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مسلسل Platonic مترجم - Episode 1
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00:11Okay, here we go.
00:14Okay, good.
00:15Family movie night, guys.
00:17Yeah.
00:17What are we going to watch?
00:18We're all going to agree on something.
00:19I want to watch the Emoji Movie.
00:21Oh, come on.
00:22You've seen it like 8,000 times.
00:24Yeah, sweetie, I really don't think I can watch the Emoji Movie again.
00:27But that's what I want to watch.
00:28What about Inside Out?
00:29It's so cute.
00:30It's not for me.
00:31I think you'll like it.
00:32You just want to watch it again.
00:33You'll always cheer up.
00:35Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie.
00:36How about John Wick?
00:37What?
00:38We're not watching John Wick, Simon.
00:40No, we're not watching John Wick.
00:40What?
00:41No.
00:41No.
00:42Well, maybe there's something new that came out.
00:43Let me check.
00:44Good idea.
00:45Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie.
00:48Oh, whoa.
00:50What?
00:51What?
00:51Will's getting a divorce.
00:53Who's Will?
00:53Will's getting a divorce?
00:54Yeah, Audrey just posted it on her Insta.
00:57Who's Will?
00:57Well, you didn't know that?
00:58No, I haven't spoken to him for so long.
01:00Who's Will?
01:02He's a old friend of mine, honey.
01:03There was a time when Will was Mommy's best friend.
01:06Like an ex?
01:07No, just a friend.
01:09With benefits?
01:10No.
01:11Ew.
01:11What?
01:12No benefits.
01:13In fact, Will was your mom's maid of honor at our wedding.
01:16What are we watching for family movie night?
01:19Emoji Movie.
01:20Emoji Movie.
01:21I can't watch the Emoji Movie again.
01:22I just can't.
01:23Oh, babe.
01:23Why do you care?
01:24Why do you care?
01:25It's a movie about fonts.
01:26How about Halloween?
01:26It doesn't matter.
01:27Talking fonts.
01:27It doesn't matter.
01:28We can't wait.
01:29Oh, that's so funny.
01:31We are so little time together.
01:32What about Dahmer?
01:34Dahmer?
01:34Why not?
01:35We should watch Dahmer.
01:36Dahmer.
01:36Okay.
01:37Yeah.
01:38I know what we're going to do.
01:43Poop emoji.
01:48You should call Will.
01:49I'm the last person he'd want to hear from.
01:51You're overthinking it.
01:52He probably really wants to hear from you.
01:54I don't know.
01:55We literally haven't spoken to each other in years.
01:57We parted on the worst terms.
01:59His wife hated me.
02:00You hated her.
02:01Well, it wasn't that simple.
02:03I told him I thought Audrey was terrible for him,
02:05and then he married her.
02:06Well, it looks like he came around.
02:09Well, it definitely wasn't worth losing a friend over.
02:11Yeah, so call him.
02:13It'll just be weird.
02:14Why?
02:15I don't know.
02:16Men and women don't really hang out with each other at our age.
02:19That's not true.
02:20Come on.
02:21All our friends are couple friends,
02:22and you talk to the men, and I talk to the women.
02:25Yeah, I guess that is true.
02:26When did it become so hard for men and women to socialize?
02:29After we got married?
02:30After we had kids?
02:31Well, you and Will predate all that.
02:33I guess.
02:34Poor Will.
02:34He's probably pretty lonely.
02:37Call him.
02:38That's what friends do.
02:54I lost some friends along the way, laughing at the wrong times, saying things too straight.
03:03I don't want to die.
03:05Just trying to be myself.
03:08When everyone's the same, it's time to separate yourself.
03:13I thought that I was off.
03:15I was just mistaken.
03:17Turns out I wasn't crazy at all.
03:20I just had some walls up that needed breaking.
03:30When I'm close to you, I'm next to normal.
03:34I feel immortal.
03:35I'm not without the paranoia.
03:39When I'm close to you, I'm next to normal.
03:43I feel immortal.
03:44I'm not without the paranoia.
03:47I'm not without the paranoia.
03:52Hey!
03:53Oh my god!
03:55How are you?
03:56Really?
03:57How are you?
03:58Do you look well?
03:59I am.
04:00Feeling good?
04:01Good t-shirts.
04:02Good.
04:02It's nice.
04:03Yeah, thank you.
04:05You look like a 90s grunge clown.
