- 2 days ago
Desperate Housewives Season 4 Episode 1
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02.
00:02Breezy on Desperate Housewives.
00:04Susan and Mike finally tied the knot.
00:07Lynette got some disturbing news.
00:10Where the hell do you get off having cancer and not telling me about it?
00:13Mom.
00:14Bree returned from her trip.
00:16Holy crap.
00:17With a surprise.
00:18There you go.
00:20Gabby married Victor.
00:21Gabby's the smartest thing you've ever done.
00:23With her bringing in the Latino vote, the governor's mansion's as good as yours.
00:26While Carlos.
00:27Why are you so reluctant to make a commitment to me?
00:30Ended it with Edie.
00:31I am done with you.
00:34But the search for true happiness led to events that were unexpected and distinctly desperate.
00:49The first thing you should know is that Edie Britt never actually intended to die.
00:58But someone she loved was trying to leave her.
01:02So she planned every detail.
01:06From the silk scarf she'd hang by.
01:08To the suicide note detailing her despair.
01:13Now all Edie had to do was wait for her beloved to come home.
01:22Hey Edie.
01:24I'm here to get my stuff.
01:25You see to hold on to her man, Edie knew she'd have to find the perfect moment to let go.
01:36Hey Carlos?
01:38Sadly for Edie.
01:39Can I talk to you?
01:41Her timing was fatally flawed.
01:45Ms. McCluskey.
01:46I need to show you something.
01:48Come here.
01:53What's this?
01:54Ah, those are trash cans.
01:57I know they're trash cans, smartass.
02:00I'm asking what they're doing out on a Saturday night when the trash got picked up on Thursday.
02:09Fine.
02:09I will take them in.
02:11Happy now?
02:12Carlos?
02:14What the hell is that?
02:29And this is how Carlos Solis arrived just in the nick of time to save the life of Edie Britt.
02:36Come on.
02:38Oh, baby.
02:40What did you do?
02:41Come on, you gotta wake up.
02:43Come on, please.
02:44Of course, had he known what she was about to do to his life, he would have let her hang
02:52there.
03:04There is a certain time of night, after children have been put to bed and husbands have begun
03:11snoring, that women lie awake and think of the secrets they've been keeping from their
03:16friends.
03:18It might be an impromptu wedding, or a recently diagnosed tumor, or a make-believe pregnancy.
03:31Regardless, it's all they will think of until something comes along to remind them that other
03:39people have secrets, too.
03:47Carlos, how is she?
03:48What did the doctors say?
03:50Ah, they've got Edie on a ventilator, but she's gonna be okay.
03:53What the hell happened?
03:54How could she pull a stunt like this?
03:55She left a note, which pretty much blames me.
03:59Oh, sweetie.
04:00I can't believe this is happening.
04:02It's like Mary Alice all over again.
04:03Yes, but the good news is she's gonna live.
04:05I know it's her wedding night, but do you think we should call Gabby?
04:10All right.
04:18Gabby?
04:19You know, this better be one hell of a wedding night, considering how long you're taking in
04:23there.
04:23Trust me, Victor.
04:24This will be a night you'll never forget.
04:30Let's get out of here.
04:31What?
04:32I'm serious.
04:33You, me, just screw it all.
04:35Let's run away together.
04:37I just got married.
04:38There are 200 people out there waiting for me to lead a conga line.
04:41Gabby, you just said you don't feel like Victor really loves you, and you know I do.
04:44I've never stopped.
04:45I can't dump him on our wedding day.
04:47That's a horrible thing to do, even to Victor.
04:49He'll get over it.
04:50But I've never gotten over losing you, and I won't let it happen again.
04:55Gabby, you in here?
05:00Gabby?
05:05Hi.
05:07Hi.
05:08I was just counting gifts.
05:12That's fine.
05:13I was actually looking for the publicist guy.
05:15You haven't seen him, have you?
05:16No.
05:16Okay.
05:17I'll give you a holler when I need you.
05:23Come on.
05:26Who doesn't wear underwear on their wedding day?
05:28No!
05:29Focus!
05:29You idiot!
05:30What?
05:30Come on.
05:30When are we leaving?
05:34So we're doing this?
