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00:00Ich bin Alph und bin auf der Erde. Ich kann nicht zurückkehren, zu meinem Platz auf der Erde.
00:10Ich mache das beste für eine schlechte Situation. Ich denke, es ist wie ein Extended-Vacation.
00:15Ja!
00:17Ich bin hier nicht nur für Probleme, ich bin hier nur für die Alien-Shuffle.
00:23Take it, Lynn!
00:24Well, how do you do? My name is Lynn. I'm doing some rapping with an Alien.
00:32He's kind of short, a little bit furry. I'd rap some more, but I'm in a hurry.
00:37Good, good. Hey, look who's here. His name is Willie. Come rap with us. Let's all get silly.
00:48I'd love to, Alph, but I've got to get ready. I just wanted to tell Lynn that her mother needed her.
00:54That isn't even close to rhyming.
00:58I wasn't trying.
01:00Alph, you can come out now if you want.
01:03Hey, Willie, come here. Listen to this. Let me know when this gets irritating, okay?
01:11Now, now!
01:12It's irritating almost at once.
01:15What was that?
01:17Melmachian mating call. Like it?
01:19It's charming.
01:20Does it have any effect?
01:22Oh, Maxim unconscious.
01:24I'd better go. I'm beginning to feel faint.
01:29Alph, while we're gone, I trust you won't be getting into any mischief.
01:35You do?
01:36Not really.
01:37But we gotta go.
01:40Come on, come on, come on.
01:49Out of there.
01:50Out of there.
01:51What?
01:51Oh, jeez. I never do anything right.
01:54Oh, my God.
02:05We gotta go.
02:06Mm hmm.
02:09Big grud.
02:10We gotta go.
02:12We gotta go.
02:13Yeah.
02:13We gotta go.
02:15We gotta go.
02:16gently.
02:17Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
02:47Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
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04:12Will you please keep it down?
04:22Yeah, Willie, have some consideration.
04:26Alf, Alf, this is a very important show.
04:29I know, it's the semifinals.
04:31I'm not talking about the Wheel of Fortune, I'm talking about the Nutrition Follies.
04:35Brian's School Pageant.
04:36Now, if you don't mind, boning the salmon.
04:43There you go, Alf.
04:45Where's the head?
04:46Give that to me.
04:48You're not to eat boned salmon in the living room.
04:51Fine.
04:52Who wants it without the head anyway?
04:55Brian, come here for a minute.
04:56I made some changes in the song.
04:57I think this is going to be a lot easier for you.
04:59Let me show you.
05:01Asparagus, asparagus, put it on your table.
05:06Asparagus, asparagus, will make you feel more able.
05:10I like that Mabel.
05:13Forget it, kid.
05:14You're spitting in the wind.
05:16Uh, uh, let's try on your costume.
05:19It's too thin.
05:20No, I made you a new one.
05:21This one's smaller.
05:22Come on, let's see how it looks.
05:24Hop in there.
05:25There you go.
05:26There!
05:26You are an official asparagus.
05:29What do you think?
05:30Oh, Brian, you look so cute.
05:33You're going to make a great celery stalk.
05:35He's an asparagus.
05:37Oh.
05:38I'd rather be a celery stalker.
05:41All right, everyone.
05:43Uh, we've just got a few minutes now before the last rehearsal.
05:46So, Brian, why don't you and I run over the song before Spencer gets here?
05:49I stink.
05:50Spencer says so.
05:52Oh, what do you care what Spencer says?
05:55Because he laughs at me and makes me forget the words.
05:58I don't like him.
05:59He's mean.
06:00Oh, Brian, that's not really, that's not fair.
06:03I'm sure Spencer has some very fine qualities.
06:06That's not what you said last night.
06:08Well, maybe an unkind word slipped in here or there.
06:13Willie, you said the kid was fungus.
06:17I did not.
06:19Even if I did, that's not the point.
06:21What was the point?
06:24The point is moat.
06:25The little fungus is here now.
06:27Oh, really?
06:28Right.
