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00:07You see, no traffic. I told you we'd do better on the country roads.
00:19Feel free if you'd like to walk. Don't wait for me.
00:24Oh, Richard, do stop complaining, dear. We're not in a hurry. We only came out for a ride. Enjoy the
00:32countryside.
00:45Please don't use language like that, Richard. I never said a word.
00:49I can hear you thinking, dear.
00:55You can come out. It's quite safe.
01:02Are you sure they've gone out?
01:04I saw them go. She said they were going for a drive.
01:10I wish you'd make sure.
01:23Satisfied?
01:44How long a drive?
01:47Just sit in the sun and read your paper.
01:52Mind the cattle.
01:54Feelings.
01:55Those are. There may be others.
02:01Richard, stop!
02:05What now? I can't see any cows.
02:07No, it's not the cows, dear. It's the river.
02:09I was missing the river. I wasn't going into the river.
02:13I just wanted you to have a look at it. It's very pretty.
02:20Hyacinth, you mustn't shout stop like that.
02:23Because I thought it was an emergency.
02:28There's a vehicle behind.
02:29I know there's a vehicle behind.
02:34You're in a very funny mood today, Richard Bouquet.
02:38I can hear you thinking again.
02:40And it's not Bouquet, it's Bucket.
02:42It was always Bucket till I met you.
02:45Don't let's go through all that again.
02:49Park the car, dear.
02:50I'd like to walk the river back.
02:54What?
02:56What's your mother?
02:59Why not?
03:15What happened to that terrible bird you used to knock about with?
03:19What happened to that terrible bird you used to knock about with?
03:21I married you.
03:24I mean the other one.
03:26What was her name?
03:28Melanie.
03:31Fancy going out with a muffin called Melanie.
03:34It wasn't her fault.
03:36Her mother liked gone with the wind.
03:39Oh.
03:40Anyway, it was over when I met you.
03:44You were seeing her behind my back.
03:48Well, it was tapering off.
03:58Oh, Richard, isn't it beautiful?
04:01It was beautiful.
04:02I love it.
04:15I shall hold a riverside picnic, Richard.
04:19Out of doors, but every bit as elegant as one of my candlelight suppers.
04:24Don't you think that's a good idea?
04:26Mind the yacht, dear?
04:28I can't even see a yacht.
04:31You may have noticed that I'm going backwards.
04:34Should you be going backwards, dear?
04:37That's how it works.
04:39Oh, well, keep practising and you ought to be the right way round for my riverside picnic.
04:49Has your rose got a boyfriend in?
04:52Not to my knowledge.
04:55Well, there's something going on in her room.
04:58More than can be said for hours.
05:05Perhaps it's your father.
05:08Where did he get the hammer?
05:10It's not exactly as if you've got the best toolkit.
05:16I'm not gifted that way.
05:18My talents are more intellectual.
05:23Oh, I wouldn't say that.
05:30Riparian.
05:31What?
05:34Riparian.
05:35That's the word I've been looking for and I've found it in Sheridan's dictionary.
05:40Oh, I thought we had burglars.
05:42It means of the river bank.
05:45Oh, fascinating.
05:46But what do you want with a word like riparian, especially at this time of night?
05:51Because I have to issue invitations.
05:54To my waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
06:01Oh, you mean a riverside picnic?
06:05No, I do not mean riverside picnic, Richard.
06:08I mean waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
06:14Now, principal guests.
06:21What's going on?
06:23Daddy's bored.
06:24He wants to do something different.
06:26Well, he could stop hammering for a start.
06:29We'll have to watch him.
06:31When he feels like that, he always goes looking for Mrs Pendlebury.
06:35Which is more than Mr Pendlebury ever did.
06:38Didn't she move to Chesterfield?
06:42I am not fetching your father back from Chesterfield.
06:46Oh, what can he be doing?
06:49He's inventing something secret.
06:53Like what?
06:54He won't tell me it's a secret.
07:24I'd like a word with you, Postman.
07:26I'd like a word with you, Postman.
07:27Did you see that?
07:29I was about to deliver this in the ordinary manner when this sudden freak wind tore it out of my
07:35grasp.
