ago
First broadcast 16th October 1971.
Quirky unorthodox and hippy-like teacher David Ffitchett-Brown is a big hit with the class and a bit of an enigma to the other teachers.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Richard Warwick - David Ffitchett-Brown
Glynn Edwards - Mr. Dix
Brinsley Forde - Herman
Ian Lane - Podge
Linda Jolliff - Elizabeth
Zena Clifton - Jackie
Tina Heath - Pupil
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
Victoria Williams - Pupil
Quirky unorthodox and hippy-like teacher David Ffitchett-Brown is a big hit with the class and a bit of an enigma to the other teachers.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Richard Warwick - David Ffitchett-Brown
Glynn Edwards - Mr. Dix
Brinsley Forde - Herman
Ian Lane - Podge
Linda Jolliff - Elizabeth
Zena Clifton - Jackie
Tina Heath - Pupil
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
Victoria Williams - Pupil
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:23The Lone Ranger
00:46My apparatus is only to be used under supervision.
00:49Well, go on, then supervisors.
00:51Don't think I couldn't, Harvan.
00:53I've eaten high jumps for breakfast.
00:55Blimey!
00:56Bet them poles don't have to stick in your throat.
00:59It would take someone with a jerry name to say a thing like that, wouldn't it?
01:02Eh?
01:03I was being allergic, wasn't I?
01:04Oh, yes.
01:05Army champion I was, right?
01:07Oh, yes, I was.
01:08Seven foot six.
01:09Oh!
01:11The world I jump record ain't even that.
01:14Isn't it?
01:15No.
01:16Well, I mean, they did a long jump, I said.
01:18No.
01:20Even I could do that.
01:21A long jump, a seven foot six.
01:24You want to wash your ears out, sonny boy.
01:26Twenty-seven foot six, I said.
01:28No!
01:30Listen, all right, then, all right, listen, listen.
01:32You ring up the Houses of Parliament and ask to speak to Chris Chatterbox.
01:35Oh, for it was Chatterbox.
01:36Yeah.
01:37That's his married name.
01:39Listen, you ring him up and ask him, ask him, why he went into politics, and he will tell
01:43you, because Norman Esquith Potter embarrassed him on the running track.
01:47Oh, good idea.
01:49Come on, hey, wonder boy.
01:50Give us a demo.
01:51Yeah!
01:55Come on, hey, man.
01:56Come on.
01:57Whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:00Right, stupid boy.
02:02Down the bottom.
02:02Seven foot six.
02:03Seven foot six.
02:04Down the bottom, on.
02:05Huh.
02:05Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:14Oh, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
02:15No, it's the P.E. master's job, not mine.
02:18You're just afraid Dixie'll catch up.
02:20Listen, you little German sausage.
02:23He say that I am afraid of no one on two legs.
02:26Potter!
02:26Oh, sorry, yes.
02:27What are you hanging out here for?
02:28Well, I'm just fixing up your apparatus, Mr. Dixie.
02:30Are you done that?
02:31Some move!
02:32Yes.
02:35Mr. Dixie, there's one old sweat to another, sir.
02:38I think you ought to know that Herman, him, is probably of German extraction.
02:44Herman!
02:45Sir?
02:46Herman?
02:46Potter!
02:49There's one old sweat to another.
02:50Yes, sir, I...
02:51Let me tell you something.
02:52Yes, sir.
02:52You were a desert rat, weren't you?
02:54I was, sir.
02:54Then hop off!
02:58Patty!
02:59Were you laughing?
03:01No, sir.
03:02Boys called Podge shouldn't laugh at sir,
03:05because sir puts them on a little slimming course.
03:08And then we can all laugh, can't we?
03:10Well, I can't do, gentlemen, sir.
03:12Can't, can't, or won't, won't.
03:14Let me tell you this.
03:15By the time you've finished this lesson,
03:17you're going to make Twiggy look like Tessie O'Shea.
03:21I'm sorry, headmaster,
03:23but something has got to be done about that man.
