- 1 day ago
Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 16
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:27Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Paul Young has a toy chest of his very own.
00:33For revenge.
00:36What made my husband, Paul Young, such a good investor
00:39was his uncanny ability to anticipate the future.
00:43Zach, how did you do this?
00:45He foresaw the necessity of the Velcro shoe.
00:49He predicted the advent of the $3 cup of coffee.
00:54He even anticipated the surprising boom in bottled water.
01:00Yeah, it's Paul Young.
01:01I've been reading about the election results in Brazil.
01:04It's time to buy sugar.
01:10But the crystal ball that served Paul so well in the stock market
01:14sometimes failed him closer to home.
01:18Paul Young?
01:19Yeah.
01:20Detective Sullivan, you need to come downtown for questioning.
01:23About what?
01:24We're investigating reports of credit card fraud,
01:27and your name has been linked with several of the victims.
01:29Well, it must be some mistake.
01:32Could be, but we still need to go downtown and straighten it out.
01:35All right.
01:39How long is this going to take?
01:40Don't worry about it.
01:41It's just a mix-up.
01:51Let's go.
02:00What's going on?
02:01I thought you just wanted to ask me some questions.
02:03That's after you're booked.
02:04Booked?
02:05Booked for what?
02:06You can't book him here anyhow, Detective.
02:09Computers are down.
02:10We're all full up.
02:12You've got to take me out of county.
02:13What is going on?
02:14This is crazy.
02:15I want to call my lawyer.
02:17What the hell do you guys think you're doing anyway?
02:19Huh?
02:21This is ridiculous.
02:26I get a phone call.
02:30Yes.
02:31In the world of investments,
02:32my husband had a remarkable ability to see the future.
02:37Got a message for your part, Young.
02:41Deidre's father said to give you his regards.
02:48But sadly, Paul didn't see this one coming at all.
02:59Brie Vandekamp had a weekly routine she'd been following for years.
03:07She cleaned on Tuesdays.
03:10She paid her bills on Wednesdays.
03:14She did her laundry on Thursdays.
03:18And after these daily chores were completed,
03:21she would reward herself with a little drink.
03:24What Brie didn't know was this latest addition to her routine had been noticed by her friends.
03:31And it had now become part of their routine to discuss it.
03:36So, apparently, Brie had a few too many and passed out.
03:40Next thing I know, I get a call at work.
03:43Someone found my kids wandering the street.
03:45Oh, my God.
03:46Have you seen Brie since?
03:48No.
03:48I'm worried about her, but I don't know how I'm going to get over what she did.
04:01Hey, Brie.
04:03How are you doing today?
04:04I'm really well.
04:06Um, I just saw you all talking before Lynette went off to work.
04:10What were you all talking about?
04:11Oh, nothing, really.
04:13Carlos and I are going to go see the adoption counselor today.
04:16Checking myself into the hospital.
04:17I'm finally going to get that surgery.
04:19Oh, good for you.
04:22Did Lynette mention the little tiff we had?
04:25Just in passing.
04:27She barely mentioned it.
04:28Because what happened was I accidentally mixed my antihistamine medication with, you know,
04:34a little glass of wine I was having, and I fell asleep, you know, while I was watching her kids.
04:40I mean, I like a little wine with dinner.
04:42I mean, now and then.
04:44You know, who doesn't?
04:45But, I mean, you know, to trash my entire reputation.
04:49Oh, Brie, she didn't trash you.
04:51Honest.
04:54Well, good.
04:55I mean, I just, I really wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression.
04:59Well, I'm, I'm going to the mall.
05:01They're having a white sale today.
05:02I think I'm going to get a new bath mat.
05:04Oh, does anyone need one?
05:06I'm good.
05:07Okay.
05:08Take care.
05:12Wow.
05:13Did you smell the alcohol on her breath?
05:16I sure did.
05:18Oh.
05:19Then, our Eskimo turns into camera and says,
05:23Polar Fresh Mints will give your breath an A plus two.
05:30So, what do you think?
05:32It feels a little familiar.
05:36Really?
05:36I don't think so.
05:37No, I'm pretty sure the Lowell Group used Eskimos in a deodorant commercial they had last month.
05:41Remember?
05:41Oh, this is completely different.
05:42Those were jock Eskimos competing in the Iditarod.