05:37Great.
05:38It'll take me a few hours to get stuff together.
05:40I'm gonna pick you up tonight.
05:41Just be packed and ready to go.
05:42Okay, wait.
05:45Aren't you gonna kiss the bride?
05:54Finally.
05:56Carlos, where the hell are you?
05:57I'm at the hospital.
05:58Edie tried to kill herself tonight.
06:00Oh, my God.
06:00Is she okay?
06:01I found her just in time, but obviously I can't come pick you up tonight.
06:05Okay.
06:06That's all right.
06:06I'll just take a cab and meet you.
06:08Gabby, I can't leave Edie now.
06:10Look, maybe in a couple weeks.
06:11In a few weeks?
06:12What?
06:13No.
06:13It has to be tonight.
06:14Victor's in the bedroom right now waiting to consummate.
06:17And Edie's on a ventilator.
06:19Look, you don't have to stay with Victor.
06:21You have a house.
06:22Okay.
06:23You know, running away with you on my wedding night was crazy enough.
06:27But running away to be alone is insane.
06:30Gabby, please.
06:31She needs me.
06:32Can't you just wait?
06:33No.
06:34I would rather try and work it out with Victor.
06:41Gabby, are you coming to bed?
06:56Happy one month anniversary.
06:59I didn't know we were doing this.
07:01Oh, we've just been so happy the last four weeks.
07:03I thought we should celebrate.
07:08You are happy, right?
07:10Yeah.
07:11I've never been happier.
07:13Oh, that's sweet.
07:21I don't believe you.
07:23Susan.
07:23I watch you sometimes and you seem very disconnected.
07:28Like something's missing.
07:30Nothing is missing.
07:32So our life together is exactly how you pictured it.
07:35You've gotten everything you wanted.
07:36Yeah, pretty much.
07:37Aha!
07:39Uh, huh?
07:40Pretty much means there is something that you want that you don't have.
07:43How can I give it to you if you don't tell me what it is?
07:45Susan, I swear, I am ecstatically beyond my wildest dreams.
07:50Lip-smackingly happy.
07:53You got it?
07:57This marriage is doomed.
08:03Hey!
08:04The moving van just pulled out.
08:07Oh, Andrew, I'm having problems with my strap.
08:10Could you help me?
08:10Look, I told you three weeks ago I was no longer participating in your little hoax.
08:15That includes strapping you in.
08:16Oh, for heaven's sakes.
08:18Orson!
08:19Could you come help me, please?
08:21I'll remember this the next time you want money for leather pants.
08:24People are gonna find out, all right?
08:26And then we're gonna all look like idiots.
08:28Well, not if we're careful.
08:29This isn't the fifties, okay?
08:32Teenage girls get pregnant all the time.
08:34I mean, my ex-lab partner's practically a grandmother.
08:36Look, this family's reputation is already hanging by a thread.
08:39I mean, first people thought that your stepfather was a wife-killer,
08:43then your sister takes up with her history teacher,
08:44and now we're supposed to parade a little bastard up and down the street.
08:47We might as well sit on the porch and play banjos.
08:51Brie, you know there's a moving van next door.
09:00Mom, are you awake?
09:03Okay, honey, just give me a minute.
09:06Give me a minute.
09:11Hey, hey, my wig is gone.
09:14Where is it?
09:15It's on the nightstand.
09:16No, no, I'm looking at the nightstand,
09:17and all I see are a few straight hairs in this sports blooper DVD
09:21you thought would cheer me up.
09:24Peyton Manning is funny.
09:25Mom!
09:26Hey, I'm coming!
09:28Hey, don't just lie there like a lump.
09:31Come on, help me look.
09:33This is all the moments when it occurs to me
09:35that wouldn't it be easier if we just told everyone that you have cancer?
09:39Oh, I found it.
09:40Look, I mean, I get not wanting to scare the kids,
09:42but to keep all of our friends in the dark...
09:45Look, I can deal with the chemo.
09:47I can deal with people telling me my hair has never looked better,
09:49but what I cannot deal with is the pity,
09:51so we are doing it my way.
09:58You were crooked.
10:03Hey, sweetie, what's up?
