- 11 hours ago
Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 16
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:03Hey, Maisie.
00:05Are you having an affair with my husband?
00:07Mistresses were confronted.
00:09Very good to be back.
00:10What's that?
00:10I'm on house arrest. It's a condition of my bail.
00:12How are you gonna work?
00:13I can't. I can't do anything.
00:15The tables were turned.
00:16Good lord, that's Angela.
00:18And secrets from the past.
00:20I'm afraid you're mistaken. My wife's name was Mary Alice.
00:22Caught up with everyone.
00:24Such an idiot! And you're such a liar!
00:26Oh, and apparently a killer.
00:34Throughout even the most respectable of neighborhoods,
00:37you can hear the sound of scandal.
00:43Some scandals announce themselves with a shout.
00:46Ida! Ida Greenberg! That is not your paper!
00:52Some with a whisper.
00:54Throw me a 20 and I'll hook you up with free porn.
01:00And some with a bang.
01:02Get the hell off my line!
01:06And once in a great while,
01:08there comes a scandal so deliciously sorted,
01:11its roar drowns out all other noise.
01:14So your husband, do you have any idea how many men pay
01:17for the privilege of sleeping in this bed?
01:19There's not a lot of sleeping going on.
01:22Not if I'm doing my job right.
01:25So, how do you want to get started?
01:28With these.
01:31Well, that's going to cost you extra.
01:34Maisie Gibbons, you're under arrest for solicitation.
01:37What?
01:38Please turn and place your hands on the bed.
01:40I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
01:42Now.
01:43Hey!
01:45Get off me!
01:47This is entrapment.
01:49You all are making a gigantic mistake.
01:52Yeah, yeah.
01:52Hey, fellas, here's one for your memoirs.
01:54Hey!
01:58Come on.
01:59No!
02:01Don't you touch me!
02:02Get your hands off me!
02:04Hey!
02:05Yes, the scandalous arrest of Maisie Gibbons
02:09would soon prove to be the shot heard round the world.
02:13You don't want to ruin that night.
02:36Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
02:54Hey, you're not coming in there!
02:55Why don't you put me in here?!
02:57It is often said that good news travels fast.
03:00But as every housewife knows, bad news moves quite a bit faster.
03:05Tish, hey, you are not going to believe this.
03:10Maisie Gibbons was arrested.
03:12You cannot be serious.
03:13Hey, did you hear about Maisie's been a man in the past just this week?
03:15She has here.
03:17She has here.
03:17Maisie Gibbons running in handcuffs.
03:20I'd have killed to see that.
03:21I'll be right back.
03:24Ladies, please calm down.
03:26This is just a precaution.
03:28If you'll just take a flyer, we can work together.
03:30What's going on?
03:31Oh, there's been an outbreak of head lice.
03:34Head lice?
03:35These flyers detail all the important information concerning the situation,
03:40including the recommended delousing cones.
03:43Delousing?
03:43Do they have to make it sound so disgusting?
03:45Does anybody know where it started?
03:46I'm sorry, that's confidential information.
03:49Barcliffe maintains a strict no-blame policy.
03:52Hey, guys, over here.
03:53I think parents have a right to know who brought this into our school.
03:56Please calm down, ma'am.
03:58Our position is that there's nothing to be gained by pointing fingers.
04:01To identify the child who initiated the outbreak
04:04might result in him or her being subjected to ridicule.
04:11I, um...
04:12Excuse me.
04:13If you'll just take a flyer...
04:15Stop scratching.
04:16Stop scratching.
04:16No, no, stop it.
04:17Guys, let's go.
04:19Hey, stop scratching.
04:20I mean, stop, stop.
04:21Just...
04:22Hey.
04:22See you later.
04:23Bye.
04:40What the hell?
04:44Gabrielle!
04:46What?
04:47Hey, Gabrielle!
04:48I think we got a problem here!
04:50I can't hear you!
04:50I said I think we got a problem!
04:52The water's backing up here!
04:54What?
04:56That's sewage?
05:00Yeah, that's sewage.
05:02So, uh, Mike, the suspense is killing us.
