- il y a 23 heures
- #taskmaster
- #comedy
- #gameshow
- #fullepisode
Taskmaster is a critically acclaimed comedy game show where five new contestants, typically comedians, compete in a series of absurd and ingenious challenges set by the omnipotent Taskmaster, Greg Davies, and his loyal assistant, Alex Horne. In this premiere episode of Season 20, the new lineup of hopefuls embarks on their quest for the coveted Taskmaster trophy, facing their first set of bizarre and hilarious tasks. Witness their initial triumphs and spectacular failures as they try to impress the Taskmaster.
taskmaster greg-davies alex-horne comedy game-show challenges british-tv funny
#Taskmaster #Comedy #GameShow #FullEpisode
taskmaster greg-davies alex-horne comedy game-show challenges british-tv funny
#Taskmaster #Comedy #GameShow #FullEpisode
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TVTranscription
00:00Oh, non !
00:06Hello ?
00:13Hey !
00:19Il n'y a pas très fort dans cette maison.
00:30Hello !
00:34Thank you !
00:35Welcome to Taskmaster !
00:37A set of challenges presided over by a temperamental dictator.
00:40It's a sort of upbeat North Korea.
00:42And I'm Kim Yong-fun !
00:49Let's meet our citizens for the first time !
00:52They are...
00:53Anya Magliano !
00:56Maisie Adam !
00:58Phil Ennis !
01:00Rhys Sheer-Smith !
01:02And Sanjeev Bhaskar !
01:08And next to me, a man who I once thought I saw riding on the back of a baby elephant with a tiny trunk
01:14to discover he simply had no trousers on.
01:19It's...
01:21Little Alex Hall !
01:23APPLAUSE
01:24So the trunk would be...
01:25Yeah !
01:27Hello everyone, it's lovely to be here.
01:28It's lovely to see you, Greg.
01:29I actually think you're great.
01:30Thanks.
01:31Thanks, man.
01:32But I do think I can help.
01:33Oh !
01:34With a couple of enhancements.
01:36On the count of three, would you mind smiling ?
01:38One, two, three...
01:39Nooooooo...
01:43I can do a couple of these.
01:45LAUGHTER
01:46How about doing a nice big blink to camera.
01:48A blink ?
01:49A blink.
01:50One, two, three...
01:52LAUGHTER
01:53Snare.
01:54Snare drum.
01:55Open your mouth.
01:56One, two, three...
01:57BOOM
02:00Yeah ?
02:01Yep.
02:02Yep.
02:03By your standards, not bad.
02:04LAUGHTER
02:06OK, here we go.
02:07What's the first prize task of this series, little Alex Horne ?
02:10Well, my guy, today you asked them quite specifically to bring in a very soft thing which would be most beneficial for Greg Davis.
02:19OK, so the very soft thing Greg thinks he'd find most beneficial will get the full five points.
02:24Then the winner of the episode will take home all five very soft things, even though they're intended to benefit Greg.
02:29But Greg won't mind, as it's bound to be a great big bunch of crap.
02:33Thanks very much.
02:35Over and out.
02:36OK, Anya, welcome.
02:37Thank you.
02:38What soft thing did you bring me ?
02:40I brought you a bum cushion.
02:42OK.
02:47It doesn't look unlike my bum.
02:51So I made it extra soft because I added some cat hair on it.
02:55From my cats, Chicken and Rickon.
02:57Chicken and Rickon.
02:58Now, the problem for you and your bald cats is, I am profoundly allergic to cats.
03:03Oh, no !
03:05What I will say is this, at least you've made an effort.
03:09The people I get angry with are the people who haven't made an effort.
03:11Yeah, when we got them spayed, I said, can I keep the hair ?
03:15Because they had to shave some of them to put like an injection in.
03:18Oh, that's lovely.
03:19So this hair is just before they had their wounds removed.
03:23It's from the really special zones.
03:26Ah, great.
03:27Which you might not be allergic to that.
03:29Well, I've never...
03:33I've never put that to the test.
03:34But never say never.
03:38Maisie.
03:39Er...
03:40Ah, bup, bup, bup.
03:41I'm sorry.
03:42Small talk.
03:43How are you?
03:44Very well, thanks, Greg.
03:45Good. How are you?
03:46What have you brought in?
03:51I've brought in a manly bonnet for you.
03:54I'm concerned about banging your head on things, what with your...
03:57Extraordinary height.
03:58Extraordinary height.
03:59Yeah.
04:00Here is Maisie's bonnet.
04:01So you've got...
04:02I didn't want you to feel emasculated by wearing a bonnet,
04:06so I've stuck loads of manly things on it.
04:09Oh, that's nice.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Er, barbecue on the top.
04:12Lovely.
04:13A bit of weight.
04:14Toolbox.
04:15Couple bottles of beers for the lads.
04:17Yeah.
04:18My dad's quite tall and he always hits the top of his head.
04:21Yeah.
04:22And it scabs over.
04:23And what better to protect it than a miniature barbecue?
04:29I really like it.
04:30Wow.
04:31You're welcome.
04:32I've got nothing negative to say and I'm not allergic to any of those things.
04:34No.
04:35Phil?
04:36What is the softest thing in the universe?
04:39And we all know that is the hands and voices of the elderly.
04:44So...
04:45So I thought, if I just, like, pop these on,
04:48these elderly people's hands look...
