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Taskmaster - S20 E10 - The Final
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00:00Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:13Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:33Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:43Now, there are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions
00:46after 20 series, and to those people, I say this...
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:52I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:03Who dared to enter my realm of tasks?
01:05Three northerners, a Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:08I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ellis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32And Sanjeev Bhaskar!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:44That...
01:46HE HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
01:49Little Alex Hall!
01:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:55We know it so well, don't we?
01:56They do.
01:57Let's find out how well you know me, Greg, with a little quiz.
01:59Do you want a little quiz?
02:00Ooh, is this your chat section?
02:01Shut your eyes. All right.
02:02What colour is my hair, Greg?
02:04It's all pepper-pot ginger.
02:06Correct. What colour are my teeth, Greg?
02:08They're sort of an off-white,
02:10apart from one which is black and folded in on itself.
02:14Correct. And what colour are my eyes, Greg?
02:18Mmm...
02:19Blue?
02:20No.
02:23They're brown.
02:25You can have a look if you want.
02:26Oh, God!
02:31Oh!
02:32You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it?
02:34And that's the springboard for the grand final?
02:37It's the grand final!
02:41OK, what's the prize-task category that we've saved for the final?
02:45Well, the only one it could be, Greg,
02:47it has grand final written all over it,
02:49as each of them has brought in their very best tube.
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube
02:59and five actual tubes for the episode winner.
03:01Shut up, Alex.
03:02Here we go.
03:03All right, then.
03:05Phil.
03:07Hi.
03:08Before we go any further,
03:09I would like to say,
03:11you shouldn't grow your hair long.
03:13LAUGHTER
03:16Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row,
03:18but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat out of a bag.
03:21LAUGHTER
03:23What tube have you brought in?
03:24Is it a good tube?
03:25It's a good old tube of lube.
03:28Um...
03:29LAUGHTER
03:30I found it in the park.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:34I told you that's where we left it.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:38Yeah.
03:38APPLAUSE
03:39Yeah.
03:40This is why it's the best tube,
03:41because you know what kind of situation you're in with lube.
03:45If you're using it to get in something, it's a good day.
03:48If you're using it to get out of something, it's a bad day.
03:55OK, yeah.
03:57I think I've got everything I need to know.
03:58Yeah.
03:59Macy.
04:01I've brought my favourite tube of pasta.
04:03If you've just brought a tube of pasta in,
04:05then, against all odds, Phil's not getting one more.
04:08No, no, no.
04:10I've made a tube, but, like, I've made it into a tube.
04:13Let's have a look. As in the tube.
04:15With little pasta wheels.
04:16LAUGHTER
04:18Yeah.
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking.
04:22You'll go, amazing, it still looks just a bit like pasta,
04:25which is why I painted it to look like the tube.
04:29Here we go.
04:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:32It's good.
04:33It's good.
04:33I've got nothing sarcastic to say.
04:35I like the tube of the tube.
04:37Rhys.
04:38So, I brought in a test tube with the umbilical cord of a werewolf.
04:44Here it is.
04:45LAUGHTER
04:46You bought that?
04:48Yep.
04:49From somebody who told you it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:52Yep.
04:53Yeah.
04:54I knew it wasn't, but it was a display made lovingly
05:00by someone that crafts this sort of thing.
05:02I thought some bloke up north had licked a twig that put it in a test tube
05:06and hit me at you for 500 quid.
05:08LAUGHTER
05:09Yeah.
05:10I've still got my umbilical cord.
05:11Shut up.
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13It's still...
05:14It's still attached.
05:15I've still...
05:16Are you...
05:17LAUGHTER
05:19I quite often feed myself through it.
05:21You don't need to use a mouth.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Anya.
05:24Hello.
05:25I've brought in also a test tube, but I've brought in a test tube
05:28that's filled with DNA.
05:31It's DNA that I've harvested myself.
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me.
05:35Yes.
05:36This is Anya harvesting DNA.
05:37Ooh.
05:38You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg.
05:42Ha, ha, ha!
05:44Oh, no.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure on everything
05:49that's been going on, so I sent off your DNA, alongside some of my DNA,
05:54to the lab.
05:55Yeah.
05:56And we just got some very interesting results.
05:58Here are the DNA results.
05:59The child there, Anya Magliano.
06:01If we zoom in, we can see what they think.
06:03LAUGHTER
06:05That's hot.
06:06That is hot.
06:07Hello, Daddy.
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10Well, that's genuinely unsettling.
06:13Yeah.
06:14Congratulations.
06:16We'll talk about Christmas later.
06:18LAUGHTER
06:19Sanjeev.
