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00:00:04Deaf! Shoulder your weapon!
00:00:06Not you, not the tank one, damn it.
00:00:10There's one about boats, one about boats, says one.
00:00:13Do you know where the captain is?
00:00:14He says, please, please, do you know where the captain is?
00:00:16Please, the boat to the right.
00:00:18Maria, I'm not sorry.
00:00:20I had to kick you in the head a lot in your mom's tummy, didn't I?
00:00:23I'm sorry I took out your eye too.
00:00:25Oh no, that's not funny, it's true.
00:00:29Hello everyone, I'll be brief.
00:00:33Please, captain, please.
00:00:35Please.
00:00:37I'll be brief because I've discovered that you understand simple sentences much better.
00:00:41Oh, well I know four that even my bed doesn't have.
00:00:43Well, no, come on.
00:00:45I have called this meeting because...
00:00:47Chenoa is coming!
00:00:48Yes, Chenoa is coming with Bisbal because they're back together!
00:00:51I can't believe this, seriously! Let's go world, boss!
00:00:54Enough is enough!
00:00:56Nobody's coming, I was just kidding.
00:00:58Well, I think it's in very bad taste, if you don't mind me saying so.
00:01:00Because Chenoa had a terrible time, damn it.
00:01:02It was during that time that he composed "En tu cruz me clavaste" (You nailed me to your cross).
00:01:07I can't take it anymore, I know.
00:01:09But to his kisses and his body, I feel tied down.
00:01:13Silence, be quiet.
00:01:15Okay, to celebrate the Chinese New Year we're going to organize an oriental gala.
00:01:20There will be sushi and an open bar.
00:01:22Oh!
00:01:22And I can dress up as a heisa and sing.
00:01:25Also, many people tell me that I sound like I'm speaking Chinese.
00:01:27Yes, no, and maybe.
00:01:29Yes, it sounds like you speak Chinese.
00:01:30You're not going to sing dressed like a clown, and I might drown you in the pool if you suggest it again.
00:01:35another thing.
00:01:36Marga, one thing, can I call a friend who expels a Bim-Pom ball from her vagina?
00:01:41Wow, that's cool!
00:01:42Besides, that's super Asian.
00:01:44Neither?
00:01:45Very well, you're not very worldly.
00:01:47Okay, let's continue talking, adults, please.
00:01:49The person in charge of the gala, of course, will be Josep.
00:01:52And that way he can advise us on oriental matters.
00:01:55I do it, but the most eastern place I know is Girona.
00:01:58Don't you know how to do anything oriental?
00:02:00But you've seen your own face, you creature.
00:02:02Why? What's wrong? Is there something wrong with me?
00:02:04Well, Campillo will give a taekwondo demonstration.
00:02:07Me? Why?
00:02:07You, because your resume says you're a black belt.
00:02:10Or you're not!
00:02:11Hey?
00:02:13Yes, black belt, very black.
00:02:16More than a blackbird stalking a moonless night.
00:02:19That's it!
00:02:24I'm a white belt, like Michael Jackson.
00:02:27Well, like Michael Jackson when he was white, because if it were when he was black I wouldn't have any problem.
00:02:31Ah, so you padded your resume.
00:02:33And you came up with that all by yourself?
00:02:35Yeah.
00:02:35No.
00:02:36Well, my nephew helped me.
00:02:3821.
00:02:38And I didn't just put that.
00:02:40I also know Mexican wrestling.
00:02:41Well, and I worked for the CIA.
00:02:42And that I know how to fly fighter jets.
00:02:43But when I was kicked out of the army, I needed to work however I could.
00:02:4723.
00:02:47Wait, after the 21st comes the 22nd.
00:02:50So you mean to take it one step at a time, right?
00:02:52No.
00:02:53You don't know how to count.
00:02:55Shit!
00:02:56No, dude.
00:02:57Damn, can't you see, man?
00:02:58A little more and you'll break my foot.
00:03:01Brilliant?
00:03:02No.
00:03:03No, no, no, no.
00:03:03I don't believe you.
00:03:04Are you telling me you're going to get injured so you don't have to do the exhibition?
00:03:07What are you saying?
00:03:07I found two heroes on the ground.
00:03:11But getting injured is a great idea.
00:03:15It's a done deal!
00:03:16It's a done deal!
00:03:16Dear passengers.
00:03:17It's a done deal!
00:03:18Steam trots.
00:03:20You have to be with the crew.
00:03:24It's a done deal!
00:03:26And look over the side.
00:03:27It's a done deal!
00:03:28The mobile phone and the watch.
00:03:30Tarpamos.
00:03:31Romance a wrote.
00:03:35Join me and set a new course for your life in peace!
00:03:42You can put up the "Do Not Tread" sign now.
00:03:44Don't leave this place full of footprints like the Walk of Fame.
00:03:47Oh my God!
00:03:48Did I come from the beach?
00:03:49Not even a damn shower.
00:03:50I come from the sand, come on, all the way up.
00:03:54Very good, Mariano.
00:03:56Do you know what I'm going to do with this sand?
00:03:58I'm going to take each grain and shove them up your ass one by one.
00:04:01What do you think?
00:04:03You don't scare me, Palmira.
00:04:04Oh no!
00:04:08And what are you looking at?
00:04:09Come on, get to cleaning something, something that can't get in your way.
00:04:12The railing, for example.
00:04:13You're in a bad mood today, aren't you?
00:04:15He's very irritable.
00:04:18And now let's see who has the nerve to step on me.
00:04:22Hello, Maria Jesus.
00:04:23María Jesús, ma'am, you have the wrong name.
00:04:25I have a very common face, it happens to me a lot.
00:04:27You fooled me once, but you won't fool me twice.
00:04:30Maria Jesus.
00:04:32You're going to pay me back everything you owe me.
00:04:35But enough chit-chat, shall we?
00:04:36Which...
00:04:40Relax, I won't tell your buddies anything.
00:04:43But I will tell the cops everything.
00:04:46Otherwise, you'll give me back the money before we dock in Valencia, okay?
00:04:49We are on our way to Barcelona.
00:04:51Oh, well, much better, because the Mossos are there.
00:04:53And they certainly know how to avoid leaving marks.
00:05:00Okay, let's go then.
00:05:02Coffee with skimmed milk and saccharin.
00:05:04And toast with jam and double butter.
00:05:07But that bread is not wholemeal.
00:05:09Hey...
00:05:10Leave it, leave it.
00:05:11I'll eat it anyway.
00:05:12The diet starts tomorrow, so as not to waste it.
00:05:15Hi, Olivia.
00:05:16Hi, Ray.
00:05:18Hello.
00:05:20Don't give me those bones, I'm embarrassed.
00:05:23Oh, look, since you're on the subject of shifts,
00:05:25Could you swap this one for this one, this one for this one?
00:05:28This one for this one and this one for this one?
00:05:30What a coincidence.
00:05:32Exactly the number of shifts Ray has.
00:05:34What interest do you have in working with this guy?
00:05:36I don't know either, but I really can't stand Raymundo.
00:05:39Oh, hey Oli, by the way, can you bring the new dishes later?
00:05:42And by new dishes I don't mean the short waitress.
00:05:45I mean, yes.
00:05:51Do you like it?
00:05:52And a lot, yes.
00:05:54I don't need two eyes to see love.
00:05:57Okay, fine.
00:05:58I like it a little.
00:06:00But please, Mom, don't tell anyone.
00:06:02Okay, okay.
00:06:02But you can't fall in love yet, right?
00:06:04That you are very young.
00:06:05And you have to live life.
00:06:07Enjoy it.
00:06:07Then you get obsessed with a guy
00:06:09and at that moment he's deceiving you
00:06:11And you get home and you're there alone with your daughter
00:06:13and smelling of Villarrobledo cheese.
00:06:15Okay, what I want to tell you
00:06:17You can't depend on a guy, okay?
00:06:20You have to be free and make your own decisions.
00:06:22Yeah?
00:06:23What? If you won't let me?
00:06:24It's different, I'm your mother, okay?
00:06:26Of course, you're my mother and you can choose...
00:06:28That's all there is to it.
00:06:35Oh, if it isn't my little girl here!
00:06:37Man!
00:06:39Oh, well, well, what a face!
00:06:41But what's going on?
00:06:41Is there a girlfriend who hasn't replied to your WhatsApp message or what?
00:06:43Leave me alone, because I don't even have a boyfriend
00:06:45Nor will I ever have it.
00:06:50Have you noticed, sir?
00:06:51Before, when we weren't speaking to each other,
00:06:52These things didn't happen back then.
00:06:55You should see that I was a girl in Triana
00:06:56I was always falling off my bike.
00:06:58And now look, look how I'm doing.
00:06:59Even without a hand.
00:07:02Hi Teres, how are you?
00:07:03Oh, very good.
00:07:04Looking at me.
00:07:11But if I don't fly, damn it.
00:07:14Sisters.
00:07:15Hello, how are you?
00:07:16To the gym, right?
00:07:17Hey?
00:07:18No.
00:07:19And you too?
00:07:20Well, it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to stay.
00:07:23Hello.
00:07:24Hello.
00:07:25There are no boys, are there?
00:07:25No.
00:07:26Brilliant.
00:07:27I can finally take off the burka.
00:07:29Yes, they all left when I arrived, you know?
