- 2 months ago
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00:00And that, Crass, is why the mech rule with Fortnite, E2OP, it don't matter how much you build, it'll steal Hiroshima and Nagasaki, your entire squad.
00:11See, that's you and your entire squad right there, after the mech show up, and that's some no-skin, who just so happened to land next to one at the beginning of the match.
00:19But don't worry, even if you find a way to destroy it, they'll still send 30 more throughout the entire game.
00:24Any questions, Crass?
00:26I missed the baller, I would just camp the whole game.
00:28Well, there's no mechs in Minecraft, the game we should all be playing instead of Fortnite.
00:33Dude, I don't have electricity, so I can't play games.
00:36I just put a bunch of ants in my mouth and see how many can bite my tongue.
00:39Oh, my high score is 15.
00:41Oh, the mechs are easy to kill.
00:43All you gotta do is 360 no-scope them from across the map and then go boneless on the entire squad, like...
00:52Alright, Crass, don't forget that tomorrow is bringing your favorite toy to school day,
00:57so you're gonna bring your favorite toy to school, and you're gonna show it to the Crass.
01:01We can bring a toy to school tomorrow?
01:02That's so awesome!
01:04But I don't know what toy's my favorite.
01:05I have so many awesome toys.
01:07Oh, you already know what toy I'm bringing tomorrow.
01:10Mike, Junior, we can bring a toy to school tomorrow?
01:12Yeah, we can bring a toy.
01:13That's so pee-pee.
01:16Yeah, that's so awesome.
01:17I don't know what toy to bring, though.
01:18Daddy!
01:20Today in school was so pee-pee.
01:23What, you actually enjoyed school today, Jeffy?
01:25Yeah, Daddy, because the teacher said that tomorrow is bringing your favorite toy to school day.
01:30Jeffy, it sounds like you made that up.
01:31No, Daddy, he really said that, so I get to take my favorite toy to school tomorrow.
01:35Okay, well then just go through all your toys and find your favorite toy then.
01:38Okay, Daddy.
01:39Hmm, which toy is my favorite?
01:42Oh.
01:42Pee-pee.
01:46Turkey.
01:49Ah!
01:50Snakey.
01:54What was that?
01:57Jeffy!
01:59Jeffy, what is this huge mess?
02:02Jeffy, why are you doing that?
02:04Because I can't find my favorite toy, Daddy.
02:06Well, that doesn't mean you have to make a huge mess, Jeffy.
02:09Let's just look through the toys like normal people.
02:10Daddy, take me to your store and buy me a new toy.
02:13Jeffy, I don't have the money to buy you a new toy right now.
02:16Well, what am I going to do about my project tomorrow?
02:19Well, I have an arcade card with points on it so we can go to the arcade and try to win you a new toy.
02:23Okay, Daddy, let's do that.
02:25All right, Jeffy, but I only have a few points, so what we have to do is we have to get enough points and enough tickets to get you a prize, okay?
02:30Okay, Daddy.
02:33Oh, Daddy, I want to win a big colorful ball.
02:36All right, Jeffy, well, here's your game card, okay?
02:38All right, Daddy.
02:38Yeah, just go in there and win, okay?
02:40Okay, Daddy.
02:46Jeffy, did you ever win a ball?
02:48Jeffy?
02:49Jeffy?
02:50Where did Jeffy go?
02:52Jeffy!
02:53How'd you get in there, Jeffy?
02:54I don't even know, Daddy.
02:55Yes, you do, Jeffy.
02:56Get out!
02:57I can't, Daddy.
02:58You got to win me.
02:59You're not worth my money, Jeffy.
03:00I'm not going to spend money to try to win you out of there.
03:02All right, Daddy.
03:02Well, I'll just stand here with Mr. Monkey.
03:04You're not standing there with Mr. Monkey.
03:05He likes manos, Daddy.
03:07Jeffy, if you don't get out, I'm going to get a worker.
03:08All right.
03:09All right, so what's the problem?
03:12That.
03:12What?
03:13How'd your kid get in there?
03:14I don't know.
03:14He must have crawled in or something, but I want you to get him out.
03:16What?
03:16How?
03:17Well, I don't know.
03:17Use the key or something.
03:18Unlock it.
03:18Ooh, I don't have the key.
03:20You don't have the key?
03:21You work here.
03:22Yeah, but I swallowed it.
03:23What?
03:24You swallowed it?
03:25Yeah, Bob was like, I bet you won't swallow that key, and I was like, I bet I will, so I
03:29swallowed it.