04:09Oh, gosh, how is the beer business?
04:13Very good, yeah.
04:15I'm actually the brewmaster at my own bar now.
04:18What?
04:18Congratulations.
04:21Yeah.
04:21Very cool.
04:22Actually, we're having a party at the bar this weekend.
04:25Okay.
04:25Yeah.
04:26If you're around this weekend, stop by the bar.
04:29Oh, I'd love to.
04:30Yeah, I'll send you the details.
04:34Are you still lawyering?
04:36Charlie just made partner, and I help him out.
04:39Oh, wow.
04:40So you work at the firm with Charlie still?
04:43We've been doing a lot of work.
04:44It's been great.
04:46You and Charlie are currently employed at the same law firm?
04:50I'm not on salary, but that's society for you.
04:56I do not work currently.
04:58I see.
04:59You are unemployed currently.
05:02You still got that family of yours?
05:04Yeah.
05:04You want to see a photo?
05:05Yeah?
05:06Yeah.
05:10Well, there they are.
05:12Cool.
05:13Wow.
05:15Cool.
05:18Look healthy.
05:20Well, look, I just wanted to apologize for how I handle things with your wife.
05:27I felt, um, especially saying that you shouldn't marry her.
05:34I regret that.
05:37Well.
05:40What?
05:41Nothing.
05:42What's, uh, you...
05:43Nothing?
05:44No.
05:44I'm just telling you.
05:45Yeah, great.
05:46Yeah.
05:48Um...
05:48All right.
05:49I appreciate that.
05:50Yeah.
05:51Well, she's my ex-wife now, so...
05:55Oh, no!
05:56When did that happen?
05:58Just a few months ago, yeah.
05:59Yeah.
06:00Oh, no!
06:01Yep.
06:02How did that happen?
06:03What happened between you guys?
06:05Nothing.
06:06It was mutual.
06:07Uh, it was, uh, very amicable and mutual.
06:09Okay.
06:10We're still friends.
06:11We hang out.
06:12Wow.
06:12That's very evolved.
06:13Yes, very amicable.
06:15Um, and, uh, yeah, you know, conscious on cut point.
06:17All that.
06:18All that shit.
06:21Well, divorce is hard.
06:23Let's not.
06:28Well, this has been a blast.
06:29Wasn't it so nice to see you?
06:31Yeah.
06:31This has been a blast.
06:32This has been so fun.
06:34Um, all right.
06:37Um, yeah.
06:38If you're around this weekend, come to the party.
06:40For sure, yeah.
06:40Definitely.
06:42I've got a babysitter.
06:43Great.
06:43Okay.
06:49Mm.
07:03So I'm just trying to wrap my head around this thing.
07:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:07She's gone for five years.
07:09And now she's coming to our party?
07:10Yes.
07:11It's a little fucked up.
07:12Why is that fucked up?
07:14You know, she never liked Audrey.
07:15Now Audrey's out of the picture.
07:16She's back.
07:17Feels a little fucked up to me.
07:18I actually don't think her hating Audrey has anything to do with her return.
07:21She actually didn't even know that we were divorced when she asked me out to coffee.
07:25Wait, go back.
07:26Who's the chick that hates my sister so much?
07:27She's a friend of mine.
07:28And also Audrey, my ex-wife.
07:31Not your sister.
07:32She's your stepsister.
07:33And as far as I know, your parents got married when you were like almost out of high school.
07:36So it's very weird how close you are.
07:37Also, you don't have to be here.
07:39We run the bar.
07:40You're an investor.
07:41You can stay home and defraud Seth Green out of NFTs.
07:43Okay?
07:44Look, I get what's happening here.
07:45What?
07:46Can't be friends with a girl.
07:47That is absolutely not true.
07:48The whole movie When Harry Met Sally is dedicated to proving the fact that you can be friends
07:52with a woman.
07:52No, Will.
07:52That's a bad example.
07:53Harry marries Sally.
07:54They fuck.
07:55They're not friends.
07:55Fact.
07:56That movie should be called When Harry Fucks Sally.
07:58You can only be friends with a woman if she's not hot.
08:00Double fact.
08:01That is not true.
08:02No, no, no, no.
08:03Fellas, I agree with Will.
08:04Because I'm best friends with my aunt and she's a perfect 10.
08:07Nice.
08:08There you go.
08:09I have met your aunt.
08:10And she is hot.
08:11Fact.
08:14That's yucky.
