- 5 months ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Hey daddy, wanna hear some funny jokes?
00:02Sure Jeffy.
00:03What did the farmer say when you couldn't find his tractor?
00:06What?
00:07Where's my tractor?
00:08Okay.
00:09What's a vampire's favorite dessert?
00:11Blood?
00:12I don't know.
00:13Nothing.
00:14Vampires aren't real.
00:15What?
00:16What's red and bad for your teeth?
00:18Red candy?
00:19A brick.
00:20What?
00:21What does a basketball and a football have in common?
00:23They're both balls.
00:24One of them is orange.
00:26What's yellow and is something you shouldn't drink?
00:29A pee?
00:30A school bus.
00:31You can't drink a school bus, Jeffy.
00:33I got one more, daddy.
00:34What do you get when you mix a goat and a sheep?
00:37I don't know.
00:38A geep.
00:39Who's that?
00:40Jeffy, stay right here.
00:42Uh, hello?
00:43Hey Mario.
00:44Hey Goodman, you must be here for my house payment.
00:46I wouldn't be here for any other reason.
00:48Yeah, well funny story, I don't really have the money to pay my house payment this month.
00:52I know.
00:53You know?
00:54Well then what are you doing here if you know I can't pay it?
00:56Cause I wanted to show you the new magic trick I learned.
00:58You wanna see it?
00:59Sure.
01:00I can pull something out of my butt.
01:01Watch.
01:06What is that?
01:07Looks like an eviction notice.
01:08And it says get out.
01:09An eviction notice?
01:10You're gonna evict me?
01:11Yeah Mario, because I'm done.
01:13I'm done with you and your hat.
01:15Every single month I have to waste gas and put miles on my Lamborghini just to come here
01:20for you not to have your house payment.
01:22Look, it's just a lot of money to pay and I don't have the money to pay that bill, you
01:26know?
01:27Oh, well it looks like you have money to pay your electric bill.
01:29So how do you not have money to pay your house payment?
01:31It's just so much.
01:32Look, look, look, look.
01:33Don't evict me.
01:34Just come inside and we can work this out.
01:35Mario, there's nothing to work out.
01:37You're evicted.
01:38No, no, no, no.
01:39Come on inside.
01:40Look, come inside.
01:41I promise we'll work something out.
01:42Come inside, please.
01:43Just come inside.
01:44Okay, come in.
01:45Look, just sit down, relax.
01:46Make yourself comfortable.
01:47Take your shoes off.
01:48No, Mario.
01:49You get your hands off my innocent and defenseless baby seal shoes.
01:53Baby seal shoes?
01:54Yeah.
01:55The cruelty makes them softer.
01:56Well, look, just please don't evict me.
01:58Well, Mario, the only way I'm not going to evict you is if you have your house payment
02:01right now in cash.
02:03So do you have it?
02:04Of course I don't.
02:06Read it and weep.
02:07Well, just give me another chance.
02:08Ew, Mario, stop.
02:09You sound like my ex-wife after I cheated on her.
02:12She was like, oh, please give me another chance.
02:15I promise I'll be hotter.
02:17And I was like, ew, no.
02:18There's other women out there and I don't want you.
02:21Well, why are you evicting me now?
02:22You've never evicted me before.
02:23It's your hat, Mario.
02:24What?
02:25Every time I come to your house, I stand outside your door and I'm like, he's going to answer
02:30the door in that hat.
02:31And sure enough, you come to the door and what do I see?
02:34Hat.
02:35Oh, okay.
02:36So if I get rid of the hat, you won't evict me?
02:37Oh, I'm still going to evict you, Mario.
02:39Well, I'm not going to get rid of my hat.
02:40All right.
02:41Well, you've got nine days to get all your stuff and get out of this house.
02:44Nine days.
02:45Why nine?
02:46Because it was off the dome, Mario.
02:47But if you're going to complain about it, then get all your stuff and get out in seven days.
02:50Seven?
02:51No, go back to nine.
02:52All right.
02:53What about five?
02:54No, go back.
02:55Four.
02:56What?
02:57Two.
02:58You can't do that.
02:59Get out.
03:00Get all your stuff right now and get out.
03:01You have to give me some time.
03:02All right.
03:03Six days.
