I Lent My Best Friend $7,500 & Now We're Both Mad | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 53) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

I Lent My Best Friend $7,500 & Now We're Both Mad | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 53)   "Where Everyday Conversations Lead to Financial Awareness"   Featuring: Wisdom Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | September 9th, 2026   Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Friends" by Jody Watley Featuring Eric B. & Rakim  Released 1989 | Larger Than Life   Burning Questions for Reflections!  When you give money you cannot afford to lose, are you helping someone, or transferring your financial problem into your own future?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Check out my FREE Monthly digital Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   #LerinGaines #FinancialCoach #BlackDiamondConsultations #DebtFreeLiving #WhispersofWisdom #VacationWithMe #BurningQuestions #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #BlackDiamondConsultationsNetwork #411PODCAST #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 PODCAST  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 53: I Lent My Best Friend $7,500 & Now We're Both Mad  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

04:00So grab your journal, open your mind, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

04:06Here, we don't just talk, we transform lives.

04:08And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

04:27What's going on, what's going on, what's going on?

04:42I lent my best friend, I lent my best friend, I lent my best friend, I lent my best friend

04:43$7,500, and now we're both mad.

04:47Now, with that title, with that title, you know that this is going to be a deep show.

04:54So right now, please do it, let me know where you're calling from, share this podcast out, share this podcast

05:07out, text your friend, tag your friends, do whatever you need to do to help keep this momentum going, because

05:14this is going to be deep and we're going to go in tonight.

05:17For one podcast, episode 53, I lent my best friend $7,500, and now we're both mad.

05:27This is a call to action, because you know we're definitely getting ready to go in.

05:32But, before we go ahead and move on, I have to give a very special thank you to my executive

05:38producer.

05:39I want to thank God for another opportunity, another day, to be able to come out here and give you

05:45all the 4-on-1 podcasts.

05:48And I also want to thank each and every one of you out there for all of the love, support,

05:52what's up to people out there on Spotify.

05:54Thank you so much to Facebook. Good morning. I love each and every one of you out there.

06:00All of the new people who have come through, new people on YouTube, I just want to say thank you

06:06so much.

06:07I've even seen people out there. I want to make sure I got this right. Maybe it was iHeartRadio.

06:13It could have been another platform, maybe Amazon.

06:16But the momentum is growing, and I definitely could not do it without each and every one of you.

06:21So, thank you so much for that.

06:25Now, we are getting ready to go in.

06:27This is one of my favorite segments of the show.

06:31So, let's just go ahead and get this done.

06:34Song of the day.

06:44None other than Miss Jodi Watley featuring Eric B and Rakim.

06:49The song is Friends, released off of her album, Larger Than Life, in 1989.

06:57I was nine years old when this came out, and I love this song.

07:01This was like her second single from this album.

07:04And we're going to talk about Friends, because obviously you know what the title is.

07:08I lent my best friend $7,500, and now we're both mad.

07:12So, now let's just take it down when it comes to Friends.

07:16Because we use that word so loosely and so lightly these days.

07:20Everybody is our friend.

07:22We love everybody.

07:23I spoke about this a couple weeks ago, where we just run around saying that we love everybody.

07:28You know, this is my bro.

07:30You know, the whole thing.

07:31Like, Moneybagg Yo said it best.

07:34Stop calling me bro.

07:35You don't even know me.

07:36You barely even know me.

07:37Stop calling me bro.

07:38Everybody's family and all this other good stuff.

07:40That's how we do nowadays.

07:43But Jodi takes us to this.

07:45Have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone you thought was really cool?

07:51Now, let's talk about being stabbed in the back.

07:53Like, because, see, Jodi was letting us know in 89, but there was a group back in the day that

07:59had a song called Backstabbers.

08:02Smile on your face and all the time they want to take your place.

08:05That was the OJs.

08:06And then if we need to bring you up to speed a little bit, my girl Lil' Kim, she did

08:11a remake of it.

08:12And she reminded us of that as well, but more from the street side of it.

08:19Now, we're talking about people smiling in your face and all the time they want to take your place.

08:26So then I have no other choice but to just think about this song called Smiling Faces Sometimes, The Undisputed

08:35Truth.

08:36And then smiling faces sometimes, they don't tell the truth.

08:41So now I'm going on it again because now I got to go to the queen of hip-hop soul.

08:47My girl Miss Mary J. Blige tells us in a song called Telling the Truth.

08:52After all that I've done for you, you're still trying to play me like a fool.

08:56Now, see, that's real deep.

08:57When someone has done something for you, they have gone out on a limb, you know, like Tina Marie, and

09:04you still decide to go ahead and try to play them like a fool.

09:07But see, the truth will set you free.

09:11Come on.

09:13Come on.

09:13I'm hitting y'all with these Mary records.

09:15Set me free.

09:17Now, after someone tried to play you and you realized and you caught them, they may not be telling the

09:26truth.

09:27They might not really be your friend like they say to your friend.

09:30But now you know the truth.

09:33And because of that, the truth will set you free.

09:35And even though Jody Watley told us in 1989 about friends, being careful with friends, if you didn't learn then,

09:45then TLC, they had a song called What About Your Friends?

09:51So we went all the way back to the OJs.

09:56We done had some Lil' Kim thrown in there.

10:01We've had Undisputed Truth.

