- 3 days ago
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00:30Coffee, Laura? Thank you.
00:34Thank you, Julie.
00:36You know, I think it's from young Milbanks.
00:39Lord Milbanks?
00:40I recognise the writing.
00:42I thought you two parted on rather bad terms.
00:44Really?
00:45You know, the death threats.
00:47We all say things in the heat of the moment, Laura.
00:50Julie, can we have the scissors, please?
00:52I imagine this is some sort of apology. His way of saying no hard feelings.
00:56Well, you think it's from Lord Milbanks, Julie, all the way from South America. Isn't that nice?
01:07How much longer are you going to let this go on?
01:10Pardon?
01:11Julie, the staff, carrying on like that.
01:14Like what?
01:15Not speaking to you.
01:17They've sent you to Coventry.
01:19Coventry?
01:20Two weeks ago.
01:22You must have noticed.
01:24I thought things were going rather well, actually, Laura.
01:27Well?
01:28You know, none of the answering back, no silly suggestions.
01:31People seem to be getting on with the job.
01:32Is it something you wanted?
01:38Hmm?
01:39Your present, from South America.
01:42I'm not sure, really. It looks like leaves.
01:45Leaves?
01:46Perhaps it's some sort of herbal drink.
01:48Is there a note or anything with it?
01:50Why would they do that?
01:53What?
01:53The staff. Why would they want to do a thing like that?
01:56Send me to Coventry.
01:57Well, if you really want to know...
02:00I do, Laura. I do.
02:01I think the last straw was probably the staff meeting
02:04when you gave up to our individual fitness and figure targets.
02:07A lot of them were very upset.
02:09Remember? The meeting at the start of the month.
02:12I remember it perfectly, Laura.
02:13I'm just trying to remember if there was anything I might have said
02:16that would have upset anyone.
02:18Well...
02:19Hang on, I'm just running it through my mind.
02:22So, we've agreed that one of our responsibilities
02:24is to show by example
02:26how much more attractive it is
02:29to have a body glowing with health and fitness.
02:32We want people to come in here and say,
02:34Oh, look at the physique on that young person.
02:36I wish I looked like that.
02:38But is that what they say?
02:40Do we have the bodies that other people really want?
02:44Looking round this room,
02:45if we're honest with ourselves,
02:47I'm afraid the answer to that question in many cases
02:50would have to be,
02:51No, we do not. Thank you very much.
02:52Which is why I have prepared...
02:56I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Brittusk.
02:58All right, Colin.
02:58I woke up this morning with this rather painful septic rash.
03:01It just burst out overnight.
03:03Just sit down, will you, Colin?
03:04I think I'm possibly allergic to the elastic in my new pyjamas.
03:07Colin.
03:10Which is why I have prepared
03:12a series of personalised fitness and figure targets.
03:16Laura.
03:16Now, within these files,
03:20you'll find not only some general do's and don'ts,
03:22but also a personalised programme
03:25of diet, exercise, mental discipline
03:28that will take each and every one of you
03:30over the next six months
03:32to your peak of physical wellbeing.
03:34Yours is a two-year outline panel.
03:36Now, it's all very simply laid out.
03:40On page one,
03:42you'll find a photograph of your physical condition
03:44as it is at this very moment.
03:46Is that some?
03:48Indeed, Laura.
03:49I'm using Samantha's file as a working example.
03:52Now,
03:53if we place the plastic overlay
03:55over the photograph like so,
03:58you'll see I've marked the areas
03:59in need of attention.
04:01Yes, that's it's great.
04:02Sections of flabby thigh here,
04:05poor muscle tone in the abdominal area,
04:08and these rather unattractive thick ankles.
04:11And you've got pictures like this of everyone, Mr. Britton.
04:13Indeed, Laura.
04:14Everyone has their own individually tailored target.
04:17Where did you get them from?
04:18You have a problem, Tim?
04:19Yes, I do.
04:19Where did you get a photograph of me in my underwear?
04:22I'd imagine it was while you were getting changed.
04:24What?
04:25Such are the wonders of modern technology, Tim.
04:27It is now possible,
04:28with the aid of the local video shop,
04:30to transfer a still frame from the security cameras.
04:33You've been taking photographs of people getting changed.
