- 7 weeks ago
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00It's my birthday! It's my birthday! Chef PeeBee, it's my birthday!
00:12No, it's not. Shut up, Junior.
00:14Well, yes it is. I know when my birthday is, Chef PeeBee, and we're supposed to have my party at Chuck E. Cheese. Are you coming?
00:19Shut up, Junior. Go back to sleep.
00:21Wow, wow. You're going to miss my birthday because you're tired.
00:24Well, I'm going to invite all my friends, and my dad's going to be there, and you're going to be the only one not there because you're a loser.
00:30Whatever.
00:31Dad, Dad, Dad! Today's my birthday!
00:33Junior, do not interrupt me while I'm watching TV!
00:36But today's my birthday, Dad!
00:38Oh, you act like every day's your birthday. Oh, I want this. I want that. Oh, you're so annoying.
00:43But we're supposed to go to Chuck E. Cheese for my birthday.
00:46Who said that?
00:47You did yesterday when you said you booked Chuck E. Cheese for my birthday.
00:50Oh, I don't remember that.
00:51Well, you booked it, so when are we going to Chuck E. Cheese?
00:53We're not! Look, let me watch TV and eat my cheese balls in peace. Leave me alone!
00:58So you don't care about my birthday?
01:00No, I don't care about your birthday!
01:02Go!
01:03Aw!
01:04Wow, I can't believe my dad and Chef PB don't care about my birthday.
01:07I guess I'll just go to Chuck E. Cheese by myself.
01:10Oh, I invited my friends to my party. Let me call them and see if they're still coming.
01:15Oh, guys, please answer.
01:16What is that?
01:18What is that?
01:19What is that?
01:22What is that?
01:23So, Joseph, what is that?
01:27What is that?
01:28What?
01:28Cody, we stopped.
01:29Oh, I'm sorry.
01:31So, guys, what's up?
01:32Nothing.
01:33Chilling.
01:34Yeah, just sitting back, eating bugs.
01:36You know, the usual.
01:37But eating bugs?
01:38Yeah, yeah, Cody.
01:40Not everybody's privileged like you and can eat regular food.
01:43Okay, I'm sorry.
01:44Guys, guys, calm down.
01:45I was calling to see if you're still coming to my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
01:48Oh, yeah, I'm not going to miss that.
01:50Yeah, you know it, dude.
01:50I'll be there.
01:51Yeah, because we're best buds, right?
01:53Yeah.
01:53Duh.
01:54Yeah, because Chef PeeBee and my dad aren't coming.
01:56That's lame.
01:57Yeah, what?
01:57I know.
01:58I know they're not true friends.
02:00So, I'll see you guys at Chuck E. Cheese, okay?
02:02Okay.
02:02Yeah, I'll be there, dude.
02:04All right, bye, guys.
02:05I can always count on my friends.
02:07I'm ahead of Chuck E. Cheese right now.
02:11Oh, I guess nobody's going to show up for my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
02:15Wow, you're here early.
02:16Oh, who are you?
02:17Oh, I work here.
02:18Why are you dressed as a doctor?
02:19Oh, it's in case you hurt yourself on any of the games in here.
02:22Or if you eat the pizza.
02:23Ugh, ugh, I wouldn't recommend that.
02:26Oh, well, I'm trying to wait for my friends to get here for my party, but they're not showing up.
02:30Yeah, I mean, it is pretty early.
02:32Oh, I guess I'll just wait until they show up.
02:34Okay, if you want.
02:36Hmm.
02:38I guess I'll just play some skee-ball by myself.
02:42Oh, well, this is the worst birthday ever.
02:56No one showed up to my party.
02:57I wish I was never born.
02:59Where am I?
03:08Hello, Junior.
03:09Ah, I don't have any money.
03:10No, I'm not homeless.
03:11What, Santa Claus?
03:12Am I in the North Pole?
03:13No, Junior, I'm God.
03:15God?
03:15Am I in heaven?