04:50Yeah.
04:51They fit like a glove.
04:52I mean, that's perfect, innit?
04:53Yeah.
04:54So...
04:55So I thought...
04:56It's like, if you just enjoy the...
04:58If we play the cassette...
04:59Yeah.
05:00You ready?
05:01...of a softly-spoken elderly lady.
05:02Here is the elderly lady talking now.
05:04Hello, Greg.
05:05You're such a wonderful person.
05:08We're all so proud of you.
05:10Such a big, strong, beefy boy.
05:14Good, innit?
05:15Is that an old lady?
05:16It is an old lady, yes.
05:17Well, it's the oldest one I could find.
05:20I found it quite distressing.
05:24I think if you'd brought an old lady on, maybe it would have been more beneficial.
05:30I know.
05:31It's weird, though.
05:32No-one would come with me.
05:33Yeah.
05:34Rhys, what did you bring us?
05:36My first question is, are you allergic to feathers?
05:39I am.
05:40LAUGHTER
05:41Right, well, moving on.
05:43Let's imagine I'm not.
05:45I have created for you a fortune-telling raven.
05:50LAUGHTER
05:51What did I say?
05:52That's what I was hoping for.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Here is the fortune-telling raven.
05:57LAUGHTER
05:59There it is.
06:01Every morning, we'll give you a prediction for the events of that day.
06:05Raven!
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08Tell me my fortune.
06:10LAUGHTER
06:12No, Isla, pick one up for you.
06:14What's it?
06:16You will leave the iron on.
06:18LAUGHTER
06:20Greg, you've got to leave and get home.
06:22LAUGHTER
06:24Yeah, like I iron.
06:25LAUGHTER
06:28Christ, none of these are rubbish.
06:30You must be filling the heat, aren't you, Sanjay?
06:32Totally.
06:33Yeah.
06:34I've gone, um, incredibly practical.
06:36Here it is.
06:37Nice big blanket.
06:38LAUGHTER
06:39And there it is.
06:41LAUGHTER
06:42There he is.
06:43Made from...
06:44The contestant who grabbed something on his way to the show.
06:47LAUGHTER
06:49It's electric.
06:50Oh!
06:51So it warms up.
06:53Wait a moment.
06:54It's made from the finest cat, er, sheep hair.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:58Or wool, sheep, I believe some people call it.
07:01No, but I thought, you know, because you are tall,
07:03you feel the cold quicker than anyone else.
07:06LAUGHTER
07:07OK.
07:08You've seen five quite soft things.
07:10Yeah.
07:11Other people have made stuff, so I have to punish you,
07:13cos you didn't make it.
07:14Sorry, you didn't ask me whether I made it or not.
07:16Yeah, I know, but...
07:17You made a huge assumption that I made it up on the way here.
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20LAUGHTER
07:21LAUGHTER
07:22I've been knitting and bolting that thing together...
07:24LAUGHTER
07:25..for months.
07:26LAUGHTER
07:27Right, well, does that change things?
07:28No!
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30The thing I want, second least, is to have latex gloves rubbed over my...
07:36..er, face.
07:37LAUGHTER
07:38Two points to fill.
07:39Er, next, I want to sit on a doughnut of cat hair.
07:42LAUGHTER
07:43Three points, and then we're up to the big two.
07:45I want the raven most.
07:47Er, Maisie, four points.
07:48Reece, five points.
07:49There we go.
07:50APPLAUSE
07:51I want that raven.
07:52APPLAUSE
07:53I want that raven.
07:54We're off to a trying start.
07:55Let's get going.
07:56What's the first task proper?
07:57You're going to love this one, Greg,
07:59because it involves your two favourite things.
08:01One, basic technology.
08:02Two.
08:03Two, me standing next to a table looking all mysterious and macho.
08:07LAUGHTER
08:08Hello.
08:22Oh, no, he's sorry the clock!
08:25What do I do?
08:27I, er...
08:29What?
08:30What?
08:31What?
08:32Why are you timing it?
08:33What?
08:34Hello, hello.
08:35PHONE RINGS
08:38Hi.
08:39PHONE RINGS
08:40Hello.
08:41PHONE RINGS
08:42Oh, God.
08:44Speak!
08:45Er...
08:46Hello.
08:47What?
08:48You all right?
08:49What's the task?
08:50Well, I can't see any kind of task written down here.
08:53Mmm.
08:54So I'm just going to hit you with this.
08:56LAUGHTER
08:58Is, er, a task anywhere?
09:00Do I have to find the task?
09:01No.
09:02Are we against the clock?
09:03Yes.
09:04What do you want me to do?
09:05Is there anything different about me, Rhys?
09:07Well, you've got that on.
09:08Yeah.
09:09Do you know what it is?
09:10Yes, it's one of those things where you pay at restaurants.
09:13LAUGHTER
09:15Er, I don't know what you call those things.
09:18Yes, it's a QR code.
09:19QR code, that's it, yeah.
09:21Do I have to have a phone to scan it?
09:23Mm-hmm.
09:24Unless you can do them with your eyes.
09:25I can't do them with my eyes yet.
09:27Do I need my phone?
09:28Yes.
09:29Can I not use this to scan your QR code?
09:32Have you not got one of these?
09:33No.
09:34Back in my room?
09:35Well, go and get it then.
09:36Oh, Alex!