08:15That's weird.
08:15Anyways.
08:16So do you really think she's gonna come or what?
08:18No.
08:18I do not think she'll come.
08:19She lives in Culver City.
08:20She has three or nine children.
08:22I can't remember, honestly.
08:24But it'll be logistically too hard for her to pull off.
08:26I just invite her to be polite.
08:27Couldn't tell with that body.
08:28Good for her.
08:28Whoa, whoa.
08:29I don't think you can tell how many kids someone has just from the way their body looks.
08:33I mean, consider for a moment the termite queen.
08:35You wouldn't know by looking at it that it has thousands and thousands of offspring.
08:40I think we're gonna move you to the back of the house some more.
08:50Bye.
08:51Bye.
08:52Mommy don't come with me.
08:53What?
08:54I'm not a baby anymore.
08:55I'm in kindergarten.
08:56You don't have to come with me.
08:58Oh, I know.
08:59But I'd love to walk you to your classroom.
09:00Stay.
09:05Hey.
09:07Oh, I forgot my water bottle.
09:11Yes.
09:13Like it's any worse for him than it's just box.
09:15Did you see what just happened?
09:16Maeve didn't want me to walk her to her classroom anymore.
09:19You had a good run.
09:20It's just so abrupt.
09:22I've been a full-time mom for the past 13 years and now no one even wants to be seen
09:25with
09:25me on the schoolyard.
09:27I do.
09:29I thought I'd feel relieved when Maeve finally went to kindergarten, you know?
09:32Have some time to myself.
09:34Have a shower.
09:35Make a salad.
09:35You were never gonna make a salad.
09:37Now I feel like everybody's just looking at me going, what are you gonna do with the
09:40rest of your life?
09:41No, no.
09:42No one is looking at us.
09:44We're invisible.
09:45We're middle-aged women.
09:46Watch.
09:47Oh, hey.
09:48Morning, guys.
09:49How is this?
09:51No.
09:51This is a midlife crisis.
09:52This is how a woman experiences a midlife crisis.
09:55You know what I'm thinking you should do with your life?
09:57Please don't say it.
09:58Etsy.
09:58You know, I was a lawyer.
10:00I have a law degree.
10:00Always forget that.
10:01Remember how I told you I was catching up with that old friend of mine?
10:04He asked me what I did and I showed him a picture of my kids.
10:08Oof, girdle.
10:09Right?
10:09He couldn't get away from me fast enough.
10:11And I don't blame him, honestly.
10:13He's like this hipster brew pub kind of fashion guy and I'm like a...
10:18He's hosting a party at his bar in the arts district.
10:21We should go.
10:22What?
10:23No, no.
10:23No, it's not for people like us.
10:25Maybe I'll meet somebody.
10:26I have been so long.
10:28I saw.
10:29That's where you're gonna meet someone.
10:30Who are you gonna meet at a downtown brew pub?
10:32Shia LaBeouf.
10:32Oh, again.
10:34Still?
10:34Still with the Shia LaBeouf?
10:35Oh, I'm sorry.
10:37I just happen to like them.
10:38Small and angry and crazy.
10:40And you know he's good at fucking.
10:42No, you know that he is.
10:44Come on.
10:45Let's go to the party.
10:46Who cares?
10:46This could be the last party before we die.
10:49Can't argue with that.
10:50No.
10:51Bye.
10:52Oh, my God.
10:52Bye, guys.
10:53See you at pick up.
10:57Pickpocket them.
10:58Yes.
10:59Happily.
10:59I'm here.
10:59I'm here.
11:00I'm here.
11:01You don't see this?
11:02I'm here.
11:03You don't see this?
11:04You don't see this?
11:05You don't see this?
11:09Do I look okay?
11:10I feel like I dress like a literal cougar.
11:12Like a leopard, though.
11:14I mean, do I look divorced and done?
11:15No, you look great.
11:16Oh, holy shit.
11:18Everyone here expresses his age.
11:20Oh, my God.
11:21Is that guy wearing a t-shirt and no pants?
11:23Is that cool now?
11:24Don't ask me.
11:25I know nothing is you.
11:26Well, I'll tell you this.
11:27We may not be young, but we have life experience that none of these bitches have.
11:34Oh, yeah.
11:35Like how to swaddle a newborn.
11:37Right?
11:37Right?
11:38Yeah.
11:38I'll tell you this much.
11:39We got better credit than anybody.
