- 3 months ago
Taskmaster S20 E02 >>> https://dai.ly/x9qt6xe
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00:00Oh, no!
00:06Hello?
00:13Hey!
00:19Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:25There.
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:33Hello! Thank you!
00:35Welcome to Taskmaster,
00:37a set of challenges presided over by a temperamental dictator.
00:40It's a sort of upbeat North Korea.
00:42And I'm Kim Yong-Fung.
00:49Let's meet our citizens for the first time.
00:52They are...
00:53Anya Magliano!
00:56Maisie Adam!
00:58Phil Ellis!
01:00Reece Shearsmith!
01:02And Sanjeev Bhaskar!
01:07And next to me,
01:08a man who I once thought I saw riding on the back of a baby elephant
01:12with a tiny trunk to discover he simply had no trousers on.
01:18It's...
01:19It's...
01:21Little Alex Horne!
01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25Yeah.
01:27Hello, everyone. It's lovely to be here. It's lovely to see you, Greg.
01:29I actually think you're great.
01:30Thanks.
01:31Thanks, man.
01:32But I do think I can help.
01:34With a couple of enhancements.
01:36On the count of three, would you mind smiling?
01:38One, two, three.
01:39No!
01:41No?
01:43I can do...
01:44I can do a couple of these.
01:46How about doing a nice big blink to camera?
01:48A blink?
01:49A blink.
01:50One, two, three.
01:52Yeah.
01:53Snare.
01:54Snare drum.
01:55Open your mouth.
01:56One, two, three.
01:58LAUGHTER
02:00Yeah?
02:01Yeah.
02:02Yeah.
02:03By your standards, not bad.
02:05OK, here we go.
02:06What's the first prize task of this series, little Alex Horne?
02:10Well, my guy, today you asked him quite specifically to bring in
02:14a very soft thing which would be most beneficial for Greg Davis.
02:19OK, so the very soft thing Greg thinks he'd find most beneficial
02:22will get the full five points, then the winner of the episode
02:25will take home all five very soft things even though they're
02:27intended to benefit Greg, but Greg won't mind as it's bound
02:30to be a great big bunch of crap.
02:32Thanks very much.
02:34Over and out.
02:35OK, Anya, welcome.
02:38What soft thing did you bring me?
02:40I brought you a bum cushion.
02:42OK.
02:46It doesn't look unlike my bum.
02:50So I made it extra soft because I added some cat hair on it.
02:54From my cats, Chicken and Rickon.
02:57Chicken and Rickon.
02:58Now, the problem for you and your bald cats is I am profoundly
03:02allergic to cats.
03:03Oh, no!
03:05What I will say is this, at least you've made an effort.
03:08The people I get angry with are the people who haven't made
03:10an effort.
03:11Yeah, when we got them spayed, I said, can I keep the hair?
03:14Because they had to shave some of them to put like an injection in.
03:17Oh, that's lovely.
03:18Yeah.
03:19So this hair is just before they had their wounds removed.
03:23It's from the really special zones.
03:25Ah, great.
03:26Which you might not be allergic to that.
03:29Well, I've never...
03:33I've never put that to the test.
03:34But never say never.
03:36Yeah.
03:38Maisie.
03:39Er...
03:40Buh, buh, buh.
03:41I'm sorry.
03:42Small talk.
03:43How are you?
03:44Very well, thanks, Greg.
03:45How are you?
03:46What have you brought in?
03:51I've brought in a manly bonnet for you.
03:54I'm concerned about banging your head on things, what with your...
03:57Extraordinary height.
03:58Extraordinary height, yeah.
03:59Here it is.
04:00Maisie's bonnet.
04:01So you've got...
04:04I didn't want you to feel emasculated by wearing a bonnet,
04:06so I've stuck loads of manly things on it.
04:09Oh, that's nice.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Er, barbecue on the top.
04:12Lovely.
04:13A bit of weight, toolbox.
04:15A couple bottles of beers for the lads.
04:18My dad's quite tall and he always hits the top of his head
04:21and it scabs over.
04:23And what better to protect it than a miniature barbecue?
04:29I really like it.
04:30Wow.
04:31You're welcome.
04:32I've got nothing negative to say
04:33and I'm not allergic to any of those things.
04:35Phil?
04:36What is the softest thing in the universe?
04:39And we all know that is the hands and voices of the elderly.
04:44So...
04:46So I thought if I just, like, pop these on,
04:48these elderly people's hands, though.
04:51Yeah.
04:52They fit like a glove.
04:53I mean, that's perfect, innit?
04:54Yeah.
04:55So I thought...
04:57It's like...
04:58If you just enjoy the...
04:59If we play the cassette...
05:00Yeah, you ready...
05:01Of a softly-spoken elderly lady...
05:02Here is the elderly lady talking now.
05:05Hello, Greg.
05:06You're such a wonderful person.
05:09We're all so proud of you.
05:11Such a big, strong, beefy boy.
05:15Good, innit?
05:17Is that an old lady?
05:18It is an old lady, yes.
05:19Well, it's the oldest one I could find.
05:23Erm, I found it quite distressing.
05:26I think if you'd brought an old lady on,
05:28maybe it would have been more beneficial.
05:30I know.
05:31It's weird, though.
05:32No-one would come with me.
05:33Yeah.
05:35Rhys, what did you bring us?
