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00:23No problem, no problem.
00:30Another day, another dollar.
00:33Any mail?
00:38Is your Aderson earring?
00:40Whatever, get over it.
00:42How long have you had that?
00:43Too long, baby.
00:45It's bleeding.
00:46It really stings.
00:48Is it an old one?
00:50Yeah, and I had to push really hard at the time.
00:51What did they heal over?
00:53It had healed over, so I think I just opened a saw.
00:59You know those, what are you looking at?
01:01I'm not looking at anything.
01:03You know those people that came in, Ray and Jude, that I had the meeting with?
01:06I know.
01:07Yeah, they do.
01:08We know they do sort of training seminars.
01:11Yeah, they use expert speakers, don't they?
01:13Yeah.
01:13They're using me.
01:14So, for my, you know.
01:17Expertise.
01:18Yeah.
01:18Well the good news for you, young lady is, you're involved.
01:21So, I'm doing one tonight.
01:23I'm getting quite a bit of money from it.
01:25It's a big ghost, but 300 quid.
01:27So, I need someone just to carry a bag or something, organise.
01:31Oh, well, I'm not...
01:31100 quid for an hour's work tonight.
01:34100 for an hour?
01:35That is a lot.
01:3680.
01:37You just said 100?
01:3890.
01:38You just said 100.
01:39All right.
01:40Get there early then for that, because that's sharing the wealth, see?
01:43Looking after...
01:44That is silly money, 100 for that.
01:46I should've...
01:49Very exciting.
01:50It's what I've, you know, I've always wanted to do.
01:52It's that working...
01:53I've had these cards made up.
01:56David Brent, assertiveness and guidance training in business.
02:00If it's in you, I'll find it.
02:03That's actually what I do, you know.
02:04I go along and I just point out what you've already got.
02:07I've got a spiritual guide.
02:09The reason I put if it's in you, I find it, is if I waste, you know, good time and
02:13money
02:13looking for it and I can see it's definitely not in you, I don't want to be sued because
02:16you haven't got it.
02:17So, you know, you're not going to get me on that.
02:33What's going on here?
02:36What's it look like?
02:37How long has this been going on?
02:39When were you going to tell me?
02:40Huh?
02:40I can't believe you get off with a bird that I fancy.
02:44Why can't you believe that, Garrett?
02:45Well, I can't believe there's a bird that fancies you over me for a start.
02:48What are you...
02:49He's a weird little bloke.
02:50Look at his cartoon face and his hair.
02:52He looks like a Fisher Price man.
02:54And his rubbish clothes.
02:56God, it makes me think there's something wrong with you for a start.
02:58But yet, in my head, I'd still do you, so I'm confused.
03:03All right, I'll ask you straight.
03:05Is there anything that could happen between us two while this is going on?
03:09Like what?
03:10What, specifically?
03:12Yeah.
03:15Handjob?
03:16No, don't answer.
03:17Think about it.
03:24Right, do I look like a Fisher Price man?
03:26Yeah.
03:27Do I?
03:28Well, don't say yes.
03:37Your favourite computer geek is here.
03:39Jesus.
03:46What, Simon?
03:48How's it going?
03:51What are you doing with my computer?
03:54Um, it's not your computer, is it?
03:56It's Wernham Hogg's.
03:58Right, what are you doing with Wernham Hogg's computer?
04:00You don't need to know.
04:01No, I don't need to know, but could you tell me anyway?
04:04I'm installing a firewall.
04:06Okay, what's that?
04:08It protects your computer against script kiddies, data collectors, viruses, worms, and Trojan horses,
04:12and it limits your outbound internet communications.
04:14Any more questions?
04:15Yes.
04:16How long will it take?
04:17Why?
04:17Do you want to do it yourself?
04:18No, I can't do it myself.
04:19How long will it take you out of interest?
04:20It'll take as long as it takes.
04:22Right.
04:23Um, how long did it take last time you did this?
04:26Right, thank you.
04:26Now, I'm going to switch it off.
04:27When it comes back on, I'll ask you to hit yes, no, or cancel.
04:31Hit cancel, do not hit yes or no.
04:33Right.
04:34Did you hear what I said?