10:05There's a moving van across the street.
10:09So you went and listed right away.
10:10And don't worry about getting top dollar.
10:12I want this place priced to move.
10:14Mm-hmm.
10:16What's going on here?
10:17I'm meeting with our realtor.
10:19Gabby, you remember Gil?
10:21I remember telling you I wasn't ready to sell the house yet.
10:25Gil, could you give us a minute, please?
10:27Yeah.
10:29Gabby, we agreed that after we got married,
10:31you would sell the house.
10:32I still have a lot of stuff here.
10:34My house is over 10,000 square feet.
10:36I'm pretty sure there are closets.
10:38I'm just not in a rush to unload this house, okay?
10:40This was my home.
10:41I was very happy here.
10:42We've got a new home now.
10:44Aren't you happy there?
10:45Yeah, it's a great house.
10:48Well, good.
10:49Then sell this place.
10:51What are you waiting for?
10:56I'm not waiting for anything.
11:00Oh, look, a moving van.
11:07New neighbors.
11:08What do we know?
11:10Well, dining chairs, there's a clue.
11:12Yes.
11:13Proves they eat sitting down.
11:14No, I mean, they're stickly.
11:16It means they have taste.
11:17And money.
11:18They've been remodeling for weeks.
11:20I wish Edie were here.
11:22Without her, there's no one to give us the dish.
11:24Yet another illustration of the fundamental selfishness of suicide.
11:31You think this is them?
11:34Oh, my God.
11:47Katherine.
11:50Katherine!
11:53Susan!
12:02I cannot believe it has been 12 years.
12:04You haven't changed a bit.
12:05Well, you clearly have.
12:06Your eyesight's going.
12:10How's your aunt?
12:11Katherine used to live here with Mrs. Simps.
12:13Not very well, I'm afraid.
12:15That's really the reason why we moved back.
12:18I didn't want poor Aunt Lily to spend her final days in a nursing home.
12:21That is so kind of you.
12:23Yeah, it is.
12:25Oh, and as luck would have it, my husband found a job here.
12:29Adam, could you wave or something?
12:32Hello, ladies.
12:33Hi.
12:33Look forward to meeting you when I'm a little less sweaty.
12:37He's a cutie.
12:38What does he do?
12:39He's a doctor.
12:41Okay.
12:42Don't take this personally.
12:43But we hate you.
12:44Mom?
12:46I finished unpacking my room.
12:48Do you need any help?
12:48Oh, my God.
12:49This is not little Dylan.
12:53I'm Susan, Julie's mom.
12:54She is going to be so excited to see you.
12:57Great.
12:58Who's Julie again?
12:59Honey, you remember your best friend when you were little?
13:02Oh, right.
13:03Why did you go help your stepfather with the last few boxes?
13:07It's nice meeting you all.
13:08What a beautiful family.
13:10I feel so lucky to have you for a neighbor.
13:12No, I am the lucky one.
13:14Look at my view.
13:15Your garden is absolutely breathtaking.
13:19Yeah.
13:20And that pine tree in the backyard?
13:23It's my pride and joy.
13:25Oh, it absolutely kills me to have to ask you to cut it down.
13:29Excuse me?
13:30I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to grow my prize-winning vegetables with that tree blocking all
13:34the sunlight.
13:37Oh, well, I'm sorry about your vegetables, but that pine shields my view of the Purcell's backyard.
13:42And if you had ever seen Mr. Purcell sunbathe, well, you'd know exactly what that tree means to me.
13:49Well, I don't want to quarrel.
13:50We will not touch that tree until we have come up with a solution to our problem.
13:56Curtains, perhaps.
14:01So you're back.
14:02How fun.
14:03I should have a brunch so that everyone can get to know you.
14:07No, no need.
14:07I'm having a barbecue this Saturday.
14:09I'm inviting the whole neighborhood.
14:11Oh, you don't need to do that.
14:13I insist.
14:13I have missed Wisteria Lane so much.
14:16And I want to do something special for my dear old friends.
14:19And all you lovely newcomers.
14:31The nice thing about this fake pregnancy is my feet don't swell.
14:35I mean, I'd never be able to squeeze into these slingbacks if I really wasn't even half months pregnant.