05:36Erm, my first question is, are you allergic to feathers?
05:39I am.
05:42Right, well, moving on.
05:44Let's imagine I'm not.
05:45I have created for you...
05:48..a fortune-telling raven.
05:52Didn't I say? That's what I was hoping for.
05:54Here is the fortune-telling raven.
06:00There it is.
06:01Every morning, we'll give you a prediction for the events of that day.
06:05Raven!
06:07Tell me my fortune.
06:12There it is, look.
06:13Pick one up for you.
06:14What's it?
06:16You will leave the iron on.
06:21Greg, you've got to leave and get home.
06:24Yeah, like I iron.
06:28Christ, none of these are rubbish.
06:30You must be feeling the heat, aren't you, Sanjay?
06:32Totally.
06:33I've gone, um, incredibly practical.
06:36Here it is.
06:37Nice big blanket.
06:38Do you see?
06:40And there it is.
06:42And there he is.
06:43Made from...
06:44The contestant who grabbed something on his way to the show.
06:49It's electric.
06:51Oh!
06:52It warms up.
06:53Wait a moment.
06:54It's made from the finest cat...
06:55Er, sheep hair.
06:58Or wool, as I believe some people call it.
07:01No, because I thought...
07:02You know, because you are tall, you feel the cold quicker than anyone else.
07:07OK.
07:08You've seen five quite soft things.
07:10Yeah.
07:11Other people have made stuff.
07:12So I have to punish you, because you didn't make it.
07:13I'm...
07:14Sorry, you didn't ask me whether I made it or not.
07:15Yeah, I know, but...
07:16You made a huge assumption that I made it.
07:19Picked it up on the way here.
07:22I've been knitting and bolting that thing together.
07:25For months.
07:27Right, well, does that change things?
07:28No!
07:31The thing I want, second least, is to have latex gloves rubbed over my face.
07:38Two points to fill.
07:39Next, I want to sit on a doughnut of cat hair.
07:43Three points.
07:44And then we're up to the big two.
07:45I want the raven most.
07:47Maisie, four points.
07:48Reece, five points.
07:49There we go.
07:50I want that raven.
07:53We're off to a trying start.
07:55Let's get going.
07:56What's the first task proper?
07:57You're going to love this one, Greg, because it involves your two favourite things.
08:01One, basic technology.
08:02Two.
08:03Two, me standing next to a table looking all mysterious and macho.
08:22Hello.
08:24Oh, no, sorry, the clock!
08:25What do I do?
08:28Hiya.
08:30What?
08:31What?
08:32What?
08:33Why are you timing it?
08:34What?
08:35Hello, hello.
08:39Hi.
08:40Hello.
08:42Oh, God.
08:44Speak!
08:46Hello.
08:47What?
08:48You all right?
08:49What's the task?
08:50Well, I can't see any kind of task written down here.
08:53Hmm.
08:54So I'm just going to hit you with this.
08:58Is a task anywhere?
08:59Do I have to find the task?
09:00No.
09:01Are we against the clock?
09:02Yes.
09:04What do you want me to do?
09:05Is there anything different about me, Reece?
09:06Well, you've got that on.
09:07Yeah.
09:08Yeah.
09:09Do you know what it is?
09:10Yes, it's one of those things where you pay at restaurants.
09:17I don't know what you call those things.
09:18Yes, it's a QR code.
09:19QR code, that's it, yeah.
09:21Do I have to have a phone to scan it?
09:23Mm-hm.
09:24Unless you can do them with your eyes.
09:25I can't do them with my eyes yet.
09:27Do I need my phone?
09:28Yes.
09:31Can I not use this to scan your QR code?
09:33Have you not got one of these?
09:34No, back in my room.
09:35Well, go and get it, then.
09:36Oh, Alex!
09:38I have a phone in another room.
09:39Ah.
09:40Should I get it?
09:41You might need it.
09:42OK.
09:44I've got to look for it in this room.
09:45Your telephone.
09:46My telephone?
09:47Your telephone.
09:48Why do you keep saying toilet telephone?
09:50My telephone.
09:51Do you have a telephone?
09:52No, not on me.
09:53Right.
09:54Do you want me to go and get one?
09:55Where is it?
09:56My telephone.
09:57Your telephone.
09:58My telephone.
09:59Yeah, your telephone.
10:01Well, what do you mean?
10:03I don't have one around me.
10:04I mean, I've got my mobile phone.
10:05Oh.
10:06Private to me.
10:07You want me to bring it into this room?
10:08Well, you need to scan that somehow.
10:09Well, other than I have to go and get it, don't I?
10:11I suppose so.
10:12Sorry to argue.
10:16Share your phone!
10:18What?
10:22Clever boy.
10:23Right.
10:24I mean, it's fascinating because there's such a range of ages amongst the five of you.
10:34But my initial impression is that was like watching footage of the distressed residents in a care house.
10:44The age range is extraordinary, this series.
10:45For the first time it's 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and up we go.
10:48It is.
10:51I think if the staff were looking after these pensioners, Rhys would be the one that they dread looking after.
10:58The most.
10:59The most.
11:00You can almost hear the staff going, will you go and deal with this?
11:04He's really on one today.
11:06But when do we get our medication?
11:08You know there's going to be dispatches about this and you will all be revealed, your cruelty will be revealed.
