- 5 months ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30Welcome
00:34Welcome
00:36Welcome to Knowing Me Knowing You with me, Alan Partridge. Tonight, I am a rocket. Prepare to board Sputnik Partridge and enter
00:59the stratosphere or should I say the chatter-sphere?
01:05Tonight's show is
01:08hot
01:10How hot Alan? Well, imagine Debbie Harry in Cammy Knickers spoon-feeding a beef bindaloo to pans people in a sauna in Bangkok
01:22That's half as hot as tonight's show
01:24Because among tonight's spicy guests I've got the hottest sexiest dance act in northern Europe hot pants and
01:33For the first time ever on an english-speaking chat show a jacuzzi
01:37I'll be
01:42I'll be getting in that later. It's plumbed in. It's thermostatically controlled and it's set on hot
01:47It's set on hot
01:49But first
01:51First an apology
01:55In last week's show I accused actor Roger Moore of being a towel thief
02:01This allegation was untrue
02:04Roger Moore has at no time stolen a towel
02:08bath mat
02:09flannel
02:10shower curtain
02:12sponge
02:13or any other form of hotel bathroom accessory
02:17I Alan Partridge apologize unreservedly to Roger Moore for my ill-informed and ignorant comments
02:22And I fully acknowledge that I am guilty of gross professional misconduct
02:28It's time now to welcome my resident house band Glenn Ponder and Ferrari
02:34Oh
02:36Oh
02:42Knowing me Alan Partridge knowing you Glenn Ponder
02:45Uh-huh
02:46Uh-huh
02:47Glenn
02:48If this chat show was a train
02:49Do you know what kind of train it would be?
02:51No Alan?
02:52The Chattanooga choo-choo
02:55But
02:57What was that whistle noise?
03:01What was that?
03:02You know
03:03Meant to be the train Alan
03:04Right
03:05You didn't do that in rehearsal
03:07It better be a surprise
03:09Surprise me in rehearsal Glenn
03:11Don't surprise me on a live television show
03:15It's a little bit naughty that
03:16She'll do that
03:17Bit naughty
03:20Glenn Ponder and Ferrari
03:22Oh
03:23This show is hot
03:32Could really work up her thirst
03:34Ah
03:43My first guest is a singer
03:46She's 41
03:4924 years ago
03:51She was working in a shoe shop in Kansas City
03:55One day a man came in and asked for a pair of size 8 turtle green platform shoes
04:00As she slipped them on him
04:01She started singing to herself
04:03The man said
04:04I won't have these shoes
04:05The bridge is too low and I've got wide feet
04:07Those were his actual words
04:09They don't fit, he said
04:12But your beautiful voice fits your face like a slipper
04:16I'm going to make you a star
04:18That man was Neil Sedaka
04:20Neil's not doing so well anymore
04:22But she is
04:24She's the biggest singing sensation in America
04:26Except for Barbara Streisand and Liza Minnelli
04:29She requires no introduction
04:30But nevertheless
04:31Please welcome
04:32Gina Langland
04:33Gina Langland
04:34APPLAUSE
04:36Thank you for the peace
04:38Thank you for the peace
04:39And for the peace
04:40And for the peace
04:41And for the peace
04:42And for the peace
04:43And for the peace
04:44And for the peace
04:45Thank you for the peace
04:47For giving it to you
04:51Oh dear
04:54I've got an extra kiss for free there
04:57Not that you normally charge
04:59Now
05:00Now, Gina, you can't stay long because in 40 minutes' time you're due on stage at Earl's Court
05:09for the closing night of your sell-out concert tour.
05:12Mm-hmm. It's been wonderful, Alec, you know. I mean, I just had no idea that I had so many fans.
05:17Well, why did you book Earl's Court? It's massive.
05:24Well, because it's just a wonderful venue.
05:27Yeah, it is, it is. They do the Ideal Homes exhibition.
05:32I nearly opened it last year, but I was pipped at the post by Dave Lee Travis. Again.
05:40Who?
05:41Who, yes, exactly. That's what I said, yeah. Very good.
05:44Now, Gina, it really would be great if you could stay a little bit longer.
