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00:008, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4
00:09Come take a ride, with the weirdest guy
00:22No, it's Wednesday night, and now here to go
00:27The Chris Gethardt Show
00:29The Chris Gethardt Show
00:31Chris Gethardt Show
00:33Chris Gethardt Show
00:57Chris Gethardt Show
00:59Chris Gethardt Show
01:01Chris Gethardt Show
01:03We gratified
01:05Which We't How the?
01:07Leave Me on the hula hoops
01:08We got many, many people to come to know and love here on the panel tonight
01:12Don Finelli, Jesse Lee, Shannon O'NeΠΈΠ», we got Murph the reservoir dog
01:15We got οΏ½ ΠΏΡΠΎΠ²ΠΎΠ΄, we got Bethany Hall, we got this guy
01:18We got the human fish, as everybody knows the creature from the sea
01:21Human Fish
01:23What's on your mind?
01:27What's he thinking?
01:28Human fish, human fish, human fish, human fish.
01:35Get well soon versus get rich or die trying.
01:39Get well soon versus get rich or die trying.
01:42Human fish, who wins that battle?
01:44Get rich or die trying.
01:45I thought so.
01:46I thought so.
01:48And last but not least, making his first appearance on the panel in non-contest form.
01:53Last week he won.
01:54He is our new random, Random Andrew, ladies and gentlemen.
01:58When it's random, when it's random, when it's random, when it's random.
02:03You're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna be the new random, random Andrew.
02:08That you got your own theme song, Random Andrew.
02:11Can we call Random Andrew, Randrew?
02:14We can call him Randrew if you want. That's totally valid.
02:17You can call Random Andrew, it seems like, anything you feel like.
02:20People take great liberties.
02:22I wanted to talk to Random Andrew before we even got into the show tonight.
02:25Random Andrew, this morning I woke up, I was tweeted some links from a website called baristanet.com.
02:32Oh yeah, someone posted that on my wall.
02:34Now baristanet.com, I'm familiar with it.
02:36This is like the Gothamist of Montclair, New Jersey.
02:38And I grew up right near there.
02:40They interviewed you.
02:42You haven't even been on the show yet.
02:44But the person who runs the website, best friend's mom.
02:48Your best friend's mom interviewed you.
02:50You're getting pressed.
02:51I like that you're getting pressed, Random Andrew.
02:53But here's a couple issues I have.
02:54First of all, with you, I'm from West Orange, man.
02:58Tell baristanet, if they want an interview, come to the big dog, man.
03:03They're talking to the guy who just got the goddamn thing.
03:06Think finale, how many times have you been on this show?
03:08I don't know.
03:09I don't know.
03:10How many interviews have you had?
03:11Zero.
03:12Shannon O'Neill, Bethany Hall?
03:13A lot.
03:14None.
03:15Well, none of my friends' moms run a website, though.
03:18Well, we all need to start finding those networks.
03:20That wasn't going to happen otherwise.
03:21All right, Random Andrew.
03:23Now, I also want to say, in case anyone anti-random Andrew thinks come up, here it is.
03:27Here's your article on baristanet.
03:29You do reveal in this article that you performed in a high school production of Footloose
03:34and a musical version of Hamlet.
03:36Of Macbeth?
03:37Yeah.
03:38They said Hamlet.
03:39They did?
03:40I think so, man.
03:41Bristanet.
03:42Get your fucking fact checks together, Bristanet.
03:45I'm Noah's mom.
03:47Why is it called Bristanet?
03:48Is it about a coffee shop?
03:50There's some, like, metaphor.
03:51Like, they serve you news, like, I don't know.
03:53Whoa.
03:54Okay.
03:55Look at that headshot, man.
03:57Yeah.
03:58Wow.
03:59I didn't get into it.
04:00I have kind of a gut.
04:03My thighs tend to be a little larger than they have been.
04:07Uh...
04:08Is this because you're married?
04:09Is this what happened?
04:10I think that's what it is.
04:11I just didn't give a shit anymore.
04:12I just ate a lot of shit.
04:13Okay.
04:14I drank a lot of beer.
04:15Basically continuing on how I lived my life in college.
04:17Right.
04:18So, yeah.
04:19All right.
04:20Now, Shannon, you've already been seeing a personal trainer recently.
04:22Yeah.
04:23Do you feel like you have less of a chance to win the contest because you've already been
04:27working on your health?
04:28No, I have a better chance because I have built up so much muscle.
04:32Okay.
04:33The more muscle you have, the more you burn.
04:35Okay.
04:36I just have to stop drinking this shit every day.
04:37All right.
04:38That's fair.
04:39Rob Malone, of course, world's greatest dancer.
04:40We'll be entering the contest.
04:41Yeah.
04:42And then we also have some of our audience members.
04:46So, like, I know Random Dan.
04:49You should be on your way up.
