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00:03I don't give shitty jobs. If a good man comes to me and says, thank you David for the opportunity
00:11and continued support in the work-related arena, but I've done that, I want to better
00:15myself, I want to move on, then I can make that dream come true to, aka, for you. The
00:22point is, you talk the talk, do not walk the walk, vis-a-vis you have not yet passed your
00:27forklift driver's test. The man who gives the jobs in the warehouse is a personal
00:31friend of mine, alright? I know the man for the job. Sammy, you old slag. The Rentmeister
00:40General. Have you ever charged the forklift driver's job? No, good, don't bother, I've
00:45got the man here. He's perfect. As he passed his forklift driver's tests, he gives the
00:50tests. Yeah, yeah. His first aid trained, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We'll get a CV over to
00:59you this afternoon. I'm seeing you this Sunday, aren't I? For my sins. Oh, he's
01:06alone, she left you yet? Yeah. Alright, see you then. She has left him, I forgot about that.
01:18David Brent. Yes? I've been in the business for 12 years. Yeah, no worries. I've been at
01:24Wernham Hogger's general manager for eight of those, so putting together my team. Lovely
01:31Dawn. Dawn Tinsley. Receptionist. What? You've been through this for ages, haven't you? Yeah.
01:38I'd say, at one time or another, every bloke in the office has woken up at the crack of
01:42Dawn. What? Get out of the mail, please. Yeah. Just a fax. Dawn, this is from head office.
01:56I know. How many times have I told you there's a special filing cabinet for things from head
01:58to head office? You haven't told me. Oh, the waste paper basket. You're fine. Don't get
02:04that back. People say I'm the best boss. They go, oh, you know, we've never worked in a
02:07place like this before. You're such a laugh. You get the best out of us. And I go, you
02:11know, c'est la vie. If that's true, excellent. Be, er, be gentle with me today, Dawn.
02:18Yeah, why is that? Oh, God. I had a skin fall last night. I was out with Finchy, Chris Finch.
02:24Had us in a pub crawl. Elvino did flow. It's a bit of blot-ed. Blot-ed. Blot-ed. Blot
02:32-ed.
02:32Oh, don't ever come out with me and Finchy. No, I won't. Oh, but you've got to go for it.
02:38There's guys my age and they look 50. How old do you think I look? 30. 30, yeah.
02:44Yeah. Yeah. Like that. But I would have to slow down. Drinking a bit too much. If, er,
02:51every single night of the week's too much. And every lunchtime.
03:00How many have I had this week? How many pints have I drunk this week, if you're counting?
03:04I'm not counting. Aren't you? You seem to know a lot about my drinking. Does it offend you?
03:10You know, getting a little bit personal. Like, imagine if I started doing that with you.
03:17I could look at you and come out with something really witty and biting, like you're a bit...
03:22But I don't. Because I'm a professional. And professionism is...
03:28And that is what I want. Okay? That's all.
03:34That's a shame.
03:45What's that? Don't do that!
03:50What, eh? Was it time of the month?
03:53Er, just the eight pints for me last night, then. That's all.
04:03Oh, no. Oh, God.
04:06Boss and team leader in drunken night out shock horror.
04:09It says here.
04:13It's not like I'm out again tonight with Oggy.
04:15That'll be a quiet night in at the library.
04:17Not.
04:19I don't think.
04:21Er, I'm a sales rep, which means that my job is to speak to clients on the phone about, er,
04:28quantity and type of paper and whether we can supply it with them and whether they can pay for it.
04:37And I'm boring myself, talking about it.
04:40Which is...
04:42What's up?
04:43Hey, what's up? I love that.
04:45What's up?
04:47You're fired, Keenan. Drunkard.
04:50Hypocrite warning.
04:54Oh, God.
04:55What's he been saying?
04:57It's all true.
04:58Guilty as charged.
04:59Oh, yeah, we're out with a few of his mates, didn't we?
05:02And, er, he goes, well, tag along if you want, but I must warn you, David, they do get a
05:06bit rowdy after a few pints.
05:07I went, I'll see if I can stand it.
05:09I was worse than them by the end.
05:11They're going, who's that nutter?
05:13That's my boss.