05:06Why don't you just tell us the bad news?
05:08Well, your outtake pipe's completely corroded.
05:11That's why it collapsed.
05:12We're gonna have to tear it out and re-pipe the whole system.
05:15And how much is this gonna cost?
05:18I'll do the job for you at cost, but you're still looking at six, seven grand minimum.
05:23Okay.
05:24Well, we'll let you know.
05:27Um, if, uh, money's an issue...
05:30Oh, no, no, no, it's not the money.
05:33It's just, uh, Carlos and I are trying to prioritize some little things we need to do around the house.
05:37All right, and, uh, you don't consider sewage backing up in the house a priority?
05:42It's definitely on the short list.
05:49I'm kind of surprised you called me.
05:51Why?
05:51Well, um, ever since my arrest, you know, nobody around here seems to want to have much to do with
05:57me.
06:00Innocent until proven guilty, my man.
06:04Hope he's more innocent than you are.
06:08Hey, it's Lynette.
06:09I know you're down about this mic thing, but you gotta come to poker.
06:13It'll be worth it.
06:14I got dirt on Maisie Givens.
06:18Hey, Susan.
06:19It's me.
06:20Look, I really wish you'd return my calls.
06:23We need to talk.
06:24I know I miss things.
06:27You okay?
06:30Hi.
06:31You know, I can stay home if you want.
06:33No, no, no, no.
06:35I know how much you were looking forward to this weekend with your dad.
06:38I'm fine.
06:39You don't look fine.
06:41Well, a little sad.
06:45Mike and I were just a fling.
06:47Not even a full fling.
06:48Sort of a borderline fling.
06:51Mom, anyone can see how much you loved him.
06:54Well, I also loved junk food, and I gave that up, and I survived.
06:57There's your father.
06:58Go have fun.
07:02Last chance.
07:03You sure?
07:04I'm sure.
07:05Now go.
07:07Now go.
07:15You'll find someone else, Mom.
07:18Someone great.
07:20I know it.
07:34What's wrong, Rex?
07:35Didn't you enjoy your golf game with Dr. Wallace?
07:37I didn't play.
07:39I'm still feeling sluggish.
07:41Still?
07:42Did you talk to him about that?
07:43Yeah, of course.
07:44He doesn't understand why the medication isn't working.
07:46He wants me to come in for a checkup tomorrow.
07:50I can see that Tish is making the round.
07:52She must have some juicy new anecdote.
07:55Now get her over here.
07:56I could use a funny story today.
07:59Tish.
08:00Tish.
08:02Oh, I can tell by that look on your face you've got something good.
08:05Now come on, don't be selfish.
08:07Well, first off, you're not friends with Maisie Gibbons, are you?
08:13No, thank God, because this is too good.
08:17Maisie was arrested.
08:19While Harold was at work, she was having sex with men in her house for money.
08:23Can you imagine?
08:27No, I can't.
08:29And that's not even the best part.
08:30Word is, she had a little black book with all her clients' names.
08:37So, uh, you think that'll get out?
08:40Of course, these things always do.
08:42Nancy, wait up.
08:43I can't wait till I tell you this.
08:45No, wait, wait.
08:47Well, you heard your funny story, Rex.
08:51Why aren't you laughing?
08:57I can't wait till I tell you this.
09:13Yeah, here, see?
09:15It's this little white thing, look.
09:18It looks like a, oh, jeez.
09:19It looks like a sesame seed.
09:21That's cool.
09:22Yeah, well, there's lots more where that came from.
09:24No, I'm so sorry.
09:26He must be so disappointed.
09:27But look, we'll get all the boys together once Topher's back on his feet.
09:32Bye.
09:33What Tammy want?
09:34She's canceling Topher's birthday party on Sunday.
09:36He's come down with the measles, huh?
09:39Yeasles, huh?
09:40Yeah.
09:43What?
09:44Tammy Brennan spent a fortune on Topher's party.
09:47She'd call in specialists from Switzerland before she'd let it be canceled.
09:50Okay.
09:51Well, why would Tammy lie to us?