09:37LAUGHTER
09:38I have a phone in another room.
09:39Ah.
09:40Should I get it?
09:41You might need it.
09:42OK.
09:43Look for it in this room.
09:45Your telephone?
09:46My telephone.
09:47Your telephone.
09:48Why do you keep saying toilet telephone?
09:50My telephone.
09:51Do you have a telephone?
09:52No!
09:53Not on me.
09:54Right.
09:55What do you mean?
09:56I don't have one around me.
09:57I mean, I've got my mobile phone.
09:58Oh.
09:59Private to me.
10:00You want me to bring it into this room?
10:01Well, you need to scan that somehow.
10:02Well, then I have to go and get it, don't I?
10:03I suppose so.
10:04Sorry to argue.
10:05Share your phone.
10:06What?
10:07Oliver Sands &
10:21Clever boy.
10:23Right.
10:24APPLAUSE
10:26It's fascinating, because there's such a range of ages amongst five of you, but my initial
10:35J'ai l'impression que c'était comme la vue de la photo de la chambre des restrières dans un caretage.
10:44La age range est extraordinaire, c'est l'histoire du 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s et là-bas.
10:48Et là-bas, c'est...
10:51Je pense que si les staffs étaient en train de regarder ces pensioners,
10:55Ries serait le premier qu'ils dread de regarder.
11:00Vous pouvez presque entendre les staffs de « je vais y aller et dire de ça ».
11:04Il est vraiment en 1 aujourd'hui.
11:06Mais quand on a get our medication?
11:10Vous savez, il y aura des réponses sur ce et vous allez être éveillé.
11:13Vous allez être éveillé.
11:14Vous allez être éveillé.
11:15Je suis éveillé.
11:16Je suis éveillé sur les stairs la nuit.
11:24Let's crack on.
11:25OK.
11:26C'est QR versus AR.
11:28Anya et Reece.
11:29Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
11:31Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
11:33Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
11:35Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
11:37Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
11:43Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
11:44C'est parti.
11:45No.
11:50Come here, I need to scan your test.
11:58I don't feel good about this.
12:07Ah, right, I'm there.
12:09No, no.
12:10Oh, I've got my passcode.
12:11Keep still.
12:12Keep still.
12:13Keep still.
12:14I need to go that way.
12:15Pants.
12:16Ow!
12:17I still have a dice game open on my phone.
12:23Keep still.
12:24I don't want to keep still.
12:25You've got to.
12:26I don't want to.
12:27Oh, he's back.
12:28Come here.
12:29I don't want to.
12:32Keep still.
12:33I don't want to.
12:34Oh, for God's sake.
12:36Oh, I nearly got it.
12:42Oh, ho!
12:48Honk the horn fast as opposed as your time starts when you said your first word.
12:59Oh, stop the clock!
13:00I've stopped the clock!
13:01That was so fun, I feel so alive.
13:03Can we go again?
13:06I can't.
13:07Ah.
13:08APPLAUSE
13:14Annie, you look like you are genuinely enjoying running around.
13:18You don't get to chase someone very often in your life.
13:20And you were really enjoying being chased.
13:22Course I was, yeah.
13:24It's the build-up.
13:25It was actually quite slippy, so I couldn't go at top speed.
13:30Erm, and if I had my time again, I would go at top speed.
13:34I'm sorry you never got to go at top speed.
13:36LAUGHTER
13:37Did you enjoy that, Rhys?
13:39Erm, no.
13:40No?
13:41I found it frustrating, because he wouldn't stop.
13:43And I guess that's the point.
13:45That's the point, right?
13:47Rhys, you're twice as old as Annie, and twice as slow, it turns out.
13:50Annie, 2 minutes 29, Rhys, 5 minutes and 5 seconds.
13:54But she wasn't even at top speed.
13:57Imagine.
13:58LAUGHTER
13:59OK, that's the first part through.
14:00But as my doctor said in a recent health screening,
14:03after a break, I'm going to need to get a glove
14:06and really get amongst it.
14:07LAUGHTER
14:08APPLAUSE
14:10APPLAUSE
14:12APPLAUSE
14:15Hello!
14:16Welcome back to the second part of the show
14:18and the second part of the series.
14:21The current task is to get the horn, scound the horn,
14:23then honk the horn.
14:24Now, let's see how the final three got on.
14:27It's Maisie and Phil, who both understand the concept of fastest wins.
14:30Plus, Sanjeev Bhaskar.
14:32LAUGHTER
14:34There you are, you little bugger.
14:43Come here, let me smack you.
14:44I've got a QR code.
14:46Oh, he's got a big one on the back.
14:47This is brilliant.
14:49LAUGHTER
14:51LAUGHTER
14:53LAUGHTER
14:56LAUGHTER
14:59I know how to get it, me likes music, doesn't he?
15:17LAUGHTER
15:20LAUGHTER
15:22LAUGHTER
15:24I've been in the wrong bloody setting now.
15:28You've been in the wrong setting?
15:29I'm phoning my mother.
15:30LAUGHTER
15:32LAUGHTER
15:34I'm still on the wrong bloody setting.
15:36LAUGHTER
15:38LAUGHTER
15:40Come on!
15:42Don't be scared!
15:44You like instruments, don't you?
15:46LAUGHTER
15:47Come on.
15:48LAUGHTER
15:50Alex!