04:51Drew, right?
04:52Our head writer, producer.
04:53Let's get up here.
04:54We'll get this out of the way quickly.
04:55Rob Malone's also wearing the best workout clothes.
04:58Rob Malone's always.
04:59He is the apex of fashion here at the Chris Gethler Show.
05:02Let's keep these going.
05:04So, Dan and Omar, I think you guys are our last two in the studio.
05:07And then we've got a few other people who aren't here tonight.
05:09So, we'll get Omar.
05:10Dan, you guys should come up.
05:11In the meantime, why don't we go to the phones?
05:13Do we have anybody on the line?
05:14Yep.
05:15Welcome to the show.
05:16How can we help you tonight?
05:17Hello?
05:18Yes.
05:19You're on the air.
05:20What's up?
05:21Hey, yeah, Chris.
05:22My name's Jack.
05:23I have, like, the story about, like, the kind of sickness that I have
05:29and so much of sickness as a condition.
05:31I have an incredibly lethal peanut allergy.
05:36I am one of those people.
05:38Peanut.
05:39Oh, you have a peanut allergy.
05:41Okay.
05:42Yeah.
05:43So, anyway, when I was a kid, I was on this flight from Florida back to Boston,
05:47and I was given a cookie by a stewardess because, you know, I'm a kid,
05:51and the natural question was, you know, does this have peanuts in it?
05:55And she said no.
05:58Well, it turns out she was a liar because it did.
06:01And, yeah, I went into this thing called...
06:05Oh, my God, he died.
06:06He died!
06:07That guy just died!
06:08Someone just put a peanut in front of his face.
06:09That guy just died on the phone.
06:10Someone gave him a peanut phone.
06:12Yeah.
06:13Started the peanut phone.
06:14He died.
06:15He's definitely going to say anaphylactic shock, right?
06:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:18And then he fucking had it.
06:19No, he's back!
06:20He's back?
06:21He's back.
06:22Epiphen.
06:23Okay, glad to use that.
06:24Yeah, I can barely hear a thing you're saying.
06:26Anyway, no.
06:27Uh...
06:28Yeah.
06:29Oh, he's back.
06:30Didn't die.
06:31Uh, but, uh, yeah, I went into this thing called anaphylactic shock.
06:34Um, I spent, uh, like, I blacked out for like an hour, and I almost died.
06:39They almost landed the, uh, plane.
06:41Like, I did an emergency landing, but it turned out there were, uh, two doctors and a chiropractor
06:46on board.
06:47Wow!
06:48So you got your back fixed.
06:50Yeah.
06:51Uh, man, I can't hear a thing you're saying.
06:54Okay.
06:55Well, hey, man, I'm glad you're alive.
06:56Thank you for the call.
06:57We'll talk to you later, and we'll try to make sure that we turn up the phones a little
07:00bit for our future calls.
07:02Before we do, we add the weight loss challenge, but there's a companion contest to this.
07:06We got some real skinny people on this panel.
07:08So, ladies and gentlemen, the companion contest, the Chris Getter Show weight gain challenge.
07:12Woo!
07:13I can tell you, you're looking too skinny.
07:15Girls pass you by, cause they think you're too wimpy.
07:18Won't you bulk up?
07:19Muscle milk up.
07:21With the Chris Getter weight gain challenge.
07:23You can do it, scrawny.
07:25You can do it, scrawny.
07:26Yes, scrawny.
07:27So, alright.
07:28Human fish, let's get on the scale.
07:29Needless to say, you are in this challenge.
07:32Human fish.
07:33Human fish is so thin, I wonder if he just eats a lot of himself.
07:36That's true.
07:37Or if he just subsides on fish flakes.
07:39A lot of fish eat their own shit.
07:41Is that cord underneath that thing?
07:44So, our participants in this will be the fish, random Andrew, and Joe from the LLC.
07:48Battling it out to see who can put on some weight by the end of the year.
07:51In the meantime, let's go back to the phones.
07:53Caller, you're on the air.
07:54Welcome to the show.
07:55How can we help you out?
07:56Hi, this is Alyssa.
07:57Hey, Alyssa, what's up?
07:58What's up?
07:59Checking in with Alyssa.
08:00Checking in with Alyssa.
08:01Checking in with Alyssa.
08:02Alyssa, what's up?
08:03Alyssa's our 16 year old fan.
08:05She calls in and lets us know what it's like to be 16 in 2011.
08:09Before you say a word, Alyssa, Shannon, do not, Alyssa, don't laugh because it encourages
08:15her.
08:16Don't laugh because it encourages her and I don't think this is appropriate.
08:19Please don't say anything inappropriate to Alyssa tonight.
08:22At some point her mom will watch this and I will be in trouble.
08:25That's not my fault you've got a relationship with a 16 year old fan.
08:28Okay.
