- 2 days ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:003, 2, 1
00:021, 2, 3, 4
00:04Well come take a ride
00:14Come take a ride
00:15With the weirdest guy and yo
00:17Well it's Wednesday night
00:18It's Wednesday night
00:20And now you didn't go
00:22The Chris Gathard Show
00:23Chris Gathard Show
00:26Chris Gathard Show
00:28Chris Gathard Show
00:31Thank you, thank you
00:35Thanks, thank you very much
00:40Hello everybody, welcome to The Chris Gathard Show
00:41I'm your host Chris Gathard
00:43We want to say hi to everybody watching on MNN
00:45On the cable system in Manhattan
00:47Say hi to everybody watching live on the internet
00:49At thechrisgethardshow.com
00:51Let people know we're out there right now
00:53Live on Twitter, Facebook, all that stuff
00:55Feel free to let people know what's going on
00:57Very happy to have you all here tonight
00:59Very happy to have all my guests with me
01:01Shannon O'Neill here as always
01:03We've got the handsomest man in Hackensack, New Jersey
01:08Don Finelli, the one and only
01:10Bethany, my lovely assistant as always
01:13In the top row, the queen of the top row
01:15Making his first ever appearance on our public access show
01:19After being a large part of our stage show
01:21Mr. Will Hines
01:22Yeah, Will Hines
01:23Accent for a long time
01:25Here to infect this show with his stylings
01:28And I want to introduce for the first time
01:30My old friend
01:31One of the guys who's
01:32I came up with
01:33You were one of my mentors in comedy
01:35Ladies and gentlemen, joining us
01:36Mr. Brian Husky
01:37Very happy to have you here
01:38How are you, Brian?
01:42You see, is that your first question for me?
01:44This is not an interview
01:45I'm not going to be
01:46No, seriously, out of the gate
01:47You're going to ask
01:47How are you?
01:48Here's the most blanket, wide-open statement
01:50I can make to you
01:51What's going on, man?
01:56Anyway, Brian
01:57Let me introduce you to two people
01:59You might not know
02:00Up in the top row
02:01This girl called in our second show
02:03Asked us why we're doing the show
02:04We asked her to come be a part of it
02:06She's been here ever since
02:06Random Jean, ladies and gentlemen
02:08Thank you
02:09Thank you
02:10Behind her, we got Mimi on the hula hoops
02:13In the back, as always
02:14And right here
02:15Right here in the corner
02:18You can see this man
02:20He emerged from the sea
02:21He's trying to figure out
02:22The world of men
02:23Ladies and gentlemen
02:24The human fish
02:25What's he thinking?
02:38So mysterious
02:39So human fish
02:45We know you're always trying to figure out
02:46This world
02:47You have all these internal battles going on
02:48What's on your mind right now?
02:52Awakenings versus hauntings
02:54Awakenings versus hauntings
02:56Who wins?
02:58Awakenings
02:59Awakenings, wow
03:00Wow
03:00I would agree with that
03:01I would agree
03:02Great first contribution
03:05Great first contribution
03:05Great first contribution
03:07I want to of course thank the greatest band
03:09In public access
03:10The LLC
03:10Playing us in the air
03:12So we got a whole lot of stuff going on
03:16In this show tonight
03:16I got some very special friends
03:18We want to introduce
03:18We've told you guys
03:19If you're on Twitter
03:19And you draw something
03:21And you tweet it
03:22At Chris Gethard
03:23We will show your drawings
03:24On the air
03:25Let's see
03:25We've already had a bunch going in
03:26I don't know if we have any drawings
03:27That we can show
03:28Let's see
03:28We got that
03:29Oh Joe from Queens
03:30I don't know
03:30Is this from
03:31Oh someone's saying
03:32Fuck Joe from Queens
03:33I think
03:34Someone's rendition
03:36Oh and a nice picture of Shannon
03:38Shooting with someone's mouth
03:40Yeah yeah yeah
03:41Oh
03:41Oh
03:42Oh
03:42Oh
03:43That's good
03:44Joe from Queens
03:46This is a caller
03:46He's called the past few weeks
03:47And tormented Shannon
03:48The reason all these drawings
03:49Are coming up
03:50Is because we have
03:50A very special offer
03:51For you guys tonight
03:52Let's welcome our friend
03:53Matt Mayer to the stage
03:54So callers
03:59Tonight we're going to ask
03:59You guys to call in
04:00We want to hear about
04:00Stuff related to the internet
04:02If you've ever dated
04:04Someone online
04:04If you had a disaster
04:05Relating to the internet
04:06I've had a bad experience
04:07With the internet today
04:08So we're going to do that
04:09But when you call up
04:10Describe yourself
04:11Matt Mayer will draw you
04:13Based just on the sound
04:14Of your voice
04:14And the brief description
04:15You give us
04:16So Matt will be guessing
04:17What you look like
04:18And drawing
04:18Let's also bring out
04:19Our friend Mayal Dalavu
04:21Hello
04:21How are you
04:23Mayal I'm sorry
04:23That I always
04:24At least slightly
04:25Mispronounce your name
04:25That's okay
04:26No one can
04:27Okay
04:27You will be drawing Matt
04:29As he draws pictures
04:30Of our callers
04:30So Matt will be drawing
04:32Callers
04:32You will show Matt
04:34What he looked like
04:34While drawing that caller
04:35And as far as the internet goes
04:37I'm just going to get
04:38Into this today man
04:39Some person on Twitter
04:40Named S. McPickle
04:42Started telling me
04:44I like your show
04:45But I wish you would put
04:45All your musical guests
04:46In a soundproof bubble
04:47And I was like
04:49Really turned off by that
04:50I was in a bad mood
04:51It defeats the purpose
04:52You can't hear them then
04:53Exactly
04:53But I think that's what
04:54They wanted
04:55I think they were saying
04:56As an asshole
04:56An asshole
04:57And I said to this person
04:59She's like
04:59I'm a real big fan
05:00Of this show
05:01Just being sarcastic
05:02And I'm like
05:02What makes a person decide
05:04I'm going to leave
05:04Shitty comments on the internet
05:06I'm going to say
05:06Shitty things online
05:08That's going to be my thing
05:08And I go
05:09And she's got like
05:10A food based blog spot
05:12I'm like
05:12I could make fun of that
05:13If I want to
05:14But I'm going to stay
05:15Hands off on that
05:16I just bring that up
05:17And it gets giggles
05:18That you got a blog spot
05:19About feta cheese man
05:20Just trying to be creative
05:22You're making fun of stuff
05:23So S.McPickles
05:24Stop talking shit
05:25And in the meantime
05:26Have you ever gotten
05:27In a fight on the internet?
05:28Have you had good things happen?
05:29Have you dated people
05:30From the internet?
05:30The internet's a weird
05:31Creepy place
05:32Call us up
05:33Let us know
05:34And in the meantime
05:35Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:37Why don't you give us a call?
05:39Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:40Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:43Why don't you give us a call?
05:44Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:46Yeah
05:47Alright
05:47We got a game tonight
05:49Ladies and gentlemen
05:49It's going to be a fun game
05:51Probably our most poorly planned bit
05:53Since the human crane
05:54Let's go ahead
05:55Let's go ahead and introduce
05:57Don't Drop That Onion
05:58One, two, three, four
06:01Don't you drop
06:02Don't you drop that onion
06:04Don't you drop
06:07Don't you drop
06:07Don't you drop that onion
06:09You better not drop that onion
06:12So here's how this show
06:14Is going to work
06:14For the rest of the show
06:16Starting at this point
06:17All of us are going to
06:18Hold our onions out
06:19Straight in front of us
06:20It shows an hour long
06:21Okay, I've got
06:22I had an injury
06:24In my forearm
06:25Then use your other arm
06:27That other arm
06:29We haven't all started yet
06:30So I'm putting my hand down
06:31Okay, yeah
06:31You've got to say
06:32One, two, three
06:33Yeah, sounds good
06:34So what's your issue, Husky?