05:48Oh, you know, I'd love to, Alec. I'd really love to stay for the whole show, but I just can't.
05:52Well, we don't actually want you to stay for the whole show.
05:55I just want you to stay a little bit longer. I mean, we have got other guests.
05:59We've got hot pants. They're on later on. Stay tuned, fellas.
06:02Tsss.
06:04I just want you to stay for a little bit longer. Please?
06:06Well, I'd love to. I really would, but I'm late as it is.
06:09Please?
06:10I just can't.
06:12Please?
06:14No, I can't.
06:18Please?
06:19We have four minutes, Alec.
06:22Right. Alan. Alan.
06:24Four minutes. Okay. Now, Gina, you're such a busy bee, aren't you?
06:29Buzzing from flower to flower, collecting cash pollen in the sacks on the back of your legs.
06:37Not literally. Not literally. That would be hideous.
06:39I mean, if you're a bee. What I'm trying to say is, do you ever get a time to relax? Do you ever get time off?
06:46Alec, you know, it's funny you should say that, because tomorrow I begin a month's vacation.
06:51Oh, lovely. Where?
06:52Barbados.
06:54I'm going there at the end of the month.
06:55Really?
06:56Yeah, I'm doing an advert for Sprunt. It's a new tropical fruit drink from Germany.
07:03I thought you weren't allowed to advertise on the BBC.
07:05I'm not advertising. I'm not. That's illegal. I'm not advertising. No, no, no.
07:08I'm simply saying that I'm doing an advert for Sprunt, the new, tangy, tropical fruit drink from Germany.
07:16I'm not advertising.
07:17And what do you have to do in the ad?
07:19Well, basically, I'm on a beach, and I lie on a hammock, sipping Sprunt, and surrounded by half-naked tropical dancers.
07:29Who are they?
07:30They're called Hot Pants. We've got them on the show tonight.
07:35Alec, can I suggest that we do the song now?
07:38No, no, that's a surprise. No. First of all, there's a present I want to give to you right now.
07:44This is a new regular section of the show called Alan's Big Pocket.
07:50In this section, I put my hand into my big pocket, and I produce something I think my guest will like.
07:57So, will you now please bring on Alan's Big Pocket?
08:00Let's turn out Alan's Big Pocket and see what's in it. It's two Victorian dogs.
08:18There you go. There you go.
08:21This one's, er, this one's Sherlock Holmes, this one's Queen, Queen Victoria.
08:27Now, Gina, when I was on the phone to your manager in Los Angeles, he happened to mention that you loved collecting Victorian dogs.
08:36Voila, two Victorian dogs, courtesy of Alan Partridge.
08:41Victorian dolls.
08:42What?
08:43I collect Victorian dolls.
08:46Not Victorian dogs?
08:48Well, what are Victorian dogs?
08:51I've no idea.
08:52No.
08:54We thought it'd be something like this.
08:56Do you, um, do you like dogs?
08:59Well, er, I have a cat back home.
09:01Does, does, does it like dogs?
09:03Not really.
09:05Right, that's a bit of a problem, because we've got two dogs here.
09:08Um, listen, why don't you take them with you in the car to Earl's Court, see if you like them, and if you don't, um, you know, just let them out near the railway.
09:14They'll find their way back to Battersea, they'll be warm enough in all this gear.
09:20You're giving them a sporting chance.
09:23No, I, I can't, I can't do that.
09:26All right, okay, we'll do it.
09:28Um, get, get rid of the dogs.
09:29Right, ladies and gentlemen, two dogs.
09:30Two dogs.
09:31Two dogs.
09:44I'm so sorry, Alec.
09:45I mean, it was a lovely thought.
09:46Alan.
09:47Do you do Alec's Big Pocket every week?
09:48Alan, Alan's Big Pocket.
09:50It's like a, some kind of a catchphrase, I guess, as if people stop you in the street and say, hey, Alec, you want to sign my pocket?
09:55You're deaf.
09:56I'm sorry?
10:00Yes, people do stop me in the street, yes, they stop me and ask for my autograph.
10:03Do you know what I do?
10:04What?