10:03We've had Mary J. Blige.

10:05We have TLC.

10:07Eric B. and Rakim.

10:09Like, what more do we need to know besides that it doesn't matter what generation it is.

10:17It doesn't matter what decade it is.

10:20These are people.

10:22Queen Latifah has a song called People.

10:24And they're just ordinary people.

10:26And people will go ahead and let you down.

10:29Just like Jody Watley says, friends, sometimes they won't be around when you need them.

10:34So this is why we cannot put our trust in man.

10:39Not saying that you've got to run around not trusting people.

10:42But don't put all your trust in man thinking that that's going to be your savior.

10:46See, there's only one savior.

10:48And sometimes we run around here and we put our trust into these friends.

10:52We put our trust into these jobs.

10:54We put our trust into these situations.

10:55There's people down on a job.

10:57And we think that all of these people truly are our friends.

11:01But in reality, the most disturbing and the most hurtful thing is when we put all of our trust in

11:08this one category.

11:09We put all of our trust in this one bucket.

11:11We put all of our trust in this one situation.

11:14And then these people turn around and do the 180 on us.

11:17And then we all somewhere hurt up because we got all wrapped up and trapped up and got our heartstrings

11:21all up.

11:23Come on now.

11:25Listen, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

11:26I'm only speaking from real life experiences, and I know that it is easier said than done.

11:31But one thing that I will tell you, good miss Mickey Howard.

11:37Shout out to Mickey Howard.

11:39She's one of the first superstars, I would say, you know, superstar to me, who actually embraced the 4-in

11:47-1 podcast.

11:47So shout out to Mickey Howard.

11:50But she basically let it down and let us know that, listen, experience is a good teacher.

11:54See, I can't sit out here and come out here and tell you something and all of a sudden you

11:59get done with this podcast and you're going to go ahead and follow suit.

12:03Sometimes we learn by experience and we have to follow our own path and we have to go down our

12:08own path.

12:09And like Mickey said, experience is a good teacher and it takes someone like me to know.

12:13Well, I've been there before.

12:15And like my girl Mary says, listen, I never claimed to be a genius, but I lived long enough to

12:20see this.

12:21So now when I see these same people come through and I see these same personalities and these same spirits

12:27and these same scenarios that I have lived before.

12:32Listen, I never claimed to be a genius, but I lived long enough to see this and this right here.

12:37Now we're not doing this today.

12:39So be careful with the people that you claim to be your friends.

12:46Because like Jody says, have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone that you thought was really cool?

12:54You've been telling them all of your deepest, darkest secrets.

12:57Y'all been hanging around.

13:00Y'all go there together.

13:01Y'all go there together.

13:03Taking pictures, posting up, doing this, doing that, sharing things.

13:09And all of a sudden somebody wants to stab you in the back.

13:14Man, go listen to that little Kim backstabbers joint if you really need to go ahead and get a little

13:20reminder on this one.

13:23Song of the day, Friends, Jody Watley, 1989, off of her album, Larger Than Life, featuring Eric B and Rakim.

13:44Brace yourself, ladies and gentlemen, because we're getting ready to go in.

13:48I'm going to go ahead and reach out to my friend, author, poet, boardman313.

14:09What's going on?

14:10What's going on?

14:11Hey, how's it going?

14:13It's going good.

14:15I can't complain.

14:16How about you?

14:18Oh, it's going all right, man.

14:20You know, just staying busy like I always try to do.

14:24That's what's up.

14:25I got a question for you.

14:27Yep.

14:29Now, have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone you thought was really cool?

14:34Oh, yeah, man.

14:35Okay, yes, I have.

14:38Yes, yes, yes, yes.

14:41I don't think nobody that's walking around can say that they have.

14:46And it could be.

14:47I don't know.

14:48But most of the people I do know or I have talked with, they all had the same old story.

14:55Different day, but same story.

14:58Yeah.

14:59You remember that joint when it came out?

15:02Yeah.

15:03Yeah.

15:04I was young, so I was just running around the house singing it.

15:08I really didn't know what it was.

15:10But I was young, too.

15:12But still, you know, yes, I remember.

15:15I remember it very well.

15:17Yes.

15:18Good old Jody Watley.

15:20Now, I'm not going to ask you what your favorite record is, because I know you're going to tell me

15:24you don't know.

15:25Man, you know what?

15:26I ain't heard of Jody Watley's song in so long.

15:30I can't even remember.

15:32I knew I liked her, though.

15:33I did.

15:34You know, I liked, you know, her music.

15:37Oh, man.

15:39Now you got me wanting to think of what they were, because there's so many.

15:44But as far as me just picking out, because that's something, I don't know, I don't know why a lot

15:49of people ask me that.

15:50And they say, well, you say, you know, you are always off in the music.

15:53I say, yeah, but it's very few people.

15:57And I say, hey, my favorite, I can't even say I have, they have a favorite out of all the

16:05songs.

16:06But I tell you, I take that back.

16:08It's only one artist that I will say, you know, it's two, Eddie Kendricks and Michael Jackson.

16:14Both of them, I can say, I can tell you exactly which song I liked the best that they did.

16:20Okay.

16:21So I'm going to ask you what it is.

16:24But, you know, Jody Watley, she came from Shallowmore, right?

16:28Yes.

16:29Okay.