06:20OK, well, this is my best tube.
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history,
06:26but also warnings, danger.
06:28It's extraordinary.
06:30It is a tube, like, and it's of my DNA.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Here we are.
06:36I know what it is, I guess, as soon as you start talking.
06:38For the third time in the series.
06:39Yep.
06:40Yes, it's a tube.
06:41There it is!
06:42LAUGHTER
06:43Once again.
06:44Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:47LAUGHTER
06:49It's fresher.
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52OK.
06:53OK.
06:54Tell me some points, Greg.
06:55I'm very fond of Phil, but the idea that he's last minute
06:58grabbed a tube balloon.
07:00Half a tube balloon.
07:01I can't give him more than one.
07:03I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf,
07:05but I like the story behind it.
07:07I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11So the novelty's worn off a little bit,
07:12but I'm going to give them three points,
07:13both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's urine.
07:17Wow.
07:18Now, I think this will, erm, reflect very badly on me.
07:21Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter.
07:24LAUGHTER
07:26Greg, you've done that for 27 years.
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30I don't know why.
07:31I am going to give...
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34I'm going to give my daughter four points.
07:36OK.
07:37And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta.
07:40Five.
07:41Well done, Maisie Adam.
07:42Five points.
07:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:47All right, let's get going.
07:48Let's get to the task.
07:49Well, what better way to begin than with the final team task
07:53of the series and a good old cup of tea or two.
07:55Or 14.
08:08Hi.
08:09Hello.
08:10Hi.
08:11Hey!
08:12Hi.
08:13Fancy meeting you here.
08:14Hello.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys.
08:17What do you want?
08:18Hi, Maisie.
08:19I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20and one of you right into the kitchen.
08:22Bothered?
08:24I'll go in here.
08:25I like a kitchen.
08:26You don't have to.
08:27That's the wrong answer in this day and age.
08:29Oh, yes.
08:30Yeah.
08:31Do you want to swap it?
08:32Do you want it just so you don't get an article about you?
08:33Yeah.
08:34Fair enough.
08:35Yeah, well, I don't know.
08:36Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:38I've spent my life on my own.
08:39I'm happy with that decision made.
08:42Let's go in here.
08:43OK.
08:44Right.
08:45Good luck.
08:46Good luck.
08:47You do.
08:48GUNS
08:50ох.
08:51Cups...
08:53tea?
08:54...tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:56Oh, no.
08:57I think I've got more responsibility in this.
08:59I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down.
09:02WHISTLES
09:04OK. Make exactly the same-looking drinks as your team-mate's drinks.
09:09Your team-mate must make exactly the same-looking drinks as your drinks.
09:12Your entire team may only open two doors.
09:16May only open two doors?
09:19What does that mean?
09:21Most similar-looking drinks wins.
09:23You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
09:27Wish I hadn't gone on my own.
09:30Terrible decision.
09:34I'm really afraid of letting me down.
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy.
09:42She's quite frightened of me.
09:45Cos you're fucking terrified!
09:47Let's get going.
09:49Let's start with a team of two.
09:50They've been a true power couple so far.
09:53Let's see how they got on in their final team task.
09:59Maisie? Hello.
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:03It's about making the same drink.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:08Yes, I have.
10:09Of different colours?
10:10No.
10:11Oh.
10:12Right, OK.
10:13So, you've got the drinks probably,
10:15and I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks.
10:18Yes.
10:18OK, so start with the first drink on the left.
10:21Like a cranberry juice.
10:23OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice.
10:27I'm opening it.
10:28Yeah.
10:29You've opened one door.
10:30Right, look for any of these things, Rhys.
10:32Yeah.
10:33Cranberry juice, tomato soup, anything that's like a bright green...
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge.
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy,
10:43so I think that's like a latte with milk.
10:45Well, where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know.
10:48Just skip that one.
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long,
10:52things will start going off.
10:53Oh, I've set him off now.
10:55You've got, like, teriyaki sauce.
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
11:00Yeah, that could be the last one.
11:01Bob that in number seven.
11:03OK, I'm doing it now.
11:03Keep the doors open.
11:04Yeah.
11:05Yeah, it's teriyaki, I've just smelt it.
11:07Oh, well, good.
11:08One done.
11:09So, I've got tomato ketchup.
11:11Yes, take that out.
11:12Oh, look, here we are.
11:13Can you hear me?
11:16Yes, yes, I can hear you.
11:18Hello, Rhys.
11:19Can't hear you.
11:20Maisie talking.
11:22Erm, what?
11:23Maisie talking.
11:23Oh, right, there you are, I've got you.
11:25Right, I reckon go to a cupboard.
