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00:00This was a mistake!
00:04Shut up!
00:05Button?
00:14You're mad.
00:16Wow.
00:30APPLAUSE
00:36Hello!
00:37Welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:46Ten weeks of literal blood, sweat and tears,
00:49and we are a short hour away from crowning not just any clown,
00:53the King of the Clowns!
00:55What makes a champion, ladies and gentlemen?
00:57Blood? We've seen it.
00:58Sweat?
00:59Sweat?
01:00All five of our contestants stink a bit.
01:01Tears?
01:02Every night when he wets the bed.
01:04So, we all have the ingredients for one final pie.
01:08The glory pie.
01:11Please...
01:13Meet the meat that hopes to end up being its filling.
01:23They are...
01:24Fatih al-Ghuri!
01:26CHEERING
01:27Jason Mandzuka!
01:29CHEERING
01:30Matti Bainton!
01:32CHEERING
01:33Rosie Ramsey!
01:35CHEERING
01:36And Stevie Martin!
01:37CHEERING
01:40And next to me, a man who tells me the secret to a happy marriage is simple.
01:45Respect.
01:47Making time for your personal space.
01:48Making time for your personal space.
01:49And never telling your wife, Rachel, how boring all her stories are.
01:54LAUGHTER
01:56Ooh!
01:57Ooh!
01:58Ooh!
01:59Ooh!
02:00Little Alex Horne!
02:02CHEERING
02:04Greg, it's the last episode, so I thought, it's about time we renew our vows. Don't you think?
02:13Yeah.
02:14I've written mine.
02:15I, Alex Horne, solemnly swear to protect you till the day one of us is dead.
02:21He's yours.
02:23LAUGHTER
02:24I, Greg Davies, do solemnly swear to express my respect and admiration for you as often as I breathe each breath.
02:30Part two.
02:32LAUGHTER
02:33From today onward, you and I will be one in heart, body and mind.
02:37You need so much for me, part three.
02:39Yeah.
02:41The general rule of thumb with comedy is there's only three parts.
02:45LAUGHTER
02:47You are my sunrise and sunset, my day starts and ends with you.
02:51I'm the luckiest person alive to be standing with you today
02:54and to be facing life with you every day.
02:56That's what I feel as well.
02:57Last one.
02:59Four.
03:00The rule of four.
03:02Let us build a home, a life and a family from these bonds
03:07and promise to stick together through all life's challenges.
03:09You are my fire, my one desire.
03:12There's definitely another one.
03:13That is it.
03:14I put dot, dot, dot cos that's the bit I really meant.
03:16OK.
03:17A paid employee will have printed all those out.
03:19Work experience.
03:20Yep.
03:23Time for the final prize sus category of the series.
03:25What is it?
03:26Yes, Greg, it's an important one and that's why the category is
03:29The Thing Most Likely To Make You Do A Double Take.
03:34Good old Greg will give five points to The Thing
03:36that prompts the biggest delayed surprised reaction.
03:39At the end of the episode, the winner will double take
03:41all five things home with them.
03:43All right, then.
03:44Matthew, what have you brought in that will make me double take?
03:46It is boots in a bin.
03:53Boots in a bin.
03:54Simple is it?
03:56Great.
03:57And it really does look like there's a body in there.
04:00It's a strong start.
04:01Thank you. Simple.
04:02Clean.
04:03Satya.
04:04Yeah.
04:05You've made me double take all series.
04:06My thing is geezers with beards.
04:09Oh.
04:11Have you...
04:12This is crazy.
04:13Have you ever farted in front of a cat?
04:15How is that related?
04:16It was only a natural time until someone asked.
04:25So, yeah, you know like if you fart in front of a cat, yeah, it goes like this.
04:31And that's what happens when I see a geezer with a beard, right?
04:34Because a lot of Muslim men grow beards.
04:37And so, is this beard for somebody that you might find attractive but who doesn't have a beard so you can just put it right on him?
04:43No, we just couldn't find a guy with a beard that I liked.
04:46Oh.
04:47So, if I've understood you correctly, you've brought a beard in because you always double take when you see a man with a beard because you find them attractive but you're hoping that that man is a Muslim.
05:01Yeah.
05:02What I haven't quite worked out is the whole farting in front of cat.
05:07Don't worry about that.
05:08Just leave that.
05:09Yeah, leave that.
05:10That's the reaction.
05:11Cos you...
05:12That's what I'm like.
05:13Backstage you said this was your best one.
05:15It is.
05:16It is terrible.
05:17It is my best one.
05:18OK.
05:19Jason.
05:20Um, I bought this at a yard sale maybe 30 years ago.
05:25It has lived in the kitchen of every house or apartment that I've ever lived in and it never fails to get a double take from people when I show it to them.
05:32Pfff.
05:38You look back again.
05:40I looked again so I could read most meals with dad.
05:44Dad.
05:45Yes.
05:46That's what got me.
05:47That's the double take.
05:48I'd like to think maybe someday, it's not just that I own it, but someday I'll earn it.
05:53You mean you'll eat with your father more often?
05:57Wouldn't that be great?
05:58OK.
05:59It's absolutely weird.
06:01Stevie.
06:02Oh, I forgot mine.
06:04Oh!
06:05I was going silent my whole time because I didn't want you to look at my stupid shoulder.
06:18That is strong.
06:21Genuinely wasn't expecting it, did a genuine double take.
06:26Right.
06:27Rosie.
06:28I have brought a life-size interpretation of my monthly period.
06:33There she is.
06:34Here she is.
06:35Look at it again, Greg.
06:36Look at it again.
06:37What's your problem?
06:38Why do you hate Wendy?
06:39Can it be a double take if you never look at a thing more than once?
06:40Take it all in.
06:41It's just nature.
06:42Yeah.