14:44Bree, don't you look radiant?
14:47Oh, hello, Mrs. McKeever.
14:49Well, I heard that you were expecting, but I had no idea how far along you were.
14:54May I?
14:55Oh, there's no need.
14:57The baby's just not kicking right now.
15:00Sometimes, if you give them a little jiggle, you can get them to move.
15:03Oh, she doesn't really want to be jiggled right now.
15:06She's very sensitive down there.
15:07But I'll be gentle.
15:09You know, in my day, mothers thought that it was good luck.
15:13Perhaps I need to make my point a little more clearly.
15:16Bree, you're hurting me.
15:19Is there a problem here?
15:21No, not at all.
15:22I'm just saying hello to a very dear friend of mine.
15:30Are you going to back off now?
15:34The car's here, dear.
15:36Lovely to see you, Mrs. McKeever.
15:40Why must old ladies always do that?
15:43No, but you've got to stop roughing them up.
15:49I'm sorry, Susan.
15:51Dr. Gorenberg just had a patient go into labor.
15:53His new partner is covering for him if you're comfortable with that.
15:56Sure.
15:56I'm just here for a checkup.
15:59Doctor?
16:02Sure.
16:03Hi.
16:03I'm Dr. Mayfair.
16:05I'm going to...
16:07Hold it.
16:08Have we met?
16:09Yes.
16:10Yesterday.
16:11Susan Meyer.
16:12Your new neighbor.
16:13Right.
16:15I didn't know you were this kind of doctor.
16:18I sure am.
16:26Listen, I'm...
16:27Maybe this isn't...
16:29Feet up, please.
16:31Okay.
16:34And scooch down.
16:42Just that it's weird.
16:44You know, considering you're...
16:46Where'd you go?
16:48No.
16:48No.
16:49No.
16:52And relax.
16:56Sorry.
16:59And relax.
17:02Sorry.
17:05And relax.
17:07Sorry.
17:09Not to change the subject, but when is Dr. Gorenberg coming back?
17:13Almost done.
17:16You know, Katherine has talked about you for years.
17:19It's nice to finally put a face to the name.
17:39Lynette!
17:41Muriel, how are you doing?
17:43What's up?
17:44You look good.
17:47Don't try to sweet-talk me, Lynette Ska, though.
17:50I am fit to be tied.
17:51Did you?
17:52Or did you not volunteer to run the fundraising gala?
17:55Yeah.
17:56Things have been a little weird lately.
17:58Don't even think of wriggling out of this, Lynette.
18:01Every other third grade mom has chaired an event.
18:04It is your turn.
18:08Okay.
18:09I'll jump right on it.
18:10Great.
18:11Okay.
18:14See, that's where someone with half a brain would have played the cancer card.
18:20I can handle it.
18:21Like hell.
18:22You've been nauseous all day from the chemo.
18:23You shouldn't even be here.
18:25It's my life.
18:26Some stupid disease is not going to keep me from living it.
18:29Besides, Parker's expecting to see me.
18:31Hey.
18:33Hi.
18:34There.
18:35He saw you.
18:37You'll duck out when the lights go down.
18:39He's going to be watching for me all day.
18:40He's one of the leads.
18:41He's Friar Duck.
18:43It's a thankless role.
18:52Well, everything seems normal.
18:56But you say you've been having irregular periods.
18:58Yeah.
18:59You know, one month off, two months on.
19:01That happens, right?
19:03Have you ever experienced night sweats?
19:05Um, sometimes.
19:07But Mike's a big spooner.
19:09He's like sleeping with a hibachi.
19:11Um, how about hot flashes?
19:14Okay, whoa.
19:15I'm going to stop you right there.
19:17I'm way too young for that.
19:18Please refer to your chart.
19:19Susan, I know for a lot of women the word menopause has negative connotations.
19:24They hear aging, brittle bones, loss of sexual desire.
19:29Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas?
19:32Because I...
19:33Look, there's a simple blood test we can use to find out.
19:35I don't need any test.
19:36I am not old enough for menopause.
19:37Now, I don't know what kind of nonsense they taught you at Harvard Medical School.
19:45Class of 97?
