- 3 months ago
When Binghamton refuses to reimburse him for the loss of a coconut orchard, Chief Urulu puts a curse on the captain.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00All right, you guys, now let's keep the noise down out.
00:23Hey!
00:26Halt!
00:28Identify yourself!
00:30Halt!
00:31Halt!
00:32Uh...
00:33Advance if he recognized!
00:35Halt!
00:36Trainer Paul!
00:37Halt her on fire!
00:46Hey!
00:47Don't you know the rules?
00:48You're supposed to stop it.
00:49It's all right, Chuck.
00:50It's all right.
00:51I know the gentleman.
00:52Gentlemen!
00:53Commander, this happens to be a naval installation.
00:55And by his refusing to identify himself when confronted by a United States naval officer,
00:59constitutes a very serious breach of security.
01:02And we...
01:06Of course, on the other hand, if you say he's a gentleman...
01:12Chuck, fellas, I want you to meet Pali Urulu.
01:16He's a very important chief and number one witch doctor in these parts.
01:20Well...
01:21Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, chief.
01:22I'm pretty impor...
01:24Uh...
01:25Well, Urulu, uh...
01:26What are you doing down from the hills?
01:27Is there anything we can do for you?
01:29When you take island from Japan man, you cannon boats kill all my coconut trees.
01:35Now you pay.
01:36Hold it down, hold it down, hold it down, fellas.
01:40Well, uh...
01:41How much damage did, uh, happen to your trees, chief?
01:44One hundred thousand dollars, you give me.
01:47One hundred thousand dollars?
01:48One hundred thousand dollars?
01:49What?
01:50Well, well, how did you decide it a hundred thousand dollars?
01:53That figure nice and round, like coconut I lose.
01:59Excuse me just a minute, chief.
02:00Come here, fellas.
02:01Come here.
02:02Excuse me, chief.
02:03I don't know what to do.
02:05I don't know what to do.
02:06He's a very important man in more ways than one.
02:09I just can't tell him to get up and shove off.
02:12Well, why don't you do it according to regulations?
02:14I mean, go through channels.
02:15Endorse him on up to the next highest authority.
02:18To Binghamton?
02:19Why, he'd...
02:25He'd blow his top.
02:35Sorry, let's go.
02:55Oh, my Lord, I'd get back pandemics.
02:57Oh, my Lord, I'llize.
03:04$100,000?
03:06Why, that's the most unheard of bit of gold that I've ever heard of.
03:10Our pre-invasion bombardment did knock down a mess of coconut trees, sir.
03:14This whole mosquito trap of an island isn't worth $100,000.
03:20Hey, who is this creature?
03:22Just some gold brick salesman that you've teamed up with to defraud the government?
03:26Wait a minute, sir. This is Kaliurulu, a very influential man.
03:30Well, as far as I'm concerned, he's just some backwoods extortionist trying to work his way up into the big time.
03:36He's also a very famous witch doctor, sir.
03:38I don't care if he's a neurosurgeon.
03:41You pull anything like this again, and I'll throw you in the brig.
03:46You not give me money?
03:48Actually, sir, the man is within his rights, according to regulations.
03:51That's paragraph 10.
03:52Be quiet. Nobody likes a smart ensign.
03:55I'm just trying to point off.
03:56You can point out the door to this walking totem pole.
04:00That's what you can point out.
04:05Do you not give me money?
04:07You're lucky I don't give you 30 days.
04:10Now get out of here before your hat starts shedding on my floor.
04:13I don't care who your law firm is.
04:23Get out of here.
04:24What was that all about?
04:41What, what, what?
04:42Well, that, sir, was the malo malo curse.
04:45The what?
04:46Sir, he just put a curse on you.
04:48I put a curse on you.
04:53Is that the funniest thing you ever had on me?
04:56Captain, I'm not, I'm not saying I put anything on his curse business, sir, but, well, I've seen a ruler in action before the war.
05:03There was a rival chief at one time who claimed that he was a phony, and, uh, the last time I saw that chief, he was four feet tall and still shrinking, sir.
05:11Well, McHale, I've always known that you weren't very smart, but to think that you believe in witch doctors...
