The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who you with?
00:17But it's mine. I should be able to do whatever I want with it.
00:20That's where you're wrong. Everything in this doggone house is mine.
00:23And you're not getting your belly button, Pierce, and that's final.
00:26Then you say something. Go ahead or I can grind you.
00:29Make me sick.
00:31That's a week. You want some more?
00:34Say something. Suck your teeth. Anything.
00:39Messing with a man, Ness.
00:41America. I'm at war in my own house. Why?
00:47Because I'm cursed. With a teenager, that's why.
00:52I can't take it anymore. She's wearing me out.
00:55Defenses getting jumpy.
00:58What's that?
01:01Incoming! Incoming!
01:03Oh, that's the doorbell.
01:06See? I'm gone quasi.
01:10As you were, America. As you were.
01:32I got a surprise for y'all.
01:39Okay.
01:39Okay.
01:41Monroe.
01:44Hey.
01:45Well, look at you. You got a man. A fiancé. Bling bling-a-ding.
01:54Hey.
01:55Oh!
01:55Oh, you're so amazing.
01:56Hey.
01:57Hey.
02:00Oh!
02:00Oh!
02:01Oh!
02:03Oh!
02:05Oh!
02:06Oh!
02:08Oh!
02:12Oh!
02:12That's so nice.
02:13Get your basketball.
02:14Hey.
02:18You can put it right up in there, you go.
02:22There you go.
02:25We only met, what, three months ago?
02:28Mm-hmm.
02:29But the moment I laid eyes on my sweet peach cobbler,
02:34I knew.
02:38There's my little man, Jordan.
02:40Jordan, I want you to meet Monroe, my fiancée.
02:43Ooh, I like that.
02:47Say hello to your uncle-to-be.
02:49Hi.
02:51Oh, you can feel my muscle?
02:52Whoo!
02:53Oh!
02:55Yeah!
02:55Nita-Vita, why didn't you tell me Superman was your nephew?
03:00Sup-sup-man.
03:08Isn't he something?
03:11I just had to let y'all meet him before we rode up to Vegas to tie tonight.
03:16Vegas?
03:17You guys are getting married in Vegas?
03:19Oh, it don't matter where we get married.
03:21Just as long as I get to spend the rest of my natural-born days
03:24with my sweet chocolate caramel-covered nougat-filled honeysuckle.
03:31He's so romantic!
03:33Y'all can't get married in Vegas. That's out of the question.
03:35Why don't you guys get married right here? Isn't that a good idea?
03:43Yeah, that's a great idea.
03:45Matter of fact, we can have it right in the backyard.
03:47Yes!
03:48Fix it up real nice. I mean, real nice.
03:50And I'll get a minister, order some flowers, I'll help you plan the whole thing.
03:53Oh, you hear that, baby?
03:54We're gonna have a real-life wedding!
03:58Woo-woo-woo!
04:01My baby sister's getting married.
04:05Seems like yesterday I was wiping her nose.
04:08Fixing her a choke sandwich.
04:10That's a peanut butter on white.
04:12You know, choking your throat.
04:16I was taking her little hand, walking her across the street.
04:21Now I'm getting a chance to walk her down the aisle.
04:27Rise and shine!
04:29What time is it?
04:30Time to get up.
04:32We have got a wedding to plan.
04:33First things first, we're gonna get you a wedding gown.
04:35Mm-mm, I got a dress. It's hanging up over there.
04:40Ooh.
04:41I'ma be so sexy.
04:45Let's go for traditional.
04:48Mmm.
04:49Our treat.
04:51I'll be ready in five minutes.
04:53Coffee's on.
04:55Give it to me!
04:56No, you can't have it!
04:57No, I'm gonna cut off the head!
04:59I know that's not my bridesmaid over there moping.
05:04Me?
05:04Who else?
05:06Come on, girl!
05:08Shawanda is taking me dress shopping.
05:10I'll just tell her that my bridesmaid needs a dress, too.
05:13Mm-mm!
05:14Then, girl, we can get you something that's flat.
05:17That way you can wear it again.
05:19But Bigfoot grounded me.
05:21But nobody is grounded when Auntie Benita is getting hitched, okay?
05:26Don't look at me like that.
05:28Ain't nobody scared of an art.
05:29Get your butt up!
05:30Come on!
05:30I'm not yours!
05:33I wanna be in the wedding.
05:35I have the most important job of all for you.
05:39You can be my flower girl.
05:41Yes!