06:43Oh, and it's absolutely empowering.
06:44Yes.
06:45Yes.
06:46Very good.
06:47Very good.
06:48Very good.
06:49The thing most likely to make you do a double take, Greg.
06:50What's the thing most likely to...
06:51OK, well, if I...
06:52This is going to ruin my potential marriage to Fatia, I think.
06:54Oh, no.
06:55Because I don't double take at men with beards.
06:56So it's one to Fatia again.
06:58Two points to Matthew.
06:59Oh, no, no.
07:00Very good, Greg.
07:01The thing most likely to make you do a double take, Greg.
07:03What's the thing most likely to...
07:04OK, well, if I...
07:05This is going to ruin my potential marriage to Fatia, I think.
07:07Oh, no.
07:08Because I don't double take at men with beards.
07:10So it's one to Fatia again.
07:14Two points to Matthew.
07:15I've seen wellies in the bin.
07:18Sorry.
07:19Why, do I want to hold my hand?
07:20Excuse me.
07:23As much as I love meals with Dad, I'm going to give it three points.
07:26If I saw that blob thing walk past me, I would mega-take
07:32and be disturbed by it, but...
07:34It's her finest work.
07:35She fooled us all.
07:36I did a genuine double take.
07:38Stevie takes five points.
07:39Well done, Stevie Martin.
07:43Right, let's get this party started.
07:45Give me a task proper.
07:46Yes, and what could be more apt than an emotive task
07:49involving the sands of time and some brightly coloured boxes?
07:56Hello.
07:57It's nice in there, isn't it?
08:10I feel like I'm in a microwave, thanks.
08:17Cool.
08:18I'm not going to be too fast now.
08:22You're not going to be too fast?
08:23I'm going to take my time...
08:24OK.
08:25..and be very deliberate in my thoughts and emotions.
08:29Completely fill the yellow box with sand.
08:33The yellow box with sand.
08:37Once you have touched a box, you must hold that box
08:40for the rest of the task.
08:42Once...
08:44Once you have touched a box, you must hold that box
08:47for the rest of the task.
08:49Right, well, I haven't touched any from seeing that.
08:57Fastest wins.
08:58OK, so this seems to be a situation under here.
09:01I'd love you to read the last line.
09:03I would love to, but I just want to figure out
09:05how this thing works.
09:06Have you started the clock?
09:07No.
09:08Great.
09:10I'm tempted to.
09:13Your time starts...
09:14..now.
09:16APPLAUSE
09:20Stevie, what are you going to be...
09:22I think it might be a catchphrase that people could use
09:24for you going forward, so I just want to shine a light on it.
09:27Oh, thank you.
09:28You said, OK, I'm going to be very deliberate
09:30in my thoughts and emotions.
09:33And then he went, ha, ha, ha, on the box!
09:36Right, do you want to go through some rules?
09:38Yeah, well, you didn't need to worry about the touching
09:40until after you said your time starts now.
09:41Don't worry about that.
09:42Ah!
09:43Fill the yellow box up with sand.
09:44If you touch a box, you've got to hold the box.
09:45First up, we're going to see fattier, rosy and sandy.
09:50Sand.
09:51We're going to see sand.
09:58So how are you going to do this?
09:59Because they don't want to touch anything.
10:03Oh, bollocks!
10:05Holy shit!
10:06You've just touched the orange one so far.
10:08Why are you stating the obvious?
10:10Oh, shit.
10:11There's another box in here.
10:14I can just grab the sand, can't I?
10:16I'm not touching the box.
10:17Just like this.
10:18Just like this.
10:19I think you need to pick up the blue box.
10:24So...
10:29That's the big one.
10:33Oh, you're carrying that one as well then now.
10:38Oh dear.
10:39Right, so you've touched all the boxes now.
10:46It says living room.
10:47Right.
10:49Do I have to go to the living room?
10:50Off we go.
10:52Can I boot the door in?
10:53Yeah.
10:55Oh, that was a bad idea!
10:58The yellow box is upside down now.
11:00Oh!
11:02Oh, there's more sand.
11:08Oh, you're taking the piss.
11:10You're taking the absolute piss.
11:12Oh my God!
11:13Okay.
11:14Shed.
11:15Oh my God!
11:16Oh my God!
11:17Oh my God!
11:18It's going on your head, is it?
11:19Yeah.
11:26Oh.
11:28What is this?
11:30Why is there all these boxes?
11:32Yeah.
11:36You're wobbling it in.
11:37Yeah.
11:38Is it working?
11:39Um, no.
11:40No.
11:41Oh shit, shit, shit, shit!
11:51Is it completely full of sand?
11:53I think so.
11:55There's no more sand anyway.
11:57Would you like me to stop the clock?
11:59Yeah.
12:00It's half empty.
12:01Yeah.
12:02This is what we're going to do.
12:03I'm going to put that in here.
12:04Yeah.
12:05I think that's a good idea.
12:06Okay.
12:09You're a prick.
12:14Is it full?
12:15Yes, it's full, bruv.
12:17I've done the clock.
12:18Congratulations.
12:19That was impressive.
12:24Actually, I didn't realise that you were Special Forces track.
12:29The kicking in at the door.
12:30Incredible.
12:31And then I used to keep hold of all the boxes.
12:34I lost my balance.
12:35I've got really bad balance.
12:37Yeah, I saw.
12:39Rachel did some great facial expressions during that.
12:42And I was amazed at just how proud you were when you put that orange box on your head.
12:47Yeah, well, I've captured it for posterity. Here it is.
12:50I suspect neither of them succeeded.
12:54Look, neither of them completely filled it with sand, but they did their best.
12:58And that's all that counts?
13:00Not normally, no.
13:02Who's next?
13:03Next up is two men who are prodigious actors.
13:06A skill, of course, that has no use in this task whatsoever.