19:47Oh, my God.
19:48I am old.
19:50Just give me the damn test.
19:54We will live in these woods till our work is done.
19:57If the sheriff comes, we will drive him away with our bows and arrows.
20:03You okay?
20:05I'm feeling a little...
20:07I'm fine.
20:07God save all of you merry men.
20:09I'm fine.
20:09I beseech thee.
20:11Pray that I may join your man, band of merry men.
20:15I am more than just a jolly friar.
20:17For I can have both a sword and an arrow.
20:21We must support Robin Hood.
20:23Oh, I'm going to be sick.
20:24And it's almost like a gift to the poor.
20:25Right there with you, lady.
20:27Oh, hell!
20:28Robin Hood!
20:32Okay, let's go.
20:33No!
20:34It's too late.
20:41Bravo!
20:46I'm sorry.
20:48I'm sorry.
20:48I'll get you a new purse.
20:49Fine.
20:50But that wasn't my purse.
21:12Hello.
21:13You have everything you need?
21:14You just let me know.
21:15Hi!
21:15Good to see you.
21:16Oh, you look great.
21:19Mrs. LaCluskey, hello.
21:22How are you?
21:24Do you remember me?
21:25You're best Truman, right?
21:27Of course I remember you.
21:29That's your way of checking if my brain's gone all tapioca.
21:31I'm fine.
21:33Sorry.
21:34So I saw your kid and your new husband.
21:36Nice catch.
21:37Oh, well, thank you.
21:38I'm very eager for him to experience life on Wisteria Lane.
21:42The times that Bill and I spent here were the happiest of our lives.
21:46Yeah?
21:46Then why'd you take off so suddenly?
21:48You skipped town without even saying goodbye.
21:51Hi.
21:52You do remember a lot, don't you?
21:56Excuse me.
21:57I really must mingle.
22:04I think these eggs are past the prime.
22:07Oh.
22:09So you just shun them and throw them away.
22:12Well, yeah, since mayonnaise left out in the sun can kill ya.
22:18Everything okay?
22:19You seem kinda moody today.
22:21Yeah, I get used to it.
22:23Okay.
22:24Did I do something wrong?
22:25No, I'm sorry.
22:26I'm just a little...
22:29You know what?
22:29Forget it.
22:30Let's eat.
22:32You who?
22:32Susan!
22:33We saved your place!
22:37Come on.
22:38We want you over here.
22:39Come on.
22:40Come on.
22:42We want you over here.
22:45Come on.
22:46Oh my god, Dylan!
22:50Hi.
22:51It's me.
22:52Julie.
22:52Julie's the one we were talking about.
22:54Hi, honey.
22:55She was your best friend.
22:59Yeah, and I brought you a little welcome back gift.
23:01Your favorite.
23:02Oh my goodness.
23:04Do you remember how much you used to love licorice?
23:07I did.
23:08Mm-hmm.
23:09Okay.
23:13Come on.
23:13I've got some of the old gang I want you to meet.
23:16Have fun.
23:19Menopause?
23:20God, aren't you a little young for that?
23:22I know.
23:23I know.
23:24You thought you married a vibrant woman in her prime, and instead you got a wife who's...
23:30...dry and dusty.
23:33Oh, honey.
23:34Oh, it's a natural part of life.
23:36Yeah, the part before death.
23:38Oh.
23:39I know that it's upsetting, but it's really not that big a deal.
23:43Yes, it is.
23:43What if you want to have kids?
23:45We agreed that we didn't.
23:46No, you said you did.
23:47I said I didn't, and you changed your mind.
23:49What if you change it back?
23:50That's not gonna happen.
23:51Listen, my last egg could be on its way down the chute at this very moment.
23:55If you want to have kids, you might want to jump on it.
23:58Right now.
24:00All right, this is all very romantic, but let me be clear about this, okay?
24:05I love you.
24:07And if kids don't happen, I'm fine with that.
24:10I don't want you to be fine.
24:13I want you to be happy.
24:15All right, I'm just trying to find a nice way to shut you up, so...
24:25Yeah, poor dude.
24:30Hey.
24:32Look who's back.
24:33Oh my gosh, she's out of the clinic.