11:27Oh, God.
11:28And we're looking for cranberry sauce to mount the soup.
11:32Right.
11:32But the problem is, though, Maisie, there's about three cupboards,
11:35and I don't know which one to pick.
11:36It's literally a guessing game.
11:37I'm just going to open one that looks like he's got things in it.
11:40I'm opening it now.
11:41This could be the end of the game.
11:43It's the end of the game.
11:46What's in there?
11:47I've opened the wrong one, Maisie, and there's nothing in it,
11:49apart from plates.
11:50So, now what we've got is some teriyaki sauce,
11:52tomato sauce, and some milk.
11:55Is there anything that looks like tomato sauce?
11:57And we'll start with that.
11:58Right, number two, go 50% tomato sauce,
12:03mix it with a load of water from the sink.
12:05And then I reckon, number one, put a tiny bit of ketchup in,
12:09and then the rest, water.
12:10Because it's sort of a clearish red.
12:12Oh!
12:13Number five is a cup of tea.
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea.
12:17What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:18Very accurate, some milk.
12:20It's going to look like tea.
12:21What's number three?
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in, but nothing else.
12:28Can you do that?
12:29Ah!
12:30Right, you've found the tea with you now.
12:32I can do that.
12:35There was tea all along.
12:39It's an excellent one.
12:40It's like a fluffy coffee.
12:41Maybe just spit in it.
12:43I think my spit's bubbly.
12:45You've got one minute left.
12:46OK, right, so number four, I'll neck the green,
12:49and then it's just both empty cups, isn't it?
12:53Do that, that's brilliant.
12:59That's your timer.
13:01Are you all right, Maisie?
13:02Yeah.
13:04I think it was cucumber.
13:06Hey, you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually.
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it.
13:12I think that's good.
13:12That's bagging.
13:14So which cupboard did you open?
13:15Oh, it was this one.
13:17Imagine at this point.
13:18But you can see through here.
13:19Well, this is what I thought.
13:20It was a trick.
13:22Thank you, team.
13:23I do feel a bit queasy.
13:24I bet you do.
13:25APPLAUSE
13:27You see, she's no doormat, really, is she?
13:35No, not at all.
13:36Although we did have yet another...
13:37Oh, I've set him off now.
13:40It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:43You are, though.
13:44It is funny.
13:45Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see, and you went,
13:49Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:53Like, it's her fault!
13:55It's frustration.
13:56It comes out in different ways.
13:57Yeah.
13:58I mean, they were pretty good, though.
14:00Yeah.
14:00As far as I could see.
14:01Well, considering they opened the fridge and had a cupboard for the plate.
14:06That's a hell of a start to this task.
14:07We're off for a break now, so that means you are too.
14:10We'll see you in a minute.
14:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:23Welcome back to Taskmaster.
14:25It's the final, and we're in the middle of a final team task.
14:28Whoa! You've got to be kidding me!
14:31Yes, the...
14:33The task is to make exactly the same-looking drinks in the kitchen
14:36as the drinks in the living room.
14:37The entire team may only open two doors.
14:41Most similar-looking drinks wins.
14:43Now, for the final time, it's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev.
14:46Phil?
14:47Bear with me.
14:50The first one has no flavour, but it's warm.
14:53About the same heat as you're in. Fresh.
14:57Wait a minute.
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door.
15:05Oh, that's...
15:06I was... Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now.
15:10Yeah, don't do anything.
15:13Oh, dear.
15:13Erm...
15:15I'm scared.
15:16I don't like leaving him unattended.
15:20Oh, wait a minute.
15:21Why don't you just bring them here, and I'll just pour mine into yours?
15:24Oh, well, if we pour exactly half?
15:27Yeah, we can do that.
15:28That's easy, then, isn't it?
15:29Ha-ha! Suckers!
15:31It looks like he's having some trouble.
15:41One door open.
15:42We're opening our second door.
15:44Yeah.
15:45You may open no more doors.
15:46How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:48Seven minutes.
15:48Seven minutes.
15:49Ooh!
15:51Well...
15:51What about that?
15:52Oh, yeah, that's good.
15:53Oh, good.
15:53Well, let's see how much is in each one with that.
15:57You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there.
15:58You want to be predominant.
16:00On the urine.
16:00See what I mean?
16:01It's the same warmth, isn't it?
16:02Oh, it is, actually.
16:03It's like when you give a medical sample.
16:05Yeah, yeah.
16:05I got a text the other day asking for a store sample.
16:08And, er...
16:09No, just stop there.
16:10It's just a good text.
16:11We'll leave it at that.
16:12That's really good.
