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Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 11
Transcript
00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:02I am just trying to move on with my life.
00:05Are you having an affair with my husband?
00:07Suspicion ended in tragedy.
00:09I'm here to see Rex Vandekamp. Apparently he had a heart attack.
00:12Trust
00:12It kills me that I'm putting you through this.
00:14Was put on trial.
00:15Bring me the passport and Mr. Solis can visit his mother.
00:18An ex-husband
00:19You walked out on your family!
00:21Was replaced
00:22She is out there throwing herself with Mike Delfino.
00:26And everyone
00:26Wow, your own personal nanny?
00:29Well, you.
00:30It was getting in over their heads.
00:38Edie Britt could never understand why she didn't have any female friends.
00:44Of course, she always tried to tell people she didn't need any.
00:48But the truth was, it bothered Edie that other women didn't seem to like her.
00:55Even after moving to Wisteria Lane
00:58Big help if there were breakables in there.
01:00Edie couldn't understand why her neighbors kept their distance.
01:06And then she met Martha Huber.
01:10Hello!
01:11Within five minutes, Mrs. Huber managed to disparage what Edie was wearing.
01:16In fact, whenever they got together, Mrs. Huber insulted her.
01:22She made fun of everything from Edie's makeup to her taste in men.
01:29Yes, Martha Huber could be cruel, offensive, and downright mean.
01:34But Edie didn't care.
01:37But Edie didn't care.
01:38Because she was the first real friend Edie Britt had ever had.
01:43But now Martha Huber was missing.
01:46She had vanished without a trace.
01:48And Edie was not embarrassed to admit she needed her back.
01:54Edie?
01:55Yes?
01:57I'm Felicia Tillman.
01:59Martha's sister.
02:00Really?
02:02What's wrong?
02:04Oh, nothing's wrong.
02:05It's just that Martha always said how alike you two were.
02:08I just don't see the family resemblance.
02:10It's there.
02:11It just takes a while to become a parent.
02:16Do you have the key to her house?
02:18I do.
02:19After the police kicked the door and they put on this temporary lock.
02:23Oh, and by the way, the neighbors are coming over at noon.
02:27We're going to organize and hand out flyers.
02:30The key?
02:32Oh, right.
02:33You know, I can only imagine how worried you must be.
02:37I'm not worried, Edie.
02:38Martha and I have a very intense bond.
02:40We were connected at the most primal level.
02:43And a few days ago, I felt this sensation in my soul.
02:48That's when it first dawned on me that something had happened to my sister.
02:51And then when she didn't arrive at my home as scheduled,
02:54well, that's when I knew she was dead.
02:57Oh, honey, no.
02:58You mustn't think like that.
03:00Martha?
03:00Martha's only missing.
03:02No, Edie.
03:04She's dead.
03:05But she's my sister.
03:07And I'm going to find out exactly what happened to her.
03:12Look, Felicia, it's natural to freak out when a loved one's missing.
03:17Loved one?
03:19Oh, Edie, let me be clear about this.
03:23I hated Martha.
03:26She was a wretched pig of a woman.
03:28And the day she died, this world became a better place.
03:31It was in that moment that Edie finally saw the family resemblance.
03:37The most beautiful family resemblance.
03:51The family resemblance was a reagent.
03:58The families of the family, credibly read about it.
03:59The children of the children of the children of the children of the family.
04:05Because she was a sovereign version of the family.
04:23Mrs. Hoover was missing.
04:25The words echoed down Wisteria Lane until every last resident was aware of her disappearance.
04:32By noon, dozens of neighbors had gathered.
04:35Some came to volunteer, some came in sympathy, and some came to learn exactly what the police
04:43knew and what they didn't.
04:47So I'll need you to pass out flyers, put them in the mall, the park, anywhere you think
04:51Mrs. Hoover might have been seen.
04:53We need to jump on this.
04:55Time is of the essence.
04:58Edie, would you like to say something?
05:00On behalf of Martha and her sister Felicia, I'd like to thank you all for coming here
05:08today.
05:09You know, my last conversation with Martha was one of anger, and I'll never forgive myself
05:15for the things that I said.