09:53Because she saw Porter scratching his head at school.
09:57They all did.
09:58And now word's getting around.
09:59Why is everything a conspiracy theory with you?
10:01I mean, lots of kids get lice.
10:02It's not that big a deal.
10:03Well, it is for the rich B.I.T.C.H.s at Barcliff Academy.
10:07Lynette.
10:07It's been one day, and they were disinvited to a birthday party.
10:11If rumors start flying, these boys can kiss campouts and pool parties goodbye.
10:16Uh-oh.
10:18Yeah.
10:18Not so cool now, huh?
10:22It's all here.
10:23Appraisal, title search, and escrow documents.
10:26Again, I'm sorry about changing my mind, but this just isn't really a good time to sell the house.
10:30Zach's going through a lot, and he wants to finish high school before moving.
10:33Ah, forget it.
10:34It's part of the business.
10:34I expect to get screwed over.
10:37Now, where is your house key?
10:41Oh, I must have left it at home.
10:43I'll bring it by tonight.
10:45No one will be here.
10:46Zach's away on a school trip, and I'm going to Mount Pleasant on business today.
10:49Just drop it by tomorrow.
10:52Or I could just keep it.
10:55What?
10:56It's a joke, Paul.
10:57Well, I know your wife's dead and all, but it's been six months.
11:00Lighten up.
11:02Hello.
11:03Felicia.
11:04Oh, hi, Felicia.
11:06Edie, I found this in my sister's things.
11:08It has your name on it.
11:10Oh, my necklace.
11:13Oh, you know, I lent this to Martha three months ago, and she said that it went down the drain.
11:20Oh, I miss how we used to steal things from one another.
11:24So, Felicia, I heard they have a suspect in your sister's murder.
11:30Mike Delfino.
11:31Oh, he didn't kill her.
11:33But they found her jewelry in his garage.
11:34But his fingerprints weren't on any of it.
11:37Well, that just means he wore gloves.
11:38So, he's smart enough to use gloves, but he leaves her blood-spattered jewelry lying around for anyone to find.
11:46Please.
11:47Is that what you'd do if you killed someone?
11:50I don't know what goes to the mind of a murderer.
11:52I'm just saying I wouldn't trust him if I were you.
12:00Edie, that is lovely.
12:02Is it an antique?
12:04Yeah, I think so.
12:05You know, I know a store you would love.
12:07It specializes in antique jewelry.
12:09It's in Salt Lake City.
12:11Have you ever been to Salt Lake City?
12:12No, I try to steer clear of Utah.
12:15It's a little too conservative for me.
12:18Too bad.
12:20Have you ever been, Paul?
12:22No.
12:24It's lovely.
12:26I used to live there when I was a nurse.
12:30You should definitely go sometime.
12:34Bye.
12:40With no indoor plumbing, Gabrielle was now forced to improvise when it came to her personal hygiene.
12:47Wherever and whenever she had the opportunity.
12:54Sorry.
12:56That's okay.
12:57I was just about to give a Maisie Gibbons update.
13:00Guys, we should be ashamed of ourselves for reveling in that woman's misery.
13:06That being said, Edie, please continue.
13:11Well, I hear from a very reliable source that Maisie's going to cut a deal with the prosecution.
13:17Apparently, she has some high-profile johns and the DA's looking for a second term.
13:23I don't get it.
13:24I don't get who would pay Maisie for sex.
13:27Obviously, someone who's not getting it at home.
13:30So, the upshot is, Maisie is going to turn over her little black book with all of her clients' names.
13:38Really?
13:39Yep.
13:40And can you imagine the fallout when this goes public?
13:44Blood on the walls.
13:48I'm all in.
13:50I'll call.
13:54Bree?
13:58Uh, what just happened?
14:00Steaks were raised.
14:03Yes.
14:04Yes, they were.
14:07I'm gold.
14:09I can't believe how lucky you were today.
14:11Look, it had nothing to do with it.
14:13I had crappy cards.
14:14I was bluffing the entire time.
14:15Really?
14:16Wow, you're good.
14:18Now, that's the only nice thing I could say about my first husband.
