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00:00This is the Channel Nine-Nine News Network.
00:07Time now to check in for our weekly trip across the Atlantic,
00:10examining the hot topics in the UK.
00:13Hi, I'm nine-time Pulitzer Prize-winning news anchor
00:17and Rear of the Year 1977 Douglas Digger Daily.
00:22And together with my crack team of international correspondents,
00:25we are here to lift the lid on what's really going on
00:28in that country we Americans like to call
00:31our special little friend.
00:34This is Britain Today Tonight.
00:38On tonight's show, security expert John Donovan
00:42tests the vigilance of the great British public
00:44with the help of a terrorist look-alike.
00:48I want to go to Euro Disney.
00:49Euro Disney, Euro Disney.
00:51I want to fly plane at the Goofy's mouth.
00:53Special correspondent Peter P. Powers
00:55gains unparalleled access to the British Secret Service's
00:58most daring mission yet.
00:59They're going to recruit, wait for it, more women.
01:02To our Kim Joon.
01:04Sir?
01:04Kim Joon Il, Nicholas Charles.
01:07Okay, to talk.
01:08And in Entertainment Today Tonight,
01:09Mike Arminian reveals how British actors
01:11are featuring in a campaign to show
01:13the lighter side of U.S. military drones.
01:16Thank you, America.
01:18Thank you, Mr. Joon.
01:19You're watching Britain Today Tonight.
01:24Thanks for taking the time.
01:27The number of suspicious incidents reported in Britain
01:30by members of the public is an incredible
01:323,500 per day.
01:34That's 92 incidents every 38 minutes.
01:38The advice from Britain's security experts is
01:40trust your instincts.
01:42If he looks like a terrorist, he probably is one.
01:45With this in mind, our security expert John Donovan
01:48hit the streets of Britain
01:49to test just how vigilant the average storekeeper
01:53is at spotting a terrorist on the prowl.
01:56He files this exclusive report.
01:58My name is John Michael Patrick Donovan
02:03and this week from the confines
02:05of my military-grade surveillance vehicle
02:07armed with an array of hidden cameras,
02:10I'll be taking unsuspecting shop assistants
02:12on the terror ride of their lives.
02:17Meet Geoff, a terrorist look-alike for hire
02:20and unfortunate victim of over 50 stop-and-searches
02:23by the Newcastle Police Force.
02:26Armed with an earpiece,
02:27I'll be sending Geoff into various shops
02:29on the high street.
02:31Those vigilant enough to sniff out the terror
02:33will be awarded the ultimate accolade
02:35of high street hero.
02:37Why?
02:38Because everyday heroes deserve thanks and recognition.
02:41Geoff's first visit is to travel agent Judy.
02:44Will she be conned into selling him
02:46a one-way flight of death?
02:48Muffy, send in Geoff.
02:49Sending in Geoff now, sir.
02:53I'm looking for a holiday.
02:55I'm looking for a holiday.
02:57I need a flight.
02:59I need a flight.
03:00You need just a flight, not the accommodation.
03:03I need a flight somewhere popular.
03:06Somewhere popular.
03:07Spain, Portugal.
03:08No, no, I don't like these places.
03:10No, no, no, no, no, no.
03:11So where do you want to go?
03:13I want to go to Euro Disney.
03:15Euro Disney, Euro Disney.
03:16Via the Statue of Liberty.
03:18Via the Statue of Liberty.
03:19But immediately, Geoff's 7,000-mile detour
03:22makes Judy suspicious.
03:24No, I'm sorry, I'm not...
03:25Please, please, please.
03:26I want to fly a plane into Goofy's big mouth.
03:29I want to fly a plane into Goofy's mouth.
03:30You need to go elsewhere, sir.
03:32Would you like to leave, please?
03:33Thank you very much.
03:34Judy was having none of it.
03:36But would the boys next door
03:38at the 3D printing shop be as alert?
03:40Remember, you're a terrorist mastermind.
03:44Geoff's coming in.
03:45Hello.
03:47Hello.
03:47I've been researching about 3D printing.
03:50I've been researching about 3D printing.
03:52You can print nuclear detonator
03:54in shape of suitcase.
03:56Can you print nuclear detonator
03:58in shape of suitcase?
04:00No.
04:01What about gun in shape of travel hairdryer?
04:04What about gun in shape of travel hairdryer?