03:29Well, go use the bathroom and get it out.
03:31Nah, man, I am backed up.
03:32Well, okay, how am I going to get my son out?
03:34I don't know.
03:35The only way you can get him out is you've got to win him.
03:36Well, I don't know how to play this game.
03:38Yeah, and it's pretty rigged.
03:39I don't think you're going to get him out of there.
03:40Well, come on.
03:41Just help me get him out of there.
03:42Dude, what do I have to do?
03:43Well, I used to be a pro claw machine player in college, so I guess I could give it a shot.
03:48All right, let's try to get him out.
03:50All right, let's win this.
03:51All right, I'll tell you where to go.
03:51All right.
03:52All right, go to the right.
03:53Uh-huh.
03:53A lot more to the right.
03:54Yeah.
03:54All right, start going back.
03:55Start going back.
03:56Okay, okay.
03:57Start going a little bit more to the right.
03:59Uh-huh.
03:59Jeffy, can you move to the left?
04:02Jeffy, move to the left.
04:03All right, I think I got it.
04:05No, no, no, no, no.
04:05More to the right.
04:06My son's right there.
04:07Here we go.
04:07Okay, this is looking good.
04:08No, it's not.
04:09My son's right there.
04:10Oh, I got a good feeling about this one.
04:12No, no, my son is right there.
04:13You missed my son completely.
04:14Come to papa.
04:16You missed my son.
04:17Come on.
04:17Come on.
04:18Come to daddy.
04:19Right here.
04:19Come on.
04:19Come on.
04:20He's right there.
04:21Oh, the monkey and the ball.
04:22The monkey and the ball.
04:23Come on, give it.
04:24Give it here.
04:24Come on.
04:25No, my son.
04:25No, no, no.
04:26That was my monkey.
04:27What are you doing?
04:28You took my monkey.
04:29You were supposed to.
04:29I met the monkey.
04:30You were supposed to get my son.
04:32Oh, well, I really wanted the monkey.
04:34No, you were supposed to get my son.
04:35Try again and aim for my son.
04:37Okay.
04:38All right, go for my son this time.
04:39All right, fine.
04:40All right, so a lot to the right.
04:42Okay.
04:42A lot more to the right.
04:43All right.
04:44A lot more to the right.
04:45Back, back, back it up.
04:46Start backing up.
04:46All right.
04:46More to the right.
04:48Okay.
04:48More to the right.
04:49All right.
04:50Jeffy, go to the left.
04:53I'm going for it.
04:54No, no, no more monkey.
04:56No, not that one.
04:57No, I don't want that one.
04:58I wanted Mr. Monkey.
05:00No, no, don't give me.
05:01That one's stupid.
05:02I don't want that one.
05:03You're supposed to go for my son.
05:04But the monkey was right there.
05:06It was so close.
05:07Oh, my God.
05:08Look.
05:08Oh, my God.
05:09I could get all three of them.
05:10No, God.
05:11Why does he keep doing that?
05:13Go for my son.
05:14Ugh, fine.
05:15Let me do it.
05:17More to the right.
05:18Uh-huh.
05:19And more to the right.
05:20Okay.
05:20Now we're still going back.
05:21Looking good.
05:22Yeah.
05:24Am I close?
05:25No, you're pretty close.
05:26All right.
05:26What?
05:27What?
05:27Okay.
05:28I think you got it.
05:29All right.
05:30All right.
05:31Jeffy, you're coming out of there.
05:32All right.
05:32Looking good.
05:33Yeah.
05:33Oh, yeah.
05:34I got Jeffy.
05:34I definitely got Jeffy.
05:35Here we go.
05:35Here we go.
05:37Jeffy?
05:38Yes.
05:39I got Jeffy.
05:40You got him and the ball.
05:41I got both of them.
05:41Oh, this is perfect.
05:42Yeah, I got Jeffy out of there.
05:43Oh, thank God.
05:44Oh, my God.
05:44Jeffy, you get out of there right now.
05:48You get out of there.
05:50Jeffy, you're getting out of there this time.
05:51All right.
05:52Tell me where to go.
05:52All right.
05:54Doing good.
05:55Doing good.
05:55Forward a little bit.
05:56Yeah.
05:57Uh-huh.
05:57Uh-huh.
05:58Okay.
05:58More to the right.
05:59A little to the right.
06:02Then maybe back a little.
06:04Maybe.
06:04I think that's it.