05:14Well, we can't stand it anymore, we're going.
05:15They just left, didn't they?
05:17Oh, God.
05:18Absolutely mental.
05:21It's all.
05:26What?
05:28Nothing.
05:32See you later.
05:34Take care.
05:41Sam, do you mind giving maintenance call? There's a nasty smell on the lift.
05:45Head office don't really interfere with me at all.
05:48Jennifer might come down once a week.
05:51Jennifer Taylor-Clark.
05:52Call her, er, Camilla Parker Bowles.
05:55Locked her face.
05:56Not cos I'm scared of her.
05:57I've got on my phone, you know, Nobby Burton who comes round with a suitcase.
06:01Two for a tenner.
06:02Yes, please, four.
06:03So, OK, meeting with Jennifer Taylor-Clark.
06:07Present.
06:08Hmm.
06:09Right.
06:09Shoot.
06:10Was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?
06:12Did no get an agenda.
06:14Sorry?
06:14Did not get an agenda, no.
06:16I did fax you on this morning.
06:18Don't think we got a fax, have you, Don?
06:20Yeah, we may have.
06:21Then why isn't it in my hand?
06:23Because a company runs on efficiency of communication.
06:27Or you, um, put it in the bin that was a special filing cabinet.
06:31As a joke, yeah.
06:32It's not even my joke, it's my brother's joke.
06:34And it's meant to be with bills.
06:35It doesn't really work with faxes.
06:36Do you want to have a look at mine?
06:37Yeah.
06:39Yeah, sure, she'd say she's the boss, yeah.
06:42But there should be no ego when you're pulling together to do something good.
06:49Yeah?
06:49It's like comic relief.
06:52Yeah?
06:53I'm out here in Africa and I'm seeing the flies and the starvation.
06:57And she, if she is the boss, she's in the studio with, you know, Jonathan Ross and Lenny Henry
07:03and they've got their suits on.
07:04They're doing their bit, they're counting the money.
07:05Good luck to them.
07:05But their hands are clean while I'm down here in the office with the little starving kids.
07:11Yeah.
07:12Right.
07:12Since the last meeting, Alan and the board have decided that we can't justify a Swindon branch
07:18and a slough.
07:19Oh, okay, go on.
07:20No, no, no, no.
07:20Listen, David, don't panic.
07:21Should be good.
07:22This is it.
07:22Go on.
07:23No, no, no, no, no.
07:24Don't panic.
07:25We haven't made any decision.
07:25Don't panic.
07:26Yeah.
07:27We haven't made any decisions yet.
07:28Good.
07:28I've spoken to Neil in Swindon.
07:30I've told him the same as you.
07:31Yeah.
07:32And it's up to either you or him to convince me that your branch could incorporate the other.
07:37Okay, no problem.
07:38This does, however, mean that there are going to be redundancies.
07:41Oh, I see.
07:42Did I no one to hear that, Jenny, because redundancies are a tragedy always.
07:46I wouldn't wish that on Neil's men.
07:48I certainly wish that on my men or women.
07:50Present company, excepted.
07:52Is Neil concerned about redundancies?
07:53Well, he is, of course, yes.
07:54Because I'm very concerned about redundancies.
07:57Although I understand if they're absolutely necessary, as a businessman, then they have
07:59to...
07:59Does he understand if they're...
08:00David.
08:00Go on.
08:01Can we not talk about redundancies?
08:03What we have to decide...
08:04Too soon or later.
08:05Yes, but at the moment what we have to decide is do you take on Swindon's people at this branch
08:09or the other way round?
08:11Yeah, we take on theirs.
08:12No.
08:12No.
08:14You and I don't decide.
08:15I decide.
08:16I do decide, but...
08:17Once you've made your case.
08:18Based on factors.
08:19OK.
08:20Is there a time limit on...?
08:22Let it go into Answer Machine.
08:23Oh, mate.
08:24Not around at the moment, so please leave a massage.
08:27Hello, Dave.
08:28It's the Finch.
08:29Chris Finch.
08:29Bloody good rep.
08:30You've got to hang up with your big puff.
08:31Ah, that's derogatory.
08:32That's a shame.
08:33You're in with that Jennifer Watser face today, aren't you?