06:35Okay
06:35I don't play tennis
06:37But I've got tennis elbow
06:38Okay
06:39So which is like
06:41A really frustrating
06:42And debilitating disease
06:44What about the other arm?
06:46That one works great
06:46Then use that arm
06:48Just trying to let people
06:50Know a little bit about myself
06:51Our producer Noah
06:54Is going to keep an eye
06:55On all of us
06:56And if our onions
06:57Ever drop from being
06:58Straight out from our bodies
06:59If we try to rest our muscles
06:59By going higher
07:00Or lower
07:01You will be forced to wear
07:03A child-sized Halloween costume
07:04For the rest of the show
07:05So that's our show team
07:06So basically one of us
07:07Does not wear a costume
07:08At the end of the show
07:09I mean if all of us drop
07:10There's enough costumes
07:11For all of us
07:12Oh good
07:12Then we throw the onions
07:13We throw the onions
07:15At the person uncostumed
07:16Right?
07:17I mean yeah
07:18That'll be off camera
07:19But you can
07:19I think you're going to do that
07:21No matter what
07:21No pelting with onions
07:22Come on
07:22This is of course
07:23A tribute to our friends
07:24In the Dolch Nacoff Brigade
07:26Who brought onions last time
07:27They have a show this Friday
07:28At Fontana's
07:29If you're at NYC
07:30Check that out
07:30Much love to the Dolch Nacoff Brigade
07:32In the meantime
07:32Do we have any callers?
07:34Alright
07:35Caller
07:35Let's everybody
07:36One, two, three
07:37Hold out your onions
07:38Caller
07:39Welcome to the Chris Gethard Show
07:40You're on the air
07:41How can we help you?
07:42Hey what's up?
07:44Who's this?
07:45Christy
07:46Hey Christy
07:47How's it going?
07:48Good
07:48How are you guys?
07:49We're good
07:50So tell us like
07:50One or two sentences
07:51About yourself
07:52So Matt can draw you
07:53One or two what?
07:55One or two things
07:56About yourself
07:57So Matt can draw you
07:58Um
08:00I am
08:02Pretty energetic
08:03And
08:05I
08:06She's a robot too
08:08I have brown hair
08:09I guess you can
08:09Kind of walk that in
08:10Okay brown hair
08:11Energetic
08:12Matt any questions
08:13For Christy?
08:14Uh
08:14Yeah
08:15Um
08:16Do you have a big nose?
08:19I don't have
08:20A big nose
08:22I have a pretty
08:23Normalized nose
08:24I think
08:25So you're going to
08:26Have to draw this person
08:26Based on the fact
08:27That you know
08:27They are energetic
08:28That's what we've got
08:29So Christy
08:32What's uh
08:33What's on your mind
08:33Tonight
08:33What are you calling
08:34Up for?
08:35Um
08:36You guys
08:36Talking about
08:37Like internet
08:37Things
08:39And I had
08:40Some weird
08:40Me and my friend
08:41Maybe like
08:42A year or two ago
08:43We used to go
08:43And chat roulette
08:44We were
08:45Kind of
08:46Seeing what that was about
08:47Because a lot of people
08:48Were talking about it
08:49And one
08:50Like
08:51Maybe the first
08:52Or second time
08:52We went on
08:53We were talking
08:53To like this person
08:54For maybe like
08:55Seven minutes
08:56And then we
08:57Kind of noticed
08:58It was kind of weird
08:59And then
09:00We found out
09:01It was kind of
09:01Like a robot
09:02Person
09:02It wasn't a real
09:03Person at all
09:04And it was like
09:05A fake
09:06Kind of
09:07Guy
09:08That we were talking to
09:09And it kind of
09:09Kept repeating
09:09The same thing
09:10Towards the end
09:11So that's how we knew
09:12It was fake
09:13And it was
09:13Kind of the
09:14Scariest thing ever
09:15That always sucks
09:16When you talk to a robot
09:16For seven minutes
09:17And don't know it
09:18But it's better than
09:19Seeing like
09:20Endless dicks
09:21Right
09:21What
09:23It's better than
09:24Seeing it
09:24Oh yeah yeah yeah
09:26Now yeah
09:26It was definitely better
09:28He kept asking
09:29His robot voice
09:30Do you want to
09:30See my dick
09:31Or
09:31What
09:33No
09:33All right
09:37Chrissy I'm really sorry
09:38You had to go through
09:39That with that robot
09:40Anything else
09:40You want to talk about
09:41Today
09:41I guess it's on
09:45The human fish's mind
09:46All right
09:47Human fish
09:47We got a caller
09:48Who wants to know
09:48What's on your mind
09:49Aliens
09:52Versus
09:54Alien abductees
09:56Wow
09:57Okay
09:57Aliens
09:58Versus
09:59Alien abductees
10:00Who wins
10:00Alien abductees
10:03Wow
10:03I would say
10:04Almost never
10:05Not in the short term
10:05Well Chrissy
10:06Thank you so much
10:07For the call
10:07Have a great night
10:08Matt
10:09Let's go ahead
10:09And see what you
10:10Let's see what Chrissy
10:11Looked like in your mind
10:12Wow
10:14Let's take a look
10:16At that
10:16It's a pretty sketch
10:18So you think
10:18She's a rather
10:19Attractive person
10:19Can I see it Matt
10:20Give it time
10:22Ugly comes with a detail
10:23Okay
10:24Very pretty
10:25Ugly comes with a detail
10:27That's good
10:28Like wrinkles
10:28Like wrinkles
10:28And my
10:30What did Matt
10:30Look like
10:31While drawing
10:31Christy
10:32Let's go ahead
10:33And see
10:33All right
10:35All right
10:36A very accurate
10:38Dispiction
10:38I would imagine
10:39At that angle
10:39Is that
10:40Anybody else's
10:42Shoulder in pain
10:42Already
10:43I saw
10:44There's like
10:44Massive
10:45Did you even test this out
10:46You realize that
10:47You wouldn't be able to
10:47An hour
10:48How come I have the biggest onion
10:49I'm clearly the smallest person
10:51I took the smallest one
10:53So you have the biggest
10:54This onion's nothing
10:55Don how you feeling?
10:56I feel great
10:56He's totally so daintily
10:58Very nice
10:58No I know
10:59I'm trying to treat
11:00I'm acting like I'm a tree
11:01I'm doing
11:02You know what
11:04Fuck this
11:05Wow
11:05Okay
11:05Shannon O'Neil has dropped her onion
11:08Okay
11:09Do I put it on right now?
11:11You gotta put it on right now
11:12Fuck this shit
11:13Shannon
11:14You will be doing the rest of the show
11:16Dressed as a chicken
11:17As just the head of it
11:18No we're just gonna hand them out
11:20Not random
11:20Is that all?
11:21That's fine
11:21Wait there's no body costume?
11:23There's no stakes to this
11:24Yeah there's almost no stakes
11:25I was told this was a high stakes show
11:29No not so much
11:30Let's see
11:31Do we have any other pictures online
11:32Coming in?
11:33Let's see
11:34Oh it's Joe from Queens
11:36Yeah
11:36Chris Gethard
11:37Oh Joe from Queens
11:39A lot of people mocking Joe from Queens
11:41No that's me
11:43Let's see
11:44Oh that's not a drawing
11:45That's a photograph
11:46Let's clarify
11:47We already saw that one
11:49What else do we got?