10:05To save time, you'll like this, I have this, it's a stamp with my autograph on it.
10:11Yeah, and basically what I do is I give, they give me a card, something like this, and I simply take the card, and I just stamp my signature on like that, see?
10:19It's got that there, and then I give them that.
10:21That's my name.
10:22You read that.
10:23Alec Partridge, great.
10:24Read what it says on the card.
10:26Alec Partridge.
10:27No, it says Alan.
10:29Alan Partridge.
10:30Why?
10:32Because that's my name.
10:35Oh my God.
10:37I'm so sorry.
10:38It's okay.
10:39It's so embarrassing.
10:40It's all right.
10:41Oh God, you must have thought I was being so rude, Alec.
10:43Alan!
10:44Alan!
10:45Alan!
10:46Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan.
10:51My name is Alan Partridge.
10:54That's who I am.
10:55There.
10:58Alan Partridge.
10:59There are no excuses.
11:00It's the wrong way up.
11:01Right.
11:02There.
11:03Fine.
11:04Now, before Gina goes, I'd like to ask her one more question.
11:09Gina, do you like ABBA?
11:11I love ABBA.
11:12Would you like to do a medley of ABBA songs with me right now?
11:15I couldn't possibly.
11:17Oh, why not for goodness sake?
11:20Because, Alan, I'm nothing special.
11:26In fact, I'm a bit of a bore.
11:29No, you're not.
11:30You're not boring.
11:31But if I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before.
11:35I don't believe that.
11:36No, you probably have.
11:38But I have a talent, a wonderful thing.
11:41Cause everyone listens when I start to sing.
11:46I'm so grateful and proud.
11:50All I want is to sing it out loud.
12:08Take a change your mind, I'm a first in line
12:12Honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me
12:16If you need me, let me know, I'm a young man
12:20But you've got no place to go when you're feeling down
12:24Take a chance on me
12:26That's all I ask, honey!
12:28Take a chance on me
12:31Chicky Tita, you and I know
12:36And you see the stars, Fernando
12:39The winner takes it all
12:42Mamma mia, here I go again
12:47I have a dream
12:50Gimme, gimme, gimme a man of the midnight
12:55Vui, vui
13:01Take a change your mind, now it's all we get
13:05Nothing promise, no regrets
13:09Boo-ley-boo
13:12Ain't no big decision
13:15You know what to do
13:17I guess you'll say boo-ley-boo
13:20Boo-ley-boo
13:25Oh, you can dance
13:29You can die
13:31Having the song of your life
13:34Boo-oo-oo-oo
13:35See that girl
13:37Watch that scene
13:39You're dancing green
13:41Thank you for the music
13:46The songs you're singing
13:48Thanks for all
13:51The joy you're bringing
13:53Who can live without it?
13:55I ask in all honesty
13:58What would life be?
14:02Without a song
14:03Or a dance
14:05What are we?
14:06So I say
14:08Thank you for the music
14:10For giving
14:12For giving
14:12It to
14:13Me
14:14What a loo-oo-oo
14:17Knowing me
14:19Knowing you
14:21Knowing you
14:23Oh
14:24Oh
14:25Oh
14:27Oh
14:28Oh
14:29Oh
14:30Oh
14:31Oh
14:33Oh
14:35Oh
14:37I have an announcement to make
14:43Last week
14:45I had naked sex
14:47With the Home Secretary
14:48And I want to sell my story
14:51Of course
14:53Of course I haven't
14:54But if I had
14:57Who would I go to?
