- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:18Jimmy, Jimmy, I've detected aliens with your new telescope.
00:22They're gross and bloated with horrible swaying tentacles.
00:26Sheen, you've got the telescope pointed at Carl's mole.
00:28It's not a mole, it's a beauty mark.
00:32I'm putting cream on it.
00:34Wow, the universe is so vast and intricate.
00:39I'm bored.
00:41Hmm, Libs, keep an eye on Mars for me.
00:43It's been acting weird all night.
00:45Is that... oh, the amino acid?
00:48Girl, you brought us here just so you could flirt with Jimmy.
00:51Did not!
00:52I'm here because Jimmy values my scientific input.
00:56Why don't those two just get a lab?
00:59Hey, Neutron, have you checked out Mars?
01:03Huh?
01:04Mars is old news.
01:05I'm spotting comets.
01:09But it's been showing huge fluctuations in brightness.
01:13Definitely worth a good long look.
01:16What's that bewitching scent?
01:18You mean my perfume?
01:19I just splash this on when I don't care what I smell like.
01:22Hmm.
01:24I mean, look, a comet!
01:25Ah!
01:27You do this every time.
01:30You invite me someplace and then you ignore my contributions.
01:33Can't talk.
01:34Taking star pictures.
01:35Ah!
01:35When a colleague suggests that you look at Mars, it's polite to look at Mars!
01:47There!
01:48See?
01:49Pretty!
02:00I told you Mars was acting weird.
02:02Good thing the scope was taking pictures.
02:05Goddard, download images.
02:12Holy Heisenberg!
02:13Look at the size of that flare!
02:15Check it out, everybody!
02:16It's New Year's on Mars!
02:17Happy Mars and New Year!
02:19Mwah!
02:20Ew!
02:21At least I won't be alone again like last year.
02:24It's not New Year's, you dipstick.
02:26It's some kind of energy beam firing out into space.
02:29And not just any energy.
02:30Hydro-quantum energy!
02:32Hydro-quantum?
02:33I read about that stuff.
02:34You could power an entire city with just one ice cube.
02:37Or the world with just one flush of the toilet.
02:39To Mars!
02:41Sorry.
02:42Am I getting ahead of everyone?
02:43Of course, if I did go to Mars and tap into the Hydro-quantum,
02:46I could shatter every known boundary of science.
02:49Excuse me!
02:50Anyone else notice the Earth shaking?
03:02It's a space invasion!
03:04There's only one hope!
03:05We must appease them!
03:07Oh, great alien masters!
03:09We worship you!
03:10Please destroy someone else!
03:12May I suggest the French?
03:14Attention, Interlopers!
03:16Prepare to be stopped!
03:17That's no alien!
03:19Excuse me!
03:20This is a private party!
03:26Is that who I think it is?
03:28How delicious!
03:36Hello, Neutron!
03:38It's the spoiled rich kid who has an in for Jimmy!
03:41You sis Stritch!
03:42I thought you were grounded for life!
03:44Yes, well, my daddy's wheel is easily manipulated.
03:47So, Jimmy, did you forget that I'd sworn everlasting vengeance against you?
03:51Hmph, it sort of slipped my mind because I have a life, you loser!
03:55Don't get saucy with me!
03:56You're on Stritch property!
03:58State your business!
03:59Don't do it, Jimmy!
04:00Don't tell him about the limitless power source you found on Mars!
04:03And we're not going there to get the limitless power source if that's what you're thinking, you...
04:07Mars!
04:10Sorry, I just get excited!
04:12Neutron, old bean, you're keeping secrets!
04:15That's not at all polite!
04:16Blix!
04:17Capture mode!
04:18Jawohl, Herr Stritch!
04:19Think I'll take this mob of yours back to my lab for a good mind-shifting!
04:43Let's get those that way again!
04:45That was so insane!
04:58Oh, the pain!
05:06Too bad, old bean.
05:07Hope your killer tripod was insured.
05:10Ta-da!
05:10You won't escape, Neutron!
05:12My undying hatred shall pursue you without rest!
05:16But first, I think I'll slip into unconsciousness.
05:35Most netzing, Gruberka?
05:37Danke!
05:40Good job, Goddard.
05:41We should be ready to leave in about three days.
05:43Okay, Neutron.
05:44We're here for our mission briefing.
05:47Cindy?
05:48What did you do to your face?
05:50Oh, just some radiation-proof lip gloss and eyeliner.
05:53Deep space is rough on a girl's skin, you know.