11:41Oh, better credit.
11:43Better credit.
11:44Better credit.
11:45Better credit.
11:46Better credit.
11:47Better credit.
11:49Better credit.
11:50Better credit.
11:51Sorry for existing.
11:53I guess this feels like it's going to be awkward.
11:55I don't know.
11:56We could just go.
11:57Why don't we go and somewhere else get a glass of wine?
12:00Sure.
12:00Hey.
12:01Hi.
12:01Hi.
12:02Oh, my God.
12:02Hi.
12:04I don't want to be here.
12:05I don't want to be here.
12:06Hey.
12:07Hey.
12:07You made it.
12:08Yeah.
12:09Good to see you.
12:10Thank you so much.
12:11Yeah, of course.
12:12This is Katie.
12:13Katie, Will.
12:14Hi.
12:14Andy.
12:15Hi.
12:16Katie.
12:16Sylvia.
12:17Congratulations, you guys.
12:18This is such an achievement.
12:20So cool.
12:20So happy.
12:23Will really couldn't end it without your support, Sylvia.
12:25I'm going to get us some drinks.
12:27Great.
12:27Oh, okay.
12:27All right, listen.
12:28I'm not going to say no, because, you know, it's your thing.
12:30I could get you through the front of the bar.
12:31Oh, thanks.
12:32Thanks.
12:32This is amazing.
12:34You really made this work.
12:35I did it.
12:36Yeah, it's cool.
12:37I have an idea for your next venture.
12:38Oh, yeah?
12:39What is it?
12:39Yes.
12:39A wine pub.
12:41A wine pub?
12:42Oh, yeah.
12:43Like a place that serves wine and food?
12:45Yes.
12:45That's called a restaurant.
12:46Yeah, not enough of those around, right?
12:48Just saying, I could be sitting on a chair having a glass of wine in this very spot.
12:53That's very true.
12:55Sorry to interrupt your story.
12:57The lady from the LA Times about the tanks.
12:59Want to go talk to her?
13:00Oh, yeah, sure.
13:01I'll be right back.
13:02Yeah, cool.
13:03This is so good.
13:04I know you worked so hard on this.
13:06I don't know what you think you know, but the divorce is still fresh.
13:09Okay?
13:09So be careful with my guy.
13:11You talk just as much shit about her as I did.
13:13But I got blamed and cut out.
13:14That's not fair.
13:15That's sexist.
13:16Don't Susan be Anthony mean, okay?
13:18Just because you got your Hillary Clinton white pants suit on.
13:21Wow.
13:21Listen, I don't make the rules.
13:23I just respect him.
13:24I don't know what you're talking about.
13:26That doesn't make any sense, so...
13:27You know exactly what I'm talking about, so...
13:28Why don't?
13:28Oh, sorry.
13:30Oh, little dozy dough.
13:32Sorry.
13:32That was weird.
13:34Congrats.
13:35Um, here we go.
13:36Hey!
13:37So, I met a guy at the bar.
13:39What?
13:39Tell me everything!
13:40Well, I couldn't hear anything that he said.
13:42Like, that'll work.
13:43Right.
13:44It's so loud in here.
13:45It's very loud.
13:46And I couldn't see him very well.
13:48I don't have my glasses on.
13:49But it's fun to be out.
13:51Oh, that's cute.
13:51Okay.
13:52Well, I think we should...
13:54We can get out of here.
13:55Don't tear me away.
13:56Okay.
13:56Yeah, I'm so fucking tired.
13:59Oh.
14:01Ugh.
14:01Well, that was a bummer.
14:03Yeah, I don't know.
14:04What did you expect?
14:05I don't know.
14:05It's just so weird to be close with someone,
14:07and then all of a sudden you complete strangers.
14:09Well, your friendship with Will is not built for this phase of life.
14:13I have a lot of male friends.
14:14I mean, I did.
14:16I used to.
14:17Yeah, so did I.
14:18My best friend in college, his name is Orin.
14:21So what happened?
14:21You still in touch?
14:22Yeah.
14:23I talked to him on the phone every night.
14:24Oh, there you go.
14:25What?
14:25Of course not.
14:26What do you think happened?
14:27What?
14:27No.
14:28No.
14:28I don't talk to him every night.
14:30What's wrong with you?
14:31We got very drunk, had sex, and then we never spoke again.
14:34Oh.
14:35This thing with you and Will, it's just more trouble than it's worth.