16:13What we've done is amazing.
16:15There's a minute left, but you can leave at any point.
16:17OK.
16:19Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah.
16:20That's nice.
16:21Ten seconds left.
16:23Task is over.
16:23Excellent.
16:24Thank you, team.
16:26Thank you, everyone.
16:27Go team!
16:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:31Before the beat he started, I wrote down, not to be negative,
16:34but I predict Phil will be shit at this.
16:38And then, within seconds, I just said,
16:41I don't like leaving him on a door.
16:43I'm unattended.
16:44I don't.
16:46But he had a brilliant idea.
16:48Yeah.
16:49Just whip across, pour them in.
16:52Yeah.
16:53It was just a worker genius.
16:54Are you sure that was me?
16:56It was you.
16:56I think so.
16:57And we didn't see that coming as well.
16:58I didn't see that as a possible solution.
17:00Very frustrating.
17:01And by the end of the task, it was just a lovely family dynamic.
17:04Yeah.
17:04Dad did the washing up while the two kids talked about wee and poo.
17:08LAUGHTER
17:10I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12and Sanjeev is the father who raised me.
17:14LAUGHTER
17:15HE CHUCKLES
17:19Really good.
17:20Both teams were great, but obviously the team of three...
17:23Yeah.
17:23...knocked it out of the park.
17:25Although, I would say nearly all of them were fantastic.
17:28Oh, fair.
17:29Oh.
17:31What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice...
17:33Oh, don't do this.
17:35This.
17:36What?
17:37Erm...
17:39Straw, straw.
17:40There must be a straw here.
17:41LAUGHTER
17:49LAUGHTER
17:50Suddenly, this daddy's looking a bit more attractive, isn't he?
17:55LAUGHTER
17:57Oh, my God!
17:58Was it just me?
17:59Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened the door, Sanjeev.
18:01Oh, nice.
18:02Yeah.
18:03I told you to watch him.
18:04You know he doesn't know what's going on half the time.
18:05LAUGHTER
18:07So, what happens now?
18:08He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:12Team of three, yeah.
18:13Oh...
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:15Yes.
18:17It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate,
18:19but accidents happen, and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeev doesn't look that bothered.
18:26Couldn't give a shit!
18:30You've got an OBE, some of us need this.
18:33This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three and five for the team of two.
18:40I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Major. Well done, Rhys.
18:42Thank you, Rhys.
18:43Sorry, sorry.
18:45Can't we help the scoreboard, please?
18:47Yes, well, in terms of the series,
18:48there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:51Oh!
18:52And all five are still fairly close.
18:54It's exciting.
18:55Oh!
18:56In this episode, Maisie's in the league with ten!
18:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:03Right.
19:04Next, it's time to make this final suck in a good way.
19:09Hello.
19:24Maisie.
19:25Great to see you.
19:26Nice to see you.
19:27We get on well, don't we?
19:28For legal reasons.
19:29Yes.
19:30Ooh!
19:31Ooh!
19:32Why haven't I got an envelope with some wax on it?
19:36Run out.
19:37Right.
19:38Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:40You must not touch the cup and the cup must not move.
19:45Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:48Pythagoras, hands off.
19:49That's a clue.
19:50Now, if my geography serves me correctly, Pythagoras is a pretty cool island,
19:57very rich in iron ore.
20:00I think we're going to smash it.
20:01LAUGHTER
20:03APPLAUSE
20:07Well, I mean, I won't pretend that I got it, but it's a clue, right?
20:11The mug is a clue.
20:13Hmm, yes.
20:13The Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice,
20:18it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z.
20:22Here we go.
20:23LAUGHTER
20:25Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:30I need a straw, essentially.
20:32I can move.
20:34Is there a straw anywhere?
20:36Oh!
20:38Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:41That straw under there.
20:42I've not looked.
20:43Yeah.
20:45Yeah.
20:46I can't do it.
20:56LAUGHTER
20:57I can't do it.
21:02LAUGHTER
21:04Oh!
21:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:07Ah!
21:08I've got apple in me here.
21:10LAUGHTER
21:11Oh!
21:13Oh, it's really in there.
21:23It's gone.
21:24No, it's still there.
21:26I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:27Oh, you want me to lick it out of the glitter tray?
21:29This is degrading now.
21:37Hang on, I can touch that, though, can't I?
21:39Let's not touch the cup on the cusp of it.
21:41Ah, yeah, fine.
21:44Oh, there we go.
21:46It does feel like I'm drinking cat litter.
21:48Weird.
21:50Stop the clock.
21:55Bossed it.
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:10You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they seem fast.
