- 4 hours ago
First broadcast 8th November 1969.
Mr Hedges believes that the students need to get out and meet some of the older members of community to help them get a better understanding of their place in society.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Jack Woolgar - Albert Dearth
Johnny Butler - Boy clashes with Mr. Price
Kristin Hatfield - Pupil
Winifred Sabine - Woman in park
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Mr Hedges believes that the students need to get out and meet some of the older members of community to help them get a better understanding of their place in society.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Jack Woolgar - Albert Dearth
Johnny Butler - Boy clashes with Mr. Price
Kristin Hatfield - Pupil
Winifred Sabine - Woman in park
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00Come on, boys!
00:30Yeah, here you are.
00:47Geriatrics. The study of the problems and care of the age.
00:52Blimey, he was right, sure.
00:53Yeah, how'd you know that?
00:54I'm not just a body, Eric.
00:57Don't kid yourself, dollface.
00:59Pardon?
01:00I was just coughing, Eric.
01:02Yeah.
01:02Well, why does Sir want us to look after old people?
01:05We're not nurses.
01:06We ain't nannies either, but he thinks he's getting us down that nursery.
01:09What's he after?
01:11No wonder we lost the empire.
01:13Oh, look, it's Uncle Norman.
01:15Hey!
01:15Hey, Uncle Norman!
01:17It's thanks to you lot, you know, that my Wellington boots are incommunicado.
01:21You want to bore me brother's van to go and get them?
01:24That's Spanish, sonny, meaning ring.
01:26Yes, yes, ring.
01:28Go on, look at that, then.
01:29Look at that, look at those people.
01:29Oh!
01:32Yes.
01:32Right, come on.
01:34Who did it?
01:36Not me.
01:38I shall find out in the end, you know.
01:41I'm relentless.
01:42Oh.
01:42Oh, yes.
01:43And when I do...
01:44Uncle Norman, please, we're way down with studies as it is.
01:47Studies?
01:48What, you lot?
01:49Oh.
01:49We was talking about geriatrics.
01:52Oh.
01:52Who was he, then?
01:54Just some bloke come up to school.
01:58After a job.
02:00What job?
02:01Yeah, I heard that.
02:03Administrative something.
02:06Executive.
02:07Yeah, that was it.
02:09Administrative executive.
02:10Oh, yeah.
02:11Oh, I couldn't have, I couldn't have.
02:12That's my job.
02:13Oh, me and my big...
02:14I thought you'd have known.
02:16Well, nobody said anything to me.
02:17Oh, well, I think the dude behind a bloke's back, eh?
02:20Yeah.
02:20Calls himself an headmaster.
02:22Wait a minute, wait a minute.
02:23This atrix bloke, do you mean he's actually been and seen my headmaster?
02:28Sick as thieves, they was.
02:29Yeah.
02:30Well, they'll soon find out about that, won't we?
02:32Oh, yes.
02:33And I'm going to stand by, you know, while they circumvent me.
02:36Uncle Norman?
02:37Yeah?
02:37You left your bucket here last night.
02:39Right.
02:39Right.
02:44So, say what you like, I've come to this conclusion.
02:54There is an age gap between old-age pensioners and children.
02:58Oh, yes.
02:58They seem a bit older, don't they?
02:59Exactly.
03:00Shut up.
03:01But the point I'm trying to make is that my children going out into the district,
03:05meeting the pensioners, is the first step towards building a socially more responsible society.
03:12Assuming that utopia is just round the corner.
03:15More, Doris.
03:16No, headmaster, I've said all I have to say.
03:18No, no, no, no, Sir Thomas More, utopia, you know.
03:20Always the scholar, headmaster.
03:23May I say something as an old person?
03:26Well, you can hardly say it as a young girl, can you?
03:28You see, Hedges, I have my doubts.
03:31Is this district really so full of old people who would actually seek company from schoolchildren?
03:37I, especially when those children are 5C.
03:39Since I saw the welfare chappy smith, I can answer that question in hard facts and figures.
03:4483.6% of old-age pensioners would.
03:4883.3% of old-age pensioners would.
03:55Ah, and what percentage of that 3.6% do you suppose are left-handed?
