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00:00:06Don't get me wrong, Gaby, but isn't this fishing thing a bit of a drag?
00:00:10It's so easy to call the restaurant and ask them to bring up a baked bean.
00:00:13Gaby, this, fishing, this is...
00:00:15Tropida!
00:00:16There's nothing like waiting while watching the buoy, tightening the hook, and enjoying the rod.
00:00:24The truth is, you're right.
00:00:25Here in contact with nature, the sea breeze, the smell of salt.
00:00:31This is bullshit.
00:00:32I'm going to see who wants to marry my son.
00:00:34But wait, man.
00:00:34Careful, Gaby, dude.
00:00:36The gunshot.
00:00:37How hard it is to be a war hero.
00:00:39But what war hero are you talking about?
00:00:41If that coward wanted to use Merkel as a human shield, man.
00:00:45Hey, how are things with your father?
00:00:48Because being the captain he'll get a lot of visitors, right?
00:00:50Hey, if it bothers you that I go to play the cello, I don't know, Tere, for example.
00:00:56I forbid it, period, okay?
00:00:57High!
00:00:58What do you hope to get out of this?
00:01:00A knife?
00:01:01It's a...
00:01:03You intend to slit my throat so you can steal all the copper from the ship, don't you, gypsy?
00:01:10It's a highlighter for underlining international law notes.
00:01:16Right.
00:01:17And remember, on this ship, Campillo is the highest authority.
00:01:21I can't stand it, kid.
00:01:22Playing the cello all day.
00:01:24Every time I lie on my back it feels like I'm at my own wake.
00:01:26That's also bad luck.
00:01:28Gaby, the little mime girl could have come out, that way you wouldn't have heard her.
00:01:30And what is that?
00:01:31Doesn't the guy know what a mime is?
00:01:32Those who act like they have a pane of glass in front of them.
00:01:34Or the rope thing.
00:01:35No, damn it, that's it.
00:01:38That's a tuna on the line, baby.
00:01:40It's not that it's big and floats.
00:01:42It will be a dead tuna.
00:01:44Damn, it's a dinghy.
00:01:47The captain speaks.
00:01:48Stop, engines immediately.
00:01:50Immediately!
00:01:52Holy shit, a dead tuna with black people on top of it.
00:01:54What a mess!
00:02:04And that he's with the crew.
00:02:09It's a done deal!
00:02:10And look over the side.
00:02:11It's a done deal!
00:02:12The mobile phone and the watch.
00:02:15Tarpamos romántica triboca.
00:02:19Sail with me and set a course for your peaceful life.
00:02:25Gaby, you can't put the migrants on the boat.
00:02:27Imagine they're pirates and they kidnap me.
00:02:29That I am a saint, she.
00:02:31An international conflict would be brewing.
00:02:32So don't worry.
00:02:33If you are kidnapped, as soon as they get to know you they will release you again.
00:02:36Hey, don't take it as a joke, okay?
00:02:37In addition, you will have to deliver the bitter part.
00:02:39Go ahead, I don't have to give anything to that side.
00:02:40This is a maritime rescue case.
00:02:42It's up to me, since I'm the captain, and that's that.
00:02:43Yes, but if he catches us, we'll both be in trouble.
00:02:46And I'll put up with it for poking her eye out, okay?
00:02:48But not for this reason.
00:02:49My God, they're really black, aren't they?
00:02:55Canfillo, do you mind?
00:02:56You're blocking my light.
00:02:58It would be the first time a non-Gypsy has taken something from a Gypsy.
00:03:02Shit, what was that?
00:03:03Someone has sneaked into the crew area.
00:03:06And who's going to sneak in?
00:03:07A little squid to steal.
00:03:08I know who the little chopp is.
00:03:09A buddy of yours, I'm sure all gypsies give each other food names.
00:03:13Tomatito, the langoustine, the small fish.
00:03:17Shrimp, little apple.
00:03:18Okay, good night.
00:03:22Torete.
00:03:26Well, doctor, how are the boys?
00:03:28Good, in Benalmadel, with his grandmother.
00:03:30No, no, I'm not referring to their grandchildren, the immigrants, how are they?
00:03:34Ah, okay, they're a little dehydrated and have mild hypothermia.
00:03:37Nothing a hug can't fix.
00:03:41Come on, get some rest, doctor.
00:03:42And remember, not a single bitter word about this.
00:03:45Who is bitter?
00:03:46Sleep well, Dr. Rueda.
00:03:48Goodbye, son.
00:03:49My God, have you seen those black guys?
00:03:51I think they came rowing with their tails.
00:03:54We were going by motor, but it broke down.
00:03:55Damn, what's he talking about?
00:03:56Do you speak Spanish?
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:58We are both from Equatorial Guinea.
00:04:00Well, I was in Equatorial Guinea, at a resort.
00:04:03It was called Palmera Gardens, all inclusive.
00:04:04Two pools, one with fresh water, one with salt water, and one with a natural waterfall.
00:04:08There was dancing at night.
00:04:09Haven't you been?
00:04:10No.
00:04:10That's a shame.
00:04:11Where are we now?
00:04:12In Spanish waters.
00:04:13He was coming to Spain, wasn't he?
00:04:15It's Spain, man.
00:04:17With the unemployment there.
00:04:18Corruption.
00:04:20In Bárcenas.
00:04:21Look how refined, young man.
00:04:22Well, since the boat is still there, off it goes, marching towards Africa.
00:04:25Ariano, shut your mouth or you'll be the one going on the boat.
00:04:28Look, I'm the captain of this ship, okay?
00:04:30You can rest assured.
00:04:31We're going to hide them and when we get to port, the Red Cross will pick you up, okay?
00:04:36Yes, because my mouth is extremely dry.
00:04:40Ah, how refreshing!
00:04:42What do you see?
00:04:42There are a lot.
00:04:43Give it to the boys too.
00:04:45A.
00:04:46Well, one for each of us.
00:04:50Don't take it like that, it's going to make you feel bad.
00:04:52In small sips.
00:04:57Come on.
00:05:01Gaby, where are you going to put it?
00:05:03In the cellar, in the warehouse?
00:05:04In the engine room?
00:05:04What is less visible?
00:05:05No, in your cabin.
00:05:06In my cabin?
00:05:07No way, these people could bring Ebola.
00:05:09And Ebola is a poor person's problem.
00:05:10What do you want?
00:05:10Let him die like a poor man?
00:05:11I have to die with class, like a Kennedy.
00:05:13Well, go to your cabin and don't give her too many kisses.
00:05:14No, no, no.
00:05:15Come on, guys, it's happened.
00:05:16Be quiet.
00:05:17No, out.
00:05:17Passing by.
00:05:18Do not pass.
00:05:18Shut up, we'll talk tomorrow.
00:05:20No.
00:05:20Gaby, that's enough.
00:05:21No, no, no, no.
00:05:22Look, as a supervisor, boss, I order you to take me out...
00:05:27Holy shit, little field!
00:05:29Damn, that scared me.
00:05:30Scare?
00:05:30Because?
00:05:31Some terrorists have infiltrated the group.
00:05:32Stand behind me.
00:05:33My abs will be his bulletproof vest.
00:05:35What are you saying?
00:05:36Stay still, no one has sneaked in.
00:05:37That?
00:05:38Go on, go back to your cabin and cover yourself, for God's sake.
00:05:41Your egg is showing.
00:05:51I am so sorry, Mrs. Marturey figure.
00:05:54The debt thing was a mistake.
00:05:55His card always had funds.
00:05:57I must have passed it on the wrong side.
00:06:00At his feet.
00:06:01My lawyer will put you at my feet, and he'll take everything you have for moral damages.
00:06:06Goodbye forever, you riffraff from the outskirts of town.
00:06:09Where are you going, cleaner?
00:06:11That?
00:06:15And this?
00:06:18But I'm rich.
00:06:20No, you're a maid.
00:06:23Chacha.
00:06:25Chacha.
00:06:26Chacha.
00:06:27Chacha.
00:06:27Chacha.
00:06:28Chacha.
00:06:29Chacha.
00:06:36Shit, I'm Guaqui.
00:06:39I wish I were with my husband.
00:06:41But he tells you, if there's jail, right?
00:06:42That's why.
00:06:44The prison is as disgusting as this ship.
00:06:46But at least there my hair wouldn't get fried.
00:06:48You're such a snob, girl.
00:06:49Sorry?
00:06:51Are you keeping our clothes where we sleep?
00:06:54What is this, Calcutta?
00:06:55Well, you're going to have to get used to it.
00:06:57That now you're just another working stiff.
00:06:59Yes, even if she's dressed like a posh girl and you know how to pronounce feces.
00:07:03E, he, he, he.
00:07:04There, the letter that begins with Sevilla.
00:07:06Oh, be quiet.
00:07:07It's my turn to work today.
00:07:09Well, first I'm going to have breakfast.
00:07:12How is the brunch here?