05:18Well, now, I don't say I believe, sir, but with the Rulu, well, it wouldn't hurt anything to call him back and slip him a few bucks.
05:25I'm running a naval base here, not a small claims court. Now, get out of here. I'm busy. And send Lieutenant Carpenter in.
05:33Anything you say, sir.
05:35Since when?
05:39Molly, Molly.
05:41Sticky, sticky, yay!
05:49Yes, sir?
05:50Oh, Lieutenant, that McHale tell you.
05:53Tell me what, sir?
05:53That big savage that just left you ain't put a curse on me.
05:57Oh?
05:57Well, maybe he's a Japanese secret weapon, sir.
06:00Ha! That's very good, Lieutenant.
06:02I thought so, too, sir. Thank you.
06:04Well, shall we just go along and inspect our new doctor?
06:07Is it a shame, sir?
06:13All right, Lieutenant. All right, let's go.
06:16Where's the captain?
06:28Let's see, sir.
06:29This certainly is not your day.
06:31When I want your comments, Lieutenant, I'll ask for them.
06:40Here we go. Watch.
06:42Up!
06:42Oh, that's easy.
06:45Easy, eh?
06:46Yeah.
06:47Okay, Fuge. How come you're holding out on us?
06:49Where'd you get that pigeon?
06:50Pigeon?
06:50Yeah.
06:51How about that?
06:55Hey, you guys!
06:56Pronto!
06:58Hey, Tinker!
07:02It's a pit.
07:03I gotta tell you what happened.
07:06Hey, Skip, you know that curse you really put on Captain Binghamton?
07:11Yeah.
07:12It's starting to work like gangbusters.
07:14Tell him, Tink!
07:15Well, Binghamton was inspecting the new doc,
07:17and he worked a plunk right into the drain.
07:19Anybody can fall off a doc that doesn't have a guardrail.
07:22Oh, this doc has a guardrail.
07:24Binghamton went through it.
07:25Right on his...
07:26Are you sure?
07:27I saw it with my own gleeful eyes.
07:29I love that curse.
07:30Well, that's ridiculous.
07:31Taking a few unfortunate accidents
07:32and trying to link him to that silly native superstition.
07:35Yeah, well, if I were you,
07:36I wouldn't make any fun of Verulu's curse.
07:38Not while he's around.
07:40Heh.
07:40I don't know what I'd do with a three-foot ensign, buddy.
07:46Hey, Skip, don't tell me you believe in that native mumbo-jumbo.
07:48Are you kidding?
07:50Do I look superstitious?
07:52Yes!
07:54Speaking of mumbo-jumbo,
07:55the great Gruber,
07:56master of the legend of Maine,
07:57will now perform his most fabulous feat of all time.
07:59Oh, come on.
08:00She's got things to do.
08:01Well, yeah.
08:02I shall change this tiny seed
08:04into a full-grown mango tree
08:05right before your very eyes.
08:07Oh, this...
08:07Push it.
08:08Go ahead.
08:09You'll never do this.
08:10Full-grown mango tree.
08:11Full-grown.
08:11Go ahead.
08:12Nice little seed.
08:12Place it and set a little dirt over it.
08:15Put the cloth over it,
08:16a few magic words,
08:17Dabra-cadabra.
08:18Mango's up.
08:21Maybe you need a little water.
08:23That's it, Skip.
08:24Should've used water.
08:25Come on.
08:31Good morning, sir.
08:32Good morning, good morning.
08:33Ooh, ooh.
08:34Are you all right, sir?
08:36Are you all right?
08:37That stupid step is all right.
08:38I'll have it fixed immediately, sir.
08:39Take the cans off me.
08:40Sorry.
08:41What's the matter with you?
08:47Have to look!
08:49Well, did you ever see
08:50an engine overheat before?
08:52Oh, yes, sir.
08:53But I haven't started the motor yet.
08:54I suppose you think that those incidents out there
09:16were caused by that so-called curse.
09:18Well, let me tell you, mister,
09:20any time some half-naked savage
09:23can frighten Forty-Knot Binghamton.
09:25Oh, the thought never entered my mind, sir.
09:27And I suppose that you think
09:29that I should file your rule
09:30who's damaged claims against the government.