06:29Come on, Al.
06:30Yeah, I know.
06:3186, the alien.
06:33Let's go to my room.
06:37What about the salmon?
06:39Forget about the salmon.
06:41Forgotten.
06:45Why would anyone throw away the head?
06:50Remember, Brian, don't let Spencer get to you.
06:53I'll try.
06:57Hi there, Spencer.
06:58Look what I got from my dad.
07:00Dr. Potato Famine.
07:02Wow.
07:02Did I look at it?
07:04No way.
07:04You might wreck it.
07:06From your father, eh, Spencey?
07:08Back in town again?
07:09No, Zurich.
07:10His secretary sent this to me.
07:12But he told her to.
07:14Spencer, why don't we try on our costume and we'll get started?
07:18Where is it?
07:19It's right over here.
07:19You call that an asparagus?
07:23It looks like a zucchini.
07:26Uh, why don't we rehearse first and then we'll try on the costumes, okay?
07:30Okay.
07:31But nobody touched this.
07:33It's very expensive.
07:35I'll guard it with my life.
07:36Here's some material I've worked on to open up the act.
07:41Oh, what act?
07:42Well, I thought I'd tell some jokes to laven things up.
07:45Always open with comedy.
07:47You close with a song.
07:48Brian, uh, you want to come over here?
07:50We'll try this.
07:50Let's see if you get away this time.
07:58Okay.
07:59Asparagus?
08:02Asparagus are long and green and good for you to eat.
08:09We'll make your body strong and meek.
08:12Get up.
08:14Our flavor can't be a...
08:16Beat, beat.
08:17Can't you remember anything?
08:19Hey.
08:19Leave me alone.
08:21Look, guys, this is something that we're trying to do.
08:24We're trying to do this together.
08:25This takes a lot of cooperation.
08:28Let's try right at the refrain.
08:31Let me just do this for you.
08:33Asparagus, asparagus, put us on your table.
08:38Asparagus, asparagus, we'll make you feel more able.
08:43What happened to I'm able?
08:44I changed it.
08:45You changed it?
08:47I changed it.
08:48I think this has more impact.
08:51You see, nobody knows who I'm able to do.
08:53This is the way we're doing it, and that's it.
08:56Asparagus, asparagus, put us on your table.
09:06Yeah, yeah.
09:07Asparagus, asparagus, we'll make you feel like Mabel.
09:11Oh, I can't work with him.
09:14No, Spencer, I'm sorry.
09:16I don't think that jokes about your ex-wife will work.
09:19No, no priests, no rabbis, and no ministers.
09:24No, Spencer, the song stays as it is.
09:26Hey, everybody, it's almost showtime.
09:32Everybody ready?
09:32Just about.
09:33Come on, Brian, here's your costume.
09:35I don't want to go.
09:37Brian, honey, it'll be a lot of fun.
09:41All your friends will be there?
09:43Yeah, they need you.
09:44Nobody needs asparagus.
09:46Ahem, uh, William, may I have a word with the boy?
09:51Alf, he's our son, and we'll handle this, all right?
09:56Fine.
09:57I'm a dot on the horizon.
10:01Brian, I know that Spencer bothers you,
10:04but you can't let that stop you.
10:05Now, 10, 20 years from today,
10:08nobody will remember the nutrition follies,
10:11but you will remember that you went out there,
10:13you were the best asparagus you could be.
10:15I don't care.
10:17I don't want to do it.
10:18I'm scared.
10:19Brian, lots of famous people get stage fright
10:21before they have to sing.
10:23I read somewhere once that Rod Stewart
10:24seizes up with stomach cramps and hyperventilates.
10:27Lynn.
10:28I'll wait in the car.
10:30So if you really, really don't want to sing,
10:33then, uh, we'll just sit in the audience and watch.
10:36We'll take your costume,
10:37just in case you change your mind.
10:39Okay?
10:40Let's get in the car.
10:41Oh, good.
10:46You solved it without me.
10:47Yes, we managed to fumble through.