00:07:13Or there's no brunch here.
00:07:15At most, frosqui or corflaque.
00:07:19But, little girl, hurry up, because nothing's coming to get you...
00:07:22But seriously, girl, are you still like that?
00:07:24Come on, your turn starts in two minutes.
00:07:27Hello?
00:07:28At eight o'clock.
00:07:29Even my Filipina colleagues don't start work at that hour.
00:07:32Oh, I don't know about your Philippines.
00:07:33But you did.
00:07:34Come on, I'll wait for you downstairs.
00:07:35And wake up, there's a lot of toilet work to do.
00:07:37And yesterday there was a little something salty, I won't say any more, okay?
00:07:43Damn, what did I do yesterday?
00:07:45I even use my mouth.
00:07:47Like a sandal.
00:07:48You're awake now!
00:07:50Oh, holy shit!
00:07:51What do you want to do?
00:07:52I don't know, did you sleep well?
00:07:53Because I slept great, come on.
00:07:54It's so great that I'm bursting with energy.
00:07:56I don't know, we can go to the command center.
00:07:58Play hangman or watch a documentary.
00:08:00No, no, let's see, let's see.
00:08:02At eight in the morning.
00:08:04But damn it, I slept for ten minutes.
00:08:05Well, don't worry, you'll regain your strength.
00:08:07as soon as I bring you the piece of breakfast I asked for.
00:08:11Okay, yesterday?
00:08:12Watch out, here I come.
00:08:14Soy milk, wholemeal toast with beetroot and...
00:08:17radish juice.
00:08:20Radish juice.
00:08:23Look, my dear, thank you very much, but I...
00:08:25If I'm fine with just a coffee and a cigarette, you know?
00:08:27In fact, I go to the bathroom because of coffee and cigarettes, you know how it is.
00:08:32Man, coffee and a cigarette...
00:08:35I'm going to the bathroom.
00:08:37But I have to take a shower.
00:08:38Family race, I'll go first.
00:08:40No, Olivia, Olivia, wait, wait, wait.
00:08:42Olivia.
00:08:44Olivia, open up, I'm about to pee.
00:08:47Open up, I can't stand it anymore, man.
00:08:48Not me, I love you more.
00:08:50What does he say now?
00:08:57Attention, attention.
00:08:58Two vitally important announcements.
00:09:00In five minutes, section heads meeting.
00:09:03And today we will dock at the Olympic port of Barcelona.
00:09:06Yes, because Barcelona was an Olympic city, unlike other cities.
00:09:10Good day.
00:09:13Josep, I've used the device, tell me.
00:09:15As?
00:09:16That they peed on him.
00:09:18That must have been a wave, ma'am.
00:09:24Let's begin.
00:09:26I hate unpunctuality and we are 30 seconds late.
00:09:28You're right.
00:09:29Tardiness is a scourge that we do not tolerate in Catalonia.
00:09:32Josep, one little thing.
00:09:33I'll use you as an anchor for the next ideological message over the PA system.
00:09:36You're right.
00:09:37Mixing work and doctrine is a scourge that we will not tolerate on this ship.
00:09:42Speaking of being late, here comes a latecomer.
00:09:45Sorry, you caught me.
00:09:46Which eye do you have?
00:09:47Okay, can we get started now?
00:09:50Mariano, where is he?
00:09:54Can you tell me why you're not at the meeting?
00:09:57I said I wanted all the positions of responsibility.
00:10:00And you.
00:10:02Marga, because I feel terrible.
00:10:04I have a cough, phlegm, fever, diarrhea, I also have.
00:10:08I'm receiving last rites.
00:10:09I have to go, Marga.
00:10:13Trio of aces.
00:10:15My God.
00:10:16Man.
00:10:17I'm terrible.
00:10:18It's because you don't have money, otherwise it would have been cleaned up.
00:10:20My God, what a gang.
00:10:21Come on, what are you giving?
00:10:23Let's begin.
00:10:23First.
00:10:25Breaks will be reduced to 20 minutes, including lunchtime.
00:10:2920 minutes for lunch?
00:10:31My endocrinologist has prescribed that I chew each bite 30 times.
00:10:34Will you chew them for me?
00:10:35No.
00:10:36It's best not to eat, it won't hurt you.
00:10:38Secondly.
00:10:39Thanks to my contacts, I have managed to get the most important national event held at Ancla 2.
00:10:45A Chenoa concert.
00:10:47It wasn't a riddle, Campillo.
00:10:48Okay, let's organize the Miss Spanish Coast gala.
00:10:53Well, I almost went to Triana for a year.
00:10:55In 19...
00:10:56In 2002...
00:10:58In the 8th.
00:10:58In the 8th.
00:11:00Silence!
00:11:02It's the main fashion event of the year and media outlets from all over the world will be there.
00:11:05So I want the image we project of Anchor 2 to be spotless.
00:11:09Impoluta means impeccable.
00:11:12Impeccable is good, okay?
00:11:14Unlike Merkel's visit, which...
00:11:19This time everything has to go perfectly.
00:11:21So let's go.
00:11:22Palmyra.
00:11:22Yeah.
00:11:23You're going to be in charge of cleaning the Misses' wing.
00:11:25Very good.
00:11:26Campillo, you're going to be in charge of surveillance.
00:11:28Did you understand?
00:11:29Peaceful.
00:11:30I'm not going to leave those Misses' side, not even when they're showering.
00:11:32But without looking, okay?
00:11:33Here, I am a gentleman.
00:11:34No, no, no, no, no.
00:11:36What you need to watch out for is the crown.
00:11:37Attention.
00:11:38The crown has 15 trapiche emeralds.
00:11:42It is valued at more than one million euros.
00:11:44So that we understand each other.
00:11:45It's worth more than all your education combined.
00:11:48I'm copying.
00:11:48I'm going to stop that crown from being stolen, right now.
00:11:51Good.
00:11:52Yusef Lluís, you will be the head of protocol.
00:11:54Thank you, ma'am and director.
00:11:55I won't let him down.
00:11:56At his feet.
00:11:58And who do I have left?
00:11:59Ah, yes, Gabriel.
00:11:59Your situation is super important.
00:12:02Please come showered.
00:12:04We all have a task.
00:12:06Let's get to work!
00:12:10Hey, the principal saves a lot of toilet paper with you, huh?
00:12:14Give me asses.
00:12:16Look, kid, as head of protocol, I'm warning you that you have a first warning for poor protocol.
00:12:23Pussy.
00:12:27Pussy.
00:12:28Make way for the crown.
00:12:30I don't want any strange movements.
00:12:33You, child.
00:12:35Get away from here or I'll open a third eye for you.
00:12:38Campillo, I've told you about pointing guns at minors.
00:12:40But I was in the middle.
00:12:41Campillo.
00:12:42Where?
00:12:42No.
00:12:44Hello.
00:12:49Dad.
00:12:50Yes, everything is perfect for when it reaches the press.
00:12:53Yeah.
00:12:55What's coming? Who?
00:12:56Ah, well, we'll treat him perfectly.
00:12:59I'm going to treat him like he's my brother.
00:13:01No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:02I'm going to treat him well.
00:13:04Very good.
00:13:05See you later.
00:13:09Are you spying on me?
00:13:10I'm not spying on him, I'm saving him time.
00:13:12Now you don't have to tell me anything because I am informed.
00:13:15Although I'm missing the other part of the conversation.
00:13:17Who should we treat well?
00:13:19To Francisco Salazar, the organizer of this event.
00:13:22Francisco Salazar, the mega-builder.
00:13:25Mother God, years.
00:13:26If I had as much money as he does, I'd take it and...
00:13:29I would save it.
00:13:30Well, it turns out that he's also a very good friend of my father,
00:13:33because they are partners in the holding company.
00:13:35Look, there it is.
00:13:36We're betting on the guy, Josep.
00:13:38We have to rise to the occasion.
00:13:39Come on, come on, girls, with joy.
00:13:42Come on, let's go, let's go.
00:13:43Take.
00:13:44Oh, for the straggler.
00:13:46Listen, how beautiful everything is, huh?
00:13:47Who would have thought?
00:13:48Mr. Salazar.
00:13:49Yeah?
00:13:49I am Marga Santaella.
00:13:50Go on.
00:13:52Oh, sure.
00:13:52You must be the little girl from Santaella.
00:13:55I remember you and your brother as little kids running around in the hunting grounds in Cáceres.
00:14:00How grown up you are, daughter.
00:14:04Yeah.
00:14:05Look, you have a yellow one here.
00:14:08What's up, buddy?
00:14:09There were no more balls left to sew in your village.
00:14:13It's Josep Lluís, head of protocol.
00:14:14Go with the girls.
00:14:16He will show you to your cabins.
00:14:18Her suite is one of the...
00:14:19Well, it's a shame that you're sick, really.
00:14:20Because you, I mean, you, have great boobs.
00:14:23Seriously, you've got them in good shape, huh?