04:07What about grenade in shape of small pineapple?
04:10What about grenade in the shape of a small pineapple?
04:14No.
04:14We don't do any weapons here at all.
04:16Of any sort.
04:17It's not even replicas.
04:18I'll pay you whatever you want.
04:20But no amount of money was going to convince Mike
04:22to aid and abet a terrorist criminal scumbag.
04:25However many times Geoff tried.
04:27I tell you what you can print me with your 3D printer.
04:30I'll tell you what you can print me with your 3D printer.
04:33A 3D printer.
04:35A 3D printer.
04:39Goodbye.
04:40Goodbye.
04:41So far it was High Street Heroes 2,
04:44terrorist scum nil.
04:45But nothing was to prepare me for what was about to happen
04:48in what I thought was a shoe shop.
04:50What's going on?
04:51Muffy, I've lost visual contact on Geoff.
04:53The system shut down, sir.
04:54What?
04:55I'm going in blind.
04:56Geoff, can you hear me?
04:57Yes, hi.
04:58I'd like to buy some shoes.
04:59I'd like to buy some shoes, please.
05:01We don't sell shoes here.
05:03Some large shoes.
05:04Large shoes.
05:05Yeah, but we don't sell, we sell bread.
05:07What's the least suspicious pair of shoes you sell?
05:10Shoes.
05:10We don't sell shoes.
05:12Here it's bread.
05:14It's no shoes here.
05:15Geoff, where are you?
05:17It's a shop.
05:17What kind of shop is it, Geoff?
05:19Bread.
05:19What?
05:20Bread, yes.
05:21A bread shop?
05:21Geoff, attempt to purchase the largest loaf of bread they have.
05:25I need a, I need a...
05:26Geoff, wake up!
05:27You're a terrorist mastermind.
05:29You sound like a Newcastle pensioner.
05:31I need a large piece of bread.
05:33Big than this, no.
05:35No, I need something bigger.
05:36Something bigger.
05:36I need bigger than that.
05:38Do you have anything the size of a nuclear detonation device?
05:40Do you have anything the size of a nuclear detonation device?
05:45What?
05:46Oh, she's gone.
05:47Where's she gone?
05:47Muffy.
05:48Could this bakery shop assistant have gone to alert the authorities?
05:52Oh, no, here she comes.
05:52It's the proprietor.
05:55I want...
05:56A large piece of bread.
05:57Just a large, big, big bread to hide something.
06:01Large loaf of bread.
06:03Bloomer.
06:03Yes, a bloomer.
06:04I want a bloomer.
06:05Bloomer.
06:06For my boomer.
06:07I want the bloomer to go boom.
06:08I want the bloomer to go boom.
06:10Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:11Ha, bloomer.
06:13Okay, going in.
06:14Brad, cover me.
06:16Shit.
06:17Get out of the way, Muffy.
06:18Let's go.
06:19Name's John Donovan.
06:20You're live on television.
06:21Congratulations.
06:23You, my friend, are a hero.
06:25That's right.
06:26We find the real-life heroes.
06:28You're live.
06:28How do you feel?
06:29I'm not sure.
06:30When the terrorists wanted to make a nuclear device out of a 3D printer, what was going
06:34through your mind?
06:35Not a lot, to be honest.
06:36You knew that this guy over here was, in fact, a mastermind terrorist criminal.
06:41No, I didn't know that, no.
06:42You knew something was up, didn't you?
06:44No.
06:45That's good.
06:45That's good, because this guy, he doesn't give anything away.
06:48Not before or afterwards.
06:49This is John Donovan.
06:51Give this man a medal.
06:52Close up on his face.
06:53Close up on her face.
06:54No, don't.
06:55Close up on his face.
06:58High Street Heroes of Britain, America salutes you.
07:02Entertainment news now, with the network's favorite smoothie, Mike Arminian, as he follows Hollywood
07:09casting director Polly Adieu, who's looking for British actors to feature in a new advertising
07:15campaign for military drones.
07:19Mike Arminian has this.
07:20Thanks, Doug.
07:26With the approval rating of the use of military drones at an all-time low, the U.S. government
07:31has had to turn to Hollywood for help.
07:34With a major pro-drone infomercial currently in pre-production, enter controversial casting
07:40director Polly Adieu.