14:38He's from your past.
14:40He's like acid-washed Jesus.
14:41Yeah.
14:41Well, they're back in fashion.
14:43They are.
14:43Francis told me.
14:44They're back.
14:45God damn it.
14:46What the fu...
14:47I just, just gave them away.
14:51What the fuck is your fucking problem?
14:54Oh no.
14:55Oh my god.
14:55That's Audrey.
14:56That's his ex-wife.
14:57To my bar?
14:59In what world is that okay?
15:01That's the ex-wife.
15:03Jeez, she's hot.
15:05Oh my god.
15:06She's gorgeous.
15:07You have everything.
15:09You have the whole world.
15:10I have one place.
15:11This place.
15:12And you bring a fucking Nazi to my bar?
15:14Get this fucking guy out of here.
15:16In fact, I am from Norway, where Social Democratic Alliance has controlled parliament for many,
15:21many years.
15:21Don't pretend your family likes Jews.
15:23How fucking dare you?
15:25I know you guys are used to invading other people's territories, but this is my bar.
15:29This is my place.
15:30I get this in the divorce.
15:31This is not yours.
15:32It's my brother's bar.
15:33He's your fucking stepbrother.
15:35Why do you fixate on that detail?
15:36It's so weird.
15:37Because I think it's weird how close you are, if I'm being honest.
15:39I think it's weird.
15:40Your stepbrother, by the way, not the only owner of this bar.
15:43I own 24.5% of this fucking place.
15:46And meanwhile, you're bringing Lenny Riefenstahl's fucking key grip in here.
15:50Oh no, Will.
15:51Oh dear.
15:52He's unhinged.
15:53This is awful.
15:53This is so fun.
15:55Oh, I love her shoes.
15:56My god, that top.
15:58Oh.
15:58Okay, it was a mistake to bring him, but you need to cool down.
16:02Oh, I won't cool down.
16:03Take it down a notch.
16:04In this place, I can be as uncool as I want.
16:06I'll bring it up 20 notches.
16:08That's how, that's what I'm gonna do.
16:09Yeah.
16:10Go back to the bunker.
16:12Auf Wiedersehen.
16:12That was completely unprofessional, man.
16:14No fucking shit it was.
16:16You think I'm happy?
16:16Completely.
16:17I know.
16:19Oh, this is, I got, I can't, I have to stay.
16:22No, don't.
16:23No, no, no.
16:24It's not a big deal.
16:24He's just, he looks so sad.
16:25No, I'm, I actually don't care.
16:27So I will see you at morning if something's wrong.
16:29At 8.15.
16:29Okay.
16:30Oh, Jesus Christ.
16:32It's 10.15.
16:33Yeah, I, that's why I'm going home.
16:36Okay.
16:38Hey buddy.
16:39Hey.
16:40You okay?
16:42No.
16:43I need to get out of here.
16:45Do you want to get a drink somewhere else?
16:47Yeah, sure.
16:50I thought you guys ended on friendly terms.
16:53That didn't seem very friendly.
16:55Can you tell me what happened?
16:57Like, why it ended and...
16:59She just started to, you know, think I was not ambitious enough and not a serious person.
17:06And she thought I drank too much.
17:08Which is like literally your job.
17:09Literally my job.
17:10I'm working right now.
17:11I'm killing it.
17:12Putting in overtime, you know?
17:14But, and then she kind of moved up in the world as an art dealer and she just started to
17:20look at me like I was a fucking loser.
17:21And so I did the mature, uh, responsible thing and I hooked up with a rando one night.
17:30So, you really are the hero.
17:32I think I look pretty good, right?
17:35Coming out on top.
17:36Yeah, you crushed it.
17:37Yeah, yeah.
17:39Um...
17:40Well, there's a lot of pretty lessons here, huh?
17:43Maybe you just need to be with someone else.
17:45I don't know.
17:46That's not what I need.
17:48I don't mean like a life partner, but just someone for a bit of fun.
17:52You know, I could do my whole thing again.
17:54I could dust off my wings and be your wing lass.
17:58It's okay.
17:58Are you drunk?
17:59How many beers have you had?
18:00Uh, I've had two beers.
18:02So, yes, I am.
18:03This is not a meet people bar.
18:04This is a trauma bar.
18:05Okay?
18:06Okay.
18:06There you go.
18:12Hey, ladies.
18:14He has a lot of tattoos.