08:29That being said, Alyssa, what's up?
08:31What do you want to talk about tonight?
08:32Well, talking about fitness or whatever, I used to, I don't do any physical fitness
08:39anymore.
08:40I used to do, I did Taekwondo for three years.
08:42Hell yeah.
08:43Hell yeah.
08:44But I had to have back surgery so I haven't been able to go back.
08:49But the thing is, there's no, I don't have any physical evidence of being unhealthy.
08:54Like I can't gain weight, but I feel like I'm going to know that I'm being so unhealthy
08:59when one day I dwell again because I eat so unhealthily and there's no way of finding
09:04out if it's affecting me at all.
09:06Are your periods a regular period?
09:08Okay, Shannon, stop.
09:10Alyssa, don't answer that.
09:11Oh, it's an honest question.
09:12It's an honest question.
09:13If you don't eat right, you can have your regular periods and you can affect your future
09:16ability to have children.
09:17And Alyssa, I want to make sure that you're having regular periods.
09:20Shannon, wildly inappropriate.
09:23Perhaps the most inappropriate thing yet.
09:25Alyssa, what I would say, right now you're young, your metabolism's working, and I can
09:29speak from experience, I think other people on this panel can.
09:32One day you will look in the mirror and be like, oh, that no longer works.
09:35I weigh 20 pounds more than when I was 18.
09:38Look at, I weigh, I weigh, I just weighed in, I weigh 35 pounds more than I did two and
09:43a half years ago.
09:45That's horrible.
09:46Yeah.
09:47I don't have any of that problem.
09:49I stay the same weight all the time.
09:50Yeah, Don, you're not participating.
09:51You're athletic and in shape.
09:53Yeah.
09:54There's no reason to participate in any contest.
09:56I'm fine.
09:57Would you give me something?
09:58Yeah, I should have.
09:59Hold on.
10:00Sorry.
10:01What's that, Alyssa?
10:02Well, I eat a lot and my doctor still tells me to eat more because I haven't gained weight
10:09in years.
10:10I'm 90 pounds.
10:11She should be in the weight.
10:12And it's ridiculous.
10:14And so I think that my heart's just going to get clogged because I'm going to die.
10:18Well, try not to think like that.
10:20I do find, I hope you don't spend your whole life at 16 assuming you're on the brink of death.
10:25I hope you can enjoy being youthful and exuberant as well.
10:28I hope she doesn't spend her whole life at 16 either.
10:31That's what you just said.
10:33Your relationship with Alyssa makes me so nervous.
10:36These York political legends facing off here on the Chris Gethard Show with so much facial
10:42hair also.
10:43Connor's got his facial hair.
10:44Jimmy McMillan's got his facial hair.
10:45It's going to be battle for the century.
10:47Tune in.
10:48Spread the word.
10:49Ratliff vs. McMillan.
10:51What's more important to America?
10:53Being 35 years old or the rent being too damn high?
10:56We'll find out next week.
10:57In the meantime, let's go to the phones.
10:59Hello, welcome to the show.
11:00How can we help you?
11:01Hi, it's Connor Ratliff.
11:03Connor Ratliff!
11:04President of the...
11:05And today, Connor Ratliff speaking the devil.
11:07Connor, we just aired your video.
11:09I can feel the buzz in the studio.
11:11Oh, I can feel it.
11:12I'm halfway across the country and I can feel the buzz from here.
11:15You felt the aftershocks of your announcement.
11:18I have a mini announcement to go along with that.
11:21Okay.
11:22Um, we have confirmation from the Mitt Romney for president campaign.
11:28We have official word that Governor Romney will not be participating in the great American presidential election.
11:34Okay.
11:35Governor Romney will not attend, but they did get back to you and that's a good first step.
11:39That's right.
11:40He did reach out.
11:41He had one of his people reach out.
11:44Okay.
11:45So, you haven't heard back from anyone else?
11:47No, no one else has gotten back to me yet.
11:49So, which candidates then can we say might participate because there have been no official rejections?
11:54My assumption is that all of the other candidates are going to show up.
11:59I just haven't gotten back to me yet.
12:01Okay.
12:02But they're very busy.
12:04Yeah.
12:05I'm sorry.
12:06I'm talking over you, I think.
12:07No, that's okay.
12:08So, next week it's you and Jimmy McMillan for sure.
12:10And then probably Rick Perry, Michelle Bachman.
12:13Probably Rick Perry.
12:14Probably President Obama.
12:15Okay.
12:16I mean, these are all...
12:17RSVPing is a complicated process.
12:19I'm in touch with...
12:22Yeah.
12:23John Huntsman's daughters are on Twitter and I'm in touch with both of them.
12:28Trying to get them to appear.
12:30Alright.
12:31So, it's all very exciting.
12:33Yes.
12:34We're very excited as well.
12:35We can't wait to see you and the other candidates face off.
