00:00Stuff up. It's been confirmed tonight that 12 more farmers have been caught trying to smuggle
00:10their farms out of the country. They were intercepted on a channel ferry after the
00:14crew reported clods of turf and topsoil jamming the doors to the hold. During the last month
00:19over 400 farms have disappeared from Great Britain, particularly hard hit as Suffolk
00:24and Gloucestershire, now little more than patches of bare earth. It's not known for
00:28certain where the farms end up, but satellite pictures show what might be a
00:32large number of agricultural holdings in Burma, where blocks of foreign land are
00:36known to be traded in huge underground markets.
00:43I'm Alan Partridge. Hello. Later we'll be showing you all the hot tennis action at
00:48tonight's Big Tennis Confrontation. Set point for Ed Berg.
00:53He's got it. No. That was out. Surely. I can't believe it. The umpire and the computer
01:04says it's in. Let's have a look. No, definitely out. Just shows your computers can go wrong.
01:13Anyone who's seen 2001 A Space Oddity will know that when Hal refused to open the pod door.
01:20The actor Michael Cain has revealed that he has a tail. In a frank interview today, Cain described
01:28his struggle to come to terms with the tail, which is two feet long, muscular and shiny,
01:33and thrashes about when he gets angry. He said he'd only managed to keep it hidden with strong
01:38muscle relaxants and had finally decided to have it surgically removed, a decision he described
01:42as the best he's ever made. This is the best investment I ever made in my entire life.
01:47To be enlarged in our main programme, is this the man behind Britain's police
01:56and disturbing evidence of bullying in the Church of England?
02:03The bishop was taking Colin through the steps of a christening for the next day. He then took
02:09Colin by the scruff of the neck and said, I'll show you how to do a christening. I'll sort of,
02:17I'll show you. And he just pushed his head towards the font.
02:22That's the day today today.
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