- 7 weeks ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00What, Jeffy? What is that?
00:04It's my chicken, Daddy!
00:05I'm choking the chicken!
00:07Well, Jeffy, don't choke the chicken in here!
00:09If you're gonna choke the chicken, do it in your room!
00:10Alright, Daddy.
00:11Oh, sorry, Daddy, it slipped!
00:13Well, don't let it slip again!
00:14Alright.
00:25Jeffy, stop it!
00:26Okay!
00:30Jeffy!
00:33Jeffy, stop it!
00:38Well, because you were making a lot of noise, Jeffy!
00:41Hold on, my phone's ringing, Jeffy!
00:43Here, give your stupid chicken back!
00:48Uh, hello?
00:49Hey, Mario!
00:50I need you to get down to the library immediately!
00:52The library? Why?
00:53Because we're having a very quiet business meeting, and I need you here!
00:57Okay, can I bring my son with me? I don't have a babysitter.
00:59Well, is he gonna be quiet?
01:04No.
01:05Well, then there's your answer, Mario.
01:06Okay, I'll be there in about ten minutes, I gotta get a babysitter.
01:08How about be here in five minutes?
01:10Okay, I'll be there in five minutes.
01:11How about three minutes?
01:13Okay, I'll be there in three minutes!
01:14How about just be here now?
01:16Okay, look, it's gonna take me a few minutes, I'll be there as fast as I can, okay?
01:19Good.
01:20Okay, I need a babysitter, who am I gonna call?
01:22Ghostbusters!
01:26I have to call the cops, I have to call the cops, that's the only people I can call.
01:28Uh, hello?
01:29Hey there, you call the police?
01:30Uh, yeah, come inside.
01:31Okay.
01:32Okay.
01:33So, what's the emergency, that your son's beating up this chicken?
01:37Jeffy, stop it!
01:38No, my son needs a babysitter and I was hoping you could babysit him.
01:42Wait, no, I'm a cop, not a babysitter!
01:44Well, it would only be for like 30 minutes!
01:46No, I have better things to do!
01:47Like what?
01:48Well, you know, like stopping crimes, like writing people tickets, and tasing people, and eating donuts!
01:53Well, it's only for 30 minutes, I don't have a babysitter, I can't leave him home alone!
01:57Okay, but what happens if I get a call for like an armed robbery or something?
02:00Oh, you're not gonna get an armed robbery call, it's the middle of the day!
02:02Nobody's gonna rob something in the middle of the day!
02:04Well, you'd be surprised!
02:05Look, it's only for 30 minutes!
02:07Okay, fine, but just be quick, okay?
02:09I'll be really quick, Jeffy, behave!
02:12Stop it!
02:13Stop, stop, stop it!
02:14Stop!
02:15Stop, stop it!
02:16Stop, you, stop!
02:18You have to listen to me, I'm a cop!
02:19Uh, hey kid, you wanna listen to the police radio?
02:21Okay!
02:22Pretty cool.
02:23Sometimes I fall asleep to it.
02:25Thank you for choosing Footlong Bangers!
02:28What kind of sandwich you want?
02:30Oh, I would like to get everything in the register!
02:33Oh no, he robbing me!
02:35He robbing me!
02:36Someone call the copo!
02:38Calling all units, all units.
02:40We have an armed robbery at the Footlong Banger's sandwich shop.
02:43Please use extreme caution.
02:45Subject is armed and dangerous.
02:47Oh my god, an armed robbery!
02:48I gotta go help!
02:49But I promised to watch this kid.
02:52Look, kid, I need you to come with me.
02:54And leave the chicken.
02:55Okay.
02:56Alright, Jeffy, you stay in the car.
02:58I gotta go in there and do something.
03:00What's happening?
03:01Don't worry about it.
03:02Just stay here.
03:03It's too dangerous.
03:04Give me all this money!
03:05Take the money!
03:06Take whatever you want!
03:07Just don't hurt me!
03:09Sign me a hundred real quick.
03:10My mother here!
03:11Hey you!
03:12Freeze!
03:13Oh crap, I forgot my gun!
03:15Oh!
03:16Oh!
03:17Officer down!
