00:00Sometimes, some crimes go slipping through the cracks
00:11But these two dumb shoes are picking up the slack
00:17There's no case too big, no case too small
00:20When you need help just call
00:23Ch-ch-ch-chip and nails
00:25Rescue Rangers
00:26Ch-ch-chip and nails
00:28When they're danger
00:29No, no, it never fails
00:31Once they're involved
00:33Somehow, whatever's wrong gets solved
00:36Ch-ch-chip and nails
00:37Rescue Rangers
00:39Ch-ch-chip and nails
00:41When they're danger
00:42No, no, it never fails
00:44They'll take the move
00:46And find the ways it was
00:48Ch-ch-chip and nails
00:51Rescue Rangers
00:52Ch-ch-chip and nails
00:54When they're danger
00:55Ch-ch-chip and nails
00:59Postcard for the rescue Rangers
01:11That's us!
01:12Look at ya!
01:12We should call these poster cards, not postcards
01:19Hey gang, look it!
01:21Somebody sent us a poster card
01:23Who is it from?
01:24Canina Lafur, listen
01:26Hello my little darlings
01:28I'm filming on location in a foreign country
01:30You must come at once
01:31I'm in extreme danger
01:33Help!
01:35They're trying to kill me!
01:36Signed, Canina Lafur, star of stage screen and an occasional dog food commercial
01:40Poor Canina, we've got to go help her
01:43Hold on, pallies
01:45The last time Canina said she was in danger
01:48She lost her tap shoes
01:50But Monty, that turned out to be a big case
01:53Alright, but this better not be a wild poodle chase
01:57The border crossing should be dead ahead
02:06Welcome to taxidermia, buckos!
02:10Hey, listen, I don't hear any more birds
02:12And you won't be hearing any either
02:15Animals don't make noise in this country
02:17They're too afraid
02:18Afraid of what?
02:19Hunters!
02:20They have legal hunting here all year round
02:22So do most places
02:24Yeah, but here the prey changes by the hour
02:27Round here Groundhog Day takes on new meaning
02:30Guess what season it is now
02:35Come back here, you runaway soup mix
02:38Well, what do you know?
02:42It's Wild Bill Hiccup, the best hunter in the world
02:45Is it much farther to Canina's studio?
02:47Just a kangaroo skipping a jump up this river
02:54I've got a bone to pick with you
03:01About the bones you pick for me
03:03If I'm truly man's best friend
03:06Then feed me food that's quality
03:09And I say wow to the chow that's in bow-wow chow
03:14I say yay, hip hooray
03:17When it's in my tray
03:18I say yay, hip hooray
03:21Oh my gosh
03:23Canina's about to kick in
03:24Grab hold, Canina
03:28Oh, oh, champ
03:32Dale, thank goodness you're here
03:34The set almost sat on me
03:36You weren't kidding when you said they were trying to kill you
03:39Who would do such a thing?
03:42Only one mutt could be so cruel
03:44Canina
03:46Canina, Canina darling
03:48It was awful, horrible darling
03:51Are you alright?
03:52Are you goulash?
03:53You should sue
03:54Oh, I know they shouldn't have let a star like you
03:57Do such a dangerous scene
03:59It should have been me out there
04:02You'd like that, wouldn't you?
04:06Oh, excuse me
04:07These are my friends, the rescue rangers
04:09They saved my life
04:11Oh, thank you darling, thank you
04:15I just don't know what I'd do
04:17If anything ever happened to Miss Lafer
04:19Ja-ja, on the set
04:21Here, girl
04:22Well, time for another take
04:26Bye-bye, darlings
04:28Who's that sweet pooch?
04:30Come into my dressing trailer
04:32And I'll tell you
04:33She's Ja-ja Labrador
04:35My stand-in
04:36She's the one trying to kill me
04:38Come on now
04:40Seems like a sweet enough pooch to me
04:42That fallen set was just an accident
04:44Listen here, housey-mousey
04:47That was no accident
04:48And neither were the other incidents
04:50What accident, incidents?
