00:19I'll admit you've got some smooth moves, but wait till you see the scope of MY wrath!
00:24TAKE THAT!
00:29Oh man, this pop-up ad totes interrupted my pwnage!
00:32That's not an ad, it's a message on your friend space account.
00:35Ooh, somebody wrote me!
00:38If you do not forward this message to three friends, you will be cursed with bad luck forever.
00:43I'll just send it to three friends and kiss bad luck goodbye!
00:46Wait a sec, I don't have any friends.
00:49Orbot, Qbot, I command you to friend space me!
00:56Ooh, I have two friend requests!
01:00Huh?
01:01That awkward moment when your boss tears apart the lair searching for the remote only to realize it was stuck
01:07to his butt the whole time.
01:08That could have been about any boss?
01:11Hashtag Eggman problems!
01:13Ha ha ha ha! That's a good one! I gotta share that!
01:17Oh no, it's trending!
01:19I'll deal with you two later!
01:21Right now, I gotta get me a third friend!
01:23Be my friend?
01:25Just looking for some rap buddies!
01:27You like chat runes?
01:28Why is it so hard for an evil villain to win the trust of the people he victimizes?
01:39Need help moving?
01:40Friend?
01:48The people in this town are so nice. What was it you said you do again?
01:52Oh, you'll find out soon enough.
01:54Hey! We should stay in touch! Let's link up on friend space!
01:58Oh, I'd be delighted!
02:00Of course it might take me a bit. My computer's buried in one of these boxes.
02:05And besides, I probably won't have internet hooked up for a few weeks-
02:08Ugh!
02:11Huh?
02:13Hey, there's that rabbit girl. She's so hip and condescending.
02:17I'll bet she's got hundreds of friends!
02:20What shakin' girlfriend? Snappin' some selfies to your BFFs? That's on fleek!
02:25Ew. You sound like my mom when she tries to relate to me.
02:28Parents, right? They're so whack!
02:30Hey, since we have so much in common, how about being my friend on friend space?
02:34Friend space? That is so two weeks ago.
02:38Tell me about it. Boresville! So, uh, what should I be using?
02:43Snark chat, duh.
02:45Never mind. Snark chat's so over.
02:50Need a hand crossing the street, old-timer?
02:52Oh, what a nice young man. Are you trying to earn your merit badge?
02:57Eh, something like that.
02:59If you would be so kind when you get back to the home, boot up your computer,
03:03log on to friend space, and shoot a friend request my way.
03:05Shoot out my compa-hoo-zit and what into her space?
03:17This is bad, oh no, oh no!
03:21Oh good, he's okay.
03:27Oh no!
03:30It's $hew!
03:30Oh no!
03:31Ahhhhh!
03:33Ahhhhh!
03:36Ahhhhh.
03:43Ohhhhhhh!
03:48Aaahhh!write
03:51-aw! Oohhh!
03:52for what is sure to be his record 25th consecutive goal.
03:59Good grief.
04:00Hey, guys, what you doing?
04:01Shooting the hoops, tossing around the old pigskin,
04:04doing the sports?
04:06What do you want, Egghead?
04:08What?
04:08I don't want anything.
04:09I demand you add me on Friendspace.
04:12No way.
04:12You're not my friend.
04:13You're my enemy.
04:14Well, fine.
04:16I want to be your friend anyway.
04:17I was only asking because, because my mom-pot made me.
04:27I kind of feel bad for the guy.
04:29It might not be such a bad idea to add Eggman on Friendspace.
04:32It would be a great way to keep tabs on him.
04:37Do I really have no friends?
04:40Maybe it's time to take a hard look at myself, change my attitude,
04:43try being nice to people.
04:46A friend request from Sonic the Hedgehog?
04:50And to think, I was about to needlessly improve myself.
04:55If you do not forward this message to three friends,
04:58oh, jeez, delete.
05:05So he's an over-sharer.
05:07Yeah, just ignore him, the way Medburger ignores their customer complaint forms.
05:11We're not ignoring them, we're just saving them in case we run out of napkins.
05:15Eggman's a social media menace.