15:51I think he's on a loop.
15:56He needs to block his path.
15:58HE SIGHS
16:01HE SIGHS
16:03Ah.
16:04There's one or two things I can hit you with.
16:07Right.
16:08Where's your telephone?
16:09It's in my pocket.
16:10Right, how are we going to...?
16:11LAUGHTER
16:12What?
16:13LAUGHTER
16:15Oh, bastard!
16:16LAUGHTER
16:17LAUGHTER
16:18Just...
16:19Thank you.
16:20Say hello to the ostrich.
16:23I don't want to.
16:28LAUGHTER
16:29I think I've just beheaded a gargoyle.
16:31I'm really sorry.
16:32LAUGHTER
16:33LAUGHTER
16:34I've got him!
16:37LAUGHTER
16:38I've got him!
16:39Ah, shit, I'm on air-plane mode!
16:41LAUGHTER
16:42LAUGHTER
16:43LAUGHTER
16:45Do you have to use QR codes?
16:47It's just giving me a little yellow light on it, which is not the thing.
16:50No, it is a thing.
16:51LAUGHTER
16:52Oh, is it?
16:53Yeah.
16:54I don't want to.
16:55Stay!
16:56I don't want to.
16:57Stay!
16:58I'm really strong, Alex.
17:00LAUGHTER
17:01Honk the horn.
17:02Honk the horn.
17:03Fast as wind.
17:04Oh, you fast!
17:05I've honked the horn!
17:06Honked the horn!
17:07Honked the horn!
17:08Honked the horn!
17:09LAUGHTER
17:14Yeah, I've sort of done that at the bloody beginning.
17:16Yeah, I've sort of done that.
17:17LAUGHTER
17:18APPLAUSE
17:20So, what I wrote down to you during that is, um, good to see someone who knows he can't win this having fun.
17:31LAUGHTER
17:32Yeah, yeah.
17:33I mean, it's so early on, isn't it?
17:35And yet, it's so obvious.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:37You were having the time of your life, weren't you?
17:39Come here, you little bugger, I'm going to spank you.
17:41LAUGHTER
17:42I didn't hear that, but...
17:43OK.
17:44You...you said that.
17:45Oh, yeah, well...
17:46That wasn't me saying that to you, Will.
17:48LAUGHTER
17:50And it wasn't destructive.
17:52There wasn't £40 worth of damage.
17:54LAUGHTER
17:5540 pounds?
17:56That gargoyle!
17:57Yes, that gargoyle, yeah.
17:59Well, right.
18:00OK.
18:01Sorry.
18:02Thank you.
18:03What I will say is...
18:05I'd forgotten I'd worn such big pants.
18:08LAUGHTER
18:09There's nothing wrong with a big pant, my friend.
18:11Well, my leggings, they didn't come in my length,
18:14so they only reached round my bum.
18:17Are you saying your trousers were riding down?
18:19I didn't notice.
18:20Did you notice?
18:21Yeah, I noticed, yeah.
18:22Of course I did.
18:23LAUGHTER
18:24I mean, I still enjoyed watching you running around
18:26breathlessly with your trousers.
18:27I was not breathless, thank you.
18:28Sorry.
18:29I was firing top speed, but with saggy pants, so...
18:33Sanjeev, erm...
18:34I was going at top speed.
18:36LAUGHTER
18:38I wasn't holding back.
18:40I wasn't holding back.
18:41APPLAUSE
18:42Have you genuinely, in real life, had a phone for long?
18:44LAUGHTER
18:45A phone?
18:46A phone, yeah.
18:47A telephone.
18:48Yes, a telephone.
18:49LAUGHTER
18:50Yes, I think, you know, in that moment,
18:52I didn't know whether you wanted me to...
18:54I don't know.
18:55To know how to use your own phone?
18:56Yes.
18:57LAUGHTER
18:58I have people who do that for me.
19:00LAUGHTER
19:01The nurses.
19:02LAUGHTER
19:08Shall I tell you some times?
19:09Tell me some times.
19:10I can't imagine any of them are good.
19:12Phil did find a horn and lure me out with another horn.
19:16Wow.
19:17At 1 minute 37.
19:18That was his first honk of another horn.
19:20We didn't say which horn you had to honk.
19:21So, Phil, 1.37, suddenly he's overtaken, Anja,
19:24who's lagging at 2 minutes 29, so slow.
19:27Rhys, 5 minutes 5.
19:29Maisie, quicker, 4 minutes 22.
19:31More than twice as long as everyone else.
19:33Sanjeev, 10 minutes 16.
19:35LAUGHTER
19:40However, there's also one extra video to watch.
19:43Ooh.
19:45Hiya.
19:46What?
19:47What?
19:48What?
19:49Why are you timing it?
19:50What?
19:51And what's amazing is we literally didn't need to show
20:07any of that footage of your trousers falling down.
20:10LAUGHTER
20:11It is one point, Sanjeev, two to Reith, three to Anja,
20:13four to Phil and five to Maisie Adams.
20:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:19Shall we see our first scoreboard?
20:21Of course.
20:22At one end, consistency himself.
20:24Sanjeev's got two points.
20:25At the other, Maisie's got nine points.
20:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:30Right.
20:31What's next at Valetone?
20:32Ooh.
20:33Well, it's time to task with a target.
20:35We've found a big space.
20:36We've got some big balls.
