- 2 days ago
Captain Binghamton angers the local native islanders after forbidding fraternization between them and naval personnel. He must then make amends to save his reputation and career when he discovers a high-ranking official, the Under Secretary of the Navy, is visiting the island specifically to meet with the local chief.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Go, Hack! Go, Hack!
00:25Uh-oh. What a time for him to show up.
00:27It's Captain Biggerton!
00:30Bring him! Condition round! Condition round!
00:43Faster, Parker!
00:44Uh, ten, ten, ten, ten, ten.
00:46Shun! You go, take your hands off me!
00:48What's the matter? You're bending my shoulder board!
00:50Stop that! Gat! Shoo! Go off! Gaskat! Gat!
00:53It's a safe round here!
00:57Where is that, McHale? Where, where, where?
00:59Captain? Welcome aboard!
01:01Oh, welcome aboard, he says.
01:03Now, don't tell me what this is, McHale. Let me guess.
01:06I'll bet this is the Polynesian Road Company of Tobacco Road.
01:10Ah, Tobacco Road.
01:12Well, the boys are a little bit sloppy.
01:14Yes, sir.
01:15Come on. Straighten up there, fellas.
01:16Come on straight.
01:17Oh, play that, McHale.
01:18Oh?
01:19Oh, I certainly hope that you've had a 21-gun fling here today.
01:22Yes, sir.
01:23Because you've seen the last grass skirt that you're going to see.
01:26Oh?
01:27Oh?
01:28As of 1430 hours, the former activities here on Orgy Island will be no more.
01:34I'm placing the native village off-limits out of bounds, Verboten.
01:38Oh, now, wait a minute, Captain. You can't do that.
01:40Why, why, these natives depend on the base for their income.
01:43And you put their village off-limits and, well, it'll just ruin their economy, sir.
01:47Then we'll be even.
01:49I've made a shambles of my discipline.
01:51Now, you tell Chief what's-his-name here.
01:53Watara.
01:55Yes, tell Chief what's-his-name what my orders are.
01:58And you tell him they'd stand until he learns to run a tot village.
02:02You wanna tell him?
02:03Ah, Mati, ah, Nguna, Ubi'ai.
02:06In Kuna, Iwasai, I, Kunsan.
02:10Ni mu korama na apuri!
02:13.
02:15Take, bo太ibai.
02:18Eui-geo, vẫn avere...?
02:21Yeah.
02:22Mutare!
02:23Vai-ha-ha!
02:24Guldare!
02:25Oh, war-ha!
03:27Oh? Who's that?
03:30Thomas J. Pettibone.
03:32The Undersecretary of the Navy?
03:34Exactly.
03:35He's flying in here from Simbu Island to inspect this base, including...
03:39May John Paul Jones preserve me, the 73 and its crew.
03:45Miguel, you foul me up with the secretary and so help me, I will recommend to him personally that he split this crew.
03:53Now he's in a position to grant such a request, wouldn't you say?
03:57Uh, well, uh...
03:59Well, I beg your pardon, sir, but according to naval regulations, uh, any request for a transfer would have to go through proper channels.
04:05Now, let's see, that would probably have...
04:06Hanson!
04:06Why don't you light a match and go and check the gas pumps?
04:12Oh, Skip, do you have any matches? He wants me to go check the gas pumps.
04:16Now I'll hear this, McHale.
04:18Well, if you and this bunch of aborigines here don't measure up, not only will I recommend that you be split, but I will recommend that you be sent so far north that the next time you pull a snow job, you can use real snow.
04:32Do you read me?
04:33Like a weather bulletin, sir.
04:35Cut that out.
04:36Now, the next time I see this bunch of so-called sailors, the uniform of the day will be dress whites and cover that up. That's disgusting.
04:50Yeah, bye-bye, Captain.
04:51Bye.
04:55Well, you heard him, boys. We got no choice. We gotta stand inspection on Saturday.
05:00Boy, that's great. We might as well be stationed over there with Binghamton on Devil's Island.
05:04Look, there's gotta be a way out of this.
05:05Wait a minute. Stop dreaming, you eight balls. We got work to do.
05:11What do you order, Skip?
05:12Well, the first thing is we gotta see that every man here has got a clean white uniform.
05:15Verge, Tinker, gather up all the dirty laundry on the island and take her over to the village.
05:19Okay, you got it.
05:20All right, Chuck, you're in charge of the laundry detail. Get moving.
05:22All right, Skip.
05:23Oh, Skip, aren't you forgetting the village is off limits? Boy, Binghamton finds out we're in trouble.