13:09It's Jason and Matthew.
13:12There's not...
13:13That's not going to all be sand, is it?
13:15There's going to be a trick.
13:16Is there sand anywhere else, Alex?
13:17I don't know.
13:19I don't know.
13:23Ah, I see.
13:25This box has actually quite little sand in it.
13:28I've managed to ascertain that without touching the box yet.
13:32That's a trap.
13:38OK, we've got some sort of contraption here.
13:43How you doing?
13:44Where else is there sand?
13:48There's only sand in here!
13:55The thorough search has turned off the sand.
14:02Sand!
14:08Aha!
14:12Stop the cock!
14:13After all the clock!
14:16Seems full.
14:17After all the clock.
14:18Great.
14:20Thank you, Alex.
14:21Thank you, Jason.
14:28I mean, lovely.
14:29Very indicative of the two nations from whence you both came.
14:33Jason has unbelievable self-belief throughout.
14:36He believes everything will go right,
14:37and Matthew presumes, as is correct, that everything will go wrong
14:42and is absolutely amazed when it doesn't.
14:45LAUGHTER
14:47But pretty sharp and fast.
14:49Jason, 4 minutes 21.
14:50Matt was 1 minutes 25.
14:51Oh!
14:52Oh!
14:53Finally, the argument settled.
14:54We are better.
14:59OK, break time.
15:00There are three parts left to go,
15:01so maybe try and pace yourselves with the booze for a change, yeah?
15:05Stay to you.
15:06APPLAUSE
15:07Hello!
15:08Yes, here we are.
15:09It's the Taskmaster final and it's the start of part two.
15:10That's right, and I've just had a bowl of muesli.
15:13Its fibre content helps keep my digestive system moving smoothly,
15:15preventing constipation and other digestive problems.
15:18The current task involves trying to completely fill the yellow box with sand.
15:22There's just one person left,
15:23and that person's name is still Stevie Martin.
15:26Right.
15:44Oh, I've made a terrible mistake.
15:47That's not...
15:51Oh, sorry.
15:52The sand's outside the dome, isn't it?
16:03I've got massive hands.
16:04I forgot.
16:05Ah!
16:10Shit.
16:13Oh!
16:15Yeah, it's fine.
16:22I can't walk.
16:27I can't walk.
16:29There has to be another way of this.
16:34Oh!
16:35Why should I move it?
16:41No, that's obviously...
16:43Wait, why would I do...
16:45Oh!
16:46What?
16:47Shed.
16:48Whoa.
16:49What have you just seen?
16:50A box that says the word sand on it.
16:51Right.
16:52Are you touching another box?
16:53I'm touching all of the boxes.
16:54Great.
16:55It's got a sheet of sandpaper in it.
16:56Yeah, it says sandpaper on the box.
16:58I...
16:59can't...
17:00deal with that...
17:02now.
17:04Right.
17:05I actually need to think about where I'm going.
17:06OK.
17:07Yeah, all right.
17:09OK.
17:11Are you holding the yellow box?
17:12No, but I've got...
17:13I've got...
17:14I've got a sheet of sandpaper in it.
17:15It's got a sheet of sandpaper in it.
17:16Yeah, it says sandpaper on the box.
17:17I...
17:18can't...
17:19deal with that...
17:20now.
17:21Right, I actually need to think about where I'm going.
17:24OK.
17:25Yeah, all right.
17:30OK.
17:32Are you holding the yellow box?
17:33No, but I've got, like, a bit of a body on it.
17:39After the clock.
17:49Wouldn't she promise she would be?
17:50Oh, she was so deliberate in her thoughts and her emotions.
17:53LAUGHTER
17:56But filled her box up, didn't she?
17:58Right up.
17:59It took her nearly 20 minutes, but she did.
18:01You did it in the end.
18:03Incredibly, though.
18:04You're not going to come last.
18:05Incredible.
18:06Let's get some scores there.
18:07So, first of all, there's no doubt the winner of the task is
18:09Mr Matt Bainton.
18:10He gets five points for his one-minute penalty.
18:14And the other box fillers, Jason, you get four points in second
18:18for four minutes, and Stevie, you took 17 and a half minutes,
18:21but you get three points, I presume.
18:23Well, cos the box was definitely full of sand.
18:25Yes.
18:26100%.
18:27But now we're into murky territory with these two, aren't we?
18:29It is such murky territory.
18:30Now, I should technically give you both nothing,
18:32but cos this is the final, I'm trying to be generous.
18:34You put that sand pot in...
18:36Yeah.
18:37..and that is made of sand.
18:38Yeah, well, I guess it was over the top of the box.
18:40Yeah.
18:41I'm going to give Fatia two points, and I feel pretty bad for you.
18:44You know, you've made a fool of yourself with that box on your head,
18:46so I didn't give you one point.
18:48Well done, Rosie. One to Rosie, two to Fatia,
18:50but Matthew Bainton wins the task!
18:51Yeah!
18:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:54Could you give me the scores, please?
18:56Yes, well, Fatia and Rosie are still at the bottom,
18:58but at the top, with eight points, it's Stevie Martin!
19:00Ooh!
19:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:06What are we going to do next, Alex Horne?
19:09Freeze!
19:10MUSIC PLAYS
19:18MUSIC PLAYS
19:30What's all that nonsense?
19:32Are my Bear Grylls making me walk through rocks?
19:34What's going on?
19:36LAUGHTER
19:37Nice, please.
19:38Oh, yeah, that is nice.
19:39It's gorgeous, isn't it?
19:40It's an inflatable.
19:42LAUGHTER
19:43It's not.
19:44OK.
19:47Freeze on your spot in the most powerful pose.
19:57She's a windy one.
19:58LAUGHTER
20:05It doesn't bode well that inanimate objects
20:07can't freeze on the spot.