12:37Any last words you want to say?
12:38Anything they should be bracing themselves for next week?
12:41Yes.
12:42I want everyone, everyone to go on Twitter, go on Facebook and harass the remaining candidates.
12:47Don't worry about Romney.
12:48He's a lost cause.
12:49He's not going to be president.
12:51He doesn't want it enough.
12:53He's not willing to be on the debate.
12:55He's showed his true colors.
12:57Alright.
12:58Fair enough.
12:59So, hopefully our fan base gets to work and we can harass someone else into joining us next week.
13:03But at the very least, Connor Ratler versus Jimmy McMillan.
13:05We're all very excited for that, Connor.
13:07Have a great night.
13:08In the meantime, we have some guests of the LLC.
13:12Hello.
13:13Right now, ladies and gentlemen, we have some very special guests with us.
13:19We want everybody on their feet, get ready to dance.
13:22I'm very excited these guys are joining us.
13:24They are exactly what they sound like.
13:26Please welcome the Toys and Tiny Instruments.
13:29All I want to do is meet some kind of storyteller, be a narrator combined.
13:40I'm living on the side of the stage in the spotlight, telling other people's life.
13:44I've never got to worry and I'm never upset, cause I've got the whole book in my hand.
13:49Everybody's waiting around, just in here when I'm about to save it in.
13:53Yeah!
14:03You're a character, boy.
14:05You never got to lose your rest.
14:07Well, she might go and break your heart.
14:10But be the best.
14:12Or maybe you're stuck in some kind of tragedy and everybody's gonna die.
14:16Well, a narrator, you don't have nobody, so a narrator never cries.
14:20Yeah!
14:29And that's why I became a narrator.
14:32That's why I became a narrator.
14:34That's why I became a narrator.
14:36I'll be living on the outside.
14:38I'll be living on the outside.
14:40Alright!
14:41Woo!
14:46Well, I ain't got a mission and I ain't got a goal, ain't got no obstacles.
14:55I don't have to change and I don't have to grow.
14:57I'm being heroical.
14:59The sports wall doesn't have any relevance, cause I'm breaking through.
15:04I'm probably gonna help and love somebody when they're talking straight to you.
15:08Yeah!
15:09That's why I became an narrator.
15:19That's why I became a narrator.
15:20That's why I became an narrator.
15:22That's why I became a narrator.
15:24I'll be living on the outside.
15:26I'll be living on the outside.
15:28Alright!
15:29All right, everybody, tonight's narrator is Forrest Gump, played by America's favorite
15:53leading man and two-time Oscar winner, Tom Hanks.
15:55Forrest narrates his own journey through the latter half of the 20th century.
16:00His slow and folksy ways boil down the tumultuous events of the 60s in a way that reminds us
16:05all of the complexity of living in those crazy times together.
16:08From his park bench, Forrest is truly an American icon, and he holds a place in our hearts as
16:14he gives us that familiar truism.
16:16Here we go.
16:17Mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates.
16:21You never know what you're gonna guess.
16:26That ain't such a cool thing to say
16:34I would say it every day
16:38So distinguished and so refined
16:43As I read my last life
16:47That's why I became a narrator
16:50That's why I became a narrator
16:53That's why I became a narrator
16:55I'll be living on the outside
16:57I'll be living on the outside
16:59I'll be living on the outside
17:13I'll be living on the outside
17:15I'll be living on the outside
17:17I'll be living on the outside
17:18Gentlemen, the boys had a ton of issues
17:20That was fantastic, thank you guys
17:23We'll have more from you guys later
17:24Perhaps the first band to weird out the human fish
17:29During the Forrest Gump part, the fish was like
17:31What's going on, man?
17:34And he's half man, half fish
17:35He did clap, assuming he said Tom Hanks
17:37He loves Tom, we just learned that human fish loves Tom Hanks
17:40So let's go ahead, let's learn another exercise if PJ's up here.
17:50Let's go ahead.
17:51What are we doing now?
17:52Well, it's going to be a continuation.
17:53For now, you guys are going to have the active rest exercise to the push-ups.
17:56So you're going to need a little room for this, and some of you may know these.
17:59These are burpees.
18:00Okay?
18:01So you guys are going to squat down, hands down, kick out, and up.
18:07Okay?
18:08And that's the modified version.
18:09Okay.
18:10Much more intense version.
18:11What's the intense version?
18:12The intense version?
18:13Jumping, right?
18:14And a push-up?
18:15Or down your chest?
18:16Push-up and a jump.
18:17Exactly.
18:18Okay.
18:19Do the advanced version if you guys want.
18:20Yeah.
18:21Maybe just have a couple of you do that because you do not have enough space.
18:24Okay.
18:25So you're going to squat down.
18:26As your hands touch, kick out, come back, and up.
18:29That's it?
18:30Yep.