04:35You're missing the point, Gavin.
04:37They're just bodies.
04:38We've seen them all before.
04:40Well, not mine, you haven't.
04:42Oh, my God!
04:44Now, before anyone gets too excited,
04:47I'd just like to say nobody is on trial.
04:50This is just a positive programme
04:51to make sure we all get fitter and healthier.
04:54I mean, that's what we all want, isn't it?
04:57No, I can't think of anything.
04:59Well, take my word for it, Mr. Brittus.
05:01Very strong feelings were aroused.
05:03Cos I produced a series of fitness and figure targets.
05:06Yes.
05:06But why?
05:07They were to help people.
05:08I know you meant well, Mr. Brittus.
05:10Laura, have you any idea
05:11how long it took me to prepare those files?
05:13My wife didn't see me for three months.
05:16Fortunately, she was very brave and cheerful about it, actually.
05:20Sorry, I'm late, Mr. Brittus.
05:21Just cleaning up a bit of congestion with some nasal flots.
05:26He's talking to me.
05:27Are you sure you got this right, Laura?
05:28He's management, Mr. Brittus.
05:30So am I.
05:30We're not included.
05:31You knew about this, did you, Colin?
05:33About what, Mr. Brittus?
05:34The staff not talking to me.
05:37I told them you'd notice.
05:39Oh, it's despicable when I think of how hard you work
05:42and everything you've done for us.
05:44It's all right, Colin.
05:44And all they can do is hold their secret meetings
05:46and say those dreadful things about you.
05:49Secret meetings?
05:50Oh, I've been so worried, Mr. Brittus.
05:52I kept on thinking,
05:53if only there was something I could do to help.
05:54Well, there's one thing you can do for a start, Colin.
05:57Yes, Mr. Brittus?
05:57I want names.
05:58Everyone in this building
05:59who's been sending me to Coventry without telling me.
06:01Oh.
06:02I want you to interview every member of staff
06:04and make a list.
06:04A list.
06:05Right, Mr. Brittus.
06:07I'm just so glad it's all out in the open now.
06:10It's been like some strange, evil force
06:13creeping into the life of our once happy centre.
06:15Just do it, will you, Colin?
06:20What exactly have you got in mind, Mr. Brittus?
06:22What?
06:23The people sending you to Coventry.
06:24What are you going to do to them?
06:25Do to them?
06:26These are sick people, Laura.
06:27I'm not going to do anything to them
06:29apart from make an appointment for them all
06:30with a county psychologist.
06:44Dr. Matthew's office.
06:46I'm afraid he's busy at the moment.
06:48Can I take a message?
06:50An appointment.
06:51Well, there is a waiting list, I'm afraid, Mr. Brittus,
06:54of several months.
06:55Brittus?
06:56I can certainly ask him.
06:58Gordon Brittus, manager of the leisure centre.
07:00Yes.
07:01I'll take it.
07:02Mr. Brittus, Alan Matthews here.
07:07What sort of problems?
07:10Well, I could certainly check anxiety levels
07:12if that would help.
07:14Yes, I could be with you in half an hour.
07:17I look forward to seeing you.
07:19Half an hour?
07:19But your appointments.
07:22See if you can juggle them round a bit, could you, Debbie?
07:25This is important.
07:27You've not heard of him?
07:29Brittus?
07:29No.
07:30I remember the day of the opening.
07:32He made the Duchess of Kent pick up a sweet wrapper.
07:35Said it was important people in her position
07:37set an example to the community.
07:38He didn't.
07:39He did.
07:41I'll get a book out of this one, Debbie.
07:43Another television series.
07:49Can I have a word, Carol?
07:50Oh, Colin, sorry.
07:51I'm just having a bit of a clear out.
07:53Mr. Brittus wants to know if you're one of the people
07:55who's sending him to Coventry.
07:56Well.
07:56Yes?
07:58And no.
07:59You see, I want to show solidarity with the staff.
08:02But when Mr. Brittus says,
08:03Carol, the way he does,
08:05I have to say,
08:05yes, Mr. Brittus, how can I help you?
08:08So you do talk to him?
08:09Well.
08:11I'll put you down as I don't know.
08:13Thank you, Colin.