18:16I see you have some tattoos.
18:17I do.
18:18Huh?
18:18What does this one mean?
18:19It's a tribute to my boyfriend who was murdered a year ago.
18:22Do you mind me asking what happened?
18:23I've never met anyone who's...
18:25You stabbed.
18:26Uh, okay.
18:28Nice meeting you.
18:29Lovely to meet you.
18:30Bring it in.
18:31Cheers.
18:32Sorry.
18:33Jesus.
18:34Oh, she seemed really sweet, but I think she had a lot of baggage.
18:38You think?
18:39At least if I'm with her, I know if I die, I'll be honored in the form of a tramp
18:42stamp.
18:42I can't be dating right now.
18:44It is humiliating.
18:45I'm 40 years old, okay?
18:47The thought of it gives me a panic attack, you know?
18:50Look.
18:50Look at this guy.
18:51Look at this cutie.
18:53Remember him?
18:54Huh?
18:55He was the king of pussy town.
18:57They don't really say that anymore.
18:59Oh, I'm sorry.
19:00He was the emperor of pussy town.
19:02The president of the pussy.
19:04P-Town.
19:05P-Town daddy.
19:06All jokes aside, look how young and virile I am.
19:09Yeah.
19:10And my look almost seems as though it is single-handedly being pulled together through this amazing golden
19:18chai necklace.
19:19Here we go.
19:20My beautiful chai.
19:21This was the best thing that ever happened to me.
19:23And now, honestly, now that I think about it, my entire life went downhill the moment
19:27my chai necklace was thrown away.
19:30And I am not going to apologize for getting rid of that thing.
19:34Men can't wear gold necklaces.
19:35That was so ugly.
19:36Tell that to Mel Gibson.
19:38Exactly.
19:39Literally, you have to tell him, because he will not talk to Jewish people.
19:42All right.
19:43That's it.
19:44Let's go.
19:44I'm going to get you a new chai necklace.
19:47A chai necklace?
19:48A chai necklace.
19:49I don't know if there's any 24-hour Judaica stores in the neighborhood.
19:52Come on, Mel.
19:53Let's go.
19:55Good to see you.
19:58Here we are.
20:04Hello.
20:05Hi, hi, hi.
20:06We request access.
20:07Come here.
20:10Hello.
20:10Hello.
20:12You looking for a guitar?
20:15No.
20:16Because this one belonged to Mick Jagger.
20:19What?
20:20How much is it?
20:21A thousand.
20:23That seems like a bargain.
20:24A Mick Jagger's guitar.
20:26We could buy it and sell it for a profit.
20:28It's not Mick Jagger's guitar.
20:30I'm just saying.
20:30That might be Rick Jagger's guitar.
20:32I have an interested buyer.
20:34We're good.
20:36What the fuck?
20:40Look at that.
20:41I want that.
20:42The dog?
20:43No, not that.
20:43The W hanging off the collar.
20:46W.
20:46Will.
20:46I'm Will.
20:47That stands for Will.
20:49That's sterling silver.
20:50Fifty bucks.
20:51Wow.
20:52Fifty dollars.
20:53Sterling silver.
20:54What a deal.
20:55Sterling silver.
20:55Fifty dollars.
20:57Okay.
20:58Come on.
20:58Look at that.
20:59We got a deal, sir.
21:00Sold.
21:03Go on and get it now.
21:04Pardon me?
21:05I'm not taking anything from a wrestler.
21:08Okay.
21:09All right.
21:09Thank you, sir.
21:10I would like every fuck.
21:13Oh, come on, man.
21:14You just took my money.
21:16Like, just then.
21:17Yeah.
21:20God bless.
21:20I can't steal.
21:22I can't steal.
21:22I'm a married woman.
21:24I have three children.
21:25I can't get attacked by a dopamine.
21:27Why did you come out tonight?
21:28I wanted to see you, Cashel.
21:30No, no, no, no, no, no.
21:31That is not why you came out.
21:33You came out to have fun.
21:34I did.
21:35So, why don't we have fun?
21:36Let's do it.
21:37Come on.
21:37Your kids will think it's cool if their mother's missing an ear.
21:39Please.
21:40No, no, no.
21:41Go ahead.
21:41Just, you calm the beast as I approach you.
21:43How?
21:44How?
21:44What should I...
21:45Just, I don't know.
21:47Ring around you, Lucy.
21:49Pocket for the posies.