16:29So now that we know that, was there a Shallowmore record that comes to mind?

16:34Oh, you know, no, because when they split up, when they split up, that was kind of like, that was

16:42a big controversy when they split up, when they broke apart.

16:47And there was a lot, it was a lot of things that were said, and people didn't know what to

16:56believe.

16:58You know, supposedly, there was some violence involved in it.

17:04So people kind of like, okay, and people just kind of, you know, shied away from Shallowmore because of this

17:15controversy of what actually happened, what did and didn't happen.

17:21I'm going to have to look into that.

17:23All right.

17:23I'm going to have to look into that.

17:25All right.

17:26So now what is the favorite Michael record?

17:29Bad.

17:31Interesting.

17:32Interesting.

17:33Hey, man.

17:34That dance is in my mind all day.

17:37I like, I don't know, that song there.

17:41I'm going to be honest.

17:42When it first came out, I didn't like it.

17:46Went to the club one night, and I'm like, I seen the people getting up.

17:51I'm like, huh, there's something to this.

17:53And from that point on, it was like, yeah.

17:59I like the bass in it.

18:00I guess that has a lot to do with it.

18:02It was the bass.

18:03My favorite joint is Remember the Time.

18:06But if I have to go back to the Jackson 5s era.

18:14Yeah.

18:17Now, why is the song slipping my mind?

18:19But when it comes on.

18:22Now, that don't make no sense, that it just slipped my mind like that.

18:25Don't worry about it, man.

18:26That happens to all of us.

18:28I mean, all the Jack.

18:29When they came, you know what?

18:31The best one from, I ain't going to even say that.

18:35One of them that I really enjoy was Who's Loving You.

18:39Even though Smokey Robinson did it first, Michael just, he just took it and turned it all the way 360,

18:48about nine different ways.

18:51That reminds me of Rose Royce and Mary J. Blige.

18:58Like, once somebody takes the song and does it better than the original.

19:02Okay.

19:03Like Dolly Parton and Whitney Houston.

19:05It's like, you don't think of that as their song anymore.

19:09Because the person who redid it just completely, like, did something to it.

19:14Yeah, because, you know, when, when, when.

19:17You know, and really, I Want You Back was a big hit.

19:21But then people, I mean, I remember people all in the neighborhood, they were saying, hey, have you heard of

19:27Side B?

19:28And that's all everybody talked about.

19:31And when people, you know how DJs used to say, call in and pick out a song.

19:35It was Who's Loving You.

19:37And they said, we can't play that.

19:39And it was because, you know, the industry, you know, Motown and all the executives said, do not play this

19:49song.

19:49Because they, they, they realized it was better than I Want You Back to some.

19:55And one DJ, he did it.

19:57He didn't have a job, man.

19:59They fired him, man.

20:00They fired him for doing that.

20:03Yeah, I remember you telling me that.

20:04Yeah, he was out of Detroit and he played, and he said, he said, the people are asking for this

20:11song every hour.

20:12So he went on and played it.

20:15And he was gone, man.

20:16They fired him.

20:18Okay.

20:18Now, now I got the song.

20:20One of the songs that I really love is, hopefully I got the title right.

20:24Show Me The Way To Go.

20:26Am I saying it right?

20:28Yeah, I know which one you're talking about.

20:31When that, that, that joint come on, then the breakdown come on and, and that breakdown, forget it.

20:40Yeah.

20:40And then, you know, when, then with Eddie Kendricks, it's always going to be just my imagination.

20:45It's always going to be that one.

20:47Okay.

20:47Yeah.

20:48Yeah, you know, and, but I've heard, I've heard it done in a jazz version and I don't know which

20:56jazz version I like, because I don't know if you ever heard of Wayman Tisdale.

21:01You told me about him.

21:03Yeah.

21:03He did it on, or with the bass.

21:06And, and then, um, I want to say it was huge groove that did it.

21:14Yeah.

21:14It was huge groove that did it.

21:16And I enjoy it.

21:18I'm like, wow, man, both of these are hitting, it's hitting just right.

21:22But yeah, you know, Eddie Kendricks, man, that song there won a lot of people in different towns in Michigan.

21:30Again, when they were doing, they had talent, when they had, you know, they had talent show and people sung

21:36that song.

21:37A lot of people won with just that song there.

21:41Now I'm going to speak about that song real quick.

21:44Um, and then I have to actually take a brief break because I forgot to take care of some business.

21:49So I'm going to talk about this, uh, joint, just my imagination.

21:52We would be in a better state as a society, as human beings, if we just went with our imagination.

21:59But we have been tricked and deceived since we were brought into this world, especially in the school system to

22:07think that imagination and daydreaming is a terrible thing to do.

22:14And I'm here to tell you all, ladies and gentlemen, that you should be daydreaming.

22:17You should be focusing on what you want your future to be because you have to see it first in

22:25the spiritual realm.

22:27I know I'm going deep and nor before it shows up in the physical realm.

22:31But yet when we stay in the spiritual realm, when we start to daydream, when we start to get into

22:37our consciousness of that way, you'll have a teacher that'll come by and say, oh, stop daydreaming.

22:42Or you'll have some ignorant parents that'll be like, all you do is sit around and daydream.

22:47No, you should be doing that.

22:49And you should be focusing on the positive things instead of focusing on the negative.