04:54Strange things started happening
04:55The first day of rehearsals
04:57Excuse me, Miss Lafer
05:02I'm your new stand-in
05:05I just wanted to stop by and tell you
05:07I've admired you
05:09Since I was the runt of my litter
05:11Why, thank you
05:12I've been a fan for years and years
05:16How sweet
05:16And years and years
05:18Oh, you're too kind
05:19And years
05:20Okay, I get the point
05:22Someday, I hope to be as good an actress as you
05:25I'm going to work like a dog
05:27To learn all your brilliant techniques
05:30Well, you can try
05:32But what I have only comes around once in a lifetime
05:36I put on my best diamond flea collar
05:39And started for the set
05:41Where I was doing an occasional dog food commercial
05:45Let me out
05:49I'm trapped
05:50It was just like a movie I did years ago
05:54Called
05:55Whatever happened to baby Great Dane
05:58I played this dog in a wheelchair
06:00Blanche Husky
06:01Whose evil sister kept her trapped upstairs
06:04And
06:04Okay, we get the point
06:06Just tell us how you got out of your dressing trailer
06:08Well, Mortimer
06:10The point of the story isn't how I got out
06:12It's who locked me in
06:13It had to be Zsa Zsa
06:15She was the last one to leave
06:17Good thing you're an actress
06:19Because you can never sell that flimsy story to Hollywood
06:22I don't know, Marty
06:23What else happened, Kanina?
06:25Well, a few days later
06:27I was doing another of those occasional dog food commercials
06:30When?
06:31Okay, Kanina girl
06:32I want you to dance up the stairs
06:34Then leap atop the Bow Wow Chow dog food can
06:37Got it?
06:38Good girl
06:41Ready?
06:46And
06:47Action
06:48Well, I was doing a mean flat paw chain
06:55When suddenly someone short-circuited my act
06:59Kanina, are you alright girl?
07:14Oh darling, what has happened?
07:19This is tragic, awful, terrible, horrible
07:22You should sue
07:23But, in the meantime
07:25I'll have to stand in for you, darling
07:27I'm afraid you're right, Zsa Zsa
07:30We'll have to let you fill in while Kanina recovers
07:33Now, now, now, now, Kanina
07:37You just relax
07:38Ben!
07:39Well, I find it suspicious that my stand-in was so eager to stand in
07:53You must help me
07:55She's out to get rid of me, I know it
07:58No, I'm out to get you
08:00For dragging me halfway around the world for no good reason
08:03It was probably just bad wiring on the set
08:06Now, wait, Monterey
08:07If Zsa Zsa is up to something, we'd better find out
08:11So long, dearie
08:30It's Zsa Zsa again
08:33Hey, come back with that dressing trailer
08:38Kanina Lafur's being dog-napped
08:41I've never done a chasing
08:45Quick, where's my stand-in?
08:48Wait, it's my stand-in who did me in
08:50I'll have us losing two shakes of a sheep-shake
08:56Up, ladies, up!
09:03Let me hear you
09:04Oh, no, Kanina
09:13She's made the big fade out
09:16Kanina, you're all right
09:20I thought we'd lost you
09:22You have, darling
09:23For good
09:25Well, Montague
09:36Now, do you believe she's after me?
09:40Monterey
09:41Monterey
09:42We'd better get back to the studio
09:44Who knows what that conniving cur is up to?
09:47Here, kitty-kitty
09:54Looks like it's cat-hunting season
09:56I'm starting to like this country
09:58What say we join the hunt?
10:00After we save my career
10:02Oh, dear
10:08My dogs are killing me
10:10All my years as a hoofer
10:12Never prepared me for such a long walk
10:15Look at this
10:16Everyone's gone
10:17Oh, no
10:19The crew must have finished the commercial and left
10:22Let's get to the airport
10:23Maybe they're still there
10:25Oh, no, that's it
10:32The private studio airplane
10:34They are leaving without me
10:36I, Kanina LaFer, thank the Academy and all the little poochies
10:45You helped me win this Lassie Award for Best Dog Food Commercial of the Year
10:51Yes, that's what I'll save
10:53And I get what should be mine
10:55Hold it, Mutt
10:57Nobody's accepting my award but me
11:00I don't know what you're talking about
11:03I'm Kanina LaFer
11:05I got to the top by stepping on bigger little mutts than you
11:10Ladies, please, break it up
11:16All right, if you won't break it up
11:18At least let me join the fun
11:20Out of my way, rat
11:38Where are you going?