08:15Morning, Carol.
08:16You've got the keys to the exercise room.
08:18Oh, yes, Mrs. Brittus.
08:19I'll just have a look.
08:19I'm sorry.
08:20I'm having a bit of a toy cupboard clear out.
08:22Oh, I see.
08:23Well, it's for the charity shop.
08:25We have to do our little bit for children
08:26less fortunate than ourselves.
08:28Less fortunate than children living in drawers
08:30behind a desk?
08:32Exactly.
08:33We have to count our blessings, don't we?
08:35Oh, I suppose we do.
08:37It's extraordinary,
08:38the things they make for children these days, isn't it?
08:41I mean, look at this.
08:42Ooh.
08:43Which one's that?
08:45Mary, what's it then?
08:46Boy, boy.
08:48Oh, I'm still turned on.
08:51Here we are.
08:52I'm afraid Ben's rather dribbled over those.
08:54Oh, that's fine, Carol.
08:56I just want to get everything set up
08:57for the antenatal class.
08:58You won't leave it like that, will you?
09:00Like what?
09:01Well, you don't want to waste the batteries.
09:03Batteries?
09:06Oh, bungee bear.
09:09But we don't want to part with him yet, do we, Ben?
09:11Shall we pass him on to the twins?
09:14Emily!
09:16Your turn next.
09:18Leaves?
09:20Yeah.
09:21But why would anyone send a box of leaves to Britus?
09:24Perhaps they're poisonous.
09:25I mean, if it was Lord Milbank's, he'd have plenty of reasons.
09:27Well, a million and a half reasons, to be precise.
09:29What?
09:29That's how much the Rembrandt was worth.
09:31Did Britus destroy a Rembrandt?
09:33Well, sort of.
09:34It was the day of the staff visit to Milbank's hall.
09:36Lord Milbank's threw it at Britus's head.
09:38But it missed, landed in the fireplace and went up in smoke.
09:41So he really doesn't like him.
09:42Oh, that man gave up his states his family have held for 800 years and emigrated rather
09:45than live in the same country as Britus.
09:47No, if he sent leaves, there must be a reason.
09:50Ah, Julie.
09:51Mr. Britus wants a list of all the people who've been sending him to Coventry.
09:55Well, I wouldn't have...
09:55Yeah, you can put me down.
09:56Right.
09:57I mean, tell him it was my idea as well, if you like.
09:59I'll just put a tick for now.
10:01Now, I've done you two, haven't I?
10:03Colin, you know about plants and things.
10:06Why would anyone send a box of leaves to Britus?
10:09Oh, fascinating.
10:10Boreans tenoris, Gavin.
10:14A tropical hardwood whose bark is used by the natives for making sandals
10:19and whose roots are said to be mildly aphrodisiac.
10:23What do the leaves do?
10:25Nothing.
10:26Not highly poisonous?
10:28Used in black magic or anything?
10:29No, no, they're just leaves, really.
10:31Though I have heard that some of the tribes use them as a sort of packaging.
10:35When they want to send something delicate and fragile,
10:37they want to arrive in peak condition.
10:39But Britus said there was nothing in there.
10:40Except half a spider.
10:44And why send Britus half a spider?
10:54Excuse me.
10:55Oh, welcome to Whitby Newtown Leisure Centre.
10:59How may I help you?
11:00My name's Matthews.
11:01I have an appointment with Mr. Britus.
11:02Oh, right.
11:03I'll just see if I can get something.
11:04Oh, Julie, could you take this gentleman up to Mr. Britus' office, please?
11:07Oh, yeah, come on.
11:11I mean, you could understand it.
11:13If it was a live one...
11:14And highly poisonous.
11:15If it was me, I'd have sent two to be on the safe side.
11:17Do you want?
11:18Spiders.
11:18Oh!
11:19Where are you?
11:20We're just talking about them.
11:21Oh, sorry.
11:22It's just the fact...
11:22I have this thing about spiders.
11:24Even the mere mention of them makes my scalp crawl.
11:26Oh, don't worry.
11:27We won't mention them again.
11:28Oh, thank you.
11:29Right, now.
11:31Ben.
11:35So, you reckon this thing will do the trick then, Alan?