22:54And I'm not even going to get into it anymore because I would go on to a whole nother, no

23:00whole nother tangent.

23:01But yeah, I'm focusing on tapping into that, especially for 2027.

23:06And I'll bring that to the forefront, but I do have to do a real pause real quick and it'll

23:13just be brief and then I'll come right back.

23:16OK, I got to take a break, too.

23:42Now I'm back.

23:43I forgot to handle some business, but it's all taken care of now.

23:48I'm not quite sure if Birdman313 is back yet, but we're going to go ahead and move on with this

23:57and he'll flow right in.

24:00So, ladies and gentlemen, we are headed to St. Louis, Missouri.

24:04Don't worry, we're going to be helping out Miss Tasha.

24:10Birdman, you back yet?

24:12No, he's not back yet.

24:14OK.

24:16I'm here.

24:17I'm here.

24:18I got you.

24:19I got you.

24:19OK, so you're ready.

24:21We're about to go to St. Louis.

24:23Yes.

24:24You've been there before?

24:26St. Louis?

24:27Yeah.

24:28Yeah, I've been there.

24:29I drove through it.

24:30Now, right as you get to where that arch is, the famous arch, there's a McDonald's around that area.

24:36I just remember pulling in there and going to the McDonald's and then leaving.

24:40That was my best recollection of St. Louis.

24:45Yeah, we went by through.

24:47OK.

24:49God, there was a time I was I was doing a project and I decided to do it on my

24:57way to visit family in Michigan.

24:59So I rode the bus never again.

25:02Oh, never.

25:04Really?

25:05Yeah, man.

25:07And we stopped in St. Louis.

25:09And, you know, I'm walking around, taking pictures, shooting videos.

25:14And then something caught my something caught my eyesight.

25:19And I said, OK, it's not too cool to wander too far off.

25:25And I went back to the bus station, man.

25:28It was it was it was a couple of people that was following.

25:30They was watching me.

25:32Oh, yeah.

25:33Yeah.

25:34And I seen him and I seen the guy.

25:37Then I seen his buddy.

25:39And I'm like, yes, I went on back, went on back to the bus station.

25:44And then the one one of them actually he came by the little he came in there and they was

25:48looking because he had be trying to catch passengers, you know, that, you know, getting off the bus or going

25:54to catch the bus.

25:56And I, you know, that's what that caught my eyesight, man.

26:00And I just went on back to the bus station, got me something to eat and sit down, man.

26:07I said, hey, I don't need no more pictures here.

26:14That's where your boy Nelly is from.

26:16Yeah.

26:17Yeah.

26:18Yeah.

26:20All right.

26:21So we won't help out Miss Tasha.

26:23She says, I never thought money would be the reason I stopped speaking to my best friend.

26:29And we've known each other since college.

26:31When she called me last year crying because she was about to lose her apartment, I didn't hesitate.

26:37I transferred her $7,500.

26:39She told me she paid me back within six months.

26:43We didn't sign anything.

26:45We didn't write anything down.

26:47Excuse me.

26:48We didn't sign anything.

26:49We didn't write down a payment schedule.

26:51We didn't even really discuss what would happen if she couldn't pay.

26:55She was my friend.

26:57I trusted her.

26:58Six months came and went.

27:00Nothing.

27:01I didn't say anything at first because I knew she was still struggling.

27:05Then another three months passed.

27:06I finally asked her when she thought she could start paying me back.

27:13She got offended.

27:15She said she thought I helped her because I loved her, not because I expected the money back immediately.

27:22I told her that's not what we agreed to.

27:24She said I was acting like a bank.

27:26I told her she was acting like the money was a gift.

27:30Neither of us walked away feeling understood.

27:33Here's the part I'm embarrassed about.

27:35I need that money.

27:36My emergency fund took a major hit when I helped her out.

27:39Then my transmission went out and I had to put the repair on a credit card.

27:44Now I'm carrying debt because I gave someone else money I couldn't truly afford to give.

27:50Every time I see her post pictures online, I get angry.

27:54She's going to brunch.

27:55She's buying concert tickets.

27:57She's posting weekend trips.

27:59And I'm sitting here wondering why she can't find money for those things but can't send me $100.

28:06Maybe she's still struggling.

28:08Maybe I don't know the whole story.

28:10But I've realized something uncomfortable.

28:12I didn't just lend her money.

28:14I lent her money that belonged to my future.

28:16I wanted to be the friend who saved the day.

28:18Now I'm learning that sometimes being a good friend requires enough honesty to say, I want to help you, but

28:25I can't afford to rescue you.

28:26I don't know how our friendship will survive this, but I do know I'll never handle money this casually with

28:34someone I love again.

28:35How do you protect a relationship when money has already changed the relationship?

28:41Birdman.

28:43Oh, money.

28:44I know I say it wrong, but the way I say it is, the money, it always is always most

28:54friendship bust up behind money.

29:00And, you know, it's sad that, okay, she gave that kind of money away.

29:05See, that lady is lucky she knew her because she'd asked me for that much.

29:10Oh, I don't have it.

29:12You know, I don't care.

29:13You know, you can't help everybody, no matter what they say.

29:20That's what I'm really trying to say.

29:21You can't help everybody, especially when it comes to money like that, because somewhere down the way, they say, I'm

29:30going to pay you back.