06:00I don't know.
06:01I mean, it doesn't matter.
06:03You're not coming.
06:03What?
06:04But you're taking Carl and Sheen, and all they do is sit around eating schnitzengruber.
06:08Soy-based, low-carb schnitzengruber.
06:11Yeah, this guy was giving out free samples.
06:13We even got complimentary schnitzengruber farks.
06:17It's so light, I don't even have to loosen my new stretch pants.
06:21Well, Sheen and Carl won't distract me.
06:24I mean, not that you distract me.
06:25Why would you distract me?
06:26That would be silly.
06:27Look, Neutron.
06:28I discovered that flare.
06:30I put on space makeup, and I'm coming to Mars.
06:32Clear!
06:33Fine.
06:33Whatever.
06:34Just...
06:35Just stay out of my way.
06:37Do you think he likes my lip gloss?
06:39You are ill, girl.
06:40Well, if you have to come along, then here's the deal.
06:45Here's Mars, just as the flare erupted.
06:47You can see the energy source located right here.
06:56I knew those chuckle-headed plebeians couldn't pass up free schnitzengruber.
07:00That is because I make them mid-love.
07:03I want the tripod repaired and modified in three days.
07:06When Neutron arrives on Mars, he's going to find a little surprise waiting for him.
07:18Oh, no! I forgot my inhaler!
07:21Carl, we're already here!
07:23Ready for landing sequence.
07:24Do you like my new flight suit, Libby?
07:26It's perfect for resisting the strong Martian winds.
07:30Whatever.
07:32Huh?
07:33You think I've been staring at you the whole trip?
07:35Well, I haven't.
07:36What? No one asked you to!
07:37Well, fine!
07:38Stop annoying me!
07:39What?
07:40You rude little twerp!
07:41I'll knock you all over the asteroid belt!
07:45What's going on?
07:51We've been hit by proton blasts!
07:54Systems are offline!
07:57You're dead in space.
07:59Who's doing this?
08:01I'm guessing it's that guy.
08:04No!
08:05It can't be!
08:08Hello again, Jimmy!
08:10What do you want, Stritch?
08:12Do you have a spare inhaler?
08:14I know all about the energy source, James, and I intend to make its power my own!
08:19Hydro-quantum energy will make me the most powerful eleven-year-old in the solar system!
08:24I shall rule the red planet as the first king of Mars!
08:31Eustace, as your mortal enemy, let me just say, get some therapy!
08:36Blix, blow them out of space!
08:38Launching torpedoes in ten.
08:40Neinen.
08:41Eaten.
08:45I can charge one bank of disruptors, but there's no way to aim while we're drifting like this!
08:52Drei, zwei, eins, two!
08:56Drei, zwei, eins, three!
09:02This might be it, guys!
09:17Caught ya!
09:20Now, reload!
09:22Reload!
09:30Yeah!
09:31Whoo-hoo-hoo!
09:33Booyah!
09:34He'll have to ditch on the surface.
09:36Good thing you brought me along, Neutron.
09:38My airlock maneuver totally rocked!
09:42It also sent us spiraling down towards the surface!
09:45Oops.
09:53Can't stop our forward momentum!
09:55Power cells aren't responding!
09:57Oh, oh, Jimmy!
09:58Can I say brace for impact?
09:59Sure!
10:00Eh, on second thought, let's just all scream.
10:12This is it!
10:13We're about to be turned into chunky salsa!
10:16If I could just squeeze one last charge out of the batteries!
10:24Yuck!
10:25We made it!
10:26Yeah!
10:27Welcome to Mars, guys!
10:29Is it true that Mars has canals filled with creamy nougat?
10:32That's just a myth, but watch for the billowing forests of string cheese!
10:37That was our last drop of power from the main reactor.
10:40Well, we came here to find an unlimited power source.
10:42Maybe we can use it to get home.
10:44Just how far are we from this hydro-quantum energy thingy?
10:47Well, if Goddard's batteries hold out, we should be there in about 18 hours.
10:53Come on, everybody!
10:55There was a Marsha made of goo and Ringo was his name-o!
10:59R-I-N-G-O!
11:01R-I-N-G-O!
11:03R-I-N-G-O!
11:05Oh, dash it all, Blix!
11:07This map makes no sense!
11:08Impossible, mein Herr!
11:09That's a spy picture we took of Jimmy's own map!
11:12You see?
11:13We are here!
11:14Next to this pink, meaty, rock formation!
11:16That's not a rock formation!