07:38I'd made every effort to cling on to it gamely in the best traditions of the postal service, but it
07:43was too much for me.
07:44And it was snatched, snatched from my fingertips.
07:48Wind?
07:51And thank goodness it's gone as quickly as it came.
07:55Don't worry, you're quite safe now.
07:59Just a moment.
08:02Oh, all right.
08:03I give up.
08:05I threw it.
08:06I tossed it straight at your door.
08:08It missed completely, but I intended it to land on your step.
08:10Never mind about that.
08:12What have you got for next door?
08:14I can't show you what I've got for next door.
08:17I don't want to look inside.
08:20I just want to be sure that you have an envelope in my handwriting for next door,
08:25so that I know their invitation has arrived.
08:28They're invited to my waterside supper with Riparian Entertainment.
08:33You posted a letter that's only going as far as next door?
08:37Yes.
08:37Why didn't you just push it through their letterbox?
08:41Because I like people to know that I use first-class stamps.
08:46Please could I see it?
08:48I'm sorry, Mrs Bucket.
08:49Bouquet!
08:50No, no, no.
08:51It's more than my job's worth to start showing you other people's mail.
08:54It's not other people's mail.
08:57It's my mail.
08:58I wrote it.
09:00I'm sorry.
09:02All right.
09:04I'll turn my back.
09:07I'll describe the envelope to you.
09:12The envelope is of a pale shade of mauve, lavender-scented.
09:18It is addressed to Elizabeth and Emmet, and the postage stamp is aligned exactly to the edge of the envelope.
09:27Close.
09:31Oh, we're invited to a waterside supper with Riparian Entertainment.
09:36Good.
09:37Well, I could do with the change.
09:39Sounds delightful.
09:40We'll go.
09:41It's from the Bucket Woman.
09:45We're not going.
09:46Make some excuse.
09:47Make your own excuses.
09:49I will not get involved with the Bucket Woman.
09:56We're invited to a what?
09:59A waterside supper with Riparian Entertainments.
10:03With what entertainments?
10:04I looked it up.
10:06It's to do with rivers and riverbanks.
10:08She means a riverside picnic.
10:10I expect so.
10:11Well, whatever it is, we're not going.
10:13At least, I'm not.
10:14I thought you might say that.
10:16And, what's more, you can tell her I said it.
10:20Oh, no. Not this time.
10:22You can tell her.
10:23What?
10:24Well, go on, then.
10:31Ring her up.
10:33Tell her we're not going to her waterside supper with Riparian Entertainments.
10:37I intend to.
10:38Don't worry.
10:39I'll tell her.
10:40The Bucket residence.
10:43Good morning, Mrs. Bucket.
10:45It's the vicar here.
10:47Ah, good morning, vicar.
10:49About your...
10:51waterside supper with Riparian Entertainments.
10:54Thank you for your kind invitation, but...
10:57I'm so glad you can come.
11:00You're one of the first on my invitation list.
11:03You'll really enjoy an elegant and leisurely evening by the river.
11:08Been to my candlelight suppers.
11:10You know the sort of thing I do.
11:12Hello?
11:13Hello, Richard.
11:16Vicar, are you there?
11:20Oh, you must have been spirited away.
11:24The vicar's coming, Richard.
11:26He was so excited I could hardly get a word in.
11:32I wish you luck.
11:34I don't need luck.
11:35It's not a question of luck.
11:37It's simply a question of telling her we're not going.
11:40Exactly.
11:41I wish you luck.
11:54Emma!
11:55How nice of you to respond so promptly.
11:59Aha, sir.
11:59About your, um...
12:01My waterside supper with Riparian Entertainment.
12:03That's the one.
12:04I knew you'd be excited.
12:07The thing is, I can't possibly...
12:09Thank me enough.
12:12Don't take that attitude, Emmett.
12:14You don't owe me any thanks.
12:15It'll be my great pleasure to have you there.
12:22Oh, coffee in ten minutes, Elizabeth.
12:26Please stay for coffee.
12:27No, no, no, no.
12:30Oh, what a pity.
12:33Never mind.
12:33But still my riverside function to look forward to.
