- 14 hours ago
First broadcast 13th November 1971.
The headmaster gives Potter permission to advertise for an assistant.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Richard Warwick - David Ffitchett-Brown
Derek Griffiths - Sidney Noakes
David Howe - Colin Lovelace
Roderick Smith - Philip Larch
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
The headmaster gives Potter permission to advertise for an assistant.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Richard Warwick - David Ffitchett-Brown
Derek Griffiths - Sidney Noakes
David Howe - Colin Lovelace
Roderick Smith - Philip Larch
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:26The Lone Ranger
00:38It's too bad, really, it is.
00:40I make one concession to Potter
00:41and you all try and take advantage of me.
00:43But, Morris, all I want...
00:45Yes, I know what you want and I will not listen.
00:47No more talk about S-E-X, please.
00:50There's a time and a place for that sort of thing.
00:52Oh, I'll see you there at 6 o'clock, eh, Doris?
00:57It's the thin end of the wedge.
00:59Why, even Mr. Smith is demanding heaven knows what.
01:03He's reading the little red school book, Smithy.
01:05He hardly demands, headmaster.
01:08Merely a request.
01:09But couched in the most aggressive terms.
01:11Now, listen.
01:12In view of recent events,
01:13I hereby request that my classroom be cleaned more regularly than hitherto.
01:18You see?
01:18My God, real aggro.
01:20I'm surprised that you were born.
01:22Well, it's hardly unreasonable if Potter is getting an assistant at last.
01:25Well, it depends what he's like.
01:26What's he like, Morris?
01:28I have no idea, Mr. Fitchett Brown.
01:30He has not yet arrived,
01:31but I'm sure that we can trust Potter.
01:33He would never accept anyone who was not right for the job.
01:36What are you talking about?
01:37He married Ruby, didn't he?
01:39He's not yet.
02:01In time.
02:03Have you Mr. Potter?
02:05Yes, that's right.
02:06Oh, Sidney Noakes' council has sent me.
02:08Oh, yes, of course.
02:09You've come about the...
02:11Hi, George.
02:12Something wrong, then?
02:13No, no, no, lad.
02:14It's just that you're not quite what I was expecting.
02:17Well, I mean, you're black...
02:18You're...
02:19You're any...
02:21I mean, you're young.
02:22Oh!
02:23Aren't you?
02:23Yes.
02:24You're not a parent, by any chance, are you?
02:26No, no, not unless I've slipped up, eh?
02:31Well, it's cosy here, isn't it, eh?
02:32Oh, yes, well, you know...
02:34Oh, I say, look, you won't touch anything, will you?
02:36Oh, no, no, no.
02:37Eh, parquet-vous, son?
02:38Parquet-vous.
02:39Oh, yeah, tough.
02:40Yeah.
02:41Very snug, isn't it, eh?
02:43Blimey!
02:44And two phones.
02:45Oh, yes.
02:45Never stop ringing sometimes, you know.
02:47I can imagine.
02:48Yeah, probably have to get a third, you know.
02:49Do you know that I can dial straight through to the continent these days?
02:53Go on.
02:53Oh, it's a fact, you know.
02:54Yeah, they can hear my voice in France, Turkey, New York...
02:57Jamaica?
02:57Jamaica?
02:58Ah, no, I couldn't have you running out bills on here, son.
03:00One of your perks, eh?
03:01Ringing up your mates?
03:02No, no, no, it's all part of the job.
03:05You see, folks, in my profession, lad, the whole world is my oyster.
03:10Aye, aye.
03:11God blimey, you've been disconnected, Mr Potter.
03:14Yeah, perhaps the governor tumbled, eh?
03:16All them crafty tools.
03:18They are not crafty tools.
03:20Oh, well, don't worry, Mr P, I won't split on you.
03:22No.
03:24So you wanted me my private personal assistant, do you?
03:27Oh, would a gaffer up the council said it was General Andyman?
03:30Ah, yes, well, they always get it wrong, don't they?
03:32It's an Irish bloke up there, isn't it?
03:34Irish?