03:16Oh, no, Junior.
03:17This is just a sheet with a fog machine.
03:20Heaven is way cooler.
03:21There's so many women.
03:23That's why some people call me Allah.
03:25Because I get Allah the women.
03:27You get it.
03:28All right, tough afterlife.
03:29Wait, so I'm dead?
03:30Oh, yes, Junior.
03:31You're dead.
03:32How did I die?
03:33Someone threw a skee-ball at your head.
03:35Took you down in one shot.
03:36Very clean.
03:37Very accurate throw.
03:38They probably would have gone pro if they didn't have an injured elbow.
03:41Oh, so why am I not in heaven?
03:43Well, Junior, you wished that you had never been born.
03:46So now I'm going to show you what the world would look like if you were never born.
03:51Hey, look, it's my old house!
03:52Yes, it is.
03:53I thought it burned down.
03:55Oh, it did.
03:56But since you were never born, it never burned down.
04:00The candle, remember?
04:02Something from McDonald's?
04:03Yes, I do!
04:04Oh, my God!
04:05It's a fire!
04:06That candle caused a fire?
04:08Yeah, somebody must have left it on a bed or something.
04:10I don't know.
04:11Oh, yeah, the candle.
04:12It was my fault.
04:13Yes, it was.
04:14So does my dad still live here?
04:15Oh, yes.
04:16Let's go and check on him.
04:18Here is your father.
04:20What's wrong with him?
04:21He died.
04:21He's not alive anymore?
04:23Nope.
04:23Why not?
04:24Well, since you were never born, he was able to watch TV uninterrupted.
04:30And that's what he did.
04:31He watched TV all day every day while eating cheese balls until he laughed himself to death.
04:38Which actually sounds like a pretty good life.
04:41That's probably what I would do if I wasn't God.
04:43So by me being born, it actually keeps my dad alive and he was happier?
04:48Well, he looks pretty happy here.
04:50I mean, just look at that smile.
04:51Oh, well, how about Chef Pee Pee?
04:53Is he still alive?
04:54Oh, he's still alive.
04:56Let's go look.
04:57Check this out.
04:59Chef Pee Pee owns a five-star restaurant.
05:01It's called A Taste of Pee Pee.
05:04Chef Pee Pee owns a five-star restaurant, but his cooking sucks.
05:06Not anymore.
05:08Since he doesn't have to babysit you, Chef Pee Pee has become a professional chef.
05:12And he's made millions off of his gourmet food.
05:15He is now the most famous chef in the world.
05:18That's so awesome.
05:18Can we go inside and see him?
05:19Yes, let's go.
05:21Oh, man.
05:22This restaurant's really fancy.
05:23I told you.
05:24Welcome to A Taste of Pee Pee, where we only serve five-star cuisines.
05:29How may I help you?
05:30God?
05:30Is that you?
05:31In the flesh.
05:32Oh, my God.
05:34It's God.
05:35Don't buy me.
05:36Oh, give me some play, God.
05:38Pee Pee, my man.
05:38Oh, my God.
05:39God is eating at my restaurant.
05:40You've been so good to me.
05:42Oh, yes.
05:42I can see that.
05:43Oh, man.
05:44What would you like to eat, God?
05:45Oh, I'll just have the usual chicken parmesan.
05:48Oh, you know it.
05:49I can get that for you, God.
05:50I want chicken parmesan, too.
05:52Wait, wait.
05:52Who is this peasant?
05:53Oh, it's okay, Pee Pee.
05:54He's with me.
05:55He's cool.
05:55Well, does he have a million dollars?
05:57Because that's how much it takes to eat here.
05:58No, it's okay.
05:59I got it.
06:00I'm God.
06:01Oh, yeah.
06:01You are God.
06:02Swear to me.
06:04Yeah, your credit card does not decline.
06:06Yes, that's right.
06:07So I'll get you two chicken parmesan.
06:09Just hold on.
06:10Is the chicken parmesan really good?