20:11Freeze on your spot in the most powerful pose
20:14in five minutes from now.
20:16I'm assuming that's my spot.
20:17It is.
20:19You must be touching two of the objects.
20:23Your time started when you acknowledged Alex.
20:27Is that it?
20:29Probably.
20:30Most powerful pose.
20:33This place is quite regal, innit?
20:35So, regal people have dogs all the time.
20:38The power over life and death?
20:41I could kill a dog.
20:43LAUGHTER
20:44From the 80s, when they used to have these round their necks,
20:47they were quite powerful people.
20:50The most powerful thing in the world
20:51is obviously people who...
20:53Sometimes you were made of them.
20:54So, if I told this...
20:56Oh, shit!
20:58I want to stand up on these two things.
21:00Do you now?
21:01This is my dog that I take to the beach.
21:03These are my skates.
21:05So, this is my puppy, Rufus.
21:09Rufus.
21:10He's been hit by a car.
21:11Oh.
21:12But I have the power to end his life.
21:15LAUGHTER
21:16I'm going to get into a powerful position.
21:19Right?
21:20Mm-hm.
21:21And then, like this.
21:23You're kneeled down here with your head
21:26right where the hammer would be.
21:28Ten seconds.
21:29LAUGHTER
21:38OK, Jason.
21:39Yeah?
21:40I'm just going to read the second part of the task.
21:41Son of a bitch.
21:43LAUGHTER
21:44It says,
21:45Stay completely still in your powerful pose
21:46for the next ten minutes.
21:49Least movement wins.
21:50Your time starts now.
21:52You understand the task?
21:53Uh-huh.
21:55This is a disaster.
21:57LAUGHTER
21:59APPLAUSE
22:04I expected Jason to show something like a man being executed
22:07as an example of power.
22:09But a puppy, Matthew!
22:11LAUGHTER
22:12Powerful, isn't it? Powerful to think about.
22:14The murder of a puppy!
22:15Putting it out of its...
22:16Putting Rufus out of his misery was the idea.
22:18LAUGHTER
22:19It is powerful.
22:20Fatih.
22:21Yeah?
22:22I must have missed the episode of Bear Grylls
22:24when he battled his way across some driveway gravel.
22:27LAUGHTER
22:28It was like running through the Himalayas, she says.
22:33Listen, that shit was deep.
22:36LAUGHTER
22:37What do you think, uh, people in the 80s...
22:40LAUGHTER
22:42What do you think powerful people did in the 80s?
22:44Power, cool kids.
22:47Ah, yeah, yeah.
22:48Roller plays.
22:49I remember Ronald Reagan wore some skates around his neck.
22:51LAUGHTER
22:52When the Berlin Wall came down, didn't he?
22:54LAUGHTER
22:55It's not really about the powerful positions.
22:56I know.
22:57How still they could be in that position.
22:59You want to see how they got on?
23:00Oh, God, do I?
23:01Sometimes you just can't beat a montage of people
23:03standing about in loads of pain.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:06How often do you want me to tell you the time?
23:11Not too often.
23:12OK.
23:13Any regrets?
23:14Mm-hm.
23:15How long has it been?
23:17It's been 34 seconds.
23:19OK.
23:20How do I not see this coming?
23:22This has got all the hallmarks of there's a second task.
23:25Nine minutes left.
23:26It's the twist in the spine I regret the most at this point.
23:30Oh, the benefit is I could really give you a whack right now.
23:35LAUGHTER
23:36How long have I done?
23:37You're almost there, just eight minutes to go.
23:39Oh, shut up!
23:40Happy with your choice?
23:41Mm-hm.
23:42The arm, the arm's a problem, is it?
23:44Mm-hm.
23:45How's the knee?
23:46Not great.
23:47LAUGHTER
23:48We're at two minutes.
23:50Oh, I'm going to do three and then I'm going to...
23:53LAUGHTER
23:55LAUGHTER
23:57Can you just edit it?
23:59Yeah, because my trainer, she's a bitch, yeah?
24:02She'll make me do, like, 20 bench lifts.
24:04Like, just edit it.
24:06LAUGHTER
24:07Dude, this left one is wobbly.
24:11About all right?
24:12Mm-hm.
24:13You're the last?
24:14Mm-hm.
24:15Yeah.
24:16Five minutes gone.
24:18Oh, God!
24:20LAUGHTER
24:21Let me do another pose then.
24:23Right, OK.
24:24Mm-hm.
24:26Mm-hm.
24:27It's taking so much effort.
24:29LAUGHTER
24:30My back hurts, Jason.
24:31Your back's hurting?
24:32Uh-huh.
24:33All right, good.
24:34Lost my toes.
24:35Lost your toes?
24:36Me too.
24:37Little toes have gone.
24:38That's cute.
24:39Isn't it?
24:40Can you stay still?
24:41It's so boring.
24:4350 seconds.
24:44Oh...
24:45Uh...
24:46Uh...
24:47Uh...
24:48Uh...
24:49Uh...
24:50Uh...
24:51Uh...
24:52Uh...
24:53Uh...
24:54Eight seconds.
24:55Oh, my word.
24:57Smashed it!
24:58Oh!
24:59Smashed it.
25:09Thank you, Matthew. Thank you, Rufus.
25:15Fatia, when you say you smashed it, what do you mean?
25:20Because it seems to me everyone went through hell,
25:23screaming in agony for the positions.
25:25What you did, as far as I can work out,
25:27is you called your personal trainer a bitch
25:30and you asked the team to edit it for you.
25:33We did edit it quite a bit because you also said
25:35that Cliff Richard was a prick at one point.
25:42Yeah, that was hard, man.
25:44It was hard if you did it.
25:46I'm going to show you now Jason and Matthew
25:49their effort distilled so you can see how much they moved.