03:35Yes, well, I mean, what does he know about it, eh?
03:37Absolutely nothing at all, otherwise he wouldn't have sent me a bloody...
03:40LAUGHTER
03:42Well, what I was saying, eh...
03:43We just have a few questions here, son.
03:45Er, name?
03:46Sydney Noakes.
03:47Yeah, correct.
03:48Good start, that.
03:49Ha, ha, ha.
03:50Right, sex?
03:52Frequently.
03:54How put the nail there, lad.
03:56Now, special qualifications.
03:58University degree?
04:00What?
04:02Oh, well...
04:03Never mind, lad.
04:04Ha, ha, don't worry about it.
04:05You won't believe this, you know.
04:06But neither have I.
04:08Oh, go on.
04:08Hmm?
04:09Oh, same as you.
04:10Well, I mean, almost the same.
04:12And never be ashamed of it, lad.
04:13Never be ashamed of it.
04:14Well, I mean, look at me.
04:15You see?
04:16I mean, it hasn't got in the way of my advancement, does it?
04:18Oh, no.
04:19Ha, ha, ha.
04:20See?
04:20Yeah.
04:21Now then, er...
04:22A levels?
04:25B levels?
04:27C, D, E.
04:29I'm a fully-fledged witch doctor, if that's any help.
04:32Oh, I really?
04:33Yes, well, I'm not sure about that.
04:35You see, lad, in the teaching profession...
04:37Teaching profession?
04:38Look, I thought it was bog-washing.
04:42Latrine lavage, if you don't mind, sir.
04:46Now, question ten.
04:47What is your performance like on the squeegee?
04:50What's that?
04:51A sort of didgeridoo?
04:52Pardon?
04:53Didgeridoo?
04:55Yes, I suppose you could say that, yes.
04:57Well, then, I think I can give you a crash course for now.
05:00And remember this, Sidney.
05:02Any problems, and that door will always be open to you, day or night.
05:06Except after school hours.
05:08There is, er...
05:09Just one other question, lad.
05:10Are you, er...
05:12Are you really sure you want this, John?
05:15Oh, yeah.
05:16Yeah.
05:17Oh, well, then, I, er...
05:18I suppose it's yours, lad.
05:20Well, I know.
05:20The gaffer up the council told me.
05:22Ha, ha, ha.
05:23It's pathetic.
05:25It's ridiculous.
05:26It's lunatic.
05:27Cornwall is an old woman.
05:29Very marvellous.
05:30More, more, more.
05:31Yeah, all right, all right.
05:33Listen, nobody tells them anything about anything.
05:35Let alone about sex.
05:36Ah, that lot don't need telling.
05:38They've had more it than I've had school dinners.
05:41You know, there are times, born at price, when I simply do not understand you.
05:45Well, don't try.
05:46I don't want to be understood.
05:47I'd prefer to remain what Potter calls an ananema.
05:51Come on.
05:52Here, what is it?
05:54Woo!
05:54Yeah, you join me, please.
05:57Oi!
05:59It's Uncle Norman!
06:02Oh, very comical, I'm sure.
06:05Come in, send me for you.
06:06Eh?
06:10All right.
06:12Now, I expect you're wondering why I've come here today.
06:15No.
06:16All right, well, I'll tell you.
06:17I've come in here to introduce to you my new personal private assistant, Mr. Sidney Noakes.
06:23Ooh!
06:25Now, Mr. Noakes will be taking over certain minor duties.
06:29He looks like a minor at all.
06:32And I will expect you to give him the respect, you say, that you give me.
06:37Oh, we will!
06:41Good.
06:47World of iron, Sidney.
06:48World of iron.
06:49Oh, we have to be a leader of men, you know, to handle those animals.
06:55Oh, smart work, Sidney.
06:57You spotted that right away, didn't you?
06:58Eh?
06:59Do you know what that is?
07:01Leaky ready, eh, though?
07:02Yes, well, you'll learn, lad.
07:06Hold on a minute, Mr. Potter.
07:08Hmm?