05:27Yeah, and we'll be in bigger trouble if we show up at the inspection for the Undersecretary of the Navy like this.
05:32Huh?
05:33Get moving.
05:34And the rest of you coconut pickers, grab swabs and buckets.
05:39We're joining the Navy. Let's go.
05:49All right, man, hurry up with that laundry. Tell them it's a rush job.
05:56Hey, Tink. What a shame the Skip's in such a hurry with. These poor gals are missing, huh?
06:05Yeah, it's downright cruel to deprive them.
06:08Hi, baby. Woo! Woo!
06:11Hey, Virg. I just figured out how we can keep Mr. Parker occupied so as we can get occupied.
06:20Why don't we fix him up with Little Flower? They never met. Can you imagine?
06:25You like him, Big Chief, Mr. Parker?
06:34Hot dog.
06:35Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker, he liked you very much. He very shy.
06:39Calaruni is shy.
06:41Shy.
06:42Oh, Calaruni.
06:44Calaruni is shy.
06:45Uh, Mr. Parker, him not married. He say, you kind of woman he liked to marry? And raise little warrior? Big warrior?
06:55Married hot dog. Hot dog, yeah.
06:57Hey, haven't you guys got this laundry done yet? Now, let's move it.
07:00Oh, yes, sir. Right away.
07:01Yes, now, what about this laundry, girls? We got an inspection tomorrow. Quickly, people, quickly.
07:05Hey, baby, you stick to me. I'm going to get you your own hut.
07:08People realize there's a war on?
07:10How? How? Native.
07:15Hi, baby.
07:18Oh, well, uh, you, um, go, um, with others, um.
07:22Yes, sir.
07:24Want them, you, um, want them.
07:29Well, uh, go away. So long. Bye.
07:34Uh, here, uh, you'll wash them up, um.
07:38Well, uh, belly high.
07:40Uh, well, uh, hey, Virgil, take her.
07:46Uh, I need an interpreter.
07:49Hey!
07:56Mr. Parker, come on back.
07:58There are sharks out there.
08:00I know it.
08:01There are sharks out there.
08:06Oh, that's right, Peter.
08:07Good morning, I'll be too late.
08:11Good morning.
08:12Good morning, guys.
08:12Good morning, Parker.
08:14He's a good man, Parker.
08:16What's up, Parker?
08:17Well, thank you.
08:18Yeah.
08:18He, Parker.
08:19What's up, Skip?
08:20Him, Parker.
08:23What's up, Skip?
08:25Your future father-in-law just dropped by to say hello.
08:27Oh, hi, Pop.
08:30Huh? Father-in-law?
08:31He says the little flower accepts your proposal.
08:34Proposal?
08:35I thought I was fast.
08:37Now, look, Skip, I didn't go near her, or I didn't touch her.
08:39You ought to tell this guy that...
08:41Now, look, Skip, wait a minute. Now, wait a minute.
08:45I can say more than two words to his daughter.
08:47Yeah, well, it must have been the wrong two words, buddy.
08:49Uh, relax, Chuck.
08:50Uh, Chief, uh, um...
08:53What's he saying, Skip? What's he saying?
09:03I insist that you're engaged.
09:05Look, Skip, I...
09:06No, no, no, no, no. I just have to ask you to go along with this, Chuck.
09:09Skip, I'm too young to get married.
09:11Chuck, easy does it, will you, boy?
09:13Now, look, the Chief is mad enough at the Navy as it is.
09:16And with the Undersecretary of the Navy coming, we can't afford to make waves.
09:21So, if you'll just relax, I promise you, I, uh, after inspection, I'll get you out of this, okay?
09:26Well, I...
09:27Okay.
09:28Chief?
09:30Uh, Parker, it's all Mickey Fowl!
09:34I'd say that we were all squared away from the Secretary's visit, wouldn't you, Carpenter?
09:50Oh, I'm sure he'll be very much impressed by what he sees, sir.
09:52A tribute to your exemplary qualities as one of the finest leaders in this...
09:55Bad news, sir?
09:58This is an alert from the commanding officer on Simbu.
10:01The Secretary is not conducting an ordinary inspection.
10:04He is conducting a survey on how to improve native-Navy relations.
10:09And guess what?
10:10Gonna visit the villages.
10:12Why should that worry you, sir?
10:13Because he can't do that.
10:14You just placed the village off-limits to the...
10:16I see what you mean, sir.
10:19Yeah, Chief, what, what, what, what's his name?
10:21He hates me, he'll have my scalp.
10:23Well, what are you going to do about this, sir?
10:25What can you do?