05:18I lay awake at night thinking about it.
05:27I don't know how she did it, but Edie managed to make this all about her.
05:31She's a talented girl, our Edie.
05:33Has anybody talked to Bree?
05:35How's Rex doing?
05:36She's bringing him home from the hospital today.
05:38Boy, I don't know how he had a heart attack.
05:39He was so young.
05:41Hey, how creepy is Mrs. Hoover's sister?
05:43I know.
05:44The way she was talking about Mrs. Hoover, it was like she was already dead.
05:47You don't think she's...
05:49Oh, no.
05:49I'm sure she's fine.
05:50We're talking about Mrs. Hoover.
05:52She's like a roach.
05:54I just wanted you to know that everyone in Mysterio Lane is praying for your sister's
05:58safe return.
06:00Oh, I seriously doubt that.
06:10What do you mean you're not taking care of him?
06:12Dad's being released today.
06:14He's got to have a place to recuperate.
06:15Well, then he can go to a motel because he's not allowed back in my house.
06:19I thought you two were getting along.
06:20What happened?
06:23That's between your father and me.
06:25You're so selfish.
06:26No, I'm so looking forward to the day that I get to put you in a nursing home.
06:29I'm sorry to disappoint you, Andrew, but my plan is to have an embolism and to die young.
06:34Yeah, well, we're all rooting for you, but you might not be so lucky.
06:37Andrew.
06:37You want to see how long I can hold a grudge?
06:39Go ahead and abandon my father because I promise you you'll be sorry.
06:42You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what you...
06:44Knew what?
06:45Oh, come on.
06:46Tell me because I'd love to know what my father did that was so awful.
06:52Fine.
06:53I will see him through this, but after that, your father can rot in hell for all I care.
07:01We're not like other families, are we?
07:04No.
07:06Or not.
07:08Gabrielle, it's not my fault that your bank accounts are frozen.
07:11I'm not saying it's your fault.
07:12I'm just saying fix it.
07:13Well, I wish I could, but the folks at the Justice Department aren't very sympathetic.
07:17I'm running out of money.
07:18In a couple of weeks, I'm going to be screwed.
07:21Why don't you hog some of your jewelry?
07:23There's a lot of stuff you never wear, and most of it's ugly.
07:27Don't you have a toilet to scrub?
07:30God, I'm just so angry with Carlos.
07:32Who's he thinking exporting goods made from slave labor?
07:36Why couldn't he have embezzled like other white collar criminals?
07:38All the Justice Department wants is to make sure that Carlos doesn't skip the country.
07:42Now, if he's released on bail, I can argue that he needs money to live on, and they'll
07:46probably unfreeze one of the smaller accounts.
07:49But they won't release him on bail until they get the passport.
07:52Exactly.
07:53You haven't found that yet, have you?
07:56Gabrielle wanted her old lifestyle back, no question.
08:00But she wanted Carlos to suffer for his betrayal even more.
08:07I'm still searching.
08:09Well, in that case, you might want to think about looking for a job.
08:12Ha!
08:16So, I had a really good time.
08:18Yeah, of course you did.
08:21Oh.
08:23Gotcha.
08:26Hey, is this a bad time?
08:27For you? Of course it is.
08:29It's cute. Tax stuff. I need your signature.
08:31We've been divorced over a year.
08:332003.
08:34Well, please, just come on in.
08:38Um, Mike, I don't think you've officially met my ex, Carl Meyer.
08:42Oh, hey, Mike Delfino.
08:43Right.
08:44The plumber.
08:46Yeah, I don't have the right washer for this faucet, so I'm just gonna go across the street
08:50and get it.
08:55So he seems okay?
08:56Yeah, he is.
08:59So, what do you want me to sign?
09:01Oh, my seat.
09:04By the way, Julie told me about her birthday plans.
09:06Yeah, we're going to a restaurant downtown.
09:09A guy who plays piano and an open mic.
09:11Julie got a bunch of her girlfriends together, and so we're just gonna make a night of it.
09:14Julie loves to sing. It sounds nice.
09:17Here we go.
09:18Alrighty.