03:04Get all your stuff out.
03:05Six days.
03:06My house.
03:07Okay, fine.
03:08I'll get out in six days.
03:13So, Cody, what do you want to do tonight?
03:15I don't know, Junior.
03:16You want to watch TV?
03:17Yeah, sure.
03:18I'll go get the remote.
03:19Huh?
03:20Wait, Junior, whose wallet is this?
03:21If there's money in it, it's mine.
03:23Okay, well, let's have a look.
03:24Wait, hold on.
03:25Junior, there's a credit card in here.
03:27A credit card?
03:28Yeah.
03:29Who does it belong to?
03:30It says Mr. Goodman.
03:31Cody, it says Billionaires Club on it.
03:32Do you think it belongs to a billionaire?
03:34Oh, yeah, maybe.
03:35Oh, we should buy stuff with it.
03:36Junior, we can't do that.
03:38That's illegal.
03:39It's called credit card fraud.
03:40Okay, well, how would they figure out that we used it?
03:42Well, they'd probably just use the security cameras in the stores we bought stuff from.
03:45Well, why don't we just buy stuff online, then?
03:47I don't know, Junior.
03:48The right thing to do would be to turn it in to the police so they could return it to the original owner.
03:52Well, that's lame, Cody.
03:53Look, we have a credit card that probably has a billion dollars on it, and we could buy whatever we want, and nobody would ever find out.
03:59Junior, the billionaire would find out.
04:01No, Cody, look, he has a billion dollars.
04:03So, if we buy stuff for, like, a couple thousand, he'll never notice a couple thousand dollars if he has a billion dollars.
04:08I guess, but if we buy stuff, we have to buy really small stuff.
04:12Yeah, Cody, look, we'll buy really small stuff that he won't even notice.
04:15Okay, really small stuff.
04:19You bought a monster truck, Junior?
04:21Yeah, isn't it sick?
04:22Yes, Junior, it's very sick.
04:24But you said you were going to buy something small.
04:26This is the opposite of small.
04:27Come on, Cody, it was like $500.
04:29The billionaire's not going to notice $500.
04:31Now, shut up and say Grave Digger so I can crush this Barbie in her Corvette.
04:35Grave Digger.
04:37Yeah.
04:41Whoa, Cody, look, her car's destroyed.
04:43Yeah, that's why you don't mess with the Grave Digger.
04:46All right, Cody, now you've got to buy something.
04:48I don't know, Junior, I just really don't want to get in trouble.
04:50Get in trouble?
04:51Cody, I bought a monster truck.
04:53Come on, live a little.
04:54Yeah, it was pretty cool.
04:56Okay, okay, I'm going to buy something.
04:58All right, what are you going to buy?
04:59I have an idea.
05:00Check out my pony carriage, Junior.
05:02Whoa, this is sick.
05:04Yeah, it is.
05:05I got 24 inch rims in the back, 18 inch rims in the front, one horsepower.
05:09And check this out, Junior.
05:11I got a frunk.
05:12That's a front trunk.
05:13I can hide all kinds of cookies and stuff in there.
05:15You got a frunk on your monster truck, Junior?
05:17No, that's where the engine is.
05:19Okay, whatever.
05:21So, Junior, you want to go on a nice stroll through a park somewhere?
05:25Um, yeah, but real quick, I definitely think we should return this credit card, you know,
05:29before we get caught.
05:30Yeah, that's a pretty good idea.
05:31If we spend any more money, they might catch us.
05:33Yeah, so let's go put it back in the wallet.
05:34Okay.
05:35All right, Junior, let's put this credit card back in the wallet before we get caught.
05:38We're not going to get caught, Cody.
05:39We only bought two things.
05:40Yeah, I don't feel that bad.
05:42Hey, guys!
05:43You want to hear some jokes?
05:44Sure.
05:45Yeah, okay.
05:46What do you call a dog with no legs?
05:48What?
05:49It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
05:52What's green and has wheels?
05:54What?
05:55Grass.
05:56I lied about the wheels.
05:57All right.
05:58What has four fingers and a thumb and looks like a hand?
06:02What?
06:03A hand.
06:04All right, I get it.
06:06Ask me if I'm a tree, Junior.
06:07Are you a tree?
06:08No.