00:14:25Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
00:14:27I didn't find out.
00:14:27Come on, I'll see if I can go see your brother.
00:14:29Bye, beautiful.
00:14:31Director.
00:14:32The crown is already in the cabin.
00:14:34Wow, those girls are really beautiful.
00:14:37But how can you be so sexist?
00:14:38How can you say something like that?
00:14:40Hey?
00:14:41You disgust me!
00:14:42You disgust me!
00:14:57What's happening?
00:14:58I have something here.
00:14:59No, it's just that we're hungry.
00:15:00Ah, damn, you should have said that sooner.
00:15:02Now I only have six cookies left.
00:15:05Come on, take three and administer them.
00:15:07Don't eat them just like that.
00:15:08I wonder if they're going to make me feel unwell.
00:15:12I'm taking away some milk!
00:15:17Damn it, get out of the way.
00:15:17Can't you see what I have to go through?
00:15:18My God, you guys have some nerve.
00:15:32Do you want to open it, Mariano? It's me, damn it!
00:15:35But the key is two strokes.
00:15:36This is giving three.
00:15:37It could be anyone.
00:15:38Open, open, open.
00:15:40Here it goes.
00:15:40No, close it, close it, close it.
00:15:42Gravie, huh?
00:15:44When are we going to see each other?
00:15:46This flamenco dance needs...
00:15:50move the castanet.
00:15:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby.
00:15:52Me too.
00:15:53The thing is, I can't.
00:15:54It's impossible.
00:15:55It's because my daughter is stuck in the cabin all day.
00:15:56Can you have to do something by proxy?
00:15:58Otherwise, I'll have to resort to plan B.
00:16:02B for Victor.
00:16:03Hi Victor, handsome, how are you?
00:16:05How are you?
00:16:11That's not right.
00:16:13Do you want to open it, damn it?
00:16:15Gabriel, you're losing your temper, aren't you?
00:16:20So here we are, spending the morning.
00:16:23Hey, do you know what these guys eat?
00:16:24I just gave them three cookies and I think that was fine.
00:16:26But I'm afraid I might give them something that will make them feel unwell.
00:16:28But they're going to eat the same thing as you, you idiot.
00:16:30Look, don't get me worked up, I know I'm having a bad day.
00:16:32My daughter was a pain in the cabin the whole time.
00:16:34I can't even have sex.
00:16:36There is no one more miserable than me.
00:16:38Forgive me, brothers.
00:16:39Why can't I think of anything?
00:16:41You walk around the cabin with your dick out.
00:16:43Because maybe that way she'll feel uncomfortable and end up leaving.
00:16:45Don't talk nonsense.
00:16:46Nothing, I can't talk.
00:16:47So, let's just stick to our own thing, okay?
00:16:49We have three hours to get you down, okay?
00:16:51We're going to take them out through the warehouse area.
00:16:53That's how we came across the topic of beauty queens.
00:16:56As?
00:16:56What misses?
00:16:57Your sister has had the brilliant idea of holding the Miss Costa Española contest on board.
00:17:01So, the ship is full of hot chicks and I'm standing here staring at these guys' faces.
00:17:06It's not because of racism, okay?
00:17:08If I were the Belarusian, I would say the same thing.
00:17:09Hey, those bastards have eaten a cookie.
00:17:11Hey, Mariano, focus.
00:17:12That's a lot of things, huh?
00:17:13We have to leave before the patches find out.
00:17:16Mariano, open up.
00:17:20No, Marga.
00:17:21Go away, I look awful.
00:17:23And I don't want you to see me like this.
00:17:26Almira, open here immediately.
00:17:28Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:17:29I would do it with pleasure, Madam Director, but since you have cut back on breaks,
00:17:33Well, it turns out I have ten seconds of my time left and I have to make the most of them.
00:17:38Ah, very well, then I'll wait.
00:17:40Ah.
00:17:51Already.
00:17:52Thank you so much.
00:17:53By the way, in these ten seconds I've reorganized the entire schedule.
00:17:57And you have a double shift tomorrow.
00:17:58Open!
00:18:05That?
00:18:07Let's get a little frisky.
00:18:09Look at me.
00:18:10Go away, Marga, before you get infected.
00:18:12This virus must be really strong because to infect a Herculean body like mine...
00:18:16Look, in high school you'd catch a deadly virus every two weeks.
00:18:19And I was getting my hopes up for nothing.
00:18:20So come on, get out there, get to work, because...
00:18:24That?
00:18:26No.
00:18:36Damn, the whole Lakers team uses your bathroom.
00:18:40The Lakers team, he says.
00:18:50Hey!
00:18:51Hey!
00:18:51Hey!
00:18:52Hey!
00:18:52Where are you going, Gypsy? What is this?
00:18:54Ah, I see. Food laced with narcotics so they can knock the whole ship unconscious and steal the crown, melt it down, and
00:19:02Putting the golden piñata on your whole town, right?
00:19:06Well, I hadn't thought about it, but...
00:19:09They're just crab whims.
00:19:11If I assure you, why don't you try one?
00:19:13Because I have to...
00:19:14Try it!
00:19:25Swallow!
00:19:26Wait a little while, too.
00:19:29I'm coming.
00:19:35Glad?
00:19:35Open your mouth.
00:19:40What is that?
00:19:41It's a filling, damn it. It's a filling, fuck it.
00:19:46Can I now?
00:19:47Already.
00:19:49That?
00:19:49Alright.
00:19:51For today.
00:19:53Move along.
00:19:56Come on, woman, be energetic. Let's see that left turn.
00:19:59Hey!
00:19:59Come on!
00:20:00Where are you going in such a hurry? This is a restricted area for civilians. Do you have authorization?
00:20:04Yeah.
00:20:06They're taking our smack, I'll show you.
00:20:10Come on, let's get going.
00:20:12The day is slipping away!
00:20:13We're still staying...
00:20:14Wow! Another crash.
00:20:16There's just no way, you know? Sorry.
00:20:18I don't approve of you, I don't approve of you.
00:20:19Okay, you take care of the room and I'll take care of the bathroom.
00:20:22Wow!
00:20:24Oh! Oh, the crown!
00:20:27Oh!
00:20:28Are you wearing Trapiche emeralds?
00:20:30And judging by the alloys, it looks like a piece from the Dazler jewelry shop in Antwerp.
00:20:34You don't say.
00:20:35Ah.
00:20:36From Antwerp.
00:20:37What the hell are you?
00:20:39That?
00:20:40It's like you've run into... Mr. Clean.
00:20:43Mr. Clean, huh?
00:20:45Mr. Clean is waiting for you.
00:20:47Antwerp!
00:20:51Oh!
00:20:53Oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:20:56Oh!
00:21:01Oh!
00:21:03I was born to do this.
00:21:05What a queen Spain has lost!
00:21:08And I don't buy dresses at Zara.
00:21:10What are you saying?
00:21:10Oh!
00:21:16But what have you done, you wretch?
00:21:18Oh!
00:21:18Did you break the million euro crown?
00:21:20Oh, sorry!
00:21:21You're the one who pushed me!
00:21:23But why did you pick it up?
00:21:24Did you pick it up?
00:21:25Oh, I don't know!
00:21:26Well, but when the director sees it she'll say...
00:21:28Palmira, you're the boss.
00:21:30It's your responsibility.
00:21:31You're fired.
00:21:32Faucet face!
00:21:33Oh, we have to think of something!
00:21:36This is because of the "faucet face" thing!
00:21:37Come on, take it!
00:21:38I'm not going to touch it!
00:21:39The code of good seamanship requires assistance to sailors in danger.
00:21:42I've brought these immigrants on board as easily as I'd bring SpongeBob on board.
00:21:45I already told him there weren't any.
00:21:47That some black people can endure a few more days in a boat.
00:21:49Damn, they couldn't stand slavery.
00:21:50It might have seemed like a long time to them, but they endured it.
00:21:52Okay, okay, really.
00:21:54Do you think I'm capable of letting someone die?
00:21:57Man, you tried to kill me.
00:21:59He stuck a letter opener up my ass, huh.
00:22:01Careful.
00:22:01What the hell is that coming up with now?
00:22:03The important thing here is that you should have told me this.
00:22:07Sure, so you can yell at me like you are now.
00:22:09I'm not yelling at you, you idiot.
00:22:11Bitter.
00:22:11Bastard.
00:22:12You one-eyed piece of shit.
00:22:13You one-eyed piece of shit.
00:22:14No, guys, please, guys, not in front of the Africans.
00:22:17Okay, look, calm down, calm down, it's over now, calm down.
00:22:20That's all there is to it.
00:22:21We're getting off at the port of Barcelona right now, period.
00:22:24No way, because with this whole beauty pageant thing, all the media outlets are here.
00:22:27And the worst part is that the organizer could be a pundit from Intereconomía.
00:22:31So you're going to stay here and get off in Valencia tomorrow.