07:42Today, you're going to see the darker side of casting, you know, little tricks of the
07:48trade.
07:49Aware that some of the actors may feel uncomfortable about appearing in a commercial for an unmanned
07:53killing machine, Polly comes up with a clever ruse to get them on the casting couch, telling
07:58them he's working on a Hollywood blockbuster everyone's heard of.
08:02Listen, apologies for all the secrecy.
08:04Okay.
08:05We're casting Star Wars.
08:07Yep.
08:07Episode 9.
08:08Fantastic.
08:09Let's read it through once and see where we get to.
08:11Interior.
08:12Millennium Falcon.
08:14C-3PO enters.
08:15There seems to be a problem with the hyperdrive.
08:18I know.
08:18Bleep, bleep, bleep.
08:19Oh, do be quiet, BB-8.
08:21No, 3PO.
08:22BB-8 is right.
08:23I sense a presence.
08:26No, Chewie.
08:27Not hand.
08:28Bleep, bleep, bleep.
08:29No, BB-8.
08:30Not half two.
08:31BB-8.
08:33With the actors now completely at ease.
08:35Look at the whole galaxy with just one look.
08:37Galaxy, galaxy, galaxy, galaxy, galaxy, galaxy.
08:40The galaxy.
08:42It's time for Polly to show them the dark side of his force.
08:46And cut it.
08:47Pretty good.
08:47How did that feel?
08:48Do you know what?
08:49Honestly.
08:49Yeah.
08:50Just the opportunity.
08:51Thank you so much.
08:52I know.
08:52We're not quite done yet.
08:54Sorry.
08:54By revealing the script, he's really here to cast.
08:57Maybe I could throw another couple of projects your way.
09:00Sure.
09:00Have you ever done a drone infomercial before?
09:03Never.
09:03What's your Afghani like?
09:07I can give it a go.
09:08Great.
09:09With the actors on board, Polly starts with the hardest role to cast.
09:14That of a drone-loving Afghani villager.
09:18Some people in my village say drone is bad.
09:21They say it's a devil with wings.
09:23But I know that is not true.
09:25I know drones keep us safe.
09:27Thank you, America.
09:28Thank you, America.
09:29And thank you, Mr. Drone.
09:32That's great.
09:33Now we just have to do a little flyby.
09:35So imagine that this camera is the drone.
09:38Okay?
09:39And go.
09:39Thank you, America.
09:41Thank you, Mr. Drone.
09:45That's great.
09:46One more.
09:47And action.
09:48Having found his perfect villager, all Polly needs now is to cast his drone operator.
09:54And action.
09:55Last summer, I joined the U.S. military as a drone operator.
09:59In the last 18 months, I've clocked 22 enemy kills and only one non-competent fatality.
10:04Take that, ISIS.
10:05Become a military drone operator today.
10:08So you're with us or against us?
10:12That's great.
10:13I love it.
10:14You're very financialist, Joe.
10:15Thank you so much.
10:15Thank you so much.
10:16It's been a successful day's casting.
10:18You should know within the next seven to eight months.
10:22Right.
10:22Okay.
10:22Okay?
10:23Great.
10:23Great.
10:24So keep a good eye out for those drone commercials, because they may pop up when you least expect
10:30them, much like the military drones themselves, and kill you.
10:34This is Mike Arminian for Entertainment Today Tonight for Britain Today Tonight.
10:39Well, that's just about it for part one.
10:41But coming up in part two, Peter P. Powers gains exclusive access to the British Secret
10:46Service's latest mission, recruiting more women.
10:50Just popping up for 10 minutes.
10:51Okay.
10:53And the case of mistaken identity that went viral as one young lady ended up on live TV
11:00when she was only in the building for a job interview.
11:03How long is this interview?
11:05It's 10 minutes.
11:06Oh, my God.
11:07That's all coming up after these messages.
11:09You're watching Britain Today Tonight.
11:19Welcome back to Britain Today Tonight.
11:21The show The Radical Left would just love to alt-right delete.
11:26Women often say they become invisible as they get older, which is great, as that's just the
11:31quality UK intelligence agencies are looking for, especially as the British government has
11:36recently insisted that they have just four years to increase the number of female agents
11:40in MI6 by 1,000.
11:42Our special correspondent, Peter P. Powers, has been granted unprecedented access as the recruitment
11:49search gets underway.