11:16I was left on the stairs last night.
11:18The first time, you'll be right.
11:20Yeah.
11:24Let's crack on.
11:25OK.
11:26It's QR versus AR, Anya and Rhys.
11:29Why don't you just sit?
11:34Oh, buff.
11:43Come here.
11:44No.
11:49Come here.
11:50I need to scan your test.
11:52I don't feel good about this.
12:07Right.
12:08I'm there.
12:09No, no.
12:10I've got my passcode.
12:11Keep still.
12:12I don't want to keep still.
12:13I need to go that way.
12:14You can't.
12:17I still have a dice game open on my phone.
12:22Keep still.
12:23I don't want to keep still.
12:24You've got to.
12:25I don't want to.
12:26Oh, he's back.
12:28Come here.
12:29I don't want to.
12:32Keep still.
12:33I don't want to.
12:34For God's sake.
12:35Oh, I nearly got it.
12:37Jonathan.
12:39Don't want to Ч Vai.
12:41No.
12:42Ah!
12:44Ah!
12:45é¡«
12:46a squared
12:50Honk the horn fast as twins.
12:51Your time started when you said your first word.
12:58I've stopped the clock!
13:01That was so fun, I feel so alive.
13:03Ah.
13:03Can we go again?
13:05I can't.
13:14Annie, you look like you are genuinely enjoying running around.
13:17You don't get to chase someone very often in your life.
13:20And you were really enjoying being chased.
13:22Of course I was. It's the build-up.
13:26It was actually quite slippy, so I couldn't go at top speed.
13:30And if I had my time again, I would go at top speed.
13:33I'm sorry you never got to go at top speed.
13:36Did you enjoy that, Rhys?
13:38Um, no.
13:39No?
13:40I found it frustrating because he wouldn't stop.
13:42And I guess that's the point.
13:44That's the point, right?
13:46Rhys, you're twice as old as Anya and twice as slow, it turns out.
13:49Anya, 2 minutes 29.
13:51Rhys, 5 minutes and 5 seconds.
13:54But she wasn't even at top speed.
13:56Imagine.
13:57OK, that's the first part through.
13:59But as my doctor said in a recent health screening,
14:02after a break, I'm going to need to get a glove
14:04and really get amongst it.
14:06APPLAUSE
14:07Hello!
14:15Welcome back to the second part of the show
14:17and the second part of the series.
14:20The current task is to get the horn, scound the horn,
14:22then honk the horn.
14:23Now, let's see how the final three got on.
14:25It's Maisie and Phil who both understand the concept of fastest wins.
14:29Plus, Sanjeev Bhaskar.
14:31LAUGHTER
14:32There you are, you little bugger.
14:33Come here, let me spank you.
14:34I've got a QR code.
14:35Oh, he's got a big one on the back.
14:36This is brilliant!
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38LAUGHTER
14:39You little brick.
14:40LAUGHTER
14:41LAUGHTER
14:42LAUGHTER
14:43LAUGHTER
14:44I've got a QR code.
14:45Oh, he's got a big one on the back.
14:46This is brilliant!
14:47LAUGHTER
14:48LAUGHTER
14:49LAUGHTER
14:50LAUGHTER
14:51LAUGHTER
14:55LAUGHTER
14:56LAUGHTER
14:57LAUGHTER
14:58LAUGHTER
14:59That's the end.
15:00Now!
15:01Now!
15:02LAUGHTER
15:03You little brick.
15:05LAUGHTER
15:06I know how to get it.
15:07He likes music, doesn't he?
15:08LAUGHTER
15:09LAUGHTER
15:10LAUGHTER
15:11LAUGHTER
15:12I know how to get it.
15:13He likes music, doesn't he?
15:14LAUGHTER
15:15I've got it on the wrong bloody setting now.
15:16Do you get it on the wrong setting?
15:17I'm phoning my mother.
15:18LAUGHTER
15:19LAUGHTER
15:20I'm still on the wrong bloody setting.
15:22LAUGHTER
15:23LAUGHTER
15:24I've got it on the wrong bloody setting now.
15:25I'm phoning my mother.
15:26LAUGHTER
15:27I'm still on the wrong bloody setting.
15:28LAUGHTER
15:29Come on!
15:30Don't be scared!
15:31LAUGHTER
15:32You like instruments, don't you?
15:33Come on!
15:34Come on!
15:37LAUGHTER
15:38Alex!
15:39Come on. Don't be scared.
15:43You like instruments, don't you?
15:46Come here.
15:50Alex!
15:53Fucking hell.
15:55I think he's on a loop.
15:57He needs to block his path.
16:04Ah.
16:05There's one or two things I can hit you with.
16:07Right. Where's your telephone?
16:09It's in my pocket.
16:10Right, how are you going to...?
16:12What?
16:16Ow, bastard!
16:17I've just...
16:19I'm deep.
16:21Now...
16:23Say hello to the ostrich.
16:24I don't want to.
16:30I think I've just beheaded a gargoyle.
16:32I'm really sorry.
16:34I've got him!
16:36Oh, shit, I'm on airplane mode!
16:37LAUGHTER
16:38I've got him!
16:40Oh, shit, I'm on airplane mode!
16:41LAUGHTER
16:46Do you have to use QR codes?
16:48It's just giving me a little yellow light on it,
16:50which is not the thing.