06:09He's not.
06:10That's all I got.
06:11Well, Jeff, we found this credit card that belongs to a billionaire and you should buy something
06:15with it.
06:16Okay!
06:17No, Junior, we've spent too much money already.
06:18We didn't spend too much money.
06:19We only bought two things.
06:20It was like less than $1,000.
06:21Let Jeffy buy something.
06:23Okay, but just tell him not to spend too much money.
06:25All right, Jeffy.
06:26Here, buy whatever you want.
06:27All right, I'm gonna go spend $10,000 on V-Bucks.
06:30Junior, he's gonna get us caught.
06:32That's not that much money to a billionaire.
06:34$10,000 on V-Bucks?
06:36Hey, hey, Jeffy, buy me some V-Bucks too.
06:38All right, Jeffy.
06:39$10,000 worth of V-Bucks for you and $10,000 worth of V-Bucks for me.
06:44Oh, yeah, Junior.
06:45This is so pee-pee.
06:47Yes, it's very pee-pee.
06:49Can we stop committing credit card fraud now?
06:51I guess, Cody.
06:52Let's go.
06:53All right, Junior.
06:54We're putting this card back now that you and Jeffy both spent $10,000 each on V-Bucks.
06:58Well, Cody, you should've got you some V-Bucks.
07:00No, Junior.
07:01I don't play Fortnite.
07:02I play Minecraft like an adult.
07:04Oh, Cody, if you put an L right there, that'd be you.
07:06What?
07:07If you put an L right there before the G, it'd be you.
07:08Oh.
07:09Yeah, I guess it would.
07:10All right.
07:11Now, let's get out of here before we get caught.
07:12All right.
07:13Oh, oh, man.
07:14I can't wait to play me some Kyle to do this.
07:16Man, I gotta turn on the game.
07:18Ooh.
07:19Here go a wallet.
07:21And I ain't even have to mug nobody.
07:23Man, ships.
07:24It must be my birthdays.
07:26Ooh.
07:27And here go a Christmas card.
07:29And I'm going to get me some chicken with that.
07:32Because obviously, whoever left it here was thinking about me and was like,
07:38Uh-huh.
07:39Black Yoshi should go treat himself to some chicken.
07:42Trick or treat.
07:43Smell my feet.
07:44Let's go get me some KFC to eat.
07:46Ooh.
07:47Man, that's some good chicken, B.
07:50Man, what's wrong with you, Mario?
07:52I'm sad.
07:53Man, why you sad?
07:54You white.
07:55Because, Black Yoshi, we're about to lose the house.
07:58Why are we going to lose the house, folks?
07:59Because I haven't made a house payment because I can't afford it.
08:02Man, don't worry about that, folks.
08:03Just use my new GBT card I got from the gum milks.
08:06What, GBT card?
08:07Yeah, it's kind of like the EBT card, except they changed the name of it.
08:11So now it's like that thing that they give you if you go back to high school after you done dropped out.
08:14What, a GED?
08:15Yeah, that.
08:16What, Black Yoshi?
08:17Black Yoshi, this says Goodman Banking Trust.
08:19How did you get a credit card?
08:20I founds it.
08:21You found it?
08:22What'd you find it at?
08:23Right here, right where the tooth fairy done left it.
08:25He said I was a good boy.
08:26I just needed to floss a little bit more.
08:28And so he gave me this credit card.
08:30Black Yoshi, this is Mr. Goodman's credit card.
08:32How did you get Mr. Goodman's credit card?
08:34Oh, my God.
08:35Black Yoshi, where'd you find this wallet at?
08:37I told you the tooth fairy done left it to me right here.
08:40He said I need some treats.
08:41There's no tooth fairy, Black Yoshi.
08:43Mr. Goodman left this wallet here.
08:45Oh, my God.
08:46I know what happened.
08:47Mr. Goodman left this wallet here.
08:48And you found it.
08:49Black Yoshi, what did you buy with this credit card?
08:51Man, all our boss would is fried chicken, some Kool-Aid, and I'm about to peep game on this map pack.
08:57No, you ain't about to peep game on no map pack, Black Yoshi.
08:59You cannot use someone else's credit card to buy something.
09:02That's credit card fraud.
09:03Man, who's the credit card fraud?