09:18Give my best to Brandy.
09:21Actually, um, we're not together anymore.
09:24You're not?
09:25What happened?
09:26I caught her in bed with another guy.
09:31Go ahead, do your happy dance.
09:32You deserve it.
09:33No, no, really.
09:34I'm sorry that you had to go through that.
09:36I am.
09:43Uh...
09:43It's just really alright for me right now.
09:47Thanks.
09:56Um...
09:57Try ripping up old photos.
09:59It helps.
10:03We'll have fun this weekend.
10:05Let me know how the party goes.
10:09Carl...
10:10Do you want to join us?
10:17Susan.
10:21You're the best.
10:22Oh, well...
10:25Yeah, I'm the best, aren't I?
10:26I am.
10:34You know, if we're gonna buy a water heater, we should talk about it.
10:37We could go to the mall tomorrow.
10:38They're having a sale.
10:39Can we talk about this tomorrow?
10:41Well, I'm just trying to plan my day.
10:43Please, honey, I'm so tired.
10:44I'm so tired.
10:47I'm so tired.
10:48I'm so tired.
11:14Okay.
11:16Thanks.
11:18Yeah.
11:21Thanks.
11:22Yeah.
11:27Thanks.
11:50Claire?
11:55I'm, I'm, uh, wow, I'm sorry.
11:59I didn't know you were up.
12:02Yeah, I thought you were sleeping.
12:04I was just going upstairs.
12:07Do you want me to make the coffee?
12:08Yeah.
12:10Yeah, that'd be great.
12:12I'm just gonna, um, just, you know, go back up to my room.
12:17Okay.
12:18Alright.
12:21Good night.
12:22Good night.
12:27Well, so you know, if we go to the mall, we can go to the shoe store.
12:30You said you wanted new running shoes.
12:36What?
12:38Oh.
12:41Oh.
12:43Oh.
12:51The next morning while the search for Martha Huber continued, Lynette discovered a little family secret, one she wasn't even
13:00looking for.
13:00Good morning.
13:02Morning.
13:03Want some coffee?
13:04Um, yeah, thanks.
13:06I didn't want to come down until Tom left for work.
13:10Still a little embarrassed.
13:12About what?
13:14What, he didn't tell you?
13:16Well, actually, it's kind of funny.
13:18Um, I was doing some laundry, and I noticed that the robe I was wearing had some baby food on
13:24it, so I threw it in, figuring I could dash upstairs while everyone was asleep.
13:28And then I ran into Tom, while I was totally naked.
13:38And so, Claire, when did this incident occur?
13:43I don't know.
13:44It was pretty late.
13:46I think he might have come down and made coffee or something.
13:50You don't say.
13:53Wow.
13:55Wow.
13:56Wow.
13:57Wow.
13:57Well, this is certainly impressive.
13:59I can definitely get you work as a model, but you do realize it's different from the runway work you
14:03did in New York and Milan.
14:05Of course.
14:06I made $10,000 a day.
14:08I don't expect to make that here.
14:12That's good, because you won't.
14:13Yeah.
14:15So what do you got?
14:16Well, there is something.
14:17Uh, they need a model to demonstrate the new Buick La Crosse at the Fairview Mall.
14:24It's just going to be you and the car on a revolving platform.
14:27$300 for the day.
14:31Uh, what else do you have?
14:33Sure.
14:35Um, ooh.
14:36Can you swing a sword?
14:38Sci-fi convention needs someone to dress up as a warrior princess.
14:43A warrior princess?
14:46Yes.
14:47Mr. Gibb, I am a professional model.
14:51Look at this bone structure.
14:52This face is a cash cow, and if you don't have the vision to take advantage of that, then maybe
14:57I'm at the wrong agency.
14:58Hey, look, honey.
15:00I'm the only modeling agent in a hundred-mile radius.
15:02I book women for boat shows and garden tool expos.
15:05If you don't like it, move back to the city.
15:13This, um, Buick thing, does it include lunch?
15:22Just so you know, I really am grateful for everything you're doing for me.
15:27Oh, I don't need your gratitude.
15:29You're only here because your children are master extortionists.