06:11Oh, it's to die for.
06:14Just ask Jesus how the kid loves it.
06:17That's how I know he's my son.
06:18Why do you think the Pope lives in Italy?
06:20All you can eat chicken parmesan.
06:23Oh, well, I'm really hungry.
06:25I wish we could have the food now.
06:26Say no more.
06:27Okay, here's the world famous Chef Pee Pee's chicken parmesan.
06:31Me bless you.
06:32Oh, thank you, God.
06:33Now, eat up.
06:34Oh, man, this really does look good.
06:36Oh, it is.
06:37Okay, so my dad's not alive anymore.
06:39Nope.
06:39And Chef Pee Pee's a millionaire.
06:40Yep.
06:41So then what happened to everyone else I know?
06:42Well, follow me and I'll show you.
06:44Can I eat first?
06:45I'm really hungry.
06:46Oh, hold on.
06:47I can fix that.
06:49Oh, I'm really full out of nowhere.
06:51Yeah, I put the food inside you.
06:53You can do that?
06:54I can do anything.
06:55I'm God.
06:55Oh, that's so cool.
06:57Here, now follow me.
06:58Wait, wait, you're not going to pay?
06:59Quiet, this place is expensive.
07:01He's going to be mad at you if you don't pay.
07:02Well, he can't be mad at me.
07:03I created the world.
07:04And look what I did for him.
07:05He'll be fine.
07:06Just follow me.
07:06Let's ditch.
07:07Okay.
07:08Now look at this poor man.
07:10What?
07:11I know who that is.
07:12That's the cop and the doctor.
07:13Not anymore, he's not.
07:15Since you weren't born, he doesn't have any problems to solve.
07:18And no one wants to hire him.
07:20Really?
07:20So he's really homeless?
07:21Yes.
07:22I don't believe he's homeless.
07:23You don't believe me?
07:25I'm God.
07:26Well, fine.
07:27Ask him yourself if you don't believe me.
07:31Uh, hey, mister.
07:32Hey, kid.
07:33You have any spare change?
07:34Uh, no.
07:36That's what they all say.
07:37You just don't want to give me any money because you're afraid I'm going to spend it on booze.
07:40Which I will, but that's none of your business.
07:43I don't have a problem.
07:44You have a problem.
07:45Well, what happened to you?
07:46I thought you had a lot of jobs.
07:47Yeah, I got a lot of jobs.
07:48That's why I'm living in a cardboard box next to a dumpster.
07:51No, I don't have a lot of jobs.
07:52But you used to be a cop and a doctor.
07:54Oh, no.
07:55Nobody wants to hire me to pretend to be a cop or a doctor.
07:58They want real ones.
07:59Ugh.
08:00If only somebody would call me every single day to help them with their stupid problems.
08:05But that's just a dream.
08:06Do you believe me now?
08:14Yeah, that's just really sad because he had a lot of jobs.
08:16Well, he only had jobs because you needed him.
08:19Oh, that's so sad.
08:20What about my friends, Joseph and Cody?
08:22Your friends?
08:23Well, let's go check on them.
08:26Where am I?
08:27We're in a movie theater.
08:28And if you look next to me, you'll see your friend Cody on a date.
08:32Cody?
08:32Oh, Cody, you're so hunky.
08:34Yeah, I know.
08:35Now shut up and kiss me.
08:36Yeah, more time.
08:38Well, he doesn't like girls.
08:40Oh, yes, he does.
08:41Because you were never born, he never met you.
08:44And since he never met you, he never found that Ken doll.
08:47Remember?
08:49Oh, yeah.
08:49I'm the reason he has that Ken doll.
08:51Yes.
08:51And since he never found the Ken doll, he never realized how much he liked boys.
08:56So now he's a ladies' man.
09:00All right, I'm done with you.
09:01Now go get your sister.
09:02Okay.
09:03What are you looking at?
09:04Nothing.
09:05We should go.
09:06Well, what about Joseph?
09:07Oh.
