- 2 days ago
First broadcast 23rd October 1971.
David Ffitchett-Brown presents a list of teaching aids he would like the headmaster to authorise for purchase, which he does, and Potter is despatched to purchase the required items.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Richard Warwick - David Ffitchett-Brown
Robin Askwith - Eddie
Charles Bolton - Gobber
Shirley Cheriton - Pat
Colin Pilditch - Boz Ibbotson
Colin Daniels - Slater
Denis Gilmore - Snatch
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
David Ffitchett-Brown presents a list of teaching aids he would like the headmaster to authorise for purchase, which he does, and Potter is despatched to purchase the required items.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Richard Warwick - David Ffitchett-Brown
Robin Askwith - Eddie
Charles Bolton - Gobber
Shirley Cheriton - Pat
Colin Pilditch - Boz Ibbotson
Colin Daniels - Slater
Denis Gilmore - Snatch
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:22The Lone Ranger
00:41If I could only just...
00:42No, no, no, I mustn't. It's becoming an obsession.
00:45Price says that if I keep on doing it, I shall go blind.
00:47Headmaster Price, he only said,
00:49if you carry on watching it going up and down, you may ruin your eyes.
00:52No, but I see his point.
00:53You know, at the slightest stress,
00:55and I get this irresistible urge to loop the loop.
00:58Oh! Oh! Oh!
01:00Oh! I'm sorry, Headmaster.
01:01Oh, no, control, control.
01:02Now, now, I'm sorry. Now, you were saying, David, you were saying...
01:06Yes, Headmaster, and we were discussing the possibility
01:07of my acquiring some new teaching aids.
01:09Ah, yes, well, I'm as progressive as the next man,
01:11but, oh, I say, these things cost money,
01:13and we've already got a television set.
01:15Yes, but it's been broken since the Derby.
01:17Ah, yes, poor Price. He was under great strain.
01:19He hates seeing horses being whipped.
01:21Yes, unbeaten.
01:22Still, I'm afraid we're going to do better with a television set
01:24that hasn't been attacked with nitric acid.
01:26But the expense, the expense.
01:28Yes. Well, shrewd buyer could pick up all these things for a few pounds.
01:32The only new items are the posters,
01:34and they're not very expensive.
01:35Let's have lots of new posters.
01:36What are you thinking of advertising?
01:38Nothing, Headmaster. They're purely decorative.
01:40Some have poems on.
01:42Oh, yes, I remember.
01:42We used to have them at school.
01:44Lovely, bright poems and a verse underneath.
01:47Yes.
01:47Oh, there was one horrid one, I remember.
01:49It was Incy Wincy Spider.
01:51Oh, I've hated spiders ever since.
01:53Ah, half of you over there, sir?
01:55No, no, no, no, Norman.
01:57I was just putting it away.
01:58Ah, now, now, sir, you can't fool me.
02:00I can spot an overarm flip, sir, my way.
02:02No, no, do not bully me.
02:04He's trying to kill me of this insidious habit.
02:06Yes, it's the old spot-check routine, sir.
02:08Have you tried the old bromide in his tea routine?
02:10Eh, well, I say, that's going a bit fast, isn't it?
02:13Well, I mean, it may have been all right for the lads in the trenches, you know,
02:15but not my Headmaster.
02:17Oh, no, no, he could stymie his aspirations.
02:20Insidious?
02:21Inspiration?
02:21Ah, but so, sir, it's still very strong stuff, you know.
02:24No, no, no, no.
02:24Now, listen, David.
02:26Norman Potter plus petty cash equals new aides for Fenstreet.
02:30Check, Headmaster.
02:32Norman, do you have any business acumen?
02:34Well, I'll have to look in my stock rooms.
02:37There he goes again.
02:38Isn't he sparkling this morning?
02:40Like a Blanco Diamond, Headmaster.
02:42Norman, Mr. Brown wants you to go out with some funds from Fenstreet
02:45and buy some new teaching aides.