15:33So you didn't tell them about...
15:35Your adultery?
15:36No, I decided to keep that little gem all to myself.
15:40Listen, I know this is a real imposition.
15:42Yes, it is.
15:43The doctor said you could be here for weeks.
15:45Would it make you feel any better if I told you I'm sorry for what I did?
15:49Yes, it would.
15:51If I still felt anything for you.
15:53But as it stands, the place you used to occupy in my heart is very much empty now.
15:59You must still feel something for me.
16:02And why do you think that?
16:04Oh, come on, Bree.
16:05Look at this.
16:06You're using the good china, freshly pressed napkins, flowers from the garden.
16:11This tray was prepared with loving care.
16:14Do me a favor, Rex.
16:16Please don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection.
16:33Hold on a second.
16:38Okay.
16:39Now I'm good.
16:41What?
16:43You're just...
16:44God, I love you.
16:47Oh.
16:51Well, that's great.
16:53Wait, look, that just kind of popped out.
16:55No, no, it's fine.
16:56It just kind of caught me off guard.
16:59I mean, I want to say it back.
17:01Yeah, but you're not ready.
17:02It's okay.
17:03You're not mad, are you?
17:05No, God, we haven't even been dating that long, and you've got other issues.
17:08I get it.
17:08Good.
17:12Issues?
17:13What kind of issues do you think I have?
17:14You know, I retract my earlier statement.
17:16I no longer love you.
17:17In fact, I just think of you as a really good buddy.
17:19No, no, no, no.
17:20You obviously think you have some insight into my soul, so please, go ahead.
17:25Dazzle me.
17:26Your divorce left you hurt and vulnerable.
17:29Big insight.
17:30The postman knows that.
17:31And there's a chance you might still have feelings for your ex.
17:34What?
17:37I loathe Carl.
17:39And the postman will back me up on that, too.
17:41I'm sure part of you does hate him, but, you know, maybe part of you still hung up on him.
17:45Where are you getting this?
17:46Well, he broke up with the woman he left you for, and what was the first thing you did?
17:51You hugged him.
17:52And invited him to a party.
17:55Okay.
17:57The analysis part of this evening is now over.
18:02Hey, you asked.
18:03Well, you know what?
18:05You're going to come to Julie's party tomorrow night, and you're going to see Carl and I together,
18:09and you're going to understand once and for all that I have no feelings for him whatsoever.
18:13You know, actually, I have tickets to a basketball game.
18:14Well, actually, you're coming to the party tomorrow, and that's the end of it.
18:17Well, this is what I get for saying I love you.
18:19What?
18:20Oh.
18:24Thanks.
18:25Hello, George.
18:27It's Van de Camp.
18:27You're looking lovely today.
18:29You always say the nicest things.
18:31Well, it's, uh, it's true.
18:34Listen, I have a prescription here for Rex.
18:37I don't know if you heard, but he had a heart attack.
18:39I had no idea.
18:40Is he okay?
18:40Oh, yes.
18:41He'll live, but the doctor says he's at risk for something called pericarditis.
18:45Do you know anything about that?
18:47It's an inflammation of the membrane that surrounds the heart.
18:50It'll take a few months to make sure it doesn't develop, but he'll need constant care.
18:54So I hear.
18:56As the words constant care echoed in her head, Brie caught a sickening glimpse into her future.
19:04Okay, here we go.
19:06Which prompted her to seek an old-fashioned remedy.
19:10George, would you go out to dinner with me?
19:13Um, you mean like a date?
19:16Yes.
19:17I think it would be fun.
19:19What about your husband?
19:21Oh, him.
19:23Well, we're separated.
19:31In spite of Mrs. Hooper's disappearance, life on Wisteria Lane started to return to normal,
19:38until an intriguing discovery was made on a dirt road next to the interstate.
19:45This is Officer Burton.
19:47I have an abandoned vehicle registered to a missing person.
19:49One Martha Hooper, please advise.
19:54As news spread of this mysterious development, everyone in the neighborhood decided to band
19:59together, to show their support, and to look for clues, or worse.
20:06I'm keeping my eyes on the horizon.