05:45Our Eskimo's trying to, you know, patch things up with his wife.
05:47Yeah, no, I get the subtle distinction.
05:52I think we can do better.
05:54Okay?
05:55So, Sally, you're up.
05:56What do you got for me?
06:03Hey.
06:04Hey.
06:05I got the subtle distinction?
06:07What was that about?
06:08If you really want to do this now, shut the door.
06:11Okay, sure.
06:12I was a little bitchy, but you know why?
06:14You did a half-assed job in there.
06:15Hey, you may not like my idea, but you can't say I didn't work hard.
06:18Oh, please.
06:20I live with you.
06:22Last night, when you should have been trying to make that pitch work, you were watching the game.
06:25I wasn't watching the game.
06:27They saw you.
06:28What?
06:28Okay, now, I can't check the score.
06:30Are you saying you gave your heart and soul to that Eskimo pitch?
06:33I worked really hard on that pitch.
06:36Did you give it 100%?
06:39Well, exactly.
06:39So, big deal.
06:41Go work up some new ideas, and then we'll go over it during lunch.
06:45Okay.
06:49You're the boss.
06:52Yes, I am.
06:56Hey.
06:58Susan.
06:59Good to see you again.
07:00I'm really looking forward to your surgery.
07:02And I'm really hoping you're a lefty.
07:04Nope.
07:05I can't even write my name.
07:06But that's what I get for throwing my kid a roller skating party.
07:11Funny.
07:11So, what about my surgery?
07:13Oh, I'll still do it.
07:15With Dr. Ron's help, of course.
07:17Dr. Cunningham will be standing right beside me.
07:19It's my hands and his brain.
07:20You got the best parts of both of us.
07:22Then I'm on board.
07:23We're keeping you under observation, so hopefully we'll operate tomorrow.
07:28If you don't mind, I'd like a minute to consult with my patient.
07:31Oh, right.
07:32You're a little thing.
07:37What little thing?
07:39Uh, well, it was going to be a surprise, but...
07:45Oh, my God.
07:46They're beautiful.
07:51Look, I've been thinking about us a lot lately, about putting this operation behind us and
07:57where we'll go from there, our future, together.
08:02And I really suck at putting my emotions into words, which is why I wrote it all down.
08:07There's a card.
08:09Oh.
08:10Uh, but you can't read it.
08:12Not while I'm here, anyway.
08:13It's way, way too stressful.
08:15Um, I'm going to go now.
08:27Wow.
08:30Wow.
08:31Wow.
08:34Oh, he's so romantic.
08:37May I?
08:40Oh, it's sort of private.
08:42Well, I did help him pick out the flowers.
08:45Oh.
08:46Um.
08:49Okay.
08:55There's more on the back.
09:04So, how does this work?
09:06Do we flip through a catalog or something?
09:07I wish it was that easy.
09:09You have to understand, for every baby, there are ten couples who want it.
09:13You don't choose your child, the birth mother chooses you.
09:17Really?
09:18So, what do you think our chances are?
09:20We will do anything that we need to do.
09:22Well, your typical birth mother is usually a young girl, and she'll just want to make sure
09:26you're quality people.
09:28Now, to show her that, you'll be putting together a parent portfolio.
09:31What's that?
09:32Family pictures, character references, that kind of stuff.
09:36So, uh, we're auditioning to be parents?
09:39I guess you could say that.
09:41So, just to be clear, some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the
09:46local gas engulf, and she is going to make sure we're quality people?
09:53You don't need to answer that.
10:03No, you don't have to hide it from me.
10:05Huh?
10:07Drinking?
10:08Doesn't bother me.
10:09Well, I wasn't hiding anything.
10:11I was simply enjoying the day.
10:15What do you want?
10:16Well, uh, Mason was my ride to school, and his dad's moving them to Tucson, so...
10:22Oh, well, if you need a ride to school, I'm happy to drive you.
10:25No, that's not what I want.
10:26I want a car.
10:28Well, then I suggest you get a job.
10:30Why should I have to go work my ass off at some fast food place when I can already afford
10:33what I want?
10:36Andrew, we're not touching your trust fund.
10:38It's my money.
10:39Not until you're 21, and if I had my way, you wouldn't get your hands on it until you're
10:4350.