04:36Yep.
04:36What did I say?
04:37Hit cancel.
04:37Good.
04:38Thanks.
04:42Um, I'm an educator.
04:44I'm a motivator.
04:44I'm a motivator of people.
04:47I excite their imaginations.
04:50It's like bloody dead poet society sometimes out there.
04:52You know, at the end where they all stand on the tables and, you know, I wouldn't want
04:55them to stand on the tables.
04:56Literally, it's against health and safety for one thing.
04:58But my point is this.
05:00Life is about communication.
05:02We live for three score year and ten.
05:03And it's, did I communicate?
05:05Yes, you did.
05:06Did I get something across?
05:07Yes, you did.
05:08Are you going to pay me for it?
05:09Yes, lots.
05:10Thanks very much.
05:10Not why I do it, but thank you.
05:18Going to go carting again at the weekend with the lads.
05:21Oh, yeah.
05:21What?
05:22Down supercarts?
05:23Yep.
05:24You any good?
05:25Okay, first, last time I went.
05:268 minutes 51, got a certificate.
05:27Yeah.
05:29Yeah, well, I went down there the first day it opened, right?
05:32And I did a couple of laps.
05:33I pulled over.
05:34The bloke that runs the thing came over and said, oi, no professionals.
05:37I took my helmet off.
05:37I said, I'm not a professional.
05:39He said, you're not a professional.
05:40I said, no.
05:40He said, well, you should be.
05:42If I was you, I'd take up Formula One.
05:44And if you drive like that, you'd probably be the best in the country.
05:46So I'm not interested.
05:47I'm making shit loads out of computers.
05:51You ever had a go at Speedway?
05:52Have you?
05:53Yep.
05:54Right, well, I was doing it once.
05:56And I was bombing it round.
05:58And some idiot had left like a ramp thing out.
06:00Lifted a bounce.
06:01I could see the people going, oh, my God.
06:03If that guy hits that ramp going at that speed, he's definitely dead.
06:07I hit the ramp.
06:08I took off in the air.
06:09I turned over in the air.
06:10And they were going, well, he's definitely dead now.
06:12I landed on my wheels, pulled over and said, what were you worried about?
06:17About five?
06:18Five.
06:20So who was this check with again?
06:22What's this in?
06:22The mother's meeting.
06:23Dawn tells me you're shutting down reception at five.
06:26Wow.
06:26Just half hour.
06:28Early today.
06:28Yeah, you think it can run a code out, huh?
06:31Well, yeah.
06:31Phones will go straight.
06:32They can answer their own.
06:32They'll do their own post tonight.
06:33Well, that's good.
06:34So we can probably lose her altogether then, can we?
06:37What do you mean?
06:37Well, if you don't need a receptionist, we may as well let her go.
06:40Either she's needed or she's not.
06:41We do need a receptionist.
06:42My point is, David, you haven't put a system in place, you know?
06:44For your own needs, you've told Dawn to shut down reception at five.
06:46You haven't told these people they can pick up the phone if it rings.
06:49I mean, does Dawn know that they can do their own post?
06:50Dawn, they can do their own post tonight.
06:52Yeah, there's no use telling her now.
06:54Wow.
06:54It's just there's no system in place.
06:56You're not thinking things through.
06:57I'm tired of this fuzzy thinking, David.
06:59All right, chill out.
07:00Don't have a cow, mate.
07:01Don't talk to me like you've forgotten who's in charge here.
07:03Let me remind you, I'm your boss, okay?
07:05Yeah.
07:06Just try and think things through.
07:13That was your fault, then?
07:14Took the rat for you, didn't I?
07:16Yeah.
07:22Once, right, when Bruce Lee was filming,
07:24one of the extras just came over and just started a fight.
07:26Oh, yeah, I know this, and he was amazing at coming through,
07:28but Bruce Lee just did a roundhouse on him.
07:30Well, no, he smashed him through a wall.
07:32Instead of firing him, he just said,
07:34go back to where you were, let's get on with the filmer.
07:36Yeah, and those cats were as fast as lightning.
07:38You know when he's fighting Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragon?
07:40No.
07:41Have you not seen that?
07:43No.