14:58Well, I'd go to my next guest
15:00Because he is a high profile agent
15:03And publicist
15:04Who represents both celebrities
15:05And for want of a better word
15:07Harlots
15:08Please
15:11Please welcome
15:12The man Virginia Bottomley
15:14Called
15:14That little turd
15:15Lawrence Knowles
15:17You are the man they love to hate
15:27I'd prefer to think of myself as the man they hate to love
15:33But, uh, but you're not
15:47But you're not
15:49You are the man they love to hate
15:51Well, that's very amusing Alan
15:55And some of your audience found it amusing too
15:58But
15:59There is a positive side to what I do
16:03I often help various celebrities
16:06If I might give you an example
16:08Please do
16:09Let's take the Dimbleby brothers
16:12Supposing Jonathan and David came to me
16:15And they said
16:15Lawrence, we need help
16:17People think of us as a little bit too serious
16:21A little bit dull
16:23Yeah, I know what you mean
16:24Well
16:24I would rectify that image problem
16:28By ensuring that the Dimbleby brothers
16:30Were seen letting their hair down
16:32At a fashionable night spot
16:34Such as Stringfellows
16:36Right, right
16:37Or perhaps sharing an ice cream
16:39At Alton Towers
16:40Or a can of spunt
16:43Yes
16:44Yes
16:45Conversely
16:46Take a celebrity
16:47Who is perhaps perceived as being unintelligent
16:50Someone like
16:51Paul Gazza-Gascoigne
16:54Or Dave Lee Travis
16:55Yes
16:55That's a better example
16:58Yes, it is, isn't it?
17:00So if Dave Lee Travis
17:02Was worried about looking unintelligent
17:04I would ensure
17:06That he was seen at the opera
17:08Perhaps with a book in his hand
17:10Yes, it's quite clever
17:11Another scenario that might occur
17:14Is a celebrity who comes to me
17:16And says
17:16Lawrence
17:16I am a practising homosexual
17:20And I would like to keep this
17:22Delicate matter private
17:24Very wise
17:25I would then ensure
17:28That this homosexual VIP
17:31Was seen in a heterosexual context
17:34Such as?
17:36A pub
17:36A fast car
17:40A football match
17:41Right
17:42You don't mean George Best
17:44No, Alan
17:49Let me assure you
17:50That George is as straight as the passes
17:52He used to make to Bobby Charlton
17:54Who, by the way
17:55Is also not a homosexual
17:57But what if someone comes up to you
18:00And says
18:00Lawrence
18:01I
18:02How can I put it
18:03I play for both sides
18:05I play for Manchester United
18:09And Manchester City
18:10I'm Dennis Law
18:13I don't understand him
18:18I'm bisexual
18:19You are?
18:20No, Dennis Law
18:21No, not Dennis Law
18:22No, no, God
18:23No
18:23Sorry, Dennis
18:25Sorry about that
18:26If you're watching
18:27Let's go for a drink sometime
18:29As friends
18:31Actually, no, let's not
18:33Let's call it off
18:34I'll just go home to my wife
18:36I must say
18:38I'm looking forward to seeing Hot Pants later
18:40Oh, yes
18:42Stay tuned, fellas
18:43Now, Lawrence
18:46Very recently
18:48You have been involved
18:49In a massive
18:51Royal scandal
18:52In which you've obtained
18:54Photographs
18:55Of the royal family
18:56Taken from hidden cameras
18:57And you've published these
19:00In a book
19:00This book is in no way
19:03Scandalous
19:03Nor salacious
19:04The book
19:05Her Majesty's Pleasure
19:06Is being published
19:11Purely in the public interest
19:12Well, you say that
19:14But
19:14There's photographs
19:16There's one here
19:17Prince Edward in the bath
19:18He's actually quite interested
19:19He's made himself
19:20A mock beard
19:22From the foam suds
19:23Quite suits him
19:25Believe me, Alan
19:26I obtained some photos
19:29That were frankly unpublishable
19:30And are they in the book?
19:32Yes, they are
19:32OK
19:35We've sat and listened to you
19:37Present yourself
19:38With great eloquence
19:40But
19:41Ladies and gentlemen
19:42Lawrence has unwittingly
19:45Stumbled into a new section
19:46Of my show
19:47Called
19:47Eat Your Own Medicine
19:48Lawrence
19:50For the past four weeks
19:52For the past four weeks
19:52You have been under surveillance
19:54From our team of
19:55Knowing Me Knowing You snoopers
19:56This is what we discovered
19:58Show the clip
19:59Take a look at this
20:01It's a disabled parking space
20:03Hello, who's this parking in it?