10:43I mean, we both know you're going to waste every penny of it.
10:47Why are you being like this?
10:51Sweetheart, it is my job to teach you about responsibility, setting goals, delayed gratification.
10:59What do you know about delayed gratification?
11:02It's not even noon yet.
11:03You're already on your third glass of wine.
11:05You know, on second thought, I won't be driving you to school.
11:08The walk will do you good.
11:09Mom, I'm not kidding around.
11:11I want my money.
11:12The answer is no.
11:15Well, aren't we a mean old drunk?
11:20Whatever that was supposed to teach me, consider a lesson learned.
11:35What are you doing here?
11:36I'm just enjoying the silky smooth moves of Dr. Ron.
11:39Or should I say, Dr. Love.
11:41Give me that.
11:42This is my favorite.
11:44I can't wait to be in the operating room with you so I can touch your heart.
11:48Because you've already touched mine so deeply.
11:51Okay, that part sounds better when you don't read it out loud.
11:53And what are you doing reading it anyway?
11:55Those are Dr. Ron's private thoughts.
11:57Yeah, I got that.
11:58You know, I sense that he really likes you, Susie.
12:01So?
12:01So, do you really like him?
12:03Of course I do.
12:05He's smart and funny and kind.
12:08Smart, funny, kind.
12:09I don't hear the word love in there.
12:11Well, that's a big word.
12:13We just started dating.
12:15We have a connection and I'm going to follow it through and see where it goes.
12:18Oh, I get it.
12:19You're going to string him along until you feel something you don't and waste the next five years of your
12:24life.
12:25As opposed to the 12 I wasted on you?
12:27Why are we talking about this?
12:29I don't recall asking you your opinion.
12:32Because we're married and I have certain rights.
12:34And one of them is the right to badger you.
12:36Okay, you know, you can leave now.
12:38I wish I could MRI your soul.
12:40Out.
12:43It's not funny.
12:46Hey, watch out for my wife.
12:47She's on a tear.
12:52Oh, here's one we took on vacation.
12:57Gabby, these pictures have to be wholesome.
13:00They got to say, these people do a great job raising a child.
13:05So?
13:06So you're topless.
13:08Yeah, but it's St. Bart's.
13:10And your hands are covering my naughty parts.
13:13Do you mean the hand that's holding the tequila shot or the one that's holding the Cuban cigar?
13:18Yeah, that was a good trip.
13:20Gabby!
13:21Fine, we won't use it.
13:23We can't use any of them.
13:24Every single picture of the two of us, we're either drinking or smoking or naked.
13:28So we like to have fun.
13:30I mean, who doesn't understand that better than an unwed, knocked-up teenager?
13:34This is serious.
13:35If we can't sell ourselves as good people...
13:41Well, then we'll just have to find someone who can do it for us.
13:46So you want me to, uh, pitch you as parents?
13:49You're in advertising, you can do it?
13:52Just write us a character reference saying we're great with kids.
13:56Oh, this is for you.
13:58Oh, well, you don't have to bribe me.
14:00We're all friends here.
14:02Keeping that in mind, would it also be okay if we were your kid's godparents?
14:06Oh, uh, I guess.
14:09Great, and can we take some fake pictures to document it?
14:13I don't suppose you brought a corkscrew.
14:16You have a warrant, and if you're gonna arrest him, then you gotta tell him what he wants.
14:21Hello, Mike.
14:23Alicia, what are you doing here?
14:24Oh, I left in such a rush.
14:26There was a lot of old business I forgot to wrap up.
14:29Well, it must be a pretty important business.
14:31Get you to move back in next door to the man you think murdered your sister.
14:33It's funny you should mention Paul.
14:36You know, the police came and took him away last night.
14:39The police?
14:41From the way they were manhandling him.
14:43I don't think he'll be back anytime soon.
14:46No, I just, I just want to start saying that's all.
14:48I don't know.
14:49I don't know.
14:49I don't know.
14:50I don't know.
14:50I don't know.
14:50I don't know.
14:50I don't know.
14:51I don't know.
14:51I don't know.
14:52I don't know.
14:54What the hell is going on?
14:56It's none of your concern, Mike.
14:58You listen to me.
14:59If anything happens to Paul Young...
15:01It already happened.
15:03Hours ago.