24:39Thanks, darling.
24:41Hi.
24:42Hi.
24:43Oh, careful.
24:45The neck.
24:46Oh, sorry.
24:47All right.
24:47Thank you all so much for the cards.
24:49Sometimes it takes a near tragedy to realize just how much you're loved.
24:55So, why don't you talk to your friends, and I'll go and pack the car.
24:59Oh, thanks, sweetheart.
25:02I have to admit that I was a little concerned about how you'd react when you saw me.
25:08But this, throwing me a party, I...
25:15Well, we just all love you.
25:18And Edie, you look great, especially, you know, given the circumstances.
25:23You mean that I tried to hang myself?
25:26Well, it's okay.
25:28The doctor encouraged me to talk about it.
25:30Surely not over food.
25:32Well, Carlos and I talk about it all the time.
25:34You know, and this whole thing has just brought us closer together.
25:39We've actually talked about marriage.
25:46Hello.
25:46Great.
25:47I don't think we've met.
25:48I'm Catherine Mayfair, your new neighbor.
25:50Oh, Edie.
25:51It's a pleasure to meet you.
25:54Welcome to my party.
26:01So, I hear congratulations are in order.
26:03Edie just announced you're getting married.
26:06Best wishes.
26:07We're not engaged.
26:08That was just a kind of a what-if conversation.
26:11Really?
26:12Because she thinks you're getting married.
26:14Everyone else thinks you're getting married.
26:16So, again, best wishes.
26:18Gabby, the woman tried to kill herself because I left her.
26:20She's not real good with disappointment.
26:22Neither am I.
26:24You told me you want to run away together, and then I don't hear from you for a month.
26:27That was only because I was going through stuff with Edie, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't thinking about
26:30you constantly.
26:31You were not.
26:33Yes, I was.
26:34Every second of every day.
26:39Yeah, well, I kind of thought about you, too.
26:44I need to be with you, Gabby.
26:46Yeah?
26:48Prove it.
26:49Can you get away tonight?
26:51Oh, my God.
26:52Are you serious?
26:54Damn right I am.
26:55Oh!
27:00I just have to be back my midnight to give Edie her pills.
27:04What?
27:04If we're going to have an affair, we've got to be discreet.
27:07Affair?
27:08I thought we were talking about running away together.
27:10I can't do that.
27:11Edie's too fragile right now.
27:15That old battle axe is going to outlive us all.
27:17Hey, don't talk about her like that.
27:19Oh, far be it from me to speak ill of the future Mrs. Carlos Solis.
27:23We are not getting married.
27:24Best wishes!
27:33No, absolutely not.
27:35That's my final answer.
27:39And I'll talk to you later.
27:41That was Danielle.
27:42Now she wants us to send a DVD player for her room.
27:45Well, it hardly seems extravagant.
27:46You're missing the point.
27:47It's a convent, not the Four Seasons.
27:49You have mustard on your chin.
27:51I mean, it's one thing to forgive bad behavior.
27:55It's another thing to reward it.
27:56There are consequences for her mistakes.
27:59Ah!
28:00Free!
28:00Oh, my God!
28:02Are you all right?
28:03Oh, no, no.
28:04I'm fine.
28:05I'm fine.
28:06You're bleeding.
28:07No, no, no.
28:07It's just a...
28:08Oh, it's a little barbecue sauce.
28:09Where is Catherine's husband?
28:11He's a doctor.
28:12She's fine.
28:14Adam!
28:15Get over here!
28:16Right now!
28:17Where he got stabbed in the belly!
28:19Oh, my God.
28:20Are you all right?
28:20Let me take a look.
28:21No, it's nothing.
28:21We were just teasing, Ida.
28:24It's something we do.
28:27Look, it's a trick.
28:29A barbecue form.
28:31We got it at a magic shop.
28:32See?
28:33Oh!
28:33Retractable!
28:35Oh!
28:36Oh, my baby!
28:38Wow.
28:40It's quite a trick.
28:41Hey, let's go freak out Mrs. McCluskey.
28:44Huh?
28:45Huh?
28:46He's such a scant.
28:55Psycho mom at five o'clock.