00:22:34As?
00:22:34As?
00:22:34Period!
00:22:35Go ahead, do whatever you want.
00:22:38With me, it's like painting a ship with polka dots.
00:22:40I'm going to the bar because at least someone there respects me.
00:22:42Brothers, I wish you the best of luck.
00:22:43Get out of here, get out of here, get out of here.
00:22:45I'm done.
00:22:46Okay, well I'm going to leave because it's my job to supervise the beauty queens.
00:22:50You keep the black ones and take advantage of the fact that the pistachio duty is making your eyes water.
00:22:54No, no, no, no, no.
00:22:56I'm going to leave because I have a lot of work, and you're staying here today as a caretaker.
00:23:00By the way, absolutely nobody can find out about this.
00:23:03Is that clear?
00:23:05Nobody.
00:23:06So, we have to hide them until the competition is over.
00:23:09It's a job for the sharpest person on the ship.
00:23:12The thing is, I'm in a bind right now.
00:23:13Very important, my sister can't find out.
00:23:15Okay, Campillo?
00:23:19I'm sorry, boss, but I can't.
00:23:21I'm more involved in an operation to monitor the crown of the beauty queens.
00:23:23Apparently it's made of jam, ceviche, I don't know what kind of nonsense.
00:23:26Let's see, Campillo, who is most likely to steal the crown?
00:23:29The little black children.
00:23:30If you watch the little black children, they're watching the crown.
00:23:35Understood.
00:23:36This way I focus on the source of the crime.
00:23:38Thank you, boss.
00:23:38You are welcome.
00:23:40Remember, not a word to my sister.
00:23:41I'm going to open my eyes.
00:23:44You?
00:23:46Yum, yum?
00:23:47We speak Spanish.
00:23:48Host!
00:24:01No, no, no, no, Tere.
00:24:17The jury, not the female jury, you know?
00:24:20From the beauty pageant.
00:24:22I knew that the judge was too much of a judge to be on this ship.
00:24:24Okay, okay.
00:24:26Francisco Salazar?
00:24:27Paco Salazar?
00:24:28Don't you know who he is?
00:24:28No no.
00:24:29Chiquillo, Melody's discoverer.
00:24:30Ah.
00:24:31Because it's very important.
00:24:32Ah, very good.
00:24:33I need to meet him.
00:24:34I'm fine?
00:24:35Yes, yes.
00:24:44What do you want to put to work?
00:24:45But, no buts, no buts.
00:24:47Do you realize?
00:24:48As I am the ship's director, I have to be on top of everything.
00:24:50But...
00:24:50Come on!
00:24:51Yes, yes.
00:24:52Of course, they're making fun of me because...
00:24:53Look, have you seen what role it is?
00:24:55Well, I have another one.
00:24:55Smaller, more feminine.
00:24:57What the hell is this?
00:24:58Okay, we'll talk later.
00:24:59We'll talk later.
00:24:59I have something I need to do.
00:25:00That's a lot of work to be the ship's director.
00:25:04Look, calm her down, Jamel.
00:25:05Shh!
00:25:06I told you that you had to keep an eye on the immigrants.
00:25:09That immigrants are fine, you creatures.
00:25:11Look, you scoundrels.
00:25:14You shut up and go to your cabin to watch the immigrants.
00:25:16Already.
00:25:17You're leaving.
00:25:18Ah!
00:25:22Oh!
00:25:25Hey, that's great, huh?
00:25:26Very good.
00:25:27Now I understand why your father put a woman in charge of the ship.
00:25:30You've got everything spotless, huh?
00:25:32Well, that must be it, and also because of my three master's degrees in management.
00:25:35Yes, yes.
00:25:36You're very clever, beautiful.
00:25:37Yes, yes.
00:25:38Come on, get me a gin and tonic, I'm...
00:25:40I'm dry.
00:25:43Manolo.
00:25:44My Canary coast.
00:25:46Here you are.
00:25:46Okay.
00:25:48What is this?
00:25:49What's happening?
00:25:50A cow's had a snack here, but what the hell is this?
00:25:53Rosemary?
00:25:53But what's with this obsession with moving things around, damn it?
00:25:55Rosemary is for passing rabbits, not for being inside a glass.
00:25:58Here you go, we're getting all modern and we really are...
00:26:01What the hell is this crap?
00:26:03Listen to me, listen to me.
00:26:04I'm going to give you an English lesson.
00:26:05Gin, gin, tonic, tonic.
00:26:08So, you can take this mixed salad you gave me, please.
00:26:11Come on, man.
00:26:13Yes sir.
00:26:14Yes sir.
00:26:15That's how it's done, right?
00:26:16The classic gin and tonic, in a tall glass, with four ice cubes and two gulps, right?
00:26:21Very good.
00:26:23I was really looking forward to meeting a gentleman like myself, you know?
00:26:27Who are you, Captain?
00:26:28No.
00:26:29If you agree, I'm going to make my First Communion.
00:26:30It doesn't bother you.
00:26:38But where is that glue?
00:26:40Oh, but why are you trembling, woman?
00:26:42I'm just nervous.
00:26:44As if your crown had fallen to the ground again.
00:26:46I see you working on this ship until you die.
00:26:48Pay close attention to what I'm telling you, okay?
00:26:49Well, that doesn't help me, does it?
00:26:50Can you help us?
00:26:50No.
00:26:51We need something that sticks really hard.
00:26:53Well, you've given me quite a slap on the head.
00:26:55That the "facing the tap" thing was a joke.
00:26:56Don't call me that!
00:26:58Let's see, the crown.
00:27:01This will show you how it will work.
00:27:05Yeah.
00:27:05Let's see, let's see.
00:27:07Right there.
00:27:10Look, it seems to pass muster.
00:27:11Yeah?
00:27:14But what did you do with your fancy jewelry when it broke?
00:27:17Hello?
00:27:17Well, I threw it away and asked you to do something else.
00:27:24Little girl.
00:27:25This way.
00:27:27Damn, what a mess.
00:27:27We have a huge problem now.
00:27:29One of the jury members has dropped out.
00:27:30But literally, huh?
00:27:31From a chairlift.
00:27:32Hip fracture.
00:27:33Let's see what happens now...
00:27:34Ah, look.
00:27:35I want a gentleman to replace him.
00:27:37A gentleman through and through.
00:27:39The captain.
00:27:41The captain?
00:27:41What's happening?
00:27:42Is there a problem or what?
00:27:43No, no, no.
00:27:44No problem.
00:27:45Who better than the captain to project a good image, right?
00:27:47Clear.
00:27:48Very good, girl.
00:27:48Whatever you say.
00:27:49Ah, but I have to give you a little telling-off, okay?
00:27:52Because?
00:27:53Yeah.
00:27:53Because this glass was brought to me with a hole in it.
00:27:59Bring me another little drink, honey.
00:28:02Ray.
00:28:03Yeah?
00:28:03We're going to be left without zebra.
00:28:05So go down for more.
00:28:06I want Mr. Solacer's glass to always be full.
00:28:10Come on!
00:28:10I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
00:28:13Fuck.
00:28:14You give my cellmate a knife just like that, man.
00:28:18Hey, well look, it turned out really well, it's convincing.
00:28:21It's even good for jewelry boxes, you know?
00:28:22The truth is, yes, it turned out really well, didn't it?
00:28:24Now all that's left is for it to fall down again.
00:28:26Oh!
00:28:27Oh!
00:28:28Oh, what a fright!
00:28:29No, I was just kidding.
00:28:31Oh, come on, in the end I'm not going to have a good time with you after all, Natalia, huh?
00:28:33Oh really?
00:28:34No way, I can't stand you!
00:28:36Oh!
00:28:37Someone's coming, run, hide her!
00:28:41They're like white boxes, right?
00:28:43That?
00:28:44What are you doing here?
00:28:46Let's not get involved.
00:28:48Look, Raimundo, neither you saw us, nor did we move towards you, okay?
00:28:52Don't confuse me, don't confuse me, I only came to get gin, because my wife sent it to me.
00:28:55patch.
00:28:56What's up with that gin?
00:28:57Are you distilling it?
00:28:59Get down now!
00:29:00Heard, boss, heard.
00:29:02Thank you.
00:29:03Damn, what's it like?
00:29:04Oh, what tact he has, I tell you.
00:29:05What she lacked in eyesight, she more than made up for in charm.
00:29:07Grab some wine too, I think you need it.
00:29:09Give it to me.
00:29:10Okay, you all do your thing.
00:29:12Be gentle.
00:29:13Come on.
00:29:13Bye bye.
00:29:18What are you doing here?
00:29:19Let's not get involved.
00:29:21And remember, all the drinks we serve to the contestants must be alcohol-free, sugar-free, and non-carbonated.
00:29:25Come on, water.
00:29:26And you two get out of here, right?
00:29:28You guys really like touching your dicks.
00:29:29But hey, what right do you have to give us orders, Kufu Panda?