14:22He taught me how to bluff.
14:23You played poker?
14:24No, he was lousy in bed.
14:27I had to fake a lot of orgasms.
14:33You don't have to respond.
14:37So, uh, where was Susan today?
14:41Uh, I'm not sure.
14:44Wow.
14:45Tom must be great in bed.
14:47Huh?
14:48Well, obviously, you have no idea how to bluff.
14:53Okay.
14:55She's going through something, and I'm sure she'd prefer it to be private.
14:58She's upset with Mike, isn't she?
15:01Well, come on.
15:02I'm going to find out sooner or later.
15:06She's devastated about the breakup, and she hasn't left the house in days.
15:10Well, why didn't you just tell me that?
15:13Because it's personal.
15:14It's the kind of thing she would only want me to tell her friends.
15:17I'm Susan's friend.
15:21Well, I don't hate her.
15:24Edie, if you want me to share stuff with you, you're going to have to start being more supportive of
15:28Susan.
15:28Okay.
15:30How?
15:32What do friends do?
15:34They call.
15:35They're sympathetic.
15:36They ask about the pain the other person is going through, and then they listen.
15:41Well, what if you want to be supportive, but you just can't stand listening to people bitch?
15:47Then it's good to know how to bluff.
15:59I'd say that.
16:09Hey guys.
16:12Amen.
16:19I really think you do deserve this award.
16:42God, I have to go to the bathroom again.
16:44Go to Bree's.
16:45Been to Bree's twice today.
16:47Then go to Susan's.
16:48I hate Susan's.
16:49She has all these weird scented candles.
16:51Her house reeks of apricot.
16:53Hose.
16:54How about Lynette's?
16:56No, you don't understand.
16:57I don't want to go to anybody's house anymore.
16:59I'm tired of knocking on doors and making up excuses as to why we haven't fixed our plumbing.
17:04Why are you yelling at me?
17:05Because it's your fault.
17:06My fault?
17:07Yes.
17:08If you hadn't gotten yourself indicted, we would have pipes right now.
17:11I got indicted trying to make enough money to keep you happy.
17:13In case you hadn't noticed, you're a little materialistic.
17:15Oh, I'm materialistic?
17:17When the Johnsons bought their new 7 Series, you were the one who went right in and traded
17:21in his car for something better.
17:23Who ended up driving it?
17:24You know what?
17:25I don't have time to fight right now.
17:27I have laundry to do.
17:39Nurse Abigail?
17:41Mrs. Scava, right?
17:43The twins' mother?
17:44I just wanted to tell you that the boys are now lice-free.
17:49Good to hear.
17:55I just can't figure out how it happened.
17:58They get a bath every night.
18:00Trust me.
18:01It's the ugliest 15 minutes of the day.
18:04I believe you.
18:07I keep thinking that maybe it was the petting zoo that I took them to last week.
18:12That llama was really iffy.
18:14Mrs. Scava, it doesn't work that way.
18:16Lice only spreads from human to human.
18:18Even the cleanest kid in the world can get it if he gets too close to the wrong kid.
18:23Really?
18:23Yes.
18:25So don't be so hard on yourself, huh?
18:27I guess.
18:28Still, I can't help but feel a little guilty.
18:31After all, my kids started an entire lice outbreak.
18:36Look, your kids didn't start it.
18:41They didn't?
18:42No.
18:43I know for a fact that Patient Zero was another little boy.
18:46This is his fourth time with this particular problem.
18:50Ah.
18:52That's a load off my mind.
18:56Well, thank you.
19:01So which kid is it?
19:04I can't tell you.
19:05You know we have a no-blame policy.
19:08We have to protect the children.
19:10You understand.
19:11Of course.
19:15No, I don't.
19:16You're going to have to give me a name.
19:18Mrs. Scava.
19:19Here's the thing.
19:20Acting like parents won't assign blame
19:22is like pretending they don't keep score at Pee Wee League games.
19:26It's human nature.
19:26If you don't give the mob someone to blame,
19:29they'll pick a scapegoat.
19:30I can't let my boys be the scapegoat.