25:52Here we go.
25:53WHISTLE BLOWS
25:54WHISTLE BLOWS
25:55WHISTLE BLOWS
25:56WHISTLE BLOWS
25:57WHISTLE BLOWS
25:58WHISTLE BLOWS
25:59WHISTLE BLOWS
26:03Not bad.
26:04Matthew seconds from crying.
26:06Did you see his face?
26:08I was in...
26:10I was in pain for days.
26:12Yeah.
26:13Jason, you just looked like you were getting tighter and tighter.
26:17Yes.
26:18Angrier and angrier.
26:20I thought, oh, my God, he's going to smash Alex's head.
26:23I did.
26:24I did.
26:25I was desperate to.
26:26The longer it went, the more it seemed like the easiest solution
26:29to the task.
26:30I would have...
26:31A bit of lateral thinking.
26:33I'm afraid there are just two parts of the final to go
26:38with our five mighty competitors.
26:41But thankfully, when it does end, we'll still have each other.
26:45LAUGHTER
26:47My sweet, sweet friend.
27:06Hello!
27:07And welcome back to the third part of this Taskmaster final.
27:11Yes, they're trying to stay as still as possible for ten minutes
27:14in a most powerful pose while touching two objects.
27:17Least movement wins.
27:19Now, let's see how much Rosie and Stevie moved.
27:22Ooh.
27:23WHISTLE BLOWS
27:24WHISTLE BLOWS
27:25WHISTLE BLOWS
27:26WHISTLE BLOWS
27:27WHISTLE BLOWS
27:28WHISTLE BLOWS
27:29WHISTLE BLOWS
27:3110 minutes.
27:33Pretty amazing.
27:35And you were actually in a difficult pose as well.
27:37LAUGHTER
27:38That classic power move.
27:40I'm at the roller rink!
27:42With all my friends.
27:44LAUGHTER
27:45Really good, though.
27:46Yeah, for ten minutes.
27:47I've not got much to say.
27:48It's pretty good.
27:49Well, there is someone still to see,
27:50so you might have something to say.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:52They have been so still.
27:54So, so still.
27:55So still.
27:56And now here is Fatia.
27:58WHISTLE BLOWS
28:00WHISTLE BLOWS
28:01WHISTLE BLOWS
28:02WHISTLE BLOWS
28:03WHISTLE BLOWS
28:04WHISTLE BLOWS
28:05WHISTLE BLOWS
28:06WHISTLE BLOWS
28:07WHISTLE BLOWS
28:08WHISTLE BLOWS
28:09WHISTLE BLOWS
28:10WHISTLE BLOWS
28:11WHISTLE BLOWS
28:12WHISTLE BLOWS
28:13WHISTLE BLOWS
28:14The last ten seconds, she was good.
28:16For nine minutes, 50 seconds.
28:18LAUGHTER
28:19I know.
28:20I just...
28:21Cos when I dropped my hand, I knew it was over, innit?
28:23So I thought, let me just talk.
28:25It's not all about points, is it?
28:27Don't start giving it.
28:29I'm not scared of you.
28:30If you come after me, I'll just go up someone's driveway.
28:33LAUGHTER
28:34APPLAUSE
28:40Loose movement wins, Greg.
28:41One point to Fatia.
28:42OK.
28:43Yeah, I would say that Matthew's murderous character
28:45probably moved the most after Fatia.
28:47Yeah.
28:48Two points to Matthew.
28:49Probably Jason the third.
28:50Are you happy with that, Jason?
28:51I would say...
28:52Am I happy with it?
28:53Fuck no!
28:54LAUGHTER
28:56Appreciate it, Jason.
28:57And it's up to you.
28:58You saw how much they moved.
28:59Not a lot.
29:00I think that Stevie was clearly in such pain
29:02and I actually think she just had the edge, so...
29:05OK, so 4.085 to Stevie Martin.
29:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:11We've got a handful of points left to give this series.
29:14What have you got for me?
29:15I have got a team task, Greg,
29:17and it will hopefully involve your big three.
29:19Fast service, accurate pricing and great food.
29:24MUSIC
29:37Hello, team.
29:38Hello.
29:39This is proper nonsense, you know.
29:42Hello, team.
29:43What team is it?
29:44I'd love it if you would address us by our team name.
29:45I can't remember your team name.
29:46JV Martzoukas.
29:47Yeah!
29:48Provide the best drive-through experience.
29:50Ooh.
29:51Your first customer will arrive in five minutes from now.
29:52The next five customers will arrive every two minutes after that.
29:57They are expecting fast service, accurate pricing and great food.
29:58And great food.
29:59Your time starts now.
30:00So what's closest?
30:01I just want to see...
30:02So we should alternate, right?
30:03So whoever orders...
30:04Holy shit, there's so much stuff.
30:05Are you good at cooking?
30:06I can make food.
30:07Can you count?
30:08I can...
30:09Yeah.
30:10Do you want to do the counting?
30:11Okay.
30:12Let's start making...
30:13Making.
30:14Can you start making...
30:15Warm bread sandwich with...
30:16A warm bread sandwich with butter on the outside?
30:39Oh, no, what a pentagon?
30:41What a pentagon.
30:43Like a 50p piece.
30:45A small flower castle with a moat.
30:48OK.
30:49Draw a pentagon, aren't they?
30:50OK, give me that.
30:51First customer in one minute 20.
30:52Is that a pentagon?
30:53Do you know the pentagon in America?
30:54That's what it looks like.
30:55Do you not know it?
30:56That's the government building here.
30:58And you're at pricing and great food.
31:00Yes.
31:01Come on, then.
31:02Be nice to anyone who comes.
31:03Of course.
31:04Well, Jamie and Mark Zukas immediately seemed like a very efficient team to me.