18:31Okay.
18:32Let's get to work, everybody.
18:33In the meantime, do we have any callers on the line?
18:35Welcome to the line.
18:36You're on the Chris Heather Show.
18:37How can we help you?
18:38What about the shit's coming up?
18:39Turn down your TV?
18:40Uh...
18:41Turn down your TV.
18:42Ugh!
18:43Ugh!
18:44Ugh!
18:45How's this going to be a hurricane?
18:49Human fish!
18:50Human fish!
18:53Human fish!
18:54Human fish!
18:55Excuse me?
18:57Human fish!
18:59Did you just call it?
19:00Human fish!
19:01We're getting rid of this pie.
19:03Keep talking, you're the best.
19:08What else do you want to say?
19:11He likes to have a big butt with a penis on him.
19:16Hey, kid, how old are you, man?
19:23Why?
19:25Hey, man, I asked you a question.
19:26How old are you?
19:29Hey, man, I asked you a question.
19:31How old are you?
19:33No.
19:34That's not a number.
19:36I want a number.
19:37How old are you?
19:38Five.
19:39Five.
19:40Oh, that is a number.
19:42Five.
19:45That is a number.
19:46Sorry about that.
19:48So what else do you want to talk about tonight?
19:50Anything you want.
19:50Let's talk about anything.
19:51You can stay on the phone as long as you want.
19:54Anything you want.
19:55Let's talk about anything.
19:56You can stay on the phone as long as you want.
19:59Do we have a butterfly on your penis?
20:03You shouldn't be calling TV shows and talking about penises, kid.
20:07What specifically do you want to know?
20:09Does he have something on his penis?
20:11A butterfly.
20:12A butterfly?
20:13Does who have a butterfly?
20:14No, I'm talking about boy with a butterfly.
20:19Boy with a butterfly?
20:20Who has a butterfly?
20:21He has a tattoo.
20:25Butterfly tattoo?
20:27Human death!
20:28Human death!
20:30Human fish, walk up and let's just stare into this camera because you've got a very young fan.
20:38Human fish.
20:40Kid.
20:41This kid versus Hitler.
20:45Human death!
20:47Human death!
20:48This kid versus Tuberculosis.
21:01I hate to see human fish dance.
21:04Human fish, the kid wants to see you dance.
21:07Dance, human fish.
21:09Dance to the kid.
21:10Can we have some dance music for the human fish?
21:12Is that possible, LLC?
21:14We're going to give this kid whatever he wants.
21:15This could be the rest of our show, ladies, gentlemen.
21:19Human fish, human fish!
21:28Keep finding it, keep finding it, keep finding it.
21:32Don't kill it, don't kill it.
21:35Six.
21:38Okay.
21:39So kid, you saw me.
21:41Go, go, go.
21:42Here's God, here's God.
21:44This might be Forrest Gump.
21:47Yeah, what else do you want?
21:48Anything else you want the human fish to do, kid?
21:50Who wants a big butt whip?
21:53Good night.
21:54Good night!
21:55Good night!
21:57Thanks for staying up here.
21:59Calling in.
22:01Now let's get back to our burpees, guys.
22:03We're taking this seriously.
22:04And also I've been informed that a guy dressed as Ernie from Sesame Street is here.
22:07He wants to give some of us presents.
22:09Oh, that's right.
22:09So let's keep doing burpees.
22:11That's happening before.
22:12I know who you are.
22:18I kept looking over at Ernie over there and he kept humping stuff.
22:21No, no, no.
22:22Random George, I know it's you.
22:24Oh, shit!
22:25Oh, shit!
22:28It's Random George.
22:29Hey, he's a gentleman.
22:31The Mystery Greek.
22:35The Mystery Greek is back.
22:37How are you, Random George?
22:41How have you been?
22:46Thank you very much for the car.
22:48Hey, shit!
22:49Shit!
22:50Don't assault!
22:51Don't assault, Random George.
22:53Random George, can you show your shit and dance to the audience?
23:04Random George, can you show your shit and dance to the audience?
23:06Whatever you'd like.
23:09I'll have some presents for everybody.
23:17Yes, Aspen, yeah!
23:19Man!
23:20Hey!
23:20Hey!
23:20What?
23:21Perfect right, Munchkin.
23:23Don't fucking eat those, man.
23:24Get away from the finale.
23:25Dude, or not in this contest.
23:27Get your fucking shit asshole away from him.
23:30Right in here, Shannon hates you.
23:33I don't trust him.
23:35For Yanni!
23:36Yanni, that's for you.
23:37Sorry for Yanni.
23:39Better stop.
23:41Better stop.
23:42Better stop.
23:43Better stop.
23:44What?
23:46This is by far our most bizarre show, right?
23:49Yeah, this is weird.
23:51How's everybody doing?
23:52He's here to show you how men from Greece work out.