09:32Oh, no, sir.
09:33I don't think Washington would like it, sir.
09:35They'd hate it.
09:36They'd hate me.
09:37They'd think that I don't know
09:38how to run my base.
09:40You give me a straight answer now, mister.
09:42Do you put any credence
09:44in this silly curse business?
09:48There is no such thing as a curse, sir.
09:50Good man.
09:52There is absolutely, positively
09:54no such thing as a curse.
10:03Hold out.
10:04Just stand there, Carpenter.
10:06Get me form 35370A.
10:09Civilian damage claims
10:12against the name.
10:19Ahoy there, on the 73.
10:21There's good news tonight.
10:22Gather round one and all.
10:23Oh, what happened?
10:24Did Binghamton follow
10:25his fan tail again?
10:26This is important news.
10:27Skipper, I got a direct
10:28to my Washington contact.
10:30They're sending an admiral
10:30out with authority
10:31to relieve Captain Binghamton.
10:32Are you sure, Gruber?
10:33Has my on-the-ground network
10:34ever been wrong?
10:35Yes, sir.
10:36Chicken Binghamton
10:37is a dead duck.
10:38Hey!
10:38There's no way
10:40to talk about
10:40our commanding officer.
10:41You mean ex-commanding officer.
10:43All he has to do
10:44is goof off
10:44in front of Admiral Hawkins
10:45and who, who?
10:46Admiral Hawkins.
10:47That's the name
10:47of the guy
10:47they're sending out
10:48from Washington.
10:48You don't mean
10:49horrible Hawkins.
10:50Nah, name's Homer.
10:53That's the one.
10:54Horrible Hawkins.
10:55Oh, fine.
10:56What's wrong, Skipper?
10:58Oh, listen.
10:59Horrible Hawkins
11:00is not only ten times
11:01as chicken as Binghamton
11:03and a hundred times smarter.
11:05If he takes over, fellas,
11:07forget it.
11:08We're back in the Navy.
11:09Oh, no.
11:10Wait a minute.
11:11Wait a minute, man.
11:12Just because Hawkins
11:13runs a taut ship
11:14doesn't matter.
11:15Can't be a happy ship.
11:17Besides,
11:17there's nothing
11:17tautier than a hap ship.
11:19We're happy.
11:20We're pretty miserable.
11:23What are we going to do?
11:24Well, I don't know.
11:27It's going to kill you guys
11:28as much as it does me,
11:29but we're in a trap.
11:30Skip, if we don't want
11:31horrible Hawkins,
11:33we'll have to help Binghamton.
11:35What can we do, Skip?
11:36How can we get that curse off him?
11:38Now, how many times
11:39will I have to tell you guys
11:40there's no such thing
11:40as a curse?
11:41Yeah, well, let me know.
11:43I don't know.
11:43I said a lot of curses.
11:45I'm sorry, Groove.
11:47Holler, holler, holler.
11:49Holler, you ain't balls.
11:50Look, I don't want
11:51to pinch our burlesque for once.
11:53Wait a minute.
11:55That's it.
11:56Right.
11:57That's what?
11:58We're going to put
11:59the heck something up there, right?
12:00Yeah.
12:00Well, if we came up
12:01with a witch doctor,
12:02a better one than Urulu,
12:04we could convince Binghamton
12:05that the new one
12:05could take off the curse.
12:07Great, great.
12:08Where do we find
12:08another witch doctor?
12:09La, la, la, la, la, la.
12:16Now, wait a minute, Skip.
12:17You can do it, Groove.
12:19I don't look anything
12:20like a witch doctor.
12:21You look as much
12:22like a witch doctor
12:22as you do a sailor.
12:24Hey, Skip,
12:25Captain Binghamton
12:26wouldn't fall
12:26for anything like this.
12:27In his present frame of mind,
12:29he'd fall for anything.
12:29It's a cinch, Groove.
12:32All you got to do
12:33is a couple of magic tricks,
12:34some mumbo-jumbo
12:35and a little paint.
12:36And we got the paint!
12:38Then it's all set.
12:40I hereby christen you
12:41Goruliaba,
12:44chief head shrinker
12:46of the
12:47Kandulu tribe.