03:25He's not only rude and insufferable,
03:27but a thoroughly bad teacher to boot.
03:29Very well, Doris.
03:30I shall be sorry to lose you, Pricey,
03:33but if your intercourse...
03:34If your intercourse with Miss Ewell
03:36has taken a turn for the worse...
03:38Not me, you great...
03:39Mr Price!
03:40Headmaster!
03:41Dix Gregory Isometric Dix!
03:43That's too loud, he may be outside.
03:45I don't...
03:45I don't care if he is.
03:48I tell you,
03:49he makes even me look like a young,
03:51clear-eyed idealist.
03:52And that takes some doing.
03:54Exactly.
03:55But Doris,
03:56surely we all ride to the summer land
03:58in our own vehicle?
03:59Perhaps we do,
04:00but Mr Dix should have his licence endorsed.
04:02Now, are you going to ask
04:04for his resignation or not?
04:06I am going to take counsel
04:08of an older spirit.
04:10Oh, dear,
04:10we're going into a bloody trance.
04:13Now, Smithy, old warrior,
04:14let's all hear from you.
04:16Oh!
04:17On a tree by a river,
04:19a little thong tit,
04:21saying willow,
04:22tit willow,
04:23tit willow.
04:24And I said to him,
04:26Dickie Bird,
04:26why do you sit
04:28singing willow,
04:29tit willow,
04:30tit willow.
04:31Be quiet!
04:32You sound like a trio of miners
04:33taking a shower bath.
04:35Oh, when were you last
04:36in a miner shower bath,
04:37do I?
04:37Yes.
04:38Mr Smith,
04:39we were talking about Mr Dix.
04:41Your opinion of him, please.
04:43Well,
04:43I have never in all my career
04:45spoken ill of a colleague.
04:47Not even ill,
04:48Grimsby,
04:49of that ridiculous balloon.
04:51But I consider Mr Dix
04:52to be nothing more
04:53than a boorish cad,
04:55a poser in a mountain bank
04:56of the first water.
04:57Don't beat about the bus,
04:58Smithy,
04:59say what you mean.
05:00If I were 30 years younger,
05:02I would already have invited
05:03Mr Dix to step into the gymnasium
05:05and put the gloves on.
05:06Hear, hear to that.
05:07But, as it happens,
05:09I am an elderly man
05:10and I must confess
05:11I'm somewhat frightened of him.
05:13Well, headmaster?
05:15I am going to say two words.
05:17Suet pudding.
05:19As it is Tuesday,
05:21suet pudding
05:21a la frontera
05:22is Mrs Gonzalez's
05:23sweet for the day.
05:24And as I munch through it,
05:25I am going to consider
05:26very carefully
05:27everything that you have
05:28all said to me
05:29and I may make a decision.
05:31How's that?
05:33Dix not out.
05:35Chah!
05:37Doris?
05:38Yes, headmaster?
05:39Just because I've disposed
05:41of one problem,
05:42it doesn't mean
05:42that I've finished work.
05:44Item two.
05:45Yes, headmaster.
05:46I shall come straight
05:47to the point.
05:49Doris,
05:49will you be my yum-yum?
05:51I beg your pardon?
05:53My Rotary Club production
05:55of the Mikado,
05:56Mrs Darling,
05:57is order combo
05:58with a cracked upper plate.
06:00So the whole cast
06:00is disintegrating.
06:02Morris,
06:02unless you play
06:03the Lord High Executioner
06:05as opposed to
06:05the wandering minstrel,
06:06you'll find your staff
06:08disintegrating.
06:09Tish, tush,
06:10acid drop.
06:11Are you forgetting,
06:12Doris,
06:12that I have a new man
06:13starting this very morning?
06:15Oh, yes,
06:15Mr Fitchett Brown.
06:16I don't feel exactly
06:17sanguine about him.
06:18He comes with very high
06:19recommendations from his school.
06:21But what sort of school?
06:22One of those
06:23do-as-you-like establishments.
06:24And of course,
06:25you can miss English
06:25to have the baby.