12:37Bye.
12:50Whatever he's building, why can't he build it outside?
12:52I've asked him that.
12:54What did he say?
12:55He says...
12:58Oh...
13:01He says he can't build it outside because it's a secret.
13:05How can he keep it secret if everybody sees it outside?
13:12Who's going to clean his bedroom when he's finished?
13:14I cleaned it last time.
13:16It wasn't full of sawdust, though, was it?
13:19Look, I don't mind dusting, but I think that sawdust is a man's job.
13:30Not in this house it isn't.
13:35Well done, vicar, that's very tidy.
13:44Oh, what a neat nut.
13:47Oh, do be careful with my custom-made plastic picnicware, Richard.
13:53Where do you want it?
13:55Inside the car, I think.
14:04Hi, sir.
14:05Yes, dear.
14:05Could you open the door, please?
14:07Just a minute, dear.
14:08I'm checking.
14:10Richard.
14:11Let me.
14:15There you are.
14:15Thanks.
14:26Yes, dear, what was it?
14:28The smagina.
14:31Now, where are the prawns?
14:33Where are the prawns?
14:35The prawns are here.
14:37The prawns are tying the furniture to the roof.
14:40Quiet, Emma, she'll hear you.
14:42If she does, it'll be for the first time.
14:43She never listens.
14:46Vicar, I believe you have the prawns.
14:49Do be careful with them.
14:50They're select Norwegian.
14:53Don't see it.
14:55Don't worry about those for a moment, Richard.
14:57We'll wait for my sister Violet's Mercedes.
15:00She'll have ample room for a table or two.
15:03After all, she does have room for a pony.
15:09Violet, where are you, dear? You're late.
15:12Yes, well, we're all ready.
15:14Hmm.
15:15I thought you could help us with the tables.
15:18It's my sister Violet.
15:19She's the one with the Mercedes sauna and a musical bidet.
15:25Classical, of course.
15:28Now, why is Bruce having a lie down?
15:31Well, wake him up. Get him up.
15:34What do you mean he can't stand up?
15:45Violet, if he has drunk all your sherry, dear, it's not the end of the world.
15:50Get a friend to drive you.
15:53In the same income bracket, of course.
15:56Look, we'll meet you at the river, next to the boatyard.
16:01What a waste of sherry. All the trifles she could have made.
16:07I can't get further back because...
16:10But I'm so glad someone's got room for a pony.
16:21Isn't she a little overdressed?
16:23It's only a picnic.
16:26Is everybody ready, then?
16:28Isn't this thrilling?
16:30Why did you put her in my parish?
16:33Drive carefully, Richard.
16:35Remember, upon you depends the safety of my select Norwegian prawns.
17:01It's not me, it's the potholes.
17:08Well, mine the potholes.
17:10Mine and the potholes.
17:11It's not me, sir.
17:15My hat, Richard.
17:17Stop the car.
17:18I told you...
17:22Ow!
17:25Now, I'll find us a smoother way.
17:42Oh, what a temptation that must be.
17:52Oh, look! The river's over there!
17:55Come along!
18:08I'll drive you any time, Violet, as long as I don't have to wear a suit and a cap.
18:12You'd look great in a suit and a cap.
18:17I'm more your casual dresser.
18:19Maximum chic for me is more your laid-back, slobby look.
18:29Shut the gate!
18:33I think of something else I'd like to shut.
18:38It's just round the next bend.
18:41A lovely secluded spot, you'll see.
18:44Well worth the effort.
18:47When I first saw it, I knew it was where I must hold my waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
18:56Off we go again.
18:58Sing if you like.
19:01I'd like to go a-wondering along the way of...
19:07Why does she have to sing?
19:09What's she doing?
19:16We're almost there!
19:18You'll love it!
19:20I promise you.
19:22You'll really love it!
19:37Now what?
19:40Friends!
19:42I'm sorry to have to inform you that some hostile and inconsiderate person has seen fit to place a dredger
19:51at my chosen spot.
19:53Don't be faint-hearted, I have a solution!
19:58We shall go and commandeer some small craft, then drift at leisure until we happen upon another ideal place for
20:07our waterside supper with riparian entertainment.