10:26Well, questions, questions, questions.
10:27That's all I ever get from you.
10:28A lot of questions.
10:29Couldn't I once get some answers from you?
10:31Well, sir, maybe you could speak to the Chief.
10:33Speak to the Chief?
10:34Yes.
10:35Oh, I'd have to have leaky bulkheads to speak to the Chief.
10:39We would get within spear-throwing distance of that man every time I think of him.
10:42Oh, I've got it, sir.
10:43Sir, I've got it.
10:45Wattara and Commander McHale are very buddy-buddy.
10:48Now, if you just call McHale...
10:49Send an SOS to McHale.
10:51I'd rather be strapped to a torpedo and fired away.
10:54Sir, I know how you feel about the Commander, but in a time of an emergency, don't you think that you should...
10:58Absolutely positively unthinkable asking McHale to bail me out.
11:02Why, that would be as distasteful to me as turning this base over to the Japanese.
11:06Where are you going, sir?
11:08See you, McHale.
11:08Most girls do a good job on those uniforms.
11:16Yeah, they're whiter than white, Skip.
11:17Hey, Mr. Parker, guess who was waiting for us when we pulled up at the village?
11:21I don't care to know.
11:22Your fiancée, Littleflower.
11:24She wanted to see you.
11:25She's real disappointed you didn't show up.
11:27Yeah, she even asked if we'd take her with us.
11:29Ooh, she's really gone on you, Mr. Parker.
11:32All right, all right, cut it out, you miserable cupid.
11:38Yoo-hoo!
11:41Oh, no!
11:42Hi, baby!
11:46True love knows no bounds.
11:48What do you got in, Mr. Parker?
11:49Can you spare some?
11:53Don't let her get me, Skip.
11:55Easy, Littleflower, easy.
11:57Boy, we gotta get her home.
11:59Um, that's all we need is for Bloodhound Binghamton to find her around here.
12:02I'm sorry, Littleflower, but, uh, um,
12:04Una, Kuna, uh, Murai, uh, Juava, uh, Rumbi.
12:09Malinui, malinui.
12:11Malinui, malinui, yeah.
12:12Christy Gruber, get her boy.
12:13You want to take her back to the village?
12:15Yeah, right away, man.
12:15Let's move it.
12:16Oh, if you insist, sir,
12:17but you're only asking for more trouble by sending me,
12:20I'm almost as irresistible as Mr. Parker.
12:22Come on, we're here.
12:24Skip, look, it's the captain's gig.
12:29Fuji, Fuji, come on, get lost.
12:31Come on, you guys, come on.
12:32Come on.
12:47Attention!
12:50How's your work, man?
12:52Commander McHale aboard?
12:53Uh, yes, sir.
12:54He'll be right with you, sirs, down below.
12:55Checking.
12:55One of our portboard engines have been stalling.
12:57One of our starboard engines have been porting.
12:59One of our star engines has got to...
13:01Stop it, stop it, stop it.
13:02Could I try again, sir?
13:03No.
13:04There's been enough already.
13:06There's something in the air.
13:07There is?
13:08I didn't notice anything, sir.
13:10Christy, bring me the glasses.
13:11There's something in the...
13:11She's got glasses.
13:14Ah, good afternoon, sir.
13:16Hey, something I can do for you?
13:17As a matter of fact, uh, there is, uh, Mc...
13:25She must have backed up to the starter.
13:32Stalled engines seem to be working all right now, McHale.
13:35Stalled engines!
13:37Did you say, sir?
13:38Yeah, well, I would like to know who that wild man in your engine room is.
13:42Yeah, wild man?
13:43Well, whatever do you mean, sir?
13:44Oh, hi, baby.
13:49What in the blue Pacific?
13:51Who is this?
13:52Who is she?
13:53What you doing here?
13:54What, what, what?
13:55Well, well, well, well.
13:56McHale, you stop well, well, well, well, well.
13:57We can start explaining.
13:58What are you doing?
13:59Running a floating harem?
14:01A floating harem.
14:04Hey, that's funny.
14:06Cut that out.
14:08Sir, I'd like you to meet, uh, a little flower.
14:10Little flower.
14:15She's the daughter of Chief Watarra, sir.
14:19Hi, baby.
14:20We're married, huh?
14:22Don't tell us about Mary.
14:23Who's gonna marry who?
14:24Ensign, speak up.
14:26Oh, well, sir, the little lady here has the idea we're engaged.
14:31Engaged.
14:32You mean to tell me that Parker is engaged to the Chief's daughter?
14:39Oh, well, uh, the Chief and little flower think so, but it's just a small case of misunderstanding.