07:44Have you not?
07:44I can't...
07:45That is a classic.
07:47No, I've not seen him fight Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragon.
07:49I've seen him fight Chuck Norris in Way of the Dragon.
07:52That's what I meant.
07:53Is it?
07:53Yeah.
07:53Why did you say he'd seen him fight Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragon?
07:56Because he fights Bob Wall in both,
07:58but Norris is only in Way of the Dragon.
08:00Yeah, I know.
08:01So when he's fighting Chuck Norris...
08:02In what?
08:03In Way of the Dragon.
08:04Correct, at last.
08:06Um...
08:07You know Bruce Lee's not really dead, don't you?
08:10Yeah, it's in a book.
08:11What he did was he faked his own death,
08:13so that he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police,
08:15infiltrating drugs gangs in the triads.
08:17Yeah, I reckon that's true.
08:18Yeah, I reckon that's true,
08:19because if you were going to send someone undercover to investigate the triads,
08:22you'd probably want the world's most famous Chinese film star.
08:26Well, I've gone off dawn now, have you?
08:29What?
08:30What?
08:31What are you talking about?
08:34Just...
08:35Shut up.
08:36Shut up.
08:45I'll be waiting on the credit checkers.
08:46We haven't worked for them for...
08:48for eight months or nine.
08:49I said we'd go round in about four o'clock a day, weren't you?
08:51Yeah.
08:52You tell me.
08:54Wait, Tim.
08:55What?
08:55You shagged it yet, or what?
08:57What?
08:58Your bird, what's her name?
08:59Rachel.
09:00Yeah, Rachel.
09:00You done it yet, or what?
09:01Of course he hasn't.
09:05I don't kiss and tell, though, so...
09:08I bet you're bloody out, haven't you?
09:13Lips are sealed.
09:15Don't ask me.
09:17No, he's done well, then.
09:19What do you mean, done well?
09:20No, she's tasty.
09:22She's nice.
09:23Yeah, but you don't even know her.
09:25No, I mean, she's very attractive.
09:26She's not very attractive.
09:30I think, um...
09:30Ray will introduce me, and I'll come out, and I'll do a bit of, you know, a few gags,
09:34and then I'll go,
09:35Right, you have to be thick-skinned in business.
09:38It doesn't matter if you're the t-boy or the general manager.
09:40People will try and rock your confidence and shake your spirit.
09:42Do not listen to them, yeah?
09:44Let's try a little exercise.
09:45And I'll just go into the audience, and I'll pick on someone at random.
09:47I'll just go, uh,
09:48You, sir, what's your name?
09:50Say your name.
09:52Leroy.
09:52Where's Leroy come from?
09:53The colour fell off a thing.
09:55Well, use your own name.
09:56Oh, Gareth.
09:57Hi, Gareth.
09:59Gareth, insult me, yeah?
10:00Let me show you that sticks and stones may break my bones,
10:02but names will never hurt me.
10:04Just throw some insults at me, just, you know,
10:06and I'll show you how to roll with the punches.
10:09Um, Swindonlock don't seem to respect you.
10:10Why would they say that?
10:12They don't know me.
10:12They're not gonna know that.
10:13And it's not true.
10:14Do something else.
10:15Um, a lot of people are laughing at the heels on your shoes.
10:18I'm not gonna be wearing the shoes, am I?
10:20Right, you're gonna be wearing the earrings?
10:21What, they're having to go like that as well, are they?
10:22Some people are.
10:23What else?
10:24Um, they've given you a nickname.
10:26What, the Swindonlock?
10:27Yeah, but everyone's using it.
10:28What is it?
10:28Well, I don't really know.
10:30No, come on.
10:30What is it?
10:31Luto.
10:32The villain from Popeye?
10:34What, it's because of the beard?
10:35It's because he's...
10:36What's that?
10:38That's...
10:39I can't believe it.
10:39Don't go on.
10:40It's me that told you.
10:41David!
10:45Hello.
10:46Sorry, everybody.
10:48Um, look.
10:49We are one big happy family here.
10:51Yeah?
10:52Now, I've been trying to welcome you guys.
10:55You know, I didn't want you here.
10:56But you're here now.