06:27Doris!
06:29Dirty,
06:30dirty Doris.
06:31Not dirty,
06:33just desperate.
06:41Ruby!
06:42Ruby,
06:43look how dolly
06:43before I love.
06:44Don't walk past the window
06:45when you've had a bath.
06:47That's not funny,
06:48that.
06:48That's just vulgar.
06:57Hey!
06:58Wait!
07:00Wait a minute,
07:00where are you going?
07:01Hey,
07:01oi,
07:01hurry up!
07:03Stop,
07:04stop,
07:04stop!
07:06All right,
07:06all right?
07:07What's the game?
07:11Sorry,
07:12old chap,
07:12anyone to park inside,
07:13is there?
07:13Good.
07:14You don't set foot
07:15in my playground
07:16and hide in...
07:17He has.
07:19He bloody has.
07:25Here!
07:26Here!
07:27Here!
07:27You drove past me?
07:29Now listen,
07:30you're not using my playground
07:31for pornographic purposes.
07:33Of course not.
07:34How do you do?
07:35Richard Brown,
07:36David.
07:37Well,
07:37you can't be.
07:38He's supposed to be a teacher.
07:40Incredible,
07:41isn't it?
07:41Same name,
07:42and I'm a teacher as well.
07:43I'm sorry,
07:44this is Jack.
07:46Jack?
07:48Hi!
07:49Hi!
07:50No,
07:50hello.
07:51Well,
07:52you see,
07:52so,
07:52I mean,
07:53you drove,
07:54uh,
07:54past,
07:55you,
07:55uh,
07:57when you,
07:58you,
07:58the car,
08:00it came in my,
08:01well,
08:02I'm saying,
08:02I'm saying,
08:03I can see you're a leg man too.
08:05Oh,
08:06I do beg your pardon,
08:09miss.
08:10Please,
08:10don't think that I was looking at your,
08:12uh,
08:13lower appendages.
08:14Why ever not?
08:16They're my best feature.
08:19Are you sure their name's Jack?
08:22I'll say,
08:23will you give me a habit of my gear?
08:24Yes.
08:24Uh,
08:25wait a minute,
08:25no,
08:25I'm not touching any of your,
08:26thank you.
08:29By the right.
08:33Norman Eskipotasar,
08:34Lance Corporal Retire,
08:35Oh,
08:35but you didn't say so,
08:37you see,
08:37I mean,
08:37I didn't know,
08:38sir.
08:38You,
08:39you're not an officer,
08:39sir.
08:40Oh,
08:40I was.
08:41They wouldn't have me in the ranks.
08:42Eh?
08:42Oh,
08:42yes,
08:43allow me,
08:43sir.
08:43Yes,
08:44thank you,
08:44sir.
08:44Thank you very much,
08:45sir.
08:45Yes,
08:45I command,
08:45yes,
08:46yes.
08:46Thank you,
08:46sir.
08:47I say,
08:47you didn't by any chance go over there,
08:51did you?
08:51Well,
08:52I did a tour of Aiden.
08:54Any good?
08:55Any good,
08:56lad?
08:56You've got sand in your socks.
08:58Yes,
08:58I'm not my exhaust.
08:59Well,
09:00this is lovely,
09:00but I'd better be bearding some lions.
09:02Thank you,
09:02yes.
09:03We were over at Bisley last night and got held up.
09:05Well,
09:05hung over,
09:06actually.
09:07And,
09:08you won,
09:09sir,
09:09eh?
09:10You won?
09:11About nearly.
09:12I came 105th.
09:14105th,
09:15sir?
09:16That's fantastic,
09:16that's all.
09:17Right.
09:18Ready to march off,
09:19sir.
09:19Goodbye,
09:19Jack.
09:20Oh,
09:21pardon me,
09:21madam.
09:23The office's lady.
09:27Look,
09:28sir,
09:28I'll tell you what I'll do.
09:28I'll just turn my back for a moment,
09:30and then you can,
09:30well,
09:31you know,
09:31so you can do your goodbye business.