11:49Media not displayed
11:50This is working
11:51Oh just the words
11:52I drew this
11:53That looks like a nuclear bomb
11:57Going off on my head
11:58Oh my god
12:00Oh wow that one's pretty good
12:04Random message on my shirt
12:06Who drew that?
12:06Curtis
12:07That's Bart
12:08Gethard
12:08Curtis Gethard
12:09Drawing it up
12:10Thank you for accurately drawing my sad hairline
12:13I thank you for that
12:14It's a Simpsons you
12:15Oh Random Gene's holding her arm up
12:17What do you think Noah?
12:21Sheena!
12:22It's Noah's call
12:23Random Gene you're gone
12:24I'll look to pick it out of the bag
12:26It looks like that
12:26I will be gone so shortly
12:28Why am I doing this?
12:29Shut your eyes
12:29Shut your eyes
12:30This is an ancient
12:31Shut your eyes
12:31Random fucking Gene
12:33Of course Random Gene gets the crown
12:36I just want to beat the human fish
12:40I know my arm hurts so fucking dead
12:42The human fish has got exposed dainty arms
12:44Let's go ahead and get to another caller
12:47Caller you're on the line
12:48Welcome to the Chris Gethardt show
12:50Hi this is Alyssa
12:52Hey Alyssa how's it going?
12:53Checking in with Alyssa
12:55Checking in with Alyssa
12:58Alyssa what's up?
13:00So Bravo
13:00Alyssa watches the show
13:02She's a big comedy nerd
13:03I think I saw online
13:05Alyssa did you have a birthday?
13:06Are you now 16?
13:08Yeah
13:08Wow congratulations
13:10That's legal in some states
13:11Shannon
13:12Ah human fish is out
13:14Please do not say anything inappropriate
13:16I'm pretty sure if you're in Oklahoma
13:18Someone could fuck your tank
13:19Shannon
13:20Honestly Shannon stop
13:22Human fish is out
13:23At least wait till the end of the show
13:25After the call
13:25You can get married in Nevada
13:26Like Courtney Stodden
13:27Yeah
13:28So Alyssa I'm so so sorry
13:30About how long the calls go
13:31Also I'm out
13:32This hurts too bad
13:32After the call we'll do those
13:33Alyssa what's on your mind?
13:35What's up tonight?
13:35I hope you had a good birthday
13:36And it's going better than this call
13:38Um
13:39Um
13:40Not
13:41I don't know what
13:43I call
13:44I have nothing to talk about ever
13:45No that's okay
13:46I feel like you don't have to apologize
13:48You always call up
13:49And you're nice
13:49And then Shannon
13:50Just makes you so uncomfortable
13:51I do have an honest question
13:52Alyssa where were you last week?
13:53You never called in
13:54I was doing homework actually
13:57Alyssa I told you I'd do your homework for you
14:00Alyssa what are your hardest classes this year?
14:04Um
14:05Well
14:06Pre-calculus
14:08I'd do it for you
14:09Don Finale can help you with your pre-calculus homework
14:12Yeah but
14:13But Alyssa told me that
14:14Why are you talking to Alyssa?
14:17I still can't talk to Alyssa
14:18And she told me that
14:21Her homework doesn't count for anything
14:22Her what?
14:24Her homework doesn't count for anything
14:25Can I give you
14:26Can I give you some advice Alyssa?
14:28If you're
14:28If you're really
14:29Like you really like comedy
14:30Hello
14:33Are you
14:33Are you listening?
14:35Yeah
14:35I couldn't hear
14:36Okay pay attention
14:37Do you like comedy?
14:38Like do you believe in comedy?
14:39She loves comedy
14:40You really love comedy?
14:41I'm gonna say
14:42Go ahead and drop out of school right now
14:43Go ahead and drop out of school
14:45And just start doing stand-up
14:47You don't need an education
14:48You don't need college
14:49You don't need any of that
14:51You just have to hit the clubs
14:52Right?
14:52This is the second time I've had advice on this show
14:56Yeah
14:56She's told her that already
14:58Alyssa
14:58But here's the thing
14:59You gotta move out of your house
15:00With your parents
15:01You gotta move like
15:02To like downtown
15:04You gotta like live rough for a while
15:06Alyssa
15:07This is Chris
15:08I wanna go ahead and say
15:09Please don't do any of that
15:10Well I wanna say
15:11I have a bachelor's of science
15:13In industrial engineering
15:14And I'm holding a fucking
15:15So drop out of school
15:18Here's the thing
15:19I asked Alyssa to participate in the show
15:21Emailed with her mother
15:22I was like
15:22We're gonna have comedians on
15:23She'll be able to call up and talk to them
15:25And she only calls up
15:26And has wildly inappropriate things said to her
15:28I feel really bad
15:29You're a good sport
15:32But you know what
15:32You're part of a bit
15:34That you can't get out of
15:35This is a bit
15:36You can't get out of it
15:37No
15:37No
15:38Why doesn't Alyssa ever come down here
15:40Yeah Alyssa come
15:41Because I think with your behavior alone
15:43That's not a good idea
15:44Shadda
15:44Anybody else
15:45I might throw up right
15:47It hurts
15:49Drop it man
15:49Alright Alyssa
15:50So
15:50Oh the human fish is eating his onion again
15:52Oh my god
15:54Oh he put it down
15:55Is it where it caught you
15:57I gave him mine too
15:58If you're done with yours
15:59He'll eat it
15:59Alyssa
16:02So we're sorry that
16:03That freak out sucks
16:03Dolphin is willing to help out
16:05He is a trained engineer
16:06Anything else we can help you with
16:07Um not particularly
16:09Alright well
16:11Matt Mayer has been drawing you
16:12I forgot completely to ask questions
16:14I apologize Matt
16:15That's going to happen over and over again
16:16Alyssa thank you for the call
16:17Matt let's go ahead and see your impression
16:19Based on what she sounds like
16:21Of Alyssa
16:21Wow
16:2316 years old
16:24Innocent
16:25Oh jeez
16:26That got creepy
16:27But I like to draw it
16:28If they find this in your basement
16:30You're in trouble
16:31Yeah
16:32IL let's see
16:33What did Matt look like
16:34While he was drawing that
16:35Alright
16:37Very similar to last time
16:39Wonderful
16:39Thank you so much
16:41Will we ever see photos of the people that Matt drew
16:44Oh yeah
16:45If you're
16:46Alyssa and um
16:47Christy
16:48If you're there
16:49And you want to send pictures on Twitter
16:50So we can compare
16:51Our uh drawings to your photos
16:53Please do
16:54Let us know
16:54If you uh
16:55If you got that in though
16:56We got
16:56Matt Porter on the computer
16:58He'll look out for that
16:58In the meantime
16:59I gotta draw a costume
17:00Very tough
17:00I got the bunny rabbit
17:02That's not the worst one
17:03Can we acknowledge how well I did
17:06Because I did really well
17:07Bethany you did very well
17:08Wait wait wait
17:09I have a question about this
17:10It's down to Don and Will
17:11And Husky
17:12And Husky
17:13Oh and Husky
17:13Oh wait
17:14Like if
17:14If like two people drop out
17:16I'm the only one left
17:16Can I drop it
17:17Or I have to wait the whole hour
17:18No I think
17:19Winner
17:19Right
17:20No what do you think
17:21Does Winner have to continue
17:22Or does Winner get to
17:24Winner has to continue
17:25That makes sense
17:26That's a real winner
17:28Okay
17:30Who else got one
17:31So the fish
17:32Fish put the dog costume down
17:33This looks like a hat
17:34No more
17:34Will is out
17:35It is down to Don
17:37And Husky
17:37Oh my god
17:38We are less than ten minutes
17:40Into an hour long show
17:41And this bit is almost over
17:42The only bit we have
17:43Thank you Noah
17:44Okay so what if you win
17:45But then you let it down
17:47Before the hour's up
17:48Really?