10:57So, you know, well done.
10:58Welcome.
11:01But, if there's one thing I don't like, it's nicknames.
11:04Yeah?
11:04Because nicknames are bad names.
11:11Yeah?
11:13They're not helpful.
11:14Yeah?
11:15They can be very hurtful to me.
11:16Not to me.
11:17It's like Waterford looks back.
11:18But, you know, just...
11:18You used to call Malcolm Kojak.
11:20That was affectionate.
11:22You know, he was a great detective and a fine actor.
11:25Well, maybe Mr Toad's affectionate.
11:27Who's Mr Toad?
11:28Some people call you that as well.
11:30I thought I was Blue Toad.
11:31Yeah, Blue Toad and Mr Toad.
11:33Why am I Mr Toad?
11:36There's the face again.
11:37What?
11:38It's an insult, isn't it?
11:40Very...
11:41Body fascism.
11:42That's what that is.
11:43The Toad is the ugliest of all the amphibians.
11:46I can't...
11:46If we're handing out insults for being fat, let's have a go at him.
11:50Look at him.
11:51Why...
11:51And he's got glasses.
11:53Let's call...
11:53Four eyes as well.
11:55Why don't we call him Fatty Fatty Toad Boy if we're...
11:57You know, at least start on him and then move on.
12:04Mr Toad!
12:04I can't...
12:13Everything heading upward?
12:14Yeah, just about.
12:15It was a little mess before it happened.
12:16Was it?
12:17On top of it now?
12:18Yeah, it's all right.
12:19What about you, Brenda?
12:20Yeah, all right, but I didn't get my wages through again.
12:23Did you not, really?
12:24Mm-mm.
12:25Did you tell David?
12:26Yeah, I told him in time.
12:28Oh, I'm...
12:28I'm really sorry about that.
12:29Let me...
12:30It's sorted.
12:30Let me sort that out for you now.
12:31I don't want to call you.
12:32No, don't worry.
12:32It's fine.
12:40Working hard?
12:41Working out.
12:42Fit body.
12:43Fit mind.
12:45My mind's a gap.
12:46Good.
12:46A couple of things.
12:51A couple of things, David.
12:52Did your wages go through okay this month?
12:53Yeah.
12:54Yours, Gareth?
12:55Yeah, fine.
12:56Good.
12:56So, you two are okay.
12:57A few.
12:57Why, then, has one of your team come to me saying they haven't been paid this month?
13:04Oh...
13:04Huh?
13:06No.
13:07He fears my methods because he doesn't understand my methods.
13:10You know?
13:11Human nature, the unknown, sure.
13:12But relax.
13:13You know?
13:14I don't want all this, uh, oh, what are you doing?
13:16What are you doing?
13:16How are you doing it?
13:18No.
13:19Judge me by my results.
13:21This is not the first time you've forgotten something important.
13:23It's not the first time this week.
13:24And it worries me when someone feels they have to go over your head and come to me.
13:28Snitches.
13:28Do you know, I've never seen you write anything down.
13:30You've got two computers.
13:31I don't even know what you use them for.
13:33You've got to have some sort of system.
13:35It's all up there.
13:36Yeah, but it's not all up there, is it?
13:38Most of it is.
13:39Look, David, I'll tell you now.
13:40Yeah.
13:41When I was managing the Swindon branch, our perception of your branch was they're having
13:44a laugh.
13:45Thanks very much.
13:46No.
13:47No, not in a good way.
13:48Having a laugh.
13:48Mucking around at the expense of Wernham Hog.
13:50Wow.
13:51I was to say, if they weren't mucking around having a laugh all the time, it would be much
13:54worse.
13:54I'm not interested in that, David.
13:56Look, I get the impression you'd rather be popular than steer the ship in the right
13:59direction.
14:00Wow, rubbish.
14:00And I resent the accusation because this branch has performed very well.
14:04It's performed okay.
14:05I wanted to perform a lot better.
14:06There you go.
14:07What is better?
14:08Because I could show you a graph of people versus task, and where does the line go?
14:12The line goes where I want it to go.
14:14Now, if you can't improve your margin and your volume sales, with or without making people
14:17laugh, if you can't do that, you and I are going to have to have a very serious chat.