03:18Hop, hop, hop like a bunny dog!
03:22Man, I'm hungry!
03:23But he told me to stay in the trunk.
03:25I'm going to try and get a sandwich.
03:28I'm out of here!
03:29Get out of my way!
03:30Stupid!
03:31Nobody calls me stupid!
03:33Jeffy!
03:34Jeffy!
03:35You just stopped the robber.
03:36I did?
03:37Yeah, you're a hero.
03:38Alright guys, I'm back.
03:40What?
03:41Guys?
03:42Guys?
03:43Wow, Jeffy!
03:44You are a real hero!
03:45Thanks, mister!
03:46Well, what's going on?
03:47Well, Jeffy here stopped an armed robbery all by himself!
03:49What?
03:50Sure did, Daddy!
03:51You took him to an armed robbery?
03:52Look, I warned you this could happen, but it's okay.
03:54It worked out.
03:55Jeffy saved the day!
03:56Yeah, Daddy, look at my medal!
03:57I don't believe any of this happened.
03:59It's all over the news.
04:01Breaking news, okay?
04:03A child!
04:04A child!
04:05A child!
04:06A child!
04:07A child!
04:08A child!
04:09A child!
04:10A child!
04:11Has stopped an armed robber!
04:12At a local restaurant.
04:13Here's the police chief now with a special press conference.
04:16Hello!
04:17Today we are celebrating the heroism of these two men.
04:21This officer here was shot by a Nerf bullet in the line of duty.
04:25And for that, he has been awarded the Purple Heart.
04:29Thank you so much.
04:30I drew it myself.
04:31And this child here, Jeffy, single-handedly stopped an armed robber.
04:36Um, actually, I used both of my hands.
04:39Right.
04:40Well, for his heroism, he has been awarded the Congressional Second Place Medal of Honor.
04:45What?
04:46Jeffy, you actually stopped an armed robber!
04:47That's so brave of you!
04:48Yeah, Daddy!
04:49And I even got a second place medal!
04:51Second place medal?
04:52Why'd he get a second place medal?
04:53Oh, because Spider-Man got the first place medal.
04:55He always gets the first place medal.
04:57What did Spider-Man do?
04:58Well, you see, Jeffy just stopped an armed robber, but Spider-Man stopped a train from derailing with his bare hands.
05:03You tell me which is more impressive.
05:05Well, it's still cool that you got a medal, Jeffy.
05:07Yeah, and we're even offering Jeffy a job as a cop!
05:09What?!
05:10He's 15 years old!
05:11Yeah, but you see how he handled that robber?
05:13He took him down!
05:14I couldn't do that!
05:15I got shot!
05:16He got a medal!
05:17Well, I don't think Jeffy should be a cop, because he's too young, and I think he has the rest of his life to think about what he wants to be when he grows up.
05:22But, Daddy, I want to be a popo!
05:24See? He wants to be a popo!
05:25Well, Jeffy, being a popo is very dangerous, and I don't think you should do it.
05:30Well, that's okay, Daddy! I want to beat people up!
05:32Yeah, that's the spirit!
05:33Well, Jeffy, being a popo, you don't just beat people up, right?
05:36Well, yeah.
05:38Okay, well, Jeffy, look, if you really want to be it, then that's fine, but be careful, okay?
05:43Okay, Daddy!
05:44All right, great, I'll go get his stuff!
05:46All right, Jeffy, there's your official police uniform.
05:49Now, you wear that badge with honor.
05:51Just know that you can walk around telling anybody what to do.
05:53You are the law!
05:54Pee-pee!
05:55Yeah, all right, let's get you your gear.
05:57Now, this here's your beating stick.
05:59When people get uppity, you just whack them with it, like,
06:01Ugh!
06:02Oh, let me try!
06:03Ow!
06:04Not me!
06:05Ouch!
06:06Okay, these are your handcuffs.
06:07You use those to arrest people.
06:09And, uh, these are the keys.
06:10Do not lose them.
06:12All right, now this is your gun.
06:14It's, uh, not real, because you're a child, but there you go.
06:17Just don't point it at anybody.