08:36Give her one from me.
08:37Aw.
08:37Cheers, big ears.
08:38Awful.
08:39Awful, man.
08:39Stop looking up my skirt.
08:41David.
08:41I wasn't.
08:42Can we keep a lid on this for the time being?
08:43I...
08:44I really don't want to worry people unduly.
08:46No.
08:47Under this regime, Jenny, this will not leave the office.
08:50So what does redundancy actually mean?
08:52So you'd just go, would you?
08:54Two.
08:56Oh, I don't know.
08:58Keith and Jamie, you know, they're all sort of like having these...
09:00I know, I know.
09:00...weird sort of clandestine little chants about the fact that...
09:04Do you?
09:05I couldn't give a shit.
09:07Yeah.
09:11Does that make sense?
09:13Yeah.
09:14OK.
09:16This is Mr Brent.
09:18Guilty.
09:19All right.
09:19Hi.
09:21Ricky Howard from the temporary agency.
09:23Furness sent me down to start today.
09:25Temporary.
09:27Staff only.
09:29Ricky?
09:29Yeah.
09:30RICKY!
09:31RICKY!
09:32RICKY!
09:32No, RICKY!
09:34What is his girlfriend's name?
09:35Bianca.
09:36RICKY!
09:37Leave it!
09:38Did you tell you I was mad?
09:39Well, yeah.
09:40She said you had a nervous breakdown.
09:41I haven't had a nervous breakdown.
09:43So...
09:43No.
09:43Sorry, that was a joke.
09:44Yeah.
09:44She said you're a really good laugh.
09:45Well.
09:47We all are, aren't we?
09:49Part of my job description now, innit?
09:51Unofficially.
09:52OK.
09:53Let's get you started.
09:53Into the fray!
09:55Right.
09:56What upsets me about the job.
10:00Erm...
10:00Wasted talent.
10:01Yeah?
10:03People could come to me and they'd go,
10:05Excuse me, David, but you've been in the business 12 years.
10:08Can you just spare us a moment to tell us how to, you know, run a team?
10:11How to keep them task orientated as well as, you know, happy?
10:15Well, they don't.
10:17That's the tragedy.
10:19This is the, er, accounts department.
10:23Right?
10:25Yes.
10:26The number bods.
10:27Do not be fooled by their job descriptions.
10:30They are absolutely mad, all of them.
10:34Especially that one.
10:36He's mental.
10:38Not literally, obviously.
10:40That wouldn't work.
10:41Last place you'd want something like that is in accounts.
10:45This is the, er, recycling bin.
10:48Right.
10:48Obviously we get through a lot of paper.
10:50We make a lot.
10:52That's what I said.
10:52Sell it.
10:53Yeah.
10:54Doesn't grow on trees.
10:56You know, it's, yeah, it's pulp.
10:57Yeah.
10:58Yeah.
11:00OK, Mr Davis, can I just call you back?
11:01Something just come up.
11:03Two minutes.
11:03Thanks very much.
11:04All right.
11:05What are you doing?
11:06Gareth, what are you doing?
11:07I'm just pushing the stuff off my desk.
11:09I can't concentrate.
11:10It wasn't my own desk.
11:11It was.
11:11It's all overlapping.
11:12It's all coming over the edge here.
11:14All right?
11:15One word.
11:15Two syllables.
11:17Demarcation.
11:17All right?
11:19Baby friend, I presume.
11:21Let's just do that to cheer these lot up.
11:23All right.
11:24Send them out to get the plants.
11:25The girls can make them a little bit happier.
11:27Er, because they can sometimes get a little bit.
11:34All right, let's run out of batteries.
11:35Do you want to get some batteries for Billy Big Mouth?
11:37Let's run out.
11:37Take out our petty cash.
11:40Can't put a price on comedy.
11:43Er...
11:43You're a twat, Gareth.
11:44You're a twat on a knob end.
11:45I'm still not listening, so it's not offending me, sir.
11:47Right, OK, so you won't hear this.
11:49You're the cock.
11:49You're the cock.
11:50You're the cock.
11:52You're the cock.
11:53You're the cock.
11:54Yeah, look.
11:55This is the sort of work we're doing.