15:07He's dead.
15:08Like I said, it's none of your concern.
15:11Maybe you don't get it, Noah.
15:13You screwed up.
15:14You just killed the most important person in your grandson's life.
15:18Do you think he's going to have anything to do with you once he finds out?
15:21And believe me, I'll make sure he finds out.
15:34So, honey, the meatloaf, it's a, it's a little, a little burnt.
15:38Oh, right.
15:39I was talking to Susan on the phone and I left it in a little longer than I should have.
15:42Sorry.
15:43It's okay.
15:47Is it that bad?
15:49No.
15:49No, not bad at all.
15:51Oh, good.
15:52Parker, don't put your elbows on the table.
15:55Boom.
15:55But you'd agree it wasn't your best effort.
15:58Huh?
15:59The meal, the task you agreed to take on, you'd agree that you didn't give it 100%, right?
16:05Tom, if you're going to make a point, why don't you do it now before I hurl the plate at
16:09you?
16:10Nobody gives 100% of their effort all the time because they can't.
16:12It is impossible.
16:13You do the best you can with the time and energy that you have.
16:16Stop right there.
16:17This is meatloaf.
16:19Your presentation was business.
16:21You're saying the client deserves more effort than your own family?
16:29Okay.
16:32So if I apologize for upsetting you at work, can we get past it and enjoy our meal?
16:39Absolutely.
16:41I'm sorry.
16:43I'm sorry.
16:44I am sorry.
16:45Thanks.
16:50So, boys, how do you enjoy the meatloaf?
16:53It's a little salty.
16:54Yeah.
16:55Just eat it.
17:02There.
17:03Perfect.
17:08All right.
17:15Oh!
17:16Oh!
17:17Oh!
17:18Oh!
17:19Oh!
17:19Oh!
17:19Oh!
17:24All right.
17:25One more time.
17:26What?
17:27Yeah.
17:28Dude, I don't want to mess up your face.
17:30Do you love me?
17:32Then do what I tell you.
17:44Rough day.
17:45Yeah.
17:46I wonder if there's any way that we can turn it around still.
17:54Good question.
17:57What to do.
17:58What to do.
17:59Yeah.
18:08Oh!
18:17Hi!
18:18What's up?
18:19Why do you keep trying to do that?
18:20What?
18:21I'm trying to get on top.
18:22Of you?
18:23No, I'm not.
18:24You were pushing on me like you were trying to sack me.
18:26I felt it.
18:27You serious?
18:29Tom, I wasn't doing anything.
18:30I was just going for it.
18:32I was just lost in the moment.
18:33Oh, come on.
18:35Come on.
18:36This is silly.
18:37I don't want to argue.
18:39I mean, unless it turns you on, does it?
18:42Because then I'm all about it.
18:45I'm going.
18:51What was that?
18:53What?
18:53What was what?
18:54You were bracing.
18:55You were bracing with your leg.
18:57I was trying to lie on top of you, and you were bracing yourself against the mattress so you didn't
19:00have to get on your back.
19:02Try and deny it.
19:03Try and deny it.
19:04You can't.
19:04Okay.
19:05Can I just mention you're talking like a crazy person?
19:07You can't give it up for a second, can you?
19:09You always have to call the shots.
19:11Always.
19:12Is this about me being your boss again?
19:15You got to get over it.
19:19That's exactly my point.
19:21Exactly.
19:22You are not just my boss at the office.
19:24You're my boss everywhere.
19:26Oh, that's ridiculous.
19:28You run the show.
19:29You run the show, and I'm alone for the ride.
19:31I just push the little shopping cart, let the woman do all the driving.
19:35Tom.
19:36I'm the caddy husband.
19:38I carry your clubs.
19:42I am so sorry you feel that way, but you cannot put that on me.
19:47This is your life.
19:49You want to run it?
19:51Then step on up.
19:53You want to drive?
19:54Grab the steering wheel.
19:56I mean, what else am I supposed to say?
20:01I'm gonna check on the kids.
20:13Time to check your blood pressure.
20:15Oh, sure.
20:20Oh, that's a little tight.
20:22Does it have to be that tight?
20:23Yes.
20:32Okay, that's actually starting to be painful.
20:35Really?
20:36That surprises me.
20:37I just assumed you were dead inside.