29:31If you don't have it in writing, hey, it doesn't mean anything.

29:37Sometimes it doesn't even mean anything if you do have it in writing, because what you're going to do, take

29:41them to court, small claims court.

29:44Yeah.

29:44And then you spend how much money just to take them to small claims court?

29:48Yeah, that's true.

29:49That's true.

29:50And then it's not even guaranteed that you're going to get it back when you want to get it back.

29:54Right.

29:55And, you know, like I said, man, you know, I always, you know, I was thinking about this and I

30:04always tell people there's five things that money break up.

30:09Money breaks up families, friendship, relationship, businesses and marriages.

30:22Those five things guarantee somewhere down the line when stuff breaks up, mess up, money is somewhere involved in those

30:32five things.

30:35You know, like you said, they said most, they said like most marriages, especially, you know, it's always, it's about

30:43the money.

30:44It's about the money.

30:46You know, the woman is not happy with the man because, I mean, he's doing the best he can sometimes

30:53and she's not happy with him because he's not making a lot of money.

30:59Or, you know, some of the guys feel the same way about the women.

31:08You know, are you really, are you really, you know, doing what you say you're doing or are you just

31:16playing around and just telling me that this is all you have?

31:23Wow.

31:24This one is interesting.

31:27Yeah.

31:30Listen, back in the day, I lent my friend $20 and I know that my friend needed this $20.

31:40So I was like, okay, that's fine.

31:43And the whole thing, I'll pay you back next week.

31:47Next week came and just like this letter here.

31:51Yeah.

31:53Yeah.

31:53So then I, in my way at 20 some odd years old, was like, oh yeah, I gave you this

32:02$20 and you ain't going to pay me back.

32:04So I took it a certain way.

32:06And I stopped talking to my friend for maybe like two, three years.

32:10And the next time that I spoke to my friend was during a funeral.

32:15So a lot of hurt feelings, but over $20.

32:20And that's because I was coming from a scarcity mindset because that's what I was brought up in.

32:26And is a friendship really worth $20?

32:32Now, this one here is $7,500.

32:36Yeah.

32:37Is that really worth it?

32:39But I had to think about that.

32:41And now that I know how to operate and navigate money a heck of a lot better today than I

32:45did yesterday, I realized that some people might need the money a little bit more than you do.

32:51And in that scenario, over that $20, my friend needed the money a hell of a lot more than I

32:56did.

32:57And I should have just let it go because when you give, and I've said this before, you have to

33:03give from the heart, expecting nothing in return.

33:06See, back then I wasn't giving from the heart because I wanted everything in return.

33:10And that was just not coming from a place of love.

33:13So I was wrong in that case.

33:15When my friend did the $180 and decided not to pay me back, when she said she was going to

33:21pay me back, I was supposed to just keep it moving.

33:26Because I should have never given her that $20 if I didn't have it in the first place.

33:30Now, I did have it, but I was just coming from a selfish place.

33:33I didn't know how to give back then.

33:35But now this scenario is very different because it sounds like Miss Tasha never had the money to begin with

33:45in the first place.

33:46Because you should never dig, never dig into your emergency fund to fund somebody else's lifestyle.

33:56To fund somebody else's setback.

33:59Whatever the case may be, you should never dig into your emergency fund.

34:03Because in this story here, when the transmission went, what happened?

34:09Hey, she didn't pay you back.

34:11Exactly.

34:12So now you done dug into your emergency fund.

34:15You dug into your spiritual fund, which is supposed to help you in your time of need to go help

34:23fund somebody else.

34:25Absolutely not.

34:25And you kind of sort of got what you had coming because an emergency fund is an emergency fund.

34:32And that's for you and your household, not for somebody else's household.

34:36So you kind of sort of got what you really were looking for here.

34:42And you didn't sign anything.

34:44Nothing was written down.

34:46But she did tell you that she would pay you back within six months.

34:49But that six months came and went.

34:52Now, she did say that.

34:54Yeah, but you know what?

34:55The key thing is she thought she was her friend.

35:01That's why people ask me.

35:04And I say it a lot, not out of disrespect.

35:08I use the word associate.

35:11And sometimes people have asked me.

35:14I say, I got very few friends, but I got many associates.

35:18And when people have asked me what that meant, I said, that means associates mean there's people that I know

35:25that I don't consider my true friends.

35:28Because I was always told, you know, my dad, you know, I always bring this up.

35:36But he always said that, you know, in lifetime, you're going to have at the most five real good friends

35:44at the most.

35:46He said, after that, everybody after that is nothing but associates.

35:53And I had to think about that.

35:56And I'm like, what he meant?

35:59Because he's talking about, man, you running around here talking about, this is your friend, this is your friend, this

36:03is your friend.

36:04No, he's not.

36:05And he said, he's trying to get what you have.

36:11I don't have it.

36:12He said, no, no, no, no.

36:13He said, listen to me.

36:14He's trying to get what you have.

36:17You may think you don't have something, but it's something that you have that he's trying to get to.

36:23I know that's right.

36:25Yep.

36:26They're always trying to.

36:27And that's why I tell my sons that all the time.

36:32I'm like, hey, man, you know, you only have, I said, really?

36:36You have five friends in a lifetime.

36:41And I said, most of the time, it's just two or three people that are really your friends.