21:51Come in a fucking hornburner now.
21:52That's not helping, okay?
21:54Just do something else.
21:55Hi, sweet girl.
21:57Hi.
21:59I paid for this.
22:01Stay.
22:01Okay.
22:03Oh.
22:04Okay.
22:06Okay.
22:08Okay.
22:09Okay.
22:09Oh!
22:10Oh!
22:11Oh!
22:12Oh!
22:12Oh!
22:14Oh!
22:15Oh!
22:16Oh!
22:16Oh!
22:17Oh!
22:17Oh!
22:20Yes!
22:21Yes!
22:22Worth it!
22:23Oh, God.
22:24You want a weed gummy?
22:25Yes!
22:27Oh!
22:27Yes, I do!
22:28Let's go.
22:29Thank you!
22:38Pretty okay fries, am I right?
22:40Mm-hmm.
22:41That's my one.
22:43I love it.
22:45I forgot you get like this when you're high.
22:49Not that high.
22:50Mm-hmm.
22:52So what's it like to be in a healthy marriage?
22:55Is that cool?
22:56I'm good.
22:57It's good?
22:57Mm-hmm.
22:58Charlie was always pretty perfect.
22:59Mm-hmm.
23:00He's good.
23:01He just gets happier.
23:02He just gets happier.
23:04Mm-hmm.
23:04That's a nightmare.
23:05Like, this is really his moment.
23:07This is his moment.
23:08He loves being a grown-up.
23:10He loves being a grown-up.
23:11So good at being a dad.
23:13He's good at being a dad.
23:14That's a good problem.
23:15I didn't understand that at all.
23:17Mm-hmm.
23:18It just makes it look agey and...
23:21No, I kind of look like a mess next time.
23:23You?
23:24It makes you look like a mess?
23:27You?
23:29Impossible.
23:30No one in a napkin bib can be a mess by definition.
23:33You've taken preventive measures.
23:37How are your, uh, relations?
23:42Hmm.
23:43There is one thing about sex.
23:45Okay.
23:46There you go.
23:47What is it?
23:47Good sex?
23:48Bad sex?
23:49Not enough sex?
23:50Just a little bit time-consuming.
23:52Time-consuming sex.
23:54Mm-hmm.
23:54What are we talking about time-wise?
23:55Half an hour.
23:56Half an hour?
23:57Half an hour?
23:58That's like modern family with commercials.
24:01If I lasted half an hour, I would throw a parade.
24:03It's too long.
24:04It's too long.
24:05It really is too long.
24:07Exactly.
24:08Wrap it up.
24:09What are we doing here?
24:09Wrap it up.
24:10I, uh, here's a little secret.
24:12I was with a lady once and, uh, we were having sex and I was very drunk so I was
24:16not, uh,
24:17I couldn't finish.
24:18She did this thing where she, like, punched me in the back.
24:23Kind of in the lower back.
24:24Lower kidneys, kind of.
24:25I don't know what it did.
24:26It, like, flipped some jizz switch in my body and I came instantaneously.
24:31What?
24:32Yes.
24:33Okay.
24:34Show me.
24:34Where is the button?
24:35The come button?
24:39This area right here, I think.
24:41Right in this area.
24:44What is it?
24:45I don't want anything to happen.
24:46Oh, don't worry.
24:47That's disgusting.
24:48I don't care.
24:49This is a medical lesson.
24:50Don't flatter yourself.
24:51Come on.
24:52Come on.
24:52Now punch my come button.
24:54All right.
24:54Do it again.
24:54Okay.
24:56There you go.
24:57Except you hit my fart switch instead of my come button.
24:59Oh.
25:00The fart switch?
25:01Oh, yeah.
25:01They're right next door, so you've got to be careful.
25:06All right.
25:06What do you want to do now?
25:07Let's get a, let's go to Korean barbecue.
25:09No.
25:10Oh, no, no, no.
25:11I'm going home.
25:11What?
25:12Come on.
25:13I thought you were in this with me.
25:15I am.
25:15I'm totally in this with you.
25:16I'm so depressed.
25:16I need you.
25:17Don't go.
25:19But I just have so many things tomorrow and they all start so early.
25:23Fairweather friend.
25:24Fairweather friend?
25:25Yeah.
25:25Minute I heard.
25:26I called you.
25:27Uh, wait, what?
25:29Minute I heard about you and Audrey.
25:30I got in touch.
25:31I ain't a fairweather friend.