11:37It should give us a few clues.
11:38I sincerely hope so.
11:40This centre means a lot to me, you know.
11:42It's not just a place of work.
11:44No?
11:44That's what people don't realise.
11:46It's so much more.
11:47And to see my staff frittering away their energies on petty disputes is such a waste.
11:51Sorry to interrupt, Gordon.
11:52Come in, my darling.
11:54Come in.
11:54I just wondered if you knew where Mrs. Lucas was.
11:56Alan, I'd like you to meet my lovely wife.
11:58Hello.
11:58Hello.
11:59Only she's not there.
12:00I tell you what, Al.
12:01We could try it out on her.
12:02What?
12:03This machine he's got, my darling.
12:04It tests anxiety levels.
12:06I've got my antenatal class, Gordon.
12:08Even better.
12:09We could do a sort of before and after, measuring how tense you feel now and how you feel when
12:13you come out of the session.
12:14What about it, Al?
12:15Yes, it should be possible.
12:16Come on, my darling.
12:17Sit down.
12:18Here we go.
12:19It won't take too long, will it?
12:21I shouldn't think so, no.
12:24These are just sensors.
12:26They measure the electrical resistance of the skin.
12:29And when he turns it on, you get a buzzing noise.
12:32Now, the lower the noise, the more relaxed you are.
12:35And the higher the noise...
12:36Goodness me.
12:39That's quite high, isn't it?
12:41Yes, it is.
12:43I'll be quite honest with you.
12:44The only time I've seen a level like this was on a trip to America.
12:47We tested a man on death row.
12:50Are you under some particular strain at the moment, Mrs. Brittus?
12:53Well, not really.
12:55If anything, today's been a rather better day.
12:57I see.
12:59Now, if we try one or two basic relaxation techniques, that noise should come down a bit, right?
13:03That's the theory, yes.
13:05All right, my darling.
13:06Sit back and close your eyes.
13:07Now, I want you to imagine you're on a tropical island, and you and I are skipping along the beach.
13:15Suddenly, I take your hand.
13:17There, it's stopped.
13:22No, it's gone into ultrasound.
13:25It's towards a bit of a paper jam as well.
13:27Oh, it's all right.
13:36It's Julie.
13:37That's a relief.
13:38He's brought in a psychologist.
13:40A what?
13:40Brittus.
13:41He's got the county psychologist in his office.
13:43Oh, that's a step in the right direction, isn't it?
13:45Professional help.
13:45I've always thought it was what he needed.
13:46I agree.
13:47It's sad, but I think it's for the best.
13:49It's not for the best, Gavin.
13:50It's for you.
13:51Me?
13:52I thought I was who sent him to Coventry.
13:54They've got to go and see him in the staff room.
13:56Why?
13:56What's he going to do?
13:57Oh, Lord, he's not going to clip high-voltage cables to our ears and then turn up the current, is he?
14:01I would have thought so.
14:02Good, because it doesn't work.
14:04Look, we can't let Bridges go on like this.
14:06We've got to make some sort of stand.
14:08But we've already sent him to Coventry.
14:10We need something much more drastic.
14:12Like what?
14:13Like, like, like total no cooperation.
14:16Anything he wants done, just don't do it.
14:18Well, you don't anyway, do you?
14:20I'm talking about combined action, Tim.
14:23Everyone working together.
14:24You don't think that's going a bit far?
14:25I mean, he's only trying to help.
14:26We know he's only trying to help, Gavin.
14:28Nice Mr Major is only trying to help.
14:31It doesn't work that way, does it?
14:32No, not always, but...
14:34One time, Gavin.
14:35You tell me one time when Bridges has helped someone and his helping has actually helped.
14:39What?
14:41That's what we should do.
14:43Right.
14:44Tell everyone there's a full staff meeting after work this evening, all right?
14:47I'm going to go and follow Brazil.
14:49Where?
14:49Lord Melbanks.
14:50Somebody needs to time their box of leaves.
14:52Didn't work.
14:53And nobody died.
15:00Laura!
15:01Have you seen Mr Britass?
15:03Oh, not for an hour or so.
15:04Can't you tell by the smile?
15:06What do you think you ought to know about the spider?
15:08The what?