20:09Please tell me if I am about to step on a body part.
20:11It's a search and rescue, not recover.
20:13We don't know if she's dead.
20:14Yeah, people fake their own abductions all the time.
20:17Can we talk about something else?
20:18Something less depressing?
20:20Well, here's something.
20:21Mike told me he loved me.
20:23Oh, my God!
20:24Over here.
20:25They found the body.
20:26No, no, I'm sorry.
20:27False alarm.
20:27We didn't find a body.
20:29Uh, Susan just had some really good news.
20:32Sorry.
20:33No, it's not good news.
20:34It's awful alarm.
20:35Well, doesn't that figure?
20:37Susan always finds a way to make it about her.
20:42Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the fabulous Buick Lacrosse.
20:51It has an expertly crafted interior, peaceful quiet tuning, and ultrasonic rear parking assist.
21:02Observe the remote activation feature.
21:10Uh, and it also has a lot of other exciting, good, cool car things.
21:33Tom, Lynette!
21:35What are you doing here?
21:36We're buying a new water heater.
21:38Um, how about you?
21:39Just doing a little shopping, trying to get my mind off things.
21:41Hey, Gabby, you need help.
21:42It looks like you're stuck here.
21:43Oh, I guess I am.
21:45No worries, I gotta.
21:46Guess I got too close to the turntable.
21:48I'm a sucker for these Buicks.
21:50Come on, you bastard.
21:52You know, with their, uh, perfectly crafted interior and peaceful, quiet tuning.
21:58Uh-huh.
21:59A little formal for the mall.
22:01Oh, uh, you know, I wanted to match the shoes to the dress.
22:08This is, uh, Sarah, my shopping buddy.
22:12We like to hit the boutiques together.
22:14Okay.
22:15Well, you gals, um, shop your little hearts out.
22:19See you later.
22:20Bye.
22:32Wow.
22:33Look at you.
22:34You going out?
22:35Not that it's any of your business, but, um, I have a date.
22:39A date?
22:41What kind of date?
22:41Rex, I don't want to say anything that might upset you.
22:44The doctor says any undue stress could cause another heart attack.
22:52It's a romantic date with a single, attractive man, and I intend to French the hell out of him.
22:59Oh, right on time.
23:03Hi.
23:04Hi.
23:05In my spare time, my garden, I thought you might like these.
23:08Oh, my God.
23:09They're exquisite.
23:11Compost and eggshells?
23:13Yes.
23:13Oh, come on in.
23:15Thanks.
23:18George, you remember Rex?
23:23I thought you said you were separated.
23:25Oh, we are, emotionally.
23:27Physically, he just lives here because his mistress refuses to care for him.
23:30Would you like a drink?
23:32Uh, no, I'm fine.
23:33Thanks.
23:35Rex, say hello to George.
23:37Hello, George.
23:39Hello, Dr. Vandekamp.
23:40I'm going to go put these in water.
23:42George, why don't you have a seat, and I'll be right back.
23:54So, uh, how's your heart, Dr. Vandekamp?
23:57Better.
23:58How's the pharmacy?
23:59Busy.
24:00It's busy.
24:02It's busy.
24:07Huh.
24:08Something funny?
24:09It's nothing.
24:12See, I, uh, I recently engaged in some extracurricular activity, and now Bree's doing anything she
24:19can to make me suffer.
24:20All you can do is laugh.
24:22Yeah, I guess.
24:25Oh, these flowers are stunning.
24:28They're the best ones I've ever gotten.
24:35Shall we?
24:36Well, it was nice talking to you, Dr. Vandekamp.
24:38Please, you're dating my wife.
24:40Call me, Rex.
24:46That sales girl that sold us the water heater?
24:48She had a cute figure.
24:50Yeah, I guess.
24:50I didn't notice.
24:51Oh, how can you say she was so your type, big breasts, really curvy.
24:56What are you doing?
24:57Nothing.
24:57I'm just saying you prefer women who are really curvy.
24:59Women like that sales girl.
25:00Or Claire.
25:03There's only one type that I prefer.
25:06You.