00:07:31Because they hate me because I'm the boss.
00:07:33So if you want to leave, you can leave peacefully.
00:07:34What nonsense is he talking about, huh?
00:07:36If you are a magnificent boss.
00:07:40Besides, the same thing happens to me, you know?
00:07:42They hate me because I'm from a high birth,
00:07:43Of course, they call me Barbie, Paris,
00:07:46spoiled, capricious.
00:07:47Barbie, you son of a bitch.
00:07:48Hey?
00:07:48Is that what they call me?
00:07:49Yes, but don't worry, that's nothing.
00:07:51They call me Patches, the Pirate, the Cyclops...
00:07:55The periscope...
00:07:56The periscope...
00:07:57I know I'm tough, you know?
00:07:59But I do all this so that this ship doesn't fall to pieces.
00:08:01Of course, no, no.
00:08:04See?
00:08:04That?
00:08:05What is that?
00:08:05Even the gym is rubbish.
00:08:08In my previous life, I went to a good school.
00:08:11The Glam Gym.
00:08:12Oh!
00:08:13I was coming to that one.
00:08:14What do you say?
00:08:15It was great.
00:08:16It was great.
00:08:17I used to go with my friends and afterwards we'd have some tapas.
00:08:18In short, the gym was useless.
00:08:21And I did the same, but with cocktails.
00:08:23Of course, as always, we ended up vomiting.
00:08:25because we were losing weight anyway.
00:08:27Oh!
00:08:28Now that was a life, huh?
00:08:30And not this place.
00:08:31Your hair gets frizzy here, your patch gets damp.
00:08:34The same thing happens to me.
00:08:35Well, about the hair, not the patch because I don't wear one.
00:08:39You know what I'm saying?
00:08:40Enough with the reminiscing.
00:08:42Tonight we're going out for cocktails.
00:08:44Cocktails, you and me?
00:08:46Marga, don't be silly.
00:08:48Oh, excuse me, I called her Marga.
00:08:51And stupid.
00:08:52I'm so sorry, Madam Director, please don't fire me.
00:08:55It's okay, woman.
00:08:56How can I fire you if you owe me 22,450 euros?
00:09:02Okay, I'll see you tonight at the cocktails.
00:09:05He's leaving now, but he's barely broken a sweat.
00:09:07Go ahead, let him/her wish, right?
00:09:08And we go a few more kilometers.
00:09:10What are you implying?
00:09:12Nothing, nothing.
00:09:21Quick credit?
00:09:23Yes, I need a loan.
00:09:26Yes, quickly, as you say.
00:09:2830,000 for this afternoon.
00:09:31For a TV.
00:09:33One of those plasma ones, one of those big ones.
00:09:36As?
00:09:37What does it say?
00:09:39So I can run away with your husband, you disgusting whore.
00:09:42Damn, so many questions.
00:09:43She hung up on me.
00:09:47Take it off!
00:09:47Take it off!
00:09:48What do you have, a spider?
00:09:49No, a gray hair.
00:09:51Take it off!
00:09:52Hey, more are coming out later, okay?
00:09:53I don't care.
00:09:54Take it off!
00:09:56Well, it's up to you.
00:09:57Wow!
00:09:57That's it.
00:09:58So much drama.
00:09:59Come on, keep cleaning, you damn mask.
00:10:02I don't like being called that, okay?
00:10:08You already have my money.
00:10:11I'm on it, Jacinta.
00:10:13So hurry up, because you have two days, 48 hours and... many minutes left.
00:10:20Understood?
00:10:21Yes, yes, yes.
00:10:22You've been warned.
00:10:29Enough?
00:10:30What's going on, Palmira?
00:10:33You're hiding something.
00:10:35You have the same face you had when Bosco brought me to the ship.
00:10:37Nothing, she's crazy.
00:10:38I owe him a little bit of money from 20 years ago.
00:10:42At that time I was working in a bar on the La Coruña road.
00:10:46Were you a prostitute in a strip club?
00:10:50Waitress.
00:10:50She was a waitress.
00:10:53Oops!
00:10:54What's that?
00:10:55The fact that?
00:10:58Rotten lie.
00:10:59Nobody escapes to this shitty ship for a thousand pesetas.
00:11:01That's what I used to tip my dog's psychologist.
00:11:04Hey, a thousand pesetas back then was a fortune.
00:11:07Palmyra.
00:11:16Now, Maria Jesus!
00:11:17Come on, let's go, let's go!
00:11:18Come on!
00:11:19Oh, how nerve-wracking!
00:11:21Grab it, run, run!
00:11:22Oh!
00:11:23Runs!
00:11:24Oh!
00:11:25Run, hurry!
00:11:26Oh no, it's opening!
00:11:28Ah, paint!
00:11:30Oops!
00:11:31But so much money!
00:11:32Oops!
00:11:33Oh well!
00:11:34There are at least five million pesetas here.
00:11:36Wow, what a life!
00:11:37We're going to Brazil!
00:11:39Oh, run, run!
00:11:40Hey, grab some condoms.
00:11:42But make sure they're XL!
00:11:43Because black people there have very large penises.
00:11:48And you look beautiful!
00:11:50Now it all makes sense.
00:11:52You were a little naughty.
00:11:53He was young and had money.
00:11:55Besides, five years in jail isn't that bad, is it?
00:11:57That he later lost a kidney in the riot is no longer my fault.
00:12:00Oh my God!
00:12:01Five years in prison!
00:12:02Imagine how awful that would be!
00:12:04The strange thing is that she's not bald because they don't have conditioner there, right?
00:12:06Oh!
00:12:08And what did you need the money for?
00:12:10To need, to need...
00:12:11I spent it in Benidorm, the city of sin.
00:12:14That's where I met Manolo.
00:12:16At a consortium concert.
00:12:17What a man!
00:12:19Trucker by day, I arrive by night.
00:12:20Well, to get five million pesetas, you would need to clean approximately five million cabins.
00:12:27Or one, if you know exactly which one to look for.
00:12:36Ah!
00:12:37Are you sure you want to get hurt?
00:12:38Does knee repair hurt?
00:12:40Yes, yes, I'm limbed.
00:12:41Come on.
00:12:42And that's it!
00:12:44What, I can't hurt anyone?
00:12:47Well, I'll just have to confess to the director that I don't know taekwondo and I'll be going back to my old job as a security guard at the
00:12:50Prika.
00:12:51Oh no, shit, they closed them!
00:12:53Damn, I'm going to be a bum!
00:12:54Well, why don't you put on your tutu?
00:12:56What, you don't let anyone learn?
00:12:57Tutu, but what good is learning, Vale?
00:12:59No, kid, the tutu.
00:13:00The internet video page.
00:13:02Ah, YouTube.
00:13:04So, the tutu.
00:13:05And there you can learn taekwondo perfectly.
00:13:07Thank you.
00:13:08No, thank you for the YouTube thing.
00:13:10Nothing.
00:13:15Shit.
00:13:16Wait.
00:13:16Hey, Tere, wait.
00:13:19Untie me!
00:13:22Calm down, buddy.
00:13:24That's what they trained you for in the Prika.
00:13:26I know!
00:13:27Why does he hear?
00:13:29My God, what a bullet.
00:13:33Listen, Mariano, Bolivia has me worried.
00:13:36Don't you think she looks a little strange?
00:13:38Damn, Gabi, Olivia has been weird since she was born.
00:13:39who made the Santillana holiday workbooks in winter.
00:13:41No, I mean weirder than normal.
00:13:43She spoke to me terribly this morning.
00:13:45I mentioned something to her about a boyfriend and she got really angry.
00:13:47Uh, those guys who counted the key?
00:13:48Which key?
00:13:49The one at the door.
00:13:50Which door?
00:13:50Damn, the one in the closet.
00:13:51Look, Mariano, I have to dock the ship in ten minutes.
00:13:54Either you explain yourself once and for all, or I'll tell the passengers to jump overboard.
00:13:56Fuck!
00:13:57Gabi, Olivia is a lesbian, you're forcing me to tell you.
00:13:59Don't you see that the only thing she puts between her legs is a cello?
00:14:01Does that have the shape of a woman?
00:14:02What do you say?
00:14:02Man, the woman has a big butt, which is always a problem.
00:14:04Why the hell would she be a lesbian?
00:14:06Use your jatador.
00:14:07Let's see, Gabi, Olivia was raised by Marga,
00:14:09She is a bitter and resentful woman who hates men.
00:14:12Now, for her, a penis is like the boogeyman.
00:14:15But do you think she doesn't like boys?
00:14:17Look, look how he reacts to that Herculean body.
00:14:19He doesn't even look at it.
00:14:20Damn, even my eyes are drawn to it.
00:14:21Damn, you're going to be right, in the end it's going to be a Bollicao.
00:14:24Don't worry, lesbianism is a fad.
00:14:29Sure, and we give her electric shocks, or sprinkle her with holy water.
00:14:32What are you saying, man?
00:14:32If you mix that, you'll electrocute her.
00:14:34Look, Mariano, I even think it's fine that he likes women.
00:14:37Look, we finally have something in common.
00:14:39Where was that ass?
00:14:40Look, there, at three fifteen.
00:14:43Take advantage, he's dropped a nut.
00:14:51Hey, so this is called sex on the beach, right?