15:09There was a half-eaten spider in this box from South America, and Linda knows why.
15:13A spider?
15:13You see, my brother collects them, and it happened to him once.
15:16What did?
15:17Somebody sent in two spiders in the same box.
15:19But when they arrived, one of them had half-eaten the other.
15:23Yes.
15:24I'm obviously missing something here.
15:26It means, Laura, there was another spider in this box,
15:29and at this moment it is roaming the centre, its fangs filled with venom.
15:34Venom?
15:34Who says it's poisonous?
15:36It has to be, doesn't it?
15:36Why else would they send it?
15:37It's another assassination attempt, Laura.
15:40We have to warn Mr Britass.
15:42Hang on, Colin, let's not rush into this.
15:44Now, has anyone found out if this one was dangerous or not?
15:47I could do that.
15:48I could phone my brother at the university.
15:50Good idea.
15:50Shouldn't we evacuate the centre?
15:52Let's wait till we hear from Linda, shall we?
15:54Right.
15:55It's just, I get this creepy feeling it's round here somewhere.
15:59Well, we'll keep our eyes peeled.
16:00So, how do you feel about working in a leisure centre?
16:10Oh, it's fine.
16:11The work doesn't worry you at all?
16:13Oh, no, I enjoy it.
16:14Good.
16:16And you get on well with other members of staff?
16:19No problems there?
16:19Oh, no, they're a great crowd.
16:21Right.
16:23Well, you seem to have a very relaxed and healthy attitude to things.
16:27Oh, there you are.
16:29Sorry to interrupt.
16:30I'll need a quick word with young Tim.
16:32Slight panic over the antenatal class, Tim, I'm afraid.
16:36I've had to ask Penny to lend a hand, which means you've just volunteered to do her pool duty.
16:39Now, I realise it is your half day, but it's one of those times where it has to be all hands on the deck.
16:46Comprende?
16:48Are we perhaps at Loverdue for a fresh T-shirt?
16:51Before we go on duty, I think, point taken.
16:54Good.
16:58Gordon, what have you done?
17:00Sorry, my darling?
17:01Mrs Lucas, the antenatal class, she's not there.
17:03Someone said she's gone home.
17:05I'm afraid Mrs Lucas will not be taking our antenatal classes in future, Helen.
17:08Why not?
17:10I've had to dismiss her.
17:12Dismiss her?
17:13You've dismissed the most popular antenatal teacher in the whole of the South of England.
17:18Popular she may have been, my darling, but she was also a sexist.
17:21What?
17:23How anyone in this day and age can believe that men should be excluded from the experience of pregnancy.
17:29Is this because she wouldn't let you come into the class?
17:32This is the 90s, Helen.
17:34Childbirth is not just a female experience.
17:36It's something we share.
17:38Oh, darling.
17:40I'll tell you something, my darling.
17:41When you're having our twins, I'm not going to be outside in the corridor.
17:44I'm going to be right in there with you.
17:47You're not, are you?
17:49Yes, I wouldn't miss a moment of it.
17:51So who's taking the class this afternoon?
17:53I am, my darling.
17:58Come on, let's not upset anyone by keeping them waiting.
18:02What's this all about?
18:04Oh, I've just been asked to check anxiety levels among the staff, find out how they feel about their work.
18:10And that's it?
18:11That's all Mr. Brittis said.
18:15Get on well with him, do you?
18:18Who?
18:19Mr. Brittis.
18:21Oh.
18:22You enjoy working for him, do you?
18:24It's all right.
18:26Sure about that?
18:28Well, you know.
18:29Can you remember any particular time when he's upset you?
18:36What?
18:40And while we're thinking these gentle positive thoughts, let's remember Dad.
18:45Because he sometimes gets left out, doesn't he?
18:48Let's remember Jim, eh, Brenda?
18:50And hope his worries over redundancy and the fall-off in the motor trade prove unfounded.
18:55Let's remember Bob, shall we allow?
18:59And we all hope you hear some news of him before too long.
19:04And let's all try and forget that these are worrying times to be bringing a child into the world.
19:09We want to be positive and not think of all the many things that can go wrong with the actual birth itself.
19:16Although we will be discussing one or two of those in next week's class.
19:22Oh, God.
