Mitchell and Webb — Coming Out

heiji

2 days ago

From Mitchell and Webb Are Not Helping: Episode 6.

Transcript

00:01Stephen, it's finally happening. She's asked for a word.

00:04Right, yes.

00:06Can she say anything else?

00:08She had something important to tell us.

00:10OK, I'm ready.

00:12I'm getting ready.

00:15Just remember, we've got one chance to do this right.

00:21Oh, hello, love.

00:23Do you want to sit down?

00:25Your mum says you've got something on your mind.

00:31It's OK, sweetie. Take your time.

00:33I'm letting her take her time.

00:35All the time you need.

00:37For a while now, I wanted to tell you guys something,

00:40but something stopped me.

00:42Anyway, I just can't carry on not saying.

00:44I want you to know all of me.

00:46We want to know you too, love,

00:48and we're ready to accept whatever...

00:52Whatever it is you want to tell us about your...

00:56Sexuality.

00:57Right.

00:58It's all right, love.

00:59You can say it.

01:00OK.

01:01Mum, Dad, I'm...

01:05I'm a right slag.

01:10I just want to say thank you so much

01:14for trusting us enough to share that with us.

01:17Oh, God, that feels good to say aloud.

01:19I feel so much lighter.

01:22Honestly, I think I've always known,

01:24since you were a little girl,

01:25that I was a right slag.

01:26That you were a right slag.

01:28And you're not upset?

01:29No, of course not.

01:31And your father's not upset either, are you, love?

01:34No, of course not.

01:36I accept and love you...

01:38whatever.

01:39Whether or not you're a...

01:42a right slut.

01:43Stephen!

01:44Dad, I knew you'd be like this.

01:46What have I said?

01:47She's not a slut.

01:48I'm a slag, OK?

01:50A right slag.

01:51I'm sorry.

01:52I just want to make sure I've understood.

01:54Help me to understand.

01:56What exactly does being a right slag mean to you?

02:04Just that I really like it up me.

02:06Right up.

02:07I don't know how else to say it.

02:08I'm a slag bag, a ho bag.

02:10I'm over easy.

02:11I'm happy with all that terminology.

02:13Some people would call me the village bike.

02:16And you'd be OK with that?

02:18It's just who I am.

02:19It's who she is, Stephen.

02:20But you're not a slut?

02:22Um, no, Dad.

02:23A slut gets stuff in return for sex.

02:26Money.

02:27A flat, maybe.

02:29I give it away for free.

02:31I put it about a lot.

02:33With anyone.

02:34Anyone at all.

02:35I'm a slag.

02:36I gobble for Britain.

02:38And I'd like to know that you, my parents,

02:41support me as I do that.

02:43Is that so weird?

02:44I suppose not.

02:46No, love.

02:47In fact, I'll tell you what.

02:48On your graduation day next summer,

02:51me and your mum will be there in the audience

02:53watching you accept your certificate, your special scroll.

02:57And we'll be as proud as punch.

03:01And if a stranger sitting next to me says,

03:04Is that your daughter?

03:06She looks like a right slag.

03:08Is she?

03:10I won't get angry.

03:12I won't hit him.

03:14I'll say, you're absolutely right.

03:16She really is a filthy whore.

03:19Stephen!

03:20What?!

Mitchell and Webb — Coming Out

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