31:14And the other team...
31:18No, I think it's the mark of a good team that one person runs around trying to address the task,
31:22while the other two debate what a shape is.
31:27Shall we kick it off, then?
31:28Let's get stuck in.
31:29OK, well, for the last time it is, Jason and Stevie first.
31:34Hello.
31:39Hello.
31:40Hi there.
31:41Hello, little boy.
31:42How are you?
31:43I'm good.
31:44I'm hungry.
31:45Great.
31:46What can I get you?
31:47I'll have some warm bread sandwich, please.
31:48OK.
31:49Cut into it.
31:50Sorry, but can I have it cut into a pentagon shape?
31:51OK.
31:52Stevie, warm toast.
31:53Cut into a pentagon.
31:54And fizzy milk, please, is the drink.
31:56A drizzle.
31:57A drizzle.
31:58A drizzle, a medium.
31:59And no size, please.
32:00I think I'm already going to have enough Sprite down.
32:02So where do I go?
32:03You're going to have to pay down here.
32:05OK.
32:06Am I following you?
32:07Yes, please.
32:08Hey, this is a great start.
32:09Can you repeat literally everything you just said?
32:11Yes, some toast cut into a pentagon.
32:13Yep.
32:14And a little bit of milk.
32:15Oh, hello.
32:16Pentagon.
32:17Hi.
32:18Hi there.
32:19I've ordered back there.
32:20How much do I owe you?
32:21This is just going to be?
32:22Type price.
32:23Press for drink.
32:24Main side.
32:25Press conf...
32:26What?
32:33Oh boy.
32:34Oh, there's somebody.
32:35Son of a bitch.
32:38I need to get back in the kitchen.
32:40Please take the payment quickly.
32:42Sorry.
32:43I guess...
32:44There's your ticket.
32:45Hello.
32:46Your food will be available at the window here, please.
32:48Thank you so much.
32:49Very reasonable.
32:51Sorry.
32:52Yeah.
32:53Second order coming in.
32:54Ah.
32:55Oh, hello.
32:56Hello.
32:57Welcome to the JV Martzoukas Deli.
32:58Hello.
32:59Thank you for dining at JV Martzoukas.
33:01Your pentagon of toast and your milk.
33:03We're an organisation that is dedicated to bringing delicious, sustainable...
33:06God bless.
33:07Is it fizzy, the milk?
33:08Er...
33:09In a way.
33:10Meant to be fizzy.
33:11Locally sourced food from around the area...
33:13What the fuck?
33:14...to you and anybody else around.
33:16So how can I help you?
33:17Burnt toast and just a drizzle of milk, please.
33:20Sure.
33:23Wow.
33:24Okay, I've got...
33:25I do have to go.
33:26I've got a meeting.
33:27I'd love to tell you just a little bit about the establishment.
33:29So that's going to be 3.50.
33:31We started during peak pandemic.
33:34You're a wonderful little guy.
33:35Ah, thank you.
33:36We started out of our kitchen.
33:37That's $4.75.
33:38We're a couple.
33:39Uh, pay at the geodesic dog.
33:40We're in love.
33:41You okay?
33:42Yes!
33:43So that was $7.74?
33:46We love making food for people.
33:47Hello.
33:48This is your burnt toast with a drizzle of milk.
33:49Here is your steamed bread.
33:50Homemaker.
33:51Here is ten ice cubes in a little tower for you.
33:53Have a great day.
33:54Thank you very much.
33:56What you're doing is great out there.
33:57Thank you for your service.
33:58I appreciate that.
33:59Yeah.
34:00You as well.
34:01So that'll be $1.50.
34:02There you go.
34:03We thought, why not do some good for the world?
34:05We're going to need a small flower castle with a moat.
34:09Extra gluten, please.
34:10On it.
34:11I've already made it.
34:12Absolutely crushing it, baby.
34:13I'm pretty good at this.
34:14And people just loved it.
34:16Here is the flower castle with a little moat.
34:19Is there extra gluten?
34:21Extra gluten?
34:22One second.
34:23I'm so sorry.
34:24They love what we're doing.
34:25So here we are.
34:26Now what can I get you?
34:27I'm going to miss the slug out of gluten.
34:29So it's right.
34:30There's a little gluten flag for your castle.
34:32I'm going to pop that.
34:34Have a great day.
34:35Have a great day.
34:36Have an amazing day.
34:39Thank you for dining at JV Matsoukas.
34:42We're your family.
34:44APPLAUSE
34:49So cute.
34:50So cute.
34:52Right.
34:53I genuinely think you should go into business together.
34:56It was actually really clever of Jason, wasn't it,
34:59to start speaking absolute bullshit.
35:02Because it just slowed it all down so beautifully.
35:05So clever.
35:06We've not seen that side of you before, Jason.
35:08No.
35:09The clever side?
35:10LAUGHTER
35:11Tell me a minute about that.
35:12Listen, asshole.
35:13LAUGHTER
35:15It was great.
35:16I loved hearing the backstory.
35:18You were so polite.
35:19My favourite line of the whole thing,
35:21and I know that you were genuinely proud of yourself
35:23when you went,
35:24I've already made it.
35:25APPLAUSE
35:27What a delight it was to be in the company of this wonderful family-run business.
35:36LAUGHTER
35:37Now, I like to be even-handed, so I'm looking forward to seeing the next one.
35:42And I don't think that it will necessarily be an absolute shit...
35:46LAUGHTER
35:48Well, we're here already.
35:50The trophy ceremony is coming.
35:51But let's not forget,
35:53someone will also be strutting home with some mannequin legs in a bin
35:57and the physical manifestation of a period.
36:00You say what you want about this show,
36:02but we are classy as fuck!
36:05APPLAUSE
36:15Oh, hello!
36:17Welcome back!