19:25I thought we were right.
19:28What?
19:28About the spider.
19:29My brother recognised it straight away.
19:30And it's not good.
19:31It's a South American tarantula.
19:33Probably one of the most poisonous creatures in the world.
19:35And it gets worse.
19:37Well, I'm afraid so.
19:38You see, he's quite sure the only reason there was a half-eaten spider in the box
19:42is that someone sent a mating pair and the female has eaten the male.
19:46How revolting.
19:47No, no.
19:48That's not the bad bit.
19:49Because they mated, the female tarantula will be looking for someone to have its babies.
19:53They have 300 at a time.
19:54Do you think we should alert the public?
19:56There's not a lot of public to alert, Linda.
19:58Apart from the antenatal class, there's only the two old pensioners in the pool.
20:01But we have to warn them.
20:02I'll tell the staff.
20:03All right, all right.
20:03I'd better tell Mr. Brittus.
20:04And I'll check the pool.
20:06I could be where the spider is, you know.
20:08Apparently, they like somewhere warm and damp.
20:10Excuse me, I was looking for Mr. Brittus.
20:17I'll take you.
20:17Oh, thank you.
20:18You're the psychologist, aren't you?
20:19That's right.
20:20You could be just the person we need.
20:23So on point of release, what you have is the baby going out like that.
20:28You see?
20:28The rooms are used for other activities during the day sometimes.
20:35For example, this morning, there's an antenatal relaxation class in here.
20:39Very gently goes through there like that.
20:42You see?
20:43Like that.
20:44Yes.
20:44And then, excuse me, it does.
20:47It does.
20:48Believe me, it does.
20:49This is an antenatal relaxation class?
20:53Yes.
20:55This is awful, right?
20:57Quite a lot, please, yes.
20:59Look, if you don't mind, I'd better...
21:02Yes, of course.
21:07So, you've checked everyone on the list, have you, Marilyn?
21:09Yes, I have.
21:11And I think I've found the answer.
21:13Well, that's a relief.
21:14Come on, let's hear it.
21:15I'm afraid the main single cause of stress in this building is yourself.
21:19I know you don't mean to, but unfortunately, you seem to have this uncanny knack of rubbing
21:25people up the wrong way.
21:27I hear what you're saying, Alan, but I think you must be missing something somewhere.
21:33Yes, I thought that might be your reaction, which is why I've set up a small experiment.
21:38Experiment?
21:39Next door.
21:41It's all ready and waiting.
21:43Right.
21:43Right.
21:49Everything all right, Julie?
21:50Oh, yes, thank you.
21:51Good.
21:53Now, all I want you to do is to talk to Julie without raising her stress level.
21:57Talk?
21:57What about?
21:58Anything you like.
21:59Just try and keep off anything which might upset her or make her feel angry.
22:03That's all?
22:04That's all.
22:06Sounds easy enough.
22:11Hang on, I haven't said anything yet.
22:13Oh, I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it.
22:15Don't worry.
22:16Relax.
22:16Okay, Miss Brutus, try again.
22:24That's not fair.
22:25She didn't give me a chance.
22:29Let's go and talk about it in your office.
22:39I don't understand.
22:41I mean, I love my stuff.
22:43Why would I want to upset them?
22:44I know.
22:45I mean, this place is everything to me.
22:48It's what I've always wanted.
22:50It's my dream.
22:51Yes, I think that might be the trouble.
22:53What, my dream?
22:54How?
22:55Well, in my experience, dreams can be very dangerous.
22:58I sometimes think we'd be better off without them.
23:00But you've got to have a dream.
23:03Everyone does, don't you?
23:04Not like yours, no.
23:06I mean, I have a dream of sorts about moving to the country and keeping horses.
23:11It doesn't involve anyone else.
23:14But I'm not talking about keeping horses.
23:16I'm talking about changing people's lives.
23:19Changing the way people think.
23:20Changing the whole direction of civilisation.
23:23I know.
23:24Well, isn't that worthwhile?
23:26All I'm saying is it makes life very difficult for the people around you.
23:29So you think I should abandon my dream?
23:33Yes.
23:34Yes, I think that'd be the answer.
23:36Just give it up?
23:37Yes.