06:19All right, there's one more thing you gotta do before you can become a police officer.
06:22You gotta get tased.
06:23Okay!
06:24All right, now hold still.
06:25This is gonna hurt a lot.
06:29Oh, that was fun!
06:30Do that again!
06:31Really?
06:32Yeah!
06:33Okay.
06:36Did that hurt?
06:37No, it felt silly.
06:38Oh, silly.
06:39Huh.
06:42Ow!
06:43No, that, that really, that hurts a lot.
06:45Okay, all right, all right, Jeffy.
06:47I think we're ready to go on patrol.
06:48Let's stop some bad guys.
06:49Okay!
06:50All right, Jeffy.
06:51This is your first patrol.
06:52We're on speed ticket duty.
06:53So we're gonna sit here, we're gonna wait for somebody to come by who's speeding,
06:56then we're gonna pull them over and give them a ticket, okay?
06:59Okay!
07:00This is gonna be fun!
07:01Yeah, it's pretty fun.
07:02Sometimes it gets a little boring, but what?
07:04Whoa!
07:05Did you see that guy?
07:06He must be doing ten over the speed limit!
07:07Let's get him!
07:12All right, Jeffy.
07:13We got him.
07:14Now I need you to follow me and watch how we give a routine speeding ticket.
07:16Okay!
07:17All right, Jeffy.
07:18Watch this.
07:19Sir?
07:20Sir, roll your window down.
07:22Sir?
07:23Oh, man.
07:24I know this guy.
07:25He's not gonna roll his window down.
07:26Because I don't have to.
07:27He thinks he doesn't have to roll his window down.
07:29Because I don't.
07:30Yes, you do, sir.
07:31Roll your window down.
07:32I'm not gonna do it.
07:33Roll it down.
07:34I don't have to.
07:35Sir, you better roll your window down.
07:36I'm not gonna roll it down.
07:37You better roll it down.
07:38No!
07:39Sir, if you don't roll your window down right now, I'm gonna break your window.
07:41This is all I legally be has to.
07:44Sir, we've been through this before.
07:45Roll it down more.
07:46A little more.
07:47No, for this is all I have to rolls it down.
07:50Learn the law.
07:51No, you will learn it.
07:52Roll your window down more.
07:53Fine.
07:54This is all you getting.
07:55All right, fine.
07:56Sir, do you know how fast you were going?
07:57Uh, you can tell me how fast I was going because you pulled me over.
08:00Sir, I know how fast you were going, but do you know how fast you were going?
08:03Well, if you know how fast I was going, why don't you tell me then?
08:06Okay, fine.
08:07Sir, you were going too fast.
08:08You were speeding.
08:09Well, too fast ain't a number.
08:10You better give me a number.
08:11Sir, whatever.
08:12Let me just see your license and registration, please.
08:14Do you got some warrant?
08:15What?
08:16No, that's not how this works.
08:17Yes, it is.
08:18You have to have a warrant to ask for my license and registrations.
08:21No, no, sir.
08:22I don't have to have a warrant.
08:23Just show me your license.
08:24All right, well, tell that to Facebook because I'm recording you.
08:27This officer trying to violate my rights by pulling me over and he don't have no warrant for my license and registrations.
08:35Okay, Jeffy, sometimes they're going to try to record you.
08:38They're allowed to do that, but just tell them they're not, okay?
08:41Sir, you're not allowed to record me.
08:42Yes, I am.
08:43This is my Second Amendment rights.
08:45I can record you and I can put it on Facebook.
08:48Say hi to Facebook, officer.
08:50Sir, you're not allowed to record me.
08:52Just give me your license.
08:53I don't has to.
08:54Yes, you do, sir.
08:55Give me your license right now.
08:56I'mma run.
08:57Don't do it.
08:58I'mma run.
08:59You better not run.
09:00What?
09:01Oh, man.
09:02He turned the car on.
09:03Here we go.
09:04I'mma run.
09:05You better not run.
09:06Here I go.
09:07Sir, you better not do it.
09:08Sir, sir.
09:09I'm leaving.
09:10Don't you do it.
09:11Here I go.
09:12Don't you run.
09:13Well, there he goes.