14:21Is this why you're around all the time, keeping tabs on me, because I don't need a babysitter?
14:25Well, with respect, David, I think you do.
14:27I'm aware of this management training thing you're doing tonight, and I'm worried it's
14:30going to affect your performance at work.
14:31That's extracurricular.
14:32Some people play golf.
14:33Well, I play golf.
14:34There you go.
14:35Yes, but I'm performing as I want me to perform.
14:37You're not performing as I want you to perform.
14:39I'm performing as I want me to perform.
14:40I don't want you to perform like that.
14:41It's a good performance.
14:43Let's agree to disagree.
14:44No, let's agree that you agree with me.
14:48Ooh, you're hard, showing off.
14:51Yeah, I think I've made my point, David.
14:53Okay, I'll see you later.
15:04What are you doing?
15:05You look a bit tense.
15:06I am with him.
15:09Doesn't that feel nice?
15:10Yeah, but...
15:11Do some more work on your abs.
15:14Not now.
15:14No, no, no.
15:18No, no.
15:22What is that?
15:25I don't know how it is.
15:26But, I don't know how it is.
15:27You're all right.
15:27No, it's not.
15:27We're not doing this now.
15:28No, it's not.
15:28No, it's not.
15:29We are doing this now.
15:35It's not done.
15:36No, it's not done.
15:38No, it's not done.
15:40No, it's not done.
15:44The other thing's done.
15:57Is he ready yet?
15:58Who?
15:59David.
15:59Oh, I don't know.
16:02What are you doing tonight?
16:03I think we're just going to go out to the pub.
16:06We is...
16:06Me and Rachel.
16:07Excellent.
16:08Come on.
16:09Just a couple of pints.
16:10A couple of pints.
16:11Well, think of me.
16:13Stuck me.
16:15Oh, you should come.
16:16Relax.
16:16I think we'd better stay out.
16:18Yeah, definitely.
16:19Why?
16:19Stop.
16:20All right, James.
16:21All right, mate.
16:22Have a good night.
16:22See you later.
16:33See you later.
16:34Wish us luck on our date.
16:35Yeah, good night.
16:36Not a date, is it?
16:38She's got a boyfriend.
16:39And I'm paying her.
16:40What sort of date would that be?
16:41I think, you know,
16:42an hundred quid?
16:43What would I get for that?
16:44Not that I would,
16:45because you wouldn't,
16:45but everything I imagine.
16:47I'm not imagining any of it,
16:48but I do know what sort of,
16:49I'm just,
16:50okay, then, there we go.
16:50I'm just,
16:51oh,
16:51hurry that.
16:52That's what we're being paid for.
16:54See you.
17:11Two groups.
17:12They're both from,
17:13both from Reading,
17:13I think,
17:14and a few guys.
17:27I mean,
17:29the other three guys,
17:30you know,
17:30they've done it before,
17:31so I'll introduce you
17:33when they get in.
17:34I love being backstage.
17:36Oh.
17:37Can we just take a photo?
17:39It's for the website
17:40and the newsletter,
17:41if that's okay.
17:41No problem.
17:42You've got to take a light reading.
17:44Oh,
17:44I think it'll be okay.
17:46Yeah.
17:46If you just...
17:47Yeah.
17:53I mean,
17:53just be yourself.
17:54Yeah.
17:54Yeah,
17:54a bit more relaxed.
17:58Something like that?
18:02Not quite.
18:03It's okay.
18:05Um,
18:07just...
18:12maybe if you just sit down.
18:13You're the boss.
18:15Oh.
18:28I'm looking forward to this,
18:29actually.
18:29I think it's going to be quite a good one.
18:32Hi.
18:32Hello, mate.
18:33Are you, uh,
18:34you guys
18:35talking at this gig as well?
18:36Yeah.
18:37Just, uh,
18:38having a sneaky joint.
18:39Ah.
18:40Wow.
18:41Partially decriminalised now anyway,
18:42isn't it?
18:42So,
18:43at last.
18:44Go for it.
18:46Okay.
18:47Was it skunk?
18:48Mm-mm.
18:48It's just weird.