20:37We're going to have some big fun.
20:39Do you know what I'm doing?
20:58Max Schreck as Nosferatu.
21:01I thought you looked like a penguin.
21:031921 classic.
21:05Looks like a penguin.
21:07LAUGHTER
21:10You're quite far away.
21:11So are you.
21:16Roll an object onto the target.
21:19You must release your object from behind this line.
21:23You may not move the line or target.
21:26And you may not affect your object after release.
21:29You must use the first type of object you touch
21:32and can have three attempts with that type of object.
21:35and must not go within Greg's height of the target.
21:44What?
21:45Closest to the centre of the target wins.
21:48You have 15 minutes.
21:50Your time starts now.
21:52What?
21:53How do I know how tall Greg is?
21:55Lying down.
21:56Or standing up.
21:57Or...
21:58Ah.
21:59APPLAUSE
22:01And it's a game of purling.
22:02Ah, well, we invented it, but yeah.
22:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:04Right, well, let's crack on.
22:05OK, well, it's a tricky task, but there's 15 minutes,
22:06so plenty of time to plan, etc.
22:07Or I guess you could just get it done and go home.
22:08It's Maisie, and yes, it's Sanji.
22:10LAUGHTER
22:11So, the first type of object you touch...
22:14We're quite heavy.
22:16I think that means you're touching it, Sanji.
22:17Well, no, I didn't touch that.
22:18I think you touched the tyre.
22:19Come on, then.
22:20Oh!
22:21Oh!
22:22Oh!
22:23Oh!
22:24Oh!
22:25Oh!
22:26Oh!
22:27Oh!
22:28Oh!
22:29Oh!
22:30Oh!
22:31I think that means you're touching it, Sanji.
22:32I think...
22:33Well, no, I didn't touch that.
22:34I think you touched the tyre.
22:35Come on, then.
22:36Oh!
22:37Oh!
22:38Oh!
22:39Oh!
22:40Oh!
22:41Oh!
22:42Oh!
22:44Oh!
22:45Oh!
22:46Oh!
22:47Oh!
22:48Oh!
22:49Oh!
22:50Oh!
22:51Oh!
22:52Oh!
22:53Oh!
22:54Oh!
22:55Oh!
22:56Oh!
22:57Oh!
22:58Oh!
22:59Oh!
23:00Oh!
23:01Good for length?
23:02Uh...
23:03Yeah.
23:04The line was a bit off.
23:05Oh!
23:06That hit a camera.
23:07Yes!
23:08Brilliant.
23:09Oh!
23:10Oh!
23:11Oh!
23:12Oh!
23:13Oh!
23:14Oh!
23:15Oh!
23:16Oh!
23:17Oh!
23:18Oh!
23:30Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
24:00...and now then.
24:04Oh, charming.
24:06Get out of the door!
24:08Great, that's near Windsor.
24:14Stop!
24:16Stop! Stop! Stop!
24:21Are you going to, like, you know, take a picture,
24:23just because they're going to melt in a minute?
24:26Yeah, we're filming a lot of this.
24:30I mean, basically, that final shot,
24:40there was no sign that you'd ever been part of this.
24:43It's like a metaphor for the futility of life.
24:46The thing is that I get the rules which, you know,
24:49the first thing you touch, but I was just moving it up a bit.
24:52I wasn't kind of, like, choosing it. Or, as some would say, touching.
24:57Some may interpret it that way.
24:59Maisie, this is the most sentence we've seen you make.
25:02I had a method. I was like, let's see what weighs more,
25:06cos weight... Yeah.
25:08..weight is to do with distance and something.
25:10Yeah, of course, weight... It's science.
25:12Famously, weight's to do with distance. Yeah.
25:14Right, we're at the halfway point now,
25:16and as my doctor said in a recent check-up,
25:19let's just stop for a little breather.
25:21I wasn't expecting it to be such a mess down there.
25:23LAUGHTER
25:24APPLAUSE
25:25Hello! Thank you, and welcome back.
25:35It's the start of part three,
25:37and our new competitors are trying to stop their object
25:40as close as possible to the middle of the target.
25:43Three people left to go.
25:44Are they actually good at sport despite their appearances?
25:47It's Anya, Rhys and Phil.
25:51I'm going to try to make it easy by going...
25:54dead centre, big ball first.
25:56I'm going to use these little balls to make a thoroughfare.
26:00Ooh!
26:06First time I've felt like I've got a good idea.
26:08Right, you have to use that now.
26:10What? You touch that first,
26:12and that's going to be the object you throw.
26:18You're going exercise ball.
26:21I'm thinking if I set up a buffer zone behind it.
26:25Nice.
26:29It's really stinky.
26:30We didn't know they were there.
26:31OK.
26:35Far too much power.
26:41OK, good to know.
26:42Do me a favour and put your foot on there for me, please, Alex.
26:47Thank you.
26:53It's time for a few more bins.
26:55Ha, ha, ha, this is exciting.
27:09OK, ready.
27:11OK, it's all about what I pick now.
27:13I'm going to do this one.
27:14I'm going to do this one.
27:15Yes, you are.
27:21It's no good.
27:24That was, er...
27:28...dispointing.
27:30Let's go.
27:31It's a bit of shit, wasn't it?
27:32The principal worked.
27:49And there was me doing that.
27:56Oh, for fuck.