19:32Please don't put me in this position.
19:33I'm begging you.
19:35They've already been uninvited from a birthday party.
19:37A really big birthday party
19:39with a bouncy house and a hot dog stand and a clown.
19:43I wish I could help you.
19:44For God's sakes, there's going to be a magician.
19:46Tammy Brennan went all out.
19:50Tammy Brennan?
19:53Topher's mother?
19:54Yes.
19:56Well, isn't that interesting?
19:59Have a seat.
20:05Meanwhile, at the Fairview County Prison,
20:08Maisie Gibbons was delighted to find out she had a visitor.
20:11But she was soon reminded one should always beware of visitors
20:15bearing gift baskets.
20:20You've got to be kidding me.
20:22Hello, Maisie.
20:24Hello, Maisie.
20:25I don't know.
20:59Ta-da!
21:06Stuff like this is why I love you.
21:19So, what brings you here?
21:23I need a favor.
21:25I thought as much.
21:28I heard that there's a, um, little black book with the name of your clients in it.
21:34There is?
21:36I was wondering if perhaps you could remove Rex's name from that little book.
21:42Wow, that's a big favor.
21:45Those muffins better be really good.
21:50I have some money that I've been putting aside for emergencies.
21:54It can be all yours if you just keep my mouth shut.
22:01Continue to be discreet.
22:05Gosh, I don't know.
22:09I don't think it's asking that much.
22:12All you need to do is remove one little name.
22:14But if I do it for you, then I have to do it for all the other wives.
22:20That wouldn't be fair now, would it?
22:23Maisie, please.
22:24I mean, we used to be good friends.
22:27Where were you when Harold lost his job a year ago?
22:31Did you stop by to see if there was anything that you could do?
22:33Did you bring a big basket of baked goods when you knew we couldn't even pay our bills?
22:38If you did, those displays of friendship seemed to have slipped my mind.
22:44Maisie, I didn't mention it when you were having financial troubles because...
22:49Well, I thought it would embarrass you.
22:53Yes, I would have been embarrassed, but it would have been a whole lot better than the silence.
22:58I have $14,000 in that account. It can all be yours.
23:06I'm not interested.
23:13But you do get credit for one thing.
23:17You came to visit me, even if it was for an ulterior motive.
23:22None of the other girls in the club even bothered.
23:25I've been abandoned.
23:27Guess that's what happens when you become the town whore.
23:31Oh, sweetie.
23:33They didn't abandon you because you're a whore.
23:35Sure, they abandoned you because you weren't all that nice to begin with.
23:57Who is it?
23:58It's Edie.
23:59Oh, Edie, not now. I'm kind of busy.
24:02Hi.
24:03Or just come on in.
24:04What are you doing?
24:07I decided that my life is way too complicated, and so I'm simplifying.
24:13I am getting rid of the clutter.
24:16Ooh.
24:18I was on vacation.
24:20Made sense at the time.
24:23Okay, not to be rude, but is there a reason you're here?
24:28Look, I'm feeling badly about what you're going through with Mike.
24:31And don't worry, I'm not going to date him.
24:33It doesn't matter anymore.
24:35Well, don't get me wrong, I still have every intention of sleeping with him.
24:40Some mountains are just meant to be climbed.
24:42I've got to learn to keep my doors locked.
24:47How long have you been sitting here?
24:49I don't know.
24:50Five minutes, give or take three hours.
24:53That's it. Get up.
24:55Get dressed.
24:56Why?
24:57Because you're coming with me.
24:58It's time to get wasted.
25:00Happy hour started 45 minutes ago.
25:02Why would I go anywhere with you?
25:03Because that's what normal women do when they get depressed.
25:07They put on short skirts, they go to bars with their girlfriends,
25:10maybe have one too many,
25:11and then make out with some strange man in the back of a dark alley.
25:15Wow.
25:17Oh, come on.
25:18It'll be fun.
25:20I swear.
25:21Come on.
25:21Come on.
25:22Why do you even care?
25:24I never said I cared.
25:28It's just...
25:29Well, I...