16:51No, it is a thing.
16:52Oh, is it?
16:53Yeah.
16:54Stay! Still!
16:55I don't want to.
16:56I'm really strong, Alex.
16:58I'm really strong, Alex.
17:02Stupid man.
17:05Honk the horn, fast as wings.
17:06Oh, you fast!
17:07I've honked a horn!
17:08Honk the horn?
17:09HE SIGHS
17:10HE SIGHS
17:12HE SIGHS
17:13HE SIGHS
17:15Yeah, I've sort of done that at the bloody beginning.
17:16Yeah, I've sort of done that.
17:18LAUGHTER
17:19APPLAUSE
17:25So, what I worked down for you, um, during that, is, um,
17:28good to see someone who knows he can't win this having fun.
17:33Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's so early on, isn't it?
17:36And yet, it's so obvious.
17:37LAUGHTER
17:38You were having the time of your life, weren't you?
17:40Come here, you little bugger, I'm going to spank you.
17:43I didn't hear that, but...
17:44OK.
17:45You...you said that.
17:46Oh, yeah, well...
17:47That wasn't me saying that to you, Phil.
17:51And it wasn't destructive.
17:52There wasn't £40 worth of damage.
17:56That gargoyle.
17:58Yes, that gargoyle.
17:59Well, right, OK, sorry.
18:04What I will say is...
18:06I'd forgotten I'd worn such big pants.
18:10There's nothing wrong with a big pant, my friend.
18:12Well, my leggings, they didn't come in my length,
18:14so they only reached round my bum.
18:18Are you saying your trousers were riding down?
18:20I didn't notice, did you notice?
18:21Yeah, I noticed, yeah.
18:22Of course I noticed.
18:23I still enjoyed watching you running around breathlessly with you.
18:27I was not breathless, thank you.
18:29Sorry.
18:30I was firing top speed, but with saggy pants, so...
18:33Sanjeev, erm...
18:35I was going at top speed.
18:39I wasn't holding back.
18:41Have you genuinely, in real life, had a phone for long?
18:44A phone?
18:46A phone, yeah.
18:47A telephone?
18:48A telephone.
18:51Yes, I think, you know, in that moment,
18:53I didn't know whether you wanted me to...
18:54I don't know.
18:55To know how to use your own phone?
18:56Yes.
18:58I have people who do that for me.
19:01Love it.
19:02The nurses.
19:09Shall I tell you some times?
19:10Tell me some times.
19:11I can't imagine any of them are good.
19:13Phil did find a horn and lure me out with another horn.
19:17Wow.
19:18At 1 minute 37.
19:19That was his first honk of another horn.
19:21We didn't say which horn he had to honk.
19:22So, Phil, 1.37.
19:24Suddenly he's overtaken, Anya,
19:25who's lagging at 2 minutes 29.
19:27So slow.
19:27Rhys, 5 minutes 5.
19:29Maisie, quicker, 4 minutes 22.
19:32More than twice as long as everyone else.
19:34Sanjeev, 10 minutes 16.
19:35Yes!
19:40However, there's also one extra video to watch.
19:43Oh.
19:44Oh.
19:45Hiya.
19:46What?
19:47What?
19:48What?
19:49Why are you timing it?
19:50What?
19:51PHONE RINGS
19:52And what's amazing is we literally didn't need to show any of that footage of your trousers falling down.
20:09It is one point, Sanjeev, two to Reith, three to Anya, four to Phil, and five to Maisie Adams.
20:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:17Shall we see our first scoreboard, James Trellamalat?
20:21Of course, at one end, consistency himself.
20:24Sanjeev's got two points, at the other, Maisie's got nine points.
20:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:28Right, what's next, the valetone?
20:32Ooh.
20:33Well, it's time to task with a target.
20:35We've found a big space, we've got some big balls, we're going to have some big fun.
20:39MUSIC PLAYS
20:57Do you know what I'm doing?
20:59Max Schreck as Nosferatu.
21:02I thought you looked like a penguin.
21:041921 classic.
21:06Looks like a penguin.
21:07LAUGHTER
21:10You're quite far away.
21:11So are you.
21:16Roll an object onto the target.
21:20You must release your object from behind this line.
21:23You may not move the line or target, and you may not affect your object after release.
21:30You must use the first type of object you touch, and can have three attempts with that type of object.
21:36And must not go within Greg's height of the target.
21:45What?
21:46Closest to the centre of the target wins.
21:49You have 15 minutes.
21:51Your time starts now.
21:53What, how do I know how tall Greg is?
21:56Lying down.
21:57Or standing up.
21:58Or...
21:59Ah!
22:00LAUGHTER
22:01APPLAUSE
22:02And is there, it's a game of curling.
22:08Ah, well, we invented it, but yeah.
22:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:11Right, well, let's crack on.
22:12OK, well, it's a tricky task, but there's 15 minutes, so plenty of time to plan, etc.
22:18Or I guess you could just get it done and go home.
22:19It's Maisie, and yes, it's Sanjeev.
22:24So, the first type of object you touch...
22:31We're quite heavy.
22:36I think that means you're touching it, Sanjeev.
22:38Well, no, I didn't touch that.
22:39I think you touched the tyre.
22:42Come on, then.
22:42Oh!
22:46Very ice.
22:54Aye, ice.