27:57You're not actually joking, though.
27:58LAUGHTER
28:12Good luck.
28:13Thank you.
28:21Is it going to bounce back or...?
28:22It's not, is it?
28:23Do you know what happened?
28:24The sellotape stops it.
28:2725 seconds.
28:28This is your last go.
28:29Yes!
28:31Yes!
28:52Yes!
28:53Yes!
28:54Yes!
28:55Oh, my God.
28:56Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
29:26Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
29:56Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
30:26Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
30:28Let's have another task, please. Right you are.
30:31And just like our infamous camping trip together,
30:33this one involves being disgusting in a caravan.
30:36Hello? Hello. Hi. Oh, hi, Rhys. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the caravan. Thank you for having me in the caravan.
30:42Hello? Hello. Hi. Oh, hi, Rhys.
30:59Hi, Alex. Welcome to the caravan. Thank you for having me in the caravan.
31:05Caravan. The cow-er-van? Oh, yeah, it's caravan.
31:08You've been having a lovely time. You have? Hmm? Oh, good. You?
31:11Er, it's all right. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you know, what do you compare it with? You compare it with kind of the worst times in your life and you go, I'm having a great time. Yeah.
31:20And then you compare it with some of the best times in your life and you go, this is shit. Yeah.
31:24So, yeah, it's OK. Yeah.
31:28Do you mind me saying you suit the caravan?
31:33I actually do know what you mean. I was going to be insulted, but then I was like, he's completely right.
31:37Do something behind this curtain that sounds disgusting, but is actually really nice.
31:48Hi, yes. D by N wins, where D is your disgustingness score out of 10 and N is your niceness score out of 10.
31:59So, the swing-o-meter of how horrible it sounds compared to the reality of how nice it is, there are more points involved in such a situation. Is that great?
32:08That's very well put. Thank you.
32:11You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now. OK, so it's behind this.
32:15Yeah. If you don't mind.
32:19All right, little privacy. I'll be waiting.
32:23You're not coming with me to look at it? Do you want me to?
32:25No.
32:25LAUGHTER
32:27You really do suit that caravan?
32:34LAUGHTER
32:35Well, I don't... This is the thing, I don't know whether I should...
32:38Do you like camping or not?
32:40No. You don't?
32:41No.
32:42Why are you getting so angry about this?
32:45It was the way Alex said it was quite like, I'm going to try and get in your head and live in there as a worm.
32:52Yeah.
32:53Just eating away at your brain.
32:55Yeah, it really felt. So, in the end, you can't even roll a ball in a straight line.
32:59LAUGHTER
33:00Ready to start?
33:02God, yes.
33:03Yuck!
33:03Err!
33:04And vomit.
33:04It's Anya, Maisie and Phil.
33:07OK.
33:08I'm starting my attempt.
33:09Are you having a nice time?
33:20Yeah.
33:21I'm going to reveal you.
33:23LAUGHTER
33:23It's really tasty.
33:37I'm going to cover you up again.
33:38Are you sure you don't want to suck a bit off?
33:41OK.
33:43I was just looking through in the kitchen there.
33:45Yeah.
33:46Looking for all sorts of various things that I might be able to use.
33:50And then...
33:50Oh!
33:51Fuck!
33:52Ah!
33:53Ah!
33:54Ah!
33:55Please stop!
33:56Whatever!
33:56Please!
33:57Oh, God, no!
33:58Oh!
33:59Ah!
33:59Oh, right.
34:00Yeah, OK.
34:01Ah!
34:02I'm going to open the curtain.
34:07Oh, no!
34:10Don't come in.
34:11Save yourself.
34:13Making you a nice, er...
34:15fruit smoothie, Alex.
34:19You're doing it quite violently.
34:20Yeah.
34:21I would like a little bit of a drink to see if it's nice.
34:24Oh, I'm so sorry.
34:27Well, thank you.
34:31Oh!
34:31Nice.
34:32Mm.
34:33Very nice.
34:33There you go.
34:34OK.
34:42Are you all right to keep doing it for a bit?
34:44Yeah, with my calf muscles, Alex.
34:46Your calf muscles?
34:50I need to know what it is that you're doing.
34:51I'm going to have a look.
34:53Here I come.
34:54Here I come.
34:54What are you doing?
35:03What does it look like I'm doing?
35:05I'm rubbing my feet in gravy
35:06in a mixture of chocolate sauce
35:09and crumbled up non-product-specific biscuits.
35:12I'm having a bloody great time.
35:14Nice.
35:15Bloody lovely.
35:15Right.
35:26Right.
35:27Caravan girl.
35:29When the curtain went back,
35:30I mean, you were eating yoghurt with your fingers.
35:32No, it wasn't yoghurt.
35:35Oh, was it?
35:35It was whipped cream and sugar.
35:37But it was really tasty
35:38and I ate it for quite a long time.
35:41This is where it's tricky, you see,
35:42because if it was nice for you,
35:43I'll have to take your word for it.
35:45It wasn't nice watching you eat that with your fingers.
35:48Alex told me that you would be really jealous of it.
35:50Oh.
35:51Oh, did he?
35:55Phil's just tricky,
35:56because what I'm learning about Phil
35:57is he's so upbeat about everything,
35:59he sort of said anything as being nice, really.
36:01I think he genuinely was having a wonderful time.
36:03I was...