05:42I'll be the best flower girl you ever had!
05:45Okay!
05:46Jordan!
05:48If you're not too big, I was hoping that you would be my ring bearer.
05:52Oh, I just know once you get to know my bro, you are really gonna like him.
05:56Mmm!
05:58Mmm!
06:01Mmm!
06:08Go!
06:09You like this one?
06:10I got you.
06:11Mmm!
06:16Mmm!
06:17I hate you.
06:18Hey, watch your mouth.
06:20Mmm!
06:20Mmm!
06:22Why do you, uh, hum all the time?
06:24Oh, well, uh, I'm working on a song to sing to Benita at the wedding.
06:27Oh.
06:27See, I only work at Stereo City on the side.
06:30My true calling's a singer-songwriter.
06:35Ahhhhhhhhhh..
06:36I need a bonita
06:40Caz she's sweeter
06:43Than any girl I've ever known
06:47No, no, no, no, no
06:54I'll get it.
06:55Yeah.
06:55wedding day that'll be there honey tomorrow I'm gonna need you to plant
07:12some flowers in the bank why'd you get a new tux Bernie Mac don't rent honey you
07:20have a closet full of tuxedos I wore those came wash my sister down our tux
07:24already wore oh oh you sleep don't forget flowers in the back okay
07:38my nice meeting yeah see Matt hey you look great is this a shotgun win should we
07:50bring our shotguns we need to bring our shotguns crazy crazy well I wanted to
07:56surprise you I invited your whole family can you give me away you want me she want
08:12me to give her away I'll be honored baby I had to come second to call my whole life
08:21wars hand-me-downs set the back seat while he rode the front with big mama that's
08:26your big brother had a big piece of chicken why I'm hungry too be mom it was
08:33my aunt she stole it from me and who told one invite my whole entire family she needs to
08:40mind her business to cut your fried boo
08:49oh big and cute you want to be your auntie Benita's flower girl
08:53the iron flower girl oh man we got two Benita McCullough getting married
08:59is that something thanks a lord thank the lord girl I was starting to think you like women
09:05all work you know I like me I like employed me what oh woo woo David got a job okay
09:16he was
09:18ordained this summer my man is a minister praise God oh David ain't no preacher not
09:23cleverly way dollar that's a preacher
09:33did you hear that David is a minister now he can do my wedding uh after I check those
09:38credentials let me see I think I'll do a pork roast and maybe some string beans and ham hearts
09:44and maybe we'll start out with some pick a pig heat honey will McCullough get married the pigs better
09:51I'll run well the pig is safe this time because I'm catering to wet Wanda sweetie mm-hmm I cook
10:00at
10:01all the mac weddings oh well see now you don't have to this time because I got it covered enjoy
10:07yourself Bernie will you please tell your wife that I always cook ain't she always cook at all I guess
10:14pigs feet ain't good enough for those of us who have moved to Hollywood
10:17I'll blow the belt here she doesn't say nothing like that I know you didn't say I didn't use it
10:23Bernie
10:24tell your aunt Hollywood has nothing to do with it Hollywood ain't got a damn you know what we're not
10:29having any pigs feet and I'm not letting her ruin my wedding oh hey I ain't marrying her I ain't
10:36marrying you
10:37this ain't your wedding everybody know you didn't even have a wedding because Bernie was scared of your
10:42crazy daddy first of all I'm not scared of Wanda's daddy Wanda and I decided to go to the courthouse
10:49after he threatened to do bodily harm to me if I married his daughter he was strapped at the time
10:54I was merely being prudent all of you all would have done the same say uh what's your uh what's
11:03your
11:03cousin's name again the one in the rolling chair Lou everyone calls him crippled Lou hey
11:13crippled Lou what you say uh crippled Lou I will knock you flat don't let these pimpy legs fool you
11:24Bernie made that boy walk home barefoot in the Chicago snow see he's hard but his heart is in the
11:31right
11:31place he's just looking out for you I know but when mom was sick and he was on the road
11:37I liked
11:37it when you looked after us we did have fun didn't we yeah well look I tell you this if
11:43things get
11:43too bad around here you can always come and stay with your auntie Benita and her husband oh I like
11:50the
11:50way that style you mean it mm-hmm my husband it's got a ring to it huh thanks okay what's
12:04that funny
12:04oh no that's the joke oh hey back it up Lou bring it on me look here this big beat
12:22you talking to
12:23baby the only thing I'm concerned about are you happy yes I love him no I do Bernard I mean
12:30I know
12:31he's no bray parker jr but i love him he he makes me laugh and i don't know i was
12:41really tired of
12:42being by myself damn my brother's singing to you and all that that's one singing mug