20:05It's a big Jaguar
20:06Containing able-bodied
20:08Lawrence Knowles
20:09It's quite a nice car there
20:12There you go
20:13You get out of the car
20:14Look around
20:16Little pick of the nose
20:18It's a good one
20:19Pop it in the mouth
20:20Is that the best you've got, Alan?
20:25No, that was merely an hors d'oeuvre
20:27Let's have a look at the main course
20:30Here you are again
20:31Emerging from an anonymous-looking black door
20:34Another treat for Lawrence Knowles there
20:38I give you this
20:40You certainly keep your nose clean
20:41But the question is
20:43What's going on behind the door?
20:45I'll tell you
20:46Dermatology
20:47Oh, come on, Alan
20:48This is pathetic
20:49Ludicrous
20:50Is it?
20:51Is it as ludicrous
20:52As a man with such a grotesque, hairy back
20:55That he has to visit a dermatologist
20:56Once of his six weeks
20:57To have his unsightly
20:59And innumerable hairs removed?
21:01Alan, this is a non-story
21:02The public are not interested in my back
21:05Aren't they?
21:06Let's ask them
21:07Would you like to know more
21:09About Lawrence's hairy back?
21:12Yes!
21:14There's your answer, mate
21:15Bring on my big pocket right now
21:19Bring it on
21:19Will you please come out of my pocket
21:28Lawrence Knowles' dermatologist
21:31Clive Seeley
21:32Clive
21:41Clive
21:44Just how hairy is Lawrence's back?
21:48It's very hairy, Alan
21:49I mean
21:50This is the amount of hair
21:52You'd find on an averagely haired back
21:54Yeah?
21:54Right
21:54And this
21:55This is the amount collected
21:58At last session with Lawrence
22:00I mean, it's enough to cover
22:01Twelve small children
22:03This is
22:04Knowing me
22:05Knowing you
22:06With Alan Partridge
22:07Smooth as an eel
22:08Except
22:10Except in the normal areas
22:11Unlike Dave Lee Travis
22:14Hairy cornflake
22:15Now, the gnoll's back
22:19Is surely
22:20His Achilles heel
22:22How deep are the scars?
22:25Well, during the sessions
22:27He's told me lots of the names
22:28That he was called at school
22:30Oh, good
22:30What are they?
22:31Uh, wolfman
22:33Monkey boy
22:34Godzilla
22:36King Kong
22:37Human carpet?
22:38Yes
22:39Yes
22:39Gas the gorilla
22:40Actually, in the office
22:42We had a bit of fun
22:42Earlier on
22:43We've just come up with a list
22:45Of potential nicknames
22:47For Lawrence
22:47I'll go through them
22:48Very quickly
22:48Kiwi fruit
22:50Moth banquet
22:52Quite an interesting one
22:53Furball XL5
22:56Billy Furry
22:59That's
23:00Billy Fury
23:01With a different pronunciation
23:02That's mine
23:02And of course
23:05Hairy Krishna
23:06Lawrence
23:08Lawrence, anything to say?
23:10You'll be hearing from my solicitor in the morning
23:12Oh, a bit prickly
23:13Or should I say hairy?
23:17I have the same solicitor as Dave Lee Travis
23:19Big deal
23:20And Roger Moore
23:21Oh, God
23:22Lawrence Knowles and Clive Seeley
23:26Nice kind of spunt, that
23:36Now
23:38Snell, schnell
23:40Achtung, Sieg Heil
23:42Jawohl
23:42Those are just some of the comments
23:45Shouted at my next guest
23:47At the 1936 Berlin Olympics
23:50Why?
23:50Because she won gold medal for Britain
23:52In the 4x100 metres
23:54Women's hurdles relay
23:56She doesn't run anymore
23:58She's 78
23:59But she can still get up and down stairs
24:02Unassisted
24:02And refuses to use the Ronstadt chairlift
24:05Installed by our son-in-law in 1991
24:07Please welcome the Linford Christie
24:09Of great-grandmothers
24:10Elsie Morgan
24:11Knowing me, Alan Partridge
24:28Knowing you, Elsie Morgan
24:29Uh-huh
24:30No, you wait till I've said it
24:31Uh-huh
24:33Uh-huh
24:34That's right
24:35Elsie, let me start by saying
24:37How wonderful it is
24:39To, at last, have someone old on the show
24:41The 1936 Berlin Olympics
24:46What did it feel like to run past the finishing line
24:50Knowing you'd just beaten the German
24:51And won the gold medal for Britain
24:53Thrilling
24:54Because we'd stitched up the krauts
24:56Is it true?