11:40To catch the next plane
11:41This is taxidermia, love
11:45That was the next plane
11:46Crikey, what was that?
11:50An aggressive autograph hound
11:52Running
11:53Hot diggity, there's a pretty little pooch now
11:59I love this country
12:01Fans are fanatic these days
12:07He's no fan, Missy
12:09Look there, it's dog hunting season
12:12Aw, poor poochies
12:14Lucky for me, I'm a star
12:16Tell that to burp and bullets, Bill
12:19Come on, let's get out of here
12:21If I recall, mouse hunting season's next
12:24Yee-haw!
12:26A chase
12:27Quick, in here
12:32This rickety old thing?
12:34Surely you guessed
12:35Maybe you'd like me to book you
12:37On a luxury liner
12:38Oh, would you, dear?
12:41Well, don't just stand there
12:43Cast off
12:44Nicky, does this river lead out of taxidermia?
12:50Yes
12:51And for the last time
12:52My name's Monterey Jack
12:54My friends call me Monny
12:56You can call me Nick
12:58I don't care who you are
13:00Just get me out of this wretched place
13:03It's Kanina LaFur
13:13Tell us, Miss LaFur
13:19Are you nervous about tonight's Lassie Award
13:22For Best Dog Food Commercial?
13:25She's very excited
13:27Now, if you'll excuse her
13:28Kanina must get home
13:29And get groomed
13:30For the ceremony
13:31Oh, rodents
13:41What a dirty, rotten trick
13:43That Zsa Zsa pulled
13:44Locking us in here
13:46We've got to stop her
13:47From getting Kanina's award
13:48Hurry before she gets away
13:50Pistachio!
13:52Why are you slowing down?
13:58Now that we lost a while, Bill
14:00It's time for a cheese break
14:03I'll break your chubby neck
14:04If you don't get me out of here
14:06Now
14:07We're not going anywhere, girly
14:10We'll hide out
14:11Till dog hunting season's over
14:13What?
14:14But the Lassie Awards are tonight
14:16Which would you rather have?
14:19A Lousy Award
14:20Or your head mounted on
14:21Wild Bill's drawing room wall?
14:23My Lousy Award
14:25I haven't been doing these
14:29Occasional dog food commercials
14:31Time and time again
14:33For nothing
14:34I'm going for the gold
14:36Oh dear, which way to go?
14:42Where's my agent
14:43To help with decisions
14:44At times like this?
14:45Let me get up here
14:46What are you doing?
14:52Why did you turn right?
14:54I always exit stage right
14:56It shows my best side
14:57But we're going down
14:59The wrong river
15:00What?
15:01You mean this won't take me home?
15:03Oh, it'll get you home all right
15:05At 26 pieces
15:07This is the amazing river
15:08No one's ever survived it
15:10Uh-oh
15:12Your fed club
15:13Found us again
15:14Yeee
15:15Oh, I'm a gonna pistol
15:17Pop a pooch
15:18Or my name isn't
15:19Wild Bill
15:21There's no tenant back now
15:25But you've got to do
15:29That my career is at stake
15:31Where'd the happy hunter go?
15:40I don't know
15:42I don't know
15:42I don't hear anything
15:43But the river
15:44Are you sure that's the river?
15:47I remember that sound
15:49From a movie I once did
15:50It was one fell over the cuckoo's
15:52D'oh!
15:53D'oh!
15:54D'oh!
15:54D'oh!
15:54D'oh!
15:55D'oh!
15:56Crikey, Humpty Dumpty never took such a fall, are you okay?
16:13I'm fine, I've never done my own stunt before, in fact I think the stunt mods of America are vastly overpaid.
16:23Hey, well I'm in better shape than this boat is though, you're gonna have to work fast to fix it.
16:34Kent, she's a goner!
16:36Then would you mind hailing me a cow?
16:38This isn't Tinseltown, Missy!