25:32I guess I know what it's like to have your heart stomped on.
25:38Okay.
25:40All right.
25:41Give me a minute, I'll go change my clothes.
25:44And don't forget to do something with that skanky hair.
25:49You're a little scary looking.
25:55Ah, what about him?
25:58Not my type.
26:00Oh, look.
26:01I know the pickings are slim,
26:02but isn't there someone here that you're attracted to?
26:05I hate them all.
26:07Look at them just leering at us.
26:09They're so damn cocky,
26:10like they know they have the upper hand.
26:12What are you talking about?
26:13We have the upper hand.
26:14Without us, they have nothing.
26:16Maybe 15 years ago, not anymore.
26:18Now we're just lonely and desperate,
26:20and they know it.
26:22And they just sit there, ready to pounce,
26:24waiting for us to take any crumb
26:26they're willing to throw our way.
26:30I don't want crumbs.
26:31I want Mike.
26:33Hi.
26:34Um, I'm going to be spending the whole night with her,
26:37so I'm going to be needing a lot more of these.
26:40I'm sorry.
26:41It's so hard to find a guy like Mike.
26:44I know in my heart he didn't kill Mrs. Hooper.
26:48Okay.
26:48Let's say Mike's a peach,
26:50and he didn't kill Martha.
26:51Who did?
26:52I don't know.
26:54Obviously a bad guy.
26:55Somebody really awful.
26:57Somebody like...
26:59Somebody like Paul Young.
27:01Paul?
27:04Are you serious?
27:06I'm telling you, he's hiding something.
27:08He clams up every time we try to ask him about Mary Alice.
27:13And then when we found out about Dana...
27:15Dana?
27:16Who's Dana?
27:18Paul and Mary Alice had a baby that died.
27:21You're kidding.
27:23Zach killed her.
27:24Holy crap.
27:25Who told you that?
27:26Paul.
27:28He said it was an accident,
27:29but I'm telling you,
27:30I think that's why Mary Alice was being blackmailed.
27:32Mary Alice was being blackmailed?
27:34Yeah.
27:35The girls and I found a threatening note in her stuff.
27:40What the hell kind of street do we live on?
27:47Come to think of it,
27:48the other day,
27:50Paul was talking to Felicia,
27:51and he was working overtime
27:53trying to make Mike sound guilty.
27:55See?
27:56Shifting blame onto someone else,
27:58that's classic criminal behavior.
27:59Oh, I'm telling you, he's up to no good.
28:02Zach and Paul are out of town.
28:03Maybe we should sneak into their house
28:05and do some snooping.
28:06I have the key.
28:07Oh, my God, yes.
28:08We should do that.
28:09Oh, come on.
28:09I was just kidding.
28:10No, Hedy, this is our chance.
28:12We should just go in for 10 minutes.
28:13Susan, that's breaking and entering.
28:16Martha Hoover was your best friend.
28:18If we could find out who really killed her,
28:20wouldn't that be worth the risk?
28:27Have a nice evening.
28:30Serena, hi.
28:31How are you?
28:35I talked to Dr. Wallace today.
28:38Oh?
28:39He still has no idea
28:40why the medication isn't working.
28:42He told me he's thinking of running more tests.
28:44I told him I'm thinking about getting a second opinion.
28:50Rex, this might sound silly,
28:52but are people staring at us?
28:54I see so.
28:56That's good.
28:58Yeah.
29:01What's going on?
29:03Well, I could be wrong,
29:04but I suspect that
29:06Maisie Gibbons' client list
29:07has been released.
29:14You think they're laughing at us?
29:16No.
29:17I think they're laughing at you.
29:19I think they feel sorry for me,
29:21which is just as mortifying.
29:23What are we going to do?
29:24Um,
29:26we're going to act like
29:27nothing is happening,
29:28and then
29:29when we finish eating,
29:30we're going to walk out of here
29:31with all the dignity
29:32that we can muster.
29:36Please,
29:37let's go now.
29:38Oh, no.
29:39I refuse to give them
29:40this kind of satisfaction.
29:41Open your menu.
29:42Everybody's staring,
29:44Bree.