22:55We're going to go ice.
23:09Good for length?
23:10Er, yeah.
23:11The line was a bit off.
23:18That hit a camera.
23:19Yes!
23:20Brilliant.
23:25Ooh!
23:39Happy with that?
23:40Absolutely delighted, Alex.
23:46Slow, slow.
23:50That's in another time zone, that one, innit?
23:52Right, we've got one more.
23:53What have you learned from the first two?
23:55Absolutely nothing.
23:56Great.
23:56Couldn't have come.
23:57And now, then.
23:58That'll charm it.
23:59Shut the door.
24:01Great.
24:02That's near Windsor.
24:03Stop!
24:04Stop!
24:05Stop!
24:06Stop!
24:06Stop!
24:07Stop!
24:08Stop!
24:09Stop!
24:10Stop!
24:19Oh, yeah!
24:19Oh, you...
24:20Are you going to, like, doc, like, you know, take a picture, just because they're going to melt
24:24Is that going to melt in a minute?
24:26Yeah, we're filming a lot of this.
24:38I mean, basically, that final shot,
24:41there was no sign that you'd ever been part of this.
24:44It's like a metaphor for the futility of life.
24:47The thing is that I get the rules which, you know,
24:50the first thing you touch, but I was just moving it up a bit.
24:53I wasn't kind of, like, choosing it.
24:55Or, as some would say, touching it.
24:57Some may interpret it that way.
25:00Maisie, this is the most sense we've seen you make.
25:03I had a method, I was like, let's see what weighs more,
25:07cos weight is to do with distance and something.
25:10Yeah, of course, weight... It's science.
25:12Famously, weights to do with distance. Yeah.
25:15Right, we're at the halfway point now,
25:17and as my doctor said in a recent check-up,
25:19let's just stop for a little breather.
25:21I wasn't expecting it to be such a mess down there.
25:24LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
25:26MUSIC PLAYS
25:32Hello! Thank you, and welcome back.
25:36It's the start of part three,
25:38and our new competitors are trying to stop their objects
25:41as close as possible to the middle of the target.
25:44Three people left to go.
25:45Are they actually good at sport despite their appearances?
25:48It's Anya, Rhys and Phil!
25:50LAUGHTER
25:52I'm going to try to make it easy by going dead centre,
25:56big ball first.
25:57I'm going to use these little balls to make a thoroughfare.
26:01Ooh!
26:02First time I've felt like I've got a good idea.
26:08Right, you have to use that now.
26:10What?
26:11Can you touch that first?
26:12So that's going to be the object you throw.
26:14LAUGHTER
26:15You're going exercise ball.
26:20So I'm thinking if I set up a buffer zone behind it...
26:24Nice.
26:25It's really stinking.
26:31We didn't know they were there.
26:32OK.
26:35Far too much power.
26:41OK, good to know.
26:45Do me a favour and put your foot on there for me, please, Alex.
26:49It's time for a few more bins.
27:04Ha, ha, ha! This is exciting.
27:09OK, ready!
27:11OK, it's all about what I pick now.
27:13I'm going to do this one.
27:15Yes, you are.
27:19That's no good.
27:25That was...
27:29..dispointing.
27:30Let's go.
27:43A bit of shit, wasn't it?
27:44The principal worked.
27:49And there was me doing that
28:12Good luck, thank you
28:19Is it going to bounce back?
28:22It's not, is it?
28:23Do you know what happened? The sellotape stopped it
28:2625 seconds, this is your last go
28:29Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
28:40Oh my god
28:43Oh, it's on the target they would have thought it would be that simple
29:13What was that device you created what was it meant to do no initially I thought I could slow the ball down with the sellotape
29:21That way you see in America where they pull a spikes across and the cars get there
29:28It all fell down when I accidentally touched the wrong thing for it's quite calm and
29:34Softly spoken in the studio isn't it?
29:36But when he got across with his catapult you went more northern than you've been
29:43I
29:47Real latent rage
29:49Thought Phil's worked amazingly well
29:51And I think Anya's would have worked as well if she was capable of rolling a ball in the correct direction
29:58I mean incredibly she is worse than Sanjeev. No offense
30:03You I feel like you're ganging up on me
30:05Oh
30:09Well I can I can show you where all their objects
30:12Ended up in fifth place Anya's was the furthest away 22 badges for Sanjeev ten badges
30:17We're doing in badges
30:18Reese seven badges Phil two and a half badges but the winner with five points one and a half badges
30:22Maisie Adam
30:30Just like our infamous camping trip together this one involves being disgusting in a caravan
30:52I
30:54Hello hello
30:56Hi, oh hi race
30:58Hi Alex
31:00Welcome to the caravan
31:02Thank you for having me in the caravan
31:04Caravan the cowavan. Oh, yeah, it's caravan
31:06You've been having a lovely time
31:08You have hmm. Oh good you
31:10Uh
31:12Right
31:14I mean, you know, what do you compare it with?
31:16You compare it with kind of the worst times in your life and you go
31:18I'm having a great time. Yeah
31:20And then you compare it with some of the best times in your life and you go this is shit. Yeah
31:24So it's okay. Yeah
31:28Do you mind me saying you suit the caravan?