00:29:32Well, the head of protocol.
00:29:33And you've already received a warning, Palmi.
00:29:36Palmira, Josep is right.
00:29:38He is the head of protocol.
00:29:39And as protocol dictates, the highest-ranking person leaves first.
00:29:43It's clear.
00:29:43Very good, Atalieta.
00:29:45So, onward.
00:29:47Josep Luis, you first.
00:29:50See you later.
00:29:51That's pretty good, huh?
00:29:53Where have you put the crown?
00:29:55Everything is under control.
00:29:56I left some boxes there with the belongings of a gentleman, a certain Don Simón.
00:29:59Don Simón!
00:29:59But what about the boxes of wine they just took away?
00:30:01Oh, silly girl!
00:30:03Don Simón, a wine.
00:30:04I'm getting confused with Don Periñón.
00:30:06And it's champagne.
00:30:07How ignorant!
00:30:09Really.
00:30:10You poor people have so little worldly experience!
00:30:11Poor?
00:30:13Poor you, posh girl, you've messed things up for me again!
00:30:15Come on, it's coming out now!
00:30:16Let's go find her!
00:30:17Oh, the crown!
00:30:20Captain Ugarte comes to my office for the third time.
00:30:22Captain Ugarte comes to my office for the fourth time.
00:30:25Captain Ugarte comes to my office for the fifth time.
00:30:27What? What? What?
00:30:28Listen to me!
00:30:32Due to circumstances beyond my control, you will be part of the Miss Costa Española jury.
00:30:37Although I don't think a person whose belly button is sticking out of their shirt
00:30:41is qualified to judge anyone.
00:30:43Okay, good afternoon to you too, huh?
00:30:46Uh, sorry Marga, but I have plants.
00:30:48Well, you cancel them, because the owner of the company said so, that is, my father.
00:30:52And if you don't, the only thing you'll be captaining is a ship in retirement.
00:30:56That's all?
00:30:57I'm sorry, but I don't know if I'll be able to, okay?
00:30:59I'm starting to get absolutely fed up with your orders.
00:31:01Whether it's the immigrants, the beauty queens, or Olivia...
00:31:04Oh, your daughter too?
00:31:08Sorry, it's my fault, I didn't see you.
00:31:10Are you OK?
00:31:10No, no, no, yes, no, I mean, yes, but don't apologize, eh?
00:31:14Thank you.
00:31:14Nothing, nothing.
00:31:15It's just that I'm super clumsy, I always read it with...
00:31:18Yeah, it's okay.
00:31:19Thank you.
00:31:21Well, I'm Olivia.
00:31:23Yes, man, the daughter of the patches.
00:31:24Thank you so much.
00:31:25I mean, I mean, I mean the director.
00:31:27Excuse me, if you're going to snitch, my name is Campillo, the security guy.
00:31:31Of course, of course, it's normal that you're fed up with her.
00:31:33Because how long have you been suffering from it?
00:31:35Four days?
00:31:36Four days after eight years without seeing her?
00:31:38Marga, you talk as if I hate her, and all I'm saying is that your daughter is very annoying.
00:31:42Our daughter!
00:31:43Did you recognize him?
00:31:45It's because she's heavy.
00:31:46She was glued to me all day, like a limpet.
00:31:48They might not be talking about you.
00:31:49But how can you talk about Olivia like that?
00:31:53Well, maybe so.
00:31:54Dad does this, Dad does that, damn it, I have things to do.
00:31:56Yes, like what?
00:31:57That?
00:31:58Throw that Andalusian palette at me.
00:31:59But who else is he sleeping with?
00:32:01Oh, it's me.
00:32:03What a scare!
00:32:03Look, admit it, Marga.
00:32:05You've raised a monster, haven't you?
00:32:08Yes, yes.
00:32:08And it's good for him to wake up.
00:32:10If you put her to work, she'll stop being such a pain.
00:32:12Sorry.
00:32:13Do you see it?
00:32:14He's writing to me again.
00:32:15And this doesn't have...
00:32:16Dad, turn off the microphone.
00:32:18Damn it!
00:32:23Poor thing, you can't even fall flat on your face.
00:32:29Looking at me, you'd think that for this job you need to be smart and handsome, but no.
00:32:33What really made me become Chenoa's bodyguard for half the summer
00:32:38It's about being fast, like a jaguar.
00:32:48Thank you, little black boy.
00:32:51I was testing you.
00:32:53Campillo!
00:32:55Yeah!
00:32:56The gala starts in one hour.
00:32:58Get ready to escort the crown to the restaurant.
00:33:00Don't worry.
00:33:01I haven't left her side for a millimeter.
00:33:03In fact, I'm hugging him right now.
00:33:04Are you touching the crown?
00:33:06No!
00:33:06It was a lie, I'm not even in the cabin.
00:33:08You're not wearing the crown!
00:33:10Yeah!
00:33:11Am I hugging her, or not?
00:33:12Or whatever.
00:33:13What would be worse for him?
00:33:14Go shit yourself, you crown-wearing fool.
00:33:16Moron!
00:33:19I feel awful.
00:33:20Because my daughter heard me say that she is a pain.
00:33:23And a monster.
00:33:24I've heard it all.
00:33:24Well, me and all the passengers.
00:33:26And even Klaus defended you, but I'm more with my Costa Brava.
00:33:28What a great father, Gaby!
00:33:29You are not.
00:33:29Look, Mariano, I didn't mean that.
00:33:31I mean, I love my daughter.
00:33:32I'd like to be with her, but I don't know, more in my own way.
00:33:36What can I do?
00:33:37Yes, Gaby, I agree with you, she's a pain.
00:33:39Man!
00:33:39My golden coast.
00:33:40Do you also know what gold is?
00:33:42Bling!
00:33:43Look at what role it is.
00:33:43Well, I have our little one...
00:33:45Wait, wait, they're calling me.
00:33:46We'll talk later.
00:33:48What do you want?
00:33:48Boss, I'm so sorry, but you have to come.
00:33:51If she's not his sister, he'll fire me.
00:33:53I have nowhere to go.
00:33:54I was blacklisted in the army for shooting that Latino guy, who, by the way, I still think was an infiltrator, but
00:33:58fixed.
00:33:59Okay, don't cry, I'm coming over.
00:34:00But you owe me a fuck.
00:34:02Boss, I admire you, but...
00:34:06Damn, those things...
00:34:07Not with you, you idiot, with a hot chick who was eating out of my hand.
00:34:10Man, what a character!
00:34:12What a gift I've given you, huh?
00:34:13Making you a juror.
00:34:15You are welcome.
00:34:16One piece of advice I'm going to give.
00:34:18With my wild coasts.
00:34:20It turns out that she's not brave at all.
00:34:21That was like taking a Viagra, man.
00:34:23Damn, I finally managed to lower my flag.
00:34:25All day with the mast that looked like the...
00:34:27Yes, yes, yes.
00:34:27Hey, look, look...
00:34:29That's great, I've finished my beer.
00:34:30I'll see if I can get another one there.
00:34:31Then tell me more.
00:34:34Olivia.
00:34:35Hey, wait, wait, wait.
00:34:36Okay, listen to me, there was a misunderstanding before.
00:34:39I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Olivia, of course.
00:34:42But Olivia...
00:34:44Popeye's, huh?
00:34:46Look, Dad.
00:34:46I may be a pain, but you're pathetic.
00:34:57Nothing, the crown isn't here either.
00:34:59Wow, and this skin is so soft.
00:35:03A mouse!
00:35:04But what are you saying about a mouse, woman?
00:35:06Yes, yes, there is a mouse!
00:35:07No, it's not a mouse, it's a dead rat.
00:35:09Come on, please, keep looking.
00:35:11We're going to ruin it, come on.
00:35:12It just makes me feel a little uneasy.
00:35:14I'm going to give you something, come down.
00:35:22Damn, the boss isn't coming.
00:35:25Fuck it.
00:35:26Duty calls.
00:35:27Do not attempt to escape from this room,
00:35:29Because behind that door I left a Doberman.
00:35:32No.
00:35:33A Rottweiler.
00:35:35No.
00:35:36A Rottweiler that eats Dobermans.
00:35:38So...
00:35:40Beware of Poppy.
00:35:47Poppy!
00:35:47Don't bite, Poppy!
00:35:48Don't bite, Poppy!
00:35:50This dog is all mixed up!
00:36:03Pompillo!
00:36:04Let's see if you're going to pee on the door.
00:36:06Thank goodness, boss.
00:36:07I'm running away because his sister is furious.
00:36:09But she was angry, you know?
00:36:10Not that she's good.
00:36:11That it is.
00:36:12With respect.
00:36:13That I would never touch her.
00:36:14Well, although with the right atmosphere...
00:36:15He wasn't in a hurry, Campillo.
00:36:17Yes, yes, yes.
00:36:20What's happening?
00:36:22How are my black panthers doing?