04:01Do you know, Sir, I don't know the answer to that one.
04:04Why do you ask?
04:05Well, I'm thinking of the children laying the table for them.
04:07They'd have to know, wouldn't they?
04:08I didn't knock, headmaster.
04:13Deliberately.
04:13Bad hand, Potter.
04:15What?
04:16What are those objects on your feet?
04:20Vandalised boots.
04:21Ah, my, my fault, was it?
04:23Oh.
04:24Who else?
04:26I thought for a moment he'd become a leggy hippie.
04:29Hippie, yes.
04:30They're not unattractive, Potter.
04:32My boots pale into insignificance, Sir, beside my wounded pride.
04:37Oh, yes.
04:37Now, I want you all to watch what I'm doing.
04:44Mr Potter has put the waste paper basket on the table.
04:47He's putting his hat and seems to be, yes, taking the badge out of his hat.
04:51And, yes, the lapelable badge is coming out as well and it's into the basket.
04:54He's gone bloody mad.
04:56Where is more, Mr Price?
04:58There is, in fact, more to come here from Penn Street.
05:00The buttons are coming off the jacket one by one.
05:04Jacket's been a bit torn there.
05:05More buttons are coming off.
05:07I think we're going to get the full set.
05:09Yes, indeed.
05:10There we are.
05:11How I hate detest and detest perverted symbolism.
05:14I think it's going to go out of the window.
05:17Yes, indeed.
05:18The whole lot's gone out of the window.
05:19What are you doing, ma'am?
05:22Unfrogging myself.
05:23Oh, no.
05:23Why?
05:23Because of geriatrics.
05:29What has the care of the aged got to do with this display?
05:33You what?
05:34That's what the word means.
05:37Oh, yes, I know.
05:38Of course.
05:39Yes.
05:39I mean, mind you, you know, that 5C lot tried to kid me.
05:44That was the name of a bloke.
05:45After my job.
05:46You weren't taken in, though, were you, Potter?
05:51Well, an old campaigner like me, of course not.
05:53Then why did you throw your buttons out of the window?
05:56Oh, yeah.
06:03What is Privet trying to turn us into?
06:05Brilliant scholars or bloody missionaries?
06:08There's nothing wrong with doing good works in the neighbourhood, Eric.
06:11Yeah, but working in a day nursery, me.
06:13That's some very charming little opus down here, all.
06:15Eh?
06:16Oh.
06:16Well, I'm supposed to be head cook and pot to wash at the old mother Bratby.
06:19Yeah.
06:19Oh, she's nice.
06:21Very active old girl for her age and all.
06:23Exactly.
06:23She don't need me.
06:24I'll shoot me down a flick.
06:25Well, I don't mind doing this.
06:28It's better than environmental studies.
06:30This is environmental studies, Dennis.
06:32Oh.
06:33Yeah, well, Frankie Abbott ain't no old pear girl.
06:36And if this old boot thinks any different, here's a surprising store.
06:40Yeah, for you when she knocks you flat on your back.
06:43Yeah.
06:43If I went flat on me back, Eric,
06:45it would only be to put me foot in her stomach and throw her over me head.
06:48Oh, shut up.
06:49Shut up.
06:55Oh, shut up.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:55Oh, my God.
08:25Oh, my God.
08:55Oh, my God.
09:25Oh, my God.
09:55Oh, my God.
09:57Oh, my God.
09:59Oh, my God.
10:01Oh, my God.
10:03Oh, my God.
10:05Oh, my God.
10:07Oh, my God.
10:09Oh, my God.
10:11Oh, my God.
10:13Oh, my God.
10:15Oh, my God.
10:17Oh, my God.
10:19Oh, my God.
10:21Oh, my God.
10:29Oh, my God.
10:31Oh.