09:33Bye.
09:36Goodbye,
09:37business.
09:37Right,
09:38no,
09:38let's have a note.
09:39Right,
09:40on.
09:40Follow me,
09:40please.
09:41Stop.
09:41No,
09:42no,
09:43Hello there.
09:44Ready?
09:46Hey,
09:47hey,
09:48hey.
09:57Come on,
09:58you big fat girl.
10:00I'll take a fart,
10:00Bethel.
10:01Is that what your mother is trying to turn you into?
10:03What?
10:03What?
10:05What is that?
10:06Mr. Dix.
10:08Another rank, sir.
10:09Hmm, rank's the word.
10:11Mr. Dix.
10:12Why, Stanley, do you?
10:15Yeah?
10:16Look, the kids are doing his best.
10:18There's no need to work him that hard, is there?
10:19Who the devil are you?
10:20Fitchett Brown, new master.
10:22Well, Mr. Fitchett Brown, I suggest you get some time in
10:25before you come round here in your hippie beads
10:27sticking your nose into my business.
10:29Mental note, do not stick nose into Mr. Dix's business
10:32while wearing hippie beads.
10:34I'll tell you what, I'll wear my pearls next time.
10:42After double, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your
10:44pound?
10:45Pound!
10:49Oh, I'm sorry, Doris.
10:52I was daydreaming that was Dix
10:54and I was die-bombing him in the palm.
10:56That would get rid of him.
10:58I doubt it. The man seems fireproof.
11:01Look, Doris,
11:02I hesitate to suggest this.
11:04But shouldn't we use the ultimate weapon?
11:07What?
11:08You.
11:10The headmaster is the ultimate weapon.
11:12Oh.
11:13We all saw this morning what he intends to do.
11:15Eat suet pudding.
11:16Then we must band together, bypass the headmaster
11:19and march on County Hall.
11:21The trouble is, we all know that Mr. Dix is a bad teacher,
11:24but until we can prove it, we're stuck with the man.
11:26Ah, there's the rub.
11:28Will you stop doing that?
11:29Oh, sorry, Doris.
11:30No, the man cannot be brought down by technicality.
11:34His defeat must be a personal one.
11:36But who is ever going to play David to his Goliath?
11:42Mr. Dermond, fidget bra.
11:50Thank you, Norman.
11:53Ah, any splosh going?
11:58Do you see that?
11:59Aye.
12:00That is the mark of an officer, that is.
12:05Sorry.
12:12Well, Mr. Fitchett Brown.
12:14Just a minute, darling.
12:17There.
12:17That is for the kitty.
12:19Kitty, Mr. Fitchett Brown.
12:21David, what's your name?
12:22Miss Ewell.
12:24Miss what Ewell?
12:25Dulles.
12:26Hello, Dulles.
12:31Oh, I like you straight away, aye.
12:33It was something you said.
12:35Ah, Vorna Price.
12:37Oh, help yourself, Buck.
12:38Oh, would you like some?
12:39Oh, not for me, thanks.
12:39I was on black velvet last night.
12:41Mr.
12:42Oh, Doris.
12:43We do not drink during school hours.
12:45I'm not going to Doris.
12:46Through the eye of a needle this morning, I tell you.
12:49Osborne Smith.
12:50Hello, me old biscuit.
12:51Now, well, well, time's a-wasting.
12:54Where are they?
12:55Do they speak English, and, er, are they armed?
12:57Who?
12:58Who?
12:58My mob.
12:59Or do I see the beak first?
13:01Have you seen the-
13:01Ah, Dixie.
13:02Listen, I'll tell you what.
13:03Let's pretend we'd ever met, eh?
13:05Clean slate.
13:06My memory's too good for that, Harry.
13:07Please yourself.
13:08I'll tell you this.
13:09Have you ever come that Mother of Mercy stuff when I'm teaching again?
13:12You won't just look like a dropout.
13:13You'll be a dropout, because I shall do the dropping on you from a great height.
13:17I believe you.
13:18Good.