14:45Better not be a misunderstanding.
14:48Huh?
14:49Huh?
14:50Oh, that's beautiful.
14:51Beautiful.
14:52Now, I don't care to hear all the lurid details, but this is beautiful.
14:56The Chief has got to be good to me now.
14:59After all, I'm a very good friend of his prospective son-in-law.
15:02Huh, Jack?
15:03Why, sir, oui, oui.
15:06There's something I'd better explain, sir.
15:08Not now, Mikhail, not now.
15:09Prepare to get underway.
15:11We're gonna visit the village.
15:13To see Dad.
15:15Mikhail, are you sure that this pompous old faker here...
15:30How are you?
15:32Hey, sure that he understands that in return for my lifting the off-limits ban from the village,
15:36he's to welcome the secretary with open arms.
15:38Yeah, he understands, sir.
15:39He understands.
15:40He does?
15:41Yeah.
15:41Oh, yeah, well, then, thank him for his cooperation.
15:44Hello there.
15:47Let's get out of this ghastly place.
15:48Yeah.
15:49Ini, insua loa.
15:52All right.
15:52Yeah.
15:53Well, uh, Skipper, I don't think I'm coming with you.
15:59Oh, you've been invited to spend the night, Chuck.
16:03Oh, boy.
16:04Oh, boy.
16:05Look, lady, Skipper, I'm a United States Naval officer.
16:08There must be some regulation.
16:09How are you?
16:10I guess they got their own kind of regulations, Chuck.
16:15Okay, well, tell the chief there's no need for violence, that Parker will stay, at least until the secretary leaves tomorrow.
16:22Tomorrow?
16:22By tomorrow, I'm liable to be married.
16:24Yes, marry, hot dog.
16:28Well, there's no worry there, Chuck.
16:29Well, the marriage ceremony is just, uh, well, the girl brings over her belongings into the man's hut, and, uh, well, the marriage can't take place for a week after the pledge.
16:37Or is that the custom in Tulagi?
16:51Buddy.
16:54Can't have the tie.
16:56It goes with the suit.
16:59Pineapple.
17:03Napa.
17:04Oh, wait a minute.
17:08Hold it.
17:10Oh, I'll be up.
17:12Ha, ha.
17:12Woo-hoo.
17:14It's okay with the feet.
17:17The feet's good.
17:19Sayonara.
17:24Oh, look.
17:25Hey, Skip.
17:36Ain't she gonna tell us how sharp we look?
17:37Well, maybe he don't think so.
17:39Skip.
17:40Huh?
17:41Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:42You all look fine, yeah.
17:44I was just listening and, uh, wondering who the chief declared war on.
17:48Are you sure they're not happy drums?
17:49Like for the forthcoming nuptials?
17:51No, no, no.
17:51These are war drums.
17:52I hope Chuck's okay.
17:55Well, I can't wait any longer.
17:56Come on, boys.
17:57Let's go to the inspector.
17:58Hey!
17:59Chuck!
18:01You almost shot!
18:02Right, right, right down, right down.
18:04Chuck, you okay?
18:05Yeah, don't worry, Skip.
18:06I'll be all right.
18:07Huh.
18:08Now I know why those war drums are beating.
18:10Chuck, what made you leave that village boy?
18:12Well, I'll tell you, Skip.
18:13I'm a man who can do his duty, right?
18:15Right.
18:15Well, I could even go above and beyond the call of duty.
18:18Yeah?
18:18But last night, I faced a fate that was even above, above and beyond.
18:22We're here, sir.
18:23What?
18:24You know what those girls did?
18:25Girls!
18:27They took my clothes.
18:28Your clothes?
18:28Your clothes?
18:30What did you do?
18:31Huh?
18:31And I've always maintained that to understand the people of a given culture, you must study
18:38the customs.
18:39Oh, that's exactly what I've always said, Mr. Secretary.
18:42And I pride myself on having done just that, sir.
18:45And as a result, our relationships with the natives, they couldn't be better.
18:49Couldn't be better!
18:50But here I am, telling you about it.
18:52No doubt you'd rather be out in the village, seeing for yourself.
18:55Yes, Captain.
18:56I look for...
18:56Oh, excuse me a minute, sir.
18:57Enter.
18:58Sir, Commander McHale is here and wishes to see you on what he says is a very important
19:02matter.
19:03I'll tell him to stand by.
19:04We'll be going out on the 73 shortly, and...
19:07Would you excuse me for just a minute, sir?
19:12I, uh...
19:13Perhaps while I'm gone, you'd like to look over an example of native handicraft?