02:47Oh, I see, sir.
02:48Yes, well, when it comes to business, sir, I can be a veritable typhoon.
02:51Well, I've made a list of a few items.
02:53Some of them may seem a little unusual,
02:54but I'm sure there's nothing you can't cope with, Norman.
02:56Don't you worry, sir.
02:58Oh, I can get anything exotic, sir.
02:59You know, coloured chalk, jumbo drawing pins.
03:02Yeah, crochet, blackboard, duster.
03:03Yes, well, I can see I'm in good hands.
03:05Headmaster, Norman.
03:07Salt.
03:12There.
03:13I never had a son, sir.
03:16Yes, well, I'm glad that somebody recognises my inane talent, sir.
03:20Now then, sir, let's see what he's got down here, sir.
03:22A tape recorder, yes, TV set.
03:24Yes.
03:25Posters with poems on, sir.
03:26Yes, you know, lovely pictures with verses underneath like, um,
03:30Incy Wincy Spider-Obson.
03:40That's 37 I've confiscated this week.
03:43Morris doesn't realise what he's started.
03:45If I see another yo-yo, I shall scream.
03:47I've been looking forward to this all morning.
03:50Oh.
03:50Oh, you can do better than that, Doris.
03:51You promised me a scream.
03:53You seem very tense, monsieur.
03:54You should get one of these.
03:55I've got 37, Mr. Smith.
03:58Ah, and a 50 and a half, though.
04:01Personally, I find it very therapeutic.
04:04I don't think I've quite got the hang of it yet.
04:07Ah, you're not tall enough for one of those yet, Smithy.
04:09Try sitting on Doris's shoulders.
04:11No, that's not the price.
04:13Try asking Mr. Fitchett Brown.
04:15I'm sure he'll have some interesting theories to propound.
04:17Oh, I've man and his yo-yo up and down the centuries.
04:20Ah, I think you're very rude to talk about him like that behind his back.
04:23That's something he'd never do.
04:25He has manners and very good breeding.
04:28Oh, well, perhaps we ought to put him out to stud, then.
04:30Put who out, stud?
04:31Hey, oh, nothing.
04:32Just me daydreaming again.
04:33What are you so cheerful about?
04:35Well, I've just had a chat with Cromwell and Potter.
04:37Oh, finally banded together to form a human being, are they?
04:40Oh, the headmaster's all right once you get past its fixations.
04:43I've never seen anyone so obsessed with yo-yos.
04:46Oh.
04:46Oh, these aren't right.
04:48Oh, yes.
04:48Just taking care of them for a friend, are you, Doris?
04:50I confiscated them, actually.
04:53Well, what sort of success did you have with the headmaster?
04:56Well, not bad.
04:57He's agreed to my having some new teaching aids.
04:59I've just sent Norman out to buy them.
05:02Oh, what's wrong?
05:03He seems to know what he's doing.
05:05Well, it's quite simple equipment.
05:06I'm sure he can't possibly make a, um, can he?
05:09I think you'd better find out for yourself.
05:12It's the only way to learn.
05:13Doris, not only are you beautiful, but a philosopher, too.
05:17Oh.
05:17There you are, Doris.
05:18I always said you look like Bertrand Russell.
05:22Now, on Pricey, I was marking your register this morning.
05:24There seemed to be a couple of absentees.
05:26Slater and Ibbotson.
05:28They ill or something?
05:29Oh, no, nothing like that.
05:30They're just truants, that's all.
05:32Truants.
05:33I remember skipping the odd lecture
05:35to float down the river on my back,
05:38trailing my hand in the water
05:40while some pretty girl punted away
05:42at the other end of the boat.
05:44All the undergraduates used to do it in the summer?
05:46Oh, they still do, Smithy.
05:49Well, I suppose you've been through
05:50all the checking over the parents' routine.
05:52Eh?
05:53The pupils have been spoken to
05:55and letters have been written to the parents.
05:57As little else we can do in a situation like this.
05:59Oh.