09:05Do he go rib it?
09:06Black Yoshi, it's credit card fraud.
09:10Man, I don't know why you be talking about those frogs like that, folks.
09:15Black Yoshi, you cannot use someone else's credit card.
09:17That's illegal.
09:18It's against the law.
09:19You can go to jail.
09:20Mario, I ain't gonna go to jail because the courts ain't gonna allows it.
09:24Black Yoshi, okay, so when you go to court and they say, who gave you this credit card?
09:29And you say the tooth fairy.
09:30That's not gonna hold up in court.
09:31It doesn't have to hold up in court.
09:32What are they gonna do, bring in the tooth fairy?
09:34Because I can guarantee you he ain't gonna be there.
09:36Yeah, and why is he not gonna be there?
09:37Because he ain't real.
09:38Okay, then if he ain't real, then how'd he give you the credit card?
09:41Well, he was real for that five seconds when he came in here and left it.
09:43Black Yoshi, I don't have time for games like this.
09:46I have to find a way to get my house payment so we don't lose the house.
09:49Mario, like I already said, just take the GBT card and go pay the house payment, folks.
09:55I cannot pay the house payment with the credit card of the person that I owe money to.
09:59Yes, you can.
10:00Fuck, get that cash advance.
10:02You never know.
10:04It ain't neither.
10:05It would be better to just pay the house payment, I guess.
10:08Yeah, see, check that.
10:10Let me peep on this Mac pack.
10:14Alright, Black Yoshi.
10:15I took out a cash advance and got the money out to pay my house payment.
10:18Mario, I found this infection notice.
10:20And it says we gotta get out before we get sick.
10:22Black Yoshi doesn't say infection notice.
10:24It says eviction notice.
10:25Man, what's an eviction?
10:26Is that a type of book?
10:27No, no, Black Yoshi.
10:29Eviction means we have to get out, basically.
10:31Like we have to move out.
10:32Yeah, we have to get out because of the infection.
10:34We're gonna get sick.
10:35Black Yoshi, there is no infection.
10:37Look, look, look.
10:38You know what?
10:39Yeah, you know what?
10:40Get out.
10:41How about you just get out?
10:42But Mario, man, let me just grab that GBT card real quick and I'll be on my way.
10:44No, no, no, Black Yoshi, no.
10:45I have to give it back to who it belongs to.
10:47It belongs to me because the Tooth Fairy done gave it to me because I need them treats.
10:51Oh, no, Black Yoshi.
10:52I feel the infection all over my body.
10:54Oh, my God.
10:55It's eating me alive.
10:56Oh, we gotta get out.
10:57Get out, Mario.
10:58Hurry, quick.
11:03Who's that?
11:04Uh, hello?
11:05Hey, Mario.
11:06Hey, you don't talk until I tell you to talk.
11:08Yes, sir.
11:09You know what, Mario?
11:10Go back inside, come back to the door, and we'll start all over since he ruined it.
11:15Okay.
11:17Uh, hello?
11:18Hey, Mario.
11:19Hey, what are you doing here?
11:21Well, an hour ago, when I was at your house, the craziest thing happened.
11:25I noticed that I didn't have my wallet.
11:27And so I started to check my bank account instead of coming right back here.
11:31And I noticed that someone had been using my credit card.
11:34Ow.
11:35Tell them.
11:36Uh, yeah.
11:37Someone's been using his credit card, and they've spent about $30,000.
11:40Ow.
11:41$30,000?
11:42You didn't tell me they were spending $30,000.
11:44Well, yes, they did.
11:45But $30,000 on chicken?
11:47What?
11:48Hold on.
11:49Are you telling me that old McDonald had a farm, and he stole my credit card information,
11:54and he spent $30,000 on chicken?
11:56Well, no, no, no.
11:57I didn't say $30,000 on chicken.
11:59I said $30,000 missing.
12:01That's crazy.
12:02We're coming in.
12:03Hey, you.
12:04Tell them we're coming in.
12:05Stop.
12:06But why?
12:07Because we've got to find my wallet.
12:08Tell them we're coming in.
12:09We don't have a warrant.
12:10Yes, we do.
12:11We have a warrant, because I say we have a warrant.
12:14Uh, yeah.
12:15Stop, stop.