09:08Oh, Joseph.
09:10Poor, poor Joseph.
09:11What happened to Joseph?
09:13Follow me.
09:15Here is Joseph.
09:16Oh, no!
09:17Joseph died?
09:18Yep.
09:18What happened to him?
09:20Well, he would always come over to your house to eat.
09:22But since you were never born, he had nowhere to go.
09:25So he starved.
09:27Poor Joseph.
09:28Yes.
09:29Poor Joseph.
09:30R.I.P.
09:31Rest in poverty.
09:32Because he was poor.
09:33Oh, my sister Joseph's not alive.
09:35My dad's not alive.
09:36The Brooklyn guy's homeless.
09:38Cody's straight.
09:38It looks like everyone's suffering because I wasn't born.
09:41Chef Pee Pee's doing pretty good, though.
09:42Yeah, Chef Pee Pee's a millionaire.
09:44So that really shows how much Chef Pee Pee's given up to take care of me.
09:47Yes.
09:48You see, that's the point of all of this, Junior.
09:50To show you that you should appreciate the people in your life.
09:53Oh, man.
09:54If I was ever alive again, I would tell Chef Pee Pee how much I love him and how much I appreciate him.
09:58Well, you're in luck.
09:59Because I'm going to put you back in your body.
10:01But you have to remember what we talked about.
10:04Really?
10:05Hey, kid.
10:05What?
10:06God?
10:06Hey.
10:07Hey, kid.
10:08Why do you sound like that, God?
10:09Hey, kid, wake up.
10:10Kid.
10:11Kid.
10:12Hey, hey, kid.
10:13Oh, thank God you're alive.
10:15I didn't want to have another incident I had to report to corporate.
10:17The insurance on this place is crazy enough as it is.
10:19What happened to me?
10:20Well, that homeless guy over there just domed you in the head with a skee ball.
10:23Homeless guy?
10:24That's God.
10:25Oh, did he tell you that?
10:26Because last week he told me he was a wizard.
10:27Hey, get out of here.
10:28Get out of here.
10:29Don't throw things.
10:30Get out of here before I call the police.
10:32I am the police.
10:33The homeless people.
10:34I have to go home and tell everyone I love them.
10:37Okay.
10:39Chef Pee Pee, your chicken parmesan is looking delicious.
10:42Oh, man, Chef Pee Pee, I love you so much.
10:44Do your girl for me.
10:45Ew, gross cooties.
10:46Thank you so much, Chef Pee Pee, for giving up millions of dollars just to take care of me.
10:50Millions of dollars?
10:51What are you talking about?
10:52You gave up owning a five-star restaurant and having millions of dollars just to be poured
10:56and take care of me.
10:57I wouldn't do that, Junior.
10:58I would sell you for $1,000 if I had the chance.
11:01Chef Pee Pee, you're so awesome.
11:02You're the best person in the world.
11:03And I'm not even mad at you anymore for forgetting about my birthday today.
11:06Wait, what are you talking about?
11:07Your birthday's tomorrow, you idiot.
11:09What?
11:10Tomorrow?
11:10Yes, your birthday is tomorrow.
11:12I don't know why you keep saying it's today.
11:13It's tomorrow at Chuck E. Cheese.
11:16Tomorrow?
11:16Oh, I'm an idiot.
11:23Oh, yeah, you are.
11:24I thought it was to...
11:26Well, I'll see you tomorrow at Chuck E. Cheese.
11:27I love you so much, Chef Pee Pee.
11:29Just get that off of me.
11:32Oh, man.
11:33I can't believe I forgot when my own birthday was.
11:35Yeah, it's pretty stupid, Junior.
11:36All right, Junior.
11:37Blow out your candles and wish for whatever you want.
11:40Whatever I want.
11:41Hmm, what do I want?
11:42What'd you wish for, Junior?
11:45I didn't wish for anything, because I already had everything I want.
11:48Right here.
11:49Yeah, so lame, Junior.
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