19:17I encourage that sort of thing.
19:24What's the matter with you, McHale?
19:25Yes, you see, I'm busy.
19:27Well, I know that, sir, but I think you ought to know that Parker left the village last
19:30night.
19:31He left the village?
19:32I'll have him boiled in oil.
19:34Well, the natives might beat you to it, sir.
19:36Those drums you hear out there are war drums.
19:38War drums?
19:39Mm-hmm.
19:40McHale, you'll turn them into happy drums, because if you don't...
19:45Well, Skip, was the captain very angry?
19:54Well, now, I don't know.
19:57But he said if anything went wrong while the secretary was here, he was going to order
20:00the 73 on a one-boat invasion of Tokyo Bay.
20:07Hey, Groove, hand me my glasses, will you?
20:09Oh, that's just dandy.
20:19We're Tara and his men, and they're all dressed up in war paint.
20:23Oh, no.
20:24Battle, take this, you guys!
20:26Fire one!
20:27Woo!
20:28Wait a minute, wait a minute, will you?
20:30Hold it.
20:31You're still tied up the dock.
20:33Well, what are we going to do, Skip?
20:34What?
20:34Just play it cool, will you?
20:36Just play it cool.
20:38Get that man away from the gun.
20:47It's coming on pretty fast.
20:48All right, man.
20:48All right, all right.
20:49All right, let's go.
20:50Let's go.
20:50Let's go.
20:51Let's go.
20:51Let's go.
20:51Let's go.
20:51Let's go.
20:52Oh, easy, easy.
20:53Everything's going to be all right.
20:55All right?
20:55They're coming after me.
20:57Don't be silly, will you?
20:58The boys are just out of maneuvers, that's all.
21:00Help!
21:04Hiya, fellas.
21:05Kuna kuna!
21:09What?
21:20What?
21:20Hey, Navy!
21:21Hey, Navy!
21:22Hey, Navy!
21:23Hey!
21:24Hey!
21:24Hey!
21:25Hey!
21:26Hey, Navy!
21:26Hey!
21:26Hey, Navy!
21:27Hey!
21:28Hey!
21:28Hey!
21:29Hey!
21:29Hey!
21:29Hey!
21:30Hey, Skip, you better speed it up.
21:42Here comes more trouble.
21:44Are those natives from the village where to visit?
21:49Yes, sir.
21:50They don't seem at all friendly.
21:52In fact, they're the unfriendliest looking friendly natives I've ever seen.
21:56You know how it is with savages, sir.
21:58They look so savage.
22:00I'm calm, I'm a little bit inside.
22:06Inside, inside.
22:11Attention!
22:15Mr. Secretary, may I present Commander McHale?
22:18How do you do, sir? Welcome aboard.
22:20Thank you, Commander.
22:22The secretary was expressing some concern that the natives don't look very friendly.
22:27We can dispel that concern.
22:30Can we, Commander?
22:31Yes, sir.
22:32Yes, sir.
22:33Yes, sir.
22:34Yes, sir.
22:35Michelle, sir.
22:36I'm gonna inside, in bula, in can, eh?
22:48Parker!
22:49No, go away, Parker!
22:51No, I'm gonna inside, Parker.
22:53No, go in Mallow Parker.
22:55McHale, McHale, hurry it up. Give her anything she wants.
22:59Anyone, anybody, inside, inside, inside.
23:25Well, Binghamton, you can't ask for friendlier natives and that.
23:32No, you can't.
23:38McHale, what is this all about?
23:40What, what, what?
23:41Well, sir, congratulations, sir.
23:45You just got engaged.
23:55McHale, you always managed to come up smelling like a rose.
24:02Oh?
24:03But until then, a man could lose his propellers.
24:06Let's have it. How'd you squirm out of this one?
24:08Ah, well, uh, well, sir, I told Watarra and the girl that, uh,
24:12the reason that Parker chickened out of his wedding was because, uh,
24:15well, he realized he wasn't good enough for the royal family, sir.
24:18That's not bad. How'd you get me off the wedding hook?
24:21Ah, well, I, I told him that I, I discovered a deep, dark secret, sir.
24:26Uh, that you were, uh, really much older than you looked
24:29and, uh, I'm sure the fires had gone out a long time ago
24:32and that, uh, little girl, like, uh, a little flower,
24:36didn't have to be so desperate, uh, that that'll be all, sir.
24:39Bye-bye, Captain.
24:40Desperate.
24:44What does he mean, desperate?
24:51Aww-bye.
24:53Wha- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma…
24:56¶¶
25:26¶¶
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