18:49Do you want a little chase?
18:50You sure?
18:51Yeah,
18:51I know.
18:51I'm on a diet.
18:52I would,
18:53but when I,
18:53when I get washed,
18:54I go to Munchie City,
18:55so,
18:55you know.
18:56Yeah.
18:57I'm mad enough without the gear as well,
18:59so,
19:00I'll take a round check.
19:01I'll catch you later.
19:01Yeah.
19:02Chill.
19:06Um,
19:06well,
19:06we've got four speakers for you tonight,
19:08so,
19:08uh,
19:08no messing about,
19:09uh,
19:10to begin with.
19:11From Sound Investments,
19:12Mr. Mark Found.
19:18Let me dispel a myth.
19:20Just because you're a success in your life,
19:23some people would tell you
19:24that you shouldn't be able to sleep at night.
19:27You should.
19:28Why?
19:29Because this is a business.
19:33Your future hasn't happened yet.
19:35You shape it.
19:37You're in the driving seat.
19:39Okay?
19:40Thanks.
19:46Thanks to,
19:47Richard Clark there,
19:48from Stockport Graphics.
19:49Uh,
19:50now with some words of advice
19:51on motivational techniques,
19:52from Wernham Hog,
19:53uh,
19:54Mr. David Brent.
20:10Get out.
20:13Go on.
20:15I'll open the door for you.
20:16Yeah?
20:18Yeah?
20:19If you don't want to make it,
20:20go now.
20:21Yeah?
20:22Save us all a bit of time.
20:24Yeah?
20:24If you know that you can cut it.
20:29No?
20:30Good.
20:32Have you finished now?
20:33No.
20:33I'm in the...
20:37Okay.
20:42You're all looking at me,
20:43and you're going,
20:43well, yeah,
20:44you're a success.
20:45You've achieved your goals.
20:46Yeah?
20:46You're reaping the rewards.
20:48Sure.
20:48But,
20:49oi,
20:49Brent!
20:50Is all you care about,
20:51chasing the Yankee dollar?
20:52Let me show you something
20:53I always keep with me.
20:57Just a little book.
20:58Collective Meditations.
20:59And it's a,
21:00it's a collection of philosophers,
21:02writers,
21:02thinkers,
21:03Native American wisdom.
21:06Which I...
21:07And it,
21:07and it's really
21:08showing you the,
21:09the,
21:10the,
21:10the spiritual side
21:11needs as much care and attention
21:12as the physical side.
21:14Yeah?
21:14It's about feeding the soul.
21:16Yeah?
21:17Evolving spirituality.
21:18In that,
21:19forward by Duncan Goodhue.
21:21So,
21:23can I read one,
21:25which I think,
21:26if all men were to bring
21:28their miseries together
21:28in one place,
21:30most would be glad
21:31to take each his own
21:33home again,
21:34rather than take a portion
21:36out of the common stock.
21:37It's saying,
21:38for the first time,
21:40you know,
21:40the grass isn't always greener
21:42on the other side.
21:43Don't look over your neighbour's fence
21:44and go,
21:44oh, he's got a better car than me.
21:46Oh, he's got a more attractive wife.
21:49We all wake up
21:50and we go,
21:50oh, I ache.
21:51I'm not 18 anymore.
21:53You know,
21:53I'm 30 now,
21:54I'm, you know,
21:55I'm in my 30s.
21:56I'm not,
21:56but,
21:57so what,
21:57at least I've got my health.
21:58And if you haven't got your health,
21:59if you've got one leg,
22:01at least I haven't got two legs missing.
22:03And if you have lost
22:04both legs and both arms,
22:06just go,
22:07at least I'm not dead.
22:09I'd rather be dead
22:11in that situation,
22:12to be honest.
22:13I'm not saying
22:13people like that
22:15should be,
22:15you know,
22:16put down.
22:19I'm saying that
22:20in my life,
22:22I'd rather not live
22:23without arms and legs
22:24because,
22:25you know,
22:26I'm just getting into yoga
22:27for one thing,
22:28so,
22:30in my opinion,
22:31sir.
22:32Are you familiar
22:33with the term
22:34laughter is the best medicine?