11:57Cartoons.
11:59Does my bum look big in these?
12:02It's not sexist.
12:03That's the bloke saying it.
12:04At last.
12:06So...
12:06All for that.
12:07All for that in the workplace.
12:12Well, it's a scraper first, didn't it?
12:20You've met Tim, haven't you?
12:22Yeah.
12:23Oh, careful.
12:24What's this one?
12:25Gareth Keenan in the area.
12:27You're a new town.
12:28Here's yourself.
12:29Good to see you.
12:30Erm, Gareth Keenan, assistant regional manager.
12:32Assistant to the regional manager.
12:33Gareth's my right-hand man.
12:34Immediately.
12:35Beneath me.
12:36Oh!
12:36Hasn't he actually said to a visual?
12:38No, he's not.
12:39I'm not.
12:40Tell me about your car and your kung fu and everything.
12:42Er, yeah, I've got a TR3.
12:44I bought it for £1200.
12:45Done it up.
12:46Now it's worth three grand.
12:47Profit on that.
12:48New suspension.
12:49New engine.
12:50Just a wreck.
12:51Do it himself.
12:53Oh, what is that?
12:54Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
12:55Right, that is it.
12:56Slow down, you move too fast.
12:57Solomon's here.
12:58All part of the job.
12:59What's going on?
13:00Put my stapler inside the jelly again.
13:02That's the third time it's done.
13:04It wasn't even funny the first time.
13:05Why has he done that?
13:06Told him once that I don't like jelly.
13:09Don't trust the way it moves.
13:10Yeah, you showed him a weakness.
13:11He pounced.
13:12You should know about that.
13:13Oh, what is it in there?
13:15It's my stapler.
13:16Well, don't do that.
13:18Eat it out.
13:18There's people starving in the world, which I hate.
13:20So, and it's a waste.
13:22So, how do you know it's yours?
13:23Because it's got my name on it in Tippex.
13:25Yeah, don't eat it now.
13:26In chemicals.
13:28Right, you can be my witness.
13:29Give him an official warning.
13:30How do you know it was me?
13:31It's always you.
13:33Can you discipline him?
13:35Oh, kinky!
13:39The thing about practical jokes is you've got to know when to stop as well as start,
13:42and now's the time to start putting Gareth's personal possessions in jelly.
13:45All right?
13:46Gareth, it's only a trifling matter.
13:49Here we go.
13:50We're always like this.
13:51Oh, God.
13:51You should put him in custody.
13:54He's going to fit in here.
13:55We're at the Vic and Bob, aren't we?
13:56And one extra one.
13:57Oh, God.
13:58You're alive.
13:58Yeah, I'm more worried, really, about damage to company property, that's all.
14:04Trifling.
14:08I'm just trying to think about the desserts.
14:09Do you know?
14:12Yeah, it's all right here, but people do sometimes take advantage because it's so relaxed.
14:17You know, I like to have a laugh just as much as an ex-man, but this is a place
14:22of work.
14:23I was in the Territorial Army for three years, and you can't muck about there.
14:26That's sort of one of the rules.
14:32Hey, dude.
14:33Give it back.
14:34I'm just using it for a second.
14:35It's got my name on it.
14:37Gareth.
14:37Yeah, it says Garrett, actually.
14:39Ask if you want to borrow it.
14:40You always say no, mate.
14:41What's the point?
14:42Perhaps that's where you should ask.
14:43Gareth, it was just there, okay?
14:45Yeah?
14:45That's his home.
14:46Leave it there.
14:48Okay.
14:50Okay.
14:52Okay.
14:53Okay.
14:53Okay.
14:54Okay.
14:54Okay.
14:54Philip, get that off him.
14:55Get that off him.
14:56Stay where you are, okay?
14:57I'm going to let this go, right, unless you stop acting like a fool.
15:00Well, you won't, so...
15:01Well, I have, so...
15:03What if they kill someone?
15:05Oh, kill...
15:05Well, they'll think you're the murderer.
15:07It's got your name on it.
15:09Why would a murderer put his name on a murder weapon?
15:11To stop people borrowing it.
15:15David.
15:15Hey, well, how do you bring me down to this?
15:17I really do...