12:49I can do it!
12:55I can do it!
12:56I can do it!
13:04I don't have time
13:06to waste
13:06on your nonsense.
13:08Oh, I wouldn't want
13:09to waste your time, sir.
13:10What's those rocks, sir?
13:11Put me down.
13:11Well, but still,
13:15I don't think it pays
13:15to take chances, sir.
13:16Naturally,
13:17it's ridiculous
13:17to think that you've
13:18been cursed.
13:19Naturally, sir.
13:20Of course,
13:20I'll have you know
13:21that not a thing
13:21has happened to me
13:22all day.
13:22Well, good for you, sir.
13:24Oh, shut up.
13:25But still,
13:25it doesn't pay
13:26to take chances, sir.
13:28I've gone out
13:28and located the
13:29head witch doctor
13:30of the Kandulu tribe.
13:31He's a very important man.
13:33And he hates
13:35Sirulu, sir.
13:36So?
13:37So, he said
13:38he'd be delighted
13:38to take a Rulu's curse
13:39off of you, sir.
13:40Well, that is the curse
13:41you don't have on you, sir.
13:42Oh, no, McHale.
13:43You're not going
13:43to rope me in
13:44any more of your
13:45voodoo nonsense.
13:46I'm a scientific,
13:47rational man,
13:48and this is
13:48the 20th century.
13:49Yes, sir.
13:56Well, after you, sir.
13:57Oh, no.
13:58After you, McHale.
14:01Yes, sir.
14:05After you, Parker.
14:11Oh, well, sir,
14:12you outranked me.
14:13After you,
14:13I know who outranks who.
14:33Yes, sir.
14:36Dale.
14:37Take me to your witch doctor.
14:43I don't have too much rouge
14:44on, do I?
14:45Oh, no, you're just beautiful.
14:47You remind me
14:47of a blind date
14:48I had once.
14:49Hey, come on,
14:49you guys.
14:49You better finish up.
14:50The Captain Skip
14:51will be here any minute.
14:52Well, uh,
15:14this is it, sir.
15:15The sacred place.
15:16The Kondoulos think
15:17that the world
15:18was created
15:19right here.
15:20Boy,
15:21think of that.
15:23This is sacred place,
15:25the Kondoulos.
15:26This is absurd.
15:27I could just scream.
15:29Watch you.
15:29Yeah.
15:30Do it.
15:31Okay.
15:34It's all right, sir.
15:35It's all right.
15:35Now,
15:36Orulu's curse
15:36was big medicine.
15:37But Grugliaba
15:38assures us that, uh,
15:39well,
15:40it'll take even bigger medicine
15:41to take the curse
15:42off you, sir.
15:43Huh?
15:44Come on,
15:44let's go.
15:45Come on, let's go.
15:46Come on, let's go.
15:55Ah.
15:56Naba nani wani kolo.
15:58Anakaloa.
16:00Yeah.
16:01Hey,
16:01what did he say?
16:03Well, well, sir,
16:04he says that, uh,
16:05this is a very serious case,
16:06sir,
16:07and that your, uh,
16:07koloa naba
16:08is very, uh,
16:09nabu nana wana.
16:10He did?
16:11Yes, sir.
16:13Is it?
16:13Ah, yes, sir.
16:15Achoo!
16:16Achoo!
16:18Take a hologramma!
16:19You, honey!
16:20It's trying to
16:20us fix the idea.
16:21Oh, no, sir.
16:22It's some,
16:22it's some hano parter.
16:23It's kind of like
16:23a native penicillin.
16:24Yeah.
16:25Oh,
16:26hang on,
16:27you.
16:27I'm,
16:28I'm,
16:28I'm,
16:28I'm,
16:29I'm,
16:29I'm,
16:29I'm,
16:29I'm,
16:30I'm,
16:30I'm,
16:30I'm,
16:31I'm,
16:31I'm,
16:31get this bulture
16:32off of my head.
16:33Achoo!
16:34On that shakutu!
16:35Ah, yeah, yeah,
16:36you see he's transferring
16:36Arulu's curse
16:37to the chicken, sir.