23:38You see, if you forgot about world peace and fostering the brotherhood of man and just run
23:44a sports centre, I think everything would be fine.
23:50But what if I'm right?
23:52What if my dream is a good dream that really will help people?
23:55It's always possible I don't have all the answers, Mr. Brittus.
23:58But I do, you see.
23:59That's why I'm the manager.
24:01You'd better come quickly, Mr. Brittus.
24:03What is it?
24:04It's Colin.
24:04He's been bitten by a spider.
24:07Excuse us, Al.
24:10Hello, Mr. Brittus.
24:11Colin, you all right?
24:13Not too bad, thank you, Mr. Brittus.
24:15But Gavin said you'd have been bitten by a spider.
24:16Wasn't it poisonous?
24:17Oh, extremely poisonous, Mr. Brittus.
24:20According to Linda's brother, I have about three and a half minutes left to live.
24:24Three and a half minutes?
24:25Actually, it's three now, Mr. Brittus.
24:27Are you sure he looks perfectly all right to me?
24:29It takes a while for the symptoms to take a fix.
24:31What symptoms?
24:32Well, death, mostly.
24:35Could I just say, in the few moments remaining to me,
24:38how very much I've enjoyed working with you all here.
24:40Oh, Colleen.
24:41You see, I never really had what you'd call a family or friends.
24:44Not in a moment, please, Colin.
24:45Look, has anyone called an ambulance?
24:46I'll be here any minute, Mr. Brittus, but even if they are...
24:48Yes?
24:49Well, Laura told them what spider it was,
24:50but apparently the nearest antidote is at the Tropical Disease Centre in Birmingham.
24:54You mean there's nothing we can do?
24:55Well, we don't...
24:57Not unless someone sucks out the poison, Mr. Brittus.
25:02That would help, but why hasn't anyone done it?
25:04Well, it's not quite as simple as that, Mr. Brittus.
25:06You see, the spider was looking for somewhere warm and damp to lay its eggs, and...
25:09And it found Colin's trousers.
25:22Now, you take care of yourself, all right, Colleen?
25:24And one of us will begin to see you this evening.
25:27There you go.
25:28Laura, you'd better make out a rota, or we'll get no visitors at all.
25:33All right, Mr. Brittus.
25:34It's going to be all right, is he?
25:35I think so, Linda, yes.
25:37But our big problem is who's going to take over his pool duty this evening.
25:41Oh, I could do that, Mr. Brittus.
25:42I thought it was supposed to be your half-day, Tim.
25:44Oh, that's all right. Anything to help?
25:46Well, thank you.
25:47Why don't I make out that visiting rota for you, Mr. Brittus?
25:50That'll be very kind, Julie.
25:52And I'll do it in triplicate.
25:54I know you'll like it that way.
25:55Well, thank you.
25:56Your jacket, Mr. Brittus.
25:58I gave it a bit of a brush down.
26:00And if there's nothing else, I think we'd better all get back to work, haven't we?
26:04Get back to work!
26:16The hospital's run.
26:17He's all right?
26:18Sort of.
26:19They say he's got very high toxicity levels,
26:21but apparently that's nothing to do with the spider.
26:24Good.
26:26Dr. Matthews has gone, has he?
26:27Yes.
26:28Did he say anything?
26:29Make any suggestions?
26:31Nothing very practical, I'm afraid, Laura.
26:34Well, I'd better get on home, then.
26:36Tell me something, Laura.
26:38Hmm?
26:38I have got this right, I have got this right, have I?
26:40I spend every evening for three months devising a self-improvement plan for my staff, and they respond by sending me to Coventry.
26:48Well, they were very upset, Mr. Brittus.
26:50I then spend 30 seconds on the floor of the restroom, sucking out a bit of poison, something anyone would have done in the circumstances, and suddenly I'm Mr. Wonderful.
27:00Yeah?
27:01I mean, can you work out the logic of that?
27:04Um...
27:04Honestly, Laura, I sometimes wonder if I really understand people at all.
27:08I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:38I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:39I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:40I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:41I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:42I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:43I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:44I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:45I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:46I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:47I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:48I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:49I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:50I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:51I don't know if I really understand people at all.
27:52I don't know if I really understand people at all.
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