31:32I actually do know what you mean
31:34I was gonna be insulted but then I was like he's completely right
31:38Do something behind this curtain
31:42That sounds disgusting but is actually really nice
31:46Hiis
31:48D by N
31:50Wins where D is your disgusting the score out of 10
31:54And N is your niceness score out of 10
31:58So the swing-o-meter of what how horrible it sounds
32:02Compared to the reality of how nice it is
32:04There are more points involved in such a situation
32:06Is that great? That's very well put
32:08Thank you
32:10You have 15 minutes your time starts now
32:12Okay, so it's behind this
32:14Yeah
32:16If you don't mind
32:18All right little privacy
32:20I'll be waiting
32:22You're not coming with me to look at it? Do you want me to?
32:24No
32:30You really do suit that caravan?
32:34Well I don't
32:36This is the thing I don't know whether I should
32:38Do you like camping or not?
32:40No! You don't?
32:42No! Why are you getting so angry about this?
32:44Because the way Alex said it was quite like
32:46I'm going to try and get in your head
32:48No
32:50And live in there as a worm
32:51Yeah
32:52Just eating away at your brain
32:54Yeah, it really felt
32:55So in the end you can't even roll a ball in a straight line
33:00Ready to start?
33:01God, yes
33:02Yuck, urr and vomit
33:04It's Anya, Maisie and Phil
33:06Okay, I'm starting my attempt
33:18Are you having a nice time?
33:19Yep
33:20I'm going to reveal you
33:32It's really tasty
33:34I'm going to cover you up again
33:36Are you sure you don't want to suck a bit off?
33:38Okay
33:42I was just looking through in the kitchen there
33:44Yeah
33:45Looking for all sorts of various things that I might be able to use
33:48And erm
33:49Urgh!
33:50Urgh!
33:51Urgh!
33:52Urgh!
33:53Urgh!
33:54Please stop!
33:55Whatever, please!
33:56Urgh!
33:57Urgh!
33:58Urgh!
33:59Oh, right
34:00Yeah, okay
34:01Urgh!
34:02Urgh!
34:03Yeah
34:05I'm going to open the curtain
34:06Urgh!
34:07Urgh!
34:09Don't come in
34:10Save yourself
34:12Just making you a nice, er
34:13Fruit smoothie, Alex
34:18You're doing it quite violently
34:19Yeah
34:20I would like a little bit of a drink to see if it's nice
34:24Oh, I'm so sorry
34:26Well, thank you
34:27Oh!
34:30Nice
34:31Mmm
34:32Very nice
34:33There you go
34:34Okay
34:41Are you alright to keep doing it for a bit?
34:43Yeah, my calf muscles last
34:45Your calf muscles?
34:49I need to know what it is that you're doing, I'm going to have a look
34:51Here I come
35:01What are you doing?
35:02What does it look like I'm doing?
35:03I'm rubbing my feet in gravy
35:06In a mixture of chocolate sauce
35:08And crumbled up non-product specific biscuits
35:11I'm having a bloody great time
35:12Nice
35:13Bloody lovely
35:14Bloody lovely
35:24Right
35:25Right
35:26Caravan girl
35:28When the curtain went back, I mean, you were eating yoghurt with your fingers
35:32You were eating
35:33No, it wasn't yoghurt
35:34Oh, was it?
35:35It was whipped cream and sugar
35:36But it was really tasty and I ate it for quite a long time
35:39This is where it's tricky, you see, because if it was nice for you
35:42I'll have to take your word for it
35:44It wasn't nice watching you eat that with your fingers
35:46Alex told me that you would be really jealous of it
35:49Oh
35:50Oh, did he?
35:54Phil's is tricky, because what I'm learning about Phil is
35:56He's so upbeat about everything, he's sort of said anything as being nice, really
36:00I think he genuinely was having a wonderful time
36:02I was...
36:03Yeah, I mean, I would have been doing that if I wasn't on the show anyway
36:07But I...
36:09Was it warm gravy?
36:10Did it feel nice?
36:11No, that's where we fell a bit short
36:12It was... I could feel the granules between my toes
36:14Oh
36:15Your noise, matey
36:17Where it got sinister and I wrote it down
36:19Was when you shouted, please stop
36:23I think I'm now realising that the two things had to be the same
36:27I just pretended to be attacked and then made a cocktail
36:30And then made a cocktail
36:31Very much so about activities
36:33Yeah, yeah
36:34OK, let's stop once again
36:36As my doctor said to me at a recent check-up
36:39Just one final push left
36:41Relax
36:42Loosen up a bit
36:43Hey, stop squirming
36:44Nurse! Nurse!
36:45Help me!
36:46He keeps biting!
36:47Hello!
36:48Welcome back to the final part of the show where the cast are tricking us into thinking they're being disgusting
37:03The final attempts come from two neighbours over there
37:06It's Sanjeev from number 42 and Rhys from number 9
37:08You OK in there, Rhys?
37:12Yeah
37:13Hello, Sanjeev?
37:23potato
37:24Totips
37:29A
37:32Right, native
37:33Yep
37:34I'm going to have a look at you
37:35OK
37:35I want to check you're OK
37:36OK
37:37Pooh!
37:38AFDRAN
37:40Come and have a look. OK. Be prepared, it's not disgusting.
37:44BUZZER
37:47BUZZER
37:53BUZZER
37:56Do a little baby in there? Yes.
37:59Multi-coloured sausage mobile, with disco ball.