28:57You say the words, she gets a face full of pig bones.
29:01Oh, my hero.
29:03I can handle her.
29:06Annette.
29:07I just spoke with Helen and imagine my surprise when she told me that you'd not started on the decorations
29:12for the gala.
29:13I'm in charge of decorations?
29:15Yes.
29:16Which you would have known had you bothered to pick up the packet.
29:24I don't want to hear it.
29:28Okay.
29:31Piggy that's mine.
29:36I'm sorry, sweetie.
29:38I'm just...
29:38I'm just too tired right now.
29:40Here, honey.
29:41I'll get you.
29:43Oh!
29:44Oh, yes!
29:47Mommy has to conserve her energy for more important things.
30:00We are not throwing in the towel over a minor mishap.
30:04How many more mishaps are we going to get away with?
30:06Yesterday was an old woman in the Macy's shoe department.
30:08Today a magic fork in the belly.
30:10Pretty soon this whole charade will completely unravel and we will be humiliated.
30:14We're already in too deep.
30:16We could go on a trip.
30:17Tell people you miscarried while we were away.
30:19And then what would happen to the baby?
30:21Well, Danielle would keep it.
30:23Do you think Danielle could raise this child?
30:25Orson, you've seen her in action.
30:27She's shallow and she's selfish.
30:29She would ruin this child's life.
30:30How can you say that?
30:32Because I'm her mother.
30:35And I know what I've created and that's the real humiliation.
30:45Orson, this child deserves better.
30:49And I know what to do now.
30:51Please.
30:52Please let me try.
30:58So...
30:58Really, what you want is a second chance?
31:02Well, would that be so horrible?
31:09Well, then...
31:13Let the charade continue.
31:17Well, then...
31:21Bye.
31:25So you're bailing on me now?
31:27I know, the timing is terrible.
31:29Damn right.
31:29It's three weeks before the gala.
31:31I just didn't realize how tired I would be when I took this on.
31:34Oh, we're all tired, Lynette.
31:35But some of us still manage to honor our commitments.
31:37Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you.
31:39I haven't been feeling that great.
31:41Oh, don't whine to me about your aches and pains.
31:43I've had the same migraine since 87.
31:45And my knee's so bad, I can't even use a treadmill anymore.
31:49Oh, yeah.
31:50Yeah.
31:52That's rough.
31:54By the way...
32:02I have cancer.
32:06I'll give Helen a call.
32:24So, I am halfway through chemo, and my doctor is very confident that I'm going to beat this.
32:31So you can all relax.
32:33I'm not going to die.
32:41Well, not unless we kill you.
32:44Huh?
32:45Damn it, Lynette.
32:45What did we say after Mary Alice?
32:47After eating.
32:49Why didn't they tell us?
32:50We're your friends.
32:51Why would you shut us out?
32:54I just liked being able to throw on my wig and join you guys for a cup of coffee and
33:00a good gossip about the new neighbors.
33:02You know, for five minutes I could pretend I wasn't a sick person.
33:08But once your friends know you're sick, you can't pretend anymore, because you can see it in their eyes.
33:15The fear, the pity.
33:18Is that all you see in our eyes?
33:28No.
33:29No, of course not.
33:32You know what? Let's make a pact.
33:34No more secrets.
33:37No more secrets.
33:37From now on, we tell each other every shocking detail of our lives.
33:47I'm in.
33:48Me too.
33:52You with us?
33:55Absolutely.
33:59No more secrets.
34:10You're right. I'm not happy. Let's talk.
34:17All I'm saying is, I just want to know that I come first with you.
34:22Sometimes I feel less like your wife than a possession.
34:25It's demeaning. It's...
34:27Why are you smiling right now?
34:29Because this is fantastic. After weeks of shutting me out, you're finally telling me how you feel.
34:34We should do this all the time.
34:35Well, it's hard when you're so busy.
34:40Maybe we should go away.
34:42Let's just take a couple weeks or a month.
34:46Let's rediscover what it was that made us fall in love to begin with.
34:50That was a great idea. Let's do it.
34:53How's next week?
34:54Let's see here.
34:59Well, I've got the meeting with the school board on Tuesday.
35:02And at the end of the month, I've got the conference in Washington.