20:39Ow!
20:40Ow!
20:40What the hell?
20:41What are you doing?
20:41I told myself to stay out of this, but I can't.
20:44I know that you're married.
20:45I am not?
20:47Really?
20:48Hmm.
20:48Because that man that came to see you yesterday, he said you're his wife.
20:51Oh.
20:52Oh.
20:53No.
20:53No, no.
20:54He just said that because we used to be married.
20:56It's just a force of habit.
20:57Oh, that explains everything.
20:58Except that I checked your insurance forms and you're still married.
21:01So that makes you a lying, adulterous skank.
21:04No, no, no.
21:05No, no.
21:06Nurse Heisel.
21:06No, Nurse Heisel.
21:07Ow, ow, ow, ow.
21:08Oh, ow, ow.
21:09Nurse Heisel.
21:10Um.
21:11Nurse.
21:12Oh, ow.
21:13Oh, no.
21:14Oh, come on.
21:16Nurse.
21:17Ow.
21:18Nurse Heisel.
21:19I can explain.
21:20Can you skank?
21:21Yes.
21:23Okay.
21:24I am married.
21:25But it's only because my insurance ran out.
21:28My ex-husband has a really good coverage plan so he said that he would remarry me so I
21:32could get my operation.
21:33Only I didn't want to tell Dr. Ron because I didn't want him to be an accomplice to fraud.
21:39So you're what?
21:41Protecting him?
21:42Yeah.
21:44Yes, I am.
21:47Okay.
21:49As long as you're not two-timing him.
21:51He feels so strongly about you.
21:53I know.
21:53I read the card.
21:55But did you read between the lines?
21:58What do you mean?
21:59Okay.
22:00I shouldn't be telling you this, but when we were picking out the flowers for you, he
22:04said that he was working up the courage to say he loves you.
22:08Really?
22:09Yes.
22:11But you have to act surprised, okay?
22:13Oh, yeah.
22:14I'll be surprised.
22:16So, I guess we have the whole insurance thing worked out.
22:19Oh.
22:20Don't worry about that.
22:21Please.
22:22Who am I to cast stones?
22:24I mean, heck.
22:26I didn't pass my nurse's exam.
22:29They didn't even ask me.
22:41Andrew?
22:41Did I hear the bell?
22:44Oh, hello.
22:45I'm Samuel Bormanis.
22:46I'm here to see Andrew.
22:47Oh, okay.
22:48Are you a friend of Andrew's?
22:50I'm his lawyer.
22:51His lawyer?
22:52Well, why on earth would Andrew need a lawyer?
22:54Here you go, Sam.
22:58Honey, what happened to your face?
23:04You hit me.
23:05Don't you remember?
23:10For the record, I did not punch my son.
23:12I slapped him with an open palm.
23:15Yeah, but Mom, the thing is, when you drink, you don't know your own strength.
23:20This is ridiculous.
23:21Can't you see this as a performance?
23:22Mrs. Vandekamp, I've heard enough.
23:25Clearly, this environment is a highly dysfunctional one.
23:28Andrew has retained my services in order to pursue a healthier living situation.
23:33And what might that be?
23:34I, um, I want to be emancipated.
23:38Emancipated?
23:38As an emancipated minor, Andrew would be able to live on his own.
23:42He'd still go to school, of course, but he'd be released from all adult supervision.
23:47Well, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard of.
23:50How would he support himself?
23:52Well, he'd be in complete control of his own finances.
23:58So that's what this is about, your trust fund.
24:02Obviously, we'd all prefer not to go to family court, but with the violence and your DUI charge, it could
24:11get ugly.
24:13Uh, Mr. Bromanos, I'll need a little time to think about this.
24:17You have 24 hours.
24:28Boy, it really looks like we're having a good time.
24:31I sure hope this works.
24:33As long as they don't make me play guitar, I think we're home free.
24:39Mr. and Mrs. Solis, Rhoda can see you now.
24:45Okay, thank you.
24:53Wow.
24:55It looks like you spend lots of time with these kids.
24:58We take our roles as godparents very seriously, don't we, honey?
25:01Mm-hmm. Yes.
25:03They're precious. What are their names?
25:08Parker and, uh, Porter, uh, and, uh, well, they're all peas. It is super cute.