05:17During this conversation alone, he sent me an animated GIF of a dancing penguin,
05:21a check-in at Wolf Sidekick's open mic,
05:23and a poorly written article complaining about the mayor's private email server.
05:27I'm sure he'll settle down eventually.
05:31Oh, you're gonna need a two-pie for that one.
05:34Thankfully, this guy had a long list of complaints.
05:39People have accused me of running a pyramid scheme.
05:43To them I say, sign up and find out for yourself.
05:48You're not gonna get away with this scam, Barker.
05:51Scam is such a harsh term.
05:53I like to think of it as relieving my clients of the undue burden of carrying a heavy wallet.
05:58Stunt bears, why don't you break it down for them?
06:03Huh?
06:04What now? I'm not even in this picture. Why didn't he tag me?
06:15Dude, this means, like, five years old.
06:20Another cat video? That's it! I'm unfriending him!
06:25Ooh, talk like a pirate day's coming up.
06:27I should send Sonic a reminder.
06:29Ahoy, matey!
06:34What? Sonic unfriended me?
06:36I'm sure it was a misunderstanding.
06:38I'll just send him another friend request.
06:39We'll be lolling about this later.
06:45Rejected. Two can play at this game.
06:48I'll create my own social network.
06:50With no sonics allowed.
06:56Brainstorming time!
06:57What does every successful social media site need?
07:00Ah.
07:00Pictures of your lunch?
07:02Easy sharability of clickbait articles?
07:04That's good. That's good.
07:05How about a way to force everybody to look at pictures of your ugly baby.
07:11Might I also suggest the ability to give the bare minimum of acknowledgement
07:15To someone without actually writing anything. I like that. I'm gonna call it winking
07:20That'll be a great feature on my social media site now. I just need to get the right buzz going.
07:29Oh
07:30Oh Sonic didn't see you there must have unfriended you from my peripheral vision
07:35Still mad egg, but maybe if you didn't send me pictures of your brunch every eight seconds none of this
07:39would have happened
07:40Well, excuse me for thinking you'd appreciate a good eggs benedict. Now if you don't mind I have someone I
07:45need to speak with
07:47What's up gal pal? I've got one word for you
07:50Is it goodbye? No, it's scrambler my new social networking site
07:55It's got a super simple interface easy navigation targeted ads based on all your personal data pass
08:02Well so much for scrambler and nobody even got to use it
08:06Did you say there are no users that sounds uber exclusive? I'm in and
08:13So are 3,000 of my closest friends
08:17Everything's coming up
08:30Dead man
08:31James what's going on around here? We all signed up for scrambler. It's a new social media site now instead
08:37of talking to people
08:38You just fry a message over to their scrambler pan
08:49I hate it already, but I'd better sign up to just in case. It's an evil scheme or something
08:58You gotta be kidding me Eggman won't let me join
09:12Where is everybody this game was supposed to start an hour ago
09:19Ah
09:32We're closed for an exclusive promotional event exclusive but everyone in towns in there
09:37So you're not on the list you need to RSVP on scrambler, but I'm not on scrambler
09:43Get with the jimes old man
09:53Okay, I get it you're sorry because I unfriended you, huh?
09:58What's wrong egghead? Oh nothing. I just have no friends is all say what everyone in the whole village is
10:04your friend
10:05They're just digital friends. I posted a scrambler status asking for a cup of sugar
10:10Not one friend responded not one. They just winked at me
10:14You know how condescending it feels to have 67 people wink at you
10:1868
10:19Tell you what if you let me join scrambler
10:21I'll comment on all your posts no matter how pointless or factually inaccurate
10:26Really you do that all right, then welcome to scrambler
10:35Wow this interface is actually really intuitive you like it. Heck. Yeah, I do
10:41unfriended
10:42How does it feel to be unfriended by your enemy not so good, huh?
10:47Well, I feel like a million bucks. In fact, I'm gonna unfriend everybody who didn't bring me sugar
10:52Then I'm gonna delete the whole scrambler app
11:11If I can't have real live friends at least I can have real live enemies
11:22You
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