00:36:23Hey?
00:36:24Your favorite caregiver is back.
00:36:25What do you want us to do?
00:36:26We watch a Murphy movie,
00:36:27we made a rap,
00:36:29We had a math competition, huh?
00:36:31OK.
00:36:33And what about food?
00:36:34Fuck!
00:36:34The cheesecake with eating.
00:36:35Don't think about anything else, okay?
00:36:37Shh!
00:36:38Callaros.
00:36:39You're not going to work for me.
00:36:44Uh, excuse me,
00:36:45the Copacabana lounge
00:36:46It's around here.
00:36:48Just a moment.
00:36:49Okay.
00:36:49Guys, I have to go do something.
00:36:51First world problems.
00:36:52Start forming teams
00:36:52for the math competition.
00:36:53I'm going with the high beam, okay?
00:36:54Come on.
00:36:55Well, you're in luck because I'm the ship's chief supervisor.
00:37:00Mariano Santaella, yes?
00:37:02Yes, yes.
00:37:02From Santaella, let's go.
00:37:04From Rico.
00:37:05This way, please.
00:37:20Stop there, suspected criminal.
00:37:22What are you doing so close to the crown cabin?
00:37:24Not now, field.
00:37:25I've come to bring Don Francisco the gin.
00:37:27I've never seen anyone drink so much in my life.
00:37:29I was once at a wedding with the cigala.
00:37:31Come on, move aside, I'm in a hurry.
00:37:32Hey, hey, hey!
00:37:35A gypsy in a hurry can only mean one thing.
00:37:38Crime!
00:37:38Fuck.
00:37:39Random search.
00:37:40Empty.
00:37:40No, no, not a chance.
00:37:41Leave it, take it away.
00:37:42Are you going to resist?
00:37:42Are you going to resist?
00:37:43I'll put you in like this, okay?
00:37:44He turns around.
00:37:44Does.
00:37:45Wash the fabrics.
00:37:46I have here a good-sized stick with a lot of gypsy enthusiasm.
00:37:50Hey, and take it easy, okay?
00:37:51I am saying this from a place of the most radical violence, without any homosexuality whatsoever.
00:37:54What do you want to know?
00:37:55Let's see what I've got.
00:37:56Okay, fine.
00:37:56You're going to let me through then, right?
00:37:58Look, some keys, a pineapple-flavored Suburb, a two-euro coin, the card, and that's it.
00:38:02Ah, yes.
00:38:03Oh, no, of course not.
00:38:04Do you want to know what's inside the box?
00:38:05Uh, what's going to be inside the box?
00:38:07Explosives?
00:38:08Drugs?
00:38:09Stolen jewelry?
00:38:12See?
00:38:12Absolutely nothing.
00:38:13Okay, see you later.
00:38:13Hey, wait.
00:38:15I want to see that gin.
00:38:16It might be contraband.
00:38:19Open the box.
00:38:21Open it.
00:38:28Black alert, Campillo!
00:38:29Black alert!
00:38:30Damn it, we've lost the little black kids!
00:38:32We have to find them, because with how racist Paquito Salazar is, what will they think of them?
00:38:35They put them in a small boat with the two of us rowing.
00:38:37Shit!
00:38:37Oh, and one more thing.
00:38:38If you see my Costa del Sol girl, tell her I didn't mean to touch her breast, damn it, because...
00:38:41I was falling.
00:38:42I'm coming right now, boss.
00:38:43And you, pay attention, okay?
00:38:45Because I'm watching you.
00:38:49Damn, what are you doing here?
00:38:51Well, I don't steal accidentally or anything anymore.
00:38:54I don't shit on anything, not even dead people.
00:38:56That's no way to get re-entered, damn it.
00:39:03Okay, Merce, yes, yes, yes, but no, because it's impossible.
00:39:09No, because I know perfectly well that today they have neither swimming, nor catechism, nor boxing.
00:39:14or anything.
00:39:15I've already apologized to you, I already apologized to you this month ago.
00:39:19Okay, look, Merce, that's enough.
00:39:20I want to talk to the children.
00:39:21I order you to put me through to them immediately, I am their father, damn it.
00:39:26As?
00:39:28What do you mean, the fatherhood thing is still up in the air?
00:39:31And you tell me this now, out of the blue, over the phone after 15 years.
00:39:36Look, no, no, no, I don't believe it, Merce.
00:39:40No, he can't, no.
00:39:41But you've always told me that Francisquito had my eyes, haven't you?
00:39:48And what about my brother's?
00:39:52Well, this Christmas I'm going to visit my brother.
00:39:59Let.
00:40:09What's happening?
00:40:14Well, what for, look.
00:40:22Pussy.
00:40:26Who the hell is that?
00:40:30Mom, can I stay?
00:40:39Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:40:42Damn, where's the ballot box?
00:40:47I shit on him.
00:40:49And now where do I put this?
00:40:51Where do you put what?
00:40:52Let's see.
00:40:57Look at the bottles of Don Francisco that they gave me.
00:41:00So you're going to be in the minibar, aren't you?
00:41:06What are you waiting for?
00:41:07And you?
00:41:07To you?
00:41:15Hey, as a Barça fan, what do you think of Luis Enrique?
00:41:17Why am I...?
00:41:17If you have something, go ahead.
00:41:18No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:20And you?
00:41:20It's the crown.
00:41:21Yes, okay.
00:41:23In other words, it's the crown, well said.
00:41:25But, of course, you'll think, what would I do, right?
00:41:27If I come across a gypsy wearing a crown worth a million bucks and it's not his.
00:41:31No, but no, okay?
00:41:32No.
00:41:33I would think, ah, no, no, no, no.
00:41:35No, because I swear to you that I didn't steal this.
00:41:37Look, kid, you're not going to confuse me like a Chinese person.
00:41:39I'll take it to the principal and then you can sort it out yourselves.
00:41:42No, no, no, José Lu.
00:41:43Well, that...
00:41:44What a great rise, kid.
00:41:45What's the point?
00:41:59Good afternoon.
00:42:00Sorry.
00:42:01Good afternoon.
00:42:02Hello.
00:42:02Good afternoon.
00:42:14Good afternoon.
00:42:15Good afternoon.
00:42:17What a mess!
00:42:17Damn, it's always the same.
00:42:19I don't know what's wrong with this elevator; it breaks down every time I get on it.
00:42:22Does this happen to you?
00:42:28My God, look at that girl.
00:42:30It's meant to be approached from the stern.
00:42:32Come on, Mariano, sit down, damn it, no black people are playing.
00:42:35Boss.
00:42:35Damn, Campillo, what a scare!
00:42:37I come from the engine room and the dark ones aren't there either.
00:42:39Yes, I did find this wallet.
00:42:42It's the same for them, it's made of leather.
00:42:43And they're very into leather.
00:42:44Let me examine it.
00:42:48Campillo, this wallet is not yours.
00:42:50Don't waste my time.
00:42:53Auntie, the baby and cake.
00:42:54Let's go.
00:42:57Let's go to the right, which is a dead side.
00:42:59So you've lost a five-tiered cake.
00:43:01Well, it's okay.
00:43:03Now I'm going to put you in charge of watching the pool.
00:43:04Or it's too small for you to lose it.
00:43:07Inept.
00:43:08Get out, go away.
00:43:10Uh, good afternoon.
00:43:13You two, what are you doing here?
00:43:15Hey?
00:43:16Weren't you supposed to be with the crown?
00:43:18Yes, and I am.
00:43:19I am, because if there is anyone interested in doing something to that crown, it is the missing immigrants.
00:43:23And I'm looking for them.
00:43:25Have you missed the immigrants?
00:43:26Mariano, have you lost the immigrants?
00:43:29Hey?
00:43:29Piece of normal.
00:43:31Okay, Marga, we've lost a cake.
00:43:33We have lost the immigrants.
00:43:34Let's not lose our manners either.
00:43:35Look, you're going to put your half-brain together with Campillo's half-brain and between
00:43:39You two are going to bring the immigrants to me, because if you don't I'm going to raise hell.
00:43:43Okay, okay, but what's going on?
00:43:44What's happening?
00:43:45What's happening?
00:43:46Mariano, handsome.
00:43:47How are you?
00:43:47Marga, I'm going to run the errand for you.
00:43:49Very well thank you.
00:43:50But what kind of henhouse have you set up here in the middle of the...?
00:43:52Oh, nothing, we were just talking about how well the gala is going to go.
00:43:55Hey?
00:43:56Let's imagine there will be music, right?
00:43:57Because each Miss wears her own sash.
00:44:00Band.
00:44:01You don't get it.
00:44:03Ah, look, I'm going to show you, well, well, the great emerald crown that she's going to wear
00:44:09my...
00:44:10I mean, whoever wins the contest.
00:44:13No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they can't open the ballot box, okay?
00:44:18It needs a once-over, because it's getting covered in typos.
00:44:24Appointments by favoritism?