13:19Get yourself a balloon, then you'll certainly be able to, with all the hot air you expelled.
13:22Cheers.
13:24And David feared not Goliath, but stood before him, and made him look a bloody twerk.
14:03I'd laugh if that dick's died, if your enemy's given me lines.
14:08I'd do them in pen pods, or I'll get you this afternoon a pee.
14:12I'd run away.
14:14If I could run.
14:16Got a pen, Liz?
14:17All pens, don't they?
14:19He fired his dart out of his pen, and all his eye went...
14:23Ooh, it all exploded.
14:24I couldn't eat my strawberry ice cream, I just couldn't.
14:27He's hanging on this rope, you see, with his...
14:29Well, she was sweet. He shot her retirement or something like that.
14:33Anyway, slept with her in the end.
14:35Whoa!
14:36Because this bloke, who was against him,
14:38was at the top of the cliff, cutting the rope, with his scar all down his foot.
14:41Liz, have you got a pen?
14:43No!
14:45Well, Melissa's got a scar.
14:47Oh, fat it was.
14:48Ugh.
14:48So they don't notice if she brings her hair forward.
14:51Anyway, he's looked up, and he's come out with shut out, or something like that.
14:55He's dead dry all the time.
14:56And that's when he fired this dart out of his pen.
14:59Ooh, he must have died with an eye like that.
15:02Anyway!
15:03Oh!
15:04Oh, shut up!
15:06Shut up!
15:06You've never been like that.
15:09You make me suck.
15:11No, it was not.
15:12I suck.
15:22Heya!
15:22What you doing?
15:24That's a gun, that is.
15:25Yeah.
15:27I killed 25 kids with this at my last school.
15:29God!
15:30Yeah!
15:32All right, I didn't.
15:33But it kept you quiet, didn't it?
15:35Six wives of Henry VIII.
15:37Aye, I've got Jane in.
15:38Wrong!
15:39Er, and?
15:41It was a Spanish verb, but I can't remember her.
15:43Crutchley Crutchley.
15:48What's your name, Cheeky Face?
15:49Elizabeth Jane Toy.
15:51What's yours?
15:52David.
15:52Hello, David.
15:53Hello, David.
15:56Hello, Liz.
15:57Colours of the rainbow, quick.
15:58Oh, er, well, it's green and, er, red.
16:01No, don't tell me.
16:02Er, here, I've been caught on the up here, ain't I?
16:06What's your name?
16:08Er, Podge.
16:08Er, what's your name?
16:10Er, Kenny Bethel.
16:11Oh.
16:12Tell me, Kenny.
16:13You scared of Mr Dix?
16:15I wish he was dead.
16:16Yeah!
16:17Well, Catherine.
16:18Arrogance.
16:19That's it.
16:20Catherine Arrogance.
16:21Then there was, erm...
16:22Shut up!
16:23David's doing me.
16:24Yeah, well, it was bluey.
16:26No, orangey.
16:28Movey, that's it.
16:29Yeah, it was Movey.
16:30Well, erm, who's going to show me round school?
16:32What?
16:33Well, you've been here longer than I do.
16:34You know it better than I do.
16:35Come on.
16:37Jane Seymour, David.
16:39That's it.
16:45It's bad enough with Mr Dix, but now this new man, David.
16:48Mr Fitchett...
16:49You're out if you tread on the cracks, darling.
16:54What do you say?
16:56Mr Fitchett Brown.
16:57He seemed rather, well, eccentric, to say the least of it.
17:00Oh, surely not.
17:07The river phaser, deep and wide, watches its bank...
17:10Well, come on.
17:11The Pied Piper of Hamelin had rats who behaved like rats.
17:14Get them all.
17:15Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
17:17Living poetry.
17:18Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
17:19Wait till we do the charge of the Light Brigade.
17:20It'll be a laugh.
17:21Charge!
17:23Hey, Jane Seymour, David.
17:25That's the wife.
17:26Did you ever say, Indigo?
17:27Oh, this favourite is a real scream.
17:30It really is.