15:18I was into it.
15:19I don't know why you'll laugh.
15:20Well, leave her out of it.
15:21Well done.
15:21You carry on.
15:22Listen, you bring me down to this, mate.
15:27There.
15:30Who's that?
15:32Popcorn.
15:33Ben Elton.
15:34Funny?
15:35It's alright, yeah.
15:39A bit of a scare earlier.
15:42Did you?
15:43I thought I found a lump.
15:45I might exam myself regularly, but it's fine.
15:50Terrifying.
15:51Testicular cancer.
15:54Cancer with them old testicles.
15:58What's that?
15:59It's a bit of prey.
16:00What from down there?
16:01Yeah.
16:05See you later.
16:11I've just got a complaint from a very important client saying that the figures I gave them
16:16are wrong.
16:17And yeah, well, basically I've checked all other possibilities and it's come down to the calculator.
16:25Well, I don't know.
16:26Circuitry?
16:27Sorry, who is this I'm talking to?
16:29Redundancy.
16:29Is it true or not?
16:30Okay.
16:31I don't know where your, what source your little bird is from.
16:36Alright, you give me a sum then.
16:38No, you, no.
16:39You give me a sum.
16:40I'll try it out.
16:41Alright.
16:42Yeah.
16:43I'll try it out.
16:44Plus.
16:4652.
16:48141.
16:49Alright.
16:49Well, that one, that time it was correct.
16:51I, I, I, there's, there's nothing.
16:52Stay straight with us.
16:53I will.
16:53I'm being, I'm being straight with you.
16:55I'm going to be straight with you now.
16:55Because.
16:56I can't tell you at the moment.
16:58I don't like acting like a kid.
17:00Do you know what I mean?
17:01But at least it's sort of the effect of your head.
17:04What are you doing?
17:05I don't actually want to have to look at you, Gareth.
17:08Can't do that.
17:08Why not?
17:09Health and safety.
17:10Health.
17:12Um, why, is it crushed by cardboard or what?
17:15No.
17:16Number one, blocking out light.
17:18Number two, misuse of company fireworks.
17:21Misuse of fire.
17:22Yeah.
17:22See, this is why the whole redundancy thing doesn't bother me.
17:25Because if I have to work with him for another day, I'm just, I will, I will slit my throat.
17:31You won't do it like that though.
17:33You get the knife in behind the windpipe, pull it down, like that.
17:38Or I could just apply for another job.
17:41Oh, careful.
17:48Okay.
17:48Um, thanks for coming in.
17:50Um, this will take a minute.
17:52Uh, right.
17:53I am aware of the rumours that have been circulating.
17:56And I just want to take this opportunity to put the record straight.
17:58Uh, I'm team leader.
17:59I should know first.
18:00Yeah, I'm telling everyone now.
18:02Just tell me very quickly.
18:03Just whisper it to me.
18:04Can you just tell them?
18:05Yeah.
18:05Yeah.
18:06All right.
18:06All right.
18:07Should I tell them?
18:07You don't know what it is.
18:09All right.
18:09You tell them then my permission.
18:12I need your permission.
18:13Permission granted.
18:15Use as you wish.
18:17Head office have deemed it appropriate to enforce an ultimatum upon me.
18:23And Jennifer is talking of either downsizing Swindon Branch or this branch.
18:29Oh, that's a surprise.
18:30And are you going to let her?
18:31No.
18:32Malcolm.
18:33Because you didn't see me in there, were there?
18:34Through his eyes only.
18:35I said, if head office try and come here in an affair, they've got me to contend with.
18:38Okay?
18:39You can go and fiddle with Neil's people, but I'm the head of this family.
18:42And you're not going to fiddle with my children.
18:43I am.
18:43If anyone does.
18:44Yeah, but David, if they do downsize here, then what will you?
18:47Well, what?
18:47You think I'd let that happen?
18:49It won't be out of your hands, then.
18:50It won't be out of my hands, Malcolm.
18:51And that's a promise.
18:53Okay.
18:53Can you promise that?
18:55Well, in his mother's grief.
18:56Well, I have promised it.
18:58Okay?
18:59And it insults me.
19:00They don't even have to ask.