20:21I don't know where they could have got to. She said she'd meet us here.
20:25We weren't invited, Violet.
20:28You were invited by me.
20:30Well, we broke grub, so we might as well start our own picnic.
20:33Fair enough.
20:35I'll get the wine from the cooler.
20:38Have you got father's beer?
20:39He can have a beer when he tells us what he was inventing.
20:43I've asked him, but he won't tell me.
20:46Now we're never going to know.
20:48I hope it wasn't something that could have become a household name.
20:52Like your Rose.
21:05Why is there a queue, Richard?
21:08This is a lock gate.
21:10They're waiting to enter the lock.
21:12Lock?
21:13Has somebody lost the key, dear?
21:17Now you mustn't be impatient.
21:19You simply have to wait until it's after.
21:22Nonsense.
21:23Overtake them, Richard.
21:26These people are probably all on holiday.
21:28They're all the time in the world.
21:30We're only here for a little while.
21:32We can't be waiting in queues.
21:35Thank you very much, holidaymakers.
21:38Thank you very much, holidaymakers.
21:39Thank you very much, holidaymakers.
21:46Richard, where have they locked us in?
21:48We've got to wait for the water level to drop.
21:51Well, I can't stay here and wait for the tide to go out.
21:55It's got nothing to do with the tide.
21:57They have to drain the water from the lock.
22:00Well, I think it's ridiculous.
22:02Why can't we go straight through?
22:04Because we're waiting for the lockkeeper.
22:06There he is now.
22:08See, he'll let the water out,
22:10and then very soon they'll allow us through.
22:21Ahoy there, lockkeeper!
22:23I must warn you that we've sailed on the QE2.
22:28As an experienced mariner,
22:30I'm not prepared to wait down here indefinitely.
22:34There must be a quicker way to go.
22:36You could try going over the weir.
22:41What do you think, Richard?
22:43She'll be trying going over the weir.
22:55We won't be long now.
22:58We'll probably find somewhere just round the next corner.
23:01That's what she keeps saying.
23:04Pass it on.
23:06Won't be long now.
23:08We'll probably...
23:09Emmet, you're naughty.
23:11She won't ask you again.
23:14We'll probably find it just round the next corner.
23:19Are you all right?
23:20Ask me later.
23:22At the moment, I haven't got the energy to check.
23:25You know, when you watch the boat race,
23:26they seem to go quite fast.
23:29There are eight of them.
23:31Oh, yes, I suppose that must make a difference.
23:35They don't carry passengers and a six-course banquet.
23:40Are you starting to flag, Richard?
23:44Just a little.
23:45Would you like me to take over?
23:48No, somehow I don't think that's a very good idea, Hyacinth.
23:52Well, they have Lady Roa's in the Olympics.
23:55We're not in the Olympics.
23:58It just feels as if we are.
24:01Well, at least let me share the burden.
24:05Oh, Luke!
24:09What's she doing?
24:10I don't know.
24:12She's going to help him.
24:13I wonder if Richard sees it that way.
24:16Here, I hope we'll be able to keep up.
24:19Now, do we do it together or take it in turns?
24:24Now, Hyacinth.
24:25Now, there's no time to discuss it, dear.
24:27You start and I'll copy you.
24:30Well, watch.
24:52There.
24:53It's not very difficult when you know how.
24:56She's doing quite well.
24:58Come on, keep up, Emmett.
25:00You start.
25:06Oh, you nearly start, isn't it, Richard?
25:25Thank you, Lord.
25:27Well, we haven't had the picnic, but I must say I enjoyed the riparian entertainments.
25:37Oh, there's that dishy Emmett.
25:40Hi, Liz!
25:41Onslow.
25:42Hello, Daisy.
25:43Hello, Daisy Rose.
25:48Oh!
25:49There's that dishy Vicar.
25:52Evening, Vicar.
25:54Hello, Onslow.
25:56Sorry we can't stop.
26:05They've thrown her in.
26:07I bet somebody's just snapped.
26:12Just look at that stiff upper lip.
26:15You've got to admire that stiff upper lip.
26:23You've got to admire that stiff upper lip.

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