17:31Well, anyhow, the kiddies think he's a scream.
17:34That's what I'd like to do.
17:36Scream.
17:40Right.
17:41Thank you very much for the tour.
17:43Georgie.
17:43I saw you knock the top off one of Mr Pott's tomato plants.
17:46Buy a new one by tomorrow, or I'll shoot you.
17:49The last one, Herman, is Katherine Parr.
17:52Oh, yeah.
17:54Right.
17:54Off you go to P.E.
17:55Good room.
17:56See you, Dave.
17:58Good for Kenny.
17:59How is it a great way?
18:00Kenny, I want you.
18:02Your excuse, P.E., instead of which, you can tidy up these books for me.
18:05But, Dix, you'll give me a chance.
18:06Get me out of front.
18:07I might follow me if I don't go.
18:08Well, if you don't go, he won't be able to, will he?
18:10Ah.
18:11Here you are, Davey boy.
18:12Keys to the storeroom cupboard.
18:13Ah.
18:14Oh, and please, can I have another drink of your whisky after school?
18:17Ta and yes.
18:19Now, don't worry about Mr Dix.
18:20I am your form master now, and if I say your excuse, P.E., you can tidy up these books
18:24for me.
18:24You didn't strike me as the sort of bloke who had a death wish?
18:28Look, Dix may be able to knock a few pounds off the boy.
18:32He may also be able to sweat in an inferiority complex that'll last the rest of his life.
18:39And I'm not about to stand by and let it happen.
18:41Simple.
18:43Bloody hell.
18:46What are you going to do? Shoot them?
18:50Now, don't get flustered, sir.
18:52You may be only in the chorus this year, sir, but I think I can promise you, sir, that you
18:55will be the hit of the show.
18:57Thank you, Norman.
18:58Yes, sir.
18:59Now, are you ready?
18:59Ready, sir?
19:00Yes.
19:00All right.
19:01All right.
19:03Curtain out.
19:05Oh, yes, sir.
19:06Beautiful, sir.
19:07Now, would you picture the scene, sir?
19:09Now, the whole sanatorium falls quiet.
19:12The lights go down, and you're on, sir.
19:15Yes, you're on.
19:16Now, sir.
19:18If you want to know who we are, two, three, four, five, we are...
19:23We are...
19:25Prompt, Norman, prompt.
19:26Little Tom Tit-Tom.
19:28We are...
19:29Little Tom Tit-Tom.
19:30No, we're not, Norman.
19:32Again, sir.
19:33Again, sir.
19:33Again.
19:33If you want to know who we are, two, three, four, five, we are...
19:38We are?
19:39We are...
19:49Gentlemen of Japan.
19:51That's it.
19:51Well done, David.
19:53Well, I knew that you'd know, sir.
19:55Yes, we used to play that on the bagpipes in the Argyles.
20:00Headmaster.
20:00Headmaster, I wonder if you'd write me a little note.
20:03Well, that seems rather pointless as I'm standing here talking to you.
20:07Phase two.
20:07I wonder if you'd write a note for me, excusing Bethel P.
20:11Certainly, certainly.
20:12Splendid, splendid.
20:13Ideas, ideas.
20:14Thank you very much.
20:18If he ever gets to do Beethoven's Choral Symphony, Blanco up and go sick.
20:21Okay.
20:22Thank you very much, Headmaster.
20:24Oh, and if you want to borrow my bird's kimono, you're on.
20:29Your flies are undone.
20:34Headmaster!
20:36I want you to write me a note saying that Bethel has got to attend P, right?
20:40Certainly, certainly, my dear boy.
20:42Ideas, ideas.
20:44Bethel.
20:57I tell you, when he left the room, he was carrying a gun.
21:02Well, perhaps it was a visual aid.
21:04Eh?
21:04Or a method of getting rid of dicks which we never considered.
21:08Oh, my God!
21:10Oh, it's all right. It was only a car.
21:12I'd better have a drink of this terrible stuff.
21:14My nerves are shattered to pieces.