07:08No, no, no, you'd better leave that to me, lad.
07:10I mean, after all, you mustn't run before you can walk, must you?
07:12Yeah, that should hold it a bit.
07:14Yeah.
07:14Till I can get to me tool bag.
07:16Oh, yeah, I see.
07:17I'll just wipe that up, eh?
07:18Yes, wipe that up, Sidney, and then come into the store.
07:23Er, hurry up, Sidney, please.
07:26I want you to meet some of my colleagues.
07:28Colleagues?
07:29Yes, all men are equal around the S-Bend, Doris.
07:33My new postal private assistant, Sidney.
07:37Oh, what, sir?
07:37What, sir, Sidney?
07:39How there, Monsieur, Mr. Price, Mr. Pity-Brown, and Mr. Smurfier.
07:43How do you do, Sidney?
07:45Oh, eh, would you?
07:51I say.
07:52Did you see that, David?
07:53I did.
07:54It's an omen.
07:55A gift from the gods.
07:56Six months on Potter's waiting list.
08:00And Sidney does it in six seconds.
08:03Four.
08:03What?
08:03Eh, what?
08:04Oh, where?
08:05Now, tell him, Sidney.
08:06Oh, I, uh, fix a doorknob, Mr. Potter.
08:08Oh, good lad.
08:10Good lad.
08:10Yes.
08:11I gave him that job just five minutes ago, you know.
08:13Ah, kid, I can confonner.
08:16Pardon?
08:17Ah, never mind.
08:18Ah.
08:18Well, you see, in future, I should be more concerned with admin, rather than the actual...
08:22The actual work.
08:23Exactly, yes.
08:24Eh, no.
08:25See you, Sidney.
08:25Turn up.
08:27Oh, I'm going to train young Sidney up.
08:30You make him sound like a hollyhock.
08:32I suppose this means you won't have time now for that lighter I asked you to mend.
08:36Well, of course I won't, Mr. Price.
08:38That comes under personal attention.
08:40Hey, you weren't talking about that, were you, Mr. Price?
08:42The flint was jammed, that's all.
08:45I don't believe it.
08:46Ah, yes, well, I said he could have a go, you see.
08:50The flint's jammed, I expect, I said.
08:52Didn't I, Sidney?
08:53I said, aren't they, yeah?
08:54Oh, yes, Mr. Potter, yeah.
08:57Loyal, too, I see.
09:02Look, Maurice, all I want to say about sex education is that the path before us is simple.
09:08I mean, either the children receive the information here at school or at home.
09:12Very well, then.
09:13They can have it away.
09:14What?
09:15No, will it?
09:17Yes, the parents have responsibilities, too.
09:19They should tackle the problem.
09:21Yeah, they should, but they don't.
09:23Oh, Norman, how are you starting to call?
09:25Oh, sprouting your road, Headmaster?
09:27Yeah.
09:28Well, um, I'll go, shall I?
09:30Come back in the morning, conspicuous moment.
09:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:32Mr. Fitchett-Brown, he's just going.
09:34What?
09:35Thank you, David.
09:36Hey, Master, I've got a chair.
09:37Oh, dear me.
09:38I don't know, third time this month.
09:40I beg your pardon?
09:41Yeah.
09:41Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm speaking louder.
09:43Take no notice, sir.
09:44I do apologise.
09:45I didn't really hear you.
09:47What did you say?
09:48Well, Headmaster, do you think I'm open in doing it?
09:52You see, my ruby does three times this month.
09:56Really, Norman, I don't think I'm the man to advise you on that.
09:59Why don't you have a chat with Mr. Fitchett-Brown?
10:01He knows all about these things.
10:03Eh?
10:05S-E-X.
10:07Sex?
10:07None!
10:08Oh, well, you see, sir, it's a sort of inner compulsion, you see, sir.
10:13I'm sorry, Norman, but I cannot undertake these medical matters.
10:17Yeah, well, I have to do it, you see, sir.
10:18I can't help myself.
10:19Well, you must try.
10:21Plunge your arms in cold water.