10:32you're he Doris how would you like to go to an intimate little sherry party next week
10:42oh headmaster Morris I'd love to good spend it 6 30 Thursday that's a date will you pick me up
10:49oh no I'm not going I just wanted you to stand in for me yes of course I will gladly good night
10:56but I thought you'd like to go Doris I know you don't get out much oh dear
11:00how would you like to be changed into a frog well I'm not going to so get off
11:10how do kids get ink in their ears oh well come on Smithy it's Thursday I'll buy you a pint make it
11:20two halves and I'm your man Bach you know with 5c out on their welfare studies I didn't get my
11:29a day till half past three hey you're right you all ray of sunshine I haven't got mine at all oh
11:35we'll have to thank old edges by letting him buy us a pint no we can't do that apparently two of his
11:39class met with the rebuff of no mean nature from some old gentleman sir so Hedges has written off
11:44pennant flying and flag at the tilt to write another wrong happy happy analogy you know he is rather
11:51like a young knight here into town the only trouble is his armor is about as thick as a baked bean tin
11:57go on boy will you be careful he nearly it's as hard as my dad it's all right Dennis he may be a
12:03little short-tempered with young people but adults don't usually go around and hitting each other
12:07my dad it's my mum yes well they're married
12:09what's their means then is he's like one of the authorities right as well as being wise gentle
12:18mature and all that now come along mr. dearth we know you're in there oh sir I guess it better
12:27please run silly Denny she's probably just a little shy now come along mr. dearth we are here to help
12:34you and until you let us in nothing you do will make us go away
13:04may I also say how very impressed we all are at the nursery it's very refreshing to find two
13:15young people giving such cheerful assistance towards the well-being of their community or
13:19sincerely mrs. Ensign
13:20oh very nice but how can you two be so badly behaved at school and yet so good with little
13:26children because they are little children they ain't been corrupted by society have they
13:30read that in a book somewhere Duffy no it's what I think I ain't just a lovely fellow I'm double
13:35intelligent I've always maintained that Eric would make a natural father probably already is
13:42we uh we missed a little pearl there did we Abbott I never said nothing that's the trouble
13:52if someone in his class keeps taking my voice off it's probably Dennis he does impersonations
13:57I only do animals Abbott now look here Abbott I've had just a cluck cluck that's a chicken
14:01whinny whinny all right thank you very much Dennis thank you very much now listen to me Abbott
14:06now thrifty lines I must not tell lies any more testimonials sir uh yes yes I believe there is
14:13another one here uh dear mr hedges I reckons that F Abbott Esquire is the most bossed boy I
14:23who've ever come across he should be give a long holiday yours fatfully mrs harble 100 lines
14:35Abbott I must not forge letters who give me away shut up where's crazy he shot off shot off where
14:45I don't know open this door you old getter I'll kick it in
14:54gotcha no no no I only got one lungis me stick back go on you try it oh you a burglar no I'm a little
15:12schoolboy from Fen Street ah another one of them hey well I don't want your charity see and I don't
15:17want your pity well it's just as well because I ain't offering them well I don't hey as a matter
15:22of fact I've come to demand an apology of the despicable way you treated two of my mates well
15:27I don't have to apologize see I'm old does that excuse you from washing as well look at the state of
15:32you my old granddad could see you he'd throw up yeah well I'm older than him I'm not how the hell do you
15:37know how old is he hundred and forty-nine no bloody liar and I do was that a little laugh no guys no you
15:49apologize you know I'm not no I ain't think they wanted to help you that's my lot yeah well you ain't
15:55coming in I might let you in if you was to come back again what's your name then I might kill myself
16:10the more I hear about mr. dearth from the authority Smithy the more I'm convinced he needs help he
16:29hasn't been outside his house in four years yeah well elderly people sometimes do very eccentric things
16:35oh dear marriage isn't good like this they've shrank of course have you got your carpet slippers on
16:48smithy oh mr. Potter I didn't do it no I know you didn't Smithy did oh typical trying to shift the
16:59blame onto an old and veneered colleague don't you come the old soldier with me you know my knees are
17:09proud how would you like to help an old soldier talk we've never even done national service no
17:14not not me miss mr. dearthi 14 Mesopotamia in the Great War Mesopotamia he was one of Allenby's lads
17:23yes of course I love you thanks very much mr. Potter there's the address do what you can you're
17:29uh you're my last hope Potter last hope oh that's what Monty called me before Allemane you know