00:14:54Well, if I had to sum up my sex life in a cocktail,
00:14:57Mine would be called...
00:14:59Cariñoya.
00:15:02Oh, really, how funny, Ellen.
00:15:04Oh, my friends would be in stitches with you.
00:15:06Well, especially Tuta and Cayetana,
00:15:08that with Botox they laugh at everything.
00:15:09Since they're like this...
00:15:13You two look like you're full, don't you?
00:15:15No, I'm just saying it for laughs.
00:15:18Full, beautiful.
00:15:20I work double shifts, right?
00:15:23Come on.
00:15:24Hey, you're close with this guy, right?
00:15:26This one is very popular with girls.
00:15:30I?
00:15:31But hey, he's a kinky guy.
00:15:33Look.
00:15:34Raimundo!
00:15:36Disgusting!
00:15:38Yes, boys are awful, to be honest.
00:15:40But just between you and me.
00:15:41I could really use one right now, you know.
00:15:43My last sexual experience was with a tampon and a wave.
00:15:47I think I heard too well.
00:15:49Shut up, you idiot!
00:15:50How silly!
00:15:52Oh, what's she doing drinking with the director?
00:15:55He's just flattering people, isn't he?
00:15:57How I hate social climbers.
00:16:00And here are your two cups.
00:16:02That?
00:16:02No, no, no.
00:16:03I have nothing to do with it, okay?
00:16:04He invites the gentleman at the bar.
00:16:07Seriously, what century does this guy live in?
00:16:11It will be, it will be outdated.
00:16:12And who do you think you are?
00:16:13What, girls don't have money to pay for our own drinks?
00:16:16Hey?
00:16:17Well, look, we don't want them outside.
00:16:18No, no, no, no.
00:16:20Not that one, not that one.
00:16:21The one in the back.
00:16:22That.
00:16:23Wow, what a thoughtful gesture, how elegant, what a gentleman.
00:16:28Wow, this is really good.
00:16:29Look at those eyes.
00:16:31What a jaw, what hands.
00:16:32Those hands have to squeeze her breasts.
00:16:35Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
00:16:37Look, seriously, I can't see anymore.
00:16:38I don't see any more.
00:16:39Come on, go for it.
00:16:40Yes, yes, yes, go for it, don't be a chatterbox.
00:16:42No, no, no, no.
00:16:43No, no, no, no.
00:16:44No, no, no.
00:16:44No, no, no.
00:16:44Please.
00:16:45Hey, don't be so loud, okay?
00:16:45I don't want to, but...
00:16:49Hello.
00:16:50How are you?
00:16:51In other words, it's not a question, it's not a statement.
00:16:55You're very handsome, too.
00:16:57And hello, maybe you're not much of a talker.
00:17:01No?
00:17:03You are deaf.
00:17:05No, it's not a statement.
00:17:07No, it's not a statement.
00:17:12No, it's not a statement.
00:17:15Fuck.
00:17:17I don't speak non-verbally to a guy who notices me.
00:17:18What fucking bad luck I have, huh?
00:17:20Oh, he told you he'd like to see you again.
00:17:22That?
00:17:23Am I Dutch?
00:17:24As?
00:17:25I'm reminding you that I'm posh, you know?
00:17:27Look, I had an English nanny, a French governess, and a Dutch kangaroo.
00:17:30Natalia, you have just been promoted to head translator of Ancla 2.
00:17:35Oh, don't tell me.
00:17:37Yes, but only until I get a date with the uncle.
00:17:40Well, then you'll go back to cleaning toilets, honey.
00:17:43Hey, how am I enjoying this?
00:17:50What we've talked about.
00:17:52Let it be seen and let them know they have our support, okay?
00:17:55And above all, he has a cool dad.
00:17:57Yes, but don't do that, Gaby.
00:17:58Come on.
00:18:00My goodness, what beautiful things we have here.
00:18:01Have you seen how beautiful the girls are, Mariano?
00:18:03The natural one is so charming, isn't he?
00:18:04I, the one in the bikini, would put her facing the rear and lovingly windmill her.
00:18:08But come on, they're delicious, right, Olivia?
00:18:10Hey?
00:18:10What's this all about, dude?
00:18:12Look, Olivia, it's okay to find someone of your own sex attractive, right?
00:18:15Clear.
00:18:16Look, I, for example, think the lifeguard is handsome.
00:18:19Have you seen, Mariano, what a fluffy butt the bird has?
00:18:21Oh, yeah.
00:18:21Hey, Dad, wait a minute, are you trying to say you're gay?
00:18:24So, Mom was right.
00:18:25How can I be gay?
00:18:26No way, man.
00:18:28Look, it wouldn't be a big deal if it were, right?
00:18:30In other words, because homosexuals are perfectly normal people.
00:18:33Very valid.
00:18:33Like me.
00:18:34Well, I mean more like you, right?
00:18:35I'm delighted that you're gay, come on.
00:18:38Or lesbian, to be precise, which is what you are.
00:18:42Uh, no, no, I'm not a lesbian.
00:18:45This one clings to the wardrobe like a suction cup.
00:18:47But come on, don't be shy, Olivia, wait a moment, look.
00:18:50Girls, look at my niece, huh?
00:18:52Hey, first-time lesbian, huh?
00:18:54There.
00:18:54Okay, okay, okay, okay, please.
00:18:56No, I'm not a lesbian, I like penises.
00:18:59Damn, I like boys.
00:19:02So, you're not a lesbian?
00:19:03No.
00:19:04Damn, that's better.
00:19:05Well, no, but no, better not.
00:19:08Well, what a milk, yes, better, better.
00:19:10That's it, 50-50.
00:19:12Olivia, whatever you do is fine, that's all.
00:19:14No, Dad, it's not okay, because Mom has forbidden it.
00:19:16No, she can go out with boys.
00:19:17But how can they forbid it if it's exactly what you need?
00:19:19You need to go out, live.
00:19:21Look, if your mother forbids it, your father forces you to do it.
00:19:25Don't do that, Gaby, dude.
00:19:27Thanks, Dad, but it doesn't matter.
00:19:29In short, I'm invisible to the boys.
00:19:35Look at the fuss they've made about the little girl, boyi, boyi...
00:19:37Be quiet.
00:19:38We need to make her wise up or she'll end up in a cloistered convent playing the cello.
00:19:41Don't worry, Gaby.
00:19:43The girl needs a dose of confidence, and Dr. Santaella isn't going to budge until he gives it to her.
00:19:47Let's achieve it.
00:19:49Damn, see you later.
00:19:51Already.
00:20:01That's it.
00:20:03It's clear, I've got it, I've got it.
00:20:05Left hand and in front.
00:20:06Oh, wait a minute, which one is left?
00:20:08Of course, they look the other way around.
00:20:11Look, his left is your right.
00:20:13The one on your right side.
00:20:14This.
00:20:14The other one, the one on your right side.
00:20:16No, but wait.
00:20:17Still.
00:20:17Let's see, it moves like a little kid.
00:20:20Shit.
00:20:21It is impossible to learn taekwondo.
00:20:23I've also checked and firearms are not allowed.
00:20:25I'm sure I made up some boss for him.
00:20:27Thief!
00:20:29Thief!
00:20:35Have you seen that?
00:20:37Are you thinking the same thing as me?
00:20:39I don't think so.
00:20:40I'm thinking about what's insured.
00:20:41Holy shit, me too now.
00:20:43But before that I was thinking that maybe Joseph could teach me taekwondo.
00:20:46Oh, well, me too now.
00:20:48What a symbiosis!
00:20:49Yes, Tere.
00:20:51There's something strong between you and me.
00:20:52And I'm not referring to this bicep, which it is.
00:20:55Do you want to play?
00:21:00Come on.
00:21:01Look, it's not about climbing the ladder, Palmira.
00:21:03I get along better with Marga because she's middle class.
00:21:06It's like having to choose between having dinner with a beggar or a stray dog.
00:21:10Well, I'd choose the beggar, wouldn't I?
00:21:11He's not like you, but he's closer.
00:21:13Come on!
00:21:14Less offending and more stealing.
00:21:15I'm sure that Mariano, that idiot, has something around here worth more than 30,000 euros.
00:21:19Usmea, you have a very good nose for silly things.
00:21:22My God.
00:21:22But there's nothing here but trinkets.
00:21:24Let's see.
00:21:26Boo!
00:21:28These two Ronex, for example.
00:21:30This is neither luxury nor anything else.
00:21:32Look, 3,000 euros each and you'll be rolling in it.
00:21:34Come on, let's get it!
00:21:37Oops!
00:21:37And the iPod too, which has many gigabytes.
00:21:39Fill your ass, dirt.
00:21:42What are you doing here?
00:21:43And what do you do with my things?
00:21:46Well, that's it.
00:21:46We pick them up to clean better.
00:21:49Because, you know what happens?
00:21:50The feather duster creates a fiction.
00:21:52She forced me to do it to avoid jail because she's a criminal!
00:21:55You fucking bitch!
00:21:57Oh, Palmyra!
00:21:58Well, the best thing to do is call Campillo and sort it out with you.
00:22:02And you and I, Natalia, if you want, we can solve it another way.
00:22:05Don't call!
00:22:07I'll tell you everything!
00:22:09Oh my God, Palmyra!