10:50So, uh, Brian, you gonna sing?
10:53Not exactly, but, uh, we are going.
10:57So you blew it.
10:59Listen, uh, I think I've got a fix on the kid's problem.
11:03Mind if I talk to him alone for a minute?
11:05Just, uh, keep it short.
11:08Come on over here, pal.
11:11We'll be in the car, Brian.
11:14We are pals, aren't we?
11:16Yeah.
11:17So what's the problem?
11:19It's that Spencer guy, isn't it?
11:22Well, let me tell you a little story
11:24about a guy who had the same problem you did.
11:28A guy named Gordon.
11:31Who's he?
11:31Someone I grew up with on Melmac.
11:34Nice kid.
11:36Handsome.
11:38Intelligent.
11:39Great athlete.
11:41Wonderful sense of humor.
11:43Ha!
11:44It was you, wasn't it?
11:46How'd you guess?
11:47Anyway, I was doing a little dinner...
11:49Your name's really Gordon?
11:51Yeah, Gordon.
11:53That's funny.
11:54It was my mother's maiden name, all right?
11:56Son.
11:57Anyway, back on Melmac,
11:59I was in a little dinner theater production of
12:02Man of La Mancha.
12:03I was playing Sancho Panza.
12:06It was opening night.
12:08There was a full house.
12:10I was about to sing my first number
12:12when suddenly I froze.
12:15I was like this.
12:18Yeah.
12:19Your name is really Gordon?
12:22Just go with me on this, okay?
12:25I'm up there.
12:26I'm frozen.
12:27Listen, I can't remember my opening number.
12:30The audience was getting hostile.
12:32They were ready to start throwing breadsticks at me
12:34when the guy who played Don Quixote
12:37pulled me aside
12:38and gave me this good luck charm.
12:41A tooth?
12:42Yeah.
12:44His 124-year molar.
12:46Did it bring you good luck?
12:48Ha!
12:48You bet!
12:49I got through my song,
12:51plus the impossible dream,
12:53and every other song in the show.
12:54For an encore,
12:56I even did a couple of numbers from Gypsy.
13:00Yeah, but will it work on asparagus songs?
13:04No problem.
13:05Don Quixote says the tooth works on vegetables, too.
13:10Look, just stick that in your back pocket,
13:13and you'll go out there and knock them dead.
13:16Great, I will.
13:17Thanks, Gordon.
13:25Don't worry, kid.
13:27You'll be swell.
13:33Oh, no.
13:36Brian!
13:40Hello?
13:41Jackrabbit Delivery Service?
13:43Yeah, I'm looking at your ad in the Yellow Pages.
13:46How would you feel about delivering a tooth to an asparagus?
13:52Hello?
13:53Hello?
13:57Yes.
13:58Yes, indeed.
13:59Let's hear it for the two garlics.
14:07Now we'll take a short break while we air out the stage.
14:10Hey, guys.
14:13Come on.
14:13Come on, we follow the garlics.
14:15It's good.
14:16What's gone?
14:17My lucky tooth.
14:18I can't go out there.
14:19Whoa, whoa, whoa.
14:19Whoa, what lucky tooth?
14:21The one that else gave me for courage.
14:24Next on our entertainment menu,
14:25a treat from our friends in the vegetable family,
14:28I give you the asparagus.
14:32All right, Spencer.
14:33I want you to go out there.
14:34I want you to do those jokes.
14:36Oh, boy.
14:37My big break.
14:40Okay, Brian, I'm just, um, I'm trying to understand
14:43about this tooth business.
14:45Hello?
14:46Uh, listen, I need a cab here as soon as possible.
14:50Yeah, uh, 167 Hemdale.
14:52It's an unassuming house that needs a paint job.
14:56Uh-huh.
14:57Uh, you'll be going to the Franklin Elementary School.
15:00How many passengers?
15:02None.
15:02Just a tooth.
15:03Hello?
15:06Hello?
15:07A kill-off's in the principal's office
15:09with the duck on his head.