29:44It's humiliating.
29:45Well,
29:45you should have thought of that
29:46before you left a personal check
29:47on Maisie Gibbons' nightstand.
29:49All right,
29:49you stay here if you want to.
29:51I'm leaving.
29:51Rex,
29:52if you walk out of this restaurant,
29:54I will scream.
29:56Bree?
29:56I will scream
29:57about your cruelty.
29:59Then I will scream
30:00about your infidelity.
30:02And then just to make sure
30:03it really hurts,
30:03I will scream about
30:04your distasteful sexual habits.
30:07You want to know
30:08what true humiliation is?
30:09You just take one step.
30:12What?
30:29So,
30:30what are you having?
30:32The veal looks good.
30:46what are we looking for exactly?
30:48An embroidered pillow
30:49that says,
30:50I killed Martha Hoover?
30:51I don't know.
30:52Just something suspicious.
30:57Mmm,
30:58smells expensive.
31:05Do you believe in evil,
31:06Edie?
31:07Of course I believe in evil.
31:08I work in real estate.
31:10I'm serious.
31:12There's something about this house
31:13that's just so cold
31:15and creepy.
31:16You couldn't tell
31:17when Mary Alice was alive.
31:20She just brought
31:21so much warmth
31:22and light.
31:25Now there's something
31:28I could just taste it.
31:30Can't you sense it?
31:31The only thing I can sense
31:33is that you've had
31:33too much to drink.
31:35Oh,
31:35something happened
31:36in this house.
31:37Something
31:38so awful
31:39we can't even imagine it.
31:42Ow!
31:43Son of a bitch!
31:45Are you okay?
31:46Ah!
31:47I just stubbed
31:48my toe.
31:50Oh my God,
31:51Angela.
31:52Huh?
31:53Angela,
31:53that's what Mary Alice
31:54used to call herself.
31:55What are you talking about?
31:56We heard it on this tape
31:58that Bree stole
31:58from her therapist's office.
31:59It's a long story.
32:00I'll tell you later.
32:00Oh,
32:01we've got to pop this in.
32:04Hey,
32:04what was that?
32:08I think it's Paul.
32:09You said he was
32:10going to be gone.
32:11Well,
32:11I guess I was wrong.
32:14Hurry!
32:15I got to get the tape.
32:16Hide!
32:19Oh,
32:20oh,
32:20oh!
32:21Yeah.
32:45Paul!
32:46Oh!
32:48Edie!
32:49God, you scared me.
32:50I'm sorry.
32:51I see that you made it back from Mount Pleasant.
32:55Yes.
32:56What are you doing here?
32:58Oh, I came by to bring you your key.
33:00I was just about to leave you a note.
33:01You're returning my key at 11.30 at night.
33:04What the hell's going on here?
33:07You're right.
33:09We're too old to be playing games.
33:11What?
33:12My note was going to tell you that I...
33:15I...
33:16I wasn't kidding this afternoon.
33:18I really would like to keep a key to your place
33:21to use if the mood strikes me.
33:26You've been drinking.
33:28Just enough to get up the courage
33:30to tell you how I feel about you.
33:34Mmm.
33:37Mmm.
33:39Mmm.
33:40Mmm.
33:42Mmm.
33:44Mmm.
33:46Mmm.
33:48Mmm.
34:06Okay, well...
34:07Obviously...
34:08You're...
34:09uncomfortable...
34:09about this.
34:10So I...
34:10I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you.
34:12Here.
34:13Here's your key.