25:20One sec. Do you need me, Helen?
25:24Hello, Gabrielle.
25:25Carlos.
25:29I didn't know you were adopting.
25:35Preston! The other one's name is Preston.
25:38Helen, you work here?
25:41You all know each other?
25:42What a small world.
25:44It sure is.
25:45Mrs. Solis hired my son to do her yard work.
25:48And also, she would rape him.
25:52Okay, first of all, it was statutory, and it happened so long ago.
25:56Was it?
25:57I think it was only about a year ago.
25:59No, it was a year because it was right before your husband went to prison on slave labor charges.
26:06Rhoda, if you don't mind, I think I'll handle the Solis case myself.
26:10I'd like to make it my top priority.
26:13Okay.
26:14Oh, end up, Gabrielle.
26:15Don't bother trying to contact any other adoption agencies in the area.
26:19I'll make sure they know all about you.
26:30I think I have to break up with Dr. Ron.
26:32What? Why?
26:34Because he's a gem.
26:36And apparently he loves me.
26:38I'm sorry, I'm not following.
26:40Lynette, he is everything I could possibly want in a boyfriend.
26:44And I just don't know if I feel that spark.
26:49You know, and I really want to.
26:51Ah, sweetie.
26:51And he keeps telling me how special I am and how much I mean to him.
26:55How he wants to hold my beating heart in his hand.
26:59Ew.
27:01Maybe it's because I just haven't felt that thunderbolt yet.
27:05You know, with Mike, it hit me. With Carl, it hit me.
27:08I didn't have to worry about how I felt because the thunderbolt told me.
27:12Yeah, yeah. Gotta love the thunderbolt.
27:15Do I?
27:16I mean, I do.
27:17Mm-hmm.
27:17But I don't trust it anymore.
27:19You know, those relationships turned out to be disasters.
27:21Maybe I should stick it out with Dr. Ron,
27:23and I should try heading down a road that's growing and slower
27:27into a sort of kind of love that would sustain itself for 50 years.
27:32Right?
27:33Stability, comfort, endurance. I deserve that.
27:36Oh, yes. Of course you do.
27:42Still, you gotta love the thunderbolt.
27:44That's not helpful. Sorry.
27:48Ah, this is a sign.
27:49Will you shut up?
27:50We lost a baby, found out we can't conceive another one,
27:53and ran into Helen Roland at an adoption agency.
27:57God is obviously trying to tell us something.
27:59Carlos, we're Catholics, okay?
28:01God is pretty Johnny OneNote on the whole subject of procreation.
28:04And will you stop with this defeatist attitude?
28:06Okay, do you want a baby or not?
28:08I think it's time that we face reality.
28:10We're bad people, and we probably don't even deserve to be parents.
28:12Well, then who the hell does?
28:14I don't know.
28:15I mean, look at all the idiots popping out kids, okay?
28:18They're not any more qualified than we are.
28:21I don't know.
28:22Look, Carlos, it doesn't matter what we've done in our past.
28:27Being a parent means rising to the occasion,
28:29and that's exactly what we're gonna do when we bring our baby home.
28:34This is the first time I really felt like you wanted to have a baby.
28:40Well, this is the first time someone told me I couldn't have one.
28:49Okay, so what are we gonna do?
28:51I mean, no adoption agency is gonna touch us now.
28:54There are ways to get babies, Carlos.
28:57It just might cost us.
29:03I have some contacts in the police department.
29:05I've been making calls, but I can't seem to get a straight answer about your dad.
29:09I don't understand. How do they just lose somebody?
29:11They don't. Not by accident.
29:14But I don't think what happened to your dad was an accident.
29:16What was that supposed to mean?
29:19Zach!
29:22Miss Tillman.
29:24Hello, Zachary.
29:25You look terrible.
29:27Oh, Mr. Delfino.
29:30Isn't this just a picture?
29:33Felicia, why are you here?
29:34Young Zachary and I didn't exactly part on the best of terms.
29:39In fact, when the weather's damp, I'm still reminded of our last goodbye.
29:44But forgive and forget, that's my motto.
29:49Macaroon.
29:49I've been waiting for you, Tony.
29:50I'm checking, Tony.
30:02Oh, my God.
30:20Ah!
30:21Ah!
30:27Dick.
30:29You all right?