38:02Uh-huh. Kids love that. So you're babysitting?
38:04I am babysitting, yeah.
38:06BUZZER
38:07What I'm doing is sending the duck to a happy sleep,
38:12and he's dreaming the word, thank you.
38:15He liked it, did he? I think so, well, look at the thoughts.
38:18But if you want to close that now, so that I can get him actually to full sleep, deep sleep.
38:22Sorry to disturb you. That's all right. All right.
38:24BUZZER
38:25BUZZER
38:27BUZZER
38:29I'd like to see the baby. Do you want to...? OK.
38:32BUZZER
38:34BUZZER
38:36BUZZER
38:39Oh, yeah. Beautiful baby. Thank you.
38:41APPLAUSE
38:43BUZZER
38:47Ruth, I'm no expert in how one soothes the duck.
38:52BUZZER
38:53BUZZER
38:55I hit upon the idea that the duck would enjoy the sound of something that was similar to a duck quacking.
39:01But it... Oh! So that was what I was trying to do.
39:03I thought it sounded a bit like a duck whistle, which famously draw the ducks out to be shot.
39:06Yes. Yeah.
39:07BUZZER
39:08BUZZER
39:09Well, it was a bit of both, I think.
39:11Sounding bad and then it being revealed to be quite a charming thing.
39:14Now, do you think that the, sort of, nice element of Sanjeev's attempt was somewhat compromised by it being revealed that the baby was, in fact, a beheaded old woman?
39:24BUZZER
39:25BUZZER
39:26BUZZER
39:27BUZZER
39:28BUZZER
39:29BUZZER
39:30BUZZER
39:31BUZZER
39:32BUZZER
39:33BUZZER
39:34BUZZER
39:35BUZZER
39:36BUZZER
39:37BUZZER
39:38BUZZER
39:39BUZZER
39:40BUZZER
39:41BUZZER
39:42BUZZER
39:43BUZZER
39:44BUZZER
39:45BUZZER
39:46BUZZER
39:47BUZZER
39:48BUZZER
39:49BUZZER
39:50BUZZER
39:51BUZZER
39:52BUZZER
39:53BUZZER
39:54Tell me how disgusting you found them all and then how nice you found them all.
39:57Yeah, OK. So, Ania...
39:59What's her disgusting-ness score out of ten, Greg?
40:01Er, well, it sounded absolutely disgusting. Nine.
40:03Nine? Yeah. Terrific. And the niceness?
40:06Well, she says she's having a nice time, so I must take her word for it,
40:09but I didn't enjoy watching it, so seven.
40:11Cool. Nine times seven.
40:13LAUGHTER
40:16So, Ania at 63. Maisie.
40:19OK. The cocktail looked absolutely delicious.
40:22Oh, it was, yeah. It was lovely.
40:23Looked like you're having a lovely time.
40:25So, that...
40:26It's a delicious nine.
40:28Thank you. Yeah, but...
40:29No way does that cocktail involve those noises.
40:33A person being horribly attacked.
40:35Two. Two!
40:37Two times nine. Two.
40:38Right, so we've got high and low.
40:3963, 18.
40:40Phil. Get complicated. Phil.
40:42Let's go all the way up the line. This will do it.
40:43Wow. The noises were awful.
40:45Horrible. Disgusting. Nine.
40:46Nine. Another nine. And then, when it was revealed,
40:48he was having the time of his life.
40:50Yep. And he's northern, so why not
40:52pump your feet in gravy?
40:53LAUGHTER
40:54I'm not from the north, but I presume it's great.
40:56They squat and they, er...
40:58They squat? Yeah.
40:59LAUGHTER
41:00I'm venturing by you saying they squat.
41:02LAUGHTER
41:03I just think it's important to remember.
41:04What do people from the north do?
41:06They squat and they lick.
41:07You know that.
41:08LAUGHTER
41:10So it's nine times...
41:11LAUGHTER
41:12..eight.
41:13Eight.
41:14Which is...?
41:15LAUGHTER
41:16I do know my eight times table.
41:21LAUGHTER
41:22Nine times eight is 72.
41:23Yeah.
41:24Yeah, 72.
41:25But you're doing that little smug thing like,
41:26I don't know my times table.
41:27LAUGHTER
41:28I'll fuck you up, mate.
41:29LAUGHTER
41:30I'll fuck you up. How about that?
41:32Do you understand those maths?
41:33LAUGHTER
41:34Fucking great.
41:35LAUGHTER
41:36Who's next?
41:39It's three snakes.
41:41I could tell he was blowing a trumpet.
41:43It didn't sound that disgusting.
41:44Seven.
41:45Seven for...
41:46The reveal...
41:47I don't know ducks, but there was a bubble coming out of his head.
41:49Eight.
41:49Hey, we know eight times seven, don't we?
41:51We all know eight times seven.
41:52We all know eight times seven!
41:53LAUGHTER
41:58Don't we?
41:59Yeah.
41:59What is it?
42:00It's loads.
42:01LAUGHTER
42:03Phil, what's eight times seven?
42:05Well, I mean, but what is a number, you know?
42:07LAUGHTER
42:09Good?
42:10LAUGHTER
42:11OK, so we've got Sanjeev.
42:12Yeah.
42:13Well, it sounded absolutely disgusting.
42:15Great.