11:18It's a piece of schnitzengruber!
11:20Those two nitwits must have squished it against the camera lens!
11:23Owie!
11:25Ow!
11:25Owie, mein Herr!
11:27Owie!
11:28Neutron has the real map.
11:30We've got to track him down, Blix.
11:31Only by beating him to the energy source can I become the boy king of Mars!
11:40The race is on!
11:51E-R-K-O-N-Ringo was his name-o!
11:56We can camp here tonight, guys.
12:03According to my map, the power source is located just beyond this dry seabed.
12:07Shouldn't we keep moving, Jimmy?
12:09If we've gotten this far, maybe Eustace has too.
12:12Wow, Cindy.
12:14Under these moons, you look almost... kind of...
12:19What?
12:20I wasn't gazing at Cindy under the moonlight.
12:22I was working when she interrupted.
12:25Interrupted?
12:26Who wants squeeze him?
12:27You dork!
12:28I'm the reason we're on this mission!
12:30You're also the reason we almost crashed!
12:32That's it!
12:33I make one mistake and you have to rub it in!
12:35Well, I've had it with you!
12:37Cindy, where are you going?
12:38Who cares?
12:39Apparently I'm not wanted around here.
12:40Well, Cindy, wait!
12:42I didn't mean it that way!
12:43Can I have her squeeze ham?
12:47That fudge-headed dork never did appreciate me.
12:50I'd love to show him what I really think of him.
12:52Ah!
12:53Ah!
12:54Put me down!
12:55I'm warning you!
12:56I don't call me!
12:57Ah!
12:58Ah!
13:00You know, it isn't safe for a girl to wander around Mars alone.
13:04I'll wander wherever I want, Brie Breath!
13:07Had another falling out with Neutron.
13:09He can be such a ninny hammer.
13:11What do you care?
13:12Think I forgot how you tricked me the first time we met?
13:15Ah, Cynthia.
13:16I was young and foolish then.
13:19I now realize how resourceful and talented you really are.
13:23We make quite the team, you and I.
13:25The only thing we have in common is we both think Neutron's a jerk.
13:28So, um, tell me more about me being talented.
13:32Oh, we are so the perfect match, Cynthia.
13:35Help me get Neutron's Mars map, and you'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams!
13:39You think I'd betray my friends that easily?
13:41Our alliance would make Neutron insanely jealous.
13:46I'm in!
13:46But no one gets hurt, right?
13:48You have my word.
13:55Wake up, Jimmy.
13:58I think I finally found a way to make you notice me.
14:01Huh?
14:02Cindy, what are you talking about?
14:04My bad luck, Johns!
14:07Pretty sweet, huh?
14:08Some guys just know how to treat a lady.
14:13Good morning, James.
14:15Have you met my new associate?
14:19Cindy, how could you?
14:21I have some apmine here.
14:24Hey, give that back!
14:26Aha!
14:26The energy source is just beyond this seabed.
14:29We can be there in minutes.
14:31Cindy, why?
14:33Because Eustace appreciates me,
14:35and because he's gonna make me stinking rich!
14:37Ah!
14:41Oh, yes, Cindy.
14:43About the, um, rich business.
14:44Ah!
14:46I share my wealth with no one!
14:49Ta-ta!
14:50Losers!
14:51You think!
14:53I can't believe I let you betray me again!
14:55Cindy, what were you thinking?
14:57Some friend you are!
14:59Sacuse!
15:01But...
15:01Well, I...
15:03It's all your fault!
15:04What?
15:05Oh, don't act dumb!
15:06At least Eustace treated me like an equal!
15:08You act like I don't even exist!
15:10You are so clueless, Vortex!
15:12Of course I know you exist!
15:14That's why I pretend to ignore you!
15:16Oh!
15:18Pretend?
15:18You mean you've been acting like a complete dweeb because...
15:21He likes you!
15:23He thinks you're fine!
15:24I do not!
15:25I just think you're pretty smart and...
15:28and smell nice and...
15:30and you kind of distract me...
15:32sometimes.
15:33Wow, Jimmy!
15:34Thanks!
15:35You're welcome!
15:36Hopefully the next time this happens,
15:38you won't betray us to our enemies!
15:42Whoa!
15:43What do we do now?
15:45Stretch Drain got his batteries!
15:47There's no way we can beat him to the energy source now!
16:07This wind is as cold and icy as Cindy's soul!
16:10The wind?
16:11Wait a minute!
16:12Carl!
16:13You're wearing stretch pants, right?