16:38Ah, this is ridiculous.
16:40Huh?
16:43Ah!
16:43Here!
16:44Pun du mani kai!
16:45Pun du mani kai!
16:48What the hell?
16:49I must have been
16:49out of my mind
16:50to let you talk me
16:51into coming here.
16:52Oh, no, no, no, sir.
16:53Now, don't worry, sir.
16:54I, I,
16:55I guarantee you
16:55that Guglielmo
16:56will get rid of the curse
16:57and fast!
17:01I'm Admiral Hawkins.
17:03Where's your commanding officer
17:04and who are you?
17:05Lieutenant Comissor
17:06at your service, sir.
17:07Captain Binghamton
17:07left with
17:08Commander McHale, sir.
17:09Now, where to?
17:11McHale's Island, sir.
17:12Hmm.
17:13McHale.
17:14A mere lieutenant commander
17:15and he has his own island?
17:18Things are worse
17:18messing this base
17:19than I expected.
17:20All right, come on,
17:21let's find this
17:21so-called captain of yours.
17:23Yes, sir.
17:25Oh!
17:25Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:27Oh!
17:27Oh!
17:28Oh!
17:28Oh!
17:29Oh!
17:29Oh!
17:30Oh!
17:30Oh!
17:31Oh!
17:32Oh!
17:32Oh!
17:33Oh!
17:34Oh!
17:34What's all this?
17:47Ah, well, hello, Rulu.
17:49And I see the drop by.
17:51Oh, do you know
17:51Grulyaba here?
17:53McHale, what is going on?
17:54What's your ruler doing here?
17:56Ah, well, I don't know, sir,
17:56but, ah, don't worry.
17:58Grulyaba will protect you.
17:59Yes, sir.
17:59Uh, what happened?
18:00Him flip-wig, McHale?
18:03And, uh, who he?
18:04Oh, well, uh, this is Grulyaba,
18:06great witch doctor just like you, Rulu.
18:08Uh, show him some of your magic tricks, sir.
18:10Go ahead, Grulyaba.
18:11Would somebody please tell me
18:13what's going on here?
18:14Uh, it's kind of a...
18:15Uh, well, sir, as a matter of speaking,
18:17it's the battle of the two great witch doctors.
18:20They're kind of fighting for your soul, sir.
18:22Come on, Grulyaba.
18:23Come on.
18:26Uh, excuse me.
18:27What are you going to do now?
18:30The mango tree trick.
18:31But you can't.
18:32If you blow that, you blow everything.
18:34What him do?
18:36Uh, well, uh, if the spirits are willing,
18:38uh, Grulyaba will, uh...
18:41Well, show what you're going to do, Grulyaba.
19:13Likewise.
19:18How about that, huh?
19:20Shh.
19:36That's very good.
19:38You teach me, I pay.
19:39Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
19:42Oh, Rulo or Hage, he couldn't do that.
19:44But, uh, we could, uh, make a bargain.
19:46You take the curse off Captain Binghamton,
19:48and the great Grulyaba here
19:50will teach you the trick for free.
19:52Shh.
19:53Hmm.
19:53Good drive.
19:55Hard bargain.
19:55Well, heh, heh.
19:58Okay, no more malo malo curse.
20:00You're kidding.
20:01How about that, sir?
20:02I don't believe it.
20:04It's all a nightmare.
20:05Well, well, well, the nightmare's over, sir.
20:08And I'll prove it to you.
20:09Honey, honey, ma.
20:10Uh, get a chair, any chair.
20:12And now, you just wait and see, sir.
20:15Just what we...
20:16Tin hut!
20:17What in the name of the great white fleet
20:20is going on here?
20:22Well, uh, Admiral Hawkins, sir.
20:24How nice, sir.
20:25Uh, whatever brings you here, sir.
20:27You're gonna find out soon enough, McHale.
20:29Oh?
20:30Who's this?
20:31The Birdman of Taratuba?
20:33Uh, where's Binghamton?
20:35Oh, oh, right here.
20:37Uh, here's Captain Burdington.
20:38Uh, wait, you can...
20:39Uh, Captain?
20:40The Admiral's here.
20:41Who?