19:01It's just that we need to let back...
19:02Sorry, Malcolm.
19:03Dawn wants to speak.
19:04Go on, Dawn.
19:05It was just that I was in the meeting with Jennifer and she said that it could be this branch
19:09that gets the chop.
19:10That might help.
19:13If you were in the meeting with Jennifer, then maybe you should adhere to the ongoing confidentiality
19:19agreement of meeting.
19:21Yeah.
19:22Information is power.
19:23So, you can't say for certain whether it's going to be us all, then, can you?
19:26This is my ship and I'm asking you to trust me.
19:28And you can't go wrong.
19:29It's not a question of trust.
19:30It is a question of trust, Malcolm.
19:32Yeah, yeah.
19:32It is a question of trust.
19:33Do you trust me?
19:34Do you trust me?
19:35Yes or no?
19:35Yes, I trust you.
19:37I trust you.
19:37He does.
19:40So, meeting adjourned.
19:42Good.
19:42Excellent.
19:42Okay.
19:43I would have said much to say.
19:45In fact, I would have said it very soon.
19:46Can I just ask?
19:47Do you trust me?
19:48Hands up if you trust me.
19:49You have to.
19:50Yeah.
19:50Well, you ask them.
19:51Put your hand down.
19:52No, I need to know.
19:52I'm assistant original manager.
19:53Assistant to the original manager.
19:54Go ahead.
19:57I'm not worried for me.
19:58I'll be alright.
20:00But if there does have to be a cull, then so be it.
20:03I mean, that's just natural selection.
20:05In the wild, some people wouldn't survive.
20:08I mean, imagine a warehouse where a little midget fella is driving a forklift.
20:16Okay, he can't stay over the top.
20:18He's got great big platform shoes on, so he can reach the pedals.
20:23Because he's little legs.
20:26I mean, Anton's a lovely bloke, don't get me wrong.
20:29But, should he be working here?
20:34Have you got a price for matte-coated SRA1?
20:37If I can't see you, I can't hear you again.
20:41Just tell me, will you?
20:43No, I can't hear you.
20:44If you want to speak to me, give me a ring, okay?
20:56It's on voicemail.
20:57Leave a message.
21:01Hi, it's me, Gareth.
21:03I need a price on matte-coated...
21:05Oh, this is stupid.
21:07Yeah, it is.
21:07This is stupid.
21:09It's so...
21:10Sorry, mate.
21:10What do you want?
21:12I need a tonnage price on matte-coated SRA1.
21:15So I've got 160 down here.
21:17But I'm sure that isn't right, because when I spoke to Glyn earlier on, he's...
21:22Right, I know you're not there.
21:23Yeah.
21:24And obviously you can't hear that, but...
21:26I'm not talking to myself.
21:28Because...
21:28They're filming.
21:34That feels nice, actually.
21:37Doing all that would be nails.
21:38Shh.
21:42It's your new...
21:43You actually can't do anything with your hair at all.
21:46Right.
21:47Oh, no.
21:47Travel.
21:48Sanj.
21:49This is Sanj.
21:50This is Ricky.
21:52This guy does the best Ali G impersonation.
21:56Aye.
21:57I can't do it.
21:58Go on.
21:58I don't.
21:59Oh!
22:01Sorry.
22:01No, it's not you.
22:02It's the other one.
22:03Yeah.
22:03The other what?
22:05Um...
22:05Packy.
22:06Ah.
22:08That's racist.
22:11Sorry.
22:12No, I don't have a great many ethnic employees.
22:16That's true, but it's not company policy.
22:19I haven't got a sign on the door that says white people only.
22:22You know.
22:23I don't care if you're black, brown, yellow.
22:27Yeah.
22:28Orientals make very good workers, for example.
22:30You like a good drink?
22:31Yeah.
22:31At the end of the week?
22:33Yeah.
22:34Well, this is why we're going out.
22:35So we can have a...
22:36When are you going out, then?
22:37...end of the week drink.
22:38When are you going out, then?
22:39All tonight, hopefully, I thought.
22:41Uh...
22:42Hi.
22:42Hi.
22:43Hi, sweetheart.
22:43You ready, yeah?
22:45Yeah.