17:34good night it is good night Smithy good night it must have had a mess with it going well isn't it
17:41hedges what my citizenship idea for 5c uh well mine actually sir oh hedges hedges we're all marching
17:49under the same banner does it matter who carries it I suppose not sir so long as everything's going
17:54well with my scheme mr. hedges I just received an alarming telephone call from meals on wheels
18:03on behalf of mr. dearth one of your boys visited him this afternoon so that's where Craven got to yes
18:11of course I'm sorry you wouldn't know where members of your form were would you apparently the visit
18:16resulted in Craven insulting bullying and finally almost assaulting mr. dearth mr. dearth demands an
18:23apology from the little barbarian and you will take him along and ensure that he gets it don't worry
18:28miss you'll I'll I'll drag him along as soon as I get time tomorrow morning tomorrow morning that's
18:32when I'll drag him along with your see Craven have you bye but he's gone he's been back is he I and he
18:38asked me to give you a give you a message tell privet I'm shooting off to have another go at old
18:42dr. death mr. hedges right oh dear have I poured burning oil on troubled water it's hedges citizenship
18:57idea it's going wrong and I can't be expected to be blamed for it can I of course not headmaster I said
19:02to hedges we all march under the same banner but you're carrying it young man never mind headmaster
19:07shall I cheer you up with a joke oh yes please do pricey well someone has let all the tires on
19:11your car down
19:12all right now what have you done with mr. dear nothing I'll just plan a social call oh yeah it's
19:22like the social call you paid this afternoon you know he got somebody to ring up the school about
19:25you he just wanted to see me again didn't he see you again did he of course he's too proud to
19:31ask in a normal way that's why I thought he really did need help coming in point oh Sharon hello sir
19:45Maureen oh you've you've cleaned uh half half of it yeah well I'm sorry Craven I was gonna tell you
19:53what well that's nothing new is it good job you never come earlier sir you just need to gas mask yes
19:58well well where in fact is mr. dear oh he's in there we thought we'd flash him up to go with
20:02his house oh you ought to take up psychology Craven you seem to have a way with the old with a
20:06champion
20:06no no I won't
20:09bye chief oh Peter you'll have to go he said he was gonna make me eat the soap it's all right Dennis
20:19I'm here now I'll uh I'll take care of him now uh look here an old soldier
20:25I think he wants to see you Craven listen here stink nasty you're having a watch if I close you down in
20:40your yard oh sir look at the state of you thank you very much uh what thank you I thank you yeah
20:48it's just more like unarmed combat and citizenship yeah he moves with Frankie Abbott's behind him
20:52though I'm not surprised with that helmet still we're uh we're winning made us winning he is good
20:58with him comes from having a nan and granddad of his own I suppose come on come on you won't
21:03that's all no one in the scullery like a phoenix rising from the ashes shut your face like eat
21:13here what you lot done to my room come here over there now then which half do you prefer dirty or
21:21clean yes exactly now you keep yourself nice and we'll come back and do the other half no that that
21:30is not a threat you do understand that old chap I thought I told you to shut up
21:34there you go we'll be off come again
21:38here where you going then Peter now don't start all that again we asked you out for a drink and
21:47you said no well I don't go out do I haven't been out to this house for four years well that's nothing
21:52to boast about you don't understand this is probably deep-seated agoraphobia will you shut up
21:58why don't you go out well it's the roadway people only to the council and that I mean
22:04if I go and leave my little home they might turn it into a mocha way or something like that
22:09see Cleven he probably can't reconcile his values with modern life knickers he's telling lies go on
22:16how long would we be out after you long as we was enjoying ourselves yeah I know but you see
22:28not going out you forget like how to go out you put one foot in front of the other it's called
22:33walking I don't seem to know not nobody these days oh you know I don't know shall I shut the
22:41door then yeah go on Albert all right come on you're silly old fool you can't get back in
22:46shut up good for you dad come on here here beat her that lady kid he ain't coming with us is he
22:54of course he is he's paying for the drinks isn't he
22:57all right I said I had something to think of something to bring him out of the house didn't I
23:23yes well the barplane doesn't bring it on nothing will all right lads um well go on go on give him
23:31a give him a call right give him a lock but call him then go on give him a call mr. dear that's it go
23:40on again mr. dear yeah right
23:53oh
24:01oh
24:33Now that's the rehearsal.
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