25:32Wait, that's why you got in touch?
25:34Yeah.
25:35Well, I mean, I got in touch to apologize to you, which I did.
25:37It was a pity call?
25:39You knew?
25:40You knew we were divorced?
25:42What's wrong with that?
25:43If it was, you're my friend.
25:45I heard the news.
25:47I got in touch and I was worried about you.
25:49Okay.
25:51Let's get into it, huh?
25:52Shall we?
25:53We were friends.
25:54And then you threw that friendship away because you didn't like the woman that I was going
25:57to marry.
25:58And then you heard we were getting divorced and you come back around and do a fucking victory
26:01lap.
26:02My position remains unchanged.
26:03She was terrible for you and look what happened.
26:07I just, I was in love and I just wanted you to support me.
26:10That's all I wanted.
26:11I was just being honest because I love you and you didn't want to hear it.
26:13So you ditched me.
26:14I ditched you because it's hard to be friends with someone who you know hates your wife.
26:19Isn't honesty what you want from your closest friends?
26:21No.
26:22Not when it's bad.
26:23And he didn't love Audrey, but you didn't hold that against him, did you?
26:26What's that about?
26:26It's different with men than it is with women.
26:29Men.
26:29Oh, fuck off.
26:30That's bullshit.
26:31They're more mellow about this shit.
26:33Oh, that's ridiculous.
26:34And it's fucking bullshit and it's insulting.
26:36Sometimes the truth is insulting.
26:38Men are more mellow.
26:40You know who starts wars?
26:42Men.
26:42You think George W. Bush was really fucking mellow when he invaded Iraq?
26:46Ever heard of Mary, Queen of Scots?
26:48Please tell me one thing about Mary, Queen of Scots.
26:50Bloody Mary.
26:51That's what they call her and you don't get that name by being mellow.
26:53Margaret Thatcher, she was a fucking asshole.
26:55That Cara Delevingne, she seems like a fucking mess.
26:59Okay.
26:59Okay.
27:00See you later.
27:01See you later.
27:02Have a good one.
27:03Yeah.
27:03Keep it real.
27:04Okay.
27:04And by the way, that shit, that's from 20 years ago.
27:07So is this.
27:09Ooh, that's a good one.
27:15Bye, fuck you.
27:17Yeah, fuck you.
27:18Oh, hello sir.
27:19Thank you so much.
27:26What do I even do now?
27:54Hi.
27:56Hi, baby.
27:57How was it?
27:59I was just the same old shit.
28:01Just a bunch of drama.
28:04You smell like french fries.
28:06Yeah, we went to Denny's.
28:10I missed you.
28:12I missed you, too.
28:25Hi.
28:27Hi.
28:34Let's take our time tonight.
28:42Ow!
28:43What was that?
28:44Sorry, it's just an arm spasm.
28:47I'm sorry.
28:48Jesus, you really got me there, champ.
28:50Sorry, I just...
28:52You okay?
28:54No, I...
28:55I think the moment kind of passed.
28:57Yeah, yeah, I get it.
28:59Okay.
29:00It's okay.
29:02I've got one in the post.
29:04Good night.
29:04Good night.
29:25Back punch did not work, asshole.
29:27You actually tried that?
29:29Of course I did.
29:29I made that up!
29:31You're a liar.
29:32I am.
29:32You're gonna pay for this.
29:33You're gonna pay for this so hard.
29:35Well, bring it on.
29:37So what are you doing now?
29:38I'm bidding on Garbage Pail Kids on eBay.
29:41Anything good?
29:42I got an Adam Head in mint condition.
29:45I'm kidding. I don't care.
29:47What are you doing? Online shopping for a fifth pair of high-waisted jeans?
29:51Fuck off and yes. How did you know?
29:52Should we hang out again?
29:53Sure. How about like five years from now?
29:56Cool.
29:57But Tuesdays are bad because your mom comes over.
30:01Thank you for capitalizing her name.
30:03Very respectful.
30:04She's a working dominatrix.
30:06So she demands respect.
30:07Nice try.
30:08My mom only goes to duck ponds at church.
30:10That actually sounds nice.
30:11It is nice.
30:17Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.
30:21Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.
30:25Some days I wish that I wasn't myself.
30:30No.
30:31And I hate that you know me so well.
30:34Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.
30:38Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.
30:42Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.
31:09Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.
31:12Oh, sometimes
31:15Oh, sometimes
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