22:13They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task, there's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:21If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down,
22:24and if you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:27But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:30LAUGHTER
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:33we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:36Oh, God.
22:37Right, so that's not a cup.
22:38That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:50What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:55That's nothing!
22:55That was a mislead!
22:57I don't think...
22:58I don't think I'm missing something.
23:00Can I leave the room?
23:01All the information's on the table.
23:03Fastest wins in town, sir.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:05OK.
23:06What are you going to get?
23:07Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue,
23:09and then soak it up and squirt it in my mouth,
23:10but maybe just a straw.
23:12Well, look, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:22I'm certainly smashed this.
23:24I panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to give a cow a child.
23:31I've never seen it before.
23:35Oh.
23:42Almost all.
23:43That's almost.
23:44What do you have to do with him?
23:46Have you finished?
23:47Almost.
23:48I've stuck the clock.
23:50Well done, Phil.
23:55It's like watching a deleted scene from Oliver sometimes.
23:58Just this urchin looking around the posh house,
24:00not understanding anything.
24:03I've had so many insights over the last few weeks into your childhood.
24:06You can't smell because you've got hit in the head by a football.
24:09Yeah.
24:10Can you not smell at all?
24:11No.
24:12OK.
24:12Although I smell five points a foot.
24:17Did he get it down him?
24:18The juice?
24:19Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:20The time so far.
24:20Anya, 1 minute 39.
24:22Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:23Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:27OK.
24:27That's halfway through this grand final.
24:31Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:33Be cool.
24:35Oh, hello, everyone.
24:49Welcome to the third part of our final,
24:53and a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:56Ooh, yeah.
24:57Big time, seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice
25:02drinking Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK, so, well, the theory of type Pythagoras,
25:09I think, is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:11If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will
25:17pour out, and I could start trying to drink it.
25:19OK.
25:27What?
25:27It's gone.
25:36Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:43Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:45I've stopped the clock.
25:46I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it and
25:48drinking something from the fountain, did I?
25:51I don't know.
25:54But I did.
25:55LAUGHTER
26:19There you go.
26:19Is that almost all?
26:21It's almost all.
26:21Do you know what just happened?
26:23It's Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:25It's about displacement and water pressure, yeah.
26:28How are we spelling Bernoulli?
26:30However you like. That's exactly how it sounds.
26:32Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:34Erm, can I have a wee now?
26:36No, I only want to. Excellent.
26:44Count, countless television appearances.
26:47What a career, and now this.
26:50Doctor Displacement.
26:53That was textbooks.
26:55Sanjeev was completely correct.
26:57It is the Bernoulli principle.
26:59I'd never heard of it. He had.
27:01You must be more excited about this victory than...
27:04No, I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard door yet.
27:10I'll tell you now, you're safe.
27:12Have I? Yeah.
27:13I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door for these guys.
27:16Rhys, again, knew about displacement.
27:19Yeah.
27:20And then, as soon as the stream started, complete breakdown.
27:24I just went straight mouth to stream and was sucking on it.
27:28I really enjoyed it, though.
27:29Yeah.
27:32The robot malfunctioned.
27:33Exactly.
27:34I was just glad that I did think to drink it from the bowl.
27:36Is that good?
27:37Yeah.
27:38Well, we know who's won.
27:39So, Phil, yes.
27:40One point.
27:41You were 15 minutes, almost.
27:42Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
27:43Rhys, you were 2 minutes 10.
27:45Just three seconds quicker than Maisie.
27:46Oh, Rhys.
27:47Yes.
27:48And here we know, 1 minute 39.
27:49Sanjeev...
27:5045 seconds.
27:56Doctor, displacement has struck.
27:58Aye!
27:59Aye!
28:02I can barely bring myself to ask, but please...
28:06May we have the last task?
28:08Sad, but it's also exciting because...
28:10And get ready.
28:11This one involves the word...
28:13Whence.
28:14Whence.
28:15Ooh.
28:29Ooh.
28:30You like that?
28:31Yeah.
28:32It's just floating there.
28:33Yes.
28:39What?
28:40Oh, this is good.
28:41Make water squirt out of you in a surprising way.
28:45In 15 minutes, Alex will guess whence the water will squirt.
28:51Whence.
28:52Whence.
28:53Whence.
28:54I think I know what whence means, but I'm not sure.
28:57For every incorrect guess, you may squirt him for one second
29:02at the end of the task.
29:04Longest time squirting, Alex wins.
29:07That shouldn't even be a sentence.
29:09Your time starts now.
29:14Magic.
29:20What's going on with you?
29:22Ever since you've got your new laptop, it's all...
29:25It's so fast.
29:26It's all weird, sexy stuff, isn't it?