10:24Well, they fairly sparkly the first time, you see.
10:27But now the moment I see a speck of dust, well, there I am.
10:29At it again, you see.
10:31Norman, you mean the windows.
10:33The windows, sir?
10:34Yes.
10:35Ah.
10:35Oh, yes, sir.
10:36Yes, of course I could have got Sid to do it, you know, sir, but I knew it had to
10:39be an A1 job, sir,
10:40which is why I have cleaned your windows three times this month, personally.
10:44But I understand that Sidney is very efficient.
10:46Ah, well, now, you've put me in rather delicate position there, Ed Marston.
10:50Oh, really?
10:51Well, you see, I like to give the lad his head, you know, but, I mean, there have been occasions
10:54when, well,
10:55I won't say that he's a troublemaker or lazy, you know, but on the other hand, he is.
11:00Enter!
11:01Here, oh, sorry.
11:03No, no, no, no, no, no, come along in, come along in, Sidney.
11:05We were just talking about you.
11:06Oh, won't ask you what you were saying, eh?
11:10Putting in a good word, Sidney.
11:11Yes, Mr. Potter was singing your praises.
11:14Oh, yes, yes, I believe in calling a spade a spade.
11:19I'll fix that for you, then.
11:20Oh, my little thing, it's mended.
11:23Yes, well, I hope you followed my instructions properly, Sidney.
11:27Oh, yeah, I'll fix your car and all, sir.
11:30You what?
11:30A threbsious day.
11:32Oh, beamish boy.
11:34My word, Potter, you have trained him well.
11:37We soon shan't be needing you at all.
11:41Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:43Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
12:15Psst, psst.
12:18Psst.
12:20Oh, what do you want?
12:22Black power.
12:25Black power?
12:27Shh, yeah.
12:28Black power.
12:30Sidney, it's your black militants, innit?
12:33He's one of those.
12:35Well, I suppose they have them all colours, don't they?
12:37He's in which the only Carmichael he is.
12:40Because they're infiltrating themselves into all the key positions of power.
12:44And he's...
12:46after your job.
12:48You what?
12:49You're pulling my leg.
12:51Try saying Stokely Carmichael to him.
12:55Stokely Carmichael?
12:57Oh, all right then, Stokely.
13:10A little bit more over here, Sidney, a bit more over here, Tom.
13:12Eh?
13:13Come on, a bit over here, that's the way.
13:14Come on, come on, come on.
13:15Oh, yes, that's doing very well, how are you doing very well?
13:18Uh, Sidney.
13:20Yeah?
13:21Uh, Sidney.
13:22Eh?
13:26Sidney, what does the name Ian Carmichael mean to you?
13:33Ian Carmichael?
13:35The actor fella, you mean?
13:37Uh, yes.
13:38Yeah, yeah.
13:39Ah, yeah, he's all right, I like him, yeah.
13:41Ah, so you admitted, eh?
13:43Hmm?
13:45I don't get you, Mr. Potter.
13:46You stand for all those sort of things he stands for, eh?
13:48I mean, the overthrow of the new jar and all that, eh?
13:53Ian Carmichael?
13:54Hmm?
13:55Well, I never knew that.
13:56Cool, you live and learn, eh?
13:57Like that Vanessa Redgrave?
13:59Is she one, I know?
14:02Oh, yeah, rebel and that, you know, like you said,
14:04thrown over the conventions.
14:06She's not black, is she?
14:08Who?
14:09Vanessa what, then?
14:10No, more sort of red, really.
14:12Red?
14:13Yeah, lovely red hair she's got.
14:15Oh, fancy her rotten.
14:16Bit on the tall side, though, you know.
14:18Yeah, but this Ian Carmichael bloke is.
14:21He's what?
14:22Tall?
14:23Oh, black.
14:26Don't you think we've got our wires crossed somewhere, Mr. Potter?
14:30Oi, Mush.
14:31Hello, Dave.
14:33Two dead barge, lift dead beard.
14:34Oh, not another one.
14:36Hey, listen, you know you mended Morris' car last week?
14:38Yeah.