11:50I'm award-winning documentary filmmaker, Peter P. Powers.
11:55So put that with the other scene, four frames, and you put your music on it.
11:59Hard cut to the next scene.
12:01What does the P stand for?
12:02Persistence?
12:03Perseverance?
12:04Persuasion?
12:05Take your pick.
12:06Southern Donald.
12:07Peter P. Powers.
12:08The British government has told its secret service to recruit more spies, and it's insisting
12:15they're not so much James Bond as Jane Bond.
12:19In a television first for Britain Today Tonight, I've been allowed to secretly film super spooks
12:24Sir Nicholas Charles as he attempts to recruit women with just the right skill set to become
12:30a spy.
12:30Oh, hi.
12:31You're the temp for the day.
12:32Lovely to meet you.
12:33Lovely to meet you.
12:34Carly believes that she has been hired to temp for the day by a firm of chartered surveyors,
12:39when in fact she's been singled out as a prized candidate for a career as a top spook,
12:45requiring a full day's assessment by Sir Nicholas.
12:49Carly, you can come in now.
12:50Bring your notepad, would you?
12:51Okay.
12:52Beginning with a test designed to test Carly's attention to detail.
12:58Dictation.
12:58Um, birthday card.
13:00Okay.
13:01Need a birthday card.
13:02Um, Boris Johnson.
13:04Boris Johnson?
13:05Yes.
13:05Really?
13:06And...
13:06That's great.
13:08Well, it's not.
13:09You haven't met him, darling.
13:10You may want to just take this down.
13:11Now, dear Boris.
13:13Yeah?
13:13Thank you so much for the invite.
13:16Yeah?
13:16If you expose your chap to my wife ever again,
13:21I'll grab you by the Boris and cut off your Johnson.
13:25Happy birthday, Nicholas and Amanda.
13:29Could you just read that back?
13:31Dear Boris.
13:31Dear BJ.
13:33Dear BJ.
13:34Yes?
13:34If you ever expose your chap to my wife again,
13:37I'll grab you by the Boris and cut off your Johnson.
13:40Wonderful.
13:41Fantastic.
13:41Encouraged by Carly's professionalism,
13:44Sir Nicholas decides to test her powers of discretion.
13:47Could you get me the dialing code for North Korea?
13:50Yeah, of course.
13:52By deliberately allowing her to eavesdrop
13:55on an entirely fictitious long-distance conversation
13:59with a now-deceased foreign despot.
14:03Do I are?
14:04Hello?
14:05Do I are Kim Joon?
14:06Sorry?
14:07Kim Joon Il, Nicholas Charles.
14:09Hmm?
14:10Do I want to...
14:11Do I want to...
14:12Do I want to...
14:13Do I want to...
14:14Do I want to...
14:14Do I want to...
14:15Do I want to...
14:15Do I want to...
14:15Do I want to...
14:16Do I want to...
14:16Sorry?
14:17Hello?
14:18Hello?
14:19Oh, sorry.
14:19Sorry.
14:20I left that on.
14:21Apologies.
14:23Don't worry.
14:24Do!
14:25The...
14:25The...
14:26The...
14:26The...
14:26The...
14:27The...
14:27The...
14:28The...
14:28The...
14:28The...
14:28The...
14:29The...
14:29The...
14:30The...
14:31The...
14:32The...
14:32The...
14:33Bastard.
14:34Carly is clearly demonstrating both the discretion and emotional intelligence
14:38MI6 has been told to look for.
14:41But there is one quality above all others Sir Nicholas insists his spies must possess.
14:46I'm just popping up for ten minutes.
14:48Okay?
14:49Unflappability.
14:50Can I get you anything when I'm out?
14:51No, I'm good.
14:53Okay, excellent.
15:02At this critical juncture in Carly's assessment, Sir Nicholas deems it necessary to let her in
15:09on some top secret procedural techniques.
15:13Sorry about all the, uh...
15:15I suppose you must know that most blind people that you see in central London are in fact
15:19working for, well, me.
15:23I don't know.
15:24I don't know.
15:25I don't know.
15:26I don't know.
15:27I don't know.
15:28Yeah.
15:29I don't know.
15:30I don't know.
15:31I don't know.
15:32I don't know.
15:33I don't know.