29:28I've seen so much recently.
29:30All right, let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks.
29:34Yes, please.
29:36We're starting with Anya's pipes and Rhys' pieces.
29:47I can see pipes.
29:49I can see tubes.
29:50I'm going to make my first guess.
29:54And the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:58Wrong?
29:59That's one second of squirting.
30:02Did you enjoy chest tube?
30:04How are you doing?
30:17I'm all right.
30:18How are you doing?
30:19I'm good, yeah.
30:20I think the water is going to squirt out of the mouth tube.
30:24Okay.
30:25Rhys?
30:26Yeah?
30:27Are you going to squirt me from your nose?
30:32No.
30:34Out of the elbow pipe?
30:35No.
30:36Are you going to squirt me from your groin?
30:39Well, let's see, shall we?
30:44No?
30:45Nothing coming?
30:46Nothing?
30:47Actually it was a bit, but no.
30:49I'm going with right trouser leg tube, please.
30:52Negative.
30:53I can't help but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there.
30:56Yes.
30:57You know what?
30:58I'm going to follow the hose.
30:59Okay, yeah.
31:00I've got to follow the hose.
31:01Follow the hose.
31:02It goes in there.
31:03It goes up.
31:04It goes...
31:07I'm not sure you can dismantle me.
31:11Put that back in.
31:12That might be part of something.
31:14Right, so the hose is a red herring.
31:18Well, it could be.
31:19Well, it is.
31:20I've just pulled it out.
31:21This is good.
31:22I'll turn.
31:24I'll give you all the information.
31:28The time has started.
31:31I'm going round the back.
31:32There's still some more on the front that you haven't seen even.
31:35I am going round the back.
31:36Okay.
31:40Ah, yeah.
31:41Hello.
31:43Anya, is the water going to squirt out of the back of your head?
31:46Yes.
31:47Well, it's going to do that for eight seconds.
31:49Yeah.
31:50So, well done you.
31:52Is it going to come out of your foot?
31:57You've got it.
31:59Yeah.
32:00Thank you very much.
32:05Another terrifying character.
32:08Yes.
32:09To add.
32:10Well, it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing.
32:13Yeah.
32:14That was what you had to say.
32:15The vast majority of it, I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose.
32:19It was quite dominant, wasn't it?
32:20Yeah.
32:21How many seconds of squirting did he gain himself?
32:24It took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses, of course, with Anya.
32:28After I asked permission to go round the back.
32:30Yes.
32:32Making something that wasn't creepy.
32:34So creepy.
32:36Who's next?
32:37It's now time for the cheesy guys.
32:38Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edam.
32:41Oh.
32:42Hello.
32:43I see.
32:45Well, let's start with this guy.
32:47What's that one?
32:48The...
32:49Little yellow thigh one.
32:50Yellow thigh?
32:51Mm-hmm.
32:52Noooo.
32:53Hi!
32:54Hey, Phil.
32:55You alright?
32:56It's funny when you walk into a situation.
32:57I like it.
32:58You don't.
32:59Quite a lot of, er...
33:00ends of hoses.
33:01Well, you never know, do you?
33:03No!
33:04I think it's a bit funny, but I'm kind of just careful.
33:06I think that's something that you talk about.
33:07Follow me, Andy, sir.
33:09I know.
33:10I really look at this guy.
33:11What is your favourite?
33:12God knows?
33:13I don't know.
33:14I don't know.
33:15I don't know.
33:16I don't know.
33:17I don't know.
33:18I don't know, but you can't look out.
33:20OK.
33:21You never know with a hose.
33:24It looks like that's where it goes, the hose.
33:26The hose goes where my rosemary grows.
33:30Is that where your rosemary grows? Yeah, it tastes rank.
33:33Head tube. Beat the head tube.
33:37No dice, baby!
33:41Let's go for a fish. A fish?
33:43This fish. My sternum fish? Mm-hm.
33:46No! Penguin. On the head? Yes.
33:49No! Right shoulder.
33:51Wrong shoulder, baby! This one.
33:53That's another guess. I'm just going to check round the back.
33:57Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
34:00I'd like to put my hand in there. I'd like you to.
34:03Right wrist. No! Left wrist. No!
34:05Can I have Adele? It's a welcome mat. Crack on.
34:08I just want to see if it's going up or down.
34:10I don't know if you're allowed... That was my penis.
34:13Right elbow. No! Left elbow. No!
34:16Racking them seconds up, Alex.
34:1825, 39, 40, 41... Yeah.
34:21...and 28. 29. I mean, I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere.
34:2530, 31, 32, 33, 34.