14:39Well, none of your black looks.
14:41Shut up, Dave, you're embarrassing the government.
14:43Oh, I'm sorry, Norman.
14:44Well, listen, I'm having a spot of trouble with my car.
14:46I ain't surprised the way you drive it, mate.
14:47What is it?
14:48Too noisy?
14:50Er, no, not noisy enough.
14:51Oh, I getcha.
14:53It's a merc, innit?
14:54Yeah.
14:54Yeah, nice jobs, those.
14:55All right, I'll fix it.
14:56Ah.
14:56Yes, they've been a nice jobs, those MGs, David.
14:59You know, I spend the time about tinkering around with them, you know.
15:02Tappets was my speciality, you know.
15:04Oh, I know.
15:05I've tinkered with Monty's, you know.
15:09Well, you've been a punts over, then.
15:11Well, I do say I could fit it in, don't you?
15:16Oh, not you, Norman.
15:17That no offence meant, but I mean, er...
15:19Yeah, well, what do you mean?
15:21Well, I don't know anything about cars, either, Norman.
15:23I have an oily thumb, you know.
15:25Oh, yes, I've forgotten more about cars than some people ever learned, lad.
15:29Sydney.
15:30Yeah, where is it, then?
15:31Well, it's out by the bike sheds.
15:32You can't miss it.
15:33There's a bird net repairing her make-up, OK?
15:35Just kick her out if she's in the way.
15:36Cheers.
15:38Yep.
15:39Well, I'll see you, David.
15:40I'll overlook the job, personally.
15:42Don't worry about it, son.
15:44Er.
15:46Having top all?
15:48Eh?
15:48No, of course not.
15:49Well, I think before we have a look at David's car,
15:52you'd better let me help you with that, son.
15:54Come on, give us a sec.
15:55It's quite simple, you know.
15:56It's just simply cut and pull.
15:58You get the idea?
15:59Oh.
15:59Now, then, see?
16:01Now, I cut, you pull.
16:02Right, now, when I say go, go.
16:05Are you ready?
16:05Go.
16:06Oh, God!
16:09And I am told that in flagrant disregard of my strict orders,
16:14as regards S-E-X, you, um...
16:17I did what?
16:18Do you deny that yesterday you took your class to the cinema?
16:22No.
16:23No, I don't deny it.
16:24Well done, my boy.
16:25Spoken like a man.
16:26We'll say no more about it.
16:28I'm sure, Doris, he's learnt his lesson.
16:30Furthermore, the title of this entertainment
16:33was The Sins of Sexy Susan.
16:35In fact, Doris, it wasn't.
16:36It was Romeo and Juliet.
16:37Oh, we're doing the play,
16:38so the Zeffirelli film's an obvious plus.
16:41We're going to see The Sins of Sexy Susan tomorrow.
16:43What?
16:44Ah, no, ex-edificate, isn't it?
16:46It's a pity, you know, they'd have liked that.
16:48Unlike the headmaster,
16:49I'm not altogether against sex education,
16:52but I find your attitude both flippant and unsuitable.
16:55I must absolutely insist...
16:56Mmm, mmm, mmm.
16:57What is it?
16:58What?
17:00What?
17:00Oh, that perfume.
17:01Doris, you are shameless.
17:03It's taking an unfair advantage.
17:05Oh, that'd be ridiculous.
17:06Well, I must away.
17:07Thank you, Morris.
17:08Very helpful.
17:10Delilah.
17:18Oh, yes.
17:19Yes, it is.
17:20Very nice.
17:22What do you call it?
17:24Being personal.
17:31You all right, sir?
17:33Yes, thanks, Mr Potter.
17:34Everything under control, sir?
17:35Yeah, I think so.
17:36Radiator trouble again, eh?
17:37Yeah, it's not circulating properly.
17:39Yeah, it could be the water.
17:41Oh, yeah, it could be.
17:42Yeah, it's not circulating properly, yes.
17:45Anything else?
17:46Have you checked the grommet ratio?
17:49The what?
17:50No, I thought not, you see.