36:48I said, but the other two, to make it five, they're a little bit closer than all the ones that's

36:54out here that ain't nothing but associates.

36:58And I told them, I said, as you live, and I said, you'll learn.

37:04I said, because, hey, man, you know, and I said, when you loan somebody money, you're taking a chance of

37:12not getting it back.

37:14And that's why, like, my son, one of my sons, hey, dad, he had this bad.

37:19He would say, hey, can you loan me?

37:21And I said, look, son, I'm your dad.

37:24Just ask me for it.

37:26Don't put the loan in there because I know you can't pay me back, and I know you're not going

37:32to pay me back.

37:33So just say, Dad, do you have 10, 15, 20, 30, whatever you need, just ask me for it.

37:41And, hey, if I have it, I'll give it to you.

37:44So now when they want some money, they say, hey, dad, you got 10?

37:49Hey, dad, you got 20?

37:51I'm like, yeah, I'll send it to them.

37:53And I told them, I said, man, I said, see, now, I said, you're learning.

37:57You don't realize you're learning something.

38:00Right, right.

38:00You know, and I said, don't borrow money from nobody and then tell them you're going to pay them back,

38:08and then you don't because I said, because then if they be looking at you sideways, you brought that on

38:16yourself.

38:17I know that's right.

38:18Yeah.

38:18And I said, some people, some people will go as far as to hurt you over that because they'll tell

38:25you, I worked too hard for this.

38:29And they think that, oh, you're trying to use me.

38:32You're trying to sucker me, you know, but that ain't going to happen.

38:35If you say you're going to pay me, you're going to pay me.

38:38I've seen people get into fights over that.

38:42And, you know, the dude said, well, hey, man, I just ran into hard time.

38:45He said, no, you said you're going to pay me today.

38:48You don't have my money.

38:50He said, hey, you know what's getting ready to happen?

38:52I saw something on one of the reels on social media where this woman said she had surgery, and she

39:06had a walker.

39:07She must have sent either her friend or boyfriend, whoever, to go to the store and get something for her.

39:14She came in that store before he could even get out and said, where's my money?

39:18I just had surgery.

39:20Where's my money?

39:21I just had my surgery.

39:22Let me tell you, she stood up from that walker, and she beat him and bit him in his head,

39:31bit him in the back of his head.

39:33And all of the comments were like, I guess she really didn't need that walker that bad.

39:39She went up to the counter and said, this man took my money.

39:43I gave him X, Y, and Z.

39:45And she kept going in on him.

39:47I trusted you.

39:48I trusted you to do the right thing with my money, and you didn't.

39:51And then the guy behind the counter actually ended up giving her her money back.

39:55But whatever it was, it was craziness.

39:58You know, if I told you this, man, you probably will laugh.

40:03That's why I said, like, in my hometown, there was this guy that was him and this lady would live

40:08together.

40:08And she was an older lady, so she gave him some money to go to the store.

40:16Instead, he went to the barbershop to get his hair done, and he had his other girlfriend with him.

40:25Man, this lady here showed up, and because somebody called her.

40:32That's the cold part.

40:33Somebody said, hey, man, you and him still dating?

40:35I see he driving one in your car.

40:38And she said, yeah.

40:39And then she said, okay.

40:41She said, where he at?

40:42She told him.

40:43She said, well, I'll be right up there.

40:44Well, the store across the street we all used to hang out in.

40:50And she came up there.

40:52When he walked out, she said, oh, so where's my money at?

40:57And he couldn't explain it.

40:59She said, okay.

41:00I'll tell you what.

41:01This is what you're going to do.

41:02She said, I'm not going to put my hands on you, but you're going to have to strip.

41:12You're going to have to strip.

41:14And he was like, not out here.

41:17She said, oh, yeah, out here.

41:19She reached in her purse, and she said, oh, either you strip or guess what?

41:24Like I said, I ain't going to put my hand on you, but I got this bullet for you.

41:29He right there, right there.

41:31And so somebody called the police.

41:33When the police came up there, she told the police what was up.

41:37They just sit back, and they just say, I want to see this.

41:41The only thing she let him keep was his underwear.

41:45She said, I don't want them.

41:47She said, but yeah, she made him strip, man.

41:51And you know how it is.

41:54We young and stuff.

41:55We standing across the street, man.

41:58We holding cans of beer, and we just, oh, man, we laughing.

42:03That was crazy, man.

42:06You know, he eventually, he lost his job behind that.

42:10He left town, which I don't blame him, because everybody see him.

42:15She said, you can have, she told the lady, she said, you can have him.

42:18And she was like, oh, I don't want him now.

42:28And he had to leave, he had to leave the car.

42:31And she said, she had brought a friend with her.

42:35She said, here, she said, take my car home.

42:38Wow.

42:39And I was like, yeah, and that kind of like, and then I went home, and I thought about it.

42:45So I was telling my parents about it.

42:49And my mom said, so you think that's funny, huh?

42:51I'm like, yeah, it's funny.

42:53She said, okay, don't you ever get in that situation.

42:57Boy, hey, that's when I got to thinking.

43:00I'm like, hmm, she's right.

43:05But all he had to do was just go to the store like he's supposed to, and go back and

43:10take her her money.

43:11Now, he's going to go, he wanted to go get, you know, because back then they was wearing perms.