23:59Shitting their pants.
24:03For everybody.
24:12Human fish, okay.
24:14Everybody else will give you something lighter.
24:16Can you that, Random George, know we need to pick up the pace a little bit?
24:22He'll sit here and work out with you.
24:24Okay, you want to work out with us for the rest of the show?
24:26That's great.
24:27Yes.
24:27Okay.
24:28Now I've heard, this show is, I mean, five-year-old kids, bizarre characters, got another one on
24:34the way.
24:35Two different times now, this guy has offered to be the show's mascot.
24:38Both times it's gone really poorly.
24:40Come on!
24:41Random Andrew, you got the shitty underwear.
24:43I think that's good.
24:44The shit's on the outside, not the inside.
24:45Let's focus.
24:47So ladies and gentlemen, we want to get this guy back on the show finally to do his thing.
24:51We're hoping that he's not thwarted by this enemy who's been taunting him.
24:54Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the stage.
24:56The show's mascot, Gethy!
25:01Gethy go!
25:02Ready, Gethy go!
25:05Ready, Gethy go!
25:07Ready!
25:08Ready!
25:09Gethy!
25:10Gethy!
25:11Go!
25:12Gethy, someone just threw a gourd at you, man.
25:21Someone just hit Rob Malone with a gourd.
25:23Gethy, get out of here, man.
25:24It's that guy.
25:25It's that guy.
25:26That guy's coming for you.
25:27Gethy, get out of here.
25:29The banana went to take photographs.
25:31The banana man just chased Gethy out.
25:33We're hoping Gethy's safe.
25:34Hoping everything is all right with Gethy.
25:36The banana man just went down.
26:06Well, we all just saw Gethy die in a car.
26:18Gethy just died in an exploding car.
26:20He drives a car.
26:21Gethy drives a car, and the car fucking exploded.
26:24I feel bad.
26:25Because I'm the one who chased him out of here.
26:27Anyway, let's get back to exercising.
26:30Gethy's dead.
26:30We don't have to worry about him anymore.
26:32What else are we going to do?
26:33Okay, now we're going to go into front lunges, guys.
26:37Okay.
26:37Step forward.
26:38One week from tonight, history will be made.
26:41Open your legs.
26:44This show's fucked up tonight.
26:48Okay, this one's not that hard.
26:50No, no, no, it's not bad.
26:50Try and bend your rear knee.
26:52That backseat, there you go.
26:54Okay.
26:56Let's keep doing these.
26:58Let's take a caller.
26:59Caller, you're on the line.
27:00Welcome to the show.
27:01How can we help you?
27:03Hey, how you doing?
27:07I want the fish man to sing Jingle Bells.
27:10Jingle Bells?
27:11It's not that he doesn't work for that.
27:13I want to sing with him.
27:16You want to sing Jingle Bells with the human fish?
27:18Is that what you're saying?
27:18I want to sing Jingle Bells with the fish man together.
27:22What makes you think of Jingle Bells?
27:23You have to say Jingle Bells versus another Christmas carol.
27:27Jingle Bells versus have your mom call me later.
27:31With human fish, who wins that?
27:32I can't see you.
27:34Okay, let's stand up.
27:35Me and the human fish.
27:36Let's stand up.
27:37So Jingle Bells versus have your mom call me later.
27:40Who wins human fish?
27:41Have your mom call me later.
27:43You don't want to sing, man.
27:45I see the guy with the guitar.
27:49Human fish, he doesn't want to sing.
27:50Jingle Bells, you ready?
27:52Okay, you do what you do.
27:53We'll see if you can get him to join in.
27:55How many of you are?
27:55Let's get a nice close-up on the human fish.
27:58We'll see if he joins this man in singing.
28:01All together now, Jingle Bells.
28:03Yep.
28:03Let's get into the season.
28:08Do it, man.
28:08Sing.
28:11I'm ready when you are.
28:12Yep.
28:13Lead the charge, dude.
28:14It's your call.
28:15You're the one who called.
28:16You're the worst caller in the history of this show.
28:28And that's saying a lot.
28:29We've had people just call up and shout racists out.
28:34It's your face.
28:36All right, so planks are horrible.
28:37Hello.
28:38Planks are tough.
28:39Okay, planks are really horrible.
28:40Was that another caller I just heard?
28:41Do we have another caller on there?
28:43Hello.
28:44Yeah, who's this?
28:46Hello.
28:48Yeah, you're on the air.
28:49What's up?
28:49What do you want?
28:50My name is Nicolas.
28:52I'm from Chile.
28:56I'm very, very exciting with your show.
29:00Okay.
29:01That's cool, man.
29:02So what did you want to talk about tonight?
29:08This is officially the weirdest thing.
29:10I'm talking about Slurpees.
29:14In my visit in your country, I love Slurpees.
29:20Where are you from?