06:05I think that's it.
06:05That's good.
06:06All right.
06:06Wait for it to stop swinging.
06:07Yeah.
06:07Yeah.
06:08It keeps swinging a lot.
06:09Okay.
06:09Jeffy, you get out of there this time.
06:11Just hop in.
06:11Just hop into the prize thing.
06:13You hold on.
06:14Come on, Jeffy.
06:15Here we go.
06:16Come on, Jeffy.
06:17Oh, yes.
06:17Yes.
06:18Yes.
06:18Wait.
06:20We might have him.
06:21Jeffy, you stop playing games.
06:23Jeffy, don't you play games with me.
06:25Okay.
06:25Here he comes.
06:26Here he comes.
06:27Jeffy.
06:27Hold on.
06:28Hold on.
06:29Jeffy.
06:29Oh, I think we got him.
06:30Jeffy.
06:30We got him and the ball.
06:32Oh, this is perfect.
06:33Yes.
06:33Yes.
06:34Yes.
06:34Yes.
06:35We got both.
06:36Jeffy, you get out of there.
06:37Oh, yes.
06:38Everybody wins.
06:38Jeffy, you not climb back in there, okay?
06:40All right.
06:41Dang.
06:41Get out of here.
06:42Come on.
06:44All right, Jeffy.
06:44With this game, you have to hit it as hard as you can and see if you can get the lights
06:47to go all the way to the top, so it takes a lot of strength, okay?
06:49Okay, dang.
06:52Jeffy, that was very weak.
06:53Look, you're supposed to go all the way to the top.
06:55You only got it right there.
06:56Oh, that's as hard as I can hit it, dang.
06:58Well, hold on.
06:59Let me swipe it again.
07:00Okay.
07:01All right, Jeffy.
07:01Pretend this time that that thing right there is bullying you.
07:04Okay, dang.
07:05Oh, you want to bully me, buddy?
07:07Well, how about this?
07:08You won the jackpot, Jeffy.
07:14Yay, I won the jackpot.
07:16Yeah, I think you broke it.
07:17Let's go.
07:18All right, Jeffy.
07:19This one's called skee ball, okay?
07:20So all you do is you grab a ball like this and roll it up.
07:24You try to make it in that thing, okay?
07:25Okay, Jeffy.
07:26You try.
07:30You got it, Jeffy.
07:31You're doing good.
07:35Okay, do it a little bit better.
07:39Jeffy, you cannot throw it.
07:41Oh.
07:41Yeah, you got to roll it up there, Jeffy.
07:43Oh, okay.
07:46Okay, you're doing pretty good.
07:49Jeffy, you got to roll it a little harder.
07:52No, a lot harder, Jeffy.
07:54You have to roll it a lot harder, Jeffy.
07:58A lot harder.
07:59Like, a lot.
08:04All right, Jeffy, let's play a different game.
08:05Come on.
08:06Okay.
08:07Oh, hey, you all done playing?
08:08Yeah, can you tell me how many tickets I have?
08:10Sure.
08:11It feels like you got about 200 tickets here.
08:13The card gets heavier, I can tell.
08:14Oh.
08:15Well, what can I get for 200 tickets?
08:17Oh, not much.
08:18I guess I can give you this unicorn necklace.
08:21Dang, look, there's a giraffe.
08:22I want the giraffe.
08:24Well, ask him.
08:24Oh, no, sorry.
08:25That giraffe right there is over 1,000 tickets.
08:28Hey, how many tickets do I have?
08:30You have 200.
08:31I just told you that.
08:32Oh, dang, I really want the giraffe.
08:34Well, you don't have enough tickets, Jeffy.
08:35You only have 200 and it's 1,000.
08:37But I want the giraffe.
08:39Well, you don't have enough tickets.
08:41I want the giraffe.
08:43Is there any way I can buy the giraffe with my own money?
08:45No, sorry.
08:46You can't do that unless you're a Boofy Rewards member.
08:48A Boofy Rewards member?
08:49Okay, fine.
08:50Well, sign me up for the Boofy Rewards membership.
08:52Well, I'm sorry.
08:52I can't do that.
08:54Why not?
08:54It's not Boofy Season.
08:56It's not Boofy Season.
08:57Why?
08:58Make it Boofy Season.
08:59Well, I can't make it Boofy Season.
09:01Boofy Season starts in the summer.
09:02Oh, okay.
09:03Well, then I'll give you the money and then when it becomes Boofy Season, you can just charge
09:06it then.