25:06Aw, you kissed me as though that would end this conversation, and it so won't.
25:10Why am I in trouble?
25:12I haven't done anything wrong.
25:13The only reason you made love to me the other night was because you had just seen Claire
25:16naked.
25:17What?
25:20Aw, crap.
25:22Claire is a great nanny.
25:23It would be stupid to lose her over something like this.
25:26You and I have had crushes before.
25:28We always tell each other.
25:29We laugh about it.
25:30It's no big deal.
25:31What worries me about this is you're denying you're obviously attractive.
25:34Why?
25:34I'm not denying anything.
25:35Oh, so you are attracted to her.
25:37I didn't say that.
25:40What are you doing?
25:41We are not going anywhere until you confess.
25:43You have the hots for our nanny.
25:45Tom, it's okay.
25:47She's attractive.
25:48Men by nature are drawn to fertile young women with whom they can plant their seed.
25:53It's the basic flaw of your gender.
25:55I get it.
25:55Just do me the honor of...
26:00Uh, we'd all like to get out of here.
26:02Is there a problem?
26:04My husband won't admit that he has lust in his heart.
26:07Can you give us a minute?
26:11Lynette, Claire is attractive.
26:14Yes.
26:16But I am not attracted to her.
26:19Look, if I thought for even a second that there was any danger in having Claire around,
26:23I'd be the first to get rid of her.
26:25It's you.
26:26You're the one.
26:28You always have been, and you always will be.
26:34All right, hold your water.
26:40Dime.
26:41Dime.
26:41Then as a coda, we drink ice cream soda here down at the old Five and Dime.
26:45Yeah!
26:50Yay!
26:51Hi, you guys.
26:52You're fantastic.
26:54They've got a dance floor upstairs, and we're going to go check it out.
26:56Okay?
26:57Have fun.
27:01Edie, over here.
27:04What the hell is she doing here?
27:05Well, I don't get to bring a date.
27:07I heard you were bringing him.
27:09Of all people, you pick that tired piece of Edie.
27:12Hi, Susan.
27:13Oh, thank you so much for the invite.
27:15God knows I needed something to get my mind off poor Martha.
27:18A kiss for the birthday boy.
27:28Um, Edie, it's not his birthday.
27:33Oh.
27:38Thank you, George.
27:40That was a lovely evening.
27:41The pleasure was mine.
27:43There's nothing better than a great conversation with a beautiful woman over a delicious meal.
27:51Well, I guess I should go inside.
27:54I'm glad we did this.
27:55Me too.
28:02Andrew!
28:02Andrew, where did you come from?
28:05I was just on my way back from Brian's house.
28:07What's going on here?
28:09Oh, uh, you remember Mr. Williams, our pharmacist?
28:12Hey there.
28:13How's it going?
28:14What are you doing in his car?
28:16Oh, we're just, um, talking.
28:20Mr. Williams took me out to dinner.
28:22You mean, like, on a date?
28:25Well, um...
28:30Yes.
28:32You are aware that she's married, right?
28:34Andrew, your father and I are separated and you know it.
28:37I don't care.
28:38Couldn't you at least wait until he was out of the house?
28:40The only reason he's still in the house is because you insisted I care for him.
28:44So, so what?
28:45What are you guys going to do now?
28:46Are, are, are you two going to have sex?
28:48No, we are not going to have sex.
28:50Why not?
28:50Because I don't commit adultery like your father.
28:58That's right.
28:59Your father had an affair.
29:00I found out about it and I'm just trying to move on with my life.
29:06You should watch out for her.
29:09She's a liar.
29:09Andrew.
29:23In spite of her mounting debt, Gabrielle was determined to prove she could get along just fine without Carlos' money.
29:34It wasn't until the electricity went out that she finally began to see the light.
29:51Mr. Hartley, it's Gabrielle Solis.
29:54I need you to start working on releasing Carlos on bail.
29:58Mm-hmm.
30:00I just remembered where I put his passport.
30:02But I, I took the sweet life, never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet.
30:11I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free.
30:20Hey, lady, I've been to paradise.
30:29But I've never been to me.
30:46Oh, thank you.