05:59Well, does anyone mind if I have a bash?
06:01Well, if you think you can succeed where we fail,
06:04by all means,
06:05leap astride your white charger
06:07and thunder off into the fray.
06:08A poet as well.
06:10Well, I'll just settle up my little free leader
06:12and be after the varlets.
06:14I wonder where they are now.
06:15I wonder.
06:17Such happy fellows in their white flannels
06:19and striped blazers and straw booters.
06:22There you are, boy,
06:23or they've joined a bloody concert party.
06:27Oh, come on, Slate.
06:28What are we going to do?
06:29We're going to wait for it, ain't we?
06:30You have plans.
06:32Any old plan, looky.
06:33Ain't that enough?
06:33No.
06:34I want to make a revolutionary gesture.
06:37Yeah, like calling old Mother Yule
06:39a fascist toerate.
06:40Look where that goes.
06:42I bet you wouldn't have put Shea Guevara in detention.
06:50Hi, Slate.
06:51Hi, Slate.
06:52Buzz.
06:52Here.
06:53You know, yesterday,
06:54any time they knock off some grub,
06:56well, I did.
06:58What's that?
06:59Sherbet.
07:00Five pound of it.
07:01Man, that sherbet represents...
07:03a body blow to capitalism.
07:05Yeah, and a body blow to us if we eat it all.
07:08What are we going to do with five pound of sherbet?
07:10Eddie will know.
07:11Hi, Eddie.
07:12Hi.
07:13Hi, kids.
07:14I've got a grub.
07:15Good, well, move that sherbet
07:16and put it on the table.
07:18Hey, well, what is it?
07:21Urgh.
07:22Urgh.
07:22Take it home and stick it with your 500 cake frills
07:25and that fake moustache.
07:28Here, did I have a tell you about that?
07:30Yeah, right under his nose.
07:31Here, Ed, what are we going to do?
07:32Do?
07:33Do?
07:34Look, boss, I've been around.
07:35Been to school, been on the dole.
07:37I had a job once, too.
07:38He's done it all.
07:41Yeah, and I tell you, there's nothing worth doing.
07:43Even if you find something, what happens?
07:44Yeah.
07:45What happens?
07:46What?
07:47Well, I'll tell you.
07:48You'll tell you.
07:48Nothing!
07:50Because they're all against you out there.
07:51The old bleeding world's stacked against the likes of us,
07:54boss, me old son.
07:58You see?
07:59Well, now what we're going to do?
08:01Do.
08:03It's very kind of you to assist me like this.
08:05You see, only I don't leave the ground when my shrapnel's on the moon, you see.
08:09Yeah, it's all right, Potter.
08:10It keeps me off the streets.
08:13Or out of your arm chair, at any rate.
08:15Don't jump, Smithy.
08:17Remember, you've got the best ears.
08:18You're life ahead of you.
08:19You're only, um, 96.
08:24So, first off the mission completed, sir,
08:26one set of posters decorative for the viewing of, sir.
08:29Well done, Norman.
08:30I knew I could trust you.
08:31Of course you can, sir.
08:32Yes, of course we got.
08:33Oh, at ease, Norman.
08:35Thank you, Lord.
08:36It was, uh, it was a bit of a tricky op, you know, David.
08:38Well, there was this long-haired bloke serving in the shop, you see,
08:41and he struck me as being a bit sort of, you know, sort of ambidextrous.
08:44Yeah, as he kept calling me ducks.
08:46Well, it's the uniform that attracts them, no one.
08:48Well, let's see what you've got here.
08:50Well, I'd like to have a look, too, if someone would help me down.
08:53Well, I did think that was one rather inspiring military poster.
08:56I spotted it straight away.
08:57It's Che Guevara.
08:59It is a bit, isn't it?
09:01It's like a young Monty, I thought, you know.
09:03This one's rather psychedelic.
09:05Oh, yes, that's a...
09:06Oh, look, there's a couple on here.