25:00Were things better in the olden days?
25:03Well, immediately after the war
25:05It was absolutely marvellous
25:06Because that time
25:07We really had
25:08Completely stitched up the krauts
25:10But then, after that
25:15Everything got very much worse
25:17And there was a lot of immigration
25:20And inevitably crime went up
25:24Right
25:24But there must have been some positive things
25:29I'll tell you a little story
25:30Please do
25:31I brought my car in last week
25:34And parked it on one of those meters
25:36I went into Debenhams
25:39Very quickly, I came out
25:40Very quickly again
25:41And there was an awful man
25:43Writing me a parking ticket
25:45I said to him
25:47Now, is it reasonable
25:48To give me a parking ticket
25:50For two minutes?
25:51Well, after a while
25:52He saw sense
25:54And admitted that it was a bit silly
25:56And he let me off
25:57Good for him
25:57Yes, but
25:58After I got home
26:00I thought
26:00That man let me break the law
26:04He shouldn't have done that
26:10No
26:10So I rang his employers
26:13And told them
26:13What had happened
26:14And later on
26:17They rang me back
26:19And I was delighted to hear
26:20They dismissed him
26:21Good riddance
26:24Particularly as he was black
26:26Right
26:26Right
26:27They bend the rules
26:29Tell us about sports
26:30They don't play by our rules
26:32Don't you find that
26:33Right, shut up
26:34You can't say those things
26:37On television
26:38Not anymore
26:38Why not?
26:40Shut it
26:40Now, now, Elsie
26:50I've got
26:52I've got a surprise for you
26:53Because it's time once again
26:55To dip into Alan's big pocket
26:57And it's a pocket full of emotion
27:07Because tonight
27:08We reunite Britain's hurdling golden girls
27:11Of 1936
27:13They haven't seen each other
27:14For over 50 years
27:15Sadly, Lindsay Farrow
27:17Who ran the second leg
27:18Is no longer with us
27:18But the other two are
27:20Will you please come out of my big pocket
27:23Anne Wiley and Georgina Clark
27:26Knowing me
27:42Alan Parches knowing you
27:44Anne Wiley
27:44Knowing me
27:47Alan Parches knowing you
27:48Georgina Clark
27:49Hello
27:51Hello
27:52Hello
27:53Thank you
27:54Now, you're obviously
27:56All feeling very emotional
27:58If you feel the need to weep
28:00Please do do so
28:02You are women
28:02No tears
28:07No
28:08I've got to say
28:09I was kind of banking on it
28:10It's all right
28:12Can I just remind you
28:13You haven't seen each other
28:14For over 50 years
28:15Oh, no
28:15No
28:16We saw one another
28:17Six months ago
28:18Where?
28:20Sky Television
28:21Yes, it was a programme
28:23That reunited people
28:25Called Nostalgia
28:26With Dave Lee Travis
28:28Oh, believe it
28:29He's done it again
28:30Did you cry on his show?
28:32Oh, yes
28:33Oh, yes
28:33Crockett
28:34Oh, great
28:34Even David cried
28:36Oh, I don't believe it
28:37The hairy cornflakes
28:38Shed a tear
28:39Doesn't matter
28:41Doesn't matter
28:42Let's talk about the race
28:441936
28:46In those days
28:48How did you cope
28:48With the pressure?