00:22:10You're really something, aren't you?
00:22:11You thieving whore!
00:22:12What are you going to say to me next?
00:22:13Were you in Leguinsor having a smoke?
00:22:15No, you whore!
00:22:15She was a waitress!
00:22:17And about this, please, keep quiet.
00:22:18Look, Mariano, do you remember when I lent you 3 euros so you could buy Terelu's interview?
00:22:23Hey?
00:22:24Money well spent.
00:22:25Well, now you could return the favor and lend me 30,000.
00:22:28Yes, I would let you have it, Palmira, but what lesson would I be teaching you?
00:22:31I believe that everyone has to earn what they deserve.
00:22:34And, by the way, my dad gave me those Rolex watches.
00:22:36You know what I'm saying, Mariano?
00:22:37Either you give me the 30,000, or I'll tell the patch, "This is how you hired me."
00:22:41They're not threatening, Palmira.
00:22:43They threaten me, saying that I am a person who has nothing to hide.
00:22:45Hey?
00:22:45I am impeccable, honest, and meticulous.
00:22:50How did I hire you?
00:22:51I don't remember.
00:22:52Well, there was a misunderstanding about the shower with the previous cleaner.
00:22:55Yes, she said he was harassing her.
00:22:56She was crazy.
00:22:57But, well, that's not going to happen with you.
00:22:59Likewise, thank you.
00:23:01But, you see, I'm going to ask you not to put my name on the contract.
00:23:04It's just not...
00:23:05I don't have papers.
00:23:08Better.
00:23:09I'll pay you in envelopes and screw them.
00:23:10And a contract, he says.
00:23:12And what's your name, friend?
00:23:13Well, my name is...
00:23:17Palmyra.
00:23:17My name is Palmira.
00:23:19Palmira, wonderful.
00:23:20Well, there you go, Palmira.
00:23:22Thank you.
00:23:23Are you sure that's what happened?
00:23:25Okay, fine, I'll help you.
00:23:27The problem is that I don't have any cash right now because of a fluctuation in my investments.
00:23:30A matter involving a full Js Cash, a very big move.
00:23:33But I'm coming up with a better plan.
00:23:37Countryside!
00:23:42Okay, there it is.
00:23:43Okay, Campiño, have you understood the plan to help Palmira get rid of that aunt?
00:23:46Come on, repeat it to me in your own words.
00:23:48Can't.
00:23:49In secret?
00:23:49No, no, no.
00:23:50The plan is secret.
00:23:51You're going to pretend to be a secret police officer.
00:23:53No, no, no.
00:23:53And you're going to make me look like a baker?
00:23:55No way.
00:23:55You haven't understood anything.
00:23:57Yes, I get it.
00:23:58A secret police officer would never admit to being one.
00:24:00Because otherwise, it would cease to be a secret.
00:24:02He would just be a policeman.
00:24:03Police shouting.
00:24:04So now I'm going to pretend I'm an undercover cop pretending to be a baker who's tired of making
00:24:08little biscuits.
00:24:10Your children don't come down from up there, do they?
00:24:12You're going to be taken for a police officer, period.
00:24:14Come on, your turn.
00:24:17Oh, handsome.
00:24:19I wish I were chewing gum so you could blow bubbles on me with your tongue!
00:24:24I'm busy right now, ma'am, but congratulations on the metaphor.
00:24:27Oh, look, the loving one.
00:24:35Hey, I haven't told you what I'm going to use your 30,000 euros for.
00:24:39For a few liposuction procedures, I imagine.
00:24:41Well, look, because I'm so cool, I'm going to call 091 right now to have the whole port filled with
00:24:47Lumber.
00:24:49Admit it, Jacinta.
00:24:49You can't catch me.
00:24:51Are you sure?
00:24:52Secret police.
00:24:53What are you guys up to, huh?
00:24:54Oh, no.
00:24:55Loose releases.
00:24:55Well, you have to start somewhere.
00:24:56Come on, scatter.
00:24:58Don't tell him anything, please.
00:25:00Don't say anything to him.
00:25:00Take it away, take it away, take it away.
00:25:01Agent!
00:25:01Agent!
00:25:02Come on, come on, please.
00:25:03Come on, officer.
00:25:04Look, I want to report a...
00:25:05Oh, well.
00:25:07What an arm.
00:25:08This is a crime too, you know?
00:25:10Well, what I wanted to report...
00:25:11I want to tell you that I want to report a crime.
00:25:12Can you see this woman?
00:25:13She is a criminal because she robbed a brothel and her identity is false.
00:25:19We have a 3-5 alpha.
00:25:21Don't worry, ma'am.
00:25:21She will face the full force of the law.
00:25:23Very good.
00:25:23Come here.
00:25:24You are under arrest, imposter.
00:25:26He has the right to remain silent, but one word from him will be enough to heal me.
00:25:29No, no, no.
00:25:30Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see.
00:25:31This is all very strange.
00:25:33Show me the license plate.
00:25:37No, show it to me more slowly, I haven't seen it.
00:25:39Going any slower is forbidden by the king.
00:25:43What does it say about the king?
00:25:44Not for the king, not for the king.
00:25:47Here, son, here.
00:25:48You have 24 hours to bring the money.
00:25:51Otherwise, I'll alert my Bulgarian friends and they'll give you a little pat on the back in jail, sweetheart.
00:25:57Go rot there.
00:25:59I don't understand it, really.
00:26:00How did he find out?
00:26:00He did a fantastic job.
00:26:02He's even done the voice of Bruce Willis.
00:26:03Oh, what a smell in the air.
00:26:05Let's see if you can find the one you were missing at birth.
00:26:07Ada!
00:26:09What a mess, huh?
00:26:10You didn't tell me that everything was going to be alright.
00:26:12Didn't you say so?
00:26:13Okay, calm down, Palmira, it's not my fault.
00:26:15I'll kill you.
00:26:16I'll kill you, Mariano.
00:26:18That is.
00:26:19We have to kill you, Palmira.
00:26:21Try to go to the middle.
00:26:22I don't mean it.
00:26:23But let me explain it to you.
00:26:25Let go of my testicles, please.
00:26:32It's been so long since I've been out to pick someone up that I don't even know how to wear a low-cut top, damn it.
00:26:36Because, look, that's a bit of a cheeky thing to do.
00:26:38But that's very nun-like, isn't it?
00:26:40Look.
00:26:41And so.
00:26:42Oh, wait.
00:26:43Wait, I'm stuck on Tete's level.
00:26:45No, don't worry, don't worry.
00:26:46I'll help you.
00:26:47Let's see.
00:26:48Look, do you see?
00:26:48Ah, yes.
00:26:49Anyway, he's a man.
00:26:51You have to think that there are two things that will never come out of his mouth.
00:26:53One, you're wearing too much cleavage.
00:26:55And two, darling, don't worry me.
00:26:56If you don't feel like it, I have a headache.
00:26:59Well, here are your mojitos and your pechitos.
00:27:02I mean, little Mexicans.
00:27:04I'm doing a double tone today too, right?
00:27:06Clear.
00:27:06Okay, see you later.
00:27:08Men are so simple.
00:27:10I have them under complete control.
00:27:12Oh, the Dutchman.
00:27:13Leave.
00:27:13No, no, no, no.
00:27:14No, no, I'm staying, I'm staying.
00:27:15I'm staying, I'm sweating.
00:27:16I know, sweating.
00:27:17Good night, beautiful ladies.
00:27:19Hello.
00:27:21Tell him he's handsome.
00:27:23And tell him about me, okay?
00:27:24Talk to him about me a lot.
00:27:25Tell him I'm very smart, very funny, and a real sweetheart.
00:27:29Well, don't call her "little pear" because I'll seem weird.
00:27:31Okay.
00:27:32Just the handsome part.
00:27:33Okay, fine.
00:27:38Ah, well, I say Jack Sparrow, right?
00:27:42Hey?
00:27:43No, no, no, no, what are you saying, what are you saying, what are you saying?
00:27:46Jal Parrow said it was beautiful in Dutch.
00:27:52So, I've got it in the bag, right?
00:27:53Yeah.
00:27:55Okay, so now tell her that between her blonde hair and my boobs, our children are going to be perfect.
00:28:00Well, our daughters, of course, because sons wouldn't have breasts.
00:28:03Well, they could be obese people with breasts, right?
00:28:06No, leave it, leave it, I'll fix it.
00:28:19What? What are you saying?
00:28:20Don't bring anything, damn it.
00:28:22He's not interested, is he?
00:28:22Yes, yes, of course.
00:28:23She said we look like sisters.
00:28:26You, the little one.
00:28:28And that you are the most powerful and glamorous woman he has ever met.
00:28:33and that you have captivated her forever.
00:28:36All of that?
00:28:36Yeah.
00:28:37I haven't spoken that much.
00:28:43That?
00:28:44Ah, there are some beautiful canals in Holland.
00:28:47He's a bit nationalistic.
00:28:48I like that.
00:28:50And what did OP say?
00:28:51That?
00:28:52Yes, yes, yes.
00:28:54Okay, see you later.
00:28:55What did he say?
00:28:57Hey?
00:28:58What did he say?
00:28:58Did he say?
00:29:00She said it was a wonderful first date and that she had to leave.