29:21Where are you from?
29:22I'm very, very, very hate the prejuicio.
29:28Okay, man.
29:34I think we're going to get going.
29:35I love your show.
29:43I'm the best thing of the humanity is viewing your show.
29:49I'm the best caller in New York City.
29:54Okay, man.
29:55Buenas noches.
29:56We'll talk to you later.
29:57Best person to operate a telephone in New York City.
29:59I've been there just playing.
30:00Yeah, best person to operate a telephone.
30:02Well, thank you so much for that very weird call.
30:07Do we have any more exercises that we need?
30:08Yeah, we can give you one more exercise.
30:10We still have one more exercise.
30:11Planks are the worst by far so far.
30:13Omar, how are you doing, man?
30:14I'm about to die.
30:15Okay, Omar, you can take a break if you are, man.
30:18Oh, my God.
30:18Beat Shannon.
30:19Oh!
30:20Okay, Omar versus Shannon.
30:24Another great exercise to do just at home is everybody has chairs in their house, I would
30:29assume, so if we could have a couple of chairs.
30:32Dips?
30:33Can we do some dips?
30:33Yes, exactly, Shannon.
30:35Shannon, why do you know I'm shit?
30:36Oh, my fucking workout.
30:38So all you guys can do is we can get some chairs and have you guys do some dips.
30:43Omar!
30:44Omar with the insults, man.
30:45Okay.
30:46Okay, so I'll take turns doing that.
30:48Yeah, doing that, you can put your leg up again, you're hitting the core.
30:51Okay.
30:51Okay.
30:54You're up, Omar.
30:55You want to start random, George?
30:56Challenge me.
30:57Let's let random, George start off on the dips.
31:00We got random, George on the dips right here.
31:02I hope your dick doesn't get in the way.
31:04That's a cod piece.
31:05Okay, do you want to take this chair, Bethany?
31:08Sure.
31:09While these guys are doing dips, we'll switch in and out on that.
31:12Do we have a caller on the line?
31:13Welcome to the show.
31:14How can we help you tonight?
31:16Hello.
31:17Yes, you're on the air.
31:18How can we help you?
31:19How's the show going?
31:21It's weird, man.
31:22I'm going to be totally honest.
31:23It's a weird one tonight.
31:24Ah, yeah.
31:25It's Noah, by the way.
31:27Oh, hey.
31:27How's it going, Noah?
31:28Pretty good.
31:30You guys got about ten minutes left, it looks like.
31:32That's exciting.
31:33Thanks for the update.
31:34That's good.
31:35That's good.
31:37And have you guys been saying funny things?
31:40I don't know, man.
31:41We've been getting lots of weird calls.
31:44There's another show in here during our prep time.
31:46It's been very chaotic, but I think it's okay.
31:49Visually, I think it's pretty stimulating.
31:51That's great.
31:52I mean, that's really exciting.
31:54So what's up with you?
31:55Oh, I'm in a cab room.
31:57Okay.
31:59Where are you going, Noah?
32:00Correct.
32:00Yeah.
32:01Absolutely.
32:02This is the worst call of the night, Noah.
32:04Noah, this is by far the worst call.
32:05No, no, no.
32:06Let's talk some more.
32:07I got the challenge.
32:07Noah, good night.
32:09Noah, if you're in here, you hang up a little bit.
32:11Noah, thank you for the call.
32:13Good night.
32:13This is horrible.
32:15All right.
32:15Can I throw something out there?
32:17Can I say something?
32:19Yeah.
32:19I'm inviting the audience, studio audience, everyone out there, to challenge me during this weight loss challenge.
32:25If you email spofit2011 at gmail.com and you tell me to do a minute of burpees, a minute plank, or a minute of crunches, I will do them.
32:37You can email once a day.
32:38That's anybody out there watching.
32:40So you're going to let the audience dictate your workout?
32:42Yeah, I will do that in addition to my normal workout I do.
32:45Wow, spofit2011.
32:46All right.
32:46So for this week, it's burpees, planks, and crunches.
32:51I'll change it up next week.
32:52All right.
32:53Sounds good.
32:54Let's go back to the phones.
32:56Caller, you're on the air.
32:57Welcome to the show.
32:58How can we help you?
32:59Hi, this is Mike.
33:01Hey, Mike.
33:01What's up?
33:01What do you want to talk about?
33:03Mike from the Handsome Men.
33:05Hey, Mike from the Handsome Men.
33:06You were on a couple weeks ago.
33:06How's it going?
33:08It's pretty good.
33:09All right.
33:10What did you want to talk about?
33:11I guess I have a question for the human fish.
33:14Okay.
33:14You have a question for the human fish.
33:16What's up?
33:16It is Don Sinelli or Chris Gethard.
33:21Wow.
33:22Human fish.
33:24Don Sinelli versus Chris Gethard.