09:08Oh, I say, yes, they seem to be.
09:11Oh.
09:11Really?
09:12Can we get a discount on large orders?
09:14I sincerely trust you don't intend to order all of these, Mr Brown.
09:18Well, they might have got the truant's back.
09:20But are you sure the ends justify the means?
09:23Yes, but it depends which ends you mean, Mr Brown.
09:26Smithy, would you like a poster or two?
09:28I don't quite see how I could bring Bridget Bardo on a motorbike into my geography lessons.
09:33It'll be fun trying, though, on it.
09:36Mr Potter, his poster seems to have brought out the barroom element in you all.
09:41Frustrating, isn't it, David?
09:43If it wasn't for me, you know, you wouldn't have a new television set.
09:47Now, don't tell me.
09:48I'll find it.
09:48No, no, no, sir.
09:49No, no, sir.
09:51It's in the headmaster's study, sir.
09:52No, he's making a few notes, you see, on which programmes are suitable for human consumption.
09:57Oh, well, we'll never get to see anything, then, will we?
09:59Perhaps we should talk about this away from the other ranks.
10:02Right, Norman.
10:03Now, sir, if you'll follow me, I'll show you my little mess under the stage, sir.
10:12I, er, I trust my short absence, you see, will not erupt any prior derangement.
10:20Here he comes!
10:22Get him on, get him on, quick!
10:24Hey, what's he doing?
10:26Hey, what's he doing?
10:27Hey, what's he doing?
10:29Hey, what's he doing?
10:30Hey, what's he doing?
10:30Right, you're getting quite good, sir.
10:32Right.
10:33Where are Slater and Ibbotson?
10:37I don't want the old exotic tropical disease bit,
10:41or that he's taken his penguin to the vet.
10:43I know they're playing truant, and I want to see them.
10:46Now, there'll be no violence, no notes to the headmaster,
10:49no raps on the door at midnight.
10:51I simply want to know why they're not at school.
10:53Probably they've got something better to do.
10:55Oh, like what?
10:57I mean, what good will it do them,
10:59hanging around some coffee bar?
11:03Or, er, sitting in a local cinema?
11:06Or, er...
11:07Try bowling alley.
11:08Bowling alley?
11:09No, not even warm.
11:11In that case, bon appétit.
11:13That's French fur.
11:14Go and stuff yourselves with seward pudding.
11:16What?
11:17Well, you're not going to tell me anything, are you?
11:19No.
11:19Well, but along, then.
11:22Thanks a lot, sir.
11:23Oh, see you.
11:28Um, David?
11:31Ah, Pat.
11:31If I revealed something to you, will you promise not to do anything rash?
11:38Pat, I am the soul of discretion.
11:40Oh, well, it's like this.
11:45Ibbotson and I, or rather, Boz and me,
12:12No, no, just the last bit.
12:15Oh, oh, oh, it's Boz.
12:19He hangs around the Caribbean billiard hall.
12:22Oh.
12:30Boo.
12:35Oh, ha, oh, sorry.
12:37Oh, that's what I like about you, Lord David.
12:39Well, your quarters are always so spick and span, aren't they?
12:42I'll tell you what, sir, how about another cup of tea in my private bunker?
12:46No, thank you, Norman.
12:47Some other time.
12:48I'm going to try and persuade the headmaster to come to the Caribbean with me.
12:51Oh.
12:53Hey, Caribbean?
12:55Oh, well, you've been eating this then, David, won't you?
12:58Oh, well, you've been eating this then, David.
12:59Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
12:59Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:00Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:01Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:04Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:05Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:07Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:08Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:10Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:12Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:13Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:13Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:17Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:20Oh, well, you've been eating this then.