00:44:24But if this has a fabric over it.
00:44:26Well, fabric stains come out terribly, huh?
00:44:28Isn't she cute?
00:44:29The urn is perfect.
00:44:30No, Madam Director, don't open it, the crown isn't there.
00:44:33We've misplaced it a little.
00:44:36What do you mean the crown isn't there?
00:44:38No, no, no, no.
00:44:40Hey, Francisco, Francisco, the girls are right.
00:44:43It's filthy.
00:44:44We'll give it a quick once-over, you just go ahead and relax, you know that cleaning is a piece of cake.
00:44:48of women.
00:44:48Yes, indeed, that's right.
00:44:51But let me tell you something, okay?
00:44:52I wouldn't mind grabbing her scouring pad at all, you know what I mean?
00:44:57Oh, what a mess...
00:44:58Ojo!
00:45:03And now a crown disappears.
00:45:06What the hell is this?
00:45:07A cruise ship, the fucking Harry Potter school.
00:45:09Don't worry, Madam Director, we know it's in a box.
00:45:12Now we just have to search all the boxes.
00:45:14Very well, if necessary, turn the ship upside down, because I need this crown
00:45:17before the gala begins.
00:45:18We are?
00:45:19Yes, Madam Director, let's go.
00:45:21Come and get it.
00:45:22What's the matter?
00:45:23That man almost got me by the balls.
00:45:25Ah, poor thing.
00:45:26Go and get some slivered bread.
00:45:31Boss!
00:45:32Boss, I'm here, boss!
00:45:34Boss?
00:45:35Oh, damn, it's the smoke detractor.
00:45:37Here.
00:45:37Boss!
00:45:38Boss!
00:45:39I'm in position.
00:45:40What are the orders?
00:45:42Just shut up for now.
00:45:44I'm going to make your eyes, little field.
00:45:49I've got them!
00:45:49Go to aisle 12!
00:45:51Affirmative!
00:45:54Look at those bastards!
00:45:56They stole the cake.
00:45:57They carry her around like she's the Virgin of Macarena.
00:45:59Are you on the 12th?
00:46:00I'm here!
00:46:02I've gotten myself into a mess!
00:46:03Go to channel 13!
00:46:11Quick, come back, little field!
00:46:12Go to hell!
00:46:15Campillo, not at number 13, damn it!
00:46:16To the 15th!
00:46:17Hey!
00:46:20There is no 15, sir!
00:46:21Well, where were you before, you little rascal!
00:46:23Okay!
00:46:31Where are you, boss?
00:46:32Damn, field!
00:46:33Why don't you try harder?
00:46:34So what's going on, you pig, damn it?
00:46:36We've already lost them!
00:46:40Boss!
00:46:41What's up, Campillo?
00:46:42I've found the immigrants.
00:46:43And with the cake.
00:46:46You make me feel proud, Campillo.
00:46:47Fuck!
00:47:00Fuck!
00:47:12Fuck!
00:47:16Francis!
00:47:18This flower centerpiece.
00:47:20Very good, Marga, of course.
00:47:21Very good idea.
00:47:22No, no, much better, a mop.
00:47:25Excellent!
00:47:26We canceled the crown.
00:47:26How are we going to crown anyone with a mop?
00:47:29Fixed, it is crowned with a crown.
00:47:30Honestly, Marga, you have to have a little bit of...
00:47:33Look, then they say I'm the sexist one.
00:47:34Come on, come on.
00:47:35Fly, little dove!
00:47:36Goes!
00:47:37Come on!
00:47:37Come on!
00:47:38Child!
00:47:40Olivia!
00:47:43Are you still angry, friend?
00:47:47Hey, Gabriel!
00:47:49What's up, champ?
00:47:50Hey, I see you.
00:47:51You seem a little overwhelmed.
00:47:52TRUE?
00:47:53Don't worry about having to choose the winner.
00:47:55No problem.
00:47:56Miss Costa Canaria will take the crown.
00:47:59I already crowned her last night.
00:48:02I don't know if you understand me.
00:48:03Of course, if the contest were Miss Elegance,
00:48:05You'd win it hands down.
00:48:07Thank you very much, Captain.
00:48:10Come on, it's about to start.
00:48:12Come on.
00:48:13Welcome to Spain, international channel.
00:48:16The Miss Costa Española 2015 gala begins.
00:48:19But first, the parade and many more surprises.
00:48:22Let's give a big round of applause to the contestants for the crown.
00:48:31Miss Costa Cantabria.
00:48:36Miss Costa Balear.
00:48:40Miss Costa Marese.
00:48:44Miss Costa del Sol.
00:48:49Miss Costa Tropical.
00:48:52Miss Costa Verde.
00:48:56And Miss Costa Canarias.
00:49:03What are you doing?
00:49:04Do I need the crown?
00:49:05Yes, yes.
00:49:06Yes, Madam Director.
00:49:08We're looking for the box.
00:49:09As soon as it appears...
00:49:10Where are you?
00:49:11Useless.
00:49:11Hey, there's no need to be disrespectful, okay?
00:49:14Hey, the cake.
00:49:15Let's see if I can finally get laid, huh?
00:49:16What did you say?
00:49:17No, nothing, cut and change.
00:49:20Where is the box?
00:49:21I just don't have the patience to search.
00:49:24Let's see, let's think.
00:49:25Josep came in with some waiters and...
00:49:28I just don't have the patience to think.
00:49:31He shielded this ship.
00:49:33Look who has the missing box.
00:49:36Raimundo.
00:49:37The criminal.
00:49:38So every time she passes by me, I put my earrings under my tongue.
00:49:42Well, it's not there.
00:49:44Very nice, isn't that beautiful?
00:49:45And now you're going to apologize for being a prejudiced snob, right?
00:49:48Leave it for later, we're in a big hurry.
00:49:50Who has the crown?
00:49:53Do you mind if I take off my shirt?
00:49:54I'm from Sudan, you know?
00:49:55No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:49:58Oh, come on...
00:49:59Since you've set me up, huh?
00:50:00With what I have done for you.
00:50:02Look.
00:50:03It hurts me more than it hurts you, but I'm very sorry, but I'm going to have to lock you up.
00:50:06I'm leaving you in charge, since you're the lightest, since you're like that, brown or light.
00:50:09So, watch out.
00:50:11Come on, I'm not going to look for the missing black guy.
00:50:13Excuse me for saying so, folks, but there are two dark ones missing.
00:50:15We're missing one, because there were five, like the five little wolves.
00:50:17No, there were six, like the six dwarfs.
00:50:18There were seven dwarfs, you idiot.
00:50:20Sure?
00:50:20Well, the point is that we have to find at least one.
00:50:22For that we have to search the entire ship, starting with the deck, then the runway.
00:50:25Look! There's one! Holy shit!
00:50:27Run, you little cap!
00:50:28You've got some nerve!
00:50:33Now you'll see the vice presidents.
00:50:40But what are they doing dressed up?
00:50:41No way I missed the bikini parade!
00:50:44Do you know your nipple?
00:50:45And now it's Miss Costa Canaria's turn for questions.
00:50:48Our anchor captain 2, Gabriel Ugarte, will ask the questions.
00:50:51Please.
00:50:53Miss Costa Canaria.
00:50:55This is the winner, so easy questions.
00:50:58Yes, yes.
00:51:00Hello.
00:51:01Hello.
00:51:02Which ocean borders the Canary Islands?
00:51:08Easier, easier.
00:51:10But damn, he's from the Canary Islands.
00:51:11I know, but this girl doesn't pay much attention to those things.
00:51:14Come on, make an easier one.
00:51:16Yes, but mother.
00:51:20What is the capital of France?
00:51:23It's just that I haven't traveled much and...
00:51:26Sure, sure.
00:51:27If the girl hasn't traveled much, then it wouldn't be fair to ask her this question, would it?
00:51:31Change question.
00:51:32What's your favorite dish?
00:51:36Potatoes with spicy mojo sauce.
00:51:37Correct.
00:51:38Very good.
00:51:39Well, that's great.
00:51:41We already know what your favorite dish is.
00:51:43Congratulations.
00:51:44And now it's Miss Costa Brava's turn for questions.
00:51:46A big round of applause for her.
00:51:48To these difficult questions, he says he has a girlfriend.
00:51:54Who invented Coca-Cola?
00:51:57John Pemberton.
00:51:59Sure, sure.
00:52:00Naturally, everyone knows that.
00:52:02But what is the formula?
00:52:06The formula is secret, ever since it was formulated in 1886.
00:52:10Yes of course.
00:52:11Or to put it another way, wow, I'm really sorry, but I have no idea.
00:52:15Oh, what a shame.
00:52:16It's okay.
00:52:19But where are you, Chinese guy?
00:52:20Fucking Mandarin Chinese!
00:52:21You're Catalan!
00:52:22Have you already peed?
00:52:23In the elevator!
00:52:25I'm dying!