20:41The Admiral.
20:42Oh.
20:43Oh, that's Admiral.
20:45Uh, well, uh...
20:46Welcome aboard, Admiral.
20:47Welcome aboard!
20:49Uh, well, well, sir, you came at a very exciting moment, sir.
20:52Captain Binghamton was just, uh, uh, concluding a treaty
20:56with the local natives, yes, sir.
20:57And you know how quaint their ceremonial, uh, costumes are.
21:00Yes, sir.
21:01Captain.
21:03Ah, rubbish!
21:04Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.
21:07You listen to me.
21:08Captain, this is for your own information.
21:11I came all the way out here to relieve you of your command.
21:15If I decided it was necessary.
21:18Mm-hmm.
21:18And you have just about made my decision for me.
21:22Relieve me of my command?
21:24Oh, my career.
21:27My promotion.
21:29Oh.
21:31Hey, look, everybody.
21:33I'm sitting down, and the chair hasn't broken.
21:36I'm sitting down!
21:36All right!
21:37Get on your feet, you naval reservist!
21:42I'll tell you when you can sit down.
21:45Now you listen to me, every one of you.
21:49I don't know exactly what's going on around here.
21:52And I got news for you.
21:53I am certainly going to find out.
21:55You hear?
21:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, sir.
21:58Who him with big mouth?
22:00Well, I, well, I, well, I, well, I, well, I, it's just a very important man, Arulu.
22:04Uh, he's Binghamton's big boss.
22:06Mm-hmm.
22:07From Washington.
22:08Mm-hmm.
22:09Where all the money is!
22:11$100,000 you give me.
22:15I'll give you 90 days and the coldest brig in the Navy.
22:20You pot-bellied aboriginal seal, are you?
22:24Insult, McHale.
22:26Oh, insult, Chief.
22:30Hold it, Chief.
22:32Step back there, now. Don't let me splash you.
22:33What's he doing?
22:34Well, what did all that mean?
22:44Well, sir, he just put a curse on you.
22:46Oh, so you put a...
22:48He put a curse on you?
22:50Yes, sir.
22:51Oh, come on. Oh, now that doesn't. That really doesn't...
22:54Oh, Bingham.
22:56You're not only running the most inefficient base in the entire Pacific,
23:00but you got a crew here living in the Dark Ages.
23:03What a report. I'm going to send to Washington on this one.
23:10A curse on the United States Navy in the middle of the 20th century.
23:23Not bad, huh?
23:28Well, Chuck, for better or for worse, we got the captain back.
23:32Boy, you sure handled it brilliantly, too, Skip.
23:34Convincing Hawkins that Binghamton handled the situation the only way possible.
23:37Well, Hawkins falling through that chair didn't hurt anything either.
23:42Skipper, we got troubles.
23:44What now?
23:45You know the trick Gruber promised to teach Arulu?
23:48Forgetting the curse off Hawkins?
23:49Yeah.
23:50Shh.
23:50Oh, for crying out loud.
23:52Come on.
23:57You make fun of me, Gruber.
24:01Oh, no, no, Chief.
24:02Just give me a few more seconds or I'll have it full of goldfish for you.
24:05I promise.
24:06You better make it good, Gruber.
24:07I can't use a four-foot torpedo man either.
24:09I'm trying, Skipper.
24:10I'm trying.
24:13Alakazam.
24:13Alakazam.
24:14Ain't ony-nanny in a hot-chat shop.
24:15Pull for the top with little goldfish.
24:18Blue, big, big.
24:19Ur-ru-lu-mad.
24:21La-la-ma-la-la-la-la-la-la.
24:22No, no, no, don't, Chief.
24:23No, don't, don't.
24:23He's trying.
24:24He's trying.
24:24Yeah.
24:25One more chance, Chief.
24:26Go ahead.
24:27Go ahead.
24:27Come on.
24:28Wait on.
24:29Fish is in there.
24:29They're pretty pool.
24:30Alakazam.
24:31Abacadabra.
24:32Hey, hey.
24:32They're in there.
24:33No, no, no, Chief.
24:39Not the curse.
24:39Not the curse, Chief, please.
24:41Not the curse.
24:42Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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