13:30up a bit headmaster up a bit no up no wait a minute
13:35no no no no no no it's not good sir no no i'm sorry sir i'm afraid you'll have to
13:42go up on the
13:42roof sir oh no thank you i think i'll wait until your shrapnel settings oh hello david did you
13:48want to see me uh yes headmaster it's about the truants truants oh i'll show me a truant and i'll
13:53show you an ambi panel yes you won't find any in my school well no i probably won't i'll find
13:58them
13:58in the caribbean billiard hall i wondered if we might both go down there and have a chat with them
14:01oh i couldn't go to a billiard hall bad example we'd have the children there next truants just another
14:07word for cards you know yes i met a lot of them in north africa you know well i'm trying
14:12to catch
14:12these two before they get to the docks uh headmaster would you mind if i go down wild geese wild
14:16geese
14:16david but still if it eases your mind go ahead thank you not the thermometer oh
14:25ow yes i thought so haha trying to smuggle another way no no no no no i haven't played
14:29with it all day but come along there's work to be done my brilliance is fading mindly airy
14:34oh Johnson's Johnson's you're as translucent as Amazon no no no i'm a machine now come and
14:39hurry up where i shall miss mary mango and midge come on
14:45don't know why you made me buy them it's the only way to be sure of getting something useful isn't
14:49it
14:49Tell you what, I did knock off, though.
14:53Oh, God.
14:54Limey, don't tell me the old bird in the shop didn't notice that thing.
14:57Nah, I got it from the hairdressers, didn't I?
14:58In the night like that, then I was.
14:59Nobody's seen me.
15:02It's my sister's mate.
15:03She's completely bald.
15:04No.
15:05Yeah?
15:06No.
15:07Don't worry, ain't from the hairdressers.
15:09He's from school.
15:10Bleeding teacher, ain't he?
15:11Oh, thank you for the glowing introduction.
15:14Oh, thank you, I'm tired of a cell.
15:15Didn't know you two went to Harrow and hit him.
15:18Don't half talk funny, don't you?
15:19Here, don't come up with me, mate.
15:21I've been around.
15:22I've had a job.
15:23Oh, big deal.
15:25I've had six.
15:26And I was the first Argyle officer to sell porridge to the Arabs.
15:30Yeah?
15:31Well, you can't touch us two because we're Weaver Street.
15:33Yeah.
15:34Hmm, lucky old Weaver Street.
15:35No, it's these two I've come to see.
15:37We ain't coming back.
15:39Nah.
15:39I'm making a revolutionary gesture.
15:42Yeah, like this.
15:45Yes, I can see the attraction of this place now.
15:47The stimulating wit and repartee.
15:49Here, tell him, Eddie.
15:51Yes, come on.
15:52What are you going to tell me?
15:59Nothing.
15:59Hmm.
16:02Listen, you two, have you been here all day?
16:04Yeah.
16:04What do you do here?
16:05Well, we always, well, we sort of, well, school's boring.
16:08Don't teach you anything.
16:10Anyway, school's not very revolutionary.
16:12Oh, this is what it's all about, man.
16:14Well, this and Sherbert.
16:16We're undermining capitalism.
16:17No, you're not.
16:18You're pilfering.
16:19I'm not very well at that.
16:20Yeah, I told you so.
16:21He's going to report you now.
16:23That's all he wants to go and...
16:25nothing.
16:25Hmm.
16:27I'll tell you what, Boz.
16:29Pat would like you to come back.
16:32Who's Pat?
16:34Oh.
16:34Uh, well, what about your parents, eh?
16:37Could they like you running around billiard halls?
16:39I don't know.
16:40Ask me Dad.
16:41Dad!
16:43Hello.
16:44Oh.
16:44Uh, Mr. Riverson.
16:46Yeah.
16:46Oh.
16:47Uh, ah, good afternoon.
16:48Oh.
16:49Listen, you're all kidding yourselves.
16:50Running around billiard halls isn't doing anything.
16:52It's just apathetic.
16:53Apathetic.
16:54Quite.
16:55Oh, I'm not going to say any more.
16:57Please your own minds.
16:58Yeah, make up your own minds.
17:00Yes.
17:00So, who's going to play me?
17:02Quit a frame, okay?
17:04Yeah.
17:14Morning, all.