00:52:27Susprado, get me out!
00:52:28Or at least, take the boat to Catalan waters.
00:52:31How do I open this?
00:52:33Open up!
00:52:35Open up!
00:52:35What do you think you are, Alibaba, you fool?
00:52:38This has to be done by force.
00:52:44What a distance!
00:52:45The little field!
00:52:46The crow has infiltrated the pigeons.
00:52:50By crow, I mean the black one.
00:52:52By pigeons, the rest of humanity.
00:52:54I don't know about infiltration.
00:52:56Damn, infiltrator, I couldn't think of anything.
00:52:57That the black man is there.
00:53:00That's the emigrant.
00:53:03In other words, it makes me doubt.
00:53:04Anyway, we need to think it through carefully.
00:53:08You are under arrest.
00:53:10But what are you doing?
00:53:11Let me go!
00:53:11Yes, so you can escape again.
00:53:13Nothing, don't worry.
00:53:13Damn, you do!
00:53:14Let go of the beauty queen makeup artist!
00:53:16Marga, marga, these people in suits change a lot.
00:53:18If he's one of the immigrants, if you have no leads, why not leave the matters to those who...
00:53:22Do we have two eyes?
00:53:27Well, it's not the same.
00:53:27Capillo!
00:53:29Host!
00:53:30Pull, you're being silly, you're making me...
00:53:32Thanks, guys!
00:53:33We need to get out!
00:53:34Get out of the way, fatso!
00:53:35First things first!
00:53:36Yes, you!
00:53:37I'm coming out now!
00:53:38No, not you, not you!
00:53:39I am the crown!
00:53:39Come on, pass it to us!
00:53:40Come on!
00:53:40Okay, but then you have to help me get out and we'll take her to the principal together and...
00:53:43Of course!
00:53:44Of course!
00:53:45Okay, okay, okay!
00:53:46Girls, girls, girls!
00:53:46Shh!
00:53:47Please!
00:53:47Let's talk things through properly.
00:53:48Trust.
00:53:49Give it to me, José Lu.
00:53:51Quietly.
00:53:51Very good, little by little.
00:53:53Great, I've got the judge!
00:53:54Hey, hey, help me!
00:53:55What are you going to talk about with your superior?
00:53:57What do you say, should I get some matatas?
00:53:58Look, you have the right to remain silent.
00:54:00Anything you say cannot be used against you.
00:54:03So, yes?
00:54:04Well, it depends.
00:54:05If you say "to Madrid," that's never a bad thing.
00:54:07Unless you get a Catalan judge, in which case they will always rule against you.
00:54:10Where are you going?
00:54:10Don't go in there!
00:54:12So, while the jury retires to deliberate, we'll show you the precious crown that will adorn her face...
00:54:18One moment!
00:54:20Just a moment, please.
00:54:25I would like to say a few words on behalf of this cruise.
00:54:30Okay.
00:54:33I wanted to express my gratitude for choosing to hold this splendid gala here.
00:54:44extensive,
00:54:45extraordinary,
00:54:47magnificent,
00:54:50fantastic,
00:54:52sublime,
00:54:53spectacular,
00:54:54I haven't finished,
00:54:55full of glitter,
00:54:57of glamour.
00:54:59Come on, Palmyra, you're falling behind!
00:55:01Of course, they smoke the ducats three at a time and then they can't even run.
00:55:04Shh, shh, shh!
00:55:05Where are you going?
00:55:06That?
00:55:06That?
00:55:06You're not going to a beauty pageant dressed like that, are you?
00:55:09As well as?
00:55:11Take off your clothes, Natalia.
00:55:12Yes of course.
00:55:13Am I going to show you the boogeyman?
00:55:14Listen to me, come on, listen to me, go on.
00:55:18Talia!
00:55:21Immense!
00:55:24Titanic!
00:55:27Molongui!
00:55:27Thank you!
00:55:28To you!
00:55:28Thank you!
00:55:29We can see that she really enjoyed the gala.
00:55:30Yes, I really enjoyed the gala because it was wonderful.
00:55:35tremendous...
00:55:35We now proceed to reveal the star of the evening, the crown!
00:55:43Where is the crown?
00:55:49It's dark!
00:55:51Thank you!
00:56:00Thank you!
00:56:01Everything is under control.
00:56:02There's nothing to see here.
00:56:03You can continue with the gala.
00:56:05But what's the point of a gala if there's no crown?
00:56:07Yes, yes.
00:56:08Of course there's a crown.
00:56:11In fact, she's going to deliver it to none other than my own family...
00:56:17Fuerte Banús 2014!
00:56:19A big round of applause, friends!
00:56:28But what is this, Marga?
00:56:29What's going on here?
00:56:30Francisco, this has been a surprise from Ancla 2 to add a little glamour to the gala.
00:56:34What do you think?
00:56:35What a surprise!
00:56:35Paco, with your permission, give me the microphone.
00:56:38Okay, and without further ado, let's proceed to open the envelope to find out who the winner is.
00:56:43this wonderful competition.
00:56:44And now, without further ado, well, what she said.
00:56:49Who should I give it to?
00:56:49Me.
00:56:50Well, the winner is...
00:56:56Come on.
00:56:58Come on, let's go.
00:57:00The winner is Miss Costa Canaria.
00:57:03A loud and well-deserved round of applause for the rightful winner.
00:57:13My goodness, what an image we've given, daughter.
00:57:16I wish childbirth would cover my whole face.
00:57:18Oh!
00:57:19Come on!
00:57:23What did she tell you, my mother?
00:57:25Shut up, Francisco, shut up!
00:57:27What are you saying?
00:57:28But yes, that one's ready to be landed, but in the back hangar, that's for sure.
00:57:32Come on!
00:57:35Look, look, look!
00:57:36Look, let me, go ahead, go ahead, don't force me to play the idiot of a jury member who drools over my girlfriend,
00:57:41But if you say anything about my daughter again, I swear I'll staple your balls to the anchor.
00:57:44Can you hear what I'm saying?
00:57:45What have you done to my daughter, Francisco Sázar?
00:57:47Leave it, leave it, where is it?
00:57:48Have you messed with my daughter?
00:57:49No.
00:57:49Leave it, leave it.
00:57:50No!
00:57:50Varga, come on!
00:57:51Varga!
00:57:55Varga, screw the gala!
00:57:56Varga, screw the gala!
00:57:57No, no, no!
00:57:58This is the true face of Margarita Santaella!
00:58:00Let all of Spain know!
00:58:01Have you seen the mess Dad's making?
00:58:03I already told you.
00:58:03By the way, greetings to your new girlfriend, whoever she is.
00:58:06No, Rosa Corona!
00:58:06Give me the fucking crown, I earned it!
00:58:09No, I won't keep quiet!
00:58:17Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:58:18You know what?
00:58:19I'm super clumsy and, well, if that's going to be like the sea keeps moving, well...
00:58:22No, it's okay.
00:58:23I'll start working with you here tomorrow.
00:58:25Oh, really?
00:58:25By no means.
00:58:26Am...
00:58:26Olivia.
00:58:27Yes, yes.
00:58:28No, I remember now.
00:58:29No, it's okay.
00:58:30Wait.
00:58:33Well, that's it.
00:58:34Welcome.
00:58:35Look, your first task is going to be to go to the warehouse
00:58:40And you're bringing some porcelain cups
00:58:42that we lack...
00:58:43I won't be long, okay?
00:58:44No, no, no.
00:58:44Go ahead, go ahead.
00:58:45I have a valley, please, have one.
00:58:58Don't shout!
00:58:58Don't shout!
00:58:59Don't shout!
00:58:59Please don't shout.
00:59:01I need your help.
00:59:03Take care of them, okay?
00:59:04Don't give the short boy whole milk, it makes him very sick.
00:59:07And the chubby one likes to have his ear scratched here, behind his ear.
00:59:09What a pity.
00:59:10They don't cause any trouble.
00:59:12Sorry, boss, but I could swear we're still missing one, huh?
00:59:15Don't start, Campillo, okay?
00:59:16I assure you.
00:59:16Don't you see I have a photographic memory?
00:59:18Look, I'm going to turn around and you can ask me anything about the deck.
00:59:21I have the bookshelf in my head.
00:59:22Come on.
00:59:24How many sunbeds are there?
00:59:29Very good.
00:59:31It's a trick question, there isn't one.
00:59:33There are four, Campillo.
00:59:34There are four sunbeds and one idiot.
00:59:37Go on, throw it.
00:59:38Yes, yes, yes.
00:59:40I know that hitting Salazar wasn't the best thing to do, but Gabriel was defending your
00:59:43granddaughter.
00:59:44Dad, dad, dad.
00:59:45Dad, it's Mariano, did you buy me the iPhone 6?
00:59:47Hey?
00:59:49Yeah.
00:59:50Yes, yes, yes.
00:59:53Damn, man.
00:59:54Did I want the silver one?
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