15:11The principal says,
15:12My gosh, how did this happen?
15:14The duck says,
15:15I don't know.
15:16It started to grow up on my foot.
15:19What's wrong?
15:21It wasn't funny.
15:23No.
15:24I mean, where's Brian?
15:25Why isn't he out there?
15:26What is this, an audience or an oil painting?
15:29Brian, no matter how special Don Quixote's tooth may be,
15:35you can't count on something like that to give you courage.
15:37Why not?
15:38Because courage doesn't come from some thing.
15:41Courage comes from inside.
15:44From, from in you.
15:45If you can sing with a lucky charm,
15:48you can sing without one.
15:49My teacher's so old for social security numbers and Roman numerals.
15:54But what if I mess up, Dad?
15:55No, you won't mess up, son.
15:58And, and even if you do,
16:00it doesn't matter.
16:01The important thing is that you go out there and give it your best shot.
16:06May your daughters may substitute teachers.
16:08But what about Spencer?
16:12What about me?
16:13I just bond.
16:14Meets us and hates me.
16:15They don't hate you, Spencer.
16:17I think they just don't understand comedy.
16:22Spencer, you're crying.
16:24No, I'm not.
16:26I was standing too close to the onions.
16:33Look, I'm going to introduce a vegetable out there.
16:35Now, is it going to be green or red?
16:38Well, what's it going to be, guys?
16:40I'm not going.
16:41You aren't?
16:42No, I'm scared.
16:44You are?
16:45Yeah.
16:46I don't think I can even remember the words of song.
16:50What you say,
16:52asparagus are long and green
16:54and good for you to eat.
16:57And I say,
16:59make your body strong and lean.
17:02Our flavor can't be beat.
17:04Oh, yeah.
17:05Right, Dad?
17:07All right.
17:09I think you better introduce the asparagus.
17:12Are they?
17:14I don't know.
17:16But I'm going back there.
17:18Okay, here we go.
17:20Sit down, lady.
17:20And now, at long last,
17:24the asparagus.
17:25Come on, you can do it.
17:30Come on, you can do it.
17:47Hello.
17:48Bye-bye travel?
17:49Uh, yeah.
17:50Yeah, when's your next flight to Hawaii?
17:53Oh, perfect.
17:54Good.
17:55Uh, listen.
17:56On the way to the islands,
17:57you think we could stop at the Franklin Elementary School?
18:01Hello?
18:02Hello?
18:02Hello?
18:03So when you're in the store,
18:15just take this tip from us,
18:18by a spirit guide.
18:22All right, Brian.
18:36Guess it's up to me.
18:38Yeah.
18:38I don't know what's the way you said.
18:43Hey, Alf.
18:44Alf?
18:45What are you doing in that costume?
18:48Uh, uh, my uncle died.
18:52Alf, I did it.
18:53I sang my song.
18:55You did?
18:56Without the lucky tooth.
18:57He was great.
18:58He was the best vegetable up there.
19:00Yeah, you see,
19:01courage doesn't come from a tooth.
19:03It comes from an ear.
19:05That's close enough.
19:07But thanks, anyway.
19:10Yeah, come on, Brian.
19:13Come on, let's get ready for bed.
19:18Brian, we were great.
19:23Well, uh,
19:24I'm glad the kid did so well.
19:27I guess I'll go change.
19:28It's getting hot in here.
19:32Alf?
19:34Yes?
19:38I don't think your uncle really died, did he?
19:41Then who did we bury?
19:44I think that you were gonna sneak out
19:46and, uh, bring Brian that tooth, weren't you?
19:49I wasn't gonna sneak.
19:51I was going to hotwire a car.
19:54Whatever.
19:56You were very concerned about Brian.
19:58I think...
20:00I think that was very sweet.
20:03You, uh...
20:04You want to hug me, don't you?
20:08Maybe we could start with a handshake.
20:11Deal.
20:18I feel ridiculous.
20:20No.
20:26No.
20:33No.
20:37No.
20:38Untertitelung des ZDF für funk, 2017
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