22:46Um...
22:46Would you mind me if I would have a drink with this lot?
22:48No, no, no.
22:49Come on, let's go.
22:49Okay.
22:50Well, um...
22:51I'll be a couple of minutes, cos it's only past five.
22:54You should come, you know, be alive.
22:55No, I'd love to, mate.
22:56Yeah, no, you're all right, seriously.
22:57We've got to get off.
22:57Okay, well.
23:08Shhh.
23:13Um...
23:17What's in the belly?
23:18Just tell her I'll see you later.
23:19See you later.
23:19See you later, mate.
23:20All right, mate.
23:21Take care.
23:26Dreaded first, eh?
23:28Yeah.
23:28Dreaded first, eh?
23:28All right?
23:29Yeah, no, all right, yeah.
23:31You've seen the vibe.
23:32Yeah?
23:33Chilled out.
23:35You know.
23:36Oh, dear.
23:37Yeah.
23:38We work hard.
23:39I mean, we...
23:40Play hard.
23:41Play hard, which we're working hard sometimes.
23:43Partly down to me.
23:44Sure.
23:46Um...
23:47I let them get out with murder.
23:49In return, they let me get out with murder.
23:50You know, the girls love me.
23:51But, er...
23:52Not in that way.
23:54But, er...
23:55You know.
23:55I suppose I've created an atmosphere where...
23:58I'm a friend first.
23:59And a boss second.
24:01Probably an entertainer third.
24:03But, er...
24:03Hold on!
24:05Practical jokes.
24:06Yeah.
24:07Right.
24:07Right.
24:07Okay.
24:08Practical jokes.
24:08Don't give me away.
24:09You're off.
24:12Come in.
24:15Ah.
24:16And then the head office said, er...
24:18Yeah.
24:18So that would be good to do then.
24:19Facts for you.
24:19Thanks.
24:20Don't go.
24:21Can you put up a chair?
24:22I was gonna call you in anyway.
24:23I need a quick word.
24:29Um...
24:31As you are aware, there are gonna be...
24:33redundancies.
24:34And you've made my life easier.
24:36In as much as...
24:37I'm gonna have to let you go first.
24:38What?
24:39Why?
24:41Why?
24:43Stealing.
24:44Thieving.
24:46Thieving?
24:47Yeah.
24:49Erm...
24:49Er...
24:50What am I meant to have stolen?
24:52Post-it notes.
24:53Post-it notes.
24:54Post-it notes?
24:56What are they worth about 12p?
24:58Oh.
24:59Got your Bible on you, Ricky.
25:00No.
25:00Thou shalt not steal.
25:01And this is only worth 12p.
25:02You steal a thousand post-it notes at 12p.
25:04And you've made...
25:06Profit.
25:06On that.
25:06Why would I steal post-it notes?
25:08I won't.
25:09No.
25:09To make the little...
25:11Things on the end of joints.
25:12Roaches.
25:12Roaches.
25:12Caught you a drug addict.
25:14No.
25:14Just...
25:15Are you serious?
25:15Yeah.
25:17I can't...
25:18Come on.
25:21I've never stolen as much as a paperclip and you're firing me.
25:24And the good news is...
25:25I don't need to give you any severance pay because it's gross misconduct.
25:28So you can go straight away.
25:39Oh.
25:41Now.
25:43That was a joke there.
26:00good girl
26:03well done settling in
26:06practical jokes for the good
26:08thanks for these, check them out
26:11I'll do these now actually
26:18you wanker
26:21come on
26:23you're such a sad little man
26:27am I?
26:31didn't know that
26:35what is the single most important thing
26:37for a company?
26:39is it the building?
26:40is it the stock?
26:42is it the turnover?
26:45it's the people
26:46investment in people
26:49my proudest moment here
26:50wasn't when I increased profit by 17%
26:53or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff
26:57it was a young Greek guy
26:58first job in the country
26:59hardly spoke a word of English
27:01but he came to me
27:02and he went
27:02Mr. Brent
27:03will you be the godfather to my child?
27:10didn't happen in the end
27:11we had to let him go
27:12he was rubbish
27:13he was rubbish
27:13up rais Jones
27:14in the end
27:14and I