16:15First you sell us out, then you mock my pants!
16:18Why, Cindy?
16:20Why?!
16:20No, wait!
16:21She's right!
16:22Carl!
16:22Pants off!
16:23Now!
16:27Your stretch pants make a pretty good wind sail, Carl!
16:31Thanks!
16:31It's a good thing my underwear was clean!
16:39There it is, Blix!
16:40My ticket to ultimate power in the solar system!
16:43No!
16:45It can't be!
16:46Pull ahead, Blix!
16:48We've got to reach that pyramid before Neutron does!
16:55We need more speed!
16:56Give me the ladder!
17:12No, no, you don't!
17:16Yes!
17:21Too late, Neutron!
17:22My power siphon is charmed and ready for battle!
17:25So is mine, Stritch!
17:29Get him, Jimmy!
17:30Yeah!
17:31Whip his pepper, rich boy hiding!
17:33The power sauce is mine, Neutron!
17:35No, it's not!
17:37It's mine!
17:42Actually, you're both wrong!
17:43It's ours!
17:48Martians!
17:49Cool!
17:50Can I get an autograph?
17:50Humans!
17:52From the third planet!
17:53They are starting to become real pests!
17:56Incredible!
17:57A rock-based silicone form of life!
17:59But I thought Mars was dead!
18:02Dead?
18:02Now they're just being insulting!
18:04Mars isn't dead!
18:05For centuries our people have slept below the surface!
18:08But you Earth people keep waking us up with the rockets and your probing things with the...
18:13Don't get me started!
18:15We could destroy Earth with one burst of hydro-quantum energy!
18:18Destroy Earth?
18:19But...
18:20But you can't!
18:27Can't move!
18:28We're stuck!
18:30Activate control panel!
18:38Target the Earth!
18:42You should prepare to fire!
18:46This is your fault, Neutron!
18:48I could've prepared for this if it wasn't for you!
18:50Knock it off!
18:51If we're gonna save Earth, you two prima donnas better work together!
18:55She's right, Stritch.
18:56How about it?
18:57Are you willing to join forces?
18:59Never!
19:01Well, maybe just this once!
19:10Cindy, distract the Martians!
19:12Eustace, you're with me!
19:14Prepare to fire already!
19:16All hail the Martians!
19:20All hail the Martians!
19:22All hail the Martians!
19:24All hail the Martians!
19:24All hail the Martians!
19:24Look!
19:25They're worshipping us!
19:26Well, we are pretty awesome!
19:32And of course, no form of worship would be complete without interpretive dance!
19:50Blast you, Neutron!
19:51Hurry!
19:52Shall we crush them?
19:53You crush them?
19:54I'll destroy her!
19:57Ah!
20:02Ah!
20:04Ah!
20:05Ah!
20:05Eustace!
20:05Rerall the circuit and press the blue button!
20:08But-but I usually have people who do that for me!
20:11Ah!
20:12Ah!
20:14Eustace!
20:15Ah!
20:16Ah!
20:17Oh dear!
20:17Oh dear!
20:30What madness is this?
20:31What?
20:32What?
20:32Ah!
20:33What did I do?
20:34What did I do?
20:35You re-atomized the hydro-quantum beam, turning it back into simple water!
20:39Undispersing it into the atmosphere!
20:45Ah!
20:47Water!
20:47Ah!
20:49Water!
20:50Water!
20:51They're afraid of common rainwater, which is why they drain their lakes and oceans!
20:56Ow!
20:57Ow!
20:57Make it stop!
20:58Ow!
20:58Ow!
20:59Make it stop!
21:00Well, I could reverse the effect, or I could make it pour for a month!
21:04Ow!
21:05Ow!
21:07Ow!
21:08We surrender!
21:09Just reverse what you've done and go!
21:11We'll also need a small sample of your energy source so we can get home!
21:15So take it already!
21:17Guys, let's get home!
21:19About time!
21:20Mars bites!
21:24I still can't believe it!
21:26Eustace Stritch actually helped us save the Earth!
21:29Well, it is where I keep all my stuff!
21:32I can't believe Jimmy admitted he likes Cindy!
21:35I said she distracts me!
21:36There's a difference!
21:37Sure there is!
21:38Guys, can I have my pants back?
21:51Yeah!
21:52I'm gonna put him back!
21:53I'm gonna look at you!
21:54I'll go!
21:57I know!
22:02I know!
22:04I know!
22:14I know!
22:24Hi, I'm Paul.
22:27Got a blast.