36:18And here we go.
36:19The final part of the series.
36:21I know, and if I knew how to cry, I would cry.
36:23The Taskmaster drive-through is open,
36:26and we've already seen JV Martzoukas selling their wares.
36:28Now for the team of three, who obviously had a big advantage.
36:31They just have to control one station each,
36:33so I dread to think how much they're going to show up the other team.
36:37LAUGHTER
36:38Let's see.
36:47Hi there.
36:48Can I have some warm bread sandwich, please?
36:50Of course you can.
36:51So, where's the fries, though?
36:52I feel...
36:53I wonder...
36:54I worry...
36:55I worry I shouldn't have been in here, cos I...
36:57You all right?
36:58All right.
36:59I'm with you.
37:01What's that?
37:02OK, listen up.
37:03I need a warm bread sandwich with butter on the outside
37:08in a pentagon shape.
37:09And I also need...
37:10Hello?
37:11..50 milk in a small size.
37:17Hello!
37:18Hello!
37:19Oh, we've got that, thank you.
37:21Where do I pay?
37:22£8.55.
37:23So, you were the Pentagon, erm...
37:24I'm in a bit of a hurry.
37:25Hello, sir.
37:26Hello.
37:27How can I help you, sir?
37:28Could I have a burnt toast?
37:29Yes, of course.
37:30Fast food, they said.
37:31LAUGHTER
37:32Er, so that's also...
37:33Sorry!
37:34One moment, sir.
37:35£8.55, please.
37:36Right.
37:37There's your change, sir.
37:38OK, where do I go?
37:39Erm, if you'd like to just reverse back up to the food counter, that's where the food...
37:41Well, I know that's where they're preparing the food, that's where I get it as well, is it?
37:42Where would you like it, sir?
37:43Where would you like it, sir?
37:44Or where they deliver it?
37:45Where would you like it?
37:46That's an extra help.
37:47OK, you're welcome.
37:48Have a good day.
37:49I'll reverse if you want me to.
37:50No, don't reverse because there's another customer coming.
37:51Hey!
37:52Hey!
37:53Hey!
37:54Hey!
37:55Hey!
37:56Hey!
37:57Hey!
37:58Hey!
37:59Hey!
38:00Hey!
38:01Hey!
38:02Hey!
38:03Hey!
38:04Hey!
38:05Hey!
38:06Hey!
38:07Hey!
38:08Hey!
38:09Hey!
38:10Hey!
38:11Hey!
38:12Hey!
38:13Hey!
38:14We need a slice of burnt toast and a drizzle of milk.
38:18Where do I go?
38:21Sorry, Matthew, where do I get the food?
38:24Matthew?
38:25Spilled milk, dirty milk, or just normal?
38:27Spilled milk.
38:28Hello.
38:29Can you just head on round there?
38:30Just round there, is it?
38:31OK, right, thank you.
38:32Here you go, enjoy your meal, sir.
38:35I am ice cubes in the power.
38:38OK!
38:39Your toast is coming! It's just getting burnt!
38:43How's it going, guys?
38:45Thank you so much.
38:46Going well, thanks.
38:48Coming!
38:49This isn't burnt.
38:51Sorry, it's raining out here.
38:53I've got the ice. Who ordered the ice?
38:55Oh, no.
38:56Oh, that's me.
38:57OK, there you go.
38:58Thank you very much.
39:00I need one small flower parcel with a mug.
39:03Just making sure the toast is nice and burnt for you.
39:07Are you OK?
39:08Yeah, I'm just doing this flower castle.
39:10Was it a small flower castle with a mug, sir?
39:12Yes, it was, yeah.
39:13Matt, listen.
39:14The guy's a little bit leery, innit?
39:16So, if he starts doing it, just call me, I'll come round.
39:1899p, please.
39:19Perfect.
39:20There you are, sir.
39:21Thank you so much.
39:22Rosie, the guy's asking for the mug,
39:24and I told him it's the size of your hand.
39:26What is a mug?
39:28Hello?
39:29How are you getting on with the burnt toast?
39:32Busy burning.
39:33That person came through ten minutes ago.
39:35What is going on?
39:36Come on.
39:37I'm going.
39:38Ah, Matthew.
39:39Is it Matthew?
39:40Is it Matthew, sir?
39:41Good afternoon, sir.
39:42Hello again.
39:43Hello.
39:44Sorry, sir.
39:45There was another guy waiting, actually, for some burnt toast.
39:47He got quite high rate and he had to dash.
39:49I've got another customer.
39:50So, I can ask that actually looks like soldiers.
39:52I need these bread...
39:55...all made confetti from all dirty water.
39:58A small dirty water?
39:59Hello?
40:00Hello?
40:01Guys, am I doing an actual soldier?
40:03Or is it the soldiers that you dip in your dippy eggs?
40:05No, it's an actual soldier.
40:07Like, what do you mean?
40:08What does a soldier look like?
40:09Yes.
40:10If there's a sense of limbs...
40:11Hello!
40:12Does that look like anyone's small dirty water and steamed bread?
40:16That's it.
40:17Sorry for your weed.
40:19Guys, there's no more customers left.
40:21Do you want me to come and help you?
40:22I think they're all, um...
40:24They're all happy at the moment.
40:26I think they'll make me good.
40:27APPLAUSE
40:29Yeah.
40:30Well done.
40:31Well done.
40:34Where do I start?
40:35I think maybe the guy on the till is a stoner?
40:38LAUGHTER
40:40I was really fixated that it was going to be judged
40:42on the accuracy of the pricing.
40:44It's part of it.
40:45And so, I really didn't want to get the maths wrong.
40:48So, what were you doing down there?
40:50You were adding things...
40:51I was adding...
40:52Yeah.
40:53Because you seemed so still.