12:16Uh, we're coming in, and we have a warrant.
12:18Hey, and...
12:19Stop hitting me.
12:20Take his hat.
12:21Stop hitting me.
12:22Take his hat.
12:23I'm sorry.
12:24Stop.
12:25I'm going to have to take your hat.
12:26Why?
12:27Well, it's...
12:28I don't like it.
12:29Tell him I don't like his hat, and we're going to take the hat.
12:30Stop.
12:31Stop saying it.
12:32He doesn't like your hat, and we're going to...
12:33And we're taking it.
12:34We're taking it.
12:35I'm going to wear it.
12:36I'm going to wear your hat, and he's going to put it on my head.
12:37Yeah.
12:38Okay.
12:39Stop.
12:40Stop hitting me.
12:41Okay.
12:42Well, come in real quick.
12:43Okay.
12:44All right, Mario.
12:45Where's my wallet?
12:46I don't know.
12:47It was right here.
12:48I mean, I don't know.
12:49I haven't seen it.
12:50You.
12:51Take his hat.
12:52What?
12:53No.
12:54Where's my wallet?
12:55I don't know.
12:56Give me the hat.
12:57The hat.
12:58Give me the hat.
12:59Where's my wallet?
13:00I don't know.
13:01Mario, if you don't tell me where my wallet is, I'm going to eat your hat.
13:03Don't eat my hat.
13:04Don't eat it.
13:05Where's my wallet?
13:06I don't know.
13:07Don't eat my hat.
13:08Come on, spit it out.
13:09You're chewing on it.
13:10Mario, I'm chewing on your hat.
13:11Spit it out.
13:12Mario, what is that?
13:13Oh, this is my house payment money, so you can't evict me.
13:17Mario, where on earth did you get $2,500 in one hour?
13:22What corner were you on?
13:23You been selling Flintstones gummies, huh?
13:25How'd you get that kind of money?
13:26I broke open my piggy bank.
13:28Oh, really?
13:29A piggy bank full of 100s.
13:30Did you steal one of my piggy banks?
13:32No, no.
13:33I stuffed money in my mattress.
13:34That's where I got it.
13:35Okay.
13:36Well, I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that.
13:37No, no, no.
13:38I paid my house payment, so you can't evict me.
13:40You said if I pay in cash, you can't evict me, right?
13:43Well, that is true, Mario.
13:44Since you did pay your house payment in cash, I can't evict you.
13:47Great.
13:48It's just really weird that there was a $2,500 cash advance on my credit card.
13:53Here's $2,500 in cash.
13:55And there was also a KFC charge on my credit card.
13:58Here's KFC.
13:59And then Kool-Aid.
14:00How do you explain that?
14:01Well, the KFC's old.
14:03This food's old.
14:04Well, it wasn't here earlier.
14:06Well, it's like a couple days old.
14:08I like to move my trash around.
14:09I'm a hoarder.
14:10Ew.
14:11Well, look.
14:12I don't really see any evidence here.
14:13Just a whole bunch of coincidences.
14:15Yeah, yeah.
14:16Darn.
14:17The case has gone cold.
14:18Hey, you.
14:19Bring me your face.
14:20Okay.
14:21Find who stole my wallet.
14:23Okay.
14:24Okay, so, you know, everything's fine, right?
14:26So, I'm free to go, right?
14:28I guess, Mario.
14:29Well, you're not mad about that $30,000 that's missing on your credit card?
14:32No, Mario.
14:33You think I'm going to worry about a small $30,000 charge?
14:37Mario, do you know what my credit limit is?
14:40What?
14:41My credit limit is Buzz Lightyear to infinity and beyond, Mario.
14:45My credit score is yes.
14:47I'm not mad about $30,000.
14:49Oh, okay.
14:50Yeah, well, I mean, you can go on your way then.
14:54It was nice seeing you, officer.
14:56And I'll see you next month coming with your house payment.
14:58All right.
14:59Have a good night, Mario.
15:00Good night.
15:01Okay, okay.
15:02Where is his wallet?
15:03Who has his credit card?
15:05I just need a couple million more V-Bucks.
15:07Okay.
15:08Yeah.
15:09You are so done.
15:10What?
15:11I'm about to orange justice all over your face.
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