36:04Yeah, I mean, I would have been doing that
36:06if I wasn't on the show anyway.
36:09Was it warm gravy?
36:11No, that was where we fell a bit short.
36:13I could feel the granules between my toes.
36:17Your noise, Maisie.
36:18I think where it got sinister and I wrote it down
36:20was when you shouted,
36:21please stop.
36:24I think I'm now realising
36:26that the two things had to be the same.
36:28I just pretended to be attacked
36:30and then made a cocktail.
36:31And then made a cocktail.
36:32Yeah, very much so.
36:33Right, too, it is.
36:34Yeah, yeah.
36:35OK, let's stop once again.
36:38As my doctor said to me at a recent check-up,
36:40just one final push left.
36:42Relax, loosen up a bit.
36:44Hey, stop squirming.
36:45Nurse! Nurse! Help me!
36:47He keeps biting!
36:48LAUGHTER
36:49APPLAUSE
36:50APPLAUSE
36:51Oh-ho!
36:58Welcome back to the final part of the show,
37:00where the cast are tricking us
37:02into thinking they're being disgusting.
37:04The final attempts come from two neighbours over there.
37:07It's Sanjeev from number 42
37:08and Rhys from number 9.
37:10LAUGHTER
37:10You OK in there, Rhys?
37:13Hello, Sanjeev?
37:24Hello, Sanjeev?
37:24Oh-oh-oh-oh.
37:24Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
37:26BUZZ
37:27BUZZ
37:29BUZZ
37:30BUZZ
37:31BUZZ
37:32Right, Sanjeev?
37:34Yep.
37:34I'm going to have a look at you.
37:35OK.
37:36I want to check you're OK.
37:37OK.
37:37BUZZ
37:38BUZZ
37:38BUZZ
37:39BUZZ
37:40BUZZ
37:41BUZZ
37:42BUZZ
37:43BUZZ
37:44BUZZ
37:45BUZZ
37:46BUZZ
37:47BUZZ
37:48BUZZ
37:49BUZZ
37:50BUZZ
37:51BUZZ
37:52BUZZ
37:53BUZZ
37:54BUZZ
37:55BUZZ
37:56Oui, c'est un petit peu de bébé en là.
37:57Oui.
37:58Un petit-sauce mobile.
38:00Avec un disco ball.
38:01Les kids love that.
38:02So, vous êtes babysitting?
38:04Je suis babysitting, oui.
38:06Je suis désolée.
38:07Ce n'est pas un petit peu de doucheur.
38:11Et il me dit le mot « merci ».
38:14Il me dit, non ?
38:16Il me dit, non ?
38:17Je me disais.
38:18Je vais vous donner un petit peu de doucheur.
38:20Je peux vous donner un petit peu de doucheur.
38:22C'est bon.
38:23C'est bon.
38:24I'd like to see the baby.
38:30Do you want to...?
38:31OK.
38:38Oh.
38:39Yeah.
38:40Beautiful baby.
38:41Thank you.
38:47I'm no expert in how one soothes the duck.
38:51I hit upon the idea that the duck would enjoy the sound of something that was similar to a duck quacking.
39:00Oh.
39:01So that was what I was trying to do.
39:02I thought it sounded a bit like a duck whistle, which famously draw the ducks out to the shot.
39:06Yes.
39:07Yeah.
39:08Well, it was a bit of both, I think.
39:10Sounding bad and then it being revealed to be quite a charming thing.
39:13Now, do you think that the sort of nice element of Sanjeev's attempt was somewhat compromised by it being revealed that the baby was in fact a beheaded old woman?
39:23LAUGHTER
39:26All babies are beautiful.
39:28Yes.
39:29Yes.
39:30They are.
39:31Even those who are old without a body.
39:32Well, they have old faces and no body, but they change. They grow. They grow a body.
39:40They...
39:41You don't have to.
39:42You don't have to.
39:43I don't have to.
39:44I did see my nieces when they were babies and they definitely didn't just look like a head.
39:48LAUGHTER
39:50It's a really tough one to score, this.
39:52Well, there's a bit of maths.
39:53I guess you can tell me how disgusting you found them all and then how nice you found them all.
39:57Yeah, OK.
39:58So, Ania, what's her disgustingness score out of ten, Greg?
40:00Er, well, it sounded absolutely disgusting. Nine.
40:03Nine?
40:04Yes.
40:05Terrific.
40:06She says she's having a nice time, so I must take her word for it, but I didn't enjoy watching it, so seven.
40:10Cool. Nine times seven.
40:16So, Ania, 63.
40:18Maisie.
40:19OK.
40:20The cocktail looked absolutely delicious.
40:22Oh, it was, yeah. It was lovely.
40:23Yeah, it looked like you were having a lovely time.
40:24So that...
40:26It's a delicious nine.
40:27Thank you.
40:28Yeah, but...
40:29No way does that cocktail involve those noises.
40:32A person being horribly attacked.
40:34Two.
40:35Two!
40:36Two times nine.
40:37Two.
40:38Right, so we've got a high low.
40:3963.
40:4018.
40:41Phil.
40:42Get complicated.
40:43Phil.
40:44Let's go all the way up the line.
40:45Wow.
40:46The noises were awful.
40:47Horrible.
40:48Disgusting.
40:49Nine.
40:50Nine.
40:51And then, when it was revealed, he was having the time of his life.