17:52I thought grommet ratio, not checked, see.
17:57Well, I don't know.
17:57I think we'd better let this one go, you know.
18:00It's really a council job, lad.
18:01I'll tell you what, I'll get off the town hall.
18:03Hang on, hang on.
18:03I've finished.
18:04It's only blocked up.
18:05That's all.
18:05Are you supervising, Potter?
18:07Oh, yes.
18:08Just keeping an eye on young Sid, you know.
18:09Oh, yes.
18:10All these kids, you know.
18:11Well, I've just been explaining to him
18:13this is really a job for a specialist, you know.
18:15I mean, even I, even I wouldn't tackle a job like that, you know.
18:18Oh, what?
18:18Sidney seems to be managing all right.
18:21After my diagnosis, yes.
18:23Yes, it's blocked, you see.
18:25Yeah, Mr. Potter.
18:26I was wrong.
18:27It's not blocked after all.
18:28Hang on.
18:29I'll see if I can reduce the pressure.
18:31Yes, well, see what it is.
18:33Sidney is now going to reduce the pressure, huh?
18:37So that the pressure is, um...
18:41Reduced?
18:42Well, look, son, you're not doing any good like that.
18:44Come on, get out of the way.
18:45Let me do it for you, son.
18:46Ah, then.
18:47It's quite simple.
18:48You have it a few times, lad, in here, there, you see.
18:50Ah, there we go.
18:51No, don't touch that.
18:52No, no.
18:53Don't touch that.
18:53It's all right.
18:57I shouldn't give Sidney too many helping hands.
19:00Potter, you're running a bit short of it.
19:04But, Doris, it's not as though I was going on about this sex education thing just to be awkward.
19:08No, I know.
19:09I'll talk to him.
19:10Well, you will.
19:12Next week sometime.
19:13I'll have to catch him at the right moment, of course.
19:16Do you know, Doris, like all real women, you're full of surprises.
19:21Doris, you're a little cracker.
19:24Oh, sorry.
19:25I'll go out and come in again.
19:28Don't worry.
19:29Your secret is safe with me, Miss Yule.
19:31Mr. Fitchett Brown and I were just having a bit of snap and tickle.
19:36Well, you two are impossible.
19:41Here, down your bank and Dave goes like a bomb now.
19:43Oh, great, Sid.
19:44Now, listen, what can I do for you, eh?
19:46Anything I have is yours.
19:48Anything?
19:49Anything.
19:49Ah, well, almost anything.
19:51Anything, in fact, except money, my car, or the bird you just kicked out of it.
19:55Ah, well, that don't leave much, does it?
19:57Ah, knowing you, you'll think of something.
19:58Here.
19:59I want your opinion, Dave.
20:00This is serious.
20:00Hmm?
20:01See, it's, uh, it's old Potter.
20:03I don't want to hurt the old fella's feelings, you know, but this job's a doddle, you know.
20:07I like it cushy sometimes, who don't, but I mean, this is ridiculous.
20:10I go around making bloody work.
20:12Oh.
20:13You mean, uh, you want to quit?
20:14Yeah.
20:15I want out.
20:16But he's so touchy, you know what I mean?
20:18Look, I mean, if I go to him, Dave, and say, look, I don't want to stay, oh, he's going
20:22to take it dead personal, ain't he?
20:23Sidney, your consideration does you credit.
20:26Don't get sarky.
20:27No, but listen, if you just go to Norman and tell him man to man that you want to leave,
20:31I have a kind of sneaking suspicion that he won't put many obstacles in your way.
20:35You sure?
20:36Positive.
20:37Yeah.
20:38Well, I'll go and tell him now, ain't he?
20:41Then I can go and see the black and white minstrels tonight with a clear conscience.
20:47Well, I know he's not a bad lad.
20:51I know he's not a bad lad, Ruby, but, you see, for some strange reason, the staff seem to think
20:55he's more efficient than me.
20:57Well, well, I know he's got to go, but I can't give him the sack.
21:01Now, listen, listen, listen.