30:43Now, how did you know I love macaroons?
30:56It won't end here, you know.
30:58Noah Taylor doesn't give up.
30:59Don't worry about us.
31:00We'll be gone by morning.
31:01Oh, it's too late for that now.
31:03I guarantee you he's got people watching you.
31:04What is it with you, anyway?
31:06First you want me to run.
31:07Now you want us to stick around like sitting ducks for this maniac.
31:10Go ahead, Ron.
31:11Noah's got the cops in his pocket.
31:14What do you think's gonna happen the first time you try to buy gas with a credit card?
31:16Or open a new bank account?
31:21So I'm a dead man?
31:24Maybe not.
31:26Not if we use what leverage we have.
31:29No way.
31:30The old man's gonna be dead in a couple of months, maybe less.
31:34Let him beat Zack.
31:35Play the doting grandfather.
31:37I said forget it.
31:38I'll do it.
31:42It means you leave us alone.
31:44Ready to be leveraged.
31:53Nicholson will be coming in in about 15 minutes with a pitch, so let's grab everybody and make sure we're
31:58all on the same page.
32:03Hang on a second.
32:08What's going on?
32:10I need to say this.
32:12Ah, yeah.
32:12Look, I've been giving you a lot of grief lately about being the boss, but it's just hard for a
32:18guy to feel like he's not in charge of any part of his life.
32:22But honey, it goes back and forth.
32:24I know, but it just feels a little one-sided lately, and sometimes I need to drive the train.
32:30But look, I know it is my issue.
32:33It's my issue.
32:35And I will step up and deal with it.
32:44Oh, hello.
32:48What's going on?
32:50Huh?
32:51Picking up where we left off.
32:52Hmm.
32:53Last night.
32:54Oh, I get it.
32:55I get it.
32:56Ooh, this is your idea of driving the train.
33:00Yeah.
33:00And it's very manly and really impressive, but it's really, really bad timing.
33:09You can't be serious.
33:12Mm-mm.
33:14We're gonna be late.
33:15Yeah.
33:16We are going to be late.
33:23Okay.
33:26There is nothing more important than family, and I think it's so unfair some are denied their god-given right
33:31to parent just because of a few sordid incidents in their past.
33:36Now, I may have to explore some unconventional paths to find your child.
33:41I might even have to take actions some might view as unsavory.
33:45But before I do, I need proof that the two of you are prepared to face the challenges ahead.
34:01$20,000.
34:02Is that proof enough for you?
34:07Yes, it is.
34:24Nice to meet you, young man.
34:27I'm not gonna hug you.
34:28I don't care if you are my grandfather.
34:30Ah, that's okay.
34:32Hugging's not really my thing.
34:35Mike, could you wait outside?
34:37I'd like to be alone with Zachary.
34:39Not a chance.
34:41Just curious.
34:42Just curious.
34:44Why was it so important you see me?
34:46You're my grandson.
34:48My flesh and blood.
34:51Isn't it only natural I'd want a relationship with you?
34:54What kind of relationship can we have when I know you tried to kill my dad?
34:59Surely you can understand the rage I must feel towards your father.
35:03Go ahead.
35:04Feel all the rage you want to feel.
35:06But if anything happens to him, I swear to God you are never gonna see me again.
35:10You only met me two minutes ago.
35:13And here you are, already blackmailing me.
35:18I couldn't be prouder.
35:20I'm serious.
35:21I want you to swear you're not gonna do anything to my dad.
35:24Which dad?
35:26You have two of them.
35:34You know who I'm talking about?
35:36My dad.
35:37The man who raised me.
35:38The only man I'm ever gonna care about.
35:42So swear.
35:45I swear.
35:46Well, now that the ground rules have been set, who's up for some meaningless small talk?
36:07Well, if it isn't the plumber.
36:10Here to see Susan?
36:11Yeah, I just wanted to talk to her before operation.
36:14Well, you're cutting it kinda close.
36:15She's just about to be wheeled into surgery.
36:18You know she's dating her surgeon.
36:21Yeah, she told me.
36:24You met him?
36:25Yeah.
36:26He's like six years old.
36:29Those for her?
36:31Yeah, the florist was having a sale on lilacs.
36:35Dr. Ron just bought her the biggest bouquet of roses you've ever seen.