00:29:07A first date, that means there's going to be more, right?
00:29:10Fuck.
00:29:11Hey, is the "leafy" thing still in style?
00:29:14Yes, yes.
00:29:15Uh, no, no, no, no.
00:29:16No, no, no.
00:29:16No, okay.
00:29:17There's wax in the store, isn't there?
00:29:18Ah, yes.
00:29:18Okay, so I'm going to underline payrolls.
00:29:22No, no, no, no, no.
00:29:51Campillo, I'm telling you this for the fifth time.
00:29:54What happened before wasn't a kick.
00:29:56It was a sardana step that my teacher Alamonse taught me.
00:29:59No, it was taekwondo.
00:30:00You gave him the same kick that Van Damme gave Bolo Jung in the final bloody contact fight.
00:30:04That's full contact, not taekwondo.
00:30:05Ah.
00:30:07Very good, Carlos.
00:30:08Moment!
00:30:09Do you know how to tell them apart?
00:30:11Okay, fine, yes.
00:30:14It was my grandfather, Chosunji, who taught me taekwondo when I was just a child.
00:30:20Ah.
00:30:21And did he teach you how to catch flies with chopsticks?
00:30:23No.
00:30:23We had a fly swatter.
00:30:24Street and listen.
00:30:25When I was little, Catalan children would see me practicing taekwondo and say
00:30:29Look at the Chinese guy's wafers!
00:30:30So I used taekwondo against them, and they rejected me and wouldn't call me.
00:30:34to build human towers.
00:30:35Castells.
00:30:36To castellets.
00:30:37And I had to do them myself.
00:30:39But of course, doing castells alone is not the same.
00:30:42Okay, yes, that's fine.
00:30:43But are you going to teach me or not, Chinese?
00:30:44I'm not Chinese and I'm not going to teach you.
00:30:47Okay, very good.
00:30:49Well, I'll just make a fool of myself, the principal will get angry, and I'll tell her you could do it.
00:30:54You should have avoided it because you know taekwondo.
00:30:56Damn, what a dilemma.
00:30:59Betray the director, not my country.
00:31:03Okay, I'll teach you, but it'll be our secret.
00:31:06Brilliant!
00:31:07Taekwondo tomorrow!
00:31:11Shall we meet when the rising sun sets over the eastern hills?
00:31:13No, we'll meet in the afternoon because there's a Barça vs. Córdoba game in the morning.
00:31:16Well, have a good game, mate.
00:31:21I hope you drown one day so I can give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, mermaid.
00:31:28You're so pretty.
00:31:30And one more.
00:31:31Wait, Palmyra.
00:31:33I need you to come up and clean the deck, it's covered in drool.
00:31:36My daughter, what do you give them?
00:31:37I don't know, I've really been like this all day, I just don't know what's going on today.
00:31:41Because your sugar genes are coming out and they're eating the Santa Ellas.
00:31:44Thank goodness, a patch will grow back in another year, don't you think?
00:31:47Hey, hey, stop staring at my niece's ass, you perverts.
00:31:50My goodness, Olivia, you're really showing off your style, aren't you?
00:31:53Going all out with the guys, on fire, huh?
00:31:56With the upward arrow you close in positive.
00:31:59Take advantage, you're in the perfect moment.
00:32:00The sea is rough, you've got fresh worms, huh?
00:32:03Hey?
00:32:04Go ahead and cast your line, girl, okay?
00:32:06Ask the guy you like out on a date.
00:32:08Yes, I don't know, maybe you're right.
00:32:12Look, look how good this wouldn't be anymore.
00:32:14Of course, of course you can.
00:32:16Try it.
00:32:17Well yes.
00:32:18Hey, of course I can.
00:32:19Let go, let go.
00:32:21Pretty.
00:32:25I haven't ruled out Leviana yet.
00:32:31Ray, shall we have dinner tonight?
00:32:33Hey...
00:32:34Uh, only if you feel like it, okay?
00:32:35Otherwise, no, come on, you're not obligated and I'm leaving, okay?
00:32:38No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
00:32:40Uh, yes, yes, okay, actually yes.
00:32:42In fact, it's better to have dinner with you than with Campillo.
00:32:44She makes me cut the steak with a spoon in case I stab her, you know?
00:32:56Your time is up, you bitch!
00:32:59Oops, oops, sorry, huh?
00:33:01He had mistaken her for someone else.
00:33:03Haven't you seen a woman around here who looks a lot like you?
00:33:06No no?
00:33:07Oh ok.
00:33:08Well, no, no, you're much thinner.
00:33:10Oh, where will it end?
00:33:11I believe it.
00:33:14Oh my God, who's going to clean this up now?
00:33:16Palmira would have been so much better for him.
00:33:20Excuse me, did you say Palmyra?
00:33:21But now he can't.
00:33:23Yes, he's pushing up daisies.
00:33:26Come on, she's kicked the bucket, right?
00:33:27Let's have a garden.
00:33:28Holy shit, you've got to be kidding me.
00:33:29Yes, I knew her, you were a friend.
00:33:31Well, I'm sorry, she'll be devastated.
00:33:33I'm devastated, but it's because that pig owed me 30,000 euros.
00:33:38Are you sure she's dead?
00:33:41Damn, it really is.
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:43What a face.
00:33:44She looks like she's fast asleep, like an angel.
00:33:47Well, he committed suicide.
00:33:48She was very nervous, saying that someone was following her, that they wanted to ruin her life.
00:33:52And look, in the end they got screwed.
00:33:53We are nobody.
00:33:54No, nobody, we are nobody.
00:33:56We're nobody, but this bitch, rot in hell, rot in hell, rot in hell
00:34:00darling.
00:34:00Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, it's not a dirty blanket.
00:34:05Well, now that you've seen she's dead, let's go.
00:34:08Yes, no, no, but well, what are you going to do?
00:34:10You're going to bury her, aren't you?
00:34:11Because I'm going to spit on his grave, you know?
00:34:13No, we can't bury it here, except in the turtle terrarium.
00:34:16Oh, are you going to cremate her?
00:34:18Because I'm burning this one down, okay?
00:34:19It doesn't fit in the pizza oven.
00:34:21Come on, let's go.
00:34:21Okay, so what are you going to do then?
00:34:24Well, she wanted a sailor's funeral ritual.
00:34:28Ah, the part about throwing it overboard.
00:34:30That's because he's a sailor, of course.
00:34:31Well, I'm not missing it.
00:34:32No, no, no, no.
00:34:34If it's going to be a hassle with everyone crying, it's not worth it.
00:34:37Ah, yes, I'll be there, I'll be there.
00:34:44But that bitch is so nasty.
00:34:46Ah, so what do we do now, names?
00:34:48Are you going to throw me into the sea?
00:34:49How many gloves without breathing?
00:34:57How are you, Natalia?
00:34:59Waiting for the hot tulip?
00:35:00Because I think the posture is very good, right?
00:35:02But you still have a little extra clothing.
00:35:04What do you say about me speaking Dutch?
00:35:06Well, so what if I did?
00:35:08I am free to hook up with whomever I want.
00:35:10I can hook up with the fat towel guy if I want.
00:35:13Ugh, no, how disgusting.
00:35:14Hey, what did I hear you say?
00:35:22No, Dutch is to be loved.
00:35:25Ah, of course, and that's why you're here.
00:35:27Come on, don't worry, the director is very understanding about the issue of infidelity.
00:35:30No, I'm looking for common interests to bring them together, but I can't find anything.
00:35:35Look, look, some glasses, a pen...
00:35:38This fly swatter, oh, how cute.
00:35:41Does it kill flies? This is for other things.
00:35:48Damn, this guy hasn't been tamed, Abu Ghraib torturer.
00:35:52So, this guy wanted to use me as a puppet?
00:35:55I can't hook up with Marga.
00:35:57Damn, with Van Der Warren.
00:35:59How do I install this?
00:36:01This? Do you want us to lose it?
00:36:04No.
00:36:07Damn, I've finally managed to find a little time to be alone, it's because...
00:36:09Why won't he take it?
00:36:11Hey, don't reply to this, it's a message.
00:36:14Call me and then we'll talk, okay?
00:36:16Don't answer this either.
00:36:19Come on, a kiss.
00:36:22Come on, look.
00:36:24I really want to try the Netherlands, oh my god.
00:36:28I'm going to tell you something, Marga.
00:36:29I encouraged Olivia to go on a date with a boy.
00:36:31That?
00:36:32But I forbade him from doing that.
00:36:33You did it to mess with me, didn't you?
00:36:34No.
00:36:35Well, look, now that you mention it, that too.
00:36:37I did it for her, so she could enjoy it, so she could fall in love.
00:36:39Damn, you only live once.
00:36:42Accept it.
00:36:42Of the two, I am Father Molongui.
00:36:45Of the two, you are Father Molongui.
00:36:47I've forbidden her from seeing Raimundo because that boy is much older than her.
00:36:50Oh, do you like this friendly waiter?
00:36:53Hey, that guy isn't that old.
00:36:55Well, yes, but you're right.
00:36:57He's nice and handsome and...
00:36:59Hey, sometimes you notice someone who has nothing to do with you, right?
00:37:03And it has absolutely nothing to do with it.
00:37:04She studied at the conservatory, he studied in prison.
00:37:06But look, they're from completely different worlds.