21:18Aw.
21:20That's right, Doris. Get it down, you.
21:22Put hairs on your chest that well.
21:25Mr Fitchett Brown.
21:26David.
21:27Oh, very well, David.
21:28Yes, Doris.
21:29When you substitute a rifle for a recorder, I must draw the line.
21:33It's all right, Doris. It's not loaded. It's served its purpose.
21:35Well, then you'd better get it loaded.
21:36He's only defying dicks over podgy Bethel, that's all.
21:39Oh, heavens.
21:40Kenny Bethel, if you don't mind.
21:41Eh?
21:42All right, Harry.
21:43I've marked a card. If you want to play games, I can play games as well.
21:46What do you fancy? Conkers?
21:49Do you know what this means?
21:50Peace in our time.
21:52This is a note from the headmaster saying that Bethel has got to attend P.E.
21:56Oh.
21:56And, er, this is a note from the headmaster saying that Bethel is excused P.E.
22:01Jimmy, old Cronwell, nil-nil.
22:04Look, Dixie, you know as well as I do, by sheer physical limitations,
22:07a fat boy can't do Jim as well as other boys.
22:10I'm not complaining about P.E.
22:12I'm just saying, Taylor, the exercise is to suit him.
22:15Don't bully him.
22:16Look, I'm running a P.E. class, not some puffy health club,
22:18and I do not need a freak like you to tell me how to do my job.
22:21Yes, you do.
22:22Because the way you're running it, Edith Evans will make a better gym teacher than you.
22:25Oh, that's it, Sonny.
22:26You've gone over the line there.
22:28You better start patching your handbag.
22:29Mr. Price, intervene.
22:30Not bloody likely.
22:32Well, you've got to move or am I going to...
22:34Go on, Edith Wright.
22:35I got past the talking stages.
22:36That's the way you want it.
22:38Only just remember, I've handled jocks twice your size in the Argyles.
22:41Well, are we teachers or bloody savages?
22:43Go on!
22:44Who are you standing up for, him or me?
22:46Him.
22:47Do you know what you've just done?
22:48You have just lost yourself a P.E. master.
22:51Here, I'm resigning.
22:52Put that in your pipes and smoke it.
22:53Get out!
22:54Get out!
22:54Get out!
23:03I won't be so scared in my life.
23:05Well, you frightened him.
23:07I was bluffing, darling.
23:09Last fight I won was at prep school with a gardener's daughter.
23:13I don't think she was really trying.
23:16David, I do not like long hair.
23:18I must be frank about that.
23:19But you have just demonstrated the sort of backbone that I had long feared dead in this little...
23:24little island of ours.
23:26Bravo!
23:27Bravo!
23:28What he said in Welsh.
23:30You really are the most extraordinary young man.
23:33You seem to bring unorthodoxy into every facet of your behaviour.
23:36But me?
23:37Unorthodox?
23:37What do you mean?
23:38We're ready, David.
23:39And don't forget you promised.
23:41We're dressing you up in the sheet.
23:44All right, Liz.
23:45See you in the playground.
23:46History.
23:47That's what I mean.
23:49I hate to sour your victory over Mr Dix.
23:52But I'm going to have to ask you, Mr Fidget Brown.
23:55David.
23:56Oh, David.
23:57In fact, I'm going to have to insist that you adapt your whole pattern of behaviour
24:01to the kind of school in which you are now teaching.
24:04Fed Street, as you will discover, does not lend itself to laissez-faire.
24:08You're right.
24:09And I'll do it for one very good reason.
24:12Which is?
24:13For you, Doris.
24:14I'll fancy you something rotten.
24:17You she-devil, you!
24:19Oh!
24:21Oh!
24:21Oh!
24:21Oh!
24:22Oh!
24:24Oh!
24:26Oh!
24:28Oh!
24:36Oh!
24:38Oh!
24:39Oh!
24:40Oh!
24:41Oh!
24:42Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:43Oh!
24:45Oh!
24:49Oh!
24:54Oh!
25:11There's no Megan.
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