43:15He wanted to go and get his hair all done up and everything.

43:19And he had a younger girl with him.

43:22So, you know, I was like, man, we laughed.

43:25I ain't going to lie, man.

43:26We laughed.

43:28We were supposed to be going to play basketball that day, man.

43:30We said, skip playing basketball.

43:37Oh, my goodness.

43:39That's funny.

43:41So, you know, and that's why I always tell my boys, I say, hey, man, don't borrow money from somebody

43:46if you can't pay them back.

43:47Because if you promise to pay somebody back, or you ain't got to promise, you just say, I'll pay you

43:53back, and you don't give it to them, then they look at you sideways.

43:57That's on you.

43:59Yeah.

44:00Yeah.

44:00Now, to sum this up here, because this is, don't give your emergency fund to anybody.

44:08Family will do it to you, too.

44:10And you got to be careful with that.

44:11Because once you start to get on your feet and do things personally, people will think that now you owe

44:17them something because they don't want to do their work.

44:20So, because you've done the work, you've saved, you've had enough discipline, you followed the rules, obviously things will work

44:29out in your favor.

44:29But then you have family members, you have friends, whatever the case may be, partners, spouses that see this.

44:39And they need to be neglectful in their own financial world.

44:42But because they are attached to you or they know you, they feel that now you need to go ahead

44:46and take responsibility for them.

44:48And I have to say, absolutely not.

44:55And emergency fund is for an emergency for you, not to fund somebody else's lifestyle.

45:01And then just like in this letter here, you know, going to the movies, posting photos, going out to restaurants.

45:08When someone does the 180 on you and owes you money and then now they're doing things like that, of

45:13course, you're going to feel resentful.

45:15Of course, you're going to feel a certain way because that person is not doing what they should be doing.

45:20And then you have a nerve to turn around and say that maybe she's still struggling.

45:26How could she be still struggling when she's buying concert tickets and weekend trips and all this other craziness?

45:33You're in some sort of delusion.

45:35She's not still struggling.

45:37She's not doing the right thing with her money.

45:39And if she is still struggling from her responsibility aspect, then that's just her problem.

45:45You're going to have to pay up.

45:48But unfortunately, you're going to have to take a loss.

45:51You're going to have to take an L on this one.

45:53And this will teach you to never go ahead and give somebody something that you can't give.

46:00I'm sorry, I don't have it to give to you.

46:03You don't need to worry about what somebody has in their bank account, what they drive and what they have

46:08going on.

46:09I'm sorry, I just don't have it to give to you.

46:11Now, if you have it and it's tied up into your emergency fund, it's tied up into your sinking fund,

46:17it's tied up into whatever you have going on in your personal world.

46:20That ain't nobody else's business.

46:22You don't have it to give to them because it's in your emergency fund.

46:26And that's not an emergency.

46:27And that's not lying.

46:28That's telling the truth.

46:30You don't have it to give to them.

46:34That's a problem.

46:35Now, this right here.

46:40The burning question for reflection that I'll leave all y'all with.

46:44When you give money, you cannot afford to lose.

46:47Are you helping somebody or are you transferring your financial problem into your own future?

46:52Because it will come back and bite you.

46:54Because when life happens, life happens.

46:58Nobody knows when it's going to happen.

46:59That's why they say save for a rainy day.

47:01You don't know when that day is going to come.

47:04So if you're giving all your money that you've saved for a rainy day for somebody else who's neglectful, for

47:10somebody else who's going on concert trips and this and that, the next, the other, and you're giving your hard

47:15-on money to that, when that life happens, when that rainy day happens, then what you're going to do?

47:20So this is a prime example of that.

47:24I don't have anything else to say.

47:26What about you?

47:28Pretty much.

47:29It'll be almost repeating myself.

47:33You know, and well, the part I want to say is that she's seeing all these pictures that she uploaded

47:42on social media, and she's not even inviting her friend, her so-called friend,

47:50to enjoy with her.

47:51Of course not, because then she's going to be like, where are you getting this money from?

47:57I thought you couldn't pay me back.

47:59That's the part that hurts the most when you loan somebody something, they don't pay you back, and then the

48:06next thing you know, you see them out there, and they're doing these things, and you'll be like, well, I

48:13gave you all this money.

48:14Like I said, that's a lot of money, man, to give away to a friend.

48:20Like, you know, I'm telling you, man, it's hard for me to give that much away to a family member.

48:26It is basically what you just said.

48:28Whenever you give somebody something, it is a gift.

48:31Give equals gift.

48:32If you are not prepared to give it as a gift and don't give it in the first place.

48:37Exactly.

48:38Because when it's a gift, that means you don't get it in return.

48:42Now, if you loan somebody $40 and they don't pay you back, okay.

48:48You had it saved up to your tithing area, whatever it might be, your giving fund, whatever you might call

48:56it.

48:56You got a little fund set away for if anybody needs to borrow this, borrow that.

48:59You pull from that account.

49:01Not a problem.

49:02Now, if they pay you back, that's a bonus.

49:04We good.

49:05You know what?

49:06You are moving in the right direction.

49:08That level of trust just got notched up a little bit.

49:12But guess what?

49:13If they don't give it back, you already knew in the first place that I'm giving this money because this

49:20person might really need it.