00:37:08What difference do you make, and they're from different countries?
00:37:10What are you saying?
00:37:11That Raimundo is Spanish.
00:37:12Sure, yes.
00:37:13But with Gypsy roots.
00:37:14Gypsies from the...
00:37:15What are you saying, Gabriel?
00:37:17You only live once.
00:37:19That's precisely why she can't waste her life with a guy like that.
00:37:22Look, Marga, this is the only time you're going to hear me say this.
00:37:25You were right.
00:37:28Well, maybe not.
00:37:30I have never been more wrong in my entire life.
00:37:37I can't get it, Gabriel?
00:37:38No, don't answer.
00:37:39But what if I'm taking it from you?
00:37:41Ah, I'm listening to a message.
00:37:43Don't answer this either.
00:37:44Okay, fine, see you later.
00:37:47What time should we meet?
00:37:48A kiss.
00:37:51Did it hang up?
00:38:00Uh!
00:38:01Fifty Shades of Grey?
00:38:03What's happening?
00:38:04Haven't you given up on Underwarren yet, or what?
00:38:05I don't like Dutch.
00:38:07This is to see if Marga likes that BDSM stuff.
00:38:10Because he screams, hits people, and the patch is made of leather.
00:38:14Besides, why are you getting involved in my business?
00:38:15I?
00:38:16Go on, go on.
00:38:17Tone it down, Chanel, you're getting a big head.
00:38:20Olivia.
00:38:21Yeah.
00:38:22Yes, yes, it suits me better to have dinner at nine.
00:38:25Okay.
00:38:26A little kiss.
00:38:28Bye.
00:38:29Are you going to have dinner with Olivia?
00:38:30Oh, now it seems you're the one meddling in my affairs, don't you?
00:38:33That?
00:38:34Yes, I'm saying it for you.
00:38:35No, because maybe when you get old they'll leave you stranded at a gas station.
00:38:38Natalia, we've arranged to have dinner.
00:38:40Already.
00:38:40Already.
00:38:40That's why you told her about a little kiss.
00:38:43Let's see, I like them a little bit more...
00:38:45How can I put it?
00:38:47Made.
00:38:48Nati, how are you finding it with me having to wear the Dutchman's shoes?
00:38:53I mean, about putting on some Dutch shoes.
00:38:56Sometimes I love to wear wooden shoes in case we sink, of course, because wood floats just like me...
00:39:01No, director, leave it, leave it, man.
00:39:03I already know they want to take down the Dutchman, but fine, besides, I'm doing a double shift.
00:39:07Come on.
00:39:08The investigations.
00:39:10They've found out, huh?
00:39:12Gypsies have very good hearing, because they have to hear the police arriving.
00:39:16Has.
00:39:16Ours.
00:39:17Well, about the Dutchman.
00:39:19Do you like 50 Shades of Grey?
00:39:21Me?
00:39:21No no.
00:39:23I prefer Vargas Llosa, or Cortázar.
00:39:26Okay, what chapter are you on?
00:39:28Oh, the one with the cabin is my favorite.
00:39:31Well, I skimmed it at the port.
00:39:33Well, don't worry, because I'll arrange a date for you.
00:39:39Great, great.
00:39:41Tell me, Josep, how are we doing with that oriental party?
00:39:44What do you mean we don't have chopsticks?
00:39:46Well, you take a lifeboat and smash it to pieces.
00:39:49Come on.
00:39:51Hey Nati, thank you so much.
00:39:53You are welcome.
00:39:56Look, look what I've found.
00:39:58Problem solved.
00:39:59The director is into sadomasochism.
00:40:04I'll call Van Der Quarren right now and tell him to point it towards Amsterdam.
00:40:07Amsterdam, Natalia, she's going to get a beating.
00:40:09Hey?
00:40:10But didn't you see that suitcase?
00:40:11Yes, it even had surgical supplies.
00:40:12Now this guy, 50 Shades of Grey, is kind of like me.
00:40:16Look, this guy's into this kind of thing, look.
00:40:21Look, they're wearing leather, but it's romantic.
00:40:26They're lighting a candle.
00:40:28Oh no, it's going to fall.
00:40:29It's going to fall off.
00:40:30It's burning.
00:40:31It's burned!
00:40:34All of this doesn't fit him.
00:40:39Well, it certainly fit him, yes.
00:40:41Whole.
00:40:44Welcome to the world of taekwondo, to the path of the foot and the pool.
00:40:48An ancient art used solely for self-defense, because the important thing is to be in tune with the body...
00:40:55Yes, Chinese, yes.
00:40:55But let's see, how do you deliver the blows?
00:40:57First lesson, never interrupt your teacher.
00:41:00Okay, let's do a tasting.
00:41:02Hey, hey, hey, let's see, let's see, because I want to do it right, okay?
00:41:05I'm not really going to look into it now.
00:41:07Damn, you know, I'm starting to think about it myself, you know?
00:41:10In short, tastings are movements that you have to try to copy.
00:41:15Trying is a word that is not in Campillo's vocabulary, like the self-important Toroianni.
00:41:22See?
00:41:22Okay, I'll tell you.
00:41:23Okay, okay, okay, I'm focusing, I'm focusing, teacher, I'm focusing.
00:41:25You'd better.
00:41:26Let's get started with the training.
00:41:48Come on, Campillo.
00:41:49Center, strong.
00:41:54No no!
00:41:57Tupito, Mom!
00:42:10Good!
00:42:12Strong!
00:42:13No, baby food!
00:42:24Come on!
00:42:27Take this! Take this!
00:42:29I am the fucking king of taekwondo!
00:42:31José, we've run out of tuna for sushi.
00:42:33Should we use canned goods?
00:42:33No, no, no, no. I'm coming right now.
00:42:37And you?
00:42:38Hey, hey, hey!
00:42:39Focus on the four tastings I've shown you.
00:42:40Ah, move aside, kid! I can fly free now.
00:42:42I am a killing eagle.
00:42:44The Jackie Chan of Puertollano.
00:42:45Serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, serve!
00:42:47Ah!
00:42:48Hey, you!
00:42:49Choripan!
00:42:50Be careful, I'll grab the stereo even more...
00:42:52Calvin.
00:42:53I'll shove it up your ass!
00:42:58And as your supervisor, boss, and spiritual leader, I ask for your help.
00:43:02Okay, Palmira needs to get rid of a woman who's harassing her because...
00:43:06through her body.
00:43:07There's all sorts of people in the world.
00:43:08And we've thought, to get rid of her, to kill Palmyra.
00:43:10Oh!
00:43:11What madness!
00:43:12But how are we going to kill Palmyra?
00:43:14That's why we killed the other one, whom we didn't know at all.
00:43:16No, nobody's going to kill anyone here.
00:43:18All it's going to do is run a drill.
00:43:20You throw me into the sea, but you don't really throw me in.
00:43:23You're throwing away this doll that looks so much like me.
00:43:26Yes, some changes need to be made, but it'll do the trick.
00:43:28I'll give you 100 euros.
00:43:29The one who cries the most gets a tip.
00:43:31Because, you know?
00:43:32She looks sad, doesn't she?
00:43:33Well, for me, doubt is offensive, because I'm an actress.
00:43:35Look, I've missed the bus.
00:43:40My cat has died.
00:43:43I have been raped.
00:43:46Incredible.
00:43:47Look, you make the same face you make when I look at the captain's dick.
00:43:51That.
00:43:51Well, of course Marga doesn't know anything.
00:43:53And my twin brother intuition tells me he's going to be against holding a fake funeral in
00:43:57deck.
00:43:58Therefore, we need to distract her.
00:44:01I have some ideas, but I'd like to hear yours.
00:44:03Ah, I know a way!
00:44:04Oh no!
00:44:05No, I can't do this to Marga.
00:44:07What's happening?
00:44:07There's a problem.
00:44:09Maybe Marga will get a beating.
00:44:12Okay, so what's the problem?
00:44:15Tell us about it, I'm telling you I'm going to like it.
00:44:22Oli, we already have dinner for tonight.
00:44:24How do you like your croquettes best?
00:44:25Bites or no bites?
00:44:27Uh, I don't know.
00:44:28How do you like them?
00:44:29No, I'm just kidding.
00:44:31So, it's brought from there, I mean...
00:44:33Ah!
00:44:33Know?
00:44:35What a chimpanzee!
00:44:36Nothing.
00:44:39Hey Facundo Majo, are you coming to a poker game with me tonight?
00:44:42I don't know how to play.
00:44:43And what about the mousse?
00:44:43Yes, but...
00:44:44Or Mousse's gambling den.
00:44:45Besides, don't worry, it's probably not going much better than when he played with Marga.
00:44:48I never knew if he was winking at me or blinking.
00:44:51Yes, yes, yes.
00:44:52But I just can't tonight.
00:44:53I have a dinner with Olivia.
00:44:54Sure, sure, come here, come here.
00:44:56Listen, the thing about gambling is a lie.
00:44:57What I don't want is for you to have dinner with her.
00:44:59But why?
00:45:00Because he likes you and you're not going to do it.
00:45:02So you're going to take the 200 euros I gave you.
00:45:04But he hasn't given me anything.
00:45:05Shut your mouth.
00:45:06This is not a bribe.
00:45:08Call him...