09:15All right, Jeffy.
09:16Back to the truck.
09:17All right, let's get him.
09:18He's already gone.
09:19Wait, we're not going to chase him?
09:21No, it's a whole thing.
09:22I don't really have that much gas and he's already far away.
09:25And he's in a car and I'm in a truck.
09:27And it's dark.
09:28So, no.
09:29That's okay.
09:30We got his tag number.
09:31We'll get him later.
09:32But I hope you learned a lot from that.
09:33You know, if I had got him out of the car first before he drove off, we would have had him.
09:36So just remember that.
09:37Always get him out of the car first.
09:39All right, now let's wait for some more speeders.
09:46I used to be a drummer in high school.
09:47It was so cool.
09:48Anyway, what's your favorite kind of donut?
09:50Chocolate.
09:51Oh yeah, mine's cream filled.
09:52Whoa!
09:53Do you see that guy?
09:54Let's go get him.
09:58All right, Jeffy.
09:59We got him.
10:00Now I'm going to let you take this one by yourself.
10:01I think you're ready.
10:02Okay.
10:03All right, now just remember what I taught you.
10:04Got it.
10:07Roll your window down.
10:09Oh, I'm so sorry, officer.
10:10How are you on this beautiful night?
10:12Oh, I'm sorry, officer.
10:14Were we speeding?
10:16Yeah, you were.
10:17Oh, no.
10:18If only there was something I could do to get us out of this ticket.
10:23Huh? Huh?
10:24You can show me some license and registration.
10:26For what?
10:27I say we waste them.
10:28Hold on, baby.
10:29I'm good with persuasion.
10:30Give me a second.
10:31Uh, officer.
10:32I wasn't paying attention to the dash.
10:33I didn't know we were speeding.
10:34But my wife here, she's in labor.
10:36Oh, you in labor, baby.
10:37Oh, I'm in labor.
10:38Oh, I think I feel the baby coming.
10:40I feel the hash.
10:42Oh, the pain and agony my wife is in.
10:44Uh, officer.
10:45We need to get to the hospital fast.
10:47You're not going anywhere until you show me some license and registration.
10:50Kill him.
10:51Uh, uh, officer.
10:52Um, can I just get a warning, please?
10:54You can get out of the car.
10:55All right, that's it.
10:56I'm recording you.
10:57Yeah, record this for Facebook, baby.
10:59Hey, Facebook.
11:00Can you believe this?
11:01There's an officer trying to arrest me because of my skin color.
11:04And I'm in labor.
11:05Oh.
11:06If you don't get out of the car, I'm going to tase you.
11:09No.
11:10I go to church.
11:11No, I go to church.
11:16I want you.
11:17I want you.
11:18I want you.
11:19And I'm in labor.
11:21Oh.
11:22What you are watching is cell phone footage of a police officer tasing an innocent man.
11:28The police department has responded by firing the officer.
11:31And they're holding a live press conference now.
11:33Let's go to that.
11:34Are we rolling?
11:35Okay, good.
11:36Darn it, Jeffy.
11:37Give me that badge.
11:38I'm going to embarrass the entire police department.
11:40But I didn't do anything.
11:41No, we don't have any more room in this precinct for crooked cops.
11:45So you get out of here.
11:46Oh.
11:47What?
11:48What's going on?
11:49All right, Jeffy.
11:50You're safely home from all the rioting.
11:51Well, what happened?
11:52Well, Jeffy, he had tased a guy who said he went to church and they got it on camera.
11:55But he wouldn't give me his license or his registration and I didn't want him running away.
11:59Yeah, but they got it on the cell phone camera.
12:01Doesn't look too good, kid.
12:02Sorry.
12:03We got to fire you.
12:04Oh, man.
12:05I liked being a po-po.
12:06So what's going to happen now?
12:07Oh.
12:08Well, your son can never be a police officer now.
12:10And you should probably stay out of the public for a little while.
12:12Anyway, I'm done here.
12:13Bye.
12:14Well, Jeffy, at least you're home safe.
12:16What are you going to do now that you're not a cop?
12:18Well, then let me keep the tager.
12:29Bye.
12:30Bye.
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