49:21And if they don't give it back, then that means they needed it more than I did at this moment.

49:26But I have already put this amount of money aside for this specific occasion.

49:31I have a separate account.

49:33I have a separate area where I put all of the money that I'm going to give for people who

49:38actually need it.

49:39It's called a giving fund.

49:41If you can't fund it properly that way, then from my personal opinion, again, it's my own opinion.

49:48I'm not trying to tell anybody what to do, but I wouldn't be giving it in the first place.

49:54I just, you know, to me, it's just cold that she would do her like that after she called her

50:01crying and stuff and then would do that.

50:04But some people don't have a heart.

50:07But you know what?

50:08What's going to happen is her friend going to get in that situation again.

50:15And who's she going to call on then?

50:19Because the one that helped you, she, she, she, you know, I don't like to call people this, but she'll

50:25be a damn fool to help her again.

50:28Right.

50:29You know, you know, and, you know, it's fun, you know, and you asked me things like that.

50:36Yes, it has happened to me where a friend, he said, hey, man, he said, he said, oh, he said,

50:44I want to get three of your books.

50:46And I'm like, yeah, OK, he said, because I hadn't seen him, you know, and he said, hey, I want

50:51to get three of your books.

50:52He said, could you mail them to me?

50:53And he said, once I get your address, I mail you your money.

50:58And I'm like, yeah, OK.

50:59So I mailed him the books, didn't hear from him, called him, no answer, called him again, no answer.

51:07So I, you know, I chalked it up as a loss.

51:10So then finally he called me.

51:13And the first thing he said was, hey, man, I've been trying to get hold to you.

51:16I'm like, hey, man, I'm right here.

51:19He never mentioned anything about that.

51:22And, you know, I just said, hey, man, you know, I'm just glad I'm glad you got my books and

51:26you put them on your table so people know, you know, they'll know that, you know, me and whatever, you

51:32know, you know, you know, that's publicity, you know.

51:35And so, like, right now, the dude won't even talk to me, man.

51:40I did.

51:40I have never did nothing to him.

51:42That's crazy.

51:44Yeah.

51:44And I'm like, wow, man.

51:45And then my ex-sister-in-law and I said X, that's what a capital X.

51:51You know, she called me one time and she said, oh, I see you doing good.

51:56She said, you have any souvenirs?

51:59And I'm like, souvenirs?

52:00She said, oh, I know you got.

52:01I said, yes, you do.

52:03You got souvenirs.

52:04Oh, you done got away from here, from home, and you think you better than us.

52:08And ClickUp hung up on me.

52:09I was like, wow, man.

52:11Oh, my goodness.

52:13I'm like, oh, okay.

52:15I said, but, you know, I know we will never speak again.

52:21And then she has been trying to contact me.

52:24Oh, how you doing?

52:25Haven't heard from you in a while.

52:27Well, you know, there's a reason.

52:30Right.

52:31I always tell people that if you don't hear from somebody that you owe something to or you did some

52:36kind of wrong to them,

52:38and then you say, oh, I haven't heard from you.

52:41Well, there's a reason why you ain't heard from that person.

52:46That's craziness.

52:48Yeah.

52:49Well, we are up against the clock, so we're going to have to get out of here.

52:53And if you can go ahead and let people know what you need to let them know for this week

52:58before we get out of here.

53:00Yeah, tomorrow evening, I do this podcast with this group out of New Jersey, and we do it once a

53:13month.

53:13So we're having a meeting tomorrow evening.

53:16But then after that, man, I'm just pretty much kind of working on this song so me and her can

53:22put it together and still writing, of course.

53:28So my books is on Amazon at Amazon.com slash author slash Birdman313.

53:35I have 11 different books.

53:39You know, check it out.

53:41You know, like I tell people, all my books, you're going to find something about nature in it and personal

53:48experience.

53:50And then on Goodreads, it's Birdman313, where my books are at.

53:57Then I'm on Spotify, Coffee, Wine, and Words.

54:00I have some videos, I think 11 videos on there.

54:04Then I have my YouTube channel, which is YouTube.com slash author, poet, Birdman31355.

54:13You can go on my Instagram page where I've been posting pictures and poems on there.

54:20And that's also Birdman31355.

54:24And other than that, that's about it, man.

54:27Just like I said, just writing and working on this song.

54:31And I'm finally getting my videos back, program up, so I can start back, you know, making some new videos

54:39and just staying busy.

54:42Just staying busy, staying home, staying out the streets because there's nothing out there but trouble.

54:47That's right.

54:48Yeah, that's what's up.

54:50All right, so we are up against the clock, so I definitely do appreciate you for coming through.

54:55And we're going to have to jet on up out of here.

54:58And I will talk to you when I talk to you.

55:01You take care.

55:02All right, you too.

55:04Have a good night.

55:04Yeah, I appreciate it.

55:05Yeah, thank you for having me on here.

55:07No problem, as always.

55:09Yes.

55:10All right.

55:12Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

55:15That was author, poet, Birdman313.

55:19And it is a wrap for the 411 podcast.

55:22Great episode.

55:23And I will see you all when I see you.

55:25Take care, y'all.

55:26Have a good night.

55:42Have a good night.

56:12Have a good night.

56:42Have a good night.

I Lent My Best Friend $7,500 & Now We're Both Mad | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 53)

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