30:49Damn.
30:50Good.
30:53Yes.
30:54All right, you're next, Susie Q.
30:57Are you going to sing?
30:58Yes.
30:59You sing?
30:59Only when I'm alone.
31:01Come on, we're among friends.
31:02I don't think so.
31:03Well, I, for one, would love to hear your voice.
31:06Give it up, plumber.
31:07She's not budging.
31:10You want to hear me sing?
31:11Yeah.
31:12Okay.
31:17What's it going to be?
31:18I'll tell the piano player.
31:20New York, New York.
31:21Oh, I'm so excited to hear you.
31:24Oh.
31:25But doesn't it just figure?
31:27What do you mean?
31:28Do you have to get up in front of a room full of people dressed like that?
31:33I hope they don't turn on you.
31:35I think I'll take my chances, sort of like you did on those high notes.
31:41I'm going to get this tomorrow.
31:43That's a great idea.
31:44So, that Mike, he seems pretty even-keeled.
31:48Yeah.
31:48He's a great guy.
31:49But you know, I mean, he's a little Buster Brown.
31:53Don't you ever worry you're going to get bored?
31:55Thanks for your concern, Carl.
31:57I'm fine.
31:58Go figure.
32:00Even though our marriage was crazy at times, it never got dull.
32:03Yeah, that part when you slept with your secretary was really exciting.
32:07I know how many times we would have to hear it.
32:10It was a mistake.
32:11But don't I ever get credit for the 13 loyal years beforehand?
32:15You must not be counting the Henderson's Christmas party.
32:19Edie, not now.
32:20Oh, what's the big deal, Carl?
32:22Your marriage is history anyway.
32:24Edie.
32:25It was nothing, really.
32:26I mean, basically, we both got plastered on eggnog.
32:29And we found ourselves standing under the mistletoe.
32:33And we were like, okay, so what do we do now?
32:36So I smiled, and he smiled.
32:40And then Carl reached over and started feeling me up.
32:44Susie, that's not how it happened.
32:45All right, Susie, come on, you're up.
32:46What?
32:46It's so silly.
32:48Susie.
32:49Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Susan Meyer.
33:04Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today.
33:12I want to be a part of it, New York, New York.
33:19These vagabond shoes, you're an ass, you know that?
33:24No, keep playing.
33:25Are longing to stray.
33:28There's word, you know, right?
33:29And get around the heart of it.
33:32New York, New York.
33:36I want to just tell you that the affair was one thing.
33:41I mean, I forgave you because on some small level, I thought that you were in love with her.
33:45And now I find out that you were just groping people at parties.
33:49Top of the heap.
33:52Carl, don't you turn away from me.
33:54Look at me.
33:57You know, what else were you doing during our marriage?
33:59How many other women were you sticking it to?
34:01As God is my witness, it will snow on the hills of hell before I ever feel sorry for you
34:07again.
34:14New York!
34:20As the police interviewed the residents of Wisteria Lane about the mysterious disappearance of Martha Huber,
34:27My husband, Paul, reasoned it would only be a matter of time before their digging would begin to yield answers.
34:57Since he knew the police had no suspects,
35:02He decided to point them towards the most logical candidate.
35:10You see, if there's one thing Paul understood about the suburbs, it was this.
35:18No one's ever more suspicious than a new neighbor who's just moved in.
35:30Parker's getting sniffly.
35:32Yeah, I noticed that too.
35:34I hope he's not coming down with a cold.
35:36He doesn't have a cough yet, but he sort of has this post-nasal drip thing happening.
35:42I'll make an appointment for him.
35:45I always say it is better to be safe than sorry.
35:48Little kids get sick and it's, sorry, out of control.
35:55Man, kids with these colds are just as vicious as I can.
36:15I'm clear.
36:21We have to make some changes.
36:27What are you doing?
36:29I'm packing up your father's things for when he eventually moves out.
36:33Here, let me help you.
36:37Look, I talked to Dad and it turns out you were telling the truth.
36:46Oh, Andrew, I'm so sorry that I said anything.
36:50I mean, I'm glad you did.
36:52Now I know.