12:51ah look at this thing here this thing even an old bobcat it's gonna put me in early grade
13:02bernard she's a teenager you know how that was she i talked to the girl she's gonna be all right
13:08you don't be here she's gonna be all right i'm serious i polished the silverware uncle bernie
13:15it's behind the bar good night good night
13:23did you just hear what i thought i heard or this juice playing tricks on me
13:27huh what you laughing at
13:42okay my little beauties smile drop smile drop not too many and not too few okay smile
13:50smile drop oh i see you got your bible oh yeah now you know what you're supposed to read right
13:58uh right right lou no puff puff pass oh wanda come on now you know i'm 12 stepping
14:06mm-hmm i'm cleaning the virgin mary okay
14:24hey son what's wrong i don't want her to marry him look here man you ain't happy for yam benita
14:30you want to end up like cat lady up the street all lonely no cat lady smells funny that's the
14:37smell of
14:37loneliness son we always don't get what we want but when you love somebody you got to suck it up
14:43that's what real men do oh man bernie that was beautiful
14:52kind of reminds me when we used to have our heart to hearts how you gonna smoke in one hand
14:57got the
14:57good book another bernie herb is the lord's creations it says here in cypress hill one and ricky williams
15:04me too hey whoa buddy whoa whoa give it here that's what's wrong with this messed up your mind
15:08so they're trying to fight me give it here boy you want to swing mrs 3000 you want some of
15:11this huh
15:21i don't even know how to thank you i mean this is the best day of my life and it's
15:27all because
15:27of you i love you mac i love you too okay i'm about to start crying oh don't make me
15:38start crying
16:05cry baby he can call me names i don't care sticks and stones baby i'm walking my sister down the
16:15aisle
16:15he reminded bonita she got two big brothers your dog on right what i look like chalk lever huh
16:22now what he did there that was all right i got a big brother to america
16:34dearly beloved we are gathered here today in the sight of god in the presence of all these witnesses
16:42can i get a witness man with the nose ring sir with the hat a little witnessing helping
16:51can somebody say amen amen baby preach you do what you do ralph because i feel the spirit up in
16:58here today so where was that yeah
17:05yeah why don't you ezekiel go ahead right there okay that's all right chapter 30. i can barely read it
17:15now wanda gave me this old thing from corinthians ain't nothing wrong with that but i thought i'd try
17:21something a little different a little fresher i think trick daddy said it best
17:28poop poop pull over that ass is too fat
17:36love is patient love is kind it does not envy it does not boast it is not proud it is
17:44not rude no one
17:46knows how to treat her
17:51my pow my wow my senorita bonita bonita bonita
18:00oh
18:07just some boo what the hell was that sound
18:13what's wrong with you it's a nice song yeah and so michael says tito
18:21i guess that makes you the monkey's uncle hey burn hey baby i understand it's etiquette to tip the
18:28efficient that's me for performing the service what you talking about i tipped you 500
18:33two years ago for your macrame business remember that huh
18:42is that punch i like punch it's cake's best friend
18:47what's wrong with him you know
19:00hey handsome can i have this day you having a good time that's okay now you know you my favorite
19:10nephew right yes you do and i'm auntie bonita's always gonna have a special place for you right
19:17it's in my heart can't nobody change that come on
19:30this is for y'all
19:32and i know that it's somebody's birthday tonight
19:44girl you get the urge to plan something else my birthday's in 50s yeah i got it on the calendar
19:49i know you know thank you you take care of my little sister you hear me now thank you you
19:58got it
19:58i will sir yeah i'm glad that's my husband
20:05where the hell are you going with aunt vanita she said i could stay with her
20:10girl stop playing you know i got my brother
20:13i don't want to do it
20:19what vanessa i'm sorry i didn't know you meant now i didn't know she meant now but i got
20:25i know i know no words okay brother okay
20:31y'all got a plan to catch go on we got this
20:34come on come on get in call when you get there oh we will
20:40go away
20:43i would let me just say please don't say anything just leave me alone
20:49if the world is too lonely
20:55nessa she promised i could go with her
20:59nobody ever keeps their promises
21:03when all's been done all's been said
21:07you're falling through i will comfort you
21:13i will comfort you
21:26you
21:28you
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