17:52That's what Noah said
17:53That's what Noah said
17:55That's what he said
17:55Oh fucking Bethany
17:57You got the ninja one
17:57That's the coolest one
17:58I'm done
17:59You're done
18:00Yeah
18:00So now it's just Husky
18:02So now it's just Husky
18:02So now it's just Husky
18:02So now it's just Husky
18:02So now it's just Husky
18:03So now it's just Husky
18:04So now it's just Husky
18:05How much is this
18:06You just being like
18:07I want my dignity
18:08I don't want to have to wear a costume
18:09You know what
18:10At this point in my career
18:11What I'm trying to do
18:12Is I'm trying to create
18:12Like buzzworthy clips
18:14On the internet
18:14I think somebody watching me
18:17Hold an onion for like
18:18More than 10 minutes
18:19Is going to go viral fast
18:20You know
18:21So I'll be honest
18:23That's the only reason I'm here
18:24Is like to get some
18:25I can also say
18:26Seeing the costume
18:27The only one left
18:29Is an adult sized baby costume
18:31So you should hold on
18:33Dear life it sounds like
18:34I dress like that a lot
18:36I think I might be a monkey
18:37Alright
18:38You don't even know what you are
18:40Cool let's go ahead
18:41It says monkey
18:42But it looks like a pig
18:43It's a pig
18:43Yeah you're a pig
18:44Well it says monkey
18:45Alright so
18:47Read the documentation
18:48I'm clearly a monkey
18:50I wanted to give a quick shout out
18:52Take your random gene
18:53High university
18:54Industrial engineers
18:55That's what I'm doing
18:56With my life right now
18:57Go ahead
18:58Let's see if we've gotten
18:59Any more drawings
18:59Yeah do we have any drawings
19:00That have come in
19:01Oh look at this
19:02Wow
19:03Abraham Lincoln sang
19:04I love me some deer
19:05Who sent
19:07Oh our friend from Richmond
19:09Slow hat
19:09That's very nice
19:10That's a weird one
19:11Oh someone drew a pretzel
19:12Nate Metz sent us a pretzel
19:16Chris Gethard the pretzel
19:17Oh look
19:18Husky how are you doing this
19:19I'm about to go
19:20Oh look
19:21One came in from Detroit
19:22The internet is sketchy
19:24You make it better
19:25Love Detroit
19:26That's very very nice
19:27Wow
19:28Is that you?
19:29Yeah I think that
19:30That's you with like
19:33It looks like an old lady
19:33Wow
19:35Oh you got a dick nose
19:36My nose is just two testicles
19:39And a shaft
19:40Who drew that one?
19:43Andy GJ Conway
19:44Thank you guys all so much
19:44If you are watching drawings
19:45Let's go ahead
19:47Let's keep our eye on them
19:48We're going to get to more calls
19:49In a minute
19:49We're going to get to more drawings
19:50In a minute
19:51He wants an onion
19:51Alright
19:52So here's a question
19:54Oh Brian's done
19:55That's it guys
19:55All before our first musical break
19:57Wow
19:58That's dumb
19:59It was dumb
20:00And now we have no bits left
20:02For the rest of the show
20:03Awesome
20:03Okay let's vamp on these costumes
20:05You're not going with the second half
20:07Oh no
20:08Oh give me all of it
20:09In the meantime
20:10So wait
20:11Now you guys are all going to come on me
20:12Or what happens?
20:15Let's get some more
20:16All right
20:20While Brian's putting that on
20:22I'm very very psyched
20:23To welcome our musical guest
20:24Let's focus up people
20:27Because this guy's about to throw down
20:28Yeah clearly let's focus up
20:29I'm a pig monkey
20:32You are
20:33Half pig half monkey
20:34Our musical guest tonight
20:36Very very very happy to welcome
20:38Part of the Slang Corp crew
20:40We've had some of those guys on before
20:41You can check his stuff out
20:42Slangcorp.com
20:43Check out his individual stuff
20:45Under the G. Wallace section
20:46He's got the indoor kids with shape
20:47Let's go ahead
20:48Get up on your feet
20:49Let's get ready to throw down a dance
20:51Ladies and gentlemen
20:52Welcome to the stage
20:53G. Wallace
20:54Thank you
20:57Yeah yeah he is again
20:59That's me
20:59And there's you
21:00And I dig all you cats out there
21:03Whipping and wailing
21:03And jumping up and down
21:05And sucking up that fine juice
21:07And patting each other on the back
21:08And telling each other
21:09Who the greatest cat in the world is
21:11But I'm not going to put a cat on you
21:14Was the sweetest
21:16Goneest
21:18Wailingest cat
21:20That ever stomped on this sweet swinging sphere
21:24And they called you
21:26Y'all cats
21:27She she she she she she she she she she
21:28Wallace
21:29Wallace
21:29Yo
21:30I'ma get up on a mic
21:31Can't exhibit a willing ability
21:32To bring a planet alive
21:33You see me shining
21:33A bright man with the right plan
21:34Who get up and like the jam
21:35Like I can
21:36B-A-B-Y-G-E-G-E-S
21:37Sprag a thesis
21:37On our stage
21:38And remain demeanous
21:39And I live in here with
21:39Chemical Sam
21:40I rock a bike in defense
21:40I love a decision
21:41I'ma make an example
21:42That I cruise like the disc
21:43I'm too nice at this
21:43But don't bite the dick
21:44I recite the shit
21:45That just make you lose your mind
21:46When you rhyme
21:47More than I'm memory times
21:48Let it be designed
21:48To cleverly combine
21:49Elemental name
21:50And then we'll follow me
21:50To find only for speculation
21:51Call the station
21:52Tell them G-Dot
21:53Gonna rock the nation
21:54It will stop amazing
21:54You feel sensational
21:55In the zone
21:56You know I came to do
21:57Work to get soul
21:57And everybody can troll
21:58The body making it
21:59Sweat like heat
21:59Cause nobody
22:00Copped or chops
22:00To rock the spot like this
22:01On the mic
22:02Little boys call the diapers
22:03I mean sacrifices
22:04I recite this
22:04I went in when it disappears
22:05What's your vote crisis
22:06Set it off
22:06Watch me denim
22:07Can't catch the beat
22:08Then forget them
22:09Wanna knock me off
22:10But don't let them
22:10And I know my God
22:11Given everything to upset them
22:12Don't point the finger at me
22:13Cause it reminds you
22:14Of what you can be
22:15You can try to slam
22:15You can rep for me
22:16But I ain't going on
22:17Think you understand me
22:18Like
22:18They wanna do this
22:19Make some noise
22:20Just get the show
22:21They wanna make it
22:23The radio with a video
22:24And they want that
22:25You suck him before
22:26They give him now
22:29Yo
22:30Don't think
22:30And just react
22:31Or bust the facts
22:32Never kickin'
22:32Nothin' whack
22:33Yo
22:33Don't look
22:33Cause I'm already gone
22:34Songs about putting
22:35Everybody be gone
22:36Don't speak
22:36Dodge or grill
22:37The ball and nail
22:38Something that you all can feel
22:39Don't try
22:39Just fuck your back
22:40Most soul
22:41And align that
22:41You're inside your track
22:42Don't think
22:42And just react
22:43Or bust the facts
22:44Never kickin'
22:44Nothin' whack
22:45Yo
22:45Cause I'm already gone
22:46Songs about putting
22:47Every part of me on
22:48Don't speak
22:48Dodge or grill
22:49The ball and nail
22:50Something that you all can feel
22:51Don't try
22:51Cause I just fuck your back
22:52Most soul
22:53And align your
22:53Came in the game
22:54Proclaiming