36:39It was disgusting.
36:40The note that went with it made my teeth hurt it was so saccharine.
36:43He used words like soulmate and eternity.
36:47I almost puked in the vase.
36:50What'd Susan think about that?
36:54Well, she seemed to be really into it.
37:02Mike!
37:03Oh wait, stop!
37:04Go back!
37:05Stop!
37:05Stop!
37:06A second!
37:07Hey!
37:08What are you doing here?
37:10I just want to wish you luck before your surgery.
37:14Oh, that's so sweet.
37:17You came all the way down here just for me.
37:20Yep.
37:22That's why I came.
37:23Oh, it means a lot to me that you came.
37:27Well, you take care, Susan.
37:29Okay.
37:32Bye.
37:36You forgot to give her your flowers.
37:40Yeah, it's no big deal.
37:41Okay.
37:48Hi, Susan.
37:49How are those drugs working for you?
37:51Feeling good?
37:52Super duper.
37:53How are you feeling?
37:55Well, um, you know, I want you to know,
37:57what I said the other day,
37:59that corny stuff about me holding your heart in my hands.
38:03Well, what I meant to say was,
38:06my feelings for you, they keep growing.
38:08And, uh, I think,
38:11well, I hope that you feel the same way about me.
38:15Oh, hell, Susan.
38:17I love you.
38:20Oh, thank you.
38:23I love Mike.
38:27Mike.
38:27Mike?
38:29Susan, who's Mike?
38:31Mike is love.
38:36Who the hell is Mike?
38:39I don't know, but she's married to a guy named Carl.
38:42I'm so, so sorry.
38:43I should have told you, Dr. Ron.
38:44Mike.
38:45Mike.
38:46Mike.
38:47Why are you always falling in love with skates?
38:51You're beautiful, beautiful man.
39:01Okay.
39:02You ready to go here?
39:05Yeah, sure.
39:09Let's cut this bitch open.
39:19What are you doing?
39:20Your lawyer left a message on my machine.
39:23Seems we have a hearing in four weeks,
39:25and I want to be ready.
39:28Oh, I get it.
39:29So, uh, so you're going to pretend to be sober for the judge?
39:32Oh, there's no pretending.
39:35I am going to my first AA meeting tomorrow.
39:38Of course, I picked one in the worst part of town,
39:40so I won't run into anybody I know,
39:42which, of course, means I will.
39:45All right, so what is that going to prove?
39:49Perception is reality, Andrew.
39:51And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem,
39:53then I do.
39:54And I certainly don't want some idiotic judge
39:57using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich.
40:00So I'm simply going to give up my wine
40:03and become a recovering alcoholic.
40:08Good plan, but it'll never work.
40:11See, I'll bet you still end up coming to court hammered.
40:15Oh, Andrew, you don't think I love you enough
40:17to give up alcohol?
40:21Look, I'm 17, all right?
40:23So you can only keep me here for another year.
40:26Why not just let me go?
40:28Because I'm not done with you yet.
40:31It's my job to teach you,
40:32and you are not half the man I know you can be.
40:35Yeah, well, I've got news for you.
40:38This is as good as I'm going to get.
40:39If I really thought that,
40:40I'd get a gun right now and kill us both.
40:42Mom, we're both so unhappy.
40:45Why not just let me take my trust fund,
40:47and I'll get out of your hair forever?
40:49Please.
40:55You're a stone cold bitch.
40:57You know that?
41:07I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that.
41:13I hate you.
41:15You know, the opposite of love isn't hate.
41:19It's indifference.
41:20And if you hate me,
41:22that means you still care.
41:25And we're still connected.
41:27And I still have a chance to set you right.
41:37This is how Brie Vandekamp finally came to change her weekly routine.
41:44She still cleaned on Tuesdays.
41:46Paid her bills on Wednesdays.
41:50And did her laundry on Thursdays.
41:54But her Fridays were now reserved for a meeting.
42:00A special meeting where she stood in front of people she didn't know.
42:05My name is Brie.
42:07And I am an alcoholic.
42:09And said things she didn't believe.
42:15And afterwards, Brie would come home and reward herself.
42:21On the completion of another successful week.
42:42We'll see you next time.
42:43Bye.
42:48Bye.
43:09Bye.
43:10Bye.
Comments