09:07Okay, fine.
09:07But you've got to say the Boofy Pledge.
09:09The Boofy Pledge?
09:10Yeah, repeat after me.
09:11Okay.
09:12I am Boofy.
09:13I am Boofy.
09:13I am Goofy.
09:14I am Goofy.
09:15Now, rub your belly and say Boofy, Boofy, Boofy, Boofy.
09:18Boofy, Boofy, Boofy, Boofy, Boofy, Boofy.
09:19I can't believe you idiots actually fell for that.
09:23There's no such thing as Boofy rewards members.
09:27Oh, my God.
09:28You guys are such idiots.
09:29Just take your stupid giraffe.
09:30Dang, I got a giraffe.
09:32That was like a dollar anyway.
09:33Okay.
09:34Oh, man, Danny.
09:35I love my new favorite giraffe toy.
09:39All right, Jeffy.
09:40Look, we'll just go to bed so you'll be ready for school tomorrow, okay?
09:42So you have your toy.
09:43All right, Daddy.
09:43Oh, man, Junior.
09:48I am so honored that you brought me in for your career day project.
09:51You're actually inspired by me?
09:52Yeah, sure, whatever.
09:54Junior, why did you bring in Chef PB as your favorite toy?
09:56Wait, what?
09:57Well, nothing.
09:58Nothing.
09:58Cody doesn't know he's talking about.
09:59He's just obsessed with his stupid Ken doll.
10:01Just pay attention to class.
10:02All right, class.
10:03Today is bring your favorite toy to school day.
10:07Today.
10:08So I hope you all brought your favorite toy to school.
10:10So who wants to come up first and show off their toy to the class?
10:14Favorite toy day?
10:15Yeah, Chef PB.
10:17Let's go up.
10:17Let's go up.
10:18All right, Junior.
10:20What's your favorite toy?
10:21My favorite toy is my personal Chef PB.
10:23I am not a toy, Junior.
10:25Listen, class.
10:26Junior told me today was career day and he had to bring someone that he looked up to.
10:30Yeah, yeah, and I brought Chef PB because I do look up to him, but he is a toy because
10:34I like grabbing his ears and making him mad.
10:36Junior, don't pull out my ears!
10:37See, he's like a Simon Says.
10:39You have to do the opposite to make him mad.
10:40Okay, Junior.
10:41A plus.
10:42All right, Chef, you got me an A.
10:44Oh, God.
10:44Thanks for the A, Chef PB.
10:46Junior, you lied to me and told me that I inspired you.
10:49Why would you inspire me, Chef PB?
10:50You're a 30-year-old chef who doesn't get paid to cook, and I've never seen you with
10:53a girlfriend.
10:55I'm next.
10:57All right, Cody.
10:58What's your favorite toy?
10:59My favorite toy is Ken.
11:01He's my boy toy.
11:02He's hunky, and he's an astronaut.
11:04He's a rocket scientist.
11:05He's a lawyer, and he's a doctor.
11:07He's a doll, Cody.
11:09Shut up, Joseph.
11:10All right, Cody.
11:10B-minus.
11:11You're weird.
11:11Go sit down.
11:12I'm fine.
11:13Oh, I'm next.
11:14I'm next.
11:15All right, Joseph.
11:16What's your favorite toy?
11:17Oh, my favorite toy is this onion that I found on my way to school today.
11:21An onion?
11:22What'd it do?
11:23Oh, it makes me cry.
11:24But I would do that anyway, because my life is so sad.
11:27Oh, okay.
11:28You get a C for crying.
11:31Okay.
11:32My turn.
11:34All right, Jeffy.
11:35What's your favorite toy?
11:36My favorite toy is my giraffe.
11:39Now, I want the arcane.
11:40I like to carry him around in my diaper like a kangaroo.
11:43Oh, that's a giraffe.
11:47Not a kangaroo.
11:48D-minus.
11:49I'll take it.
11:52Hey, Daddy.
11:52I passed.
11:53What, Jeffy?
11:54You passed?
11:54What grade did you get?
11:55I got a D-minus.
11:56A D-minus?
11:57Why didn't you get an A?
11:58Because I told the teacher I was a kangaroo.
12:01Oh, well, still, a D-minus is the highest grade you've got all year, so I'm proud of you.
12:04Yeah, and I think I deserve to eat your pizza.
12:07Yeah, Jeffy.
12:08Let's go out and get some pizzas that you passed.
12:09Yay!
12:10Yay!
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