21:03I'm disempowered in that sphere, you see, dear.
21:07Hmm?
21:07Yes, well, I'll tell you what I'll do, Ruby.
21:09I'll try and persuade him, you see, that his future lies elsewhere.
21:12And I don't have to tell you, my little dove, how persuasive your Norman can be.
21:17What?
21:17Oh, that'll be him, dear.
21:18I'll have to ring him now.
21:20In top.
21:22Oh, come in, Sid.
21:23Yes, I expected you to wonder why I sent for you, didn't you, lads?
21:25To dance, to dance, to dance, to dance, to dance, to dance.
21:26I wanted to have a word with you, too, Mr. Potter.
21:28See, it's about this other job.
21:29You see, Sid, no, it's your future, lad.
21:31You see, a young lad like you, with me behind you, teaching you all I know of.
21:35Well, you see, you could be in my shoes, lad, in 20, 25 years' time.
21:3925 years?
21:40Yes, I mean it.
21:41You see, it's not that your work is exactly, you know, out of hand, but there was that bit of
21:46trouble all the while, I said.
21:47I said, you know, but we won't rake up the parts.
21:48No, you see, put it this way, Sid.
21:50Perhaps you're sort of a square peg in a round hole, you see.
21:53Are you saying you want me to leave?
21:55I don't want you to leave, lad, no.
21:59And I reckon your 25 years is a bit over the top, mate.
22:02I reckon I could step into your shoes a bit sooner than that, more like 25 minutes.
22:0525 minutes? Look, I stood up for you. I said he's got nothing to do with the income, Michael Aspen.
22:10I kept telling them that, you know.
22:12Yes, it's a nice little number, this, eh?
22:15Oh, yes. Dead cushy.
22:19So, it's a pity, in a way, I've taken this other job.
22:21Sid, look, son, you see, you've got to take the long-term view... What?
22:26Ah, yeah, I start next week or next Monday. I told them I wouldn't let you down.
22:30Oh, I don't think you should waste time, lad. Not that I want you to go, you know.
22:35Oh, I can see that. Yeah, well, I was in a bit of hurry, so perhaps I could...
22:38Of course, exactly, yes. Well, I mean, you start next week if you want to, son, or Monday if you
22:42prefer, you know.
22:43I'll start now, if you like.
22:44Well, you're doing the right thing there, lad. Not that I want you to go, of course, you know.
22:48Well, I mean, you're a lad after my own heart, you see.
22:51Oh, yes, I mean, you must strike while the iron's wet, that's what I always say.
22:55Yes, well, goodbye to you then, son. Goodbye.
22:56Oh, yeah.
22:58Ta-ra, Mr Potter.
22:59Ta-ra, son. Take care.
23:02Ta-ra.
23:04Oh, George, that was a close shave.
23:07Whew, like the one that missed me at Benghazi.
23:11Oh, George, they were whistling round that night, I'll never forget it.
23:14Right, left and centre, they were.
23:18Hello? Oh, council officers. Area supervisor, please.
23:22Er, no, I don't. As a matter of fact, it's an Irish name.
23:26Er, O something.
23:28Er, oh, hang on a minute, I believe I've got it here. Er, yes. Oh, Dinger. Yes.
23:36Hello? Mr Odinger? Oh, it's Potter here. Fence Street School.
23:40Yeah, well, it's about that young assistant of mine, Noakes, who's just left, you know.
23:43Er, oh, no. Oh, no, no, it wasn't that he wasn't willing, you know, but, er, they're not the brightest
23:49people in the world, are they?
23:52Well, I mean, you and I know that, Mr Odinger, don't we, eh?
23:55It's not that I've got anything against them, of course, but...
23:59Mr Odinger, you what?
24:01Do you?
24:03Tanzania?
24:06Oh, no, I couldn't have told from the voice, Mr Odinger, no.
24:10Mr Odinger, have you ever heard that funny little old saying,
24:14that there's no-one like a Tanzanian that can take a joke against himself?
24:19Oh, well, be like that.
24:22APPLAUSE
24:44APPLAUSE
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