33:26Good one.
33:27I'm strung like a skinny young bean.
33:38Barking like a hound.
33:39Cause in a scene.
33:40I kind of drive in this monster movie.
33:43Where everybody knows what's on the other side.
33:46But me, I'm supreme.
33:47And you could be the mother of all earth's envy.
33:50And I'm the proud papa standing tall.
33:52And we could beat the baby on severed heartstrings.
33:56For my lottery ticket.
33:57And I draw a drink about a half a cup of bourbon this morning.
34:01For my dancing Disney princesses.
34:04He said, I gotta feel it.
34:05It's a short fin.
34:07I'm gonna be on my feet.
34:08I bought a lottery ticket.
34:10Cause I'm optimistic.
34:11Who's that bought a lottery ticket?
34:13I'm optimistic.
34:15Who's that bought a lottery ticket?
34:16I'm optimistic.
34:17Who's that bought a lottery ticket?
34:19I'm optimistic.
34:20Who's that bought a lottery ticket?
34:22I'm optimistic.
34:23All right.
34:24Chris Gethard, I don't know if anybody's ever won one million dollars on your show before.
34:29We're up to a million dollars.
34:30But we're about to try.
34:31Here we go.
34:32We lost!
34:59I'm optimistic.
35:03I'm optimistic.
35:07I'm optimistic.
35:08I'm optimistic.
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36:09known as the best dancer on the show but I just saw a guy give him a run for his money and I want
36:12to know Rob Malone versus Random George. They were both just throwing down. I don't want to
36:20create controversy. Rob Malone. Rob I don't know how you feel but Random George is just going nuts
36:29out there. How are you feeling about that? I mean I'm not dancing the best of my ability these days.
36:35Wow. So you feel like you're slipping personally. Yeah. A lot of things about like everything in my life is slipping right now.
36:41Everything in your life is slipping right now. Are you okay? This is the center of it. Okay. The dancing. Wow. We opened up a can of worms there. I don't know how deep you want to go into this. I just felt really depressed like right during that last one. Wow. Hey Chris. Yeah. We just got this delivered to you via Seamless Web. It's a Belgian waffle. Who did it? We don't know. We have
37:05no idea and we turned the delivery man away and then he said no. It's for Chris Getthart.
37:11Specifically it's for Chris Getthart? It's the Chris Getthart show. Is there anyone here who wants to take responsibility for this waffle? It's already opened. Wait. Wait. Isn't this like...
37:18This could just be poisoned.
37:21Brandon Andrew. You made it. That saved my life.
37:24Nobody here?
37:25All right. Who wants the waffle?
37:26Someone who wants to eat it.
37:28Who among our competitors?
37:29What's that, Hallie?
37:30Someone who wants to sabotage your weight loss.
37:32It is that.
37:32You should taste it first.
37:37You should be my flunk tester.
37:38If I taste it and I taste it.
37:41Random George, I think that's a great idea. Anything I eat, you're going to test for poison first.
37:46I'm not dying before you do. You got it, Random Andrew?
37:48What about Random George's munchkins that he brought?
37:50Is there anybody? Anybody up here who wants some of that food or who's staying strong?
37:55They do look really good though.
37:56Okay. Anybody want a munchkin or a waffle?
37:59I'm not in this contest. I'll take a munchkin.
38:00All right, Jesse. Ladies and gentlemen, we have set the stage for this weight loss challenge.
38:06We thank you guys all for tuning in. This has been a crazy show.
38:08I want to thank everybody for being here. Specifically, the Toys and Tiny Instruments.
38:12Woo!
38:12Fuck, we nailed it, man. That was awesome.
38:15I want to thank everybody.
38:16JP Yamato, Killin' the Boom, all the shit together.
38:19Keith Johnson.
38:20Thank you, everybody on our crew.
38:22Our cast will be back soon.
38:24Next week, the Grand American Presidential Invade.
38:26Carter Ratliff versus Timmy Killin'.
38:29Spread the word.
38:30We're going to see who comes out on top.
38:32The winner will be President of the United States.
38:35Thank you guys so much.
38:37Have a great night.
38:38Love.
38:40It is?
38:41Yeah.
38:41Who wants it?
38:43That's more dog?
38:44I don't know.
38:45You're waiting on it.
38:46That was a waffle, anybody?
38:48Okay.
38:49Riley will take it.
38:50Thank you so much for sticking with us.
39:08I hear it was a little glitchy tonight.
39:09We apologize.
39:10We'll pick something next week.
39:12Presidential debate next week.
39:13Be there.
39:14What's up, dude?
39:15You're running for the camera.
39:16Awesome.
39:17That guy's fucking awesome.
39:19That guy's awesome.
39:20That's my favorite person.
39:21Live shoot.
39:22Good night.
39:22Thank you guys for watching.
39:41Baby-hoo.
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