28:50Well, I used to sing
28:52In the dressing room
28:52Oh, you'd sing
28:53We'll gather lilacs
28:55Oh
28:55Probably forgotten memory now
28:57Oh, no
28:58We'll gather lilacs
29:01In the spring
29:02Again
29:04And walk together
29:07I'll gather down an English lane
29:11When you come home once more
29:16And in the evening
29:18In the twilight glow
29:22I'll hold you close
29:24And never let you go
29:27We'll gather lilacs
29:31Of free again
29:33And walk together
29:36Marvellous, marvellous
29:37Give it a round of applause
29:38Marvellous
29:39Lovely, lovely
29:40Great
29:41That was, uh
29:42That was lovely
29:43Well, at
29:45At this stage of the show
29:47Some of my viewers
29:48May be thinking
29:49Alan
29:50You're a liar
29:52You promised that this show
29:54Would be hot
29:55And now you're chatting
29:56To three senior citizens
29:57What?
29:58If I said
29:59I am now going to
30:00Jump into a TARDIS
30:01Go back in time
30:02And recreate
30:03The Berlin Olympics
30:04With these three old women
30:05You would say
30:06Alan, that is hot
30:08We were wrong earlier
30:09Well, that's exactly
30:11What I'm going to do
30:12Ladies, will you now
30:14Please join me
30:15In my one to six scale
30:16Berlin Olympic Stadium
30:18You join us live
30:38At the Berlin Olympics
30:39On grandstand
30:40In 1936
30:42On this pleasant
30:43Summer's morning
30:44In Nazi Germany
30:45Everyone's here
30:48Hitler's in his box
30:49Jesse Owens
30:50Just waved at him
30:51He doesn't like that
30:52And we wait for the race
30:54To start
30:55I'm just going to
30:56I'm going to fire a gun
30:57It's quite loud
30:58Don't let it
30:58Let it worry you
30:59Alright?
30:59Okay
30:59On your marks
31:00Get set
31:01She's off
31:03She's off
31:03Like a bullet
31:04Anne Wiley
31:05Fast as a bullet
31:06From a Luger
31:07Courses ahead
31:08Coming up to the first hurdle
31:10She's cleared it
31:11She's cleared it
31:12Landing like a tomcat
31:13And off again
31:15Off again round the bend
31:17And puts the bat on
31:19Over the candidate
31:19To Lindsay Farrell
31:20Sadly no longer with us
31:21She's represented
31:22By a cardboard cutout
31:24It's a
31:27It's a clean pass
31:29Let's see what you're made of
31:31Georgie girl
31:32Put some egg on
31:33Hitler's face
31:34Just kick that love
31:35Kick that over
31:35Oh dear
31:36The hurdle has fallen
31:37It's all down
31:39To Elsie
31:40Elsie Morgan
31:41Can she do it?
31:43And she has
31:43She's won the gold
31:44Ladies and gentlemen
31:49The golden hurdlers
31:50Of 36
31:51Hi
32:02I'm in Alan's
32:04Big pocket
32:05Why?
32:06Because I'm getting undressed
32:07The reason I'm taking
32:10My clothes off
32:11Is because hot pants
32:12Are about to come on
32:13And raise the roof
32:14Of TV centre
32:15With their lovely legs
32:16Then they're going to
32:17Join me in the jacuzzi
32:19Glenn have you seen
32:20Them before?
32:21No, but I'm looking
32:22Forward to seeing them
32:23Glenn, that is my noise
32:26Get your own sound
32:27Move the pocket
32:30Yes, I am in a jacuzzi
32:34Sipping sprund
32:35It's almost as if
32:37I'm in an advert
32:38But of course I'm not
32:40I'm not in an advert
32:41It simply remains for me
32:43To thank my guests
32:44And welcome on
32:46From the four gorgeous figures
32:48That fill
32:49Hot pants
32:52You say
32:52Thanks for jaws
32:53Hit her
32:53Didn't you know
32:54Get your own sound
32:55To see her
32:56I work for you
32:57To see her
32:58With your face
32:59To see her
32:59Come on
33:00You say
33:00To see her
33:00As if
33:00You say
33:01You say
33:01You say
33:02You say
33:02You say
33:02I oui
33:03If you say
33:03Maybe you say
33:04You say
33:04You say
33:05You say
34:06And they're men!
34:12They're men!
34:15And on that bombshell!
34:17On that bombshell!
34:19Good night!
34:20Aha!
34:22Splunt!
34:23Splunt!
Be the first to comment