17:15Morning.
17:16Ah, woodland rapture.
17:18Well, don't look at me.
17:19Doris.
17:20I'd like to think that you're wearing it specially for me.
17:24Well, I'm not interested in men who frequent billiard halls.
17:27Hmm?
17:27I saw you coming out of the Caribbean last night.
17:30Oh, yes.
17:30I went there to find our young truants.
17:32Did you have any success?
17:34Yes.
17:34I won a five-pound jar of sherbet.
17:36With the truants, David.
17:37The truants.
17:38Oh, well, who knows?
17:39They're only a very strange crowd.
17:41Whig-stealing is the thing at the moment, and it's bound to get worse.
17:44Hey, did you know, Everton's father manages that place?
17:47Oh, yes.
17:47I bumped into him at a parents' evening once.
17:50He kept going on about beautiful cannons.
17:53I thought he had some sort of a religious kink.
17:57And did your little heart-to-heart uncover any reason for their stopping away?
18:01Well, yes.
18:02Boredom.
18:03Oh, I didn't know that was a valid excuse.
18:05Don't expect me in tomorrow, Doris.
18:07Oh, and I know the kids might have a point.
18:08I mean, they're entitled to enjoy lessons.
18:10Enjoy lessons?
18:11That's heresy, boy-o.
18:12No, no, it's the direct approach that works.
18:15Write your facts on six-inch nails and hammer them into their skull.
18:22David, we're not trying to be difficult.
18:24At least Mr. Smith and I aren't.
18:26But teaching at Fen Street isn't the easiest occupation in the world.
18:29Yes, I'm beginning to see that, Doris.
18:31Still, in moments of stress, it's always nice to know there's a friendly shoulder to cry on.
18:38Oh, charm a snake out of a basket, wouldn't you, Monsieur Le.
18:43Right, now I can bandage that with them all.
18:45Now, if you'll just gather round, I'd like to show you while I'm...
18:49Aye, aye.
18:50They're all gone.
18:51Oh, well, never mind.
18:52Wait till they do see my visual aids.
18:55They won't be able to contain their effluence.
19:10It's all right. Just another yo-yo victim.
19:13I'm awfully sorry, my dear, but you did walk straight into my back and play.
19:20Oh, hello, Boz.
19:22Aye, sir. Mr. Brown, uh, David?
19:24Yes, uh, have you dropped in for the day or just to pick up a few petrol bombs?
19:28I've got a bit boring down the billiard hall.
19:31Posters are all right.
19:32Good.
19:33Oh, uh, Boz, you don't want to buy a five-pound jar of sherbet, do you?
19:37Damn.
19:42David.
19:42Pat.
19:43I've just seen Evertson.
19:44That is Boz.
19:46And I think he just needed someone who...
19:49Well, I knew you could.
19:51Oh.
19:52Anyway...
19:52Yes, yes, I know, yes, I know.
19:54Thank you very much for your help, Pat.
19:56Well, you'd better run along.
19:57You might be late for, uh, history.
20:02Oh.
20:05Potter's been neglecting the drains again.
20:08Ah, these are your visual aids, Boyle.
20:10What?
20:11Well, it can't be.
20:12It looks like some old load of ex-army junk.
20:13Well, only because it is.
20:15I thought I could trust Potter.
20:17There must be some mistake.
20:18Aye, trusting Potter.
20:20Oh, we've managed to find a tape recorder, though.
20:28Oh, I shall put one of these on, Boyle.
20:30The world seems a safer place in here.
20:31The trouble with you is, sweetie, you're just an escapist.
20:34Eh?
20:34Like me.
20:35Oh.
20:36Oh, it's not bad in the air, is it?
20:37Can you hear me over there?
20:38Yes, I can hear you.
20:39Can you hear me, brother?
20:41Hey!
20:41I've never heard the sirens go.
20:43Take those ridiculous things off.
20:45You sound like Bill and Ben.
20:47Oh, what do you know about Bill and Ben?