35:05Oh, shoot. I've got the groundbreaking for the new Civic Center.
35:10Dad's birthday. Economic Development Forum.
35:15How about April? I can give you two whole weeks in April.
35:24I'll see you later, babe.
35:25Where are you going?
35:27Escoblos for a few beers.
35:29Oh, can I come?
35:31Uh, no.
35:33Why not?
35:34Edie, I know you've been through a lot lately, but I can't hold your hand 24 hours a day.
35:40If you want this relationship to work, you've got to give me some downtime.
35:54Okay, so I managed to get away from Edie. What do you want?
35:59To get you away from Edie.
36:15Oh, come on. You have to remember your boyfriend, Joey Miller.
36:18Used to chase him around the jungle gym.
36:20Really? You think I would have gone for this guy with the sexy finger up his nose?
36:26So you don't remember any of the kids we used to play with?
36:28Oh.
36:30To be honest, I don't remember anything about living here.
36:34Really?
36:38So, what is your earliest memory?
36:43I don't know if this is a memory, but...
36:47For years, I've had this creepy dream.
36:51I'm really little, and there's a guy in my room, and he tries to grab me.
36:59That is creepy.
37:01Have you ever talked to somebody about it?
37:07You mean like a therapist?
37:10My old babysitter suggested that, but my mom got mad and said no.
37:16Really?
37:18Yeah.
37:19Then she fired the babysitter.
37:28Susan?
37:29I'm in here.
37:32Your front door was open.
37:34No problem.
37:37What's up?
37:38First, let me just say this is one of the more embarrassing moments of my career, and you have every
37:43right to hate me.
37:45Adam, I have no idea what you're talking about.
37:47Well, your test results came back, and your estrogen levels are fine.
37:51You're not about to start menopause.
37:53Really?
37:55That's fantastic.
37:56There's more.
37:58More?
38:00You're pregnant.
38:03What?
38:05What did he just say?
38:08I'm pregnant?
38:12He said I'm pregnant.
38:25I have never been happier.
38:29From now, I believe you.
38:39There you are.
38:42I'm sorry.
38:43I got in late last night. I didn't want to wake you.
38:46You don't have to explain.
38:48I trust you.
38:50Well, good.
38:51You should.
38:53I just wish you trusted me a bit more.
38:55What are you talking about?
38:57Why didn't you ever tell me about your offshore bank account?
39:03What?
39:05Well, you know.
39:07The one in the Cayman Islands, with $10 million in it.
39:14I miss you when you're gone.
39:19Going through your things makes me feel like you're with me.
39:23Okay, I know how this looks.
39:25What did you think I was going to do?
39:27Tell people?
39:28Turn you in? Try to get my little hands on it?
39:33I don't care about money, Carlos.
39:36All I care about is you.
39:40That's why this relationship is going to work.
39:45You can trust me with your secrets.
39:49Just like I can trust you not to hurt me.
40:06There is a certain time of mourning.
40:09It occurs after kids have left for school.
40:12And husbands have headed off for work.
40:16It's a time when women think of the secrets they've been keeping from their friends.
40:22And how shocked they would be if the truth was discovered.
40:27And how they'll do everything in their power to keep that from happening.
40:34But what of those lucky women who have no secrets left to keep?
40:38What do they think about every morning?
40:42Hey!
40:45Is something wrong?
40:49It's just...
40:51Dylan and I used to be best friends.
40:54I mean, we did everything together.
40:57I know, she was like a sister to you.
41:02Well, that girl that I've been hanging out with.
41:06And I know this is going to sound crazy, but...
41:11That's not the same girl.
41:20These women spend their mornings thinking of their neighbors.
41:24And the secrets they may be keeping.
41:37There you are. I've been calling you.
41:47Is this the room?
41:49Yes.
41:52Dylan's been asking me if she can move in here.
41:54So let her.
41:57You may remember what happened here, but she can't.
42:00Doesn't matter.
42:02I won't allow it.
42:04Hey, are you okay?
42:06Did we make a mistake coming back here?
42:10Did we have a choice?
42:11Do we?
42:24Do we have sinned eso?
42:26Yes, sir.
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