34:27Quick trip round the back.
34:30BUZZER
34:32BUZZER
34:34BUZZER
34:35BUZZER
34:36Hi. BUZZER
34:37BUZZER
34:38BUZZER
34:39BUZZER
34:40BUZZER
34:41Maisie, are you going to squirt me out of your arse?
34:43Yeah.
34:44BUZZER
34:45BUZZER
34:46BUZZER
34:47OK, 21 seconds of squirting out of your arse.
34:4921 seconds.
34:50Yeah.
34:51I can see a crease in your left boot.
34:53BUZZER
34:53Oh, well, I hope we've got a winner!
34:56So... 45 seconds.
34:5845 seconds!
34:59I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water.
35:01There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie looked incredibly pleased
35:11with herself and smug, and it has always ended in disaster.
35:14But that time, well deserved.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Pleased with herself throughout.
35:19And then, delighted that she's going to squirt you from her arse.
35:25And as for the porcupine poet of squirting...
35:28..a similar tactic, to cover himself in stuff.
35:33Yeah.
35:34And some lovely messages for the kids there.
35:36Are you going to put your hand in there?
35:38I'd like to.
35:39I'd like you to.
35:40That's consent.
35:46Just one more small part left.
35:48Who will squirt Alex for the longest?
35:50Who will win the trophy?
35:52And who will take home the last?
35:53And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine samples.
35:57Stay tuned.
35:59Stay tuned.
36:10Hello!
36:12Here we are, then, the last part of our final
36:15and our 20th adventure together, my little friend.
36:19We got it together, didn't we, mate?
36:21We got it together.
36:22Finally.
36:24Here we go, then.
36:25Just one more person for me to guess from whence the water will come.
36:28And it is Sanjeev Bhaskar like you've never seen him before.
36:31Hi, Sanjeev.
36:32Hi, Sanjeev.
36:34Okay.
36:35Sanjeev, my first guess, are you going to squirt me
36:37from your mouth?
36:39Are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
36:40Are you going to squirt me out of your, um, eyes?
36:43Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
36:44Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
36:45Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
36:48From your tummy?
36:50Can I see your hands?
36:54Right, well, I'll...
36:55Okay.
36:55Sanjeev, my first guess, are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
37:01Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
37:07Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
37:11From your tummy?
37:12Can I see your hands?
37:13Right, well, I'm going to squirt me out of your bosoms,
37:17Right, well... OK, so you've got lots of water balloons strapped to your chest.
37:23Are you going to squirt me from your chest area?
37:26Your legs?
37:27From your behind?
37:29Armpits?
37:30Flanks?
37:32Flanks?
37:34Just a flanks.
37:36No.
37:38Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:43Right.
37:47Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet?
37:51Ears?
37:52Hands?
37:53Knees?
37:54Neck?
37:55Shins?
37:56Nape?
37:57From your hips?
37:58Top of the head?
37:59Lower back?
38:00Shoulders?
38:01Tummy button?
38:02Nostrils?
38:03Forehead?
38:04That is all of you.
38:05Are you going to squirt me?
38:06From your body?
38:10From here to here?
38:12From this side of you?
38:14Right.
38:17OK.
38:18Elbow?
38:19You're going to squirt me from your elbow?
38:22Whoo!
38:23OK.
38:24You're...
38:25Oh!
38:26Flanks?
38:27Flanks?
38:28I would add another 20 minutes onto that from your sheer desperation.
38:33APPLAUSE
38:34Another character that will endure, I'm sure, who was that man of mystery?
38:43Flanks.
38:44Flanks?
38:45You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:48I just think generally they're irritated by you this series.
38:51Yeah.
38:52I agree with that.
38:53You're the standard chance.
38:54Yeah, there were 29 guesses, so it's another nearly half a minute of squirting I'm going to have in a second.
38:59Points-wise, Anya, just the one point.
39:01It's two to Rhys with his 14 questions, three to Maisie, four to Sanjeev, but Phil with his 45 questions.
39:07Five points!
39:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:11Here they are, then, your classes.
39:13Series 20.
39:14Simply squirting.
39:17Water on, please!
39:36Squirt.
39:41This is the best son of Hudya.
39:53Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve.
40:08LAUGHTER
40:18Seems to be aiming for the face.
40:19I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my...
40:20No, you're not allowed.
40:22Three seconds left.
40:27I'm happy with that.
40:29Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:31Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:33Triumph.
40:34Did you piss yourself?
40:38I didn't, I pissed myself.
40:39I don't know.
40:40I'm 46.
40:43Finally!
40:44There's another one off the bucket list.
40:46Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:49And England!
40:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:53It's difficult today who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it, really?