22:55A name containing
22:56A brain to be shaming
22:56A name maintaining
22:57A drain
22:57Your lifeless
22:58Priceless
22:58Style's insane
22:59And remain in the nicest
23:00Act like you heard of this
23:01Seen that's your way
23:02That I murdered this
23:03With every word of this
23:04Growing further
23:05Absurd with this
23:06And I bet your life
23:06It'll get your hype
23:07No question
23:08The way
23:08God be blessed
23:08And I might get
23:09Another short of impeccable
23:10Something sort of regrettable
23:10Getting me to modern
23:11And sort of competitors
23:12With ease
23:12They work to me
23:13Can't find another
23:14Rhyming don't be serving me
23:15In my name
23:15Coming out your mouth
23:16Purposely
23:16Get out the whole crowd
23:17You're the need emergency
23:17Now who's sick of you know
23:18Mama taking the flow
23:19Would be the reason
23:19Not your girlfriend
23:20And taking the flow
23:21Different genies
23:21Give you what your wishes for
23:22G-Wallace kicking out your front
23:23No
23:23Thank you
23:24Ladies and gentlemen
23:28Normally our crowd dances
23:32I feel like all of them
23:33Were standing in awe
23:34At the speed with which you rap
23:36Insane
23:37Thank you so much
23:38We'll have you back for more
23:39In a few minutes
23:40G-Wallace ladies and gentlemen
23:41I don't know how that's physically possible
23:46What he just did
23:46Was he actually saying words
23:48Or was it just kind of
23:48Those were all words
23:49Yeah
23:49Really
23:50Are you saying words
23:50You're just saying stuff
23:51Right
23:52It's like that
23:53So people hear certain stuff
23:54They're like
23:55Oh he's talking
23:55He's singing about appliances
23:56This is awesome
23:57Like that's what I heard
23:58And I know everybody else
23:59Had like a different take on it
24:00Right
24:00No I heard appliances
24:02Yeah you heard appliances too
24:03Yeah
24:03Like chemo ranges and stuff
24:06Yeah
24:06Zenith
24:06Yep
24:07Weber grill
24:08Is this like a weird
24:10Are you doing promotion stuff
24:12On the show
24:12Like invented promotions
24:14None of that
24:14None of that
24:15I think we should go ahead
24:16And take a call
24:17Let's see
24:19Do we have any callers
24:20On the line
24:21Welcome to the Chris Gethard show
24:22How you doing
24:23Hey how you doing
24:25Who's this
24:26Hi it's Joe from Queens
24:28Oh Joe from Queens
24:29Hold on
24:31Everybody hold on
24:33How you doing over there
24:34Joe from Queens first
24:35Give us a sentence or two
24:36About yourself
24:37So Matt can draw you
24:38While you talk
24:39Oh
24:39Oh boy
24:41A description
24:42So that Matt knows
24:43What to draw
24:43Asshole
24:44Ok 6'2", 10, athletic build, blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, pretty good jawline
24:58Ok I think we got enough I think we got enough now I got a question are you at Joe from Queens on Twitter or is that another guy who has stolen your thing
25:06No that's me
25:07No that's me
25:08That is you
25:09Oh so you are kind of just an asshole
25:11Excuse on
25:12I
25:13That's your opinion
25:14It is my
25:15That's your opinion
25:16Yeah that's my opinion
25:17So let's go ahead let's talk
25:18Do you have anything you want to talk about tonight about the internet
25:20Anything about you
25:21I just love that old sourpuss who's a chicken head tonight
25:25Cause it goes great with her
25:27So you have had a
25:28That old sourpuss who's a chicken head
25:31And
25:32I can't hear you
25:33You have to talk up
25:34Don't be nervous
25:35I'm not talking about Joe
25:36I don't talk up to you
25:37I talk down to you Joe from Queens
25:40Alright sweetheart
25:41Take it easy
25:42I got a funny story actually about the internet
25:44Ok let's hear it Joe
25:45Hang up on Joe from Queens
25:46No no no no
25:47Let's hear Joe's story Joe
25:49What's your story
25:50Alright well basically I was on that uh
25:53Uh chat roulette
25:54I got Vance from that
25:56So I had to do another one
25:58Uh I found this one called a Megle
26:01It's just as good
26:02They don't ban you for being nude or nothing
26:04So I'm on there for about two hours looking for chicks
26:08Finally find one
26:09Here I am talking to this Filipino brought up
26:11Up in the Philippines
26:12And uh she's uh you know
26:14She's getting a little frisky
26:15Taking the top off
26:16Showing me you know
26:17Her teddies or whatever
26:19I'm you know
26:20I'm showing her the goods
26:21The sausage
26:22And then she's telling me some weird stuff
26:24Uh would you like me if I was a boy
26:26Stuff like this
26:27And I'm you know
26:28I'm just getting into it
26:29Trying to bullshit with
26:30And I said yeah God bless you
26:31Whatever you are
26:32You know just show me your asshole
26:33Or whatever
26:34So she pulls down her
26:35Where you are
26:36She looks at her
26:37She pulls down her panties
26:38And she got a
26:39She got a choppin
26:40I'm like whoa
26:41Whoa
26:42Madone I can't do with this
26:43So basically I just signed off
26:45Right then I got the shakes
26:46I was you know
26:47I was jerking
26:48You got the shakes
26:49And you grabbed your dick Joe
26:50From the face
26:52Well all that means is you're gay
26:54I don't know if that means I'm gay or not
26:56Or but basically that's what happened
26:58And I had the shakes for an hour
27:00So God bless everybody
27:01Have a good night
27:02Hey chicken hat
27:03You're looking good tonight
27:04In your usual hoodie
27:05Usual hoodie sweatshirt
27:06I love what you're doing
27:07In your sneakers
27:08God bless you
27:09Now Joe you always call up a tournament Shannon
27:11What do we gotta do
27:12To get you to come down to the studio
27:14I don't know
27:15I think about
27:16I'll email you Christopher
27:17Don't worry
27:18I'll email you one time
27:19You know don't worry about it
27:22So weird
27:23Joe from Queens
27:24Thank you for the call
27:25It's every
27:26It's the weirdest part
27:27He's a master deflector
27:28He's a strange man
27:30Yeah
27:31I have no idea if it's a bit
27:32You're like fucking Mayweather
27:33You're a fucking asshole
27:34And you don't answer the real questions
27:35Well let's go ahead and see him
27:36Matt you drew Joe from Queens
27:38While he was talking
27:39Let's see it
27:40It's a nice asshole
27:41Awesome
27:42A human asshole
27:43Is that what that is right?
27:44Matt
27:45Look at that jawline Joe from Queens
27:47Look at that slender build Joe from Queens
27:51Look at that six foot two asshole Joe from Queens
27:55And Mayweather
27:56What did Matt look like while drawing Joe from Queens
27:59Let's go ahead and see it
28:00He was probably annoyed that he had to waste his time
28:01There we go
28:02Wow
28:03Look at that
28:04David
28:05Do you do some different stuff each time?
28:07That's your paint
28:08What is that?
28:09Paint or watercolor?
28:10What is it?
28:11Ink
28:12Wow
28:13Looking better and better
28:14It's so weird
28:15People with talent
28:16Let's go back to the phones
28:17We got another caller on the line
28:18We're the ones on camera but that's happening
28:20Who's this?