15:34But holding her nerve, Sir Nicholas moves on to the final phase of his covert recruitment
15:39operation, establishing just how seriously Carly takes the subject of national security.
15:45Terror threat level.
15:46I set it last night, but I can't remember what I left it as.
15:50Current threat level for the international terrorism in the UK severe.
15:55Severe?
15:56Yeah.
15:57Right.
15:58What do you think?
15:59We should bring it up to highly severe or mild?
16:00Should we give them a weekend off?
16:02Bring it down to mild?
16:04No.
16:05No?
16:06I think it...
16:07No.
16:08Keep them scared?
16:09Yeah.
16:10Okay, great.
16:11Let's do that.
16:12With Carly having provided Sir Nicholas with the answer he was looking for, and with
16:17her evaluation complete...
16:18Darling, would you come in for a second?
16:20Yes, of course.
16:21Does Sir Nicholas think Carly has the necessary qualities for a career in the British Secret
16:26Service?
16:27I think by now you understand that we're not actually charge of surveyors.
16:31No.
16:32I'd like to offer you a permanent position.
16:34What?
16:35With the organisation.
16:36What would I be doing?
16:38Well, you know, usual spying on people on buses, pretending to be a honey trap at a cheap
16:45hotel.
16:46We could fly you to various locations in the world where you would go on very dangerous
16:52missions.
16:53But you might have a good time doing it.
16:55I know I did when I was younger.
16:56Would you like to think about it?
16:57Yeah.
16:58Great.
16:59Love to.
17:00After the covert filming was over, Sir Nicholas told me personally that Carly had turned down
17:06his offer of a job with MI6.
17:09But he would say that, wouldn't he?
17:13This is Peter P. Powers for Britain Today Tonight.
17:21Peter P. Powers there, getting to the parts other journalists just can't reach.
17:26Even if it is a bit of a squeeze, Pete.
17:32It's not often you go for a job interview in IT and end up being grilled by the Middle
17:37East's most feared political interviewer, Sam Samedy.
17:40But that's exactly what happened this week to one young lady, Sharice Cole.
17:44Sharice arrives at Channel Kuwait News' London studio, where she is mistaken for a best-selling
17:51author promoting her new book.
17:53What happens next nearly broke the internet.
17:55How do I pronounce your name?
17:56Sharice.
17:57Sharice.
17:58I'm Sam Samedy, this is Face to Face.
18:03Joining us today is a young inventor pioneering some of the most cutting edge technology the
18:08planet has ever seen.
18:10What is this new technology that you claim to have invented?
18:13Can we take a break, please?
18:18Take a break?
18:19Well, we are live now.
18:20I don't, what, the, who?
18:24Realizing the error, Samedy buys time by immediately throwing to a commercial.
18:29We'll be back after these short messages.
18:32But unable to find the correct guest, and with his professional reputation on the line,
18:38Samedy convinces Sharice to stay put and play along.
18:42How long is this interview?
18:44It's ten minutes.
18:45Oh, my God.
18:46It's fine.
18:47Just think of a book, think of a book.
18:48Welcome back.
18:49My name's Sam Samedy, this is Face to Face.
18:51I'm here with technical whiz kid, Shanice, who has written a book on the subject.
18:57Shanice, what is the title of this book?
19:00Oh, my gosh.
19:01AI, the revolution.
19:03And there is a very incredible chapter in the book, isn't there?
19:09And what is the title of this chapter?
19:10Because it's a chapter title that's very close to your heart.
19:13Oh, yes.
19:16It's about how technology has helped people with special illnesses and, yeah.
19:28And the name of the chapter is?
19:30For hospital visits.
19:33Uh-huh.
19:34Very insightful there.
19:38Insightful, maybe.
19:39Well, that's all we've got time for.
19:41Thank you, Jonice.
19:42Mortifying, definitely.
19:44I'm Sam Samedy.
19:45This is Face to Face.
19:47See you next time.
19:48Thanks for watching.
19:50Nice job, Sam.
19:52I'm sure no one noticed.
19:54Well, where is he getting my reception?
19:56Well, that's it for this edition.
19:59Tonight's show was brought to you in association with Eskimo Club Car Tires.
20:04There's real seal in every wheel.
20:07I'm Digger Daly.
20:09Thanks for taking the time.
20:26Bye.
20:27Bye.
20:28Bye.
20:29Bye.
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