20:49The headmaster told me all about them.
20:52How to assemble a field latrine?
20:55What's this?
20:56Well, creative teaching aids a la Norman.
20:58Forgive my amusement.
21:00I did rather expect something like this.
21:02Oh, don't tell me he's actually managed to get hold of something useful.
21:05Oh, a tape recorder.
21:07We shall fight on the beaches.
21:09We shall fight on the landing grounds.
21:11Brilliant, Doris.
21:12He looks on moving at all.
21:19Ah, they'll be in there now, viewing my little treasures.
21:22Ah, now, modesty, Norman, modesty.
21:25I imagine you're going in to receive a medal from Monty.
21:28I wonder how much he paid for this, Lord of Junk.
21:30A good question, Mr Price.
21:32Well, David, have you learned from this?
21:34Potter is not to be trusted.
21:36Oh, let's not be too unkind.
21:37I mean, he did try his best.
21:40You'll come to realise, David,
21:42that Potter's best is always less than average.
21:45He gave his all in North Africa, you know.
21:47There's nothing bloody left.
21:48No!
21:51Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
22:02Oh, my God!
22:15Oh, there you are, David.
22:18Come along in, come along in.
22:20Oh, by the way, do you notice anything?
22:22Uh, what, Headmaster?
22:25Nothing.
22:26Oh.
22:27Ah, caught me again, Headmaster.
22:29No, no, no, no, no, no, no yo-yo.
22:31No, my days of neurotic obsession are past.
22:34Oh.
22:36Yes, yes, I think I did see it once.
22:40Very clever chap, Mr Harbin.
22:43Very educational, you know, television.
22:45Very educational.
22:45I wonder if the children might catch a glimpse of it sometime, Headmaster.
22:48Well, of course they will, David, when I've had time to censor everything.
22:51I've got a lot of notes about it.
22:53Ah, yes, here they are.
22:54Hey, Master, what exactly did you want to see me about?
22:58Ah, yes, well, yes, now, David, er...
23:02Here we are, sir, hot and steaming and just as sweet as...
23:07I'll come back, sir, when you're more disposable.
23:09No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't go.
23:12This concerns you just as much.
23:14Yes, I thought it might.
23:15Now, er, I don't know what you two have been up to.
23:18Oh, I cannot allow school funds to be squandered on army surplus equipment.
23:22I'm surprised at you, Norman.
23:24I was only acting under order, sir.
23:26Well, go on, tell him, sir, tell him.
23:28Well, Norman, I did expect you to use your initiative, not your sense of humour.
23:31Yes, I'm afraid your natural flippancy has got the better of you this time.
23:35No, I thought it was an officer's job to back his own men.
23:38Yes, I might have known there was something about long hair.
23:41But I thought you at least, Headmaster, I thought at least you would be my ally.
23:46Why? I suppose once again, I shall have to take back the pan.
23:50What?
23:52Ah, how noble of him to take the blame.
23:55Oh, by the way, David, congratulations.
23:58Headmaster?
23:58Truants, truants, 100% success.
24:01Oh, well, 50% really, sir. Slater hasn't returned.
24:04Slater, Slater, no, I don't recognise the name. 100% success.
24:07Well done, David.
24:08And I think we've got to understand each other a little better, yes?
24:11Yes, a little, Headmaster.
24:13Ah, then perhaps you'll join me in...
24:14Oh, well, thank you very much for the offer, sir.
24:17I'm rather worried about Norman. I hope he's not too upset.
24:20Oh, you don't know Norman as well as I do.
24:21He'll spend the rest of the day making good his mistakes.
24:24You mark my word.
24:25Hmm.
24:27Oh, come on, what are we going to do?
24:29Daryl?
24:31Oh, very well, sonny boy.
24:33Yeah.
24:33And they're all against you.
24:35I'll tell you.
24:36I'll tell you, there's nothing worth doing.
24:38Nothing.
24:40Nothing?
24:40I'll tell you.
24:44I'll tell you.
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