28:21Hi this is Connor Ratliff
28:22Hey
28:23Connor Ratliff
28:24I'm calling you from St. Louis Missouri where I just left a campaign rally slash ball game at Bush Stadium
28:35This was attended by over 40,000 people
28:38Wow
28:39Congratulations
28:40Connor Ratliff is a friend of ours
28:41He announced his presidential candidacy on the show about a month ago
28:44Congratulations
28:45Connor how's everything out on the campaign trail?
28:47It's going amazing
28:48People are so excited about this campaign they can't wait for me to be president
28:52Yeah
28:53Well I'm really glad that it's going well
28:56I have a question
28:57Yeah
28:58I have a question for you
28:59Yes
29:00These 40,000 people at Bush Stadium were they aware that it was one of your campaign stops before they bought tickets to the baseball game that occurred there?
29:08I mean I can't verify that but I have to assume they were aware they were cheering so loudly
29:13Were they cheering like at moments that things were happening during the baseball game?
29:18Yeah I mean there were some weird coincidences
29:20I think that's kind of like a Pink Floyd, Wizard of Oz, Dark Side of the Moon type of thing
29:27Wow
29:28I know at one point the entire crowd was standing up in a wave around the stadium and my heart was swelling with pride
29:35Did they know you were there? I mean
29:38Yes, I was looking around I was passing out buttons people were definitely aware
29:43I mean I didn't get to everybody but
29:45How many people did you pass out buttons to?
29:47At least a dozen people but you know I'm trying to be
29:50I didn't have a lot of buttons with me
29:53Fair enough
29:54How much have you raised in donations so far?
29:57I'm sorry pardon me what?
29:58It was just a question from Random Gene
30:00Don't even worry about it Connor
30:01Don't even worry about it
30:03I understand that we've got a campaign video of yours that you're calling up to
30:07to promote and let us know that you're about to launch another one
30:10That's correct
30:11And I understand the theme tonight is the internet, yes?
30:14Yes, we're asking people for stories of things that have happened to them via the internet
30:18Okay, well I have a great one
30:19I have a great internet story
30:20Okay
30:21I have a Twitter account which is 35RatLift2012
30:25Yes
30:26That's the story
30:28A lot of people will follow your campaign twitter, 35RatLift2012
30:32That's right
30:33In the meantime, Matt has drawn a pretty amazing likeness of you already it seems
30:39So we'll go ahead and see that
30:41Connor, I want to thank you for the call
30:43Thank you so much
30:44Good luck out on the campaign trail
30:46Thank you, thank you
30:47Let's go ahead and check out Connor Ratliff's latest campaign video
30:51I'm 36 years old
30:52The United States Constitution says you have to be at least 35 years old in order to be president
30:58Well, I did that
30:59I was 35 for an entire year
31:02Now I'm 36
31:04Which gives me another year to reflect upon the things I learned being 35
31:08And by the time I'm 37
31:11I will have the wisdom and perspective that I perhaps lacked at the tender age of 35
31:15But I won't be so far away from that age that I will have lost that special, magical quality that the founding fathers had in mind
31:23When they chose the number 35 is what we can only presume they thought was the perfect age to be president
31:29My name is Connor Ratliff and I'm 36 years old
31:33That's old enough to be president
31:35Paid for by Citizens for a president in his mid to late 30s
31:38All right, Connor Ratliff, ladies and gentlemen, running for president
31:46I happily endorse Connor Ratliff
31:48I think he's the man for the job
31:50I hope he takes it in 2012
31:52Let's go ahead, let's see if we have any, do we have pictures coming in?
31:55Matt Porter on the computers back here
31:57The number one fan, okay, sweet and simple
32:00Walter, Walter drew that first
32:02The number one fan, our only fan
32:04Let's see what else we got
32:05Oh, Joe from Ohio drew a picture of me reading erotic fiction
32:09That's very nice, thank you for that Joe
32:11Oh, human fish!
32:13You got one that I think is kind of accurate
32:15The body, not so much, but the face, they, okay, I'll buy it
32:19The body is a flux capacitor
32:23Anything else coming in Porter? Should we move on?
32:26That's just, that's a person with glasses
32:31Okay, who drew that?
32:33I'll never know, okay, that black
32:35That black
32:36Wait, this is me jumping out of a plane landing on MNN Studios?
32:41I wish that was the way I arrived here every day
32:43But thank you so much for the drawing
32:45Happy to have all that, that's from Danny Naba
32:47Thank you for that
32:48In the meantime, do we have any callers on the line?
32:50Caller, welcome to the Chris Gethardt Show
32:51How can we help you tonight?
32:52Smoke weed
32:55Oh shit, it's our friend Sean who always smokes weed and calls the show
32:59So what can we, what can we talk about with you tonight Sean?
33:02Yo, I got an internet story, yo
33:05Okay, we're listening man
33:07One time, yo, I was, one time I was trying to buy weed on Craigslist
33:11And, uh, it worked
33:17Is that the story?
33:20Yeah, yeah, it worked
33:22Yo, hold up, hold up, I got a question for, uh, for Will Hines, man
33:27Alright, yeah
33:29Hey, yo, Will
33:31Yeah
33:32When are we gonna smoke?
33:33Uh, you know, sometime, I think, that'd be fine
33:38Alright
33:40Chris Gethardt, I'm out, come to ratchet for president, legalize weed, son
33:45Alright, thank you for the call Sean
33:49I don't know if you noticed this, but, uh, you know, you described him as someone who always smokes weed and calls
33:54Most of the things he talked about had to do with weed
33:56Yeah, what's your fucking problem?
33:58I'm trying to help connect the dots, you know, I'm just kinda like
34:00I think everybody got that
34:02Okay
34:03Can we also give a round of applause, Mimi is a goddamn champion in the bag
34:06Woo!
34:08This whole show, pretty incredible
34:11Yep, yeah, that's been happening
34:13Do you have another caller on the line?
34:15You had no idea there was someone back there?
34:17I have a very different picture of my mind
34:19I think we have another caller on the line, caller, welcome to the show, how can we help you?
34:24Call down your, you gotta turn down your TV
34:27Hey, you're in a feedback loop, you're freaking out
34:28Hello?
34:30You got the awkward song, you got the awkward song, come on
34:33We made it awkward, so we have to do the awkward song to cover for you
34:37Hello, did you turn down your TV?
34:39Yes, hello?
34:40Yeah, what's up?
34:42Hey, I just, uh, an internet story, I was looking at your videos on YouTube and CollegeHumor
34:47and, uh, I just, uh, stumbled upon your website, found your, uh, show online by accident
34:55Okay, hold on, just, tell us something about yourself so my friend Matt can draw you while you talk
35:00What should he know about you to draw you?
35:02I've been stung by a jellyfish?
35:03He's been stung by a jellyfish
35:04He's been stung by a jellyfish
35:06Matt, you can draw that, right?
35:08Got it, so, we, uh, we like that you found the show
35:11Anything, uh, anything in particular you want us to talk about besides that?
35:16Uh, nah, just, just let you guys know, I'm a big fan
35:20Don Finnelli seems hilarious, uh, according to his videos about him
35:25Going on man-dates, I guess
35:27Yeah, yeah, cool
35:29Dates with men
35:31Dates with men, cause it's stuff
35:32Anything else, anything other?
35:34Yeah, I mean, it was since 2005, industrial engineer
35:36Uh, I kinda forgot what I was gonna say
35:40That's okay, man
35:41I'm just, I'm just wondering, uh, is there gonna be another revenge video on Will Hines?
35:44Oh
35:45No, I think that's done, he's, you're referencing videos we did a while ago
35:48Will and I have put our feud to rest
35:50Now I'm just gonna dress as a bunny, he's gonna dress as a monkey and we're gonna get along
35:55Are there any other videos we've done that viewers of this actual show haven't seen that you'd like to discuss?