36:53There comes this point in every boy's life.
36:57What?
36:57Find out his dad's screwing around?
37:00No.
37:01That his father's only human.
37:05Son, why are you taking care of him?
37:08Is it because of what Danielle and I said?
37:10Because you can forget that.
37:11I'll help you take his stuff out on the street if you want.
37:14That's sweet, but I'm taking care of him because it's the right thing to do.
37:18Why are you being such a pushover?
37:21I mean, he cheated on you.
37:23He's a jerk.
37:26Andrew, you will not speak that way about your father in front of me.
37:30Why the hell not?
37:31I mean, for once, I'm actually on your side.
37:34Yes, I'm angry with him.
37:35I am going to divorce him.
37:37I may even marry somebody else, but make no mistake about it.
37:39Your father is and always will be the love of my life.
37:44He gave me the best 18-year marriage that...
37:50I could have ever hoped for.
37:55And for that, you will respect him.
37:59Okay.
38:20What is it I'm really, really busy?
38:22I came by to apologize.
38:24Oh, well, in that case, come on in.
38:27I'm not doing anything.
38:33I can't believe Edie brought the whole thing up.
38:37Susan, I am so sorry.
38:40I thought I was done hurting you.
38:42Yeah, me too.
38:45And just so you know, I'm sorry for flipping out.
38:50I shouldn't let you get to me like that.
38:55What?
38:56I do still get to you, don't I?
38:58That's the difference between the plumber and me.
39:01Now, don't get me wrong.
39:02He's a good guy.
39:03I mean, I like him.
39:05But I'm betting that you two don't have what we had together.
39:08There was always a spark between us.
39:11A spark?
39:13Look, what I'm trying to say is, he must seem really safe after me.
39:18A moray eel would seem safe after you.
39:22That's what I'm talking about.
39:24That great back and forth, joking around.
39:27We used to argue and push each other's buttons.
39:31Newsflash, I hated all of that.
39:33Come on, you have to admit, when it was good, it was the best.
39:38What are you saying?
39:41Let's give this another shot.
39:45You want me back?
39:46Yeah.
39:48Yeah.
39:49I realize now that you were the woman who was meant for me.
39:58Wow.
40:01Just so we're clear.
40:03So you want to move back in here and be faithful to me and love me with all your heart
40:09and soul?
40:11Absolutely.
40:12Oh, my God.
40:13This is so wonderful.
40:15Yeah.
40:15I know.
40:15I know.
40:18I want to kiss you.
40:19Oh, God.
40:20No, no, what I meant by wonderful is that I wondered inside if I still had feelings for you, if
40:28deep down I still loved you.
40:30And?
40:31And there's nothing there.
40:35Come on.
40:36You've got to feel something.
40:37Well, actually, I do.
40:38Yeah.
40:38Uh, excuse me.
40:41Oh, Lord.
40:58Susan.
40:59Mike, guess what?
41:01I love you.
41:03Are you sure?
41:04Yes.
41:05Yes.
41:12Did I come at a bad time?
41:13Um, they're just asking me some questions about this humor.
41:16Oh.
41:17I love you.
41:18You can write that in your little book.
41:25We are all searching for someone.
41:28That special person who will provide us what's missing in our lives.
41:33Someone who can offer companionship.
41:36George.
41:37Hi.
41:38It's me, Bree.
41:40I was wondering, are you free next Saturday?
41:43You are?
41:45Oh, that's wonderful.
41:46Or assistance.
41:48Hi.
41:49I understand your agency handles nannies.
41:52Uh, I need someone experienced and preferably unattractive.
41:58Or security.
41:59Hi, honey.
42:01Did the lawyer tell you the good news?
42:03You're going to make bail.
42:05I found your passport.
42:07And sometimes, if we search very hard, we can find someone who provides us...
42:13Oh, I just called to say hi.
42:14And I love you.
42:16...with all three.
42:17All right, all right.
42:19Enough already.
42:24Yes, we're all searching for someone.
42:27And if we can't find them, we can only pray that they find us.
42:34She got what?
42:35Oh, God.
42:37Oh, God.
42:39Oh, my God.