40:54LAUGHTER
40:55I was trying to be deliberate in my thoughts and emotions.
40:58APPLAUSE
41:04You, turning on your team from the start.
41:06I'm with a customer.
41:07Shut up!
41:10Guy's getting a bit leery.
41:13I think if this had been further into the series,
41:15we wouldn't have put Fatia in a front-facing...
41:18LAUGHTER
41:19Well, team of three did take a lot longer,
41:22cos we only had two of those bicycles
41:23and we were meant to go round in a loop each time,
41:25but one of us had to use a scooter in the end
41:26because there was such a delay.
41:28LAUGHTER
41:29Average wait time of 31 seconds, team of two,
41:32average wait time of 2 minutes 41 for the team of three.
41:36What they didn't do was any prep beforehand,
41:38whereas the other team had everything...
41:39The toast was already burning.
41:40Everything was ready,
41:41whereas you were trying to burn the toast for 16 minutes.
41:43One customer left.
41:44Did you say 16 minutes?
41:45Yeah.
41:46Well, they kept popping up,
41:47then you'd leave it for quite a while and put it down.
41:48LAUGHTER
41:49The thing about us is we won't compromise on quality.
41:52LAUGHTER
41:53That is one thing we won't do.
41:55APPLAUSE
41:56Obviously, the team of two were superior.
42:01Five points to the team of two.
42:03Hmm...
42:04Four.
42:05LAUGHTER
42:07Bullshit.
42:08No!
42:09Wasn't that bad.
42:10There's got to be more other golfs than that.
42:11It was chaos.
42:12Give them three points each.
42:13OK.
42:14Team of three gets three, team of two gets five points
42:16of three.
42:17OK.
42:18OK, everyone, this is it.
42:20Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the series!
42:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:27I hoped we'd end on something big.
42:41Who is going to read the final task out?
42:43Stevie is going to read the final task.
42:45OK.
42:46Get the most carrot in your bucket.
42:49You must hold your hands behind your back at all times.
42:52You have 100 seconds.
42:54Yes.
42:55I should say the carrot in the bucket must be liberated
42:57from its string and helmet.
42:59You can't just...
43:01..lean down.
43:02Oh, so it's going to be freed in some way.
43:04It must be freed.
43:05Oh, good luck.
43:06It's the climax.
43:07Oh, my God.
43:08Oh, my God, what?
43:12Oh!
43:13Oh!
43:18Can you...
43:19Can you do this?
43:20It must be liberated.
43:22Jason's done it!
43:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:28Has it got to be off the string?
43:29Yes.
43:30It must be off the string.
43:31Oh, Carl.
43:32Oh, Carl.
43:33Oh!
43:34Come on, you limbo guy.
43:36Oh!
43:37Oh!
43:38Oh!
43:39Oh!
43:40Oh!
43:41Oh!
43:42Oh!
43:43Oh!
43:44Oh!
43:45Oh!
43:46Oh!
43:47Oh!
43:48Oh!
43:49Oh!
43:50Oh!
43:51Oh!
43:52Oh!
43:53Oh!
43:54Oh!
43:55Oh!
43:56Oh!
43:57Oh!
43:58Oh!
43:59Oh!
44:00Oh, my God!
44:01Oh, lovely.
44:0230 seconds.
44:03Yes!
44:04What is it?
44:05Oh!
44:06Oh!
44:07Oh!
44:08Oh!
44:09Oh!
44:10Oh!
44:11Oh!
44:12Oh!
44:13Oh!
44:14Oh!
44:15Oh!
44:16Oh!
44:17Oh!
44:18Oh!
44:21We've got to be the count of the Mars.
44:22What's going to happen now?
44:2310 seconds.
44:24Oh.
44:25Bite into it.
44:26Bite into it and spit it out.
44:27Ah!
44:28Oh!
44:29Two.
44:31One!
44:32Oh!
44:37Come on, Rosie!
44:39Ah!
44:40Ah!
44:44Er...
44:46Oh, God!
44:48Are we all finished? Yeah, we finished a little while ago.
44:56Well, that's your final scores. Come down and join me.
45:06Exactly what we were hoping for.
45:08So, it was going to be most carrot in the bucket,
45:10it turned out to be more of a race,
45:12because Jason used his technique of mild violence this time
45:15to manage to shake off the whole carrot almost immediately.
45:17With speed and amount of carrot taking into account,
45:20Jason got the five points, Stevie, four, Matt, three,
45:23Rosie, two, and Fatia, one point.
45:29So, it's been a strong episode for JV Martzoukas.
45:32Jason ends up in second place with 20 points,
45:34but Stevie wins the episode with 22!
45:38Stevie wins the episode!
45:40Please double back to the stage!
45:42Protect your things!
45:43The first time we make you double ten!
45:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:58Well, well, well.
46:00Our journey is at an end.
46:02Five entered this arena, ready to give everything,
46:06and everything they have given.
46:09But who is about to be crowned Tusk Supremo?
46:13My faithful, featureless little sausage dog.
46:17Please reveal the final scores.
46:20OK, then.
46:21Well, it's been full on, it's been a bit much for me,
46:23but we have in last place.
46:26She was in second briefly with 141 points.
46:29It's the magnificent Fatia!
46:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:36And just above her in fourth place,
46:38she was in second for most of the series,
46:40but a real slump at the end.
46:41With 149 points, it's Rosie Ramsey!
46:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:46And that's because one person has climbed above you by one point.
46:51He was last for nearly the entirety of the series,
46:54but Jason Mantzoukas has 150 points!
46:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:01Only two left, with 154 points.
47:04But she won this episode.
47:05In second place is Stevie Martin!
47:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:09And the winner, 15 points ahead, with 169 points.
47:16Our new Taskmaster Champion is...
47:20..Matthew Bainter!
47:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:39WOW!
47:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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