36:03Uh, what do you mean? Can you be done?
36:06Nothing, if we, I feel like, uh, if we don't have anything else to talk about I might say goodnight and thank you for the call
36:12Sorry about that, but
36:13No!
36:14Don't feel bad, man, we just like that you called
36:16Is that how you, you treat your first time callers?
36:18Come on, man
36:19When they come in the door, you're like, alright, fuck you, you blew it, you're out the door
36:22I didn't say any of that, you said that
36:23That's completely what you're implying
36:24I worked through it, we tried to get something going, I did my best and I said thank you for the call
36:29You just lost one
36:30Have a good night, I was not an asshole to that man
36:32You can make it back right now
36:33You know I'm gonna feel genuinely guilty
36:35You guys, we don't need to have this discussion
36:37No
36:38Do these costumes have bed bugs?
36:39Do these costumes have bed bugs?
36:40We're talking about your audience
36:41I know
36:42Did we check this shit for bed bugs?
36:43No, they're fresh out of the bag though
36:45Human fish, what's on your mind, yo?
36:47Manhattan cable access
36:56Versus Manhattan public access
36:59Wow
37:04A huge laugh just came from our control room
37:07Who wins?
37:08Cable access versus public access
37:10Cable access
37:13I don't know if you just got us in trouble, I have no idea
37:16Yeah
37:17That's a good thing
37:18Also Matt, let's see what you thought that last guy looked like
37:22Okay, okay
37:23Is that his eye?
37:24Is that a monstro?
37:25I like it
37:26Is that his eye stung by jellyfish?
37:27That's like an almond eye
37:28It looks like a whale
37:29It looks like a whale eye
37:30Yeah
37:31It's a clam eye
37:32Well he's clearly under water
37:33I mean
37:34Yeah, oh yeah
37:35He's being stung by jellyfish
37:36Oh, great call
37:37Great call
37:38So abstract
37:39Yeah
37:40So all of that is yes
37:41It's pretty clear
37:42Yeah
37:43It's a whale
37:44What did Matt look like while he drew that?
37:49Okay
37:50Okay, more blue than last time
37:52More blue than last time
37:54Check
37:55Oh, we got some tweets coming in
37:56Let's see
37:57We got pictures
37:58A giraffe someone drew
37:59Let's see
38:00What we can get
38:04Oh, me with the bunny suit on
38:05Who drew that?
38:08Okay
38:09Okay
38:10Matt
38:11You?
38:12Was that you?
38:13You drew that while back there?
38:14Well, I feel like there's got to be a wiser use for your time as a person working on this show
38:20Is there anything else that came in?
38:23It's a giraffe
38:24Just a giraffe?
38:25Okay
38:26Just a neck
38:27What else do we got?
38:28Saw that
38:29Saw that one
38:30And I want to hear some real stories
38:31There's some people
38:32Random Gene doing a split
38:33Oh, a picture of Random Gene doing a split from our friend Sandy
38:35That's great
38:36Look at that
38:37I know there's creepier internet stories
38:39I remember when I was in college
38:41This guy on the internet who I didn't know
38:42Used to just always challenge me to fights
38:44Guy used to challenge me to fights
38:46And one time I told him to meet me at this corner
38:48And then I watched from my apartment window
38:50As this man stalked around on a corner
38:52This man who challenged me to fights on the internet
38:54Was he a big guy?
38:55No, he was a real wiry looking
38:56He had like a mullet
38:57He was like a strange looking sort of trashy dude
38:59Yeah
39:00Anybody else?
39:01I have a...
39:02It's not a really good story
39:03That's okay
39:04But I was feeling really down
39:07Cause I was like
39:08Oh, boys don't like me
39:10So I signed up for Match.com
39:12And I got asked on like 35 dates
39:15And I never really went on them
39:17But that made me feel better
39:19You went on none of the 35 dates
39:21But it just felt good to be wanted
39:23So you felt esteem
39:24You felt some...
39:25You had like a self esteem thing
39:27And then rejected 35 men to make yourself feel better
39:30That works, right?
39:32And 35 other public access shows
39:34There's guys like
39:35My heart got broken
39:36Yeah
39:37That's their internet story
39:38I always wonder if like females go on there just to have sex
39:41Cause there's gotta be a bunch of dudes
39:42Yeah, I...
39:43Just to fuck, right?
39:44I know, we gotta hear some internet stories from creeps, man
39:47Let's do it
39:48Do we have callers on the line?
39:49Caller?
39:50Welcome to the Chris Gethard Show
39:51You're on the...
39:54Hey!
39:56Alright, who's this?
39:57Hi, how you doing?
39:58This is Bobby
39:59Bobby, what's going on?
40:01What can we talk about tonight?
40:03Um...
40:04Wait, I just got a quick question
40:05What's that guy's name on the end?
40:07With the elephant costume?
40:09Yeah
40:10That's Don Finelli
40:11Oh, hi Don
40:13Hi Bobby
40:16Why?
40:17What's up Bobby?
40:18No, he's just really, really hot
40:20Thanks Bobby
40:21I guess I have a funny story
40:24Um...
40:25I'm sorry, he's just really hot
40:27Is there any way he can just lift his shirt up on camera?
40:29Wow
40:30We have a response
40:32There you go
40:34No time
40:35Just keep it like that for a minute
40:36Just keep it like that for a minute
40:37Just keep it like that for a minute
40:38Okay, Bobby, are you doing your business right now?
40:40Yeah, just keep it like that
40:42Are you jerking off to me right now Bobby?
40:43Everybody stay quiet, quiet, quiet
40:44Nobody talk, nobody talk
40:45Bobby, take us through this, be verbal
40:47I'm sorry?
40:48We're gonna all be quiet so you can do whatever it is you're doing
40:52Just take us through it, be verbal about it
40:54Oh, okay, can he just put his elbow off his left elbow?
40:59Like put it towards the ceiling, yeah, a little higher
41:04A little higher than that
41:06Okay, right there
41:08Now with your other hand, try to do like a circular motion
41:11Oh my god, no, no, don't touch the body
41:15No, no, don't touch the body, don't touch the body
41:17Don't touch the body
41:18Don't touch the body
41:19Just a circular phone
41:20Okay, this sounds really good
41:23Okay
41:24Okay, that's all I needed
41:26That's it?
41:27That's all you need Bobby, honestly?
41:28Because we'll keep going
41:29No, that's
41:30Oh my god, that's all I needed
41:32Thank you
41:33Let's go back to Twitter, let's see
41:34We got anything else going on?
41:36Oh, Nick Fytel points out
41:38Banana Man and Rob Malone switched costumes tonight
41:42Yeah, I noticed that
41:43Everybody for a loop
41:44Banana Man is not the usual Banana Man
41:46There is someone
41:47Hold the phone
41:49Someone started a Twitter account called Geth Artist
41:52And they said a book they wrote for me
41:54Matt Porter, can we see that one?
41:55Geth Artist
41:57Oh, that's Jackie's
41:59Jackie is here tonight
42:01I don't know how she drew that from here
42:02But good job
42:04Let's see, I want to know what Geth Artist is
42:07Is this?
42:08That's the human fish
42:09Oh, that's the human fish dealing with aliens
42:15Jake Paul and us putting up screen shots
42:18Let's see the shows going on
42:19Nothing from Geth Artist
42:20We can't get Geth Artist
42:22That was Jake
42:24There it is
42:25Can we get that one?
42:27Somebody's weird
42:28Well, that didn't work out at all
42:31When we get that one, we'll go back to it
42:33In the meantime
42:34They just hacked your account
42:36Just by opening that
42:38There we go, there it is
42:39See, it's happening right there
42:40Will Hines, Brian Husky
42:41Slash fiction?