34:15i'll see you around edie um i'm not embarrassed huh if anything i'm flattered
34:30susan susan talk to me mike it's not a good time i'm a little drunk and a little freaked out
34:35what
34:36happened you returned any of my messages we're broken up i thought i made that pretty clear
34:39no come on can't we work this out you lied to me when when did i lie to you the
34:45police showed me
34:46your rap sheet you killed a man you can't believe i'm some cold-blooded killer no of course i don't
34:51believe that but i also didn't believe that carl was gonna cheat on me and i didn't believe that
34:55mary alice was gonna kill herself i mean let's face it mike blind faith is not my friend i was
35:00gonna tell you there just wasn't a right moment see now that's a lie too because there were plenty
35:05of right moments susan every time we went out for pizza you could have said oh and by the way
35:09i once killed a man or when you said hey let's go jogging you could have said wow by the
35:14way i
35:14once killed a man every time we went to the movies and the hero shot the bad guy you could
35:18have turned
35:19to me and said oh and by the way i did that once you didn't do you want to hear
35:23what happened or not
35:25it doesn't matter because i will never believe anything you say ever again
35:44well at the very least you can believe that
36:06occupy carlos i have to go well you're gonna have to wait why should i have to wait it's my
36:11port-a-potty what do you mean it's yours i'm the one who stole it babe i'm sorry you're just
36:17gonna
36:17have to wait
36:26thank you so much brie seeing your tile has really helped me make my decision next time i remodel i
36:32am using limestone gabrielle is everything okay sure why well it's just that you've been acting
36:42kind of odd lately in what way well you keep coming up with excuses to use everyone's bathroom
36:49and then two days ago mr cowley looked into your backyard and saw you and carlos doing your laundry
36:56and the jacuzzi well uh there's a simple explanation for that i am are you carlos having
37:07some sort of money trouble gabby it's okay if you are is that so yes and and to tell you
37:16the truth
37:16i'm a little insulted i am a good friend why would you feel like you have to hide that from
37:21me
37:23i don't know probably for the same reason you didn't tell me rex was one of maizey's clients
37:30that is obviously different why because it happened to you
37:38brie this is how i see it good friends support each other after they've been humiliated
37:43great friends pretend nothing happened in the first place
37:52well then good luck on your remodel and please tell rex i said hello
38:20hey tammy
38:24lynette
38:26see tofer's made a speedy recovery can we go play yeah sure boys have fun
38:37all right you caught me i lied
38:42but uh you sure have some nerve crashing a six-year-old's birthday party
38:46just so you know i got tofer a set of bongo drums i know you'll love them as much as
38:51he will
38:51charlie come on out of there i don't want you playing with those scum boys
38:55uh mona please i'm sure they're clean
39:00you are not ruining my party
39:02you are not ruining my party
39:03you are not ruining my party
39:05porter preston okay out out out come on
39:09porter preston let's go
39:10not not not quite yet boys keep bouncing that's right keep bouncing
39:14oh by the way i spoke to nurse abigail
39:18i know who patient zero is
39:21all right that's it kids get out get out out out out go go
39:28how could you do that look this party meant everything to tofer i couldn't risk people not
39:34showing up he would be devastated i had to do something and the best you could come up with
39:39was letting my kids take the fall hey i hardly had to say anything people were already suspicious
39:44oh please yeah it's true let's face it your boys aren't the cleanest kids on the planet
39:52that was not a smart thing to say
39:55where are you going i'm going to tell the truth to every mother out there and then
40:00i'm gonna take back the bongos
40:02no wait okay all right uh look i was i was wrong i admit it i am really really really
40:08sorry
40:09too little too late okay okay no i'll i'll tell everyone that i was wrong that your kids aren't
40:15the ones please i'm begging you
40:22well why it's standing there get to it
40:38hey hi hi what's up
40:42well um i've been doing some thinking
40:45rex and i have been members of the fairview country club for years and
40:49well lately it seems to have lost some of its
40:53exclusivity and so i've decided not to renew our membership
40:56i'd rather see the money go to someone i care about
41:09oh brie i i can't take that
41:11gabby this is the way i see it
41:14good friends offer to help in a crisis
41:17great friends don't take no for an answer
41:31we're gonna pay you back every cent i promise
41:43yes everyone loves a scandal
41:48no matter how big or small
41:55after all what could be more entertaining than watching the downfall of the high and mighty
42:06what could be more amusing than the public exposure of hypocritical sinners
42:15yes everyone loves a scandal and if for some reason you're not enjoying the latest one
42:26well the next one is always around the corner
42:37so
42:42no
43:00thanks for having me
43:12Transcription by CastingWords
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