22:39Well,
22:39it's true,
22:40yeah?
22:41When you laugh,
22:41your brain releases endorphins,
22:44yeah?
22:44Your stress hormones
22:45are reduced
22:46and the oxygen supply
22:47to your blood
22:48is increased,
22:49so,
22:50you feel,
22:51I try and laugh
22:51several times a day
22:52just because it makes you feel good.
22:54So,
22:54let's,
22:55let's try that.
22:56Hoo-hoo-hoo!
22:57Hey?
22:58Ha-ha-ha!
22:58Just,
22:59ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:00Come on,
23:01trust me,
23:01you'll feel...
23:02Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:04Hoo-hoo-hoo!
23:05Hoo-hoo-hoo!
23:07Hoo-hoo-hoo!
23:07Hoo-hoo-hoo!
23:09Aye?
23:10Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:12Ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:14Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:14Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:17Hoo-hoo!
23:18Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:21Oh!
23:22Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:26I'd be lying
23:27if I said my life
23:28had turned out
23:28exactly as I'd expected.
23:30Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23:31My old school just recently had a school reunion, which I didn't go to.
23:37But one girl in my class, it turns out that she's now running her own internet auction website,
23:43making a fortune, and is happily married to a marine biologist.
23:47She used to eat chalk.
23:50OK, well, that's about it from yours, truly.
23:53Thanks for taking all I had to throw at you. I'm spent.
23:56But I am now going to make like a banana and split.
24:02You've got it.
24:04OK, before I go, though, promise me you'll remember one thing.
24:10Yeah, just remember.
24:22Come on, listen to her, listen to her.
24:27Come on, listen to her.
24:29Ooh, I've stuck on your heart.
24:31Yeah.
24:31Woo!
24:33I'll do David Briggs.
24:34You've been the best.
24:35Let's do it.
24:37Yeah, I can't fall down, now, now, now, now.
24:42Baby, I will answer you where I can get it.
24:47I love your heart.
24:48Let's just start.
24:49Are there any other...
24:51Um, yes, uh, thanks to David Briggs.
24:53You stopped it.
24:54No, don't stop it.
24:56Leave it going right at the end, until I get...
24:59Don't do that again the next time, OK?
25:01Sorry.
25:02Yeah.
25:03Uh, David Brent from Wynne Park.
25:13I'll take it into a little secret now, right?
25:15Before I went out there, I was worried whether I still had it.
25:19I'll let you be the judge of that.
25:20High five.
25:21Don't let me hang it down.
25:23Oh, God.
25:24Oh, jeez.
25:25Oh, here he is.
25:27Oh.
25:28Tina, a bit too much for you?
25:29Possibly.
25:30Oh, it's your job.
25:31Hold me back, because when I'm out there, I am, oh, and it's like, so that's up to you,
25:36I'm afraid.
25:37Oh, jeez.
25:39Tell you what, though, they seemed to go for it, didn't they?
25:41So, uh...
25:42Not, not.
25:42Oh, yeah?
25:43You all right?
25:44Yeah.
25:44Well done.
25:45What do you think?
25:46Well, my tastes are quite traditional.
25:48Bit too rock and roll for you?
25:49Possibly.
25:50Each his own, each his own.
25:51Better warn you now, that was me on a seven.
25:53So wait to see me on a nine or ten, innit?
25:55It's your check.
25:57Thanking you.
25:58Well, there you go.
25:59More importantly, though, what pub we going to?
26:04More important than that.
26:06300 quid.
26:06I don't think so.
26:07Oh, where are we going?
26:10We can't.
26:11We're just going to grab some food, go home.
26:12Pizza?
26:13Yeah?
26:14Never mind pizza express.
26:15What about beer express first?
26:17Next stop, drunkenness.
26:19Doesn't have to be.
26:20Go anywhere you want.
26:21Chinese, Indian, as long as it's, you know,
26:25It's on me.
26:27Here we go.
26:28Three musketeers.
26:32Oh, I just remembered I can't.
26:34What do you mean?
26:34I've just remembered something I've got to do, actually.
26:37Oh, just us two then?
26:39Oh, no.
26:39What sort of clubs around it?
26:41I'm not going to a club.
26:41You bloody are.