42:43Oh, somebody made a book
42:45Somebody made a comic book
42:46Where Will Hines and Brian Husky fuck each other
42:49Slash fiction is erotic fan fiction
42:51So if there's multiple panels to this
42:53And we can see them all
42:54There's a dick on that person
42:56Mad Dick's son, Bunny Gethard
42:58You endorsed the book
43:00Yeah, I'm into this book
43:01They're assuming that you'll give a pull quote for that book
43:05Yeah, I'm into it
43:06Yeah, Matt Dick's on
43:07Right on the cover, that'll sell
43:09In the meantime, let's take another call
43:11Caller, you're on the air
43:12Welcome to the Geth Artist Show
43:13How can we help you?
43:14Hi, how you doing?
43:15I'm Andy Luca
43:17Hello, how you doing?
43:18Andy, great, we're good
43:19Can you tell us a couple things about yourself
43:20So Matt Mayer can draw you?
43:22I'll see, he probably knows what you look like
43:23I wear like black room glasses
43:25I have kind of a big nose
43:27Okay
43:28And I have like short curly brown hair
43:29Okay, well Matt's on that
43:32What can we talk to you about tonight
43:33As far as your call goes?
43:35A few quick things
43:36One, I got out of the way is
43:38This has been set before
43:39But I think Don Finale is a very beautiful person
43:41Thank you
43:42I think he's good looking as well, yeah
43:44Okay, the other thing is
43:46The main one is
43:47I want to apologize
43:48Because I tagged you on a picture on Facebook
43:50As James Woods a few months ago
43:52And you defriended me
43:53And I felt very bad
43:54And I want to apologize for it
43:55And I know I'm your shit list
43:56I do feel bad
43:58This guy, I didn't realize this was the same guy
44:01Tagged a picture of me
44:02And I went to look at it
44:03It was just a picture of James Woods
44:05And I got really sad
44:07Because I realized how much I do look like James Woods
44:10James Woods has got to be what?
44:11Like 70?
44:12Yeah, but he's pretty much
44:13Badass
44:14Like a young James Woods though
44:15I just have to say
44:16What about your dad?
44:17I don't know
44:18It made me feel really bad
44:19It was nothing against you Andy
44:20But I just felt really bad
44:22I didn't want to do that
44:23I felt really bad
44:24So I want to apologize
44:25Because that was the last thing I wanted to do
44:26Because I'm a fan of you
44:28Andy's a good guy
44:29I know he is
44:31Sometimes my thing with Facebook
44:32Is like
44:33I'll friend anybody
44:34But then if something questionable happens
44:35I'm like
44:36Alright, goodbye
44:37But you know what?
44:38Friend me again Andy
44:39We can be friends again
44:40I'm sorry I defriended you
44:41It's been done
44:42It's been done
44:43I want to be sorry
44:44Oh you snuck
44:45Or verbally
44:46Because this isn't a person
44:47Okay, well thank you
44:48One last thing though
44:49One last thing
44:50Sure
44:51Would you agree that the guy who's rapping
44:53Looks kinda like Birch Harms?
44:55I don't
44:56But nobody knows who Birch Harms is
44:57I would
44:58But he does though
44:59He does, yeah
45:00Yeah, okay, sure
45:01Alright, cool
45:02That was it, well thank you
45:03Thank you
45:04Thanks a lot Andy
45:05Thank you very much
45:07Let's go ahead and see what Andy looks like
45:09Matt Mayer
45:10Yep
45:11Great drawing
45:12Let's see
45:13Let's see
45:14Got to be
45:15Got to be
45:16Come on
45:17Got to be
45:18Yo
45:19Banana boy and he got to be
45:20Come on
45:21Give him a fist and he got to be
45:22Come on
45:23Grandadine has got to be
45:24Come on
45:25Husky and you got to be
45:26Come on
45:27Make noise
45:28Make noise
45:29Cause I'm not done
45:31Come on
45:32Come on
45:34Come on
45:35Come on
45:36Come on
45:38Come on
45:39To be real
45:40Got to be real
45:45Peace
45:46Gee Wallace
45:47No musician on this show has ever incorporated the people around him so successfully
45:54And can we mention literally tore the stage in half
45:56Literally tore the stage in half
45:57Literally tore the stage in half
45:58Gee Wallace, incredible
46:00Thank you for being here
46:02Two minutes left
46:03Two minutes left
46:04Do we have time for one more call do you think?
46:06No
46:07No more calls?
46:08Wow
46:09Alright parting thoughts
46:10Ryan Husky how did you enjoy your time on the show tonight?
46:12I gotta say this is kind of like it's pretty rickety what you're doing
46:17Pretty rickety
46:18Pretty rickety
46:19It's kind of like a collective of like kind of like needy like sadness
46:22Like everybody in a room together like making yourselves feel better and stuff
46:25Yeah
46:26Little you know xylophones
46:27But I think there's a place for that don't you think?
46:28You know what?
46:29Like from a network perspective it's never gonna work
46:31I'm just gonna go
46:32So we're never gonna make a dime on this
46:33It's gonna be a straight straight up
46:34Like I don't know if this is like some kind of pilot you're trying to do
46:37But like feedback
46:38What about the artistic merits of China?
46:39That's a load of shit in this town
46:41You know this town will eat you alive
46:43I'll let you know that much
46:44Yeah
46:45And if you come out to where I am which is you know another city
46:47But I like to think we provide like a safe haven for people who are
46:50You're saying like it's needy, sad people
46:52Yeah
46:53Those are our fans man
46:54That's who we want to entertain
46:55I would just think everybody in the room would hear about it
46:56I'll tell you this
46:57Most of them sound like they've tried to choke women before
46:59You know if they're a man
47:01And then the other ones just sound like they don't want to leave their rooms
47:04So you know I mean just
47:05Yeah
47:06That's feedback
47:07You know what?
47:08The Chris Gethard Show made me leave my room when I was depressed for three weeks
47:11We said
47:12Brian Husky
47:13You got to say a good night, you're right?
47:15I'm here too
47:16Brian thank you for your
47:17Thank you for the critiques
47:19At this point
47:20Yeah
47:21I gotta say thank you to everybody up on the panel
47:22Thanks to YLC
47:23Thanks for everybody being here
47:24Thanks for everybody being called
47:25Thank you Mac
47:26Thank you Mael
47:27Good night to everybody at M&M
47:29I'm very very psyched to you guys for getting the show out
47:31Just let me know we're just
47:33A very sad, dismal
47:35And beat Brian up
47:37You know what?
47:38Gotta wake up
47:39Gotta wake up
47:40Woo
47:41Thank you
47:42Fuck
47:43You see how much negativity she's drinking every show?
47:46You let that happen
47:47You know you're trying to make some kind of a
47:49All right
47:50Why'd you like me for the
47:52And get the best
47:53If you haven't seen the show you can see it
47:54I would've done the song
47:55I will do this
47:56I will do this
47:59Nice to everybody on our live stream
48:01Thanks for checking out the show
48:05Good night to everybody on our live stream.
48:17Thanks for checking out the show.
48:18You guys didn't really do it for.
48:20You read the word.
48:21Time is right.
48:21Let's go to San Pernodos.
48:24So we hope San Pernodos watching that night and enjoyed it.
48:27Have a great night.
Recommended
1:01:09
|
Up next
1:01:00
1:02:44
59:41
1:03:38
5:02
41:48
42:15
42:12
1:01:08
59:34
56:59
59:53
1:00:56
59:08
58:32
1:00:10
1:00:09
1:03:00