40:58All my dreams came true.
41:00The targeted crotch squirt from Riex was good.
41:05But facially, the person who enjoyed it most was you.
41:11Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:13LAUGHTER
41:15She was so accurate.
41:16All so great.
41:17So satisfied.
41:18Mm.
41:19Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:23What?!
41:24Oh!
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage
41:29for the final task of the series!
41:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:36What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:40Who's going to read the task out?
41:41I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:44A correspondence!
41:46LAUGHTER
41:48Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:51When he says wibble, you say bibble.
41:54When he says bibble, you say bam.
41:58When he says bam, you say wibble, bibble, bam.
42:02If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:05Last player standing wins.
42:08So Greg will look at one of you and that's who he's talking to.
42:13You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:15If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:18If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:19You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:21Wibble, bam.
42:22I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:24Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:26Here we go.
42:27Wibble, bibble.
42:29Bibble.
42:30Bam.
42:32Bam.
42:33Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:35Wibble.
42:36Bam.
42:38Fuck!
42:40It's always bibble after wibble.
42:43Now the whistle.
42:45Wibble.
42:46Wibble.
42:47Bibble.
42:48Bam.
42:49Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:50Bam.
42:51Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:52Bibble.
42:53Bam.
42:54Wibble.
42:55Bibble.
42:56Bam.
42:57Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:58Bibble.
42:59Bam.
43:00Wibble.
43:01Bibble.
43:02Bam.
43:03Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:04Bibble.
43:05Bib...bam.
43:06Oh!
43:13What a terrible day for feminism.
43:17Silence!
43:18Benches on the benches.
43:22Are you ready?
43:23Yeah.
43:24Bam.
43:25Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:26Bibble.
43:27Bam.
43:28Bibble.
43:29Bam.
43:30Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:31Bibble.
43:32Wibble.
43:33I went wrong!
43:34We've lost Rhys.
43:35He said bibble, he said wibble.
43:36That's all right, surely?
43:37Oh, he's gone.
43:38I protest, you're magnificent!
43:42This is the final.
43:43Here we go.
43:44Bam.
43:45Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:46Bibble.
43:47Bam.
43:48Wibble.
43:49Bibble.
43:50Bibble.
43:51Bam.
43:52Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:53Bibble-bam.
43:54Bibble.
43:55Bam.
43:56Bam.
43:57Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:58Bibble.
43:59Bibble-bam.
44:00Bam.
44:01Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:02Bam.
44:03Bibble.
44:04Wibble.
44:05Wibble.
44:06Wibble.
44:11You soft-haired lovely.
44:14Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores.
44:16Come down and join me!
44:24Climax to the series.
44:26I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:28Well done.
44:29Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:31That's really hard.
44:34And so, we'll deal with the episode first, I imagine.
44:36Of course.
44:37It means that in joint second, with 16 points, it's Rhys and Sanjee!
44:43We're going up.
44:45With 17 points, it's Maisie Adam!
44:49And if you haven't wins the episode, please show up to the stage to be triumphant with your jewels!
44:59The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion is a historic event which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:16That's right.
45:17Quite often.
45:18But it remains of great significance.
45:21And so, now, I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:24Mm.
45:25Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place, but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:31one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar, with 149 points!
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:43Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shear-Smith!
45:48And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:52It's Phil Ellis!
45:57And Maisie Adam!
46:03And Anya Magliaro!
46:12It's never happened before.
46:14It is a series tie-break.
46:17A three-way.
46:18Yes, it's the most important tie-break in the world.
46:24We want you to think back, and tell us,
46:28how many letter T's are there in the portrait of me and Greg in the living room?
46:33Oh!
46:34Are you fucking joking?
46:35Come on!
46:37Closest wins.
46:38You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:40What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:43It's actually written down?
46:44There were letter T's on the picture the whole time you were there.
46:47They were hidden within the painting.
46:49And what, er, roughly how many is it?
46:52Write down a number, nice and clear, and then keep it to yourself.
47:00Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:02Ten.
47:03Maisie?
47:04Five.
47:05Anya?
47:06Sixteen.
47:07What's the picture?
47:08You can see a T here.
47:09Here.
47:10Here.
47:11Here.
47:12On my dungarees.
47:13Oh.
47:14Here.
47:15On the doorbell.
47:16And that is all the T's are a four T's.
47:18We have a winner!
47:19Oh, yeah!
47:20Oh, wow!
47:22The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Adam!
47:26In the night.
47:27Here.
47:28The new Taskmaster?
47:29Go!
47:30The new Taskmaster.
47:31The new Taskmaster.
47:32Here.
47:54The new Taskmaster.
Recommended
48:00
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