40:52Yep.
40:53And he's northern, so why not pump your feet in gravy?
40:55I'm not from the north, but I presume it's great.
40:57They squat, and they...
40:58They squat?
40:59Yeah.
41:00I'm venturing by you saying they squat.
41:02I just think it's important to remember that.
41:04What's the people from the north do?
41:06They squat and they lick.
41:07You know that.
41:09So it's nine times...
41:12Eight.
41:13Eight.
41:14Which is...
41:18But I do know my eight times table.
41:21Nine times eight is 72.
41:23Yeah.
41:24Yeah.
41:25But if you're doing that little smug thing like I don't know my times table,
41:27I'll fuck you up, mate.
41:28I'll fuck you up, mate.
41:29I'll fuck you up.
41:30How about that?
41:31Do you understand those muffs?
41:34Fucking prick.
41:38Who's next?
41:39It's Rhys next.
41:40I could tell he was blowing a trumpet.
41:42I didn't sound that disgusting.
41:43Seven.
41:44Seven for...
41:45The reveal...
41:46I don't know ducks, but there was a bubble coming out of his head.
41:48Eight.
41:49We know eight times seven, don't we?
41:50We all know eight times seven.
41:51Don't we?
41:52Yeah.
41:53What is it?
41:54It's loads.
41:55Phil, what's eight times seven?
41:56Well, I mean, but what is a number?
41:57You know, like...
41:58Good?
41:59Okay, so we've got Sanjeev.
42:00Yeah.
42:01Well, it sounded absolutely disgusting.
42:02Great.
42:03Like a nine.
42:04Nine, disgusting, niceness.
42:05Erm, I don't know why I'm charmed by it.
42:06Nine.
42:07Whoa!
42:0881 for Sanjeev.
42:09There we go.
42:10Good.
42:11Well, it sounded absolutely disgusting.
42:13Great.
42:14Like a nine.
42:15Nine, disgusting.
42:16Niceness.
42:17Erm, I don't know why I'm charmed by it.
42:19Nine.
42:20Whoa!
42:2181 for Sanjeev.
42:22There we go.
42:23Good.
42:24APPLAUSE
42:29Major, you've got 18, your score, so that's one point.
42:32In fourth place, it's Rhys with 56 as your score, so that's two points.
42:37Anya, you're in third place.
42:39You've scored 63.
42:40Three points.
42:41Phil, 72.
42:42Four points for Sanjeev.
42:43Gets a full five points with 81.
42:45Well done, Sanjeev.
42:46APPLAUSE
42:48All right, everybody.
42:49Will you make your way to the stage for this series?
42:51First, final task of the show!
42:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:56Hello, young fellow my lad.
43:06Hi, Greg.
43:07Who will be reading the task out?
43:09Er, Sanjeev will, please.
43:11Ah.
43:12End up on your spot.
43:14You must obey the taskmaster's instructions.
43:17Closest person to their spot at the end of the task wins.
43:21So, it's quite a simple task.
43:23They're all standing on spots.
43:24At the end of the task, you need to be as close to your spot as possible.
43:28I have the health and safety whistle.
43:30If there's danger, I'll blow it.
43:31Please stop.
43:32LAUGHTER
43:33First instruction, please.
43:35Completely cover your eyes.
43:38Using one of these.
43:41LAUGHTER
43:44Pop these on.
43:45Nice and tight, please, guys.
43:46Nice and tight.
43:48LAUGHTER
43:50Are they complete...?
43:52LAUGHTER
43:53What happened?
43:54I need to worry about one of Sanjeev's eyes fell off.
43:56LAUGHTER
43:57OK.
43:58March on the spot until the end of the task.
44:01So, that means whatever happens, you must keep marching.
44:04LAUGHTER
44:06Spin 360 degrees.
44:09Oh.
44:10LAUGHTER
44:12LAUGHTER
44:13Continue to march on the spot, but with higher knees.
44:17LAUGHTER
44:18LAUGHTER
44:21LAUGHTER
44:23LAUGHTER
44:25Just, er...
44:26Just, er...
44:27Just be careful.
44:28Just be careful.
44:29LAUGHTER
44:30LAUGHTER
44:31Take two big steps backwards.
44:34LAUGHTER
44:39That's plenty, Sanjeev.
44:40That's plenty, Sanjeev.
44:41LAUGHTER
44:42LAUGHTER
44:43Love it.
44:44Next instruction, please.
44:45Take two nice big steps...
44:48to the left.
44:49LAUGHTER
44:50LAUGHTER
44:53Oh, Macy...
44:54LAUGHTER
44:55LAUGHTER
44:56LAUGHTER
44:57You're fine.
44:58You're fine. You're fine.
45:00You're fine.
45:01LAUGHTER
45:02Take two nice big steps forward.
45:06LAUGHTER
45:07LAUGHTER
45:09Forward, forward.
45:10Forward, forward.
45:11That's fine, you're right.
45:12You're really ready.
45:14OK, hey.
45:16Bye!
45:17LAUGHTER
45:18Take...
45:19...two nice wide steps...
45:20...to the right.
45:21C'est parti !
45:51C'est parti !
46:21C'est parti !
46:51May Tiago win !
46:53Please go celebrate with some soft things I would benefit from having, but I'm not getting !
46:59C'est parti !
47:01C'est parti !
47:03Merci !
Recommandations
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