16:41I guess this means I won't get back in time for my Lassie Award.
16:47Guess not!
16:48I'll never know the thrill of receiving the highest award given to man's best friend.
16:55I'd like to help, really, but I can't!
16:59I only hope my fans aren't as disappointed as I am.
17:07Alright, I'll see what I can do!
17:09Fine, I'll be over here primping, call me when it's ready.
17:12Yabba!
17:15Well, I'm no gadget, but this is the best I can do.
17:18We can leave as soon as you're finished primping.
17:20Don't worry about me, I can primp while you drive.
17:23Well, not this time. The motor's shot! We'll have to paddle our way back home.
17:27Me? Raw boat? My dear sir, you forget that I'm a star.
17:34How much more do I have to suffer for my hours?
17:40How much further to the border, Merton?
17:43Should be right around the next bend.
17:45Hallelujah, Hollywood! I'd better practice my acceptance speech.
17:52What are we gonna do, Mandango?
17:55Don't ask me!
17:57Faster, Merton, faster! There's the border crossing!
18:01I don't think we can outrun him!
18:03Wait, I do have an idea!
18:06Something I did once in the movie, Thoroughly Modern Calling!
18:10Hasn't your career gotten us in enough trouble already?
18:14Oh, pipe down and get my Oscar ready!
18:18Ah, he got me!
18:24The pain, the suffering, the bad acting!
18:29Everyone's a critic.
18:32Well, slap my chaps! Got me a puny one!
18:35Yip! Ruh!
18:36Oozah!
18:42You saved us, Kanina!
18:44Move it, Maxwell!
18:46You know, for a showbiz mutt, you're a pretty smart cookie!
18:50Why, thank you!
18:52In fact, seeing what you just did reminded me!
18:57I saw that movie you were in!
18:59You were good!
19:01Does this mean you were my fan?
19:03Oh, I suppose it means I've been a fan of yours for years and years!
19:08How kind!
19:09And years and years!
19:12Yes, how sweet!
19:13And years!
19:14Why don't we stop while we still like each other?
19:17T-Roy!
19:18Let's go get your lassie award, love!
19:22Wilders!
19:23Kanina's got quite a place!
19:25I wouldn't mind being sent to the doghouse if it looked like this!
19:28Yeah!
19:29We can get in there!
19:33What absolutely gorgeous colors!
19:36How will I decide?
19:37Maybe this one from Poochiguchi!
19:40There's Zaza's wig!
19:42If we take it, Zaza won't be able to look like Kanina!
19:46Or this one from Barker and Barker of Beverly Hills!
19:51Hey!
19:52Come back here!
19:53Um, here!
19:54Run, Gadget!
19:55Run!
19:56Stop!
19:57How dare you steal what I stole first!
20:00You miserable rodents!
20:02Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and man's best friends
20:05to the 7th Annual Lassie Awards
20:08For best performance by a dog on stage, screen,
20:11or occasional dog food commercial,
20:13the winner is...
20:15Kanina LaFer!
20:19We're too late!
20:20If only we could have gotten out of that box sooner!
20:22Oh, thank you!
20:24First I stole your hearts, now this!
20:30Hold it, Ham Dog!
20:34Two Kaninas!
20:36That's my lassie, you backstabbing Barker!
20:40I thought you'd be mounted on a mantle by now!
20:43No, it's not!
20:44Give it to me!
20:45You couldn't act your way out of the dog pound!
20:47What?
20:48I haven't been treated so badly since I was battered by that gorgeous Beverly Hills dog catcher!
20:55I would like to thank all of my friends who followed me for years and years and years and years...
21:08Wait a minute, what am I saying?
21:11I thought I told these dogs to keep their acceptance marks down to 30 seconds!
21:16But I'd especially like to thank someone very dear to me!
21:20If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here now!
21:24My wonderful little mouse friend, Montgomery Jack!
21:28Oh!
21:29That's Mona Ray!
21:30Mona Ray!
21:31Can't she ever learn her lines?
21:34CARE &
21:40JON&
21:42drums
21:4401
21:4401
21:5901
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22:0001
22:0101
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