42:16Like a nine.
42:17Nine, disgusting.
42:18Niceness!
42:19Erm, I don't know why I'm charmed by it.
42:20Nine.
42:21Whoa!
42:2281 for Sanjeev!
42:23There we go.
42:24APPLAUSE
42:30Mate, you've got 18, your score, so that's one point.
42:33In fourth place, it's Reece, with 56 is your score, so that's two points.
42:38Anya, you're in third place, you scored 63, three points.
42:42Phil, 72, four points for Sanjeev, gets a full five points with 81.
42:46Well done, Sanjeev.
42:49All right, everybody, will you make your way to the stage for this series first?
42:53Final task of the show!
42:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:05Hello, young fellow, my lad.
43:07Hi, Greg.
43:08Who will be reading the task out?
43:10Er, Sanjeev will, please.
43:12Ah.
43:13End up on your spot.
43:15You must obey the taskmaster's instructions.
43:18Closest person to their spot at the end of the task wins.
43:22So, it's quite a simple task.
43:23They're all standing on spots.
43:25At the end of the task, you need to be as close to your spot as possible.
43:28I have the health and safety whistle.
43:30If there's danger, I'll blow it.
43:32Please stop.
43:34First instruction, please.
43:37Completely cover your eyes.
43:41Using one of these.
43:44Pop these on.
43:45Nice and tight, please, guys.
43:47Nice and tight.
43:51Are they complete...?
43:54I don't need to worry about one of Sanjeev's eyes fell off.
43:57Oh.
43:58OK.
43:59March on the spot until the end of the task.
44:02So, that means whatever happens, you must keep marching.
44:06Spin 360 degrees.
44:10Oh.
44:14Continue to march on the spot, but with higher knees.
44:26Just, er, just, er, just be careful.
44:28Just be careful.
44:29Just be careful.
44:31Take two big steps backwards.
44:40That's plenty, Sanjeev.
44:41That's plenty, Sanjeev.
44:43Lovely.
44:44Next instruction, please.
44:45Take two nice big steps...
44:48to the left.
44:50LAUGHTER
44:51LAUGHTER
44:52Oh, Macy!
44:53LAUGHTER
44:54You're fine, you're fine.
44:55LAUGHTER
44:56LAUGHTER
44:57You're fine, you're fine.
44:58LAUGHTER
44:59Take two nice big steps...
45:01forward.
45:02LAUGHTER
45:03forward.
45:04Forward, forward.
45:05That's fine, you're right on the edge.
45:06You're right on the edge.
45:07You're right on the edge.
45:08LAUGHTER
45:09Take two nice wide steps to the right.
45:10LAUGHTER
45:11Go back a bit, mate.
45:12Up back.
45:13That's it.
45:14Where's the edge?
45:15Nothing, don't worry.
45:16Don't worry.
45:17Keep marching.
45:18Jump quite high.
45:19Twice.
45:20LAUGHTER
45:21March on the spot, flamboyantly.
45:24LAUGHTER
45:25LAUGHTER
45:26Take two nice wide steps to the right.
45:28Take two nice wide steps to the right.
45:30LAUGHTER
45:31Go back a bit, mate.
45:32Up back.
45:33That's it.
45:34Where's the edge?
45:35Nothing, don't worry.
45:36Keep marching.
45:37Jump quite high.
45:38Twice.
45:39LAUGHTER
45:40March on the spot, flamboyantly.
45:43LAUGHTER
45:49Stop!
45:50Please freeze in those positions.
45:52APPLAUSE
45:54Was it all a dream?
45:57How could I end up facing that way?
45:59LAUGHTER
46:00We'll score those and we'll have it to your final scores.
46:03Come down here and join me!
46:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:06Wow, wow, wow.
46:07Genuinely dangerous.
46:08Yes.
46:09They should have been wearing protective clothing.
46:10They should.
46:11Or we should have put a mat down.
46:12Or we should have thought it through more.
46:13Still.
46:14Yeah.
46:15The thing was, they were meant to stay on their spot.
46:16They didn't really do that.
46:17Reece, you were the furthest.
46:18You get one point at the end of that.
46:19Phil, two points.
46:20Sanjeev, you came third, three points.
46:21Second place.
46:22Maisie, four points.
46:23And you were the closest at the end.
46:24You get the full five points.
46:25Well done.
46:26And so...
46:27And so it's a tighter first episode than some of us were expecting
46:29at the beginning.
46:30At the bottom, it's Sanjeev with 12 points,
46:31but our first winner with 19 points,
46:32it's Maisie Adam!
46:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:35Maisie Adam wins!
46:36Please go and celebrate with some soft things I would benefit from having,
46:37but I'm not getting!
46:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:39AND APPLAUSE
46:40And so...
46:41And so it's a tighter first episode than some of us were expecting
46:43at the beginning.
46:44At the bottom, it's Sanjeev with 12 points,
46:46but our first winner with 19 points,
46:48it's Maisie Adam!
46:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:51Maisie Adam wins!
46:53Please go and celebrate with some soft things I would benefit from having,
46:56but I'm not getting!
46:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:05оп overs늦
47:10Au revoir...
47:16AU REQUESTS
47:20WHERE ZEAKS
47:22RISEN
47:25ROOMS
47:26CREDIB преодоли
47:27Corinthians
47:29you
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