00:45:09Incentive.
00:45:11Incentive?
00:45:11But listen...
00:45:12No, damn, what a mess.
00:45:14Look, Ray, we already have the second one for tonight.
00:45:17Smoked salmon.
00:45:18Smoked because it has a cigarette butt, so smoked, cigarette butt.
00:45:21Yes, yes, yes.
00:45:22Yes, look, I just wanted to mention something about dinner.
00:45:24Tonight.
00:45:25It's just that...
00:45:26Hi, Olivia.
00:45:28Oh, they're calling you from there, look.
00:45:31Where?
00:45:33Look, I know what you're going to say, but I'm not going to lay a hand on him.
00:45:36to your daughter, okay?
00:45:38You're going to put it on her.
00:45:39If she wants to, of course.
00:45:40As?
00:45:41I want you to have dinner with her.
00:45:43I'm not asking you to be her boyfriend, okay?
00:45:45Not at all.
00:45:45Just give her the best night of her life.
00:45:47Yes, yes, yes.
00:45:48I think it's great, but I just can't, really.
00:45:52Her ex-husband has paid me not to go to dinner with her.
00:45:55As?
00:45:56Well, if you don't want this to be your little cynicism, go to that dinner and buy champagne.
00:46:01No, no, no.
00:46:02Not with alcohol.
00:46:03And then you take advantage of it.
00:46:05Mushroom.
00:46:07No, champagne.
00:46:08Ray, you're not going to believe this.
00:46:09I went there and I didn't want anything at all.
00:46:11So, were you going to tell me something about dinner?
00:46:14Mmm, yes.
00:46:16And is it?
00:46:17I'll pick you up at eight and I'll bring champagne.
00:46:20There, just like that.
00:46:23Bye.
00:46:28I am Japanese, Tetrian, Lamenquita and Oriental, who travels the seas of Spain.
00:46:41With a goat, excuse my pronunciation.
00:46:44As you may have noticed, I am Catalan.
00:46:45The only foreign language I speak is Spanish.
00:46:48Welcome.
00:46:50Pengate.
00:46:51Put on your hat.
00:46:52And I'm going to Japan.
00:47:00Jolet!
00:47:02I would like to ask for a very warm round of applause for Tere.
00:47:05Because Tere is a very special person.
00:47:11Come on, that's enough already.
00:47:12And Tere is leaving now.
00:47:14Tere is leaving.
00:47:15Next, we will take a five-minute break, and afterwards you can enjoy a taekwondo demonstration by...
00:47:22Oh!
00:47:24...from black belt Ignacio Campillo.
00:47:31Perfect.
00:47:32That way I can meditate a little before the exhibition.
00:47:34Leave me alone.
00:47:38Tell me, Nati.
00:47:39I have bad news and good news.
00:47:41The bad news is that I've made a mess of the movie.
00:47:43And the good news is that...
00:47:45The Dutchman wants to meet you in his cabin now.
00:47:48Take!
00:47:49Okay, wait, let's see what panties I'm wearing.
00:47:52Yes, okay, I'll bring the good ones.
00:47:54Tell him I'm coming.
00:47:55I'm coming.
00:47:56Hey, Josep, I'm promoting you from manager to gala coordinator.
00:48:00I'm leaving because I have a meeting and I hope it's a very long one.
00:48:03And the meeting too.
00:48:07Uh, the director says that sadomasochism is practiced.
00:48:13Fantastic!
00:48:21What are you doing here?
00:48:23Come on, it's time for the funeral!
00:48:24Did you see how the suit looks on me?
00:48:26Look, I've put on a thong so the seams don't show.
00:48:29Did you see?
00:48:31Well...
00:48:32Come on!
00:48:37We are gathered here to say goodbye to Palmira.
00:48:42Oh my God!
00:48:43From my life and my heart.
00:48:45Oh, how I cry!
00:48:47But hey, what's wrong with this colleague?
00:48:49And why is she dressed like that?
00:48:51It's because there are seven messiahs.
00:48:52Yes, yes, Tere, yes, yes.
00:48:54So, what does Palmira decide?
00:48:55Well, she wasn't nice, she didn't adore, she insulted at the slightest thing.
00:49:00And he would hit people with his head.
00:49:01He used to hit me with slaps, yes.
00:49:02But hey, it was from the ship and all that.
00:49:04And if not, well...
00:49:06Yes, me, yours truly.
00:49:07Take it away, take it away.
00:49:07I'll handle it myself.
00:49:08I assure you that you will not rest.
00:49:10Because?
00:49:11Because when I die I will look for you.
00:49:13And I'll spend all eternity pulling on that tacky, disgusting braid of yours, okay?
00:49:18They're sluts!
00:49:18Okay, okay, okay.
00:49:19Slut!
00:49:19Yes, it's all over now.
00:49:21It's all over.
00:49:21Oh, oh, oh, what he's done to me!
00:49:23Calm down, calm down, we're going to throw it into the sea now.
00:49:25Oh, oh, leave me alone, thief!
00:49:27Oh, we'll talk later, you and I!
00:49:30Hey?
00:49:32A dolphin.
00:49:34Yes, well.
00:49:35Okay, now let's close our eyes and think about Palmyra.
00:49:40You too, close your eyes, Jacinta.
00:49:41I?
00:49:41Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:49:42Well.
00:49:44Well.
00:49:45Well.
00:49:46Palmyra.
00:49:47Loved and hated.
00:49:50But what are we if not a melting pot of light and shadow?
00:50:06Good evening, miss.
00:50:15Excuse me for trembling a little.
00:50:16I'm a little nervous, you know?
00:50:18Because I haven't slept with a man since Zapatero was in power in Spain.
00:50:21Well, you know who Zapatero is.
00:50:24If you don't understand my language, that's fine, right?
00:50:34Well, I did understand this language, didn't I?
00:50:38My goodness, what a man, what bearing, what elegance.
00:50:44Margarita, you've finally found a man with your class.
00:50:49Host!
00:50:51Obje knia fue el meiste.
00:50:53That?
00:50:57Well, why not, right?
00:50:59Give it to me.
00:51:01Ponte.
00:51:05This is a bit bad, huh?
00:51:08Come here with Mom.
00:51:12Get on your knees.
00:51:13Ah!
00:51:14Come on!
00:51:15Stop!
00:51:17Ah!
00:51:18Come on!
00:51:19Stop!
00:51:20Ah!
00:51:20Your marriage is going worse than my brand.
00:51:23No!
00:51:24No!
00:51:25No!
00:51:26No!
00:51:26No!
00:51:26No!
00:51:26No!
00:51:28No!
00:51:30No!
00:51:30No!
00:51:31No!
00:51:31No!
00:51:33Well, everything was delicious, wasn't it?
00:51:36This is truly an incredible night.
00:51:38In fact, if my mother were here, I would tell her how amazing she is.
00:51:40Can you tell yours?
00:51:42Ray, the one I wanted to do something to is you.
00:51:45Okay, okay, well, it's better if you tell me tomorrow.
00:51:46It's already over.
00:51:47It's been a great night.
00:51:49I had a great time.
00:51:50See you later, friend.
00:51:51And the champagne?
00:51:52And aren't we going?
00:51:53It's true, we've opened up.
00:51:55Yes, champagne.
00:51:56Champín there.
00:51:57Come here.
00:51:58Health!
00:52:01Cheers!
00:52:02Okay.
00:52:04See you later.
00:52:05But what about desserts?
00:52:07Desserts are missing.
00:52:08Ah, desserts.
00:52:08Let's see, Ray, no.
00:52:09What I wanted to tell you...
00:52:10What's up, guys?
00:52:11Like scaffolding?
00:52:13Man, captain.
00:52:14Well, here we were having dinner, but in a public place and, as you can see, not very romantic.
00:52:20All.
00:52:20I mean, no...
00:52:21I mean...
00:52:22No, you're going fishing, right, Dad?
00:52:24No, I've already caught something, my daughter.
00:52:25I came to watch the football.
00:52:26Aren't you watching the football Sporting is playing, damn it?
00:52:28No.
00:52:28It doesn't bother you, does it?
00:52:29Johnny is having a season that's going to kill it.
00:52:32Johnny, there, come on.
00:52:33Come on, Johnny.
00:52:34Yeah.
00:52:34Go for it.
00:52:35Look, I wanted to tell you...
00:52:37But come on, damn it, you didn't see that.
00:52:38If that's the case...
00:52:40Oh, forgive me.
00:52:41Forgive me, my daughter.
00:52:42It has been...
00:52:43Look, I've soaked you.
00:52:44Yeah.
00:52:44Do one thing, go to your cabin, change, put on something dry, don't catch a cold.
00:52:48That's it.
00:52:49I'm sorry.
00:52:50You bastard.
00:52:51What are you doing?
00:52:52What I do?
00:52:53Damn, the director has threatened to fire me.
00:52:55If I don't want to be here, it's because I don't like your daughter at all.
00:52:57Don't you like my daughter?
00:52:58I don't like.
00:53:00What is it about Marola, little girl, that you don't like?
00:53:02Nothing, nothing.
00:53:02Yeah...
00:53:03Yeah...
00:53:03Oh, no.
00:53:04Wait, wait.
00:53:05Sit down, sit down.
00:53:06That's better, isn't it?
00:53:07Clear.
00:53:08I'll say one thing, why don't you tell him?
00:53:09Yes, man.
00:53:10And I'm going to look bad in front of the director, you tell her.
00:53:11And I look terrible in front of my daughter.
00:53:12Come on, man.
00:53:13Ray.
00:53:14Look, I thought that since there's so much commotion here, let's go to my camera.
00:53:18No, no, no, listen, he can't.
00:53:19Because?
00:53:20My daughter, don't you remember that she has to connect to Skype?
00:53:24He needs to do his own therapy.
00:53:26Oh, that's cool.
00:53:27Are you going to psychoanalysis or...?
00:53:29No, I wish, I wish that were the case, daughter.
00:53:31This is part of the issue of parole.
00:53:35He is undergoing therapy to cure himself of his exhibitionism.
00:53:39That?
00:53:40Exhibitionism.
00:53:41Furthermore, Raymundo, the first step is to get things right.
00:53:44Don't worry.
00:53:45Dija, Olivia, is a very tolerant woman, isn't she, my daughter?
00:53:48Yes, yes, of course.
00:53:48Thank you.
00:53:49No, look, since we're at it, tell him the other thing too.
00:53:52Tell him everything now, tell him.
00:53:53Well, the other thing is actually very little.
00:53:55Ah, ah.
00:53:56It hurts him even to talk about it.
00:53:58I'll tell you, don't worry.
00:53:59Thank you.
00:54:00Look, Olivia, Raymundo is actually going to rub up against strangers.
00:54:06What is a frotón?
00:54:08And that's it.
00:54:09And besides, yes, he just doesn't care.
00:54:10Old women, elderly gentlemen, it does everything.
00:54:13Yes, well, let's see, gentlemen, very rarely.
00:54:15I mean, one, two, three, three, three, and now I have a little problem there.
00:54:18Yes, it all started with hamsters.
00:54:22Hamsters?
00:54:23Hamsters?
00:54:24Hamsters.
00:54:25Yeah.
00:54:26Raymundo likes to insert them from behind.
00:54:31From behind.
00:54:32Behind.
00:54:33From behind.
00:54:33From behind, yes.
00:54:36Hey, well then, go to Psychoanalysis, it'll do you good, okay?
00:54:39I'm going back, because...
00:54:41Through the back door.
00:54:43Yes, he had already understood me.
00:54:45Come on.
00:54:45Bye bye.
00:54:46Goodbye, darling.
00:54:47Thanks for dinner, huh?
00:54:48Yes, yes.
00:54:48Fuck.
00:54:49Was the hamster thing really necessary?
00:54:51Hey?
00:54:52That's dirty.
00:54:53That...
00:54:54Ah, there's something in there.
00:54:57Life is a lottery.
00:55:00Of light and color.
00:55:02There's nothing special about it.
00:55:04Two women shaking hands.
00:55:08But then they do it under the table and that's it...
00:55:14There's something to talk about there.
00:55:19Tsunami.
00:55:20Sashimi.
00:55:21Ah!
00:55:26And now get ready to enjoy something never before seen by the human eye.
00:55:29Taekwondo 2.0.
00:55:31I'm going to start with some styles I've created myself.
00:55:34The bat!
00:55:35Whoops!
00:55:40Think about the tree!
00:55:44The mur!
00:55:47Table football!
00:55:50The maraca is going to give birth!
00:55:52Hey, I don't know much about taekwondo, you know?
00:55:54But yes, he's an idiot.
00:55:55And this guy is acting like a fool, isn't he?
00:55:57Completely.
00:55:58Already.
00:55:58Next, I'm going to break this brick with the strength of my own hand.
00:56:03Any volunteers to hold it with their head while I break it?
00:56:07What a gay cruise!
00:56:09Alright.
00:56:10I'll break it with my own head.
00:56:13Sashimi!
00:56:16The exhibition is here.
00:56:18I see Mol today.
00:56:20Get off the stage now.
00:56:21What's wrong with you is that it hurts that the student has surpassed the teacher.
00:56:25Because I, Campillo, have reinvented taekwondo
00:56:28with my Iberian lynx attack.
00:56:30A kick that leaves you in danger of extinction.
00:56:34Come on!
00:56:35You are violating an ancient art.
00:56:37Get out of here right now.
00:56:38I'll have to carry you out feet first.
00:56:40Ah!
00:56:40You?
00:56:41And how many more Chinese people like you are there, huh, Chinese guy?
00:56:44I'm not Chinese!
00:56:54Out!
00:56:55Out!
00:56:59Out!
00:57:08Fuck!
00:57:09And then they say Catalans are stingy.
00:57:11Look at how this guy is distributing.
00:57:21Out!
00:57:23Out!
00:57:25Out!
00:57:32Out!
00:57:37Out!
00:57:38Out!
00:57:39Out!
00:57:39Out!
00:57:40Out!
00:57:40Out!
00:57:41Out!
00:57:41Out!
00:57:41Out!
00:57:41Out!
00:57:42Thank you. And for the record, I learned taekwondo at an academy on La Rambla in Barcelona, which is Catalan.
00:57:55"Son of Shuh, son of Nun, well, not son of Nun, well, son of his father," he said to Moses,
00:58:03Moses, the Israelites are right here, and Moses said, well, here is the sea and I don't have any sleeves to wear
00:58:08all.
00:58:09And Joshua said that he didn't have the guts to cross the sea, and Moses said, that I didn't have the guts, and
00:58:13raising the bar...
00:58:14Okay, so are we going to get rid of this bitch or what?
00:58:16Palmyra? Palmyra! Palmyra!
00:58:19But what happened, boss? Palmira is dead! Why didn't you tell me?
00:58:24And I was so mean to her, always stepping on her toes.
00:58:28Yes, yes, Campillo, yes. Palmira is dead, a tragedy, but lamenting it does no good.
00:58:34Now what we have to do is, as soon as we can, throw her into the sea, as she asked.
00:58:40No way! But she wanted to be buried in her village, in Talavera, in her uncle's orchards.
00:58:45Uh, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, but then he changed his mind and said to the sea.
00:58:49And now you all shut up for a bit, damn it, I'm losing track of the thread.
00:58:51Come on, let's close our eyes again.
00:58:53Again, huh?
00:58:54Yes, it's over.
00:58:55The eyes?
00:58:55Okay, where was I? Yes.
00:58:57And Moses, raising his staff, said...
00:58:59Screw the stick, I'll throw it away.
00:59:01No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:59:02No, yes, remove it.
00:59:03No, no, no, no, no!
00:59:06Go to hell, you whore!
00:59:08This is beautiful.
00:59:10Woman, into the water!
00:59:11Oh no, no, he's holding onto the railing.
00:59:14Hold on tight, palm tree!
00:59:15No, no, in the end, woman, into the water.
00:59:23Josep?
00:59:24I know you lied to me, that I knew up to that point and you didn't tell me.
00:59:28But it doesn't matter, because I had a fantastic night tonight and you're an extraordinary guy.
00:59:33And today the sun shines, Josep.
00:59:35Thank you very much, ma'am and director.
00:59:37Oops!
00:59:38Cute.
00:59:42Hello.
00:59:43Hello.
00:59:44How did it go, Marga?
00:59:46Or director.
00:59:47What should I call her?
00:59:48Does he hate me or love me?
00:59:49I love you.
00:59:50I love you, I love you so much.
00:59:52The Dutchman was into sadomasochism.
00:59:55Sadomasochism?
00:59:57I can't believe it.
01:00:00And does that mean good or...?
01:00:02"Good" is an understatement.
01:00:03We had one of the best nights of our lives.
01:00:06I punched him a few times.
01:00:09See you later, gorgeous!
01:00:17And that's it, good!
01:00:18It's a rator!
01:00:28I'm sorry, my daughter.
01:00:29Didn't I know you liked Raimundo?
01:00:30Yeah.
01:00:31And of course, since he's older, an ex-convict, and you're young and angelic, well...
01:00:34Don't worry, I really do see him in a different light now, Dad.
01:00:37Remember that when I was little I had a hamster.
01:00:39Oh, you have nothing left, daughter.
01:00:41Listen to me.
01:00:42Forget about men for a while.
01:00:44You can't imagine the things we ended up doing.
01:00:47Oh!
01:00:48Oh.
01:00:51What's wrong, Gaby?
01:00:51See you later.
01:00:52Well, everything turned out great, huh?
01:00:54Even though you really messed up.
01:00:55But hey, nothing happened to you because your face was fine, right?
01:00:58I'm sending it to you because deep down you've helped me.
01:01:00And Jacinta swallowed it all.
01:01:01Oh, how lovely.
01:01:02Okay, see you later.
01:01:03See you later.
01:01:05No!
01:01:05No!
01:01:06Back!
01:01:07Back!
01:01:07It's about Mecum!
01:01:08What are you doing, you idiot?
01:01:09You are the spirit of Palmyra.
01:01:11That the Funera thing was a lie.
01:01:13That I am alive, that I am real.
01:01:14And how do I know you're not a spirit trying to trick me into entering my body and stealing my soul?
01:01:17Let's see, Campillo.
01:01:19Do spirits slap you?
01:01:20Of course not.
01:01:22Well then!
